Memory Mixtape #26: Free School Milk

Herman’s Hermits – No Milk Today

In response to last week’s searing indictment of school dinners, Alyson commented…

When I was in Primary School we still got a bottle of milk to drink every morning. In winter it was ice cold but in summer it was very warm and not so nice at all. I remember our teacher standing over one girl every milk time forcing her to finish her bottle of and we all had to wait as it took her a long time, going down only an 1/8th of an inch (pre-decimal times) every minute. Wouldn't happen nowadays of course - not been milk since the days of Thatcher the Snatcher and of course so many children now have intolerances to dairy.

Billy Bragg – The Milkman Of Human Kindness

This opened up a whole can of memory worms for me… but a couple of things first...

Kids do still get school milk – it’s just not free anymore (and not in bottles). Parents have to pay for it – unless they can’t afford, in which case it’s supplemented. Sam’s 10 now and still gets milk at school. He also drinks any leftover cartons he can get his hands on. 

(Sam and his mates have likewise formed a Leftovers Club at dinner time. They make sure they’re the last in the dinner queue, then they’re more likely to be offered seconds after everyone’s finished their lunch.)

The Handsome Family – The Sad Milkman

Speaking of an intolerance to dairy though, Alyson… this is exactly what I had when I was a kid. I still do, though it’s a rather odd variety of intolerance. I just can’t drink milk, especially if it’s cold. If I try, it makes me throw up. I’m fine with anything else dairy-related – cheese, yoghurt… no problem. I’m also OK with boiled milk, in certain circumstances. That’s how my mum used to serve me cereal – Weetabix, Frosties, Coco Pops etc… always with hot milk. If I tried to eat them with cold milk… bleurggghh! I’ve never been able to drink milk shakes either. Not without gipping. Sorry, Kelis. You milkshake wouldn't bring me to the yard.

Kelis - Milkshake

I’m not sure I was aware of all this when I started Primary School, and I doubt my mum thought to mention it. On the first day of school then, out came the school milk bottles… “Drink up, children!”

Bleurgggghhhhh.

You Am I – Mr. Milk

My first teacher, Mrs. Kay (picture Julie Andrews, but slightly more posh) was a shrewd lady who quickly realised I couldn’t keep milk down, so she stopped offering it to me. (Saved her having to clean up her classroom every day.) When the school milk came out, I was excused. 

Garbage - Milk

And then I moved up a year. That’s when I met Mrs. Tebb. 

Haircut 100 - Milk Film

Mrs. Tebb did not like me. That’s pretty much all I remember about her. Every other teacher at my junior school, I got on with OK. Not Mrs. Tebb though. She hated me. And maybe that’s because of what happened on the day I arrived in her class… but if so, she only brought it on herself.

“Time for your milk, children!”

“But, Mrs. Tebb, I don’t drink milk. It makes me sick.”

“Nonsense. Milk is good for you. It’s good for your teeth and your bones and your everyday health! Milk is nature’s perfect food!”

Tindersticks – Milky Teeth

“But, miss, it makes me sick!”

“Nonsense – get it down you.”

And so, I drank my milk, almost immediately puking it right back up… all over Mrs. Tebb. 

“I told you it made me sick, miss.”

Saint Etienne - Milk Bottle Symphony

Back in 2007, Sheffield band Tiny Dancers put out their only album on the back of opening for Bob Dylan's UK tour the year before. The LP was called Free School Milk. This was their debut single, released on my 35th birthday. 

Celebrity Jukebox #52: George Lazenby

Some would say George Lazenby is the worst actor to ever play James Bond. And yet, he appears in the best James Bond movie: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The only James Bond movie where Bond’s character is allowed to develop, and then have the rug pulled out from him at the end with a genuine tragedy. (Some might argue they tried to do something similar with the Daniel Craig films, but as I’ve mentioned before, much as I like Craig as an actor, I didn’t like his films at all… to the point where I feel I’m over Bond now. Which is probably for the best.)

I generally write these posts a week in advance now, and last weekend I had my covid booster, which knocked me for six. Therefore, I tried to pick someone who wouldn’t feature in too many songs, and for once I was right.

Let’s start with Nigel Blackwell: always a welcome addition to these pages. He doesn’t mention George by name, BUT…

Half Man Half Biscuit – Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)

And there’s the person who collects all things Pierrot
And loves Siamese cats
And thinks they’re sophisticated because they eat Fry’s Chocolate Cream
And they’d do anything to spend the night with that fella off the Turkish Delight advert
Who’s full of Eastern Monosodium glutamate…

As you may recall, before he became Bond, George floggedTurkish Delight.

