Namesakes #69: The Crusaders

What's the greatest double act in history? Sonny & Cher? Peters & Lee? Chaka Demus & Pliers?

Surely it must be Religion and War, that inseparable dynamic duo who enjoyed their greatest hits during The Crusades, religious wars that began in the 11th century... and are still going on in one form or another today.

Calling your band The Crusaders therefore comes with quite a bit of baggage. Not that this stopped any of these guys...

THE CRUSADERS #1

Joe Sample, Wilton Felder and Nesbert "Stix" Hooper started playing together in 1954 as The Swingsters. In 1960, they moved from Texas to LA and became The Jazz Crusaders, though they dropped the J-word in the early 70s in order to reach a wider audience, which they did in 1979 with their crossover hit Street LIfe, featuring Randy Crawford on vocals. They stuck around in one form or another until 2010. Drummer Stix Hooper is the only surviving member of the original line-up.

I decided to go with the 11 minute version, 'specially for George...  

THE CRUSADERS #2

Next up, an early 60s soul act from California. You'll be disappointed to learn, I'm sure, that this isn't a prototype for that famous Cher song.

THE CRUSADERS #3

Ohio surf band (Ohio is not on the coast, though it does border on Lake Eerie, so maybe they went surfing there) from 1964. The first band of Roger Troutman, who would go on to become a George Clinton protégé and a big name in the 80s funk scene, both solo and as part of the band Zapp. His work was often sampled by West Coast hip hop acts... probably not this track though. 

THE CRUSADERS #4

Southern Californian God-Botherers (the first of many) from 1966. Also known as The Love Exchange. Which sounds a bit icky to me.

THE CRUSADERS #5

Another religious group from Illinois who released a number of albums in the 60s and 70s, and also collaborated with Lowell Mason, "The Singing Midget". And that is why I do this feature.

Jerry Reed does a great version of that song.

THE CRUSADERS #6

Garage rockers from Nebraska in 1967 with a song title that proved sadly prophetic for the rest of their career.

THE CRUSADERS #7

A lost gem of Philly soul from 1969...

THE CRUSADERS #8

From Church Hill, Tennessee in 1970 comes another religious group. I could only find a link to the full album, I'm afraid. Still...

"It is their hope that this recording will present many hours of listening pleasure, and that you will receive as great a blessing from listening as they receive from singing them."

There were probably about 150 other religious groups I could have included in this feature, but I'm not going to. Every US State had at least three, it seems. Just be satisfied in knowing that I listened to every one and chose the very best for your delectation.

THE CRUSADERS #9

A change of pace now with some Aussie punks from the 90s who liked to dress up as your actual Crusaders. What's not to love?

THE CRUSADERS #11

Spanish Oi! band from about 10 years ago...

CRUSADERS #12

And finally, some German Oi! from around the same time...

Twelve different Crusaders to choose from... but which will you worship? Choose well, or the soldiers will be round to speak to you.

Celebrity Jukebox #96: Jerry Springer

I should have featured the former Mayor of Cincinnati on the Celebrity Jukebox following his untimely demise back in April... but it seemed like too big a task. The name Jerry Springer has become synonymous with a certain kind of lowest common denominator trash TV, so it's an easy shorthand for songwriters to drop in if they want to diss the worst elements of society, the ones happy to air their soiled undergarments and then have a big ruck in front of millions, thereby fulfilling Andy Warhol's 15 minutes prophecy. But I think there was more to Jerry than all that - he started out as an adviser to Robert F. Kennedy, before becoming a lawyer and then a major public figure... he even considered running for President. And let's face it, he couldn't have done a worse job than the Orange Manchild. As for his notorious TV show, Jerry clearly had a sense of humour about the whole thing (unlike his loathsome UK counterpart, Jeremy Kyle), happy to join in when others were poking fun at it (and him), most notably in Richard Thomas & Stewart Lee's hilarious Jerry Springer: The Opera.

Here are some tunes which do the same thing...

Weird Al Yankovic - Jerry Springer

Let's face it, if you've reached the point where Weird Al does a song about you, immortality is guaranteed. Likewise another great Jerry...

Jerry Reed - The Jerry Springer Show

Even Polish rappers love him!

Guzior - Jerry Springer

Speaking of rappers, here's a guy who could easily have been a recurring guest on Jerry's show...

