There are several reasons why I choose to DNF the book not related to the writing style. First, the author didn't know that any number under 10DNF 10%
There are several reasons why I choose to DNF the book not related to the writing style. First, the author didn't know that any number under 100 is written out (nine and not 9). Second, there are comma splices and fragmented sentences on every page. Third, the author doesn't know how to format paragraphs and indents correctly. And the worst of them, the author didn't google (or take a writing class) to understand how to format terms of endearments/nicknames correctly.
The writing was disjointed and stunted, and a lot of telling not showing was present within the first 10%.
The tone of voice didn't change between the FMC and Malcolm.
With all of those problems, I didn't see the need to continue reading.
Terms of endearments included within the first 10%: Darling, love, doll, dear, and dolly. Like come on. Pick one and stick with it. ...more
A lot of the time skips didn't add up; the FMC really needed to develop a backbone. Every single time the MMC messed This read a lot like a YA novel.
A lot of the time skips didn't add up; the FMC really needed to develop a backbone. Every single time the MMC messed up, she took him back.
And no matter HOW many times her magic warned her that she was in danger, she never listened. She allowed herself to be used, manipulated and attacked.
I understand that the FMC describes her blood reacting in three ways: jolt, fizz and hum but those words were soooooo overused.
This could have been an intriguing story, but alas it missed. The world building wasn't there; character development wasn't there; plot development wasn't there. It was as if I was reading the same situations, words, thoughts and motives for the entire book. ...more
DNF 15% MMC threatens to kill the FMC's kid and rape the FMC and the FMC's body betrays her and she gets horny. Nope.
Nicknames/terms of endearments: PrDNF 15% MMC threatens to kill the FMC's kid and rape the FMC and the FMC's body betrays her and she gets horny. Nope.
Nicknames/terms of endearments: Princess (which is not formatted correctly), sweetheart
As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this princess." Not correct: "Here, drink this Princess."...more
11% in - From the description, I was expecting a woman that could hold her own; that was intelligent, strong, and mentally capable of holding her own i11% in - From the description, I was expecting a woman that could hold her own; that was intelligent, strong, and mentally capable of holding her own in a room full of powerful men. Instead, there is a girl who allows two men in her life to order her around (father and Viper), allows the men to call her derogatory nicknames, allows someone to threaten sexual and physical violence against her for not complying and bows down to all of their demands with only a whisper of resistance.
Oh, and of course - "good girl" makes an appearance. It's so predictable, boring and clichéd.
13% in - With every spoken and unspoken thought from Viper, he reminds us that he doesn't see Ven as a person, just an object. "You're not just a pretty face with a nice rack, are you wildcat?" Every interaction, he reminds her that she is powerless, a toy and reduces her down to what she is - a girl with daddy issues. We have also met someone called Blake who sees her the same way. Not as a person, but someone who can further his empire.
DNF 20%
I've never been so disappointed in a FMC so very quickly. SHE CALLS HIM DADDY? JFC. She has zero spine.
Dumb nicknames so far: Princess, girlie, wildcat...more
11% in - From the description, I was expecting a woman that could hold her own; that was intelligent, strong, and mentally capable of holding her own 11% in - From the description, I was expecting a woman that could hold her own; that was intelligent, strong, and mentally capable of holding her own in a room full of powerful men. Instead, there is a girl who allows two men in her life to order her around (father and Viper), allows the men to call her derogatory nicknames, allows someone to threaten sexual and physical violence against her for not complying and bows down to all of their demands with only a whisper of resistance.
Oh, and of course - "good girl" makes an appearance. It's so predictable, boring and clichéd.
13% in - With every spoken and unspoken thought from Viper, he reminds us that he doesn't see Ven as a person, just an object. "You're not just a pretty face with a nice rack, are you wildcat?" Every interaction, he reminds her that she is powerless, a toy and reduces her down to what she is - a girl with daddy issues. We have also met someone called Blake who sees her the same way. Not as a person, but someone who can further his empire.
DNF 20%
I've never been so disappointed in a FMC so very quickly. SHE CALLS HIM DADDY? JFC. She has zero spine.
