One Final Halloween Snapshots Spillover

As it's Halloween, here's a final batch of horror film-inspired songs, starting with the Scream Queen herself. No, not Jamie Lee Curtis...

Kate Bush - The Fog

Next up, a track from the new Nick Lowe album, his first in eleven years. Apparently, he's spent the time catching up on movies like this...

Nick Lowe & Los Straitjackets - A Quiet Place

I couldn't let this series close without mentioning "the most amazing motion picture of our time", starring Michael Landon, presumably before he found God in Highway To Heaven...

The Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf

Up into the hills next, for an encounter with some inbred yokels... have you ever been to Holmfirth?

The Meteors - The Hills Have Eyes

Irena Dubrovna discovered she was descended from an ancient tribe of Cat People who metamorphose into black panthers when aroused. Just like Manimal!

The original version of Cat People was released in 1942. Forty years later, a saucy remake roped this guy in to contribute to the soundtrack... 

David Bowie - Cat People (Putting Out The Fire)

Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was banned during the video nasties scare of the 80s, so it became something of a holy grail to teenage horror fans like myself, desperate to see it. When it was finally re-released in 1998, I rushed out to see it. The film does contain one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever seen... yet it's nothing to do with the infamous chainsaw, or even Leatherface himself. Instead, the bit that got me was the dinner party scene when they fetch Grandpa down from the attic...

The Tyla Gang formed in 1975 following the dissolution of Sean Tyla's previous band, Ducks Deluxe. I suspect there's more than a whiff of bandwagonary going on here... 

Tyla Gang - Texas Chainsaw Massacre Boogie

The other classic horror film banned throughout my adolescent video shop days was Mark Kermode's favourite: The Exorcist. Hard to believe it's 25 years since the censors finally allowed me to watch that...

Curtis Mayfield - Sweet Exorcist

Redd Kross - Linda Blair

The less said about the 2005 remake of House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton, the better. The 1953 original though, with Vincent Price, was one of the first mainstream Hollywood movies to be filmed in 3D. I generally hate 3D movies, but I reckon it'd be worth seeing this one again with the glasses on.

I found a whole bunch of songs named after this flick. Here's a smattering of wax on wax...

Miss Destiny - House of Wax

The Alderman - House of Wax

Bruce Woolley & The Camera Club - House of Wax

Paul McCartney - House of Wax

Nothing beats a good haunted house story for me though. And that one to beat in that genre is the 1963 version of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, known simply as The Haunting.

Whatever you do, do NOT watch the 1999 version with Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta Jones. It's one of the worst films I've ever seen. 

Here are some post-Shane Pogues... so no way as scary as they used to be.

The Pogues - Haunting

And here's some Shane, in case you're missing him, along with Sinéad. I'm missing them both.

Shane MacGowan with Sinéad O'Connor - Haunted

Sadly, I couldn't find any songs named after the best haunted house movies of the 21st Century, the Paranormal Activity flicks, but I'm closing today with the film that got me hooked on horror movies back when I was a kid. I was obsessed with the Amityville Horror, reading all the books, watching all the films, and even looking favourably upon Lovebug Starski... 

Happy Halloween to you all. Hoohahahahahaaaa!

Snapshots Spillover: Even More Halloween Horror Film Songs

When I was a kid, I vividly remember the thrill of watching the old Universal horror movies late Saturday night on BBC2. You'd never see these classics on TV these days, and they're in danger of being airbrushed out of history for anyone other than ardent cinephiles... but we remember them today, starting with Victor (or Henry, as he was known in James Whales' film) Frankenstein and his monster, played by Boris Karloff...

The Edgar Winter Group - Frankenstein

That was the obvious tune, although curiously it only made it to Number 5 in My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs back in 2015...

Before you knew it, the Monster demanded a mate... in the form of Elsa Lanchester.

I couldn't immediately think of a song named after The Bride, but then I discovered New Zealand's Toy Love, who were on Flying Nun, so they had to be worth a listen. Here they are in 1980...

Toy Love - Bride of Frankenstein 

Todd Browning's Dracula was the first of many Universal films featuring the Lord of the Undead (and his family), although it's the only one to feature Bela Lugosi in the title role (unless you count his guest appearance in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein). Despite that, Lugosi is the actor most often associated with the Count, even long after his death...

Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

Dracula can be found in quite a few songs in my hard drive, but only one is named solely after him, from this Aberdonian indie band...

The Little Kicks - Dracula

The direct sequel to Lugosi's Dracula featured Gloria Holden as Countess Marya Zaleska, aka Dracula's Daughter. Which leads us nicely to Colin Meloy and co....

The Decemberists - Dracula's Daughter

Soon after that, Boris Karloff returned, not with bolts through his neck this time, but wrapped in bandages...

Benji Hughes - The Mummy

More bandages were wrapped around Claude Rains in 1933... although when he took them off, he disappeared completely. There's loads of Invisible Man songs to choose from (see here), but this was the obvious choice, still one of Declan's finest album tracks...

Elvis Costello - The Invisible Man

And now for a few more Universal Monster movies turned into songs...

The Frantic Elevators - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

(featuring the immortal line, "I'm an ugly sod, but it's not my fault")

The Who - Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde

Dave Edmunds - The Creature From The Black Lagoon

Sarah Brightman & Steve Harley - The Phantom Of The Opera

(Yes, I went there.)

Round Robin - I'm The Wolfman

Ah yes, The Wolfman. I used to be a Wolfman, but I'm alright nooooooooooooooooowwwwww. Etc. 

But did you know that the first Werewolf-based horror movie to be produced by Universal was not 1941's The Wolfman? 

Oh no. 

Six years prior to that, they released this beauty, starring Henry Hull as the... erm... hairy handed gent who ran amok in Kent...

How else could we close this post?

Snapshots Spillover: More Halloween Horror Films

Suede - The Living Dead

I do like a good horror film. 

I also like a bad horror film.

Black Francis - The Conjuring

Generally, I just like horror films. 

While my tolerance for many other movie genres has waned over the years, I've never grown out of the thrill of watching horror films. And I hope I never do.

For Halloween week, I figured I'd share as many songs connected to horror films as I could find...

Barbarian is the best horror film I've seen in the last few years. It's one of those flicks where you think you know where it's going, and then... woah, wait a minute, WHAT just happened?

INXS - Barbarian

Another strong contender for best horror movie of the past decade is the Aussie movie Talk To Me. Terrific supporting role for Miranda Otto in this too...

60ft Dolls - Talk To Me

I also thought Smile was pretty good, though a lot of true horror fans seemed to think it wasn't quite enough...

There are lots of songs called Smile. Here's the most obscure one I could find in my hard-drive...

Colenso Parade - Smile

One of the best British horror films of the last 20 years (actually, it's almost 20 years old... which just seems wrong) was The Descent. Great ending, though that was slightly undone by the unnecessary sequel...

Bob Mould - The Descent

I like films where the baddies wear creepy masks and you can't see their faces. The original Strangers movie was a pretty scary movie back in 2008, but like a lot of horror films, its impact has been diluted by too many unnecessary sequels...

The Kinks - Strangers

I'll have more of these later in the week, but we'll close today with a movie that already featured in this week's Snapshots, when I included a song by The Mock Turtles... largely because they were harder to identify than Jarvis & Pulp would have been. 

And while I think the original version of The Wicker Man is untouchable, I also have a soft spot for the gonzo 2006 remake starring Nicolas Cage. NOT THE BEES!

I refer you back to my opening comment: I also like a bad horror film.

Pulp's Wickerman is from their final, unjustly overlooked, album, We Love Life. Produced by Scott Walker, it's Jarvis at his best...

Celebrity Jukebox #127: Roger Corman

Director and producer Roger Corman, who died earlier this month aged 98, was something of a Hollywood legend... if you like tacky cult films. He's the guy who gave Jack Nicholson his big break in the original version of Little Shop of Horrors, got William Shatner to play a manipulative bigot in The Intruder (also known as I Hate Your Guts) and gave Ray Milland X-Ray Eyes. In comic book circles, he's known as the man behind the original screen version of The Fantastic Four, a movie so "bad" it was never officially released. I'm guessing Roger still did OK from it - after all, his autobiography was titled How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime. 

All that said, it should come as little surprise that The Ramones were big fans...

Vin Scelsa is on the radio

Ramones are hanging out in Kokomo

Roger Corman’s on a talk show

With Allan Arkush and Stephen King, you know

The Ramones - It's Not My Place (In the 9 to 5 World)

Roger's also in fine company on this kitschy classic...

Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde!

Christine is the baddest ride!

Roger Corman

Barbra Steele

Killer Tomatoes have appeal!

Hannibal Lector, sick and mean!

Eat your heart with Fava Beans!

Chuckie's just a living doll!

The Fifty Foot Woman is awfully tall!

Elvira - Monster Rap

Way back in 1981, Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys teamed up with Adrian Borland of The Sound, Morgan Fisher from Mott The Hoople and weird minimalist synth-punk Christian Lunch to form The Witch Trials. They only released on EP, which Biafra later claimed was the "most evil record I've ever been associated with".

A slimy green claw comes up through the dock

People run away and climbing through the hole

Is a protege of Roger Corman

He photographs this mutant

Says, “I’ll make you a star

Bring me all your friends

And we’ll make a movie out of you on location

Give me five minutes to get my camera, please”

The Witch Trials - Humanoids From The Deep

You might not expect to find the Pet Shop Boys in this post, yet iffypedia informs me that their 1986 Top Ten hit Suburbia was inspired by Penelope Spheeris's movie of the same name, a Roger Corman production...

Pet Shop Boys - Suburbia

Let's close with a little Italian power pop from 2011... a fine tribute.

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #96: Indiana Jones & The Inexorable March Of Time

I went to see the new Indiana Jones film at the weekend. It made me sad.

Not because it's a bad film. It's perfectly acceptable popcorn fare that occasionally recaptures the magic of the earlier movies, if only through the sheer force of Harrison Ford's undimmed charisma. I appear to be in a minority of finding Phoebe Waller-Bridges very, very annoying, and the action sequences relied too much on CGI for my liking, but that's the case with all big budget movies these days. More effort went into movies when I was a kid - building the sets, getting the right stunt people, setting off actual fires and explosions... nowadays it's all done on computers and it feels lazy. The suspension of disbelief required by the audience is the same, only different. Somehow I found it easier to accept cardboard sets and smoke bombs than green screen everything... but that's just Old Man Shaking Fist At Sky.

I was ready for all of the above, so it's not that which made me sad. Seeing Indiana Jones as an old man though... well, nostalgia can work two ways, can't it? It can remind you of your youth... or it can force you (once again) to face up to your own mortality. Harrison Ford will be 81 next week, and it's amazing that he's still cracking the whip and doing a fair few action sequences himself. But still...

Someone said to me recently that the worst part about growing old is that (if you're lucky), you have to watch all your heroes grow old and die before you. Despite hanging up the fedora after this final adventure, Harrison appears to be enjoying a bit of a career resurgence at the moment, and long may it continue. But there will come a point when I have to say goodbye to him, as I have so many others. When you're young, you think it'll all go on forever... lately, every day brings a new reminder that this isn't the case.

I'm reminded of a line from one of my favourite albums of last year. This in turn reminds me of Jim Steinman's Objects In The Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are, but that's more about the power of memory and how it constantly fools you into thinking 1989 was just last week. Instead, James McMurtry sings here that, "There's more in the mirror than there is up ahead," a sentiment I'm finding it hard to come to terms with. He does, however, manage to put a positive spin on the idea...

Now it's all I can do just to get out of bed

There's more in the mirror than there is up ahead

I smile and I nod like I heard what you said every time

So run another rack

Pour another shot

You don't get it back so give it all you got

While you still got a more or less functional body and mind

Soundtracks: House of the Devil

Louise went out last night, so I turned off all the lights and watched a scary film. As you do. 

House of the Devil was filmed in 2009 by director Ti West, but it looks and feels exactly like a horror move from the late 70s or early 80s, from the grainy 16mm film stock to the yellow titles, and the long slow build up to a fast-cut grand guignol finale. Being a horror fan who finds most modern day horrors too glossy and lacking any suspense or atmosphere, this was a real treat.

The period detail was excellent too - from the heroine making calls on a rotary dial phone attached to the wall, through to the clunky walkman that she slipped cassettes into to listen to the track below, one of only three retro tunes featured in the soundtrack (the other two being One Thing Leads To Another by The Fixx and One Of Our Submarines by Thomas Dolby). None of these were big hits, certainly not in the UK anyway, but they were well chosen nevertheless.

For 90 minutes, I was transported back to my teenage bedroom, late on a Friday and Saturday night, when I would choose the scariest movie I could find on the four available channels to keep me going till midnight...

