Snapshots #345: A Top Ten Fishing Tackle Songs

Yesterday, I left you fishing for the identities of the ten top tuna makers below. Did you catch them all... or was there one that got away?

10. Blake's gang wear plates to show they're still taking lessons. 

Blake's 7 wearing L-plates...

L7 - Packing A Rod

9. Gordon's alive! (But only 25%.)

Flash... but only a quarter.

Quarterflash - Love Without A Net (You Keep Falling)

8. Regicidal Mac meets Loot-making Joe.

Macbeth killed a king. Joe Orton wrote Loot.

Beth Orton - Worms

7. Michael Ne, Fred Eagle, Ron Sex.

Mike Nesmith, Fred Eaglesmith, Ron Sexsmith...

Here's the full photo...

The Smiths - Reel Around The Fountain

6. BB King on the bus.

Blues Traveler - The Hook

5. They sound a bit like the First Lady of the United States.

The First Lady of the United States is the FLOTUS. These guys are...

The Floaters - Float On

4. Nasty drug and those who indulge.

Amyl & The Sniffers - Maggot

3. Drink cake - it'll help you unwind!

"Drink cake" was a rather obvious anagram...

Nick Drake - Fly

2. Boo! went Richard, when his cake was left out in the rain.

Betty Boo meets Richard 'McArthur Park' Harris...

Betty Harris - Hook Line 'n' Sinker

1. Don't mess with their Toot Toot. 

Toot is probably the shortest anagram I've ever dared...

Toto - Hold The Line

A handful of runners up, left over in the tackle box...

The Little Hands of Asphalt - Bait

Peter Gabriel - The Family & The Fishing Net

Beautiful South - The Lure Of The Sea

And if you're after really big fish...

The Jayhawks - Broken Harpoon

Catch more Snapshots next Saturday.

The List #1

In 1992, INXS released their best album, Welcome To Wherever You Are. It contains the somewhat prescient song, Not Enough Time. When I hear this song in my head, it goes "Not enough time for all that I want to do" (although the actual lyrics are slightly different). Those lyrics pop into my head more and more frequently as the clock ticks ever onward... in a similar fashion to the way the lyrics to We Have All The Time In The World fill my mind whenever I'm in a rush to get somewhere and I find myself stuck behind a Louis. 

I sometimes wonder if I like too much music. If I'd be better off if my tastes were more niche and not so varied. Because there really is NOT ENOUGH TIME to listen to everything I want to listen to. Every time I visit the tube of you, a new band pops up demanding my attention. On first listen, a lot of them sound intriguing... like this lot, who may well be of some interest to Martin...

Brigitte Calls Me Baby appear to be the latest in a long, long, long line of bands who want to sound like The Smiths. But how many of those ever made it big? Suede? Gene? (Not really.) The Killers? (As soon as they did, they stopped trying to sound like The Smiths.) 

Lead singer Wes Leavins (with his enormous Morrissey quiff) claims to be more influenced by Sinatra, Orbison and Presley... ✔, ✔, ✔... but it's The Smiths I hear (and see) in the videos above and below... and that's why they're on the list.

Brigitte Calls Me Baby - Impressively Average

"The List." 

Often, when I hear a song I like on another blog, I'll leave a comment saying "That's going on the list." Similarly, when I hear something interesting on the radio. Like this little beauty from Irish singer-songwriter Ultan Conlon...

I like the folky atmosphere on that, and the idea that if we don't keep the old songs alive (whether they be Raglan Road or Girls Just Wanna Have Fun), they'll fade from our collective consciousness. I used to enjoy listening to the late Desmond Carrington on Radio 2. He'd play a really diverse mix of music, some of it old and forgotten from the 30s, 40s or 50s, alongside more recent or well known choices. I heard things on his show I'd never heard before on the radio, and probably never will again. 

As Ultan puts it...

Who's gonna play the old songs when all the old-timers are gone?

Here's an old song I've been playing a lot lately...

