Skulduggery Quotes

“I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.
“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”
“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.”
“If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re not
going to hurt you’. Idiot.”
“He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.”
The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.
“You’re... You’re not going to kill me?”
“No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked,
keeping her voice low.
“The last time we were in this building, we accused the
Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think
we’ll be waiting long.”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make
murder into an art form!”
Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl
before falling.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“I should go in alone," Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official."
"So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring."
"You're standing on the roof of a train," Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out.
"Fine," he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“You've done what?"
"I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“Violence?"Skulduggery said. "Violence is never the answer, until it's the only answer.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“This is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car.”
― Derek Landy, The End of the World

“Aurora sagged. "Why is it," she asked, "that every time I'm with you two we end up stealing something big?"
"We always return it," Donegan said, a little defensively. "Maybe not always in one piece or necessarily to the right person but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing."
Gracious looked at him. "It's a little bit stealing."
"Anyone who leaves a private jet just lying around deserves to have it stolen."
"It wasn't lying around," said Gracious. "It was locked up tight. It took us an hour to dismantle the security system and get inside."
Donegan looked at him. "You're not helping.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Have to be honest with you Darquesse, I cannot feel that. That must be one of your special abilities, because to me, it looks like you just killed a whole bunch of people for no reason."

"Oh," said Darquesse. "That's so sad”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.

Darquesse smiled.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil”
― Derek Landy

“But a novel, different from a history book recounts factual touch points of the past, tells a story and does so through character. What does this character think and feel? Now we are in the realm of fiction—historical fiction.”
― Paul Rushworth-Brown, Skulduggery

“Five years ago, I set about writing a different kind of book. A book that I felt wasn't available, a book that I wanted to read. An honest story that pulled no punches about the lives of people living on the moors of Yorkshire in the 16 and 17th centuries. These people were my ancestors and probably yours, the poor peasants lost to time but now found.”
― Paul Rushworth-Brown, Red Winter Journey

“I envisaged a woman of the late nineteenth century marrying into this milieu, finding it unendurable and fleeing back with her child to the more ordinary hazards of London: of that child, given at her christening the ancient Roman name for the island, Sarnia, but reared in ignorance of her paternal background, discovering, after her mother’s death, that she was an heiress, and being bidden back to claim her patrimony. Skulduggery followed naturally.”
― Hilary Ford, Sarnia

“Cartwright grooved the chisel's tooth into the base of the skull, where the spine would fuse, and lifted the hammer. The chisel jumped in his hand and half the skull turned to silt. It cascaded down the rock wall with the faintest sigh. The {nine-fingered} boy let out a string of oaths so profane, so unparalleled, that surely they'd been inspired by a hell so near.

Cartwright was glad to have a hammer in hand.”
― Matthew Neill Null, Allegheny Front

“Skulduggery took a small spool of thread from his pocket and started wrapping it around the door handles.
"That'll hold?" Valkyrie asked sceptically.
"This is Resolute Thread. The more pressure applied, the stronger it gets. It's very rare. They say it was made from the stomach lining of an emperor dragon, over 2000 years ago."
"Was it?"
"No, it's just really strong thread.”
― Derek Landy