At one of the hospitals where I work, we get a monthly delivery of books to hand out to children on the ward.
This arrived the other day.
Nobody wants to go anywhere near it...
Showing posts with label Clint Boon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clint Boon. Show all posts
Friday, 7 November 2025
Monday, 17 February 2025
Listening Post #25: Not Enough Purple
This blog's been pretty much me writing about music lately, with very little me writing about life. If there's a reason for that, I guess it's that life is getting me down more than usual and I've got a major case of the blues.
I never understood why blue should be the colour of depression, since it's a bright and happy colour: everyone loves a blue sky, right? What should be the colour of unhappiness then? Some might say black, but there's a million reasons why that would be a bad idea... mostly because black is way too cool.
No, I reckon the real colour of misery is GREY. Boring, insipid, lifeless, moribund grey.
I'm hoping my mood is just a reflection of the long winter. It's half term this week, so at least I get a bit of a break. It's certainly the case that for the last month or so, to quote Clint Boon, there's been not enough purple... TOO MUCH GREY.
Sunday, 24 December 2023
Snapshots #324: A Top Ten Reindeer Songs
Happy Christmas Eve!
Here are some Reindeer Songs...
10. Truck that took the late James Broad's indie power-pop band to gigs.
The late James Broad was the lead singer of the excellent Silver Sun, responsible for the loudest gig I ever attended. These guys though are the...
Silversun Pickups - Dots and Dashes (Enough Already)
And that's as close as I could get to a song about Dasher.
9. If we have a White Christmas, these ladies will have no problem getting around.
Sister Sledge - He's The Greatest Dancer
8. Go ahead, punk, make my day by giving me something that is helpful or beneficial.
Clint Eastwood said "Go ahead, punk..." Something that is helpful or beneficial is a boon.
The Clint Boon Experience - Comet Theme No. 1
7. Someone's sneaking round the corner. Could it be Mack...?
The Knife - Christmas Reindeer
6. Befuddled by Fat Hell.
"Fat Hell" is an anagram. That's Brix Smith fronting, not Mark E. As she does on this tune...
5. A body of representatives.
The Delegation - Dance, Prance, Boogie
And that's as close as I could get to Prancer.
4. Award winning lady meets man of ash.
She won an Emmy. He's in Ash.
Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler - Jesus The Reindeer
3. He made OK cameos.
Anagram!
2. Hard to make out who it is.
Badly Drawn Boy - Donna & Blitzen
1. All these guys (and plenty more).
Don't forget to leave a carrot out for the reindeer tonight.
Tuesday, 1 February 2022
Conversations With Ben #25: Bluff
Ben: Joe Perra Season 3 is on All 4 as of today!!
Rol: Cool. I will fire up the kitchen TV.
(For some reason, I can only get All 4 on the kitchen TV, not the one in the lounge.)
Is there a chair or do you stand to watch it?
It's the kitchen. There is a dining table and chairs. Although, as a family, we spend more time playing Ticket To Ride there than eating.
Europe or America?
Europe. Wild West. 1812 expansion pack. France. London. New York is in the cupboard, but we haven't played that yet.
I think New York is my favourite as it's only a 15 minute game.
Use it as more of a warm up game before something with a lot of depth.
So is London, but I prefer the games to go on. I'd rather have an unlimited supply of trains and just keep building more and more routes. It's preferable to actual adult responsibilities and stuff.
(Bit obvious that, I know.)
Louise is going out tonight, so I was looking forward to having the big TV to myself...
Only now we've had a power cut.
And since you're no longer at The Bad Place, you don't want to just sit in the dark crying?
Saturday night crying in the dark... reminds me of my 20s.
Do you have six dice?
Farkle could be something a bit different.
Or if you have two dice and 12 paperclips or other small objects, you can play Pickup.
Both quick games. Farkle is a point scoring game, Pickup is chance.
Can you play them in the dark?
With a torch.
You could always play Blind Man's Buff.
I think you might mean bluff.
Buff.
Maybe yours is a more niche version.
Mrs. Ben and I had this exchange a while back....
It's Buff.
Buff means nekkid.
Bluff means bluff.
Ben sends a link.
You just have to make everything about sex.
"The traditional name of the game is "Blind Man's Buff", where the word 'buff' is used in its older sense of a small push."
