EC Comics! It's An Entertaining Comic! Issue 62

The EC Reign Month by Month 1950-1956
62: June 1955 Part I

Frazetta

Weird Science-Fantasy 29

"The Chosen One" ★★★
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Wally Wood

"Vicious Circle" ★★
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Al Williamson

"Genesis" ★★★1/2
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Reed Crandall

"Adam Link in Business" ★★
Story by Eando Binder and Al Feldstein
Art by Joe Orlando

Professor Henry Fuller believes his young son is a mutant, a super-intelligent being created by Fuller's job as a professor, working on an atomic pile at Alamagordo (sic). His son, Bobby, walks at six months, speaks at a year, and seems to be able to read the newspaper at age two. Bobby can even read the mind of the puppy Henry brings him to try to warm up the little cold fish. But nothing seems to help the kid become a normal kid. Then, one night, a spaceship lands in Henry's yard and two aliens emerge to explain to Fuller they've come for the little freak. Henry explains that he loves his son and refuses to give him up but the aliens pass right by him and head upstairs. Henry gets his handgun but does nothing as the space travelers walk past him, bearing "The Chosen One." The next morning, Bobby wakes up and asks his dad what's become of Spot and dad just smiles, happy that it was the puppy, and not his boy, who's the super-freak. I gotta admit that, even though nine times out ten (especially with these later SF tales), I can spot the O. Henry a mile away, I never saw this one coming. Al does a great job hiding the twist until the last possible second without cheating at all (Henry's suspicions all come down to being a worry-wart, just like his wife said).

David mourns his dead friend, John, in a far future where man has become savage again and lives in caves. When David seeks the truth about John's execution by tribal leaders, he is told by a wise old man that John defied tribal laws that exist to prevent another Armageddon. After the old man narrates a long story of World War III and what destroyed mankind, David begins to understand; his pal was put to death for creating a machine and machines led to the end of life. The young man asks his mentor if he can see this machine and, soon, David sees his first wheel, a "Vicious Circle"! What seemed awfully fresh and clever five years before seems a tad more preachy and cliched by 1955. At least Carl reveals fairly quickly that we're looking at a future race of man rather than Neanderthals and Williamson's art is always perfect for this sub-genre.

Uh oh . . . does that mean these two
will . . . um . . .

Mankind has become sterile and its only hope is to immigrate to the radiation-free planet, Mars. One man travels to the red planet with other scouts and immediately falls in love with it, returning soon after with the first batch of immigrants. Unfortunately, after Mars is colonized, scientists discover that man is also sterile on other worlds and that life on Mars exists only because life forms split in two like amoebae. Faced with extinction, the vast majority of citizens head back to Earth to die off, leaving only one resident, our initial protagonist, who discovers, to his glee, that eventually even man would be affected by Mars's atmosphere and procreate. "Genesis" is a very literate and well-told story, one with a very bold finale and probably one of the last really good science fiction tales to come out of the EC factory. I can just imagine Wertham spitting out his gin and tonic after reading such an overtly homosexual climax.

Wonder-robot Adam Link is finally exonerated for the murder of his creator and allowed to live the carefree life of a genius. Bored and looking for something to do, the tin man opens a business consulting on scientific matters. All the money the business generates is donated to charity and life seems rosy until . . . gorgeous Kay Temple professes love for the man of nuts and bolts. Ordinarily, Adam would be popping his gyroscope in happiness but, it turns out, another man has eyes for the babelicious Ms. Temple and that man is none other than his best friend (and the man who got Adam off Death Row), reporter Jack Hall. Heart-broken but knowing it's for the best, Link lets Kay down easy and then exits stage left, off to a hidden sanctuary where no one can find him. The final issue of Weird Science-Fantasy brings the third and final Adam Link story, "Adam Link in Business," the best of the EC adaptations. Why is this one better than the previous two? Probably because its plot line is a bit outré and the script is more engaging. Why the adaptations stopped at the third one is anyone's guess but Joe and Otto will re-adapt the first three and contribute a further five to Warren's Creepy in the following decade. I'm not holding my breath that those versions will be any more captivating than these but we'll find out soon. As for Weird Science-Fantasy, the title was killed off after only seven issues, but EC SF continued with Incredible Science Fiction two months later. Not a bad issue to close the run. -Peter

Jack: You did not mention that fantastic Frazetta cover! It's good to see that Al Feldstein could still write such an effective story as "The Chosen One," in light of his crash and burn experience with Panic. Wally Wood's art in the science fiction books was always stunning and this story is no exception. Like you, Peter, I did not see the end coming. Williamson and Krenkel contribute more great art to "Vicious Circle," but Wessler's story seems like an attempt to imitate a Feldstein script and the twist did not excite me. The bar was set so high for art in the first two stories that Crandall's work in "Genesis" seems a tad rough and it's hard to imagine the fear of atomic energy and its consequences that seems to have gripped the American public in the 1950s. "Adam Link in Business" seems to come from a simpler time, a pre-atomic age of science fiction where stories like this were more common. Link reminds me of Superman (whose first appearance pre-dated that of Adam Link in the pulps) and the love story is far-fetched. Joe Orlando's art doesn't help and in some places, resembles his terrible work for Panic.

Davis

Impact 2

"Mother Knows Best" 1/2★
Story by Al Feldstein (?)
Art by Reed Crandall

"Divorce" 0 (yes, zero!)
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Jack Davis

"The Suit"★★
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Graham Ingels

"Paid in Full" ★★
Story by Al Feldstein (?)
Art by Joe Orlando

Laura Hart has never been able to get along with her domineering, disapproving mother. Ever since she was little, her mother has chided her for her choices, be they hair styles or, later in life, men. Now, after hitting rock bottom and considering suicide, Laura has decided to see a shrink and, by the time the session has ended, Laura is cured and discovers her mother has always loved her and wants the best for her. Of course, it helps that Laura's head shrinker (off panel to us dimwits for the entire story until the last panel) is, suprize suprize suprize!, her mother! Save Reed Crandall's usual vital visuals, "Mother Knows Best" is a really dumb waste of time. Never mind that it's entirely unethical for a mother to see her kid as a patient, why would Laura agree to be dissected by the very person who has provided her with her suicidal vibes? Did Al (or whoever wrote this soap opera trash) think that hiding Dr. Mom off-panel would fool the reader? It's evident by the third panel what's going on here and the smell-o-vision rises from the page. It's not bad enough we're subjected to an entire title filled with psychoanalysis but we have to have overflow as well? Yecccch!