 

Radio Songs #37: "My thoughts on the show"

You've seen Se7en, right? I mean, I'm about to spoil the ending, so... come on, you must have seen it.

Oh well, I guess if you haven't seen it yet, you're probably not planning on watching it since it's got Kevin Spacey in it and we're not allowed to watch Kevin Spacey movies any more, even ones in which he plays the psychopath he actually turned out to be. (To be clear: I don't really think Kevin Spacey is a psychopath. I don't think he's a very nice man, but that wouldn't stop me watching his movies. That's what we call The Morrissey Conundrum round these parts.)

Anyway, previously on "Radio Songs", I began telling you about my time working as a "producer" (fancy name) / "phone op" (actual name) on the late night phone-in show. And I mentioned that the presenters I worked with probably had as many fans as they did haters. It comes with the territory. You might even say that you're not doing your job properly if you're a radio phone-in host and everybody likes you. To be honest, you're probably not doing your job properly as a human being if everybody likes you either.

Here's one little story which illustrates this perfectly.

One night, Presenter 1 received a parcel through the post addressed to the show. This would not be an uncommon thing. People do, on occasion send gifts or home cooking to radio presenters. Smart radio presenters do not eat home cooking from listeners.

This particular parcel had not been hand-delivered. It had come via the Royal Mail. First class post.

Inside was a shoe box. Taped to the box was a note which read: "My thoughts on the show."

What do you think was inside the box?

Bear in mind that we're talking 25 years ago now - simpler times. Nowadays a presenter's first thought may well be: "Is it a bomb?" Back then, we were far more innocent and trusting.

Anyway, it wasn't a bomb.

It wasn't even Gwyneth Paltrow's head. (See, I told you I was going to spoil the end of Se7en. Sorry.)

What do you think was inside the box?

I'll tell you on Monday.

37. Lemonheads - 6ix

It's OK, the Lemonheads spoiled the end of Se7en long before I did...

My Top Ten Film Clip Songs

Ten top songs featuring clips stolen from famous movies...


10. Ned's Atomic Dustbin - Selfish

Opens with a very brief quote from one of my favourite movies: Die Hard.

"Why don't you wake up and smell what you're shovelling?"

9. George Michael - Too Funky

"Would you like me to seduce you?"

Yes, please, Mrs. Robinson.

From The Graduate... in case you were born this century.

8. Kate Bush - Hounds of Love

"It's in the trees - it's coming!"

The clip that opens Kate's 1985 hit is pretty obscure... from a séance scene in the 1957 British horror movie Night of the Demon. Great song though.

7. Queen - Flash

Probably the most famous example of using movie clips in a hit song... but if you strip them out, there's little else in Flash beyond John Deacon's bassline, Brian's typically OTT guitar solo... and, of course, Freddie belting out the chorus like he's strapped to a rocket hurtling into the sun. But it's the quotes that make this track... not least, Brian Blessed giving uncharacteristic understatement to the most famous line of his career: "GORDON'S ALIVE!"

6. Fun Lovin' Criminals - Scooby Snacks

If you're gonna sample movie dialogue, then at least steal from the best... in this case, Quentin Tarantino. Huey & co.'s breakthrough hit sampled numerous clips from two Tarantino classics: Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. The fact that both the movie dialogue - and Huey's lyrics - contained a variety of very bad language somehow wasn't a barrier to airplay... though the edited version did leave very little to the imagination.

5.  Prince - Batdance

Oh, I gotta live one here...

Less a song, more a cobbling together of various tracks from the Batman soundtrack, this always divides both Prince and Batman fans (especially the latter who were expecting Tim Burton's 1989 movie to use Neil Hefti's famous 60s Batman theme tune). Being that I was a huge fan of both back in the day, I devoured Batdance on first hearing: bought the single, the album, the T-shirt... even went to the 6th Form fancy dress disco as the Joker with full face paint (not a good idea - my teenage acne went wild).

Listening back to it now, this track sounds utterly, utterly mental. Only Prince could have got away with it and made such a crazy concoction work in the way it does. The video is insane as well, featuring the kind of language and behaviour that again ONLY PRINCE WOULD GET AWAY WITH. There's even a bit where he appears to repeatedly shout "Get the fuck out!" but I'm reliably informed he says "funk", so that's OK. Incredibly, he took this infernal mishmash to #2 in the UK singles chart - and #1 in the States.

