Wow. Well that really does go to prove you can’t judge a book by its cover. She looks so prim and proper and then BAM! It’s all fairy Favorite Quotes:
Wow. Well that really does go to prove you can’t judge a book by its cover. She looks so prim and proper and then BAM! It’s all fairy porn and werewolf harems.
Not that I don’t like what I do. But it’s not exactly a respectable pastime is it? When people ask what you do for fun, it would be far easier if you could say you like reading or building Lego or whatever, rather than killing scrooges.
Spoiler alert: I’m still convinced I’m in my twenties and that fate is just playing some kind of cruel stunt on me by making me look like I’m mid-forties.
‘I don’t use TikTok.’ It was set up a few years ago when I was having a crisis of confidence about my writing career and thought I needed to do more myself. I vowed to post to TikTok every single day for three months to see what happened. I lasted four days before I ran out of content and lost the will to live. Sometimes I get an urge to try again and then I remind myself just how painful it was and have a large glass of wine instead.
I read something last year about how the average person consumes over six thousand calories on Christmas Day. I’m treating that as a challenge that I fully intend to beat.
My Review:
The name Sarah Bonner has become synonymous with the idea of smirk-worthy good fun to me. The little pea in my brain leaps for joy whenever I pick up one of her cleverly penned missives. I revel in her witty snark, wry humor, and snappy inner musings. I adored this tale; it kept me gleefully engaged from start to finish....more
Despite their advantages, rich people were rarely ever cool, though they spent huge amounts of money trying to achieve it. And cool peFavorite Quotes:
Despite their advantages, rich people were rarely ever cool, though they spent huge amounts of money trying to achieve it. And cool people were rarely rich because they were lazy, and part of being cool is not giving a f*. But rich people and cool people often interact because each has what the other wants.
He thought laws were made for people who weren’t smart enough to figure out how to break them.
Alex could feel his hands shaking; it felt like his blood had been replaced by some poisonous liquid made out of a combination of self-hatred and shame.
... her only plan was not to make any plans. To sleep late and keep the workouts light and go to the movies and take long walks and eat a little more than she should and drink a little more than she should and allow herself the beauty of boredom, the joy of unproductivity, the pleasure of being still.
My Review:
I fell into this cleverly penned tale and found it evocatively detailed, cunningly paced, highly entertaining, and delightfully snarky. I do loves me some witty snark, and this crafty scribbler has been quite gifted and generous with sprinkling it throughout his characters’ encounters and inner musings. The characters themselves are reprehensible, selfish, snobbish, and deeply flawed; in other words, realistically depicted for most of the upper class. ...more
My mother has lived every one of her fifty-two years on this planet in the shadow of catastrophe, always thinking of the worst possiblFavorite Quotes:
My mother has lived every one of her fifty-two years on this planet in the shadow of catastrophe, always thinking of the worst possible case scenario and making sure we’re all aware of it.
These rich women are all the same: they need someone to tell them what to do or they’d never actually achieve anything, but they still want to feel superior to the mere minions who serve them.
It’s very easy to unalive wealthy men– they are so prone to an early death:
My Review:
I do loves me some clever snark and this book was laced together with the same delectable and sharply honed wit I reveled in with this nimble wordsmith’s previous offering of How to Slay at Work. The storylines were active, well-paced, and unpredictable. As in most families, many of the characters were various shades of vile, and no one was at all trustworthy or as they seemed on the surface. I adored it and look forward to this crafty scribbler’s next slay.
It’s been quite a few moons since I had an addition to my Brit Words and Phrases List but I found a fun one with hollibobs – which is what we Americans call a vacay....more
I’d made some observations after all the time I’d spent with my mother and Mrs. Haggerty over the last few weeks, and getting old seemFavorite Quotes:
I’d made some observations after all the time I’d spent with my mother and Mrs. Haggerty over the last few weeks, and getting old seemed a little like going through adolescence backward.
“Why won’t he keep his pants on?” my father asked. “Probably something to do with the apple and the tree.
He couldn’t get out of here fast enough. The guy laid enough rubber in the street to outfit the whole tire department at Costco.
A quiet two-year-old was rarely a good thing. Last time Zach had been alone and quiet in the bathroom, he’d been finger-painting the walls with his own poop.