Poor little Jackie gets to go to Miami but where's his dad? Mom's acting all funny and stuff and then drags Jackie to a big building with a guy sitting behind a big desk wearing a big robe and . . . hey, there's Dad! But Mom pulls him away and then Mom and Dad go stand up in front of this guy known as "the judge" and say all kinds of nasty stuff to each other. Then Jackie goes with his Mom and Dad and the judge and a couple of stuffy old farts in suits to a back room where the judge tells Jackie that Mom and Dad don't love each other any more and they're getting a "Divorce"! It's all too much for a little boy like Jackie, so he runs away and hops a freight train to Jacksonville (well, he doesn't know he's going to Jax, silly, but that's where it takes him) until the train police save him from the pervy bum on board the boxcar. Then Jackie gets chased by a wild dog, has to drink water from a polluted creek, gets scared by lots of eyes in the forest, and gets run over by a truck. All's well, though, when Jackie wakes up and Mom and Dad are there to tell him they've made a big mistake and gotten back together for their little boy. Mom flashes her new diamond ring and Dad shows Jackie the new agreement that Mom signed to keep her away from Dad's pension. There are happy endings in the EC Universe! Psychoanalysis proved that EC could scrape the bottom of the barrel just as well as the other septic tank publishers and "Divorce" carries on that New Direction. Seriously, what could have been going through the minds of EC fans in 1955, after the previous half-decade of stunningly high quality, when they picked up Impact #2 and read the first two tales of nonsense after experiencing "Master Race" in the first issue?

Tailor Alfred Durley is a conscientious craftsman who takes pride in his work but, problem is, work is scarce these days. So, when Ralph and Karen Curtis come into Durley's shop with Karen's father, Julius, to have a suit fitted, Alfred sees this as a chance to spread the word that a Durley suit is one to be proud to own. The tailor sets about to make his finest achievement and when it's done, he has a neighborhood boy deliver it. At the last second, Durley realizes he hasn't sewn his label into the suit and rushes to the Curtis residence, only to find that "The Suit" was designed to be worn on Julius's corpse. The couple knew the old man's days were numbered and wanted him to look good in his final outfit. Though there's not a big surprise in the finale, it's refreshing to get a story with no villains, no hidden agenda, just a decently-told tale with some nice "Graham" graphics. Durley is a nice old man who only wants to craft his masterpiece in hopes that the job will open new doors for his business.

Martha Wilson has lost her husband, Walter, to pneumonia, but she has to listen to her shrewish sister, Helen, drone on about how the man ruined Martha's life by becoming a doctor and administering help to the poor. Martha continually pooh-poohs Helen's admonishment and explains that love was all that was needed for a wonderful life. They didn't need a car, they didn't need a nice house, they didn't need jewels or expensive clothes. In the end, all they needed was . . . the antibiotics that might have saved Walter's life, I guess. When Martha takes Helen out to Walter's pauper's grave, the snooty sis learns just how much the "trash" of the neighborhood loved Dr. Wilson when she sees his headstone. Another Elia Kazan-influenced six-pager filled with soap opera melodrama and corny dialogue that is saved a bit by its genuinely touching final panel. Yes, even a stodgy old grump like me can be touched now and then. Don't try giving me a whole issue of this stuff, though. -Peter

Jack: A terrible comic book! Even Reed Crandall can't be expected to bring "Mother Knows Best" to life--how many panels can the guy draw where a woman lies on an analyst's couch? "Divorce" is even worse and has no suspense at all. It was a relief to see Ghastly's art in the third story, though I guessed the finale by page three and I didn't buy for a second that skinny old Julius had a 38 1/2 inch waist, as Durley measures it. Finally, "Paid in Full" has no surprises and I found the ending hopelessly corny. I just don't enjoy Joe Orlando's art at this point in his career.

Kamen

Psychoanalysis 2

"Case 101 - Freddy Carter (Session 2)"★
"Case 102 - Ellen Lyman (Session 2)"★1/2
Story by Dan Keyes
Art by Jack Kamen

"Case 103 - Mark Stone (Session 2)★1/2
Story by Robert Bernstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"Freddy Carter" stole a watch from his pal Billy and then made sure he was caught. Why? To get back at his parents, of course! Freddy was sent to the psychiatrist, who saw through his psychosomatic asthma attack and told him that he would help him. The shrink helps Freddy realize that his behavior was a ploy for sympathy and he just needs to grow up.

The psychiatrist gets physical with Freddy

The second issue of Psychoanalysis is not off to a good start, with overly wordy panels and a nearly complete lack of conflict, action, plot--you name it. The shrink, who is not given a name, is a bit unorthodox (if you ask me) and grabs and yells at Freddy to straighten him out. Oddly enough, it seems that Freddy's father was right and Freddy is a big baby whose asthma attacks are fake, even if Freddy doesn't realize it. Maybe he just needed more tough love.

"Ellen Lyman" is the next patient. She recalls an episode from childhood when her father yelled at her for spilling ink on his desk at work. Then there was the time she overheard her parents arguing about money. And how about the time she fell in the lake? It seems that Ellen has always reacted to emotionally upsetting situations by unconsciously causing accidents that brought her attention. Oh, and she was also unwittingly sensing that her parents were not getting along, so she had accidents to draw them together in their concern for her.

No she hasn't!

This shrink is a real know-it-all. It's almost as if he knows the hidden reasons for everything before his patients do and can't wait to tell them! This story gets an extra half-star because Ellen is kind of cute with those glasses.

Why is "Mark Stone" sixty pounds overweight and dealing with stomach ulcers? The psychiatrist says that there must be some hidden reason. Mark recalls that his mother encouraged him to eat when he was a boy. Now, when things get tough, Mark eats to recall his happy childhood. But was it all that happy? Mark admits he was ashamed of his immigrant parents and his mother's foreign accent. Mark eats to atone for being embarrassed by his parents, hoping to please his mother now in the way she enjoyed when he was a boy.

Mark also has nightmares that stem back to a hunting accident in which he thinks he may have killed a stranger in the woods and then run away. The psychiatrist explains that Mark was really trying to kill his father (who had died two years before) in an Oedipal fit.

Got all that? Unlike the first two stories by Dan Keyes, Robert Bernstein's tale of tubby Mark Stone has more twists and turns than an amusement park ride. That doesn't make it interesting or entertaining, it's just hard to keep up!-Jack

Mark Stone's problem? He's fat!

Peter: Just in case you thought the first issue was all a bad dream, #2 proves otherwise. What's particularly amusing about this title is that "the psychiatrist" rips each of his patients a new one but, by each story's end, the poor fools love the guy and are seemingly cured. But the fact that the three stooges return for more sessions next issue indicates that either "the psychiatrist" is a quack or our hapless protagonists have lots of toys in their attics. The only upside to Psychoanalysis is that it draws Jack Kamen away from the other titles. In the end, #2 is number two. Oh, and by the way, you're not seeing things. That's a comics code seal on this and Impact #2; this was the first month that the CCA invaded EC Land. The invasion would not last very long before the rebels fought back.

So . . . it was my mother who ruined me with
her constant loving?

Next Week!
Will we finally learn the true identity of . . .
The Pirate?!

Time to get excited!