Partyman, from same album, is a much better song (though the video omits the Jack Nicholson quote that opened the original) but it wasn't anywhere near as big a hit.

4. Big Audio Dynamite - E = mc²

The most famous BAD song features their most famous use of movie sampling - with a variety of quotes taken from Nic Roeg's movie Performance starring James Fox and Mick Jagger. Like many people, I used to believe the samples were Michael Caine dialogue... which made more sense of Einstein's equation, if you think about it.

This wasn't the only time BAD using movie sampling though - their entire debut album was peppered with film quotes, including The Good, The Bad & The Ugly; A Fistful of Dollars; and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

3. Guns n Roses - Civil War

I'm prepared to argue that Civil War is GnR's finest moment, and the opening speech, delivered by Strother Martin from the Paul Newman movie Cool Hand Luke, cements that for me.

What we've got here is failure to communicate.

 

Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it.

 

Well, he gets it.

 

I don't like it any more than you men.

Then again, I used to think that that Axl's closing question, "What's so civil about war, anyway?" was evidence of what a deep thinker he really is... so what do I know? Or Bono or Sting delivered that line, I'd be pissing myself...

2. Chumbawamba - Tubthumpin'

The album version of Chumbawamba's biggest / only hit begins with a rousing clip from the movie Brassed Off, featuring the late, great Pete Postlethwaite giving it everything he's got.

The truth is, I thought it mattered. I thought that MUSIC mattered.

 

But does it bollocks! Not compared to how PEOPLE matter.

Sadly, the record company edited that off the single version and went straight into the whiskey drinks and lager drinks, making the song sound like an anthem for pissheads, which went down very nicely in the late 90s... but wasn't the band's intention at all.

1. Primal Scream - Loaded

With Loaded, producer Andrew Weatherall took an early (typically Stonesy) Primal Scream single (I'm Losing More Than I'll Ever Have) and remixed it to the point where it was virtually unrecognisable from the original, using this clip from the Peter Fonda movie The Wild Angels as the hook...

Just what is it that you want to do?

 

We wanna be free - we wanna be free to do what we wanna do

And we wanna get loaded

And we wanna have a good time

Normally, this is the sort of thing that gets my back up, not being the biggest fan of either dance music or remixes. Credit where it's due though, Weatherall created a far more interesting record... one that virtually defined an era. More about that here, if you're interested.

Primal Scream & Andrew Weatherall pulled the same trick a few years later with Kowalski, sampling the movie Vanishing Point. Another great example of this sort of thing done right.



This post took longer than expected, but I'm pretty positive I missed out some other famous tracks featuring dialogue culled from movies. If you can think of any, do let me know in the comments.

 

May #8: I Laughed, I Cried, I Felt My Opinions Vindicated*

(*Of course, the very notion of having one's opinions vindicated is a spurious one, since opinions are subjective anyway and you can't ever prove a subjective point of view empirically true. Still.)

I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 yesterday. For anyone who's seen the first film (and quite a few of you have, given recent posts about its soundtrack), I would recommend it. It's as funny as Volume 1, but proved a surprisingly emotional experience for me too. I hadn't expected that. Since I became a father, films that focus on father / son relationships often make me cry, but this one caught me out. I was sobbing at the end. (God help me if I ever try to watch Field Of Dreams again: that film used to destroy me BEFORE I became a dad. There's no telling what it'd do to me now.)

This is a music blog though, so let's get to the tune. I've discussed more than once here how movie soundtracks can make even the cheesiest old songs cool. I've also shared with you my idea that if an alien came down to earth tomorrow, it would be unable to tell the (subjective) difference between Radiohead and The Village People, The Clash and Rick Astley, Pink Floyd and Ed Sheeran. It'd all just be notes and words to the alien, and shorn of any cultural context, the little green man or woman would be just as likely to dig Billy Joel as Rag 'n' Bone Man.

The writers of GOTG V2 understand this very well; they even turn it into a plot element which the film hinges on. No real spoilers here, but when an alien god arrives on Earth, he reaches the conclusion that the song below is “possibly Earth’s finest composition”. And who am I to argue with that?