Yes, but Wikipedia can be edited by people who are desperate to win arguments.
As an academic, you should know it's not a reliable source.
Ben sends another link.
Though not discussing the game itself, these articles clearly indicate the qualities of the game Blind Man's Buff as a stand in for more serious issues that are mirrored in the gameplay.
That sentence made no sense at all. You're just trying to bamboozle me with words now.
Also, I note that it took you quite some time in between replies. Long enough to write a couple more website articles to back up your fallacies.
Sage has an average of 8 months before an article is accepted for review, more if they want any changes or amendments. If not, it's still three more months until it goes online.
I'm not sure about Wiley as I've not sent anything through them.
Presumably that's powered by ACME.
If I had done such a quick turnaround, then it most definitely wouldn't have been cited in at least 7 other papers which also need to go through a similar process.
Now you're just trying to blind me with academia.
Me, I found only one song that referenced Blind Man's Buff...
Whereas I found loads that reference Blind Man's Bluff, including Depeche Mode, Aerosmith, Rush, The Inspiral Carpets, Del Amitri, The Blue Osyter Cult... and this:
I know who I believe.
I didn't realise that being a successful musician meant you had to have knowledge of the history of children's games.
And anyone that can be grouped with the Inspiral Carpets is a group I would go to great pains to distance myself from.
The Typhoo Tea of Britpop.
Clint Boon was a god.
I'd rather take advice on children's games from him than Robert Plant.
Also, they were way before Britpop.
They're older than you!
I have no respect for a band that does a reunion show once a week at The Leadmill.
Either write some new music or commit to a tour that's not also full of washed up bands.
This Is How It Feels is an anthem of my late teenage years.
Meant a lot to me, that song.
I thought you were in your late thirties when that came out.
I was 18.
They were the equivalent of The Rakes to my generation.
I prefer Boon's quirky solo stuff though.
White No Sugar was great.
Power still off.
Keeping ourselves entertained though... Sam has created his own version of Ticket To Ride. Geography is a bit suspect.
Meanwhile, I'm currently lighting a bonfire out of CD inlays in the back garden to cook a dead rat on.
24 hours and you've already resorted to savagery.
Is it at least CDs from Uncut?
I'm starting with the Morrissey CDs.
Taking them out of circulation rather than donating. Smart.
It's kind of the opposite of burning a KKK cross.
This is my Morrissey substitute these days. It's like Morrissey Methadone...
Has the power returned to the house or are you even more feral?
Louise was just about to saw off my leg when the electric came back on.
I don't understand why that stopped her.
Me neither.
Sunday, 8 November 2020
Saturday Snapshots #162 - The Answers
No, I couldn't find any pictures of Joe Biden holding a camera. Neither do I expect Joe Biden to be a truly great president. But at least he once worked with one (even if Obama didn't achieve everything he set out to do, he remained a decent figurehead throughout).
The main thing Biden has in his favour is that he's Not Trump. In the same way I voted for Corbyn purely because was not Not Boris. Frankly, the Democrats could have put Tom Hanks & Michael Bolton on the ticket and I'd have voted for them instead of Trump. Just as Labour could field James Corden with Bono as deputy and I'd be putting my X in their box, no matter how detestable I find them both.
I'll leave the final word today to Sam, aged 7, yet already an expert political analyst.
"I think Donald Trump is going to break all the ornaments in The White House
so that when Joe Biden moves in, he's not got anything nice."
so that when Joe Biden moves in, he's not got anything nice."
Here are this week's answers...
10. Half a piano... just like Andrew Gold.
A piano is made up of black and white keys.
Andrew Gold was a Lonely Boy.
9. Wishing the week whisked away.
A whisk is used to make beating eggs easier.
Wishing the week away, you're thinking about Friday.
The Easybeats - Friday On My Mind
8. Early morning enclosure, thrice refused.
Early morning is dawn. An enclosure is a pen.
7. Expensive Eagle wants a lift this evening.
Eddie the Eagle costs lots of money.
Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight
Sadly, I don't think this Eddie will make it into next week's Top Ten Eddie Songs. So I thought I'd find room for him here. What a chorus!
6. Chubbier Scot makes a right turn... will you be mine?
A chubbier Scot would be Mc-Fatter.