In case you’re wondering, I did find a band called Lazenby, but it appears they’re named after their lead singer, Sarah Lazenby.

Lazenby – Listening To Joni

Over at Charity Chic’s place, I found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to vote against The Blogmaster General (JC) in CC’s ongoing Townes Covered feature. To make up for that, and to prove I do like Tindersticks, I’m offering some chocolate…

Tindersticks – Chocolate

She even agreed On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was the best Bond film
If you accept it as a whole and not just get hung up about George Lazenby.

There’s a whole 9 minute story to that one, with an amusing twist at the end. I’d recommend giving it a listen if you have the time.

But today’s winning tune comes from Norwegian songwriter Sondre Lerche (although he apparently lives in L.A. now… mustn’t like the cold).

Some of you may think that I regret some of my doings
I’d do it all again
If I had the chance
Just like Lazenby

Can I do it over?
Don’t I get a second try?
Every time I messed up my lines and stumbled
Just like Lazenby

Snapshots #257: A Top Ten Pronoun Songs

This is Ezra Furman. They have a new record out. It's pretty good. Not yet sure if it's as good as Transangelic Exodus, but I'll let you know. Ezra once said, "I am trying to figure out why I as a trans person don’t care about gendered pronouns, and so many people do. Why I’m fine with he/she/them and others have strong preferences." I can't answer that question for them. But I can answer these pronoun questions for you...

10. Careful - you can cut yourself on this number!

No, it's not Rocky Sharpe & The Replays.

It is a sharp number ten though.

Ten Sharp - You

9. This is what happens when your dating app freezes.

When Tinder sticks...

Tindersticks - Her

8. Does Liam Love It?

Liam Gallagher is partial to a bit of Lyle Lovett, apparently.

Gallagher & Lyle - We

7. Big Irish Dogs.

The Wolfhounds - Me

6. Reagan & Clinton, perhaps?

Ron & Bill - It

5. What Captain Kirk sings at Christmas.

It's a carol, Jim, but not as we know it.

Jim Carroll - Them

4. Richard Hall's wine producer.

Richard Hall is Moby. Grapes produce wine.

Moby Grape - He

3. Miner 7th.

Bit of a stretch this one, but it worked for me. Miners dig coal, and get very black doing so. The 7th day is...

Black Sabbath - I

2. Where Murdoch lives.

Rupert Murdoch presumably has multiple homes.

Rupert Holmes - Him

Until very recently, the only copy of this tune I had was transferred from a scratchy 7 inch I pulled out of a skip. Listening to the digital version now, it doesn't sound right without the crackles.

1. Zane's rural havoc.

Only one anagram this week? Shocking!

Charles Aznavour - She

You would be right to expect more next week. I will deliver. Unless they stop me.

Snapshots #190: A Top Ten Sick Songs

Perhaps not the nicest subject matter I've ever used to connect songs, but not a bad set of tunes.

When I think of sick, I think of our cats puking up furballs... any excuse for a cat camera pic!

Answers... sorry if they get a bit heavy this week!

10. Count Ferdinand was a heavy metal pioneer.

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, that would be.

Led Zeppelin - Sick Again

9. Welsh bays.

Cardigan Bay.

The Cardigans - Sick And Tired

8. The last ding dong. 

Ding Dong, Avon calling. The last time they call would presumably be Z-von.

Warren Zevon - Don't Let Us Get Sick

7. Found in a dirty, wet hive.

Mudhoney - Touch Me, I'm Sick

6. Montgomery, Huntsville, Mobile.

Three towns in Alabama.

The Alabama 3 - Too Sick To Pray

5. Thank Robbie for teeing off.

Take the T off thank and you get Hank, with Robbie Williams...

Hank Williams - Lovesick Blues

4. Bothered?

Disturbed - Down With The Sickness

If that's too loud for you, may I suggest this version instead...?

Richard Cheese - Down With The Sickness

3. Bee, birds, gopher.

It's an anagram!

Phoebe Bridgers - Motion Sickness

2. Disc knitters.

And another one!

Tindersticks - City Sickness

1. Guitar playing rabbit floats up and down.

Cue the first ever lyric video...

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, but it'll blow more Snapshots your way next Saturday...

Hot 100 #48

AKB48 are a Japanese girl-band with 134 members who have sold 56 million records. And you thought five Spice Girls were too many!