See? It's all too much, isn't it? Imagine if I just liked indie music, or rock, or old soul, or country and Americana... if I specialised in power pop or new wave or gentle, acoustic singer-songwritery stuff. Then I'd be able to focus. I'd be able to concentrate on one thing and enjoy it for what it is and not always be worrying about finding the next new thing... or the next old thing... in the hope it might hit me like a chaise longue or gradually unveil its beauty over a half dozen listens like the best of Jason Isbell.

Jason Isbell - Cast Iron Skillet

But I don't just like one thing. I like all kinds of different things, and being able to switch genres and keep it fresh is essential in my listening. But then I also like digging back into the archives too. Except when do I have the time? I mentioned at the top of the page that Welcome To Wherever You Are is the best album INXS ever made. And yet I'm making that assessment safe in the knowledge that I haven't listened to it all the way through in 30 years. But The List keeps growing, and it's growing from all sides. New things, old things that are new to me, old things that I know but I haven't listened to in ages... and on and on and on...

Take that lot, for instance. Life are from Hull. Let's not hold that against them, because on the evidence of the track above... they're excellent. Bear in mind that they released that two years ago and this is the first time I've come across them, but they already appear to have released three albums. What if they're all as good as that song? I ought to drop everything else this instance and devote the next three weeks to familiarising myself with their back catalogue... but I haven't got the time because I also have to check out these guys...

L.A. Edwards come from... erm, Los Angeles... although the LA doesn't stand for what you think - it's lead singer Luke Andrew's initials. They supported Lucinda Williams last weekend and as soon as I heard them, I knew I wanted to hear more. So they've gone on The List.

L.A. Edwards - Good Luck

There's so much music out there waiting to be discovered, it's a truly daunting prospect. Because what if I never hear that one song that changes my life forever? It's out there somewhere, I know it is. That's why I have The List...

L7 - Shitlist

Double Vision - List 99

The Go-Gos - Girl Of 100 Lists

Toby Keith - My List

Los Campesinos! - My Year In Lists

The Boxmasters - Shit List

Snapshots #213: A Top Ten Monster Songs

Who better to help us fight off the Monsters on Halloween than the ultimate Final Girl, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Here are the monstrous answers...

10. Works by itself.

The Automatic - Monster

9. A president's brother meets a prime minister on the fence.

(Yes, he does look like Alan Titchmarsh.)

Bobby Kennedy meets Boris de Pfeffel on the picket fence.

Bobby Boris Pickett & The Crypt Kicker 5 - Monster Mash

8. Elton and Tommy join Arthur in a Mysterious World.

Elton John & Tommy Cooper join Arthur C. Clarke.

John Cooper-Clarke - (I Married a) Monster from Outer Space

7. Stalks.

The Stems - She's A Monster

6. Together they make a square.

L7 - Monster

5. Mixed up Cluedo contestants.

Professor Plum meets Reverend Green.

Professor Green - Monster

4. There's a definite buzz about these guys.

Voice of the Beehive - Monsters & Angels

3. Hermann Hesse.

Hermann Hesse wrote the novel Steppenwolf.

Steppenwolf - Monster

2. I would like another bottle of that Miyake aftershave, please.

More of this stuff, please...

Morrissey - November Spawned A Monster

Great song, preposterous video, especially the Dairy Milk harmonica.

1. Ray-finned fish.

Eels - My Beloved Monster

Don't be afraid to go back in the water next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #59 - The Answers

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore... until you want the answers to Saturday Snapshots. But you all did very well again this week, so... Congratulations!

I think Alyson took this one, though Chris & Walter both did sterling work on some of the tougher ones while Charity Chic kept the flag flying for his home country, Rigid Digit corrected Alyson (and himself) and C was happy with #3, which really should have been 7. Lynchie must have had a lie in this week...


10. Fishy lady needs litmus paper.

Emma Pollock - Acid Test

9. What Ernie writes on his best friend's Christmas present may help Juliet breathe more easily.

Ernie writes 'For Bert' on his Christmas presents.

