this book was NOT good and i think at this point i need to stop pretending that olivia dade is for me
as much as i like reading books with representatithis book was NOT good and i think at this point i need to stop pretending that olivia dade is for me
as much as i like reading books with representation of fat girls, this one came at the MAJOR expense of being unbearably unreadable. i hate to roast the main character because we did have a lot in common with our insecurities and depressive tendencies, but i really could not take her seriously because her dialogue was absolutely miserable. so overwritten, weighed down by memes and references that were sometimes decades old, and generally so unbelievable as a main character to the point where i was shocked that the main male lead didn't find her horrendous instead of attractive.
immediately when i read the one (and only...... and on page 300....) sex scene, all i could think about was how i was going to quote it WORD FOR WORD in this review because the main character's dialogue was absolutely diabolical. if i had to suffer, then so do you:
"You are the undisputed Champion of Head, long may he reign, and long may he lick. You can grab a condom and get inside the pussy you now own. Congratulations, by the way. The owner's manual will arrive in your inbox shortly."
the fact that the top reviews for this book are all people who DNFed it just shows me how much of a clown i was for pushing through, because this was the fact that the top reviews for this book are all people who DNFed it just shows me how much of a clown i was for pushing through, because this was BAD.
the entire premise of this book is that two bibliophiles meet and are instantly enamored with each other, but neither of them are interesting characters at ALL and they have zero chemistry other than they both are weirdly obsessed with books. and not even what's in them, just book binding and collecting.
after a whirlwind (instalove) introduction that was FULL of nonsensical, overwritten jargon intended to make the reader realize these are book lovin' folks and nothing else, the vampire brings this character back to his mansion to attempt to fuck her to death?? calling this a blood/pain/choking kink is really underselling that the entire time the vampire is fucking this main character, all he's thinking about is killing her. it was truly disgusting, and the only reason i held out the garbage first half of this book was to see if the smut redeemed it, but it only sealed the coffin.
ultimately i read this for the plus size readathon, but the main character's weight is never even mentioned and not part of the plot at all, so all in all i feel really misled by this cover. overall one of the worst books i've read and thank god it was just a novella because this made zero sense and i hope the male main character rots in hell...more
if i would've known this writer was actually a husband x wife duo it would've been removed from the tbr EXPEDITIOUSLY because this book was so horrid if i would've known this writer was actually a husband x wife duo it would've been removed from the tbr EXPEDITIOUSLY because this book was so horrid ...more
i'm about to start biting ankles because this book had SUCH an interesting premise with the creatures of narnia starting to serve a false god and all i'm about to start biting ankles because this book had SUCH an interesting premise with the creatures of narnia starting to serve a false god and all the parallels it was making to corruption and traitorous leaders.... and then it was all ruined because cs lewis ONCE AGAIN brings in islamophobia and makes the arab/muslim-coded characters team up with the narnian villain. and what's worse is this book actually includes the main characters doing blackface and slurs were used SEVERAL times.
if the ending of this book existed without any of the previous 200 pages it would be 5 stars for sure because i loved how the pevensie kids all got back together (view spoiler)[(lol except you, susan) (hide spoiler)] and it feels like the worldbuilding became fully actualized and you got to see it in its complete form.
but i can't not cringe at this book because of how outdated and racist some of the themes were. (view spoiler)[also it's so fucking funny to me that cs lewis created beloved characters that survived world war 2 and were on their way to live happy lives but then all died in a trainwreck (hide spoiler)]...more
Appalling that in a world where there's literally talking animals and every creature imaginable, CS Lewis still had to make arab-coded Brown people thAppalling that in a world where there's literally talking animals and every creature imaginable, CS Lewis still had to make arab-coded Brown people the villains. Weak storytelling in this one and pretty boring too....more
cannot comprehend what yall are on rating this 5 stars but that was ass and not even worth the energy to type why. just terribly written and horrendoucannot comprehend what yall are on rating this 5 stars but that was ass and not even worth the energy to type why. just terribly written and horrendously boring with not an ounce of (consensual) smut to redeem it...more
IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME AN AUTHOR RUINED MY FAVORITE SERIES BY ADDING ON MORE SHIT TO THEIR PLOTLINES THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, I WOULD HAVE TIF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME AN AUTHOR RUINED MY FAVORITE SERIES BY ADDING ON MORE SHIT TO THEIR PLOTLINES THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, I WOULD HAVE TWO NICKELS. WHICH ISN'T A LOT BUT IT'S WEIRD THAT IT HAPPENED TWICE.
words actually can't capture how mad i am about this one. i specifically ONLY read this series because i knew that my favorite characters (view spoiler)[from ACOTAR (hide spoiler)] would be in it, and i SUFFERED (big emphasis on SUFFEREEDDDDD) through like 2,500 pages of this series just to feel like i can't believe this is the same author who wrote acotar and tog. the craft in these books is sooo downhill and both the writing, the main character and the pace of the entire story is so weak, annoying, undercooked, nonsensical, etc.
there's so much to go into about why this didn't work for me (why is ithan suddenly the worst character ever? (view spoiler)[wtf do you mean bryce got sucked into a black hole and survived? (hide spoiler)]), but since i only read the book knowing (view spoiler)[acotar characters, specifically my wife nesta, (hide spoiler)] would be in it, that's what i return to.
actually this whole section has gotta be in spoilers, sorry:
(view spoiler)[someone pry nesta from sarah's cold, greedy hands because i cannot BELIEVE she did my girl dirty like this. i hate urban fantasy because i hate technology and fantasy colliding and the fact that the acotar world is irrevocably knowledgable of phones and guns and EVEN THE FUCKING WORD "ALPHAHOLE" fills me with so much rage i need to go touch grass. i hate that this book is now the precursor to acotar book 5 because inevitably bryce's involvement and the star sword are going to be integral to that plot, and i want to forget this ever happened. (hide spoiler)]
long story short avoid this book like the plague because i regret reading it so bad. i genuinely just wasted like 3 months on all of these and it's time i'll never get back and now i have to sit here thinking about it, wishing i was none the wiser....more
julie soto, i'm gonna touch your hand when i say this. this book should not have left AO3.
i was MASSthanks to the publisher for the free review copy!
julie soto, i'm gonna touch your hand when i say this. this book should not have left AO3.
i was MASSIVELY excited for this as forget me not was my favorite book of last year. but as soon as i found out that this was her first book that she wrote and rewrote and was constantly rejected by publishers, my excitement started to falter. and by the time i was 30% into this book, i was desperate for it to be over.
i have so much to say about it that i can't sum up into bite sized pieces, but the gist of it is:
1. this main character is so naive and so many unrealistic opportunities are given to her just because she's young and ~special~, even though she doesn't have any outstanding qualities other than being a main character in a book 2. the love interest is SOOO manipulative and annoying?! i could go on and on about this alone but he's constantly putting the main character down and telling her she sucks at playing violin/cello (which i have a big problem with the fact that this book makes it seem like you can play both interchangeably??), but then he also uses her as a muse and demands he play her music and is constantly bossing her around on what to do and what not to do even though he's known her for like a week. he was SO obnoxious 3. the villains in this book are pointed out pretty much from the beginning to be bad people but the entire plot the characters just stick with them and hope for the best?! so it's really no surprise in the end when things go to shit and i have no sympathy for them 4. i reiterate: this book is SO unrealistic. i was never in an orchestra but i can guarantee they would never just hand first chair to a youngster because it would be good publicity. that and the amount of instrument switching these characters do and the sight reading and impromptu public performances they're forced to give? i just couldn't stomach how implausible it all was 5. i was hoping this would be a rivals to lovers plot but it really wasn't. you can really tell that this used to be a fanfiction because the pace of it is so meandering like it was written chapter by chapter instead of a full story arc. i could almost tell what the single inspiration scene and jumping off point was, so it didn't flow very seamlessly. and it uses SO many cheap, corny fanfiction-esque tropes like getting into a food fight, accidentally liking someone's old instagram post, and other groan-worthy shit i wrote when i was like 16. between that and the main guy wearing henleys and flipping his hair all the time (among other things like the main character really loving the song numb by linkin park), this book just exuded 2011 vibes.
i think the idea of musicians falling for one another has the potential to be so compelling, but it was so watered down by corny dialogue and weak plot and kind of an aimless story that it was hard for me to care about them. really the first sex scene was the only great part about this book, but not great enough to recommend it purely on that.