Dumb nicknames so far: Princess, girlie, wildcat...more
While the author tried to make a story full of intrigue, longing and redemption, they failed in all three areas.
The MMC was a whining, self-deprecatiWhile the author tried to make a story full of intrigue, longing and redemption, they failed in all three areas.
The MMC was a whining, self-deprecating loser that lacked any kind of backbone.
The FMC is a single mom who couldn't save herself from a wet paper bag if it landed on her face. The book starts off with her fixing her own tire and she has her own business, which we're supposed to infer she is a strong independent woman. Yet, she has been in love with the same person since she's been like 15 and he hurts her ALL the time.
During sexy times, MMC keeps saying "I shouldn't be doing this. I don't get a happy ending with you." That's also his inner monologue. Everything is all about how he doesn't deserve to be happy, how he doesn't deserve to love, etc.
This book should have been 50-75 pages shorter; take out the whining and one sentence "paragraphs" and this could have been so much better. Examples of what the MMC would say OVER and OVER again: "his words dragging like blades through the dense air. “What I would do to be good enough for you.”" "“Would love you every day of my life if I could, Dakota.”" "“Mean it when I tell you I’m not good enough for you.”"
Now, imagine that for like 40% of the book. It was exhausting.
The nicknames were too much in this book. They don't live in the south. And I can't even express to you the ick I got when the MMC called the FMC cookie while they were fucking. Gross. Nicknames/Terms of endearments used in this book (not limited to the MC's): Cookie, doodle-boo, paisley Dae, rye-rye, k-bear, sweet boy, sweetheart, paisley-cakes, sweet thing, baby, honey, and sweet girl. ...more
13% in - So far, I'm not digging the POV switches. Eight chapters with four different people having their own chapter. Unless it's the FMC, I've skipp13% in - So far, I'm not digging the POV switches. Eight chapters with four different people having their own chapter. Unless it's the FMC, I've skipped those.
21% in - MMC threatens sexual punishment if the FMC doesn't comply with his demands.
Completed
This was a very quick read. There's little substance here and the book is mostly dialogue.
In total, there are five POV's for the novel.
The author also uses deceptive book stuffing practices, so the page count is not accurate. ...more
Currently 37% in and the FMC has said at least five times that she has body betrayal syndrome when it comes to the MMC's. How very disappointing.
Done.Currently 37% in and the FMC has said at least five times that she has body betrayal syndrome when it comes to the MMC's. How very disappointing.
Done.
There were over 25 instances that the FMC said "my body is betraying me right now" and "I don't know how to stop it" and other phrases.
There is no real forward momentum with the plot. The most exciting part was the FMC being the Alpha Slayer, but that was dropped about 20% into the book.
The ending with Earl and Tina was rushed and lackluster. The Marcus "twist" was pointless and added nothing of value to the story.
The author's writing was insipid, void and vague. There are soooo many sentences that basically say "There's something about her" or "There's something dangerous behind his eyes" or "His scent reminds me that danger is around." Oh, here's a golden line: "my wound pulls tight beneath the waistband like a moth struggling against a screen door." These phrases are supposed to convey depth, imagery and/or purpose. but they don't say anything. It's the laziest form of writing around.
This book also contains around 100 spelling, syntax, tense, punctuation and capitalization errors.
Nicknames and terms of endearments fly around in this book: some characters call the FMC four different nicknames on one page. Like so many why-choose writers, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
FMC's name: Brydgett (this is such a dumb way to spell the name, it belongs on the r/tragedeigh subreddit) Nicknames/ToE used: Brydge, sweet thing, sweetheart, girl, love, honey, babe, Gidge, omega, sexy, pretty, pretty lady, Brydgie, sweet girl.
As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this sweetheart." Not correct: "Here, drink this Sweetheart."
The author has too large of a catalog of novels to make such simple writing errors. Does she not have an editing team behind her? Could they not flag every instance of contradictory writing/personality traits of the FMC/MMC. Did the author not believe in fine tuning her story telling skills? This book was such a disappointment. The FMC was supposed to be strong in mind, body and soul but she was none of that. ...more
Currently 14% in - Not super jazzed about the way the men are treating the FMC. Also, we have our first instance of BBS and it was very predictable andCurrently 14% in - Not super jazzed about the way the men are treating the FMC. Also, we have our first instance of BBS and it was very predictable and annoying.