Welcome back. You know the drill by now. Every week we count down another number, you provide lots of useful suggestions for songs that mention that number, and then I either bow to public pressure and go with one of your choices... or choose some obscure bit of nonsense that nobody else likes because I'm weird that way.

Last week, I suggested that I had "an obvious cool answer and an obvious slightly-less-cool answer for 48".

C was first to identify the "obvious cool" answer...

The Clash - 48 Hours

...which might have been this week's winner if I were more cool myself. But I'm not.

The Swede was convinced that the above (or "the obvious slightly-less-cool answer", which we'll come to in a moment) would be this week's winner, but that didn't stop him stumping up the following...

Frank Sinatra - Let's Get Away From It All

We'll travel 'round from town to town,

We'll visit every state, I'll repeat I love you sweet,

In all the forty eight...

Which, I guess, proves that this song was written long before Alaska & Hawaii joined the U.S.A. in 1959, making the number up to 50.

The Swede's next suggestion stole the thunder of our resident Canadian player, Douglas McClaren this week...

The Tragically Hip - The Dark Canuck

Till their art falls out, 

The short answer's 48 hours...

And finally from The Swede, this week's obligatory Bob Dylan entry...

Bob Dylan - Changing of the Guards

She wakes him up 48 hours later, 

The sun is breaking

In truth, 48 proved a tougher number than most - even Martin struggled to find anything beyond the obvious two suggestions, although he did eventually identify another one from my library...

The Tindersticks - 4.48 Psychosis

Finally, Jim from Dubai offered us another 48 band, and obscure Manchester act from 40 years gone...

48 Chairs - Snap It Around

A few more lyrical offerings from my own collection, starting with this week's token car song...

When I was a young boy,
It weren't too late,
I had me a Buick, was a '48
Yeah, tons and tons of rollin' steel
With a long black hood and four big wheels.

Neil Young - Get Gone

I asked the girl which road she was taking
She said she’s walking the road of hate
But she hopped on a coal-trolley up to New Town,
Population: 48

Nick Cave - Crow Jane

And finally, this rather unhygienic offering... 

Well, I didn't take a bath in 48 hours

So I took a detour and had a meteor shower

The Stray Cats - Blast Off! 

But in the end, it came down to either The Clash... or this week's "slightly less cool" winner, which actually got more votes, and not just from the middle-aged men in the audience... George, The Swede, Martin, Rigid Digit and Charity Chic, who went all googly-eyed and starting sighing like a lovestruck teenager. Not just them, because Alyson voted for this feminist icon too..

Take it away, Suzie Q...



Next Tuesday I will be 47. Your messages of condolence will be much appreciated.

By a wild coincidence, that's also the day we hit 47 on the Hot 100 Countdown. It's almost like I planned it that way... but who'd believe that?

Anyway, your suggestions for songs featuring the number 47 will be gratefully received...

Saturday Snapshots #28 - The Answers

"Is this the right end of the camera? Keef? KEEF! Where's 'e bleeding gone?"

Yesterdays answers will give you satisfaction...


10. 2023: too big for the ark.

Alyson was straight in with this one...

Noah & The Whale - Five Years Time

(Careful: if you click on it, you'll be whistling it all day.)


9. Sad clams laughing in the face of death.

One for Lynchie...

Blue Öyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper


8. The first noblemen get sharp.

Adam was the first man. Bryan apparently means "noble", as I'm sure our own Brian will agree.

C got Bryan from the picture alone, which is excellent detective work. Chris supplied the song.

Bryan Adams - Cuts Like A Knife


7. A rare forecast calls for a flimsy dress.

Another point for Alyson (minus half for the rogue apostrophe).

The Chiffons - One Fine Day

Great intro on that.


6. Self-destructive patients correct, condense and control.

One where you had to guess the band to identify the song... but I did give you three different clues for the band! (If anyone got this after 9pm last night, apologies.)

The Editors - Smokers Outside The Hospital Door

(Bit disappointed that the video doesn't feature a load of people wheeling their drip tubes outside for a crafty fag.)


5. He won't stop talking about late precipitation.

C & Lynchie teamed up for this one... with a little help from Chas & Dave.

Eddie Rabbit - I Love A Rainy Night


4. A hymn to tell her I love her.

Tell Laura I Love Her + Gloria (in Excelsis Deo) = another point for Alyson.