EC Comics! It's An Entertaining Comic! Issue 59

The EC Reign Month by Month 1950-1956
 59: April 1955, Part I

Davis

Impact #1

"Tough Cop" ★★ 1/2
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Reed Crandall

"The Diamond Pendant" ★★ 1/2
Story by Guy de Maupassant
Adaptation by Carl Wessler
Art by Graham Ingels

"The Dress" ★★  1/2
Story by Al Feldstein (?)
Art by George Evans

"Master Race" ★★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Bernie Krigstein

Detective Frank Monahan catches young Eddie Fuller trying to grab some cash from the open register drawer at a diner and plans to arrest him, but the boy's sob story leads Monahan to follow him home, where Mrs. Fuller lies in bed, gravely ill. Monahan calls an ambulance and the boy's mother is taken to the hospital. Monahan, who has a solid reputation as a "Tough Cop," then marches the boy right past the station house and takes him to his own home, where joins a group of other underprivileged boys the Monahans have taken in.

The disappointing ending of "Tough Cop"--
were they mocking the new Comics Code?

Carl Wessler tells this story in Guys and Dolls fashion, both in the captions and in the dialogue; he even tips the reader off to what he is doing in a caption on page two, where he writes that the diner is "crowded with guys and dolls." Crandall's art is decent, as usual, but the end of the story is an unwelcome twist.

Millie thought all the men were looking at
"The Diamond Pendant" . . .

Larry's boss invites him and his wife Millie to a New Year''s Eve party, so Millie borrows "The Diamond Pendant" from her wealthy friend Julia and is a hit at the soiree. She loses it on the way home and is so ashamed that she and her husband mortgage their future to pay for another one. They spend the decades that follow working like slaves to pay off the loan; Larry eventually dies and Millie becomes an old hag at 55. Finally paying off the loan, she confesses the truth to Julia, who is shocked and admits that the pendant was nothing but a cheap, paste imitation!

Guy de Maupassant was a great storyteller and I enjoyed this updating of his classic tale, though Ingels's art seems a bit too depressing for the subject matter. What was even more depressing was Millie's lament that, at age 55, she was in "life's twilight." That is particularly troubling to those of us born in 1963.

Jane keels over in "The Dress."

A young woman named Jane wants nothing more in life than to wear "The Dress" that used to belong to her grandmother, but her Aunt Agatha won't allow it. Martin Paulson, who lives upstairs, begins to think that Agatha delights in torturing Jane by refusing to let her wear the dress. He gets the other boarders to give Agatha the silent treatment, takes her to court, and finally breaks into the glass case where the dress is kept. Agatha bursts in and Jane is overcome by emotion and drops dead of a heart attack. Agatha finally reveals to Martin that the desire to wear the dress had been the only thing keeping Jane alive; the dress was so old that it would have fallen to dust if removed from its glass case.

Martin is such a busybody and Agatha is such a dolt! He should have just asked her what was going on and she should have confessed long ago. It would've saved everyone a lot of trouble and Jane would still be among us. Well, she'd be pretty old by now, but who knows?

One of many classic segments
from "Master Race."

Carl Reissman, former Nazi in command of the Belsen Concentration Camp, escaped from Europe after WWII and settled in New York City, afraid that one day his past would catch up with him. And so it does, in the form of a camp inmate who suddenly recognizes his former captor one day on an otherwise deserted subway car. Struck with fear, Reissman runs as the man pursues him, but the former Nazi's attempt at escape this time ends in tragedy as he falls beneath the wheels of a subway car.

"Master Race" is, of course, one of the all time classic EC stories, filled with powerful images and illustrated magnificently by Krigstein in cinematic style. It's impossible to put one's self back in the mindset of a reader in 1955, only ten years after the camps were liberated and the Nuremberg Trials held. How much of what is portrayed in this story was common knowledge then, and what was a story like this doing in a comic book, typically read by kids? Gaines, Feldstein, and Krigstein deserve a lot of credit for telling this shattering story and for doing it so well. That said, why did Jack Davis draw the cover?--Jack

Peter: After the hammer fell and the newly-devised CCA came into effect, outlawing the words "Terror" and "Horror" in all titles, Bill Gaines felt he had no choice but to retire his horror line. Though Shock SuspenStories didn't qualify as a horror title, its contents certainly crossed the line several times. Impact was obviously a reboot of Shock, featuring stories that would have fit comfortably within those covers. The standout is "Master Race," a story that has been the subject of perhaps more ink than any other EC story (aside from "Judgment Day") and yet isn't one that's usually brought up in conversation. That could be because it appeared post-New Trend or because it doesn't end with body parts in the deli window; who knows? It's a fabulously layered story, with more of those cinematic flashes Krigstein would show from time to time (the oncoming "steel monster," the commuters in the train's windows, the finale on the platform, etc.), and an effective twist ending that I suspected at first but then strayed from, only to have it thrown in my face. Oh, hell, he was the prison guard, not the new passenger! An interesting trivia note: "Master Race" was originally scheduled for Crime SuspenStories #26 (ergo the "falling man" cover) but Krigstein requested the 8-page length and so it was held back for a later issue.

Hey Kids! Comics!
("Master Race")

"Tough Cop!," with its contraction-free dialogue, is a weird, ultimately unsatisfying morality tale about perception. It would work if Monahan's personality turn-around weren't so unbelievably abrupt. And, speaking of morality tales, have you ever read anything as miserable as "The Diamond Pendant"? No, Millie doesn't take an axe and give Julia forty whacks (as she might have done in a Ghastly Crypt tale) but what is the moral here? That it's evil a woman should want to look a little good so her husband can advance in the world and raise them above the hellhole they've been consigned to? Maybe Wessler left out a few details from de Maupassant's original, but I fail to see much in the way of Millie's "pride, hunger, and envy for material things" on display. After such a great build-up chock full of suspense, I guess it was only natural that "The Dress" would have such a disappointing reveal (holy cow! the dress fell apart! now that's impact!) but at least we get some nice George Evans visuals to ease the pain.

Kamen

Psychoanalysis #1

"Freddy Carter: Session 1" 0 (yes, you read that right, zero)
"Ellen Lyman: Session 1" 0
Stories by Dan Keyes
Art by Jack Kamen

"Mark Stone: Session 1" 1/2★
Story by Robert Bernstein
Art by Jack Kamen

Troubled teenager "Freddy Carter" has been brought to "the psychiatrist" by his parents, who are at the end of their rope with the juvenile delinquent. Dad's tried everything . . . "bribes, threats, beatings, reason," but now the little fool has gone and done it . . . Freddy has stolen his best friend's watch! Mom, meanwhile, has done everything she can to bring up a lover, not a fighter, but her bullying husband keeps butting in and interrupting Freddy's poetry classes. "I'm a man and I want my son to be a man . . . not some effeminate drip, writing sonnets about ladies' eyebrows . . ." Fair enough, Pop wants Tom Brady, Mom wants Nureyev. But what does Freddy want and why did he snatch Billy's wristwatch? Well, those are a couple of really good questions. Our hero, "the psychiatrist," informs Freddy that the reason for the theft lies behind the fact that he doesn't get enough attention from Mom and Pop. Billy's parents are so cool and Billy's pa doesn't care that Billy wants to become a lumberjack rather than a quarterback. Billy's mom feels a boy should just do what he wants to do, even dress in girl's clothing if that's what floats his boat. "So, you see," says "the psychiatrist," "you didn't steal that watch, Freddy, you were trying to steal Billy's parents." Promising to unlock the "pretty terrific guy" who lives deep inside the budding psychopath, "the psychiatrist" tells Freddy his hour is up but he'll help him some more next issue. Now scram, ya crazy juvie!