Clyde McPhatter - A Lover's Question
5. Dark dancer mixed with problematic nun (plus alias)... what Blanche depended on.
Courtney Cox became famous after being plucked from the audience to go Dancing In The Dark.
The problematic nun was Maria, alias Julie Andrews.
Blanche DuBois always depended on the kindness of strangers, in A Streetcar Named Desire.
Courtney Marie Andrews - The Kindness of Strangers
4. Eastwood & Elphick prefer milk in their coffee, nothing else.
Clint Eastwood + Michael 'Boon' Elphick like it white with no sugar.
The Clint Boon Experience - White With No Sugar
3. Improvement for Butch's shortened mum.
Butch Cassidy's shortened mum with be Mama Cass.
Mama Cass - It's Getting Better
2. Not all ladies like it risqué.
Some girls like it racey. Some girls don't. (C, apparently, didn't... at least not where these guys were concerned!)
1. Nurse snogs my sugar babe.
Nurse snogs was this week's only anagram!
More next week. As long as Trump doesn't have hissy fit. (I really hope Secret Service have hidden the football.)
Monday, 25 September 2017
The Neverending Top Ten #3: White No Sugar
"Somehow my child knows the chorus to this song and is singing it to himself..."
This was Louise's reaction (via facebook) to the boy's latest favourite. See, I'm not just introducing him to the classics everyone knows... but the classics everyone has forgotten (or never knew in the first place) as well.
Fortunately, Mummy found herself digging Clint Boon's White No Sugar when she heard it, so I think I got away with this one. She even made the trenchant observation that perhaps the Arctic Monkeys listened to Clint Boon a bit while they were growing up. (Trivial claim to fame: Alex Turner studied music at the college where I teach... quite a bit before I got there though.)
3. The Clint Boon Experience - White No Sugar
White No Sugar is from 1999, when the internet was a new and exciting phenomenon. "This is definitely a new revolution!" says Clint. How right he was. My boy, like all his generation, will take the internet for granted. Just as I take television for granted and can't believe that when my parents were kids, all they had was the radio. Who knows what else he'll take for granted by the time he's my age...
Mr Boon: play that tune!
Thursday, 20 April 2017
My Top Ten Songs About Prince
It's been a year since he died and I still haven't quite come to terms with it. I accepted Bowie's death, I knew Leonard wasn't long for this world. George was a shock, but not entirely. Prince though...
Of all the artists we lost last year, Prince was the one I felt the hardest. For about a month after his death, I listened to little else but his back catalogue on repeat. He was one of the biggest superstars of my life. Many of the others had been recording long before I was born, but Prince started making music in my lifetime, created some of the most amazing records I ever heard... and then was taken far too soon. I wanted to honour that again, but since I've already compiled My Top Ten Prince Songs, here's the next best thing...
10. The Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
This one again. Sorry about that.
It's just, they're (dreaming) of doing "the kind of stuff only Prince would sing about"...
9. Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now
It did seem in the early 90s like the world might well be changing for the better. When Jesus Jones wrote this, they proclaimed Bob Dylan's dream was coming true...
I saw the decade in, when it seemedSo... did the world wake up from history?
The world could change at the blink of an eye
And if anything
Then there's your Sign o' the Times
Did it heck as like.
8. Goldie Lookin' Chain - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do
Witty Welsh rap. What's not to love?
Guns don't kill people rappers do,7. Missy Elliott - Work It
From Bristol Zoo to B&Q,
I want to rap, I want to rhyme
Heard it in a song now I'm into gun crime,
Its a sign of the times like Prince changin his name,
Gotta have a shooter to be in the rap game,
Like Michael Ryan about to snap,
Guns don't kill people its just rap!
This is probably the first time I've featured Missy Elliott here, but I am a fan in small doses. I particularly like this one: always impressed by her ability to rap backwards. Wonder how she does that live?
You know Missy feel supa dupa6. Beck - Debra
Prince couldn't get me change my name, papa
Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir
Picture black sayin', "Oh, yessa, massa"
Beck's whole Midnite Vultures album was a huge departure from his earlier work and wears its Prince influence proudly. A lot of artists have been influenced by Prince musically, but this song also shows huge lyrical influence. It could be the b-side to Raspberry Beret. Speaking of which...
5. Clint Boon Experience - Not Enough Purple, Too Much Grey
I'll just slip this one in here and leave you to decide whether it's about Prince or not. It certainly sums up the post-Prince world to me.