I strangle you to death then I choke you again
And break your fucking legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef with me, I'mma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally

Eminem - Role Model

"Partner is the "mature" effort of two best friends named Josée Caron and Lucy Niles. Together, with Rock as their trusty guide, they explore a variety of themes in an attempt to understand the meaning of life." Which must be one of the worst artist biogs I've ever read. Shame really, because they make a spendid racket, and tell cool stories too...

When I was a kid
I used to fake sick
Luckily, my mom and dad were
Pretty easy to trick

I was biding my time
Until the house was all mine
To do the one thing I really wanted to

Which was watching daytime TV
While there's no one home to watch me
I'm hanging out with Maury
He's doing a paternity test
Are you the father? Well, it's anybody's guess
And give me Jerry Springer
Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, and a TV dinner
I guess the best things in life come free
Like watching daytime TV

Partner - Daytime TV

Bret Michaels was the lead singer of Poison. Despite that, this made me chuckle...

One day Jack came over to apologize
He told me, my ex which is his new girlfriend was out every night
Jack said I think she's been cheating with my new friend Jim
Say you love her too bad cause now she loves him
Pulled a Jerry Springer on me now your outta luck
My new girlfriend thinks you all suck

Bret Michaels - Bittersweet

And here's someone who always makes me chuckle...

When you find out things about yourself
That you hadn't ought to know
When your grandma calls and books you
On the Jerry Springer show
And you find out you and your wife of ten years
Just might be related
Brother, life's not over it's just
Simply complicated

Jimmy Buffet - Simply Complicated

Did you know that Nik Kershaw is still in the go? Oh yes he is...

And very soon, before you know
You'll be "Jilted Romeo"
On some day time T.V. show
Like Jerry Springer's

Nik Kershaw - All Is Fair

There were many, many, many more lyrical mentions of Jerry Springer... but I'm trying to be a little more selective and only link to the ones I like, or I figure one of you guys might dig. Like this little beauty...

Eliza Carthy - Blood On My Boots

Today's winning tune comes from a band I was very into around the turn of the Millennium. Hard to believe it's nearly 25 years since this was released. It's a song in which the lead singer professes his love for the actress Claire Danes, named after the TV show that made her famous (though it also mentions her star-making turn opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo & Juliet).

I went on Jerry Springer
To confess my love to you
You said I didn't have a chance
And there was nothing I could do
You told me I was crazy
And wished that I was dead.
You threw a chair right upside my head

Snapshots #247: A Top Ten Bear Songs

If you can't bear the suspense any longer... here are yesterday's bear-faced answers...

10. This drives one crazy!

"Drives one" is an anagram. The artist in question was also famous for his truck-driver-themed hits. Of which this, his only UK chart entry, is surely his worst. I mean, I like a mawkish talky CB-flavoured country tune as much as anyone, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.

 #4 in 1981 though... those of you who were old enough to be buying records in that year, I blame you. I was only 9, so nobody can blame me.

Red Sovine - Teddy Bear

Also, it's hard not to listen to that all the way through without wondering if Operation Yewtree were forced to investigate...

9. Half a sugar creates desire.

Tate & Lyle make sugar. Half of that is Lyle... and you'll love it!

Now this is how to write a country song about bears! What a tune!

Lyle Lovett - Bears

8. Goodbye Lucille touched the button to get things going. 

Goodbye Lucille is a song about Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...

If you pushed that button, you probably pressed 'on'.

Johnny Preston - Running Bear

7. Hard rock from Scottish cow and Fab Mum.

A Scottish cow is an Aberdeen Angus.

A Fab Mum would be Julia Lennon.

 A hard rock is a stone.

Angus & Julia Stone - Grizzly Bear

6. In sleep, initially.

In sleep, you can find the initials EP.

Elvis Presley - (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear

Not my favourite Elvis song by any stretch, but it's still a damn sight better than Red Sovine's Teddy Bear.

5. Going to Hell.

The Damned - Edward The Bear

4. Found in horrid Elvis song.

HorRID Elvis song.

Ride - Polar Bear

3. German cane.

Same as a Gerry reed.

Jerry Reed - The Preacher & The Bear

2. Thorny Jam Fetish.

Anagram!

Father John Misty - I Love You, Honeybear

1. The cost of a partridge is fixed.

In this shop, the Alan Price is set.