Laura Branigan - Gloria


3. Good for lighting a fire under your date - when you just want to get out into the country!

Tinder is, I understand, what da young peeps are using to hook up these days. (And the older peeps who are still at it... dating, I mean, since once you're past 40 that other stuff is but a distant memory.)

If you were sick of the city, you'd want to get out to the country.

Tindersticks - City Sickness

Half a point for Rigid Digit. Another half for Chris.


2. Snow White rejected these dwarfs for being hangers on.

Not the most original observation, but this band always did sound like the Dwarfs Snow White didn't want.

Alyson just beat Charity Chic to the band. RD supplied the correct song.

Dave, Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - Hold Tight 


1. Grow your own thunderstorm - Stan Lee will love it!

Taken from a misheard Prince lyric, Ian Broudie called his band The Lightning Seeds. Stan Lee was the storytelling genius behind Marvel Comics.

Another point for this week's winner (even with points deducted for punctuation), Alyson.

What an amazing pop song this is...




Thanks for playing.

You keep knocking 'em down, I'll keep setting them up...

January #9 - The Summer's Almost Gone...

9. Tindersticks - Hey Lucinda

Probably not the best time to be posting an end-of-summer tune, but I can't resist this one from the latest Tindersticks album, a duet between Stuart Staples and the late Lhasa de Sela, who sadly died in 2010 shortly after the vocal was recorded. Haunting is one of those adjectives I overuse on this blog... but damn it, you come up with a better one...

Hey Lucinda, you come out drinking with me tonight
Yeah, we could face and dance

I only dance to remember how dancing used to feel
And I wake up every morning to find you waiting for me

My Top Ten Pretend Songs

Let's pretend there's actually someone reading this blog. What's your favourite pretend song?  

(N.B. No "Pretender" songs allowed (no matter how great)... they'll get a separate list. I'm nothing if not thorough / anal.)


10. The Tindersticks - Let's Pretend

Lush.

9. The Bens - Just Pretend

When Ben Folds, Ben Kweller and Ben Lee teamed up... what else where they going to call themselves?

8. Elvis Presley - Just Pretend

There'll never be anyone quite like Elvis...

7. Eels - I'm Going To Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart

Classic Christmas Eve heartbreak. Not a Christmas song though, I promise.

6. Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits

How's that for a chat up line? Cheeky old Stephin Merritt.

5. Terrorvision - Pretend Best Friend

Ah yes, Bradford's finest. Always good to hear some Terrorvision again.

4. Cinerama - Let's Pretend

Having been dumped by (another) girlfriend, David Gedge sends her her stuff back in a box...

So here are your things
Starting with a pair of earrings
And I just bet
This is your Corrs cassette

Or is he just pretending he's not a closet Corrs fan himself?

3. MGMT - Time To Pretend

MGMT imagine being rock stars in a song inspired by their recently deceased preying mantis. You can't make it up, can you? Hilarious lyrics and the video is like some kind of Dali-esque nightmare.

We'll choke on our own vomit and the will be the end
We were fated to pretend

Neil Hannon and The Divine Comedy did a cool cover of this one too.

2. L7 - Pretend We're Dead

Famously the song that caused lead singer Donita Sparks to take her pants off while performing live on The Word back in 1992. Very exciting when I was 20. And it was a feminist statement, so it was OK for me to rewind the video...

1. R.E.M. - World Leader Pretend

Weird how the Top 3 bands are all abbreviations. (Let's pretend that's an interesting observation.)

From Orange, the album where R.E.M. were on the verge of world domination themselves. Seems so long ago now, doesn't it?





Let's pretend you're going to leave a comment...

My Top Ten Bathtime Songs

Sam does love bathtime. It's the highlight of his day... after eating and pooping.

Here's ten songs to bathe in...


10. No Doubt - Bathwater

I did prefer Gwen Stefani before she became so big and full of herself.

9. The Wonder Stuff - 30 Years In The Bathroom

And you think your other half spends a long time in the bath! Imagine if you lived with Miles Hunt...

And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow
Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby

8. God Help The Girl - Pretty Eve In The Tub

Belle & Sebastian's Stuart Murdoch was found lurking outside this lady's bathroom making suggestive remarks through the steamed up window. 

7. The Beatles - She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

As part of the majestic opera that is Side 2 of Abbey Road, this is Lennon & McCartney at their most amazing. Doesn't really work outside that context though.

6. The Divine Comedy - Bath

Only Neil Hannon could begin a song with a quote from the bible, followed by a lengthy string quartet intro, the lines "Rub-a-dub-dub, it's time for a scrub"... before going on to tell us of Ophelia's last day on earth. If you call that pretentious, you don't understand genius.