Norman Bates's younger brother opens up.
("Freddy Carter: Session 1")

True enlightenment may come at a cost.
("Ellen Lyman: Session 1")

"Ellen Lyman" is having really bad migraine headaches so she's come to "the psychiatrist" for answers but all he seems to want to do is ask the girl about her bad dreams about Scotch gardeners and big gates and exams she can't possibly get 100% on and skeletons who lie around trees so how in the heck is she gonna get cured this way? Turns out all of Ellen's problems lie in the deep-seated hatred she has for her sister, who used to steal all the love from Mom and get all the best dresses and Ellen would only get the hand-me-downs because Mom and Dad had financial problems and all Ellen would get to play with was that nasty dirty white rabbit her sister threw away and what kind of toy is that anyway? So the doc says Ellen's headaches come from the fact that she wants to see her sister dead and after all what good would that do anyway since it wouldn't bring the dead bluebird back to life or get her the Duncans' beautiful garden next door so . . . well, the hour is up and Ellen will have to come back next issue.

Way too many sissies out there.
("Mark Stone: Session 1")

"Mark Stone" makes a bundle writing TV scripts but he's unhappy and waiting for the big heart attack that will kill him. He knows it's coming because all success stories end in heart attacks. Mark is so self-loathing that he can't go to the picture shows or the theater for fear of seeing true art and knowing, once again, that he's nothing but a hack. Then there's his horrible childhood, growing up Jewish and all with a demanding father and dodging rocks in an anti-Semitic neighborhood. It's enough to turn anyone into a highly-paid TV lackey. "The Psychiatrist" knows exactly what's at the root of Mark's problem but nine pages is just not enough to explain it so Mark will have to come back next issue.

I have a feeling this is going to be a rough four issues. I want to see the transcript of the office meeting where Al said to Bill, "I've got a great idea for a zine!" and Bill green-lit an entire title devoted to 1950s' problems solved by a nameless shrink. Oh, and let's have Jack Kamen (who, to be honest, is perfect for a waste of time like this) illustrate the entire run of the rag, as that will work up excitement among the dwindling fan base. Populated by cliches rather than characters and mostly scripted by (insanely enough) the guy who would go on to write Flowers for Algernon, can this get any worse? I've had to come up with a new "0" rating to help convey my true feelings for this swill. I'd love to be able to say this rating won't be trotted out again but alas...  The only thing that would have saved this experiment, for me, would have been a psychiatrist's postscript that told how the session really didn't work and Freddy later became one of those child-molesting sheriffs in Shock SuspenStories and Ellen was one of those swamp-molls who killed her husband and dumped him in the quicksand from Haunt of Fear and Mark became editor-in-chief of the New Direction titles. Instead, we'll have to put up with these insufferable stereotypes for another three issues. -Peter

Peter makes an appointment with the "psychiatrist"
when he discovers Psychoanalysis is not a one-shot.

Jack: Peter, when you talked me into this project, you did not tell me that I would have to read four issues of a comic book called Psychoanalysis and that they would all be drawn by Jack Kamen. Now that Jose has given up on us, we have no choice but to plod through these overly-wordy pages till we reach the end. The introductory page states that Mark Stone's story will take five "issue sessions," but since I think this comic is going to last only four issues, will we be forever left wondering  how the poor, tubby TV scribe will ever stop having chest pains? I have to admit that I found the analysis of Freddy Carter's problems kind of interesting, probably because I saw a bit of myself there. Ellen Lyman's tale perks up a bit with the dream sequence but that goes on too long. I thought sure that Duncan the next door neighbor would turn out to be the Scotch guard, but nope, they went in a New Direction. I am really excited for next issue!

Wood

Valor #1

"The Arena" ★★ 1/2
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Al Williamson and Angelo Torres

"Strategy" ★★ 1/2
Story Uncredited
Art by Bernie Krigstein

"Revolution" ★★ 1/2
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Graham Ingels

"The Return of King Arthur" ★★★
Story Uncredited
Art by Wally Wood



Gladiator Andronicus has a very important fan in "The Arena" to watch him best the other contenders, a gorgeous gal named Agrippina, a woman who happens to be married to the emperor, Titus Flavius. Agrippina uses her wifely charms to persuade her hubby that Andronicus is wasting his talents in the arena and should be a captain in Rome's greatest army. The emperor agrees and sends Andronicus to battle the Greeks, much to the chagrin of Agrippina. While battling, Andronicus meets and falls in love with a beautiful slave girl named Theta and they begin a steamy love affair. When Agrippina discovers her lover has strayed, she sentences Theta to death in the arena, where she will be torn to shreds by bulls and gorillas. Unable to dissuade Agrippina, Andronicus drops himself down into the pit to face death with his true love.

Andronicus discovers that love hurts.

The "Strategy" revealed.

Tasked with "taming" the "savages" of Haiti, the General finds his adversary more than able and, in the end, the General is tricked by a crafty "Strategy."

Thirteen years before the French "Revolution," young Claude Gaulois, son of a poor baker, finds himself in love with the daughter of Duke de Chambeaus, a cruel and tyrannical man who has no time for baker's sons. Claude's father, Pierre, works for the resistance in his off hours and finds his son's predilection for the child of his enemy to be distracting. Through the years, Pierre tries to talk sense into his stubborn son but to no avail; the boy cannot shake his love for the beautiful Nanon. When the Bastille falls, the aristocrats and their families are sentenced to death and Claude has no choice but to don a Zorro-like mask and save his love and her father. As their small boat sets off for London, the Duke praises Claude for his actions but reminds him he is only a baker's son and not fit to marry the daughter of royalty. Nanon reminds her pompous pop that he is no longer royal and that she'll court whomever she pleases.

Could the strange knight who has appeared throughout the countryside to wrong rights and free shackled men really be the famed King Arthur of Avalon? How could it be when Arthur had died there centuries before? Whoever this vision is, he's successful at raising an army of like-minded men as he travels from village to village. But once this King Arthur ascends to the throne, it becomes obvious he is only a fraud using the legend to obtain wealth and power. However, this "King Arthur" discovers that it's not wise to besmirch the name of a legend, even a dead one.

They say they want a "Revolution."