‘He’s a really good cop!” Vero called out over the women as they started to argue. “The best! He’s like John McClane in Die Hard, but with better hair. And a lot more backup!”
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come. ...more
Darren was all clumsy hands and overly optimistic tongue. It was a little like playing Whac-A-Mole with a clingy octopus with boundaryFavorite Quotes:
Darren was all clumsy hands and overly optimistic tongue. It was a little like playing Whac-A-Mole with a clingy octopus with boundary issues. It was obvious he wasn’t keeping any big secrets in his pants.
Her mother was a tiny whirlwind. A five-foot-two-inch wrecking ball of unfiltered honesty and brutal determination. She was unstoppable, like the Terminator,
Javier Romero had the most disarming smile Vero had ever seen, but he could also turn bad assery into a full-time job.
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come. ...more
“A parley?” he said, rubbing his watering eyes. “Who do you think you are, Jack Sparrow? This isn’t Pirates of the Caribbean.”
I leanedFavorite Quotes:
“A parley?” he said, rubbing his watering eyes. “Who do you think you are, Jack Sparrow? This isn’t Pirates of the Caribbean.”
I leaned back against the wall between our rooms, sliding down it until I was sitting on the carpet. It was tacky and smelled like cigarettes and despair.
...that man has a very sexy voice. I think my panties are wet, and at my age, that’s really saying something. Put me on speaker.
Poker’s all about faking it, Finn. After eight years being married to Steven, you’ve got plenty of experience with that.
The woman pointed a long black fingernail at a chalkboard sign. PSYCHIC READINGS $ 25. PALM. TAROT. CRYSTAL BALL. “You want a reading?” she asked, affecting an accent that sounded a lot like my agent doing an impression of Count Chocula.
“There’s a very reasonable explanation for this,” I said calmly. “We just don’t know exactly what it is yet.”
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come. ...more
“The child is holding very still. I think he might be up to something.” I wrinkled my nose. Zach was definitely up to something. “He’sFavorite Quotes:
“The child is holding very still. I think he might be up to something.” I wrinkled my nose. Zach was definitely up to something. “He’s grunting and his face is turning red. I think he’s possessed.”
It was only a month into the new year, and I was throwing my third resolution into the fire like a cheap champagne flute.
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come....more
Not because I wanted to kill Steven. I mean, I did, I guess. Some days. Most days. Definitely whenever he opened his mouth.
My heart raFavorite Quotes:
Not because I wanted to kill Steven. I mean, I did, I guess. Some days. Most days. Definitely whenever he opened his mouth.
My heart raced as I ducked into the passenger side and locked the door. I stared at the dashboard, unable to form words. The exterior of the car was a giant phallus, and the interior looked like Darth Vader’s bathroom.
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come....more
Shame wasn’t a color that existed in Theresa’s wardrobe.
...certain things about motherhood had always eluded me, and cooking had been Favorite Quotes:
Shame wasn’t a color that existed in Theresa’s wardrobe.
...certain things about motherhood had always eluded me, and cooking had been one of them. Apparently, marriage had been the other.
My Review:
I gleefully bounced in my chair and frequently laughed aloud while I inhaled this amusing and cleverly penned series. I loved every well-chosen arrangement of words. Elle Cosimano is absolutely brilliant, and her Finaly Donovan creation is a gift. Poor Finaly, she was a semi-successful writer who had an ex-husband who couldn’t keep it in his pants and a toddler who refused to keep his pants on, or toilet train. Finaly was a hot mess.
Her adventures started with an inadvertent slip of paper on a Panera tray, which eventually led her to helping various women living in difficult situations who were “seeking a specialist with a certain skill set.” Finaly didn’t actually have the skill set, but she and Vero, her ever helpful nanny, kept managing to accidentally kill bad people, some they were supposed to, others just had the bad luck to die in their vicinity.