Tunes help you breathe more easily.

Juliet would happily share a Tune with Romeo.

Steve Forbert - Romeo's Tune

8. Scout's reclusive neighbour needs an alarm clock.

In To Kill A Mockingbird, Scout's reclusive neighbour was Boo Radley.

The Boo Radleys - Wake Up, Boo!

7. After Gill lazed, she complained about the weather.

"After Gill lazed" is an anagram.

Took a while to get to this one: I think we went through every weather-related Ella song in the process...

Ella Fitzgerald - Stormy Weather

6. "There's no place like home." That'll get in your eyes.

"There's no place like home," is what Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz when she was trying to get back home to Kansas.

Hilarious video alert!

Kansas - Dust In The Wind

5. I'm going to dance like Elvis to my stolen Bobby Goldsboro record.

Elvis got in trouble for swaying his hips too much when he was dancing.

Bobby Goldsboro sang Honey.

Hipsway - The Honey Thief

4. They're gonna shoot Van Morrison.

Van Morrison sang about the Bright Side of the Road.

The Killers - Mr. Brightside (or it could have been Kansas: 30 years later)

3. Santa brings crap presents for squares.

L7 - Shitlist (work that one out for yourselves)

2. Ice cream for a Tiny Dick?

I make no apologies.

Little Richard - Tutti Frutti

1. Paying the cheque makes me feel old and dried up. Plus, it's raining.

The bill leaves me feeling withered.

(Yes, CC, I resisted the "duck in a microwave" gag. Too obvious.)

By the way, Bill Withers was a genius. (Still is, I guess, but he knew to quit while he was ahead, which makes him smarter than most.)


Get Wired For Sound again next Saturday morning. Move It and be here first to snap up all the easy ones!

My Top Ten Postcode Songs

OK, so I know L7 weren't named after a Liverpool postcode... but my cred is already in tatters, I'm not about to open a post with a picture of East 17.

Anyway, songs named after (British) postcodes. A challenge I just couldn't resist. I couldn't think of any named after American postcodes... or zip codes... though I'm happy for you to suggest them. The closest I came was Kitchen by The Lemonheads, because they were "thrilled to be in the same postcode as you".

Here's ten songs that even Postman Pat should be able to deliver to the right address...



10. Jonny Rubbish - Living In NW3 4JR

"A parody of the Sex Pistols." Which is all very good, but if ever there was a band that were perfectly capable of being a parody of themselves without any help from anyone else, it was the Sex Pistols.

Still, amusing for one or two listens.

9. Madness - NW5

Madness doing wot they do best. Singing abaht Lahndahn staff.

Yes I watched you climb up
I seen you come alive
From those very humble beginnings
In NW5

8. Saint Etienne - B92

No idea why Sarah and the boys think hate and fear is taking over Solihull, but why else would this tune be called B92?

And if it's not a postcode, then I respectfully submit this alternative: The Birdman of EC1.

7. Ian Brown - Longsight M13

Inner city Manchester... although the person who uploaded the song to youtube filled the video with pictures of the South Bank. You can imagine the comments!

Lets the stars shine on
Until the break of dawn
Let the stars shine on
And let her move, move like a queen
Of Longsight M13

I was disappointed to learn that M5 by The Fall is about the motorway, not Salford.

6. Splodgenessabounds - I Fell In Love With A Female Plumber From Harlesden, NW10

He can't wait to see her again. At which point, he will probably buy her Two Pints of Lager & A Packet of Crisps.

5. Ride - OX4

Ride never went too far away from Oxford without getting homesick

4. Ray Davies - Yours Truly, Confused N10

Ray writes a letter to the editor from his home in Muswell Hill, complaining about the state of Britain today... a recurring theme from the infamous Little Englander.

