len ❀'s Reviews > Honeymoon for One

“All those years when I was depressed… I really hated myself sometimes. And I finally came to terms with everything, and I felt a lot better. I did. But now? I’ve never been this confident. No matter what happens, I’m a stronger man now because of you.”

After hearing some pretty devastating news of my life, this was the escape I truly needed. Maybe staying up till 5 am wasn’t the best choice, though…

One day before their marriage, Ethan comes home to find his soon-to-be husband having sex with his best friend. Torn between the two, he doesn’t want to give up on his life and the dream he promised himself and his mother. So, he packs up and decides to head to Australia, where he and his now ex-fiancé, Michael, were set to go to. Alone, heartbroken, and scared, Ethan finds comfort and trust in one of the tour guides, Clayton Kelly, who shows Ethan kindness and care. Unlike many other people, Clay doesn’t show impatience and anger towards Ethan’s deafness, treats him with respect, and offers friendship. As the two grow closer within a week, Ethan begins growing fond of the older man who offered him solace, and Clay starts questioning his own feelings.

Personally, I love reading books about characters with disabilities. I love seeing the growth and being a part of the journey they come towards accepting and embracing without shame. While Ethan had already accepted his deafness, my heart still broke for him on many occasions. His diagnosis came to him late, so adjusting to a completely new system has been difficult for him to get used to. It mentally affected him, which made him depressed and caused him to isolate himself from his friends and family. With his parents gone at a young age, Ethan relied on his best friend, Todd, and partner, Michael. After their betrayal, Ethan has no one and having to deal with multiple infrequencies only made it more difficult.

However, seeing his embracement was still refreshing. Ethan's easily felt his emotions, and I sympathized with him right from the beginning. It’s saddening to see how realistic his experience is—having to apologize for not listening, having people talk to him like he’s a child, having to ask people to slow down or repeat themselves only for them to wave it off. I loved how the author wrote his character. He felt so real and never doubtful, cheery on some occasions while angry and sad other times. However, I couldn’t blame him for how he felt. Having Australia to escape to for a little while was the perfect time he needed to forget it all. I was glad to see how slowly he started to forget about Michael and Todd and not let them bother him too much in his inner thoughts.

On the other hand, Clay was extremely supportive of Ethan regarding his deafness, and it was beautiful. He never waved Ethan off, always repeated himself in a manner where Ethan could understand, made sure he was comfortable, and even went as far as copying down the guide notes for Ethan so he could follow along in case he couldn’t head everything. It was truly heartwarming. He was also caring and soft, and his love slowly started showing in his actions. Not only when he copied his notes down, but how he was never embarrassed by Ethan, how he went out of his way to find batteries for his hearing aids, how he made sure people treated him like a normal human being, how he bought him a hat, held his bag, and took time out his work to spend with him.

He stared at Ethan—at this brave, beautiful man who had burst into Clay’s life and changed it forever. Clay hadn’t even known how lost he was, but being found was more profound than he ever could have imagined.

Along with that, Clay had difficulty with his identity for a bit, but it wasn’t something that took over the story or made his character difficult. It was because he was unsure of his sexual orientation. After all, he had been hiding and rejecting it for years now without realizing it. From what we learn about him, his father was homophobic, and when he was young, Clay experienced a moment in his life that scarred him for life. He was afraid of that happening to him. Now at 44, there were many new things within the community he wasn’t aware changed so much, such as how the word queer has been embraced and how many different sexual orientations had been discovered. He was never rude about it or anything, which I was thankful for. He was accepting of Ethan and his sexual orientation from the get-go. Ethan was able to help him come to terms with himself and his identity, one he never realized he was hiding because he was scared. While Clay felt a little ashamed at first and thought he was doing something wrong, it later became something he accepted and realized is part of him that he can’t change.

Clay’s identity exploration connects with the romance, which I felt to be developed nicely. While it only took a week (yes, I know this isn’t enough time for many, but it worked well for me!), I was able to connect with the feelings of both characters because of how much interaction there was. For Ethan, it started as a crush, whereas for Clay, it was entire confusion. However, they spent a lot of time together and learned a lot about each other, making their relationship much more believable. I appreciated being told what they had done because it was easy to imagine how easy it was for them to get along.

“It’s just you and me here. Nothing else matters right now.”

There’s an age gap between Ethan and Clay, which is one of my favorite tropes. No matter what the book is about, an age gap always gets to me. However, one of the best parts about this is how the age difference isn’t a big deal. The characters actually act their age without it being an issue. Ethan is still figuring life out, and after one of his worst heartbreaks, he decides to continue living life for himself. On the other hand, Clay wants to stay home, watch the footy, and drink a beer. He’s not interested in pursuing the women in dating sites his daughter sends him or going out on different adventures. His life consists of work, sports, beer, Gilly the dog, and his two children, Sam and Pete. Meeting Ethan allowed him to explore a little more in his own way. But, adding on to that, one of my favorite parts about this was how, after Clay realized he loved Ethan and that he, in fact, is gay, he let Ethan know, which completely skipped the unnecessary break-up scene (even though they were never truly together). Clay’s realization led to his confession, and it made their relationship stronger. While they dealt with long-distance for a while, they managed it, and it was done because there was communication.

My favorite word.

At least in romance books.

There isn’t enough communication in romance books, and it doesn’t matter if it’s mm, ff, or mf. I’ve read too many where the two characters are hopelessly in love with each other. Still, because they don’t admit it, it leads to drama or a break-up, only for the book to end with a reunion, apology, and then realizing they can’t live without each other. It’s boring.

However, Keira Andrews took a different and healthier route and decided to make the epiphany before the book ended, making the couple's love grow.

“Well, I’m not sure about the rest of it, but I know I’m not straight. Because I’ve never fancied anyone the way I do you. I don’t want to date other people. Not those women on Sam’s websites, or any other blokes. You’re the one.”

There’s almost no drama in this. Besides the drama at the beginning, with Michael, Todd, and Ethan, every friend and family member accepted Ethan and Clay. While Ethan’s parents aren’t alive, we know they were accepting of his sexual orientation. When Clay came out to his ex-wife and children, it took a while for them to wrap their heads around it, but they also didn’t create any fuzz or make a big deal out of it. Instead, it was angst and drama-free and light-hearted.

My love for age gap romances continues growing, and I’ve come to realize that Keira Andrews writes almost only age gaps. So don’t mind me if you see me binge reading all her books.

“My knight in shining armor.”