This isn't great, even for monster erotica. Non/Dub-Con referred to as "making love", weird gourd babies. Just bleh. If there were at least some humorThis isn't great, even for monster erotica. Non/Dub-Con referred to as "making love", weird gourd babies. Just bleh. If there were at least some humor to save it, I'd have gone with 2-stars, but alas, it was not meant to be....more
Two guys, down on their luck, just longing to be understood. Long walks, star gazing, musical accompaniments, and butt pounding. Mr. Tingle, you trulyTwo guys, down on their luck, just longing to be understood. Long walks, star gazing, musical accompaniments, and butt pounding. Mr. Tingle, you truly are a romantic....more
Bleh. Even on a monster porn scale this was just bad. Not one iota of funny to be found, not even in the cheestastic lines that so often accom[image]
Bleh. Even on a monster porn scale this was just bad. Not one iota of funny to be found, not even in the cheestastic lines that so often accompany a monsterotica.
And the title is a misnomer. He is in no way "taken" by a doll. That's what I signed up to read. I wanted to see this guy sex it up with a creepy ass haunted doll damn it! Not some master/servant demon BS.
Yes , this is more monster porn. Yes, I am totally aware that this is becoming a problem. No, my mother would not be proud.
But you see***2.5 Stars***
Yes , this is more monster porn. Yes, I am totally aware that this is becoming a problem. No, my mother would not be proud.
But you see, I had to read this. I mean, I had to. This is not just monster porn. It's monster alien ANT porn. I've never read ant porn before. I couldn't pass that up, right? Right. This is really important information. I don't want to get all technical here but this is very serious science stuff.
Maybe my mom would understand that....
The best thing about this story is that I laughed out loud reading it (barked was more like it but that's not super lady like and I'm nothing if not a lady).
The worst part is the dubious consent. Just because she likes it despite herself does not mean it's consensual. This is another case where pheromones or some shit make people super horny against their will.
Let me share some snippets of this little gem with you:
"Despite the fact that I never have time to work out, I'm somehow very fit. I'm also the proud owner of a massive rack bestowed by my equally attractive family tree. Some would say I hit the genetic lottery, but on nights like tonight I just wish I looked like an old wrinkly scientist with a long gray beard."
"The ant's massive cock is on display for me, a red tower of sex just beaconing for my lips to be wrapped around."
"I glance around to see that there's an entire circle of ants lying on their backs around me, their giant red dicks standing straight up like giant rockets towards the sky from which they came"
And one last excerpt
"They spill into my butt over and over again, using my body as a personal cum dumpster for their alien seed."
Oh, oh, oh. Let me also share my absolute favorite description: sexual ant-kabob.
If that doesn't make you want to read this story then I think you are just a lost cause and not a true monster smut aficionado....more
You must know by now that if I ever read something entitled "Sex with____(fill in your choice of beast)" that it's because my MacHalo monster porn pimYou must know by now that if I ever read something entitled "Sex with____(fill in your choice of beast)" that it's because my MacHalo monster porn pimps put me up to it.
Do you think I voluntarily read this filth?
No. No I do not. I do it for SCIENCE. I do for the good of the rest of the group. I do it so you don't have to. It's all very altruistic of me really.
This book had too many words, too much story.
Now, I know as a con that sounds a little far-fetched. It is a book. Books generally have words and a whole storyline to go with it. This one just had an excessive amount of them and I didn't care about a plot.
I mean, hellloooo, this a book about bigfoot and the bridesmaid that has sex with him. I don't care about all the wedding details, or who is married to who, or that they order pizza and reminisce. I just want to see Sasquatch make it with a human damnit!
Uh, I mean, er, I know you the intended audience won't care about bridesmaid dresses and being punctual for breakfast, that you want to see more big hairy beast action.
Not me. That's not my thing. Again, I do this for science, for you.
And as for the squaaatchy lovin our recently spurned Jill gets, it's basically the same as human sexy times. Only the guy doesn't talk (except to screech out her name every now and then), obviously has one monster sized dong, and he's super extra musky (which only seems natural). Other than that it's pretty vanilla sex. No weird orifices penetrated. No marking of his territory by biting her thighs. Just sweet, gentle caresses and mind shattering orgasms. Nothing new to see here folks.
Not that it's not new to me. I never read this stuff. It's just that you being the seasoned monster porn aficionado that presumably are would think that it's a little on the tame side.
As for me, well I thought it was all very depraved. Who willing has sex with a hairy, beefed up, monster-cocked beast who only wants to give you earth-moving orgasms and gather you berries afterwards, no strings attached?
Buddy Read with the increasingly disturbing MacHalos
I think there's an unwritten rule somewhere that states you have to be willing to read almost anytBuddy Read with the increasingly disturbing MacHalos
I think there's an unwritten rule somewhere that states you have to be willing to read almost anything to join this very elite crew of readers.
Take this wonderful piece for instance.
A young girl on the cusp of sexual maturity finds comfort in the plush filled, fur covered arms of her teddy bear. Doesn't sound too bad, right?
[image]
Who doesn't appreciate a good, snuggly teddy bear when they are feeling blue?
Unless, of course, the comfort comes from strapping on a dildo and having your teddy "take" your virginity thus ruining you for all real, live people. Ruh-roh! I bet most people don't think of that.
[image]
Ah, those crazy kids. What a love story! I hope they get their happy ever after. In fact, I think they both just did...
THIS is how I decided to get into the Christmas spirit this year, or, should I say, "This is how I decided to get a little C***2.5 Stars rounded up***
THIS is how I decided to get into the Christmas spirit this year, or, should I say, "This is how I decided to get a little Christmas spirit in me"? Hmm. A bit of both I think.
Anyhoo. This is pretty self explanatory. It's an erotica short involving a woman and the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future with some ghostly menage action going on. And while I guess it could be considered "cute" it really was just "meh" on the hot factor for me. One interesting note: it's actually the guy's (ghost's) jizz that tastes of peaches in this one. Way to mix it up Ms. Langlais. Because EVERYONE should be able to have fruit flavored cream :)...more
This is not bad per se, just blah. A tame, blah, unerotic erotica. The writing itself was pretty decent but come on, we all know we don't re2.5 Stars
This is not bad per se, just blah. A tame, blah, unerotic erotica. The writing itself was pretty decent but come on, we all know we don't read these stories for the decent writing. A sensuously powerful half-lion demon and a virginal witch. How could you go wrong with that? By writing uninspired lame sex scenes on top of the dubious consent that's how. Ho hum....more
Now, this may come as a big surprise to some of you but this story was SUPER cheesy. It's less erotica and more satire. Some parts were funny, especiaNow, this may come as a big surprise to some of you but this story was SUPER cheesy. It's less erotica and more satire. Some parts were funny, especially the trail of ties, but I'm not sure if it's enough to push this over the edge of corny to something that's so silly it's good.
Another titillating impromptu BR with the ever monster/alien/dino loving MacHalo gals
Because, what could be better than captive virgins and billionaire tentacled monster bikers?...more
Simply Sam
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