The Alan Price Set - Simon Smith & His Amazing Dancing Bear

(Written by Randy Newman, but Alan made it his own.)

I expect you back here next Saturday morning, with marmalade sandwiches... or you'll get a hard stare.

Saturday Snapshots #178: A Top Ten Guitar Songs

That wasn't too difficult, was it?

A TOP TEN GUITAR SONGS

(If you wonder why I call these lists A Top Ten... rather than THE Top Ten..., it's because there are some songs I have to leave out to avoid too much artist repetition. Like...

Bruce Springsteen - House Of A Thousand Guitars

or

Magnetic Fields - Acoustic Guitar

 ...for just two examples.)

Anyway, these are the guitar songs I ended up with following an exhaustive selection process...

10. The best ale will really scramble your brain.

"The best ale" unscrambled is...

The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps 

9. Room for treating dried up grass in mason's house.

A room for treating dried grass would be a Hay-ward. Masons live in a Lodge.

Justin Hayward & John Lodge - Blue Guitar

8. Boston girl meets fortune teller who can't read.

Boston sang about Amanda.

A palm reader without the read would be A Palm-er.

Amanda Palmer - Guitar Hero

7. Godard, Hitchcock, Scorsese... Tarantino?

They're all directors who may or may not be considered auteurs.

The Auteurs - American Guitars 

6. A nobleman, like a Scottish monarch.

A nobleman would be an Earl.

A Scottish Monarch might be a Mc-Queen... just like Steve McQueen.

Steve Earle - Guitar Town

5. I get mixed up in a casual windmill.

"Casual windmill" with an extra I mixed into it leaves you with an anagram for...

Lucinda Williams - Real Live Bleeding Fingers And Broken Guitar Strings

Or you could have had this John Denver cover...

Lucinda Williams - This Old Guitar

4. Dead cockneys.

"Brown bread" is Cockney rhyming slang for dead.

Bread - Guitar Man 

3. German clarinet?

A Gerry reed instrument?

Jerry Reed - Guitar Man

2. Bill or Hal? (The latter, not so much these days.)

William and Harry are both Princes... although Harry is in question at the moment.

Prince - Guitar

(If you need a reminder of what a great guitarist Prince was, click that link.)

1. Boastful goat.

Still as blisteringly exciting as when I first heard it...

"The time that it takes to make a baby

Could be the time it takes to make a cup of tea..."

You old romantic, Bill...

More next week!

Cover Me Monday #6: Guitar Man

I didn't discover that Jerry Reed wrote Guitar Man until recently. Before I became a fan of his back catalogue, I only really knew Reed from his role as Cledus "Snowman" Snow in Smokey & The Bandit (for which he also wrote and sung the theme tune, East Bound & Down). As well as being an actor, Reed was a successful singer and guitarist, but he arguably found the most mainstream success as a songwriter, scoring hits for Elvis and Johnny Cash, among others. Let's face it, once Elvis has had hits with a couple of your tunes. life probably becomes a lot easier.

Here's Jerry's original version of Guitar Man.

And here's Elvis's version, the one most people recognise.

My first exposure to the song was in the early 90s though, when it was included on a charity compilation of Elvis covers released by the NME, called The Last Temptation of Elvis. There are some mighty fine covers on this two disc set, including The Pogues doing Got A Lot O'Livin' To Do, Fuzzbox with Trouble and You're So Square by The Primitives. The set leads off with Bruce's version of Viva Las Vegas, which is OK... but I always preferred the ZZ Top cover.

However, my favourite track on that compilation was the Jesus & Mary Chain doing Guitar Man. An unusual choice for the band in question, since it's such an upbeat song with a real pop tune... unlike most of their own material. They make it typically JAMC though - lots of feedback! - and while I'm not saying it's better than Elvis or Jerry... it's definitely a contender.

Saturday Snapshots #87 - The Answers

If you got All Shook Up by yesterday's quiz, don't go Crying In The Chapel this Sunday morning. Here's a little Peace In The Valley instead... the answers!

Rain led to a low turn-out yesterday morning, but Lynchie nabbed the early, easy ones. Maybe this quiz is getting too difficult. Maybe it's run its course. Not far from 100... perhaps I'll retire it with the century.

In the meantime... a quick trot through the answers this week with A Little Less Conversation than usual as I'm too tired to write loads.