As Shock gave way to Impact, so Two-Fisted begat Valor, a war title that didn't advertise itself as a war title but as a funny book devoted to "mortal combat." For the most part, editor Feldstein did a good job laying claim to the talents of artists who had proven their combat mettle in Two-Fisted and Frontline (how Al ever thought Graham and Bernie were battle guys, I'll never know). I liked "The Arena" quite a bit. It's a lot like those big-budget Hollywood epics (Gladiator, Braveheart, etc.) that have a downbeat ending but somehow make you feel good about life! Not that Andronicus and Theta were feeling great about life in the panel following the finale! Wessler provides lots of great little historical details that I thought Andronicus surely must have been a real-life hero but it seems as though he might be a composite of several historical characters. As for the rest of the premiere issue, well, that's a mixed bag. "Strategy" has a great surprise but not-so-great art from Bernie, who is in full "Grandenetti-mode" here. Perhaps Bernie upped his game when he found something that challenged him or offered him an empty landscape. Similarly, Graham Ingels contributes his first bonafide success outside the horror genre with "Revolution," but the story left me a bit cold. On the flip side, I thought "The Return of King Arthur" was very clever and Wally contributes one of his typically detailed and stunning artjobs. So, I guess I would echo my misgivings at the onset of Piracy -- can Al find enough quality scripts to fill five issues of Valor? -Peter

Jack: The gorgeous art in "The Arena" carried me along and I thoroughly enjoyed this rousing tale of lust, love, and heroism in Ancient Rome. Krigstein's art in "Strategy" is fine, and the story was a satisfying one with a knockout surprise ending. It's no surprise, however, to see a black man victorious in a 1955 EC comic, hot on the heels of 1954's Supreme Court decision in Brown v. Board of Education! Ingels seems best-suited for period pieces, so "Revolution" works, but "The Return of King Arthur" is just historical enough to be a bit too confusing to enjoy completely, despite Wood's excellent art.

Feldstein

Weird Science-Fantasy #28

"The Inferiors" ★★★
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Wally Wood

"Lost in Space" ★★★
Story by Otto Binder
Art by Al Williamson, Angelo Torres, and Roy Krenkel

"Round Trip" ★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"The Trial of Adam Link" ★★★
Story by Eando Binder
Adaptation by Al Feldstein
Art by Joe Orlando

"The Inferiors"

A ship traveling through deep space lands on an Earth-like planet, hoping to find out what caused an ancient civilization to wipe itself out utterly. The spacemen find a helpful disc and projector and learn that the dead civilization reached the pinnacle of evolution and then began to go backwards. Knowing their fate, they agreed to kill themselves but allowed a handful of members of their race to live and travel to another planet, where they would breed, survive, and devolve until they reached the lowest rung on the evolutionary ladder. Of course, that planet was Earth, and the lowest rung is man.

While it's nice to read a Feldstein/Wood collaboration and enjoy the artwork in "The Inferiors," the story is rather predictable and there's little new to see here. Yes, man is violent. We get it. It was clever the first time but by the tenth  it's getting to be old hat.

Young Myra Van Dyke spends her days on Mars, pining away for her boyfriend Jim on Earth and whining to her father about wanting to go back to her beau. Dad tries to distract her with fun activities, such as hunting on a moon of Jupiter, but to no avail, and she escapes from him, buys a space cruiser, and rockets back toward Earth and her Jim. She is shocked to see no sign of Earth and thinks she has overshot the green planet and become "Lost in Space." Instead, she had never left her father and the trip was all in her addled mind. Her father tries to tell her once again that Earth and Jim were destroyed by a comet, but she cannot hear him and just keeps begging him to let her go back.

"Lost in Space"

Al Williamson's art is so beautiful that it hardly matters what story he's illustrating. This one is fairly good, though it is really little more than a story about a crazy teenage girl who wants to see her boyfriend and whines for pages on end.

Sixty-three year old dishwasher Henry Wilkens grew up wanting to go into space but never made anything of himself. His wife Ellie has never done anything but nag and now he's old and has no prospects. He must resign himself to being stuck on Mars.

Maybe someone can explain "Round Trip" to me? Is it really as simple as it seems--an old man never got to go into space and oh, by the way, he lives on Mars, not Earth? So?

"The Trial of Adam Link"

Adam Link, the intelligent robot last seen in "I, Robot," returns in "The Trial of Adam Link." Dr. Link's nephew Thomas is a lawyer determined the defend his uncle's robot. On the eve of trial, Adam saves two people from a burning building, but nobody witnesses his heroic act. During the trial, the prosecutor's case is too strong and, though Adam saves a young child from being run down in the street, the jury comes back with a guilty verdict and he is sentenced to die in the electric chair.

This is a fascinating story, simplified for the comics but still captivating, even with Joe Orlando's somewhat homely portrayals of the humans involved. Since we're near the end of our EC sci-fi run, I have a feeling the tale of the thoughtful robot ends here, but I'd like to see more.--Jack

"Round Trip"

Peter: "Lost in Space" could have used some of the excitement of the TV show. Who cares that Earth was destroyed by a comet? All I wanted was for Myra to stop that incessant whining ("sobbbb"). Raise your hand if you were surprised by the finale of "The Inferiors." Right . . . you, the one with his hand raised . . . you need to stay after class and re-read all the EC sci-fi stories. Obviously, Al Feldstein did. "Round Trip" is like a hundred other Jack Kamen-illustrated "bad marriage" stories with a Martian backdrop (big deal!) and "The Trial of Adam Link" is the second installment in the really bad robot series. Obviously, editor Al was looking to fill some pages with continuing series characters like those in Two-Fisted; I just wish he'd looked elsewhere.

Next Week . . .
Things are getting Weird!

ATTENTION!

Desperately needed for an upcoming project. If you have scans for the following Atlas comic books, or can make us a scan, please contact us:

Adventures Into Weird Worlds #1,4, and 23

Journey Into Unknown Worlds  #38 (3rd issue), 9, 10, and 48

Mystery Tales #4, 8, 11, 12, 21, 42, 43, 49, and 51

Mystic #13

Spellbound #14

Suspense #26 and 28

See your name in lights on this very website!

EC Comics! It's An Entertaining Comic! Issue 57

The EC Reign Month by Month 1950-1956
 57: February/March 1955, Part I

Davis

Tales from the Crypt #46

"Upon Reflection" ★★
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Jack Davis

"Blind Alleys" ★★★★
Story by William Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by George Evans

"Success Story" ★★
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Joe Orlando

"Tatter Up!" ★★ 1/2
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Graham Ingels

A werewolf is terrorizing Plainsville, but the townsfolk have not been watching any Lon Chaney Jr. movies lately and Mayor Hanson has to explain to them that silver bullets are required to rid the community of the foul fiend. When the next full moon comes around, everyone is ready. Mayor Hanson inspects his own house (?) and fires when he sees the werewolf, not realizing he's looking in a mirror. The rest of the rifle-toting townsfolk storm in and finish the mayor off.