The engaging storylines were active, eventful, smartly plotted, and populated with a colorful cast of oddly compelling characters, many of whom were unlikable, yet quirkily and knowingly drawn. I downed six in a row and finished the last one hoping there are more to come. ...more
So… Misty Dawkins… She got fat… See? That’s why I’m never having kids… You pop out some crotch fruit, and your hips and thighs stay doFavorite Quotes:
So… Misty Dawkins… She got fat… See? That’s why I’m never having kids… You pop out some crotch fruit, and your hips and thighs stay doughy until the end of time.
He’d lost so much weight, and the lack of hair and eyebrows only added to the frail appearance. He looked withered and gaunt. Like a tree that someone forgot to water.
His hulking figure looked, in this moment, very apelike. Between his oddly animal posture and the unkempt beard crawling so high on his cheeks, Charlie couldn’t help but think of him as a man about halfway through the transition to werewolf.
It strikes me that a lot of us live in a sort of echo chamber these days. We surround ourselves with people who agree with us on everything— politics, art, entertainment.
But you don’t know what it was like growing up next door to him. He was like Bart Simpson. One time, he melted a hole in one of my Barbie dolls with a magnifying glass.
My Review:
This was a ripper of a series opener; I will be camping out on the authors’ pages to make sure I don’t miss the subsequent installments. I am hooked, ensnared, addicted, and infatuated with these clever and conniving wordsmiths as well as their oddly appealing and unusual quirky characters. I do loves me a kickass chick with clever snark, and this book had two.
The writing was easy to fall into with storylines that intrigued, beguiled, and taunted the little pea in my brain to immediately begin to conjure theories. I was so smug in believing I had easily solved the case with my initial suspect being the villain. But, nooooo. These wily authors had outmaneuvered me and I had fallen for their trickery. How have I not read these prolific scribblers before? They seem to be like potato chips as now that I’ve had a taste of their salty goodness, I must have more. ...more
Memories grew out of the darkness; their quick growing webs crossing my path so I walked into them unawares and felt their skeins acroFavorite Quotes:
Memories grew out of the darkness; their quick growing webs crossing my path so I walked into them unawares and felt their skeins across my face.
I see the energy in people and how it goes up and down, how they can be empty or full like a glass of milk.
I hated thinking of the nights I’d spent eviscerating her around the kitchen table with my friends, my mouth stitching bitter shapes as I talked.
The dollars spill out of the cut-out Bible. We can’t even close the cover. Dorothy tucks away the spare ones underneath her pillow, then pats the top of the pillow, like she’s putting babies to bed.
My Review:
I was enthralled, engrossed, and mesmerized by Ms. Hamer’s taut and atmospheric writing style. I was immediately pulled into this gripping tale which seemed to have planted deep hooks into my gray matter that did not release until well after I reached the final page. I’m still musing over the expert craft, insightful observations, complicated characters, and intricate ancillary details that added color and sound for an additional bonus layer of interest. The storyline was intense and intriguing with a consistently maintained and thrumming sense of heaviness. I am in awe of Ms. Hamer’s textual agility and am eager to instantly dive into her next book, The Doll Funeral. ...more
“There was something in the way she pronounced his name that made all the hairs on his body stand up. It felt like she had opened up tFavorite Quotes:
“There was something in the way she pronounced his name that made all the hairs on his body stand up. It felt like she had opened up the door to a place deep within him. It simultaneously frightened and calmed him.”
“You’re a man easy to fall in love with but a hard one to love,”
“Because since the day I saw you, you’ve always been mine.”
My Review:
After struggling though such a disturbing and frustrating read, only to be left with a heinous cliffhanger - I am beyond angry! I am foaming at the mouth and stomping my little foot! Ack! I wish I had never picked up this book… I fear I will not be about to sleep well for quite some time. Unless you enjoy dark, atmospheric and mysterious plots, taut with tension and seriously twisted, sadistic, and tight lipped characters who are full of secrets and only speak in half-truths and only give part of the story... and are seriously confused and conflicted – back away. There was not one character I could like or care for, yet I must admit, the story was as mesmerizing as it was twisted. Many of us have driven by a bad accident and felt an agonizing pull and were not able to look away, but as the ugly memory continued to haunt, echo and rattle the brain for several days causing you to really wish you had never looked or even driven down that street – well, it’s like that. It’s a train wreck… that made me itch… yet I couldn’t put it down. I need to drink of bottle of wine… or ten… ...more