5. Bobby Darin - Splish Splash

We sang this to Sam quite a lot to encourage enjoyment in his earliest bathtime adventures. The cheesier side of rock 'n' roll: good, clean fun.

4. Tindersticks - Bathtime

Stuart Staples, the world's greatest pub-singer, gets filthy in the city and needs to clean up his act. 

3. Harry Nilsson - Bath

I'm beginning to think there's hope for the human race...

Steady on, Harry...

2. The Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom

Ska classic. Great beat, don't try to make sense of the lyrics.

Can I take you to a restaurant
That's got glass tables?
You can watch yourself
While you are eating

1. The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime In Clerkenwell

I think it's fair to say there's nothing else like this track on this Top Ten... or anywhere else in the known universe. No idea what it's about or where it came from, but it sounds like the best bathtime ever...




Which one makes you want to take a soak?

My Top Ten One Way Songs

There is only one way you'll get into this Top Ten (and it ain't "My Way"... or the highway).


10. The Darkness - One Way Ticket To Hell & Back

To anyone who considers The Darkness a one-joke band whose joke isn't funny anymore... take the ticket above, with my love.

See also One Way Ticket by Carrie Underwood, who, Louise took great pleasure in informing me the other day, started her career as a winner on American Idol. The fact that proper songwriters and genres other than pop were allowed on that show sets it streets ahead of The X-Factor in my books. Not that I'd have watched it... but it's good to see an artist as strong as Ms. Underwood come out of it. The best we've managed in this country is Ollie Murs...

9. The Allman Brothers - One Way Out

It's amazing that the Allman Brothers are still going, considering all the tragedy in their past. Some top guitar playing on show here. 

8. Skint & Demoralised - One Way Traffic

And like a street lined with litter on a Sunday morning  
You left me bitter; left me with no warning 
You had to go...and left me thinking, did you have to go?  
And then you sent me a text, and I was desperate to reply 
But to tell you that I'm happy, would have been a desperate lie 
And every time I talk to you, I struggle not to cry 
I still adore you, and I'm sure I should ignore you... 
And these lists of problems, seem to come without thinking 
Almost like they've been rehearsed, and I can feel my heart sinking...

Good to see Matt Abbott has a new S&D album out right now. Check it out here.

7. Dexys Midnight Runners - One Way Love

From the days when Kevin Rowland sang like an unintelligible drunk at a karaoke machine. And yet, he was (and still is) amazing.

Giving Kevin a run for his money in the pub singer states is lead Tinderstick Stuart Staples. See their One Way Street for a top example.

6. The Clint Boon Experience - Only One Way I Can Go

Class tune from Mr. Boon, available to download free from his website (if you can handle .ram files).

5. Bruce Springsteen - One Way Street

Back in the late 70s, Bruce recorded enough unreleased music to fill a couple of box sets, but legal issues and a crazed sense of quality control kept most of it unheard. This finally saw the light of day on the The Promise back in 2010... it was worth the wait.

4. Karine Polwart - Only One Way

My favourite KP song... and yes, Department of the Peculiar fans, this is where I stole one of my character's names.

And when a genocidal maniac talks about grief
And you kinda get the feeling that there’s nothing underneath
But you can’t believe a man would lie through such nice teeth
There's only one way 

3. Blur - There's No Other Way

See, if there's no other way... there must only be one way.

It's easy to forget that long before Britpop, Blur were baggy. If you want a good laugh, check out Damon's haircut in this video... 

2. Blondie - One Way Or Another

She's gonna get you, get you, get you, get you...

While not in the same class as Debbie, I always had a soft spot for Sophie Ellis Bextor's version too...

1. The Levellers - One Way 

Reminds me of being a young man... as so many of these songs end up doing. I hope to be able to share these songs with my own son... though I have a terrible feeling he'll rebel against his old dad and end up liking dance music, blingy r 'n' b or U2...

There's only one way of life - and that's your own!

Which is your one way? (And anyone who suggests One Direction...hang your head in shame.)

My Top Ten Sick Songs

There's a new issue of Department of the Peculiar out - and you can buy it here.

To celebrate, here's ten songs about being sick... I know, how lovely!


10. Disturbed - Down With The Sickness

This is about as heavy as I get... and it's pretty light for Disturbed.

I have to confess though, I first encountered this song via the Richard Cheese cover version as featured in the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead.

9. Fountains of Wayne - Sick Day

All about office romances that might happen one day...

Contains the pun: Lead us not into Penn Station. Which I like.

8. Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Sick Tonight

In which Scroobius gets a sick-bag for a head...

I remember when I was a kid and that
Way before I found beards and caps
Pencils came with erasers that
Could erase your mistakes erase, retract
But in the real world things just ain’t that easy
You can’t take back your mistakes so freely
You gotta take them in think about them deeply
Not ignore them and just move on discreetly

7. Matchbox 20 - Unwell

Not a band I rave about, but I do love this song. I'm not crazy... just a little unwell.

6. The Indelicates - Ill

Their sex is a sickness...

Because you'll never take enough of those pills
You know you're too clever to be mentally ill
You'll never fashion your damaged soul
Because you're too clever to lose control

5. Saint Etienne - You're In A Bad Way

Burnt toast, cold coffee, nothing but Bruce Forsythe on the telly... luckily, we have Sarah Cracknell to make us feel better. 

4. The Smiths - Still Ill

Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body?

I don't know... but I do know this song inspired one of my favourite Doom Patrol comics.

And, no, sorry, I can't make them Number One every time.

3. Bob Dylan - Subterranean Homesick Blues

In which Bob invents the lyrics video thirty years before youtube.

See also Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien.


2. Alabama 3 - Too Sick To Pray

Any song that begins thus...

I'm in a lonely room
Hank Williams sings a lovesick blues
Winter's walking up the avenue
But I ain't seen the sunshine since the 6th o' June

...well, it doesn't matter how sick you feel: this'll make you feel better.

1. Tindersticks - City Sickness

One of their finest songs, with a video directed by Jarvis and Steve from Pulp.






So, they were my sick notes... which one makes you feel better?

My Top Ten Psycho Songs

"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."

10. Space - Mister Psycho

Hey, remember Space? Bunch of Scouse psychos.

9. Tindersticks - 4.48 Psychosis

At 4:48
When sanity visits
For one hour and twelve minutes I am in my right mind
When it has passed I shall be gone again

8. The Ramones - Psycho Therapy

If ever there was a band who needed to self-medicate...

7. Spearmint - Psycho Magnet

You are the star
I am a psycho-magnet

6. Imelda May - Psycho

She goes with a psycho.

5. Richard Thompson - Psycho Street

Richard Thompson looks through a mirror darkly crack'd and sees the Neighbours theme tune, distorted and disturbing.

A man has an inflatable doll made that looks exactly like his wife
He murders his wife, dissolves her body in acid, and marries the doll
Three years later he leaves her for another doll

4. Black Box Recorder - Child Psychology

Life is unfair: Kill yourself, or get over it.

3. Huey Lewis & The News - Hip To Be Square

If you don't know what this is doing here, you probably shouldn't click the link above. specially if you're offended by gratuitous violence against yuppies.

In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

2. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer

I hate people when they're not polite.

1. Elvis Costello - Psycho

Many artists have covered Leon Payne's dark and haunting first person psycho narrative, but Elvis is the one who nails it for me. Sends shivers down my spine every time... especially the bleak twist at the end.



Those are the songs that set my sanity slipping. Which one sends you to the rubber room?

My Top Ten Start Songs

This is my new Top Ten blog. There will be very little waffle, just ten songs on a given subject. If you'd like to leave comments or suggestions, they're always appreciated.

Let's get started...

10. Seasick Steve - I Started Out With Nothin'...

...and I still got most of it left.

9. Los Campesinos! - It Started With A Mixx

8. They Might Be Giants - Don't Let's Start

No one in the world
Ever gets what they want
And that is beautiful
Everybody dies
Frustrated and sad
And that is beautiful

7. Spearmint - Start Again

Contains the best final line of any song on this list... but don't listen if you're offended by foul language.

6. The Tindersticks - Can We Start Again?

Drips into your ear like evil treacle.

5. Dexys Midnight Runners - Let's Get This Straight From The Start

This is classic Dexys, from the days when they dressed as ragamuffins. That new Dexys album, One Day I'm Going To Soar, is really quite wonderful too. If you like mad, mad things.

4. The Lemonheads - Alison's Starting To Happen

She's getting her tit pierced and growing a mohawk...I guess there's someone for everyone.

3. The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

2. The Jam - Start!

Knowing that someone in this world feels as desperate as me...

1. The Smiths - I Started Something I Couldn't Finish

Typical me!



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