Ten Inch Hero

Tish: [Priestly calls Tish] Beach City Grill. Subs by the inch.

Priestly: Code blue. Hostile territory. Aborting mission.

Tish: Who is this?

Priestly: It's your Renaissance Man. I'm at the store, there's too many enemy tampons. I'm bailing.

Tish: Alright, stay focused. Describe the situation.

Priestly: Initial recon appears to be bag or box?

Tish: Box.

Priestly: Box. Roger that.

Tish: Alright, look around chest height. Do you see anything marked regular?

Priestly: Okay, regular. Uh, here's one but it says slender regular. How can something be both slender and regular? Isn't that mutually exclusive?

Tish: Priestly...

Priestly: Unless, of course they're implying in the mysterious underworld of Femboxes that slender is regular.

Tish: Priestly. Are you done?

Priestly: Well, what about the Super Pluses?

Tish: No.

Priestly: Why not? They sound like better.

Tish: Don't. They're huge.

Priestly: I thought you liked huge.

Tish: This is one area where bigger is not better.

Priestly: Yeah, well shouldn't you buy all the protection you can get?

[looks at the side of the box]

Priestly: I mean, it says here it can handle any amount of- Oh my god!

[throw the box in disgust]