4. Hot Chip - Down With Prince
I'm not always the biggest Hot Chip fan, but how can I resist when they channel the purple one?
3. Eminem - Without Me
Eminem, the self-proclaimed "worst thing since Elvis Presley", rarely has a positive word to say about any other artist (except, maybe, Dr. Dre). But while he cheerfully puts the boot into NSYNCH, Limp Bizkit and Moby in this track, he really can't bring himself to say anything bad about Prince, using him instead as a comparison for how long Marshall Mathers spent writing songs before he got his break.
2. Smog - Prince, Alone In The Studio
Bill Callahan's epic captures better than anything what made Prince a superstar. He was a perfectionist. He lived for his music, more than just about any other artist we've had in popular music. Not all of that music was perfect, but it was his life. More than food, more than sex, more than anything else... music was what mattered to him.
1. Prince - My Name Is Prince
And he is funky.
Of course, the irony of this song was: very soon after, he stopped calling himself Prince and changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol just to piss Warner Brothers off. We all had to call him TAFKAP for the next eight years. But he was always Prince in our hearts.
Goodnight sweet Prince. I Wish You Heaven.
Friday, 30 August 2013
My Top Ten One Way Songs
There is only one way you'll get into this Top Ten (and it ain't "My Way"... or the highway).
10. The Darkness - One Way Ticket To Hell & Back
To anyone who considers The Darkness a one-joke band whose joke isn't funny anymore... take the ticket above, with my love.
See also One Way Ticket by Carrie Underwood, who, Louise took great pleasure in informing me the other day, started her career as a winner on American Idol. The fact that proper songwriters and genres other than pop were allowed on that show sets it streets ahead of The X-Factor in my books. Not that I'd have watched it... but it's good to see an artist as strong as Ms. Underwood come out of it. The best we've managed in this country is Ollie Murs...
9. The Allman Brothers - One Way Out
It's amazing that the Allman Brothers are still going, considering all the tragedy in their past. Some top guitar playing on show here.
8. Skint & Demoralised - One Way Traffic
And like a street lined with litter on a Sunday morningGood to see Matt Abbott has a new S&D album out right now. Check it out here.
You left me bitter; left me with no warning
You had to go...and left me thinking, did you have to go?
And then you sent me a text, and I was desperate to reply
But to tell you that I'm happy, would have been a desperate lie
And every time I talk to you, I struggle not to cry
I still adore you, and I'm sure I should ignore you...
And these lists of problems, seem to come without thinking
Almost like they've been rehearsed, and I can feel my heart sinking...
7. Dexys Midnight Runners - One Way Love
From the days when Kevin Rowland sang like an unintelligible drunk at a karaoke machine. And yet, he was (and still is) amazing.
Giving Kevin a run for his money in the pub singer states is lead Tinderstick Stuart Staples. See their One Way Street for a top example.
6. The Clint Boon Experience - Only One Way I Can Go
Class tune from Mr. Boon, available to download free from his website (if you can handle .ram files).
5. Bruce Springsteen - One Way Street
Back in the late 70s, Bruce recorded enough unreleased music to fill a couple of box sets, but legal issues and a crazed sense of quality control kept most of it unheard. This finally saw the light of day on the The Promise back in 2010... it was worth the wait.
4. Karine Polwart - Only One Way
My favourite KP song... and yes, Department of the Peculiar fans, this is where I stole one of my character's names.
And when a genocidal maniac talks about grief3. Blur - There's No Other Way
And you kinda get the feeling that there’s nothing underneath
But you can’t believe a man would lie through such nice teeth
There's only one way
See, if there's no other way... there must only be one way.
It's easy to forget that long before Britpop, Blur were baggy. If you want a good laugh, check out Damon's haircut in this video...
2. Blondie - One Way Or Another
She's gonna get you, get you, get you, get you...
While not in the same class as Debbie, I always had a soft spot for Sophie Ellis Bextor's version too...
1. The Levellers - One Way
Reminds me of being a young man... as so many of these songs end up doing. I hope to be able to share these songs with my own son... though I have a terrible feeling he'll rebel against his old dad and end up liking dance music, blingy r 'n' b or U2...
There's only one way of life - and that's your own!
Which is your one way? (And anyone who suggests One Direction...hang your head in shame.)