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original review, pre-read:
I NEED THIS BOOK IN A WAY THAT’S CONCERNING TO FEMINISM...more
i genuinely think i read a different book than everyone else who's giving this five stars?? because it was shocking how much i dislikeDNF at 120 pages
i genuinely think i read a different book than everyone else who's giving this five stars?? because it was shocking how much i disliked this. as i was debating the pros and cons, the only positive i could think of for this book was that the font size was so big that it went by fast.
i picked this up primarily on the basis that the main character is fat, and fat women in fantasy is SO rare. but every page is full of internalized fatphobia and disgusting descriptions of her body and how gross she perceives herself. on top of that, this main character frequently binge eats to the point of even vomiting, and she felt like more of a caricature and hyperbole of a fat girl than anything else. i was so disappointed and this book made me feel icky about myself in turn.
the magic system in this book is not my cup of tea--the main character was born with a gemstone in her belly button (????) called a godstone. so it revolves around religion and praying to god to help her..... ok.
but most problematically, there's a group of people who are after her for her "powers" that are written as seemingly native, complete with painted skin and rudimentary weapons. in just the one scene where she's attacked by them (view spoiler)[(i've read ahead that she's apparently also later kidnapped by them) (hide spoiler)], she outright calls them savages no fewer than six times, which was so uncomfortable and disappointing to see that racist trope alive and well with no one else talking about it.
i almost stuck it out just to see how this book improves once some real action is added, but this main character had zero personality and clunky dialogue. it was also annoying slogging through so many descriptions of her loathing of her body and eating habits (not to mention the author admitting in interviews she was a size 6 when inspiration hit her for this book).
bottom line, if i wanted to read a book inspired by spanish morocco or narrated by a fat woman, i'll just find one from an own voices author....more
this is objectively a terrible book that feels like it was published in 2002 rather than 2022 but it was the same brand of garbage as cheesy horror mothis is objectively a terrible book that feels like it was published in 2002 rather than 2022 but it was the same brand of garbage as cheesy horror movies. i knew pretty instantly that this wasn't going to be great, mainly because the main character's dialogue and inner monologue was more YA than adult (mainly in the phrases: BFF, obvi, saying iPhone every time she referred to her phone). this book is pretty slow-going, it only takes place over a couple of days, and the book really only has a few scenes if you really break it down, so the plot wasn't very strong either. and the romance was so dry and typical, it was honestly kind of annoying.
the main issue with this book and why i imagine the rating--including mine--is so low is because the internalized fatphobia in this and the way the main character solves it is so wrong. lily has zero self love for herself, and the conundrum i thought would be interesting of "what do i do with diet culture now that i'm this size forever?" ended up falling so flat. it would take a 2-hour video essay to unpack every little facet of why her mentality around weight was so flawed, and the resolution even weaker. but it was just miserable to be in lily's head, unable to escape her own self-hatred unless she felt pretty through the eyes of the love interest.
despite rating this book so low and having a roll my eye moment on every single page, i do credit it for the fact that it knows it's a silly book. it doesn't take the subject matter too seriously (even when it should, unfortunately), and that willingness to break the fourth wall was enough of a bandaid to continue reading. even though it took me a full week to read 330 pages because it could be pretty painful to slog through this main character's miserably outdated observations on her own body and societal expectations of plus size women....more
the reason i let myself get excited for this book (like.... thinking this might be my new favorite book of all time level of excited) is because i feethe reason i let myself get excited for this book (like.... thinking this might be my new favorite book of all time level of excited) is because i feel like the hype for this book transcended booktok and i also saw all my booktube friends loving it. so that means it HAS to be amazing, right?
WRONG!
although this book sucks you in immediately and the plot was very addicting throughout, i could not get over how terrible the writing style was and how far below my expectations the main characters were. the dialogue wasn't just "modern" for a fantasy world, it was also millenial cringe outdated. and the characters are supposed to be in their early 20s but honestly read younger than all the characters in Dauntless/Divergent, which is exactly how this book read.
i have so many complaints here that i'm honestly not bothered to spell out because i already talked at length about it in a dedicated reading vlog, but this was the biggest letdown of my life and i was relieved to finish it....more
this is the most violently fatphobic book i've read in my entire life--up until I DNFed it 90 pages in. skinny authortw - disordered eating, fatphobia
this is the most violently fatphobic book i've read in my entire life--up until I DNFed it 90 pages in. skinny author writes about a 400-lb teenager determined to kill himself by eating himself to death because he's so hungry and can't lose the weight and everyone makes fun of him and he thinks he's a burden to his family and he'll never get the girl he has a crush on, so that's clearly the only solution, right?
i picked up this book because i thought it would be a think piece on the internet being detrimental to mental health but instead was berated with gratuitous imagery of the author shoving in your face how gross and depressed and mean fat people are. i almost wanted to push through to the end just to see where she goes with that but it was so over the top and disgusting that i don't even want to waste one more second on it.
i don't know why i expected anything different from an author who also wrote an incestuous relationship in another series but WHAT DO YODNF at page 51
i don't know why i expected anything different from an author who also wrote an incestuous relationship in another series but WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A KISSING SCENE BETWEEN A 16 YEAR OLD AND A 26 YEAR OLD MAN IN CHAPTER 3????? i want my money back i'm not kidding
presented without comment because i really can't make this shit up:
"Tell me you're eighteen," he whispered. "I'm not." He swore. And then he tilted my face back up to his, and his mouth came down over mine anyway.
and literally a page later -
"And why aren't you eighteen?" he mumbled into my skin. "How old are you?" I asked. He lifted his head, resignation and regret in his eyes. "Twenty-six."