Jack, you needed to hide the mayor's face better!
("Upon Reflection")

"Upon Reflection," the first story in Crypt of Terror #1, as the Crypt-Keeper calls it, is nothing new, and has all the hallmarks of a tired Carl Wessler script. The villagers complain to the mayor, blah blah blah, and in the end the mayor turns out to be the werewolf. I saw it coming a mile away. Unfortunately, Jack Davis was too lazy to draw the mayor from an angle that obscured his face, and when he's looking in the mirror he still looks human.

Gunner Grunwald is the director of a home for the blind, but the residents are the least of his concerns. In fact, he has let the home fall into ruin while enriching himself. The poor blind people suffer with rats, roaches, and rancid food while Gunner lives in luxury. No wonder he bought a vicious guard dog named Brutus to protect himself! Finally, enough is enough, and the blind revolt. First they capture Brutus and lock him in a basement room. Then they capture Gunner and lock him in a room next door to Brutus. For the next three days, they hammer and saw, building something mysterious while the dog goes crazy with hunger.

Peter gets dressed for another day at work.
("Blind Alleys")

Finally, Gunner is set free, only to walk into a maze whose wooden walls are lined with razor blades. No problem, thinks he, I'll just walk slowly and carefully and watch my step. But then, Brutus is released, and Gunner has to run for his life. And if that's not bad enough--the blind folks turn out the lights.

"Blind Alleys" is one of those EC stories I've been waiting for ever since we started this blog and, I'm happy to say, it doesn't disappoint on re-reading 40 or so years later. I remember it from the Big Book and from the movie, and it's no accident that it's a Gaines/Feldstein script rather than a Wessler script. Evans is the perfect choice to illustrate it and the last line is unforgettable: "And then some idiot turned out the lights!" This is one of the best revenge tales EC ever published and it belongs in the all-time top ten list of EC stories.

Recently married to a hot blonde, Elmer Preston can't believe his luck when her parents announce that they're giving the young couple $1000 as a down payment on a new house. Things are going well until Mom and Dad arrive on the doorstep and say they're broke and want to move in. It goes from bad to worse as they demand more and more from poor Elmer and soon even his wife joins in the never-ending litany of nagging and haranguing about why Elmer can't get ahead in the world. The poor sap finally snaps and cuts off their heads. When the police come and he tells his story, they marvel at the severed heads arranged in platters on the dining room table.

Got ahead... oh wait, *now* I get it!
("Success Story")

The high I got from the previous story was short-lived, as we're immediately brought back to Earth with another Wessler tale that goes from A to B to C with no surprises. "Success Story" is one of the most uninspired revenge tales we've read. Orlando's art is not appealing either, and the best I can say for this tepid tale is that they don't shy away from the ending, as things get pretty grisly with the cleaver attack and the heads on display.

Why would handsome, young Tony Barrett marry an old hag like Fanny Ogden? For her money, of course! A stranger told Tony that Fanny has $100 grand stashed away in her house and he's determined to find it. As the months go by, he is more and more repulsed by his wife, who spends much of her time gathering up rags to sell to the ragman who stops by on a daily basis. Tony finally has enough and murders his wife, burying her body in the basement. The ragman keeps coming and, when Tony runs out of rags to give him, the tattered fellow heads down to the basement and wants the clothes from Fanny's corpse. It turns out he was Fanny's lover but knew she needed a strong, young man for a husband, not a ragman.

Ghastly tries his best but this story is yet another retread of an old EC theme and the surprise ending makes no sense. "Tatter Up!" features the strange ragman who keeps coming to the door; since this is a Wessler story, you know he'll figure in the big finish. But what the heck? A man made out of rags? I don't get it. I liked DC's 1970s Ragman better.--Jack

Ragman... oh wait, *now* I get it!
("Tatter Up!")

Peter: Tales from the Crypt #46 is a milestone for several reasons, the most obvious being that it's the last horror comic EC ever published. Interestingly enough, #46 was originally assembled to be the premiere issue of a fourth horror title, The Crypt of Terror, before the horsemen of the Senate apocalypse rode into town; the intros were not even changed as Bill Gaines was in such a rush to get this thing out the door. It's also the last time we'll see Graham Ingels sign his name, "Ghastly" (from here on out, it's simply "Graham"). The final important note on my checklist belongs to "Blind Alleys," which is the last of the Amicus adaptations we'll get to on this journey. I have to say that I prefer the filmed version (found in Tales from the Crypt) to the original. The character of Gunner Grunwald (Major William Rogers in the film, played nicely by Nigel Patrick) in the comic version is a mean-spirited, sadistic sumbitch, almost laughably so, while screenwriter Milt Subotsky's take on the asylum director is more "human" (while retaining the penny-pinching side of the character), avoiding such silliness as tripping or dumping buckets of water on the heads of his charges. Subotsky gets it: you don't have to go Jerry Lewis on your audience to get them to hate this guy. Having said that, I still like the original quite a bit and it's certainly helped along by George Evans's art and that classic final line. "Success Story" is the perfect tale to serve up to someone if you want to show them what was going wrong with the line, dredging up bad plots and twists endlessly. "A-head! A-head!" Get it? Yeah, I got it halfway through the story when you pounded me over the head with it. "Upon Reflection" is also short on surprises (except, perhaps, the sight of a werewolf in a blue suit and cape). Funny that only Elwood Hanson's reflection looks like a werewolf! So what about that final Ghastly goodie? Ugh! "Tatter Up!" is yet another variation on the young man courting the rich old ugly woman, this time capped by a nonsensical climax (if the guy's made of rags and his hands are "soft and stringy-like," then how is he supposed to strangle Tony?).

Davis

Two-Fisted Tales #41

"Code of Honor!" ★★★ 1/2
Story and Art by John Severin

"Mau Mau!" ★★
Story Uncredited
Art by Bernie Krigstein

"Carl Akeley!" ★★★
Story and Art by Wally Wood

"Yellow!" ★★★ 1/2
Story and Art by George Evans


Stephen Ashley has made quite a name for himself among the South Carolina social elite but it's not necessarily for the good. Ashley is a marksman and takes advantage of his skill whenever a disagreement arises; the arrogant young man  issues challenges to duel as frequently as some change their bedsheets. His proclivity for "murder" (as some have called Ashley's hobby) has chased him from South Carolina to the friendlier streets of New Orleans, where Ashley seems to have gotten away from his bad habits. But a night out and a pretty maiden lead Stephen down that road one time too many. He challenges a Frenchman to a duel and discovers too late that, in New Orleans, the weapon of choice is the sword and Stephen's opposite is the deadliest swordsman in all of France! Though "Code of Honor!" is only six pages long, it's a fabulously constructed little gem, with a protagonist you can't wait to see run through and a nicely delivered surprise climax. Even faced with using a weapon unfamiliar to him, Stephen Ashley is such an egotistical SOB that he's completely confident he'll get the job done. Writer Severin's dialogue is rich with nuance and sounds so real, as in the exchange between Ashley and his latest prey, a pacifist named Brian, who has been asked his honest opinion of Ashley's reputation and delivers an honest answer, a conversation that dooms the innocent Brian:

Just some of John Severin's deep dialogue
from "Code of Honor!"