10. Played by Dexys' error... so good they named him twice.

When Dexys appeared on Top of the Pops singing Jackie Wilson Said, they had a huge picture of Jocky Wilson behind them. Various stories about how this happened - a mistake on the part of the production team or (more likely) Kevin Rowland's wicked sense of humour.

Anyway, Jocky Wilson was a darts player.

New York, New York was so good they named it twice, according to Gerard Kenny.

Darts - The Boy From New York City

9. Steve Rogers & Johnny Storm.

One I discovered via The Vinyl Villain... though you have to know your comics characters to get the clues. (They changed their name to Eugenius after this release to avoid getting sued by Marvel.)

Steve Rogers is Captain America.

Johnny Storm is the Human Torch. His catch phrase is "Flame On!"

Captain America - Flame On!

8. Mother Walrus meets ex-Kennedy for wet fun.

John Lennon was the Walrus. His mum was Julia.

Jaqueline Kennedy became Jackie O after she was widowed.

Julia Jaclyn - Pool Party

7. Tin Tin's useless investigators give away their identity.

C correctly identified that the gent in the centre of this pic wasn't actually Joe Leeway from The Thompson Twins, but Eddie Grant. My bad, with apologies to all concerned.

The Thompson Twins were named after bumbling detectives in the Tin Tin comics.

The Thompson Twins - We Are Detective

(I planned this post weeks ago... a weird coincidence then that this song featured here in a different post just a couple of days ago.)

6. Chimp spreads fertiliser on Russian park while getting down to Whitesnake.

Gorky Park.

A zygote is the cell formed by the fertilisation of two gametes. Obviously.

A mynci sounds like a monkey.

Whitesnake were dismissed in the 80s as poodle rockers because of hair like this...

Gorkys Zygotic Mynci - Poodle Rockin'

5. Scottish saint / mouse enjoys the sunshine.

Mungo was a Scottish saint, apparently.

Jerry was a mouse.

Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime

4. Part of 5, partner of one of 9... coming from the north west.

Jerry was part of #5.

One of Johnny (#9) Storm's partners in the Fantastic Four was Reed Richards.

Jerry Reed - Eastbound & Down

3. Hell rises... it's not me.

"Hell rises" was an anagram.

The Shirelles - Baby, It's You

2. Sound like they're Riders on the Storm... on the best mixtape you ever made.

As I've written about previously, Dawes are a pretty good band... with a very silly name, considering that they sound exactly the far more famous group from the 60s led by Jim Morrison.

Dawes - All Your Favourite Bands

1. No charge... OK at this time?

Easy, right?



Don't Cry, Daddy - Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.

Late To The Party: Alligator Songs

When you've been compiling Top Ten song lists as long as I have (7 years here, another 4 or 5 on the old blog), you often find yourself discovering new (or old) songs which you really should have included in Top Tens you wrote ages ago.


I thought I'd start an occasional series shining a spotlight on some of those... starting with this little gem from Jerry Reed, which would have been guaranteed the Number One position in My Top Ten Alligator Songs back in 2017... had I known of its existence back then.


I've been listening to Jerry Reed a lot lately and he's really put a smile on my face through the cold winter months. Hopefully this song will do the same for you on a dreary Monday morning...

My Top Ten 2018 Discoveries

My final countdown of songs I listened to in 2018... regular features will return next week. Here's a bunch of tracks and artists I only discovered last year, even though the recordings were (mostly) made much earlier.


10. Deer Tick - Miss K.

One that Charity Chic turned me onto. They remind me of the Drive-By Truckers at times, although apparently they prefer to be labelled rock rather than country-rock. Further investigation required...

9. Creep Show - Modern Parenting

A John Grant side-project which was actually released this year so I should have included it elsewhere, but who's going to hold me account? Only very recently discovered this, but it's John Grant, so I'm digging it a lot.

8. Freebo - She Loves My Dog More Than Me

A former member of Bonnie Raitt's band and a popular session musician, Freebo has released 5 solo albums over the last 20 years. This is from his most recent, 2015's If Not Now, When. Best way to describe this? Fun.