(actually i do have one comment: of course a man who later becomes president would also groom minors)...more
this book genuinely had me scared to sleep at night because the stalker elements of it were so creepy and yet this is a ROMANCE? with actual RAPE SCENthis book genuinely had me scared to sleep at night because the stalker elements of it were so creepy and yet this is a ROMANCE? with actual RAPE SCENES? goodnight...more
listen... i promise soon i'll give reading booktok smut a rest because obviously we don't get along but i genuinely cannot comprehend why a book like listen... i promise soon i'll give reading booktok smut a rest because obviously we don't get along but i genuinely cannot comprehend why a book like this qualifies as romance.
gratuitous gore, psychopathic characters, and in the end, a "plot twist" that demonizes people with mental illness. i only read this because the author recommends it as a prequel to her main series haunting adeline, and if this book is any indication, maybe i should quit while i'm ahead. yall have to start separating your "smut recommendations" between porn that was done for shock value and actually quality stuff because i'm getting tiirreeeeddddd...more
when tiktok recommends a book on the basis that it has the best smut around town, of course i'm gonna snoop in the kindle unlimited stoDNF at page 413
when tiktok recommends a book on the basis that it has the best smut around town, of course i'm gonna snoop in the kindle unlimited store and download it. but holy shit, all 58,000 of us who have rated this book on goodreads need therapy.
i originally started and continued this because i thought eh, how bad can it be. and at one point, i was continuing reading it purely on the basis that never in my life have i read ANYTHING like it. it's vulgar and shocking and these characters are psychotic, and every chapter appalled me in a new way. but for something heralded as having the best smut around, it was just miserable. the characters only got off on abusing one another, and after a scene where one guy came after fucking her with a gun that she then pretended to shoot him through the skull with, i decided to pack it up and save this for the girlies who..... actually, no idea. i have no clue who this target audience is.
this was bad. like, BAD. anyone who enjoyed this unironically, i am going to facebook message your mother and kink shame because i just can't believe that anyone enjoys this kind of shit unironically....more
can we all applaud that sarah has finally come to terms with using the word clit and not some pearly euphemism? serious growth here.
but otherwise i'm can we all applaud that sarah has finally come to terms with using the word clit and not some pearly euphemism? serious growth here.
but otherwise i'm shocked that sarah is the person behind the laptop on this series because it's soooo cringe. i feel like rebecca yarros ghost wrote this because bryce is SO annoying.
this book's saving grace is that there were more POVs from several more interesting characters (ruhn and tharion <3) so i was able to get some respite from her constant cringe dialogue and impulsive decision making.
despite having a much easier time reading this i still feel it's TOTALLY unnecessarily longwinded, and the book is SOOOO long and yet still doesn't explain the world or the villains well.
i'm down for reading about a bitch with no redeemable qualities just fighting in a man's world and getting what she wants. but this mainDNF at page 90
i'm down for reading about a bitch with no redeemable qualities just fighting in a man's world and getting what she wants. but this main character only caring about money, sex, and power and literally scoffing at the idea of charity and typical feel-good things (e.g. literal kittens) felt so one-dimensional and forced. it's a short book because the author absolutely breezes over every scene with no nuance, and i was too annoyed to be along for the ride.
i should've known from the author self-proclaiming this as a slytherin romance that it would be nothing but cringe. and it was....more
in summary, holy SHIT did we have bad taste back in the 2000s. there's very little to redeem how obnoxious, predictable, outdated and poorly w[image]
in summary, holy SHIT did we have bad taste back in the 2000s. there's very little to redeem how obnoxious, predictable, outdated and poorly written this book was. basically nothing happens in this book except 500 pages of dreading lena's birthday and escapades about how the whole town hates her, and by the end of the book it doesn't even resolve the main conflict??? the choice to have this be from a random guy's POV even though the entire plot is centered on lena was an absolutely bonkers choice because ethan was SO annoying and irrelevant.
i could go on and on but i should've known from the first chapter that a book that is so deeply set around the south and the confederacy was definitely a no-go...more