SIMIAN CONQUEST 2016

If you haven't heard, the original PLANET OF THE APES film (1968) will be back in certain theatres tomorrow, Sunday the 24th, and again Wednesday the 27th. Check your local listings!

The title of this post references an obscure PLANET OF THE APES-themed RPG from the Holmes Basic-era, 1978's SIMIAN CONQUEST. Read more about it here on Dragonsfoot.

 

Holmes' Harryhausen Tribute

The Giant Crab by Ray Harryhausen from Mysterious Island (1961)

Ray Harryhausen's special effects for the 1961 movie adaptation of Jules Verne's novel Mysterious Island include a spectacular battle with a stop-motion giant crab, which can be
watched in its entirety here on TCM. Now compare this with two other giant crabs appearing in the writings of J. Eric Holmes:

Room L in the Sample Dungeon in the Basic Set rulebook (1977):
"L — Another cave with the river running through it. There is phosphorescent fungus growing on the rocks, so anyone can see without lights. There are east and west entrances on both sides of the river to the sandy beach. The river is only 3-4 feet deep at the center of the channel and can be forded.

There is a giant crab concealed under the sand on the south beach. It will attack anything that moves on either beach. It runs 60 feet in 1 turn, in armor class 3 (plate mail), and takes 2 hit dice (8 hit points). It strikes with its giant claws one at a time as fast as a man" (pg 43)

Excerpt from "Dark Water", Chapter 2 of Maze of Peril (1986):
"The beach heaved and crumbled under Boinger's feet. The sand spilled away as a broad, blue carapace rose up on six armored legs. Boinger staggered backward as as great claw passed over his head. The great beast crashed over the startled little adventurer and up the beach, where the two mercenaries and the dwarf swung futilely as it went by. The claw scattered like an oversized nut cracker, swooped at Zereth who dropped flat on the sand, and backed Murray against the wall.

"Ooop!" cried the magician, swatting the crustacean across the eye-stalks with his staff.

The others rushed to attack the monster's rear, only to find that the tough armor turned their blows with ease. 

"The joints," called Bardan, "go for the joints of his legs!"

Boinger swung two handed at a leg as the crab began to turn, had the satisfaction of feeling his blade bite deep into the limb, heard the exoskeleton crack as he twisted his sword loose. The creature stumbled as the adventurers attacked its other limbs. Finally, after several tries, the dwarf got a jab with his spear past the guarding claw and into the softer mouth parts just under the carapace. The brute collapsed, was rolled over, and the legs hacked off to keep it from righting itself.

"Thank you for the help, I guess," Murray mumbled as he got to his feet and brushed the wet sand from his robe. "I wish you could have been a little less forceful."

"Didn't have time to," the elf replied, and turned to walk down to the new boat.

"You know," said the halfling, poking the still twitching stumps of the giant crab with his sword, "this stuff would be really tasty steamed or roasted. Why don't we build a small fire and cook up a few legs?"

"Fire, you idiot?" cried the mage. "Do you want to bring every monsters in the place down upon us? We can't go around building fires all over the beach. You're not having a little picnic outing back home, you know. We're in the middle of enemy territory!"

"Well, I guess you're right," Boinger agreed reluctantly. "We haven't any melted butter, anway..." (pg 17)

The giant crab had appeared previously in OD&D, Vol 3, as part of the "Special Suggestions for Monsters for Naval Adventures" (pg 34-35). However, Holmes specifically references two key details from the Harryhausen sequence: hiding the sand, and eating the crab.

And for my tribute to Harryhausen, here's a full entry for the giant crab for Holmes Basic:

Giant Crab

Move: 60 feet/turn
Hit Dice: 2
Armor Class: 2
Treasure Type: nil
Alignment: nil
Attacks: 2
Damage: 2-12 each

Rumored to be originally created by the mad sorcerer Nemo, these enormous bright orange crustaceans now lurk everywhere near bodies of water in the underworld. They conceal their garish shells with sand, bursting forth to attack anything of smaller size that moves (surprise on 1-4 in 6). They attack twice per round, once with each of their black-tipped claws. They do not keep treasure but their tough shell can be fashioned into orange armor equivalent to plate mail +1 (AC 2) by an armorer of the highest skill for 1,000 gp. Reported to be delicious if cooked.

The Giant Gila Monster

Poster for the 1959 film "The Giant Gila Monster" directed by Ray Kellogg

Above is a poster for a 1950's monster movie, The Giant Gila Monster, which may have served as inspiration for Dr. Holmes for a D&D monster. I haven't seen the movie yet, but there's a MST3K version on Netflix which I've added to my queue.