7. Jesse Colin Young - Ridgetop

I'll admit this here and probably never mention it again, 2018 was the year I finally gave in to streaming. It won't stop me buying records (when I can afford them), but it seemed to be cutting my nose off to spite my face to deprive myself of all that music when 80% of the rest of the world were doing it. It also allowed me to check out some records by artists who have been on my list for donkey's years, but I've never had enough money to get to them. Jesse Colin Young was the lead singer of 60s band The Youngbloods, but his solo 70s output produced some real gems, including this delightfully misanthropic ode to getting out of the city, with shades of Steely Dan.

6. DMA - Believe

Contemporary Australian indie band who are making a name for themselves as Britpop-revivalists. Not 100% sure about their own material, which at times sounds like a more melodic, much-less annoying Oasis, but their live cover of Cher's Believe reinvents that track - minus the dodgy vocoder - to wonderful effect.

5. John Stewart - California Bloodlines

Former member of 60s folkies The Kingston Trio... and the man who wrote Daydream Believer, which surely grants him immortality... Stewart went on to enjoy a successful career as a singer songwriter (with a voice not a million miles from Johnny Cash at times) in the 70s. This is the title track from his 1969 solo album debut, which I listened to a lot this year. Much more to investigate though...

4. The Strumbellas - Young & Wild

Canadian folk-country, slightly reminiscent of Mumford & Sons before they forgot how to write tunes. Their 2016 album Hope comes highly recommended if you like this track.

3. William Bell - Mississippi Arkansas Bridge

I didn't discover William Bell this year. I've had a collection of his 60s Stax soul songs for ages and it includes some classic tunes, including the timeless I Forgot To Be Your Lover, A Tribute To A King (about Otis Redding) and his duet with Judy Clay, Private Number.

What I didn't know was that Bell was still making music, and that in 2016 he'd returned to Stax to record a new album, This Is Where I Live. I'm glad I discovered it this year... because it's a belter.

2. Lucero - Went Looking For Warren Zevon's Los Angeles

Lucero describe themselves as "a country-punk rock band" from Memphis. They're also big Warren Zevon fans. What else do you need?

1. Jerry Reed - The Preacher & The Bear

Even though I was familiar with his theme tunes to the Smokey & The Bandit movies, I reckon I knew Jerry Reed better as an actor than a singer. I think it was Lynchie who recommended I dig a little deeper into his recording career, and I'm so glad I did. Beyond the fact that Reed wrote a couple of my favourite songs - Elvis's Guitar Man and Johnny Cash's A Thing Called Love - there's a rich seam of material to tap into in his back catalogue. Warm, witty country rock that presents Reed as a very likeable performer indeed. If you're not smiling by the end of The Preacher & The Bear, I recommend getting your zygomaticus major checked out.

My Top Ten Burt Reynolds Songs

Time-pressured this week due to the new college year chaos, but I did want to pay tribute to another hero of my childhood who passed last week. Here's ten tunes for Burt...

10. Sammy Kershaw - Cadillac Style

Well, I ain't Burt Reynolds and I ain't Tom Selleck;
I got bills up the pike and my car's an old relic

9. Heatwave - Boogie Nights

Burt's great "comeback" role of the 90s.

8. Gretchen Wilson - Trucker Man

He's got nineteen on the CB
Well they call him the Bandit
Cause he only breaks for the Smokies

7. Ray Stevens - The Cannonball Run

6. Warren Zevon - Sacrificial Lambs

Smokey and the Bandit
And Saddam Hussein
Were staying up late
And acting insane

5. Jerry Reed - Eastbound & Down

4. Don Williams - If Hollywood Don't Need You (Honey I Still Do)

Oh, and if you see Burt Reynolds would you shake his hand for me
And tell ol' Burt I've seen all his movies
Well, I hope you make for big time, I hope your dreams come true
But if Hollywood don't need you, honey, I still do

3. Lee Majors - The Unknown Stuntman

Any excuse to play this!

I might fall from a tall Building, so Burt Reynolds don't get hurt
I might leap a mighty Canyon, so he can kiss and flirt
While that smooth talker's kissing my girl - I'm just kissing dirt
Yes, I'm the lonely stuntman, that made a lover out of Burt

2. Duelling Banjos

Squeal like a pig, boy!

1. Bruce Springsteen - Cadillac Ranch

James Dean in that mercury '49
Junior Johnson runnin' through the woods of Carolina
Even Burt Reynolds in that black Trans Am
All gonna meet down at the Cadillac ranch

I wonder if they threw old Burt's body in the back and drove him to the junkyard in his Cadillac?



RIP, Burt.