17% in - She keeps saying that she will lull the guys into a false sense of security, but she does nothing but contradict herself. The men have shown her time and time again that they hate her, but she still guards them. I wish the FMC was written with more grit.
18% - First threat of sexual violence (out loud) against the FMC.
20% - FMC is not being strong in character or mind, in fact she is acting like a child. Another instance of BBS. The guys are still abusing her. Really? An image of the FMC getting tattooed is included?
27% "I don't blame you for treating me like a piece of shit." How unbelievably weak minded. One "I'm sorry" and she's fawning over the MMC's lap and showering him with kisses? Be fucking for real.
DNF 39%
No groveling before they fell into bed again. No...nothing. ...more
15% in - MMC is a total asshole; admits that he is a total asshole; never apologizes. He grabs a woman so hard that he leaves red marks and bruises, a15% in - MMC is a total asshole; admits that he is a total asshole; never apologizes. He grabs a woman so hard that he leaves red marks and bruises, and doesnt apologize. And the woman? She's even worse. Says "it's fine." IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT FINE? And then she STILL lusts over him even though he has done nothing except be a total asshole towards him.
One of the top reviews was like "MMC isn't an ass." What book did that person read, cause it surely wasn't this one.
FMC even questions why she can't get your body to stop responding to Evan being an asshole. BBS. This book was written in 2023. Like, dude. Come on.
22% in - Evan assaults her (again), and instead of showing remorse, he's giddy that she put up a fight. He thinks its "cute" that she is so "fiesty."
DNF 24% - Once she gets turned on by being physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and he refuses to apologize for being an asshole, I was done. ...more
Once I started skimming and not understanding the decisions being made AROUND the FMC, I DNF'd.
FMC is the poster child for body betrayal syndrDNF 65%
Once I started skimming and not understanding the decisions being made AROUND the FMC, I DNF'd.
FMC is the poster child for body betrayal syndrome.
Took a quick perusal of other reviews, and a reviewer mentioned that this book started off as a wattpadd creation, and everything made so much more sense.
Like so many shifter/PNR authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC, even when they know she doesn't like the name, or the name is associated with bullying. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point. As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this sweetheart." Not correct: "Here, drink this Sweetheart."
FMC's name: Iliana Nicknames: doll, baby, babydoll, my Ili-girl, Ili, babe, honey, doll-baby, baby daisy, daisy, love, my gorgeous doll, Babydaisy, Lili, pup, pumpkin, sweetie, sweetheart, babylove, beautiful babydaisy, Lee (make that one make sense), My sweet pup, and Ili-doll. Between two MMC's, we get 18 nicknames, very few are formatted correctly.
The MC's are vile people, just trash. One MMC tries to forcibly mark the FMC and she forgives him after a day. Her "truemate" threatens to rape the FMC in front of her father and mark her because he has all the power. The truemate gets angry every time he is reminded he slept with FMC's sister. He feels like just because he apologized, that should be the end of it. And the one who tried to force a mate mark? Ended up doing it during her heat and can't figure out why she doesn't trust him.
FMC is the weakest person out there. She refuses to stand up for herself, she refuses to put up boundaries, and she refuses to hold the MC's accountable for their actions. She gets angry when people treat her like a child, but still acts like one. ...more
While hurt, stuck in a ravine with a fire possibly heading towards the MC's, the MMC decides to make every statement a sexual one. "Ready to beDNF 22%
While hurt, stuck in a ravine with a fire possibly heading towards the MC's, the MMC decides to make every statement a sexual one. "Ready to be tied up?" "Ready to ride me?" "Have you ever been tied up?" "Do you like being tied up?" But two pages before that, he bemoans his hardon while saying to himself "this is no time to get hard, I'm a professional." Yea, sure buddy.
Those dialogue exchanges were the last straw. We had SEVERAL pages of the MMC detailing him and his brothers sexual conquests and we got to hear the sounds and moans of the MFF morning sex that was happening.
Also, the author was so repetitive with words and introducing some side characters. ...more