Ashley: Since there is no tribunal to do justice to a deeply wronged individual . . . must he then tamely submit to insult and disgrace or should he not resort to the first law of nature . . . of self-preservation?
Brian: Self-preservation? To me it is murder!
Ashley: Then sir, you are saying that I am a murderer?
Brian: Well . . . yes! I reckon I am!

Though the GCD lists John Severin as his own inker, I think he had some help; his lines are a little softer and rounder than usual (still great work). This here's the best story we've had in Two-Fisted since Harvey headed for MADder pastures.

Jungle picture director Merrill Quantock arrives in Nairobi to film his most exciting and authentic documentary yet, a study of the "Mau Mau!" tribe. To aid him. Quantock hires only the best, including big game hunter McBan and Mau Mau expert, Limuru. Once in the jungle, McBan hires a native named Hinga, who seems to be a whiz at fixing anything mechanical, but Limuru and Quantock believe Hinga to be a Mau Mau in disguise. The cameras roll and Limuru provides several natives for "set dressing," but it's soon revealed that it's Limuru, and not Hinga, that is the Mau Mau! Most everything Bernie Krigstein works on is a page-turner, but "Mau Mau!" is curiously dull and confusing. The twist is predictable and the secondary character of McBan doesn't serve much of a purpose other than to stand off to the side and look grim. Krigstein's work is cartoony (a la the similarly jungle-set stinker, "Numbskull," from Haunt #28) and far from the experimental style he excels at.

"Mau Mau!"

Wally!!!!

"Carl Akeley!" is an interesting and beautifully illustrated docu-drama about the noted early 20th-century taxidermist and adventurer who fought wild animals and lived to tell the tales (and then was struck down, ironically, by a malaria-carrying mosquito). As with many of Harvey's "lectures" in the early days of Two-Fisted, "Carl Akeley!" enlightens those of us who are ignorant in the ways of history and the men who shaped that history. Wally's work, especially the bull elephant sequence, is nothing short of thrilling. A change of pace in that there is not one line of dialogue, with the story being told only in captions and images.

World War I pilot Bill Stone is "Yellow!" and, at first, he couldn't care less if everyone knows it. But when comrade Curry makes a comment about one of the pilots being a coward, it raises Stone's hackles and he becomes an ace. After a particularly grueling mission wherein he saves Curry's bacon, Stone confronts his ally with the news that Curry's comment about cowardice turned Stone's entire demeanor around. Curry shocks Stone by confessing that he was actually talking about himself being the weak link!

The respected 24-issue run of Two-Fisted Tales comes to an end with "Yellow!," a well-written and nicely-illustrated tale that delivers quite the punch with its final line of dialogue.  It's a tribute to George Evans's story-telling abilities that the strength of "Yellow!" lies not in its aerial battles but in its quieter moments back at the base with the pilots and their rituals and fears. "Yellow!" is the perfect coming attraction for the debut of next month's "New Direction" title, Aces High, a comic that will prominently feature the talents of George Evans and carry on the spirit of TFT. --Peter

Jack: I found Kurtzman's editorial heartfelt and thought it interesting to read that so much research went into these stories. While I liked Severin's story, it seemed overly talky and oddly lacking in action and suspense, with an abrupt finish. Krigstein's story features some of his most straightforward art but the narrative is unengaging. Wood does excellent technical work but the story is kind of dry, like something from a Gold Key comic or the Sunday funnies page. Evans saves the best for last, as his rich air battle work lifts an excellent story into the air.

Wood

Weird Science-Fantasy #27

"Adaptability" ★★★★
Story by Otto Binder
Art by Wally Wood

"Close Shave" ★★★★
Story by Otto Binder
Art by Reed Crandall

"4th Degree" ★★
Story by William Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"I, Robot" ★★★
Story by Otto Binder
Art by Joe Orlando

For over 900 years, a giant ship has hurtled through space. It contains 556 men, women, and children--all that remains of the human race since Earth became uninhabitable. They have survived all these centuries in an environment where all of their needs are met by carefully tended machines. Now, as they approach the Earth-like planet of Procyon-5, excitement mounts at the prospect of finally living normal lives in the open air. The ship lands and the young people pour out of it, but the older ones are afraid to leave the safe environment that they have known for so long. Very soon, the young folks find that life in the real world can be uncomfortable and frightening, and they head back to the safety of the ship and blast off back into space.

A nice sequence by Wally Wood.
("Adaptability")

"Adaptability" is a fine science fiction tale that is made even better by gorgeous art by Wally Wood. Wood could draw any kind of story, but somehow the science fiction and fantasy ones seem to have piqued his interest and made him work harder to craft one brilliant page after another.

"Close Shave"

In the 25th century, handsome Jay Ellison tells his fiance, Vida Orkney, that he is unworthy of her hand in marriage. She thinks back to how they met, when he saved her from being run over by a speeding car, and how they fell in love, as she witnessed his brave acts of standing up to bullies in public. In this future society, Ganymedes are covered with fur and persecuted. Some have been engaging in a particularly "Close Shave" and passing as humans. Jay admits to Vida that he's a Ganymede and has been shaving down and hiding his true self from his beloved. She laughs and tells him she's also a Ganymede, so they can be wed. Later, when she's alone, she realizes that she must destroy the picture of her human parents so he never finds out she's lying.

Otto Binder writes some very wordy comic book stories, doesn't he? This and the one before it take a bit of time to read but are worth it. Reed Crandall is a superb comic artist and this story progresses nicely through its twists and turns until the final revelation. I like the depictions of the hairy Ganymedes, too.

A decent panel from our favorite punching bag.
("4th Degree")

In the year 2039, Val Draper is a romantic among humans who are devoted to the state. His girlfriend, scientist Andrea Coles, has invented a time machine and he convinces her to send him back to 1954, before the Atomic War destroyed all countries and the people were enslaved by the world government. Having heard enough, the doctor from 1954 reveals that there is no time machine and Val is still in 2039, where he was tricked into giving testimony against himself. He is taken outside and shot. Inside, Andrea reads one of his forbidden books from the past and weeps over the thought of a world where love existed.

Bill Gaines was surely smarting from the comic book witch hunt when he wrote this tract, which is overly preachy and lacks subtlety. For Gaines, the world of 1954, where people could not speak as freely as they could ten years before, was heading toward the world of 2039, as depicted in this story. He was right, of course, but the story is a dud and Kamen's art doesn't help.

Adam Link, a robot built and trained by Dr. Link, writes his memoirs, recalling how he was first given life and how he learned and retained knowledge. When Dr. Link is killed in a lab accident, the robot is blamed and hunted, much like the Frankenstein monster. In the end, he chooses to switch himself off rather than harm any humans.

"I, Robot"

Eando Binder's classic science fiction story, "I, Robot," is brought to life by Al Feldstein and Joe Orlando. Orlando's tendency to draw unpleasant or ugly humans is tamped down here by the need to draw the old scientist and the robot for most of the story's length. I enjoyed it and would like to have seen more pulp classics adapted by EC's staff.--Jack

Peter: I liked "Adaptability" a lot but think Otto should have ended it with the young folk having a hard time adapting to the new atmosphere and racing back to the ship like spoiled children (some things never change, do they); no need to throw germs and icky stuff in there as well. The hand is certainly heavy in "Close Shave" (I thought for sure that, in Vida's list of intolerances--"witch hunts . . . anti-semitism . . . racial intolerance . . ."--we'd get "Senate subcommittees," but no!) but the final panel double-twist is pretty clever. What's this? The return of Gaines and Feldstein? Time to celebrate? Hardly. "4th Degree" is a cliched snooze with perfectly matched art. Why does the "government" go to such extremes to fool Draper when all they had to do was execute him? I've never cared for Adam Link, in any of his incarnations, be it prose, comic, or TV show, and this version of "I, Robot" (the first adaptation, I believe) is no exception. There will be three adaptations over the next three issues, all illustrated by Joe Orlando. An interesting footnote (certainly more interesting than the story itself) is that Binder and Orlando re-teamed in the mid-1960s for a series of Link stories published in Warren's Creepy.

MAD #20

"Katchandhammer Kids!" ★★★ 1/2
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Will Elder

"Sound Effects!" ★★★ 1/2
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Wally Wood

"Paul Revere's Ride!" ★
Poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Adapted by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Jack Davis

"Cowboy!" ★★
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Jack Davis

Hans and Feetz, the so-called “Katchandhammer Kids”, are not unlike any other German child, fitted with a lust for violence and causeless retribution. Their target of choice is the buffoon Kapitan, who falls to prey to all manner of their intricate MacGyver-meets-Home Alone antics and deathtraps, including the use of a cat, a dog, a mule, an uncorked champagne bottle, and strategically-placed garbage to perpetuate the illusion that the Kapitan is a stinking drunk to an esteemed guest. The Kapitan responds in kind by whaling the ever-loving hell out of the two terrors, much to the chagrin of the Inspektor, who warns the Kapitan that brute force will only lead to more deviltry on the part of the kinder. Years later, it turns out the Inspektor’s words have rung true: now young men, Hans and Feetz have grown into a pair of honest-to-goodness cutthroat criminals!

We're two wild and crazy guys!
("Katchandhammer Kids!")

Like a number of comic strip parodies from previous issues of MAD, I’m not familiar with the source material here, but then again just as before that foreknowledge isn’t really necessary as Kurtzman and Elder are operating on their own bizarro wavelength here. My opinion of “Katchandhammer Kids” falls somewhere in the middle of Peter’s and Jack’s evaluations: I appreciate the gonzo and anything-goes nature of the humor—the chicken fat quotient runs especially high here—but the faux German dialect becomes a slog to get through at certain points and at times shortchanges the comedic punch. Overall, I certainly feel more cultured for having read it, though I suspect that that’s not really the effect the boys were going for.

"Sound Effects!"

Hey, kids! Dontcha just love those big ol’ gobbledy-gook “Sound Effects” that you find in your funny books? So striking and bold and all over the damn place! You hardly need any narrative exposition or dialogue to tell a story when you got sound effects on your side! And that’s just what Kurtzman and Wally Wood set out to do here, to rib-tickling effect. There’s really no way to synopsize this little bit of winking meta-humor; the glee lies in the reading. Suffice to say that the duo uses the boilerplate template of a detective noir to incorporate all manner of onomatopoeia and aural cues, whether they’re of the familiar variety (THUNK, BLAM, etc.) or of the never-knew-that-was-a-sound variety (BLEED, CRAWL, etc.). Only in MAD could one find a story like this, willing to break free from the mold EC had set for itself and just take part in some light anarchic goofery.

Hey, kids! Dontcha just love those long, boring poems your teachers force you to recite and suffer through in English class? Wouldn’t it be great if those poems were set to illustrations that could be considered humorous only by the broadest definition? Then have we got the funny book story for you! I can only imagine that Harvey Kurtzman kept returning to these poetry parodies because they were easy enough to use in order to fill out some six-page real estate; *none* of them have been up to the comedic standards of his other work, and they’ve *always* been the low point of whatever issue they appeared in. The same is true for “Paul Revere’s Ride”, which finds Jack Davis being forced presumably at musket-point to draw some “hilarious” panels of a pint-sized Revere chasing after his horse and stealing some chickens. I would’ve preferred that they just ran the original unabridged poem instead!

Oh man, here comes the milk out of my nose again!
("Paul Revere's Ride!")

Cowboys… helluva group of mythic American figures, ain’t they? Well myths are exactly what they are, as the final story so aptly (and repeatedly) tells us. Peter puts it pretty aptly down below; Kurtzman is ever-accurate with his historical facts, as always, but there just isn’t a lot of comedic mileage to be had from those facts, at least not in the way they’re presented here. The tale follows a similar “This is how we see it / this is how it really is” template as other MAD entries like “Book… Movie,” but the comparisons made in “Cowboy”, seeing as how they’re rooted in history, come across more as mildly horrifying than hysterical (“Cowboys would actually be lynched for that kind of behavior… HAR HAR HAR!”). It’s an oddball albeit generally inoffensive note to leave the issue on, and poor Jack Davis is left with the fuzzy end of the lollipop again.--Jose

Comedy!
("Cowboy!")

Peter: "Katchandhammer" is the latest KurtzElder classic, a strip so blatantly goofy it almost defies description. You keep waiting for the faux-German accents to drop off but, no, the lunacy continues right through the final panel (with even the page numbers getting in on the act). The intricately plotted gags are hilarious; KurtzElder's success at aping these strips is insanely funny. The same cannot be said about the rest of the issue ("Cowboy!" is spot-on with its dissection of the myths but that doesn't make it funny), which is about as funny as putting on the evening news. Still, if KurtzElder can keep their train moving down the tracks, that guarantees at least a handful of guffaws every issue.

Jack: As I slogged through these four stories, I began to wonder if there's much benefit to re-reading Mad 63 years after it was first published. You do have to hand it to Kurtzman for having the nerve to write that whole first story in pidgin German, but that doesn't make it fun to read. The cover is brilliant and I could see bored kids poring over every "German" word balloon in class, but do we have to as well? "Sound Effects!" was my favorite story this time out, both for the Wood art and the private eye theme. It struck me that it's not that different from one of those 2018 comics with little dialogue or narration. The last two stories are more Jack Davis than I can handle in a single sitting. Neither one is funny, and Kurtzman is leaning awfully hard on the theme of comparing artifice to reality.

 Was für seltsame Unsinnigkeiten diese sein?
Ich muss lachen mein Arsch ab!
("Katchandhammer Kids!")

Next Week in
Star Spangled #130 . . .
Just how good is Alex Toth?