Monday, 7 January 2013
My Top Ten Only One Songs
No. Not 'One & Only'. Chesney Hawkes fans, I'm sorry, there's nothing here for you today...
10. The Clint Boon Experience - Only One Way I Can Go
Mr. Boon... play that tune!
9. Arctic Monkeys - Only Ones Who Know
A timely ditty from the second Monkeys album...
And I hope you're holding hands by New Year's Eve,8. The Sundays - You're Not The Only One I Know
They made it far too easy to believe,
That true romance can't be achieved these days
Lovely.
7. Jimmy Ruffin - Maria (You Were The Only One)
Michael Jackson also recorded this. But with all due respect... not half as well as Jimmy.
6. Karine Polwart - Only One Way
The Scottish singer-songwriter whose first name I stole for one of my characters in Department of the Peculiar. (Not bought your copy yet? Get it here.)
And when a genocidal maniac talks about grief5. Billy Bragg - The Only One
And you kinda get the feeling that there’s nothing underneath
But you can’t believe a man would lie through such nice teeth
There's only one way
The chain that fell off my bike last nightNo one writes 'em like Billy.
Is now wrapped round my heart
Sometimes I think that
Fate has been against us from the start
4. Harry Chapin - There Was Only One Choice
14 minutes long... and not a second wasted. A masterclass in songwriting... all about writing songs.
Strum your guitar -- sing it kid3. The Only Ones - Another Girl, Another Planet
Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did
Inexperience -- it once had cursed me
But your youth is no handicap -- it's what makes you thirsty
OK, that rule I have about not including band names in my Top Tens? Breakable if the song's as good as this one. Space travel's in my blood...
2. Huey Lewis & The News - The Only One
A belter from Huey's second album, Picture This. The story of a high school hero whose later life leads to tragedy. You know, the sort of kid you think: he's got it made... and then, years later, you find out how much he blew it. I'd forgotten how much I loved this song when I was a teenager. Perhaps I was maliciously wishing a similar fate on some of the "popular" kids I knew in high school...
1. The Charlatans - The Only One I Know
The Charlies' biggest hit has a fantastic funky intro, and a Hammond organ that could only have come from the early 90s.
I chose ten... but you can have only one. Obviously.
Monday, 13 August 2012
My Top Ten 'Not Enough' Songs
So, the Olympics is over and so are my Olympic Top Tens. If you'd asked me three weeks ago if I'd had enough of the Olympics yet, I'd probably have answered 'yes'. Yet, amazingly, I found myself suckered in, addicted to sports I've never had the remotest interest in before (not football though - I still found that dull). I'm really missing the Games now they're done - there's a hole in my life. I just couldn't get enough...
"Enough" is one of those words: the more you look at it, the weirder it looks. There's not enough time to list all my favourite Not Enough Songs, so Ten will just have to be... enough.
10. Patti Smythe & Don Henley - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
Don Henley obviously can't ever get enough. See also Not Enough Love In The World and You're Not Drinking Enough.
9. The Clint Boon Experience - Not Enough Purple, Too Much Grey
It's the problem with the world today...
8. The Cure - Never Enough
The video (type-)casts Mad Bob McMad as the top turn in a David Lynch style freakshow.
7. Bad Company - Can't Get Enough
Well, I'll take whatever I want
And baby, I want you...
6. INXS - Not Enough Time
There certainly wasn't enough time for Michael Hutchence.
5. Depeche Mode - Just Can't Get Enough
You may have expected to find this at Number One... but although it is the Mode's most well known single, and a great singalong radio hit, it's not one of my favourites. The band have made far better records and this one's just a little over-played compared to the rest of their back catalogue. IMHO.
4. Dean Friedman - Love Is Not Enough
On the other hand, I can never have enough Dean Friedman. Beautiful stuff.
3. Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us
Sheer mental genius.
See also: Frank Turner's one man response song... This Town Ain't Big Enough For The One Of Me.
2. Kasey Chambers - Not Pretty Enough
The ultimate question of unrequited teenage love - "Am I not pretty enough? Why do you see right through me?" If you've never been there, count yourself lucky. Or arrogant and self-deluded.
1. Manic Street Preachers & Nina Persson - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
One of the Manic's best ever singles, from a point in their career when most bands have given up trying so hard.
So... which song can't you get enough of?
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