On page 38 of Holmes' 1981 book Fantasy Role-Playing Games there's an untitled dungeon map which we have been calling the "Halls of the Lizard King" based on a key feature. It's just part of a dungeon level, and there's no corresponding text describing the dungeon, but the map itself provides descriptive names for many of the rooms and features. Notably there's a colossal cave housing a "Giant Gila Monster". According to the Wikipedia entry, the monster in the movie is about 70' long, and which is similar in size to the creature on the Holmes map. If the squares are 10' each as on another map in the book, the monster is at least 100' long:

Detail of Holmes' map showing the 100'+ monster

This map likely came from Holmes' own campaign. Since we unfortunately don't have any other information on his version of the monster, I've written up my own take on it for Holmes Basic. Hit Dice are extremely high since Purple Worms are 50' long and have 15 HD. The poison breath is inspired by an Apache legend, and the healing properties of their skin from Sonoran Indian legends.
 
Giant Gila Monster

Move: 30 feet/turn
Hit Dice: 20
Armor Class: 3
Treasure Type: see below
Alignment: neutral
Attacks: 1 bite
Damage: 3-18 points

Enormous burrow-dwelling predatory lizards, up to 100’ long when fully grown. Their breath is so foul that all creatures in a thirty-foot radius must save versus poison each round or take 1d6 points of damage. They are slow-moving but bite quickly, and will grip their victim tightly, inflicting 3d6 points of damage per round. Even worse, their salivary glands secrete a toxin that requires a save versus poison each round to avoid taking an additional 2d6 points of damage from pain. They do not hoard treasure but their hide is valuable (1d6 x 10,000 gp) for two reasons. The hide has regenerative properties; ingesting a portion will restore 1 extra hit point at the end of the day, and magic-users can use it to brew healing potions. Furthermore, the tough, beaded skin can also be used to make colorful armor equivalent to plate mail but light as leather armor.

Edit: Revised 1/17 to add properties of hide.

Avengers as Adventuring Party

MHAC2 AVENGERS Assembled! (1984) for the MSH RPG by TSR

     I saw the new Avengers movie Friday afternoon, deliberately in non-3D, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd seen the two Iron Man movies but not Cap or Thor (yet).

During the battling I started thinking of the Avengers in the movie as an adventuring party:

Captain America: Paladin
Hulk: Berserker Were-creature

Thor: Cleric (non-edged weapon, power of the gods)
Hawkeye: Ranger
Black Widow: Thief or Assassin
Iron Man: F/M-U (magic missiles & flying, but also wears armor)

Holmes' review of Merritt's Burn Witch Burn!

     Earlier today, James at Grognardia wrote, as part of his Open Friday column, that "today is the 128th anniversary of the birth of Abraham Merritt, the early 20th century pulp writer admired by both H.P. Lovecraft and Gary Gygax" and "During his lifetime, he was a highly successful and well-paid journalist and editor and several of his stories (Seven Footsteps to Satan and Burn Witch Burn!) were made into motion pictures. Nowadays, though, his name is barely known, let alone lauded, which is frankly a pity, as Merritt's best work is indeed worthy". James later followed up that the movie version of Burn Witch Burn! is called The Devil-Doll, rather than the movie Burn Witch Burn, which is instead based on a Leiber story.

     Later in the day I remembered that J. Eric Holmes reviewed Burn Witch Burn/Creep Shadow Creep on Amazon in 2002. It's his only fantasy review there, and just about the last thing I've found that he wrote in public. He gets the movie right as Barrymore is in The Devil-Doll (1936).

      Holmes' review of BWB/CSC on Amazon:

      "Merrit wrote spooky fantasy for Argosy Magazine in the 1920-1930s. Fans argue endlessly about which is his best. These stories are pretty good. (Shadow is a sort of sequel to Burn Witch Burn.) The evil old witch makes lifelike dolls that come to life and kill people. She is brought down by a rational doctor and a superstitious Mafia boss. Made into a movie with Lionel Barrymore as the witch (really!). Strong stuff for the time it was written."

     I've read Merritt's Dwellers in the Mirage and Face in the Abyss, which are each "lost world" adventure stories with elements of horror. I would recommend them to anyone that likes Haggard, Burroughs, Howard or Lovecraft, particularly Dwellers, which I liked the best of the two. I have yet to read BWB! or CSC!.

Anonymous

    Saw Anonymous last night, the new "Who's the Real Shakespeare?" movie, and enjoyed it thoroughly. I don't believe the theories, but they make for an entertaining story, and they push them to the limit in this one. Lots of polearms, too.