I close my eyes and lay back and I think of England
I dream about that green and pleasant land we knew as England
That throne of kings, that sceptred isle set in a silver sea
Has turned into a laughing stock divided without harmony

That's why I remain yours truly, confused N10

3. Skint & Demoralised - LS11 OES

I've never been a football fan, but I'm a huge fan of Matt 'Skint & Demoralised' Abbott, and although I've no interest in Leeds United (despite them being a local team to me and the team my dad followed when he was younger) I can hear Abbott's passion in every word of this chant.

2. The Pogues - NW3

I'd love to think this track was an autobiographical account of Shane's arrival in Hampstead...

When I got down to the smoke
It was 1963
I got a job doing meals on wheels
Round NW3
I was terrorising grannies
For ten lousy bob a week
I was smashed and blacked
And drunk and yawning in NW3

...except that he would have been 6 at the time. Still, this is Shane MacGowan we're talking about, so anything's possible.

I stayed in Hampstead once. Walking down the street, I saw the "comedian" Michael McIntyre talking very loudly into his phone. I'm not a violent man, but I had to be physically restrained from punching him hard in the nose.

1. New Model Army - BD3

The track that inspired this particular Top 10, so I thought it deserved to be Number One. Despite working in Bradford for 20+ years of my life, I never really listened to one of the city's biggest bands while I was there (I was always more of a Terrorvision man) but I stumbled across this pretty recently and couldn't stop listening to it. Further investigation required...

We close early when the nights are slow
Hit the Shell garage, Thornton Road
Take a long drive up on the moors
Park up in a place we know
In the back seats getting stoned
To forget everything at home
Mess about with the bleeping phone
Gazing down on the city below
Where no one's really sure if this is home

And it's not where you're from or where you've been
It's not a matter of blood or of family tree
Everybody believes what they want to believe
But they come from some kind of refugee
Running from something, turned out of somewhere
All looking for somewhere, exiled from something
And no one's really sure if this is home

Very appropriate lyrics for anyone living in Bradford. Unfortunately, when I google search Pudsey (BD3), all I get is hundred of pictures of the Children In Need bear. The video below is probably more accurate...



Know any other songs named after postcodes? Send your answers on a postcard.

My Top Ten Pretend Songs

Let's pretend there's actually someone reading this blog. What's your favourite pretend song?  

(N.B. No "Pretender" songs allowed (no matter how great)... they'll get a separate list. I'm nothing if not thorough / anal.)


10. The Tindersticks - Let's Pretend

Lush.

9. The Bens - Just Pretend

When Ben Folds, Ben Kweller and Ben Lee teamed up... what else where they going to call themselves?

8. Elvis Presley - Just Pretend

There'll never be anyone quite like Elvis...

7. Eels - I'm Going To Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart

Classic Christmas Eve heartbreak. Not a Christmas song though, I promise.

6. Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits

How's that for a chat up line? Cheeky old Stephin Merritt.

5. Terrorvision - Pretend Best Friend

Ah yes, Bradford's finest. Always good to hear some Terrorvision again.

4. Cinerama - Let's Pretend

Having been dumped by (another) girlfriend, David Gedge sends her her stuff back in a box...

So here are your things
Starting with a pair of earrings
And I just bet
This is your Corrs cassette

Or is he just pretending he's not a closet Corrs fan himself?

3. MGMT - Time To Pretend

MGMT imagine being rock stars in a song inspired by their recently deceased preying mantis. You can't make it up, can you? Hilarious lyrics and the video is like some kind of Dali-esque nightmare.

We'll choke on our own vomit and the will be the end
We were fated to pretend

Neil Hannon and The Divine Comedy did a cool cover of this one too.

2. L7 - Pretend We're Dead

Famously the song that caused lead singer Donita Sparks to take her pants off while performing live on The Word back in 1992. Very exciting when I was 20. And it was a feminist statement, so it was OK for me to rewind the video...

1. R.E.M. - World Leader Pretend

Weird how the Top 3 bands are all abbreviations. (Let's pretend that's an interesting observation.)

From Orange, the album where R.E.M. were on the verge of world domination themselves. Seems so long ago now, doesn't it?





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