8. Looking Glass - Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)

My Top Ten Wizard of Oz Songs

With Sam Raimi's Wizard of Oz prequel in cinemas this week, I thought I'd cobble together ten songs (mostly) inspired by the land over the rainbow... 

Special mention, of course, to Toto...


10. Squeeze - No Place Like Home

Domestic violence, Difford & Tilbrook style. Get whacked round the head by their ruby slippers.

9. Emit Bloch - Dorothy

Probably not about the Dorothy...or any of her friends.

Just be happy yourself
Don't worry 'bout nobody else
You've got problems of your own, she said
Quit your nosing around...

8. Everclear - The Good Witch of the North

A lot soppier than the title lets on, and surprisingly upbeat for the Everclear lads. Most of their songs are about Wicked Witches...

7. The Flaming Lips - If I Only Had A Brain

Wayne Coyne's version is scary-genius.

6. James - Scarecrow

It's hard to believe James were around back in 1985, in the days when everything was still in black and white.

5. Mumford & Son - Little Lion Man

OK, so I couldn't find a song called The Cowardly Lion. I did think of throwing in the awesome Coward of the County instead. But I'm saving that for later. Still, any excuse to play my favourite from Mumford and his boys. (That second album was a bit of a water-treader, but the first still holds up.)

4. The Avett Brothers - Tin Man

They see pain but they don't feel it. You can slap them as much as you like.

3. Scissor Sisters - Return To Oz

True munchkins...

He said, "Is this the return to Oz?"
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town

2. Judy Garland - Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Timeless. As is Eva Cassidy's version. And, as I discovered earlier this week, also the inspiration for the chorus of Starman by David Bowie. The leap of between octaves on "Some... where" and "Star...man" is identical.

1. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Supposedly the first film lyricist Bernie Taupin ever saw, The Wizard of Oz obviously had a profound impact.

The b-side, when this was released as a 7", was called 'Screw You'. Which leads us nicely up Eminem's own Yellow Brick Road...



Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...

My Top Ten Action Movie Songs

OK, here's the deal - none of these songs were featured in the movie in question and no theme tunes are allowed. They all just share their name with an action movie... or occasionally were written about one, after the fact.


10. The Eagles - Desperado

Probably the least appropriate song on this list, about as far from the Antonio Banderas ass-kicker in spirit as you can get. Still, if you dig the Eagles (unlike The Dude) it's a great song.

9. Public Enemy - Terminator X To The Edge Of Panic

Public Enemy: Scarier Than Arnie Ever Could Be.

8. The Alarm - The Rock

When your opening line goes like this...

I'm a man who bites hard on the bullet of silence

...who needs Nicolas Cage or Sean Connery?

See also The Rock by the mighty, mighty Harry Chapin.

7. The Ramones - Commando

First rule is: The laws of Germany
Second rule is: Be nice to your mommy
Third rule is: Don't talk to commies
Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis

How can anyone not love the Ramones?

6. The Sound - Total Recall

Lost 80s classic. Don't worry if you can't remember it - there's probably a hole in your memory.

5. Ben Folds - Rocky

 Ben's Rocky was a runner, not a boxer... a lover, not a fighter, to quote Michael.

4. Julian Cope - Mad Max

From the appropriately named Autogeddon. Julian doesn't need to hold a gun up to your head.

3. The Gorillaz - Dirty Harry

From the band who also brought you Clint Eastwood. Damon must be a fan.

2. Guyz Nite - Die Hard

A tribute to the greatest action movie ever... yippe-ki-yay!

Remember when we first met John McClane?
Argyle picked him up from the plane,
And took him down to Nakatomi Tower...
To meet with Holly.

He came to get her back and to be her man,
But Hans and his buddies fucked up the plan,
And that's about when everything went sour
At the Christmas party.

And the terrorists were over-zealous,
But it was sweet when they killed Ellis!
And, with a little help from Allen,
John McClane kicked ass!

This version has a verse for each of the first four Die Hard movies... I'm waiting patiently for the one with a new fifth verse.

1. Fight Like Apes - (Waking Up With) Robocop

Fight Like Apes are the best "new" band I've discovered in the last 12 months. "New" to me, at least, though they're already two albums in. They're one of those rare bands with crazy song titles... where the songs actually live up to (and in most cases are better than) the titles. Pay attention, Sufjan Stevens! This one, from their most recent album, 'The Body of Christ & The Legs of Tina Turner' is a great male-female argument song.

I remember when you criticised me
About picking The Face over Mr. T
But I remember when you took off
All of your clothes...

If waking up beside me
Feels so bleeding bad
Then waking up with Robocop
Is a lesson to be had

Hear more Fight Like Apes here.



Those were my action movie favourites... which is your Nakatomi Plaza?

My Top Ten Movies of 2012

This doesn't have always to be a music blog. And where else was I going to compile my year's best flicks?


But first, as is traditional...


My Top Five Worst Movies of 2012

(The usual waiver applies: I'm sure there were worse movies released this year. Fortunately I didn't see them. Lee seems to have seen plenty of them though.)

5. Taken 2

Utterly preposterous, watered down PG sequel. Neeson is still ace though. Even when he's guessing the bad guy's secret HQ using a map, a matchstick and a moudly stick of celery.

4. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Guy Ritchie and Sherlock Holmes still don't mix. Not even RDJ could save this.

3. Alex Cross

Look, there was nothing else on that week, OK? And I figured Kiss The Girls & Along Came A Spider were decent enough flicks... but they both had Morgan Freeman. The best this had going for it was Jack from Lost gurning and flexing the veins in his neck to prove how MAD he was. 

2. The Raid

Don't believe the hype. An Indonesian Die Hard this ain't.

1. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Surely it couldn't be worse than the first one? What's that?

After seeing this one, the Academy awarded Nic Cage an Oscar for the first one... posthumously ('cos his career is officially dead).

OK... enough with the rubbish. Let's get on to the good stuff!


My Top Ten Movies of 2012


10. Seeking A Friend For The End of the World

Beating Bond, Batman and Bourne (all fine movies, but each missing that essential "must watch again" quality that guarantees a place on this list), this small, underplayed romcom took one of my favourite genres and swerved the obvious cliches. Steve Carrell is so good here, he even makes me stop hating Keira Knightley.

9. Argo

Smart, funny, nail-gnawingly exciting. The resurrection of Ben Affleck is complete. 

8. The Muppets

Just made me feel all warm and fuzzy, inside and out.

7. The Avengers

Looking back, I didn't love it quite as much as everybody else... yet it was still a far better movie than it might have been under anyone other than Joss Whedon. In many ways, Chronicle was a more interesting superhero movie... but it was still great to see the Avengers united on screen at last. And that Mark Ruffalo Hulk movie must happen soon!

6. Carnage

What do you get if you lock Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly and Christoph Waltz in an apartment for a couple of hours? The breakdown of polite society. More exciting than Iron Man, Thor and Cap hitting smacking each other in the head for two hours.

5. The Amazing Spider-Man

Better than Spider-Man 3, not as good as Spider-Man 2 (what is?) In the end then, it's about as good as the film it retells... though for entirely different reasons. But it's Spidey... he'll always be my hero.

4. The Imposter

Utterly insane documentary. Had it been a fictional screenplay, I would have cried "no way!", but truth is more jaw-droppingly unbelievable than fiction.

3. Ted 

Much funnier than it ought to have been, though this wins a place in the Top 3 by virtue of Flash! alone.

2. Looper

I love a good time travel movie... especially one with the balls to throw away any chance of a happy ending or potential sequel. 

1. Cabin In The Woods

The last word in post-modern horror films. Lock the crypt, Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon just laid the genre to rest. 

Those were my favourite flicks of 2012... which one would get you back in the multiplex?

My Top Ten Star Wars Songs

With the news that George Lucas has sold Star Wars to Disney, there's a whole new trilogy to look forward (?) to in a few years time... we can but hope they'll be better than the last three.

Still, here's 10 songs you might hear covered by the Cantina band... but be warned, most of these are pretty damned obscure.


10. Ringo Deathstarr - Kaleidoscope

Points for the band name at least. It was this or Hoth-house flowers...

9. Weird Al Yankovic - Yoda

Weird Al parodies The Kinks. Mildly amusing the first time you hear it.

8. Frigid Vinegar - Dogmonaut 2000 (Is There Anyone Out There?)

Obscure 90s indie that samples the trumpets from It's Not Unusual and begins thus...

I knew this kid named Freddie Skywalker, 
A YTS Jedi with his own flying saucer...

7. Fight Like Apes - Lightsabre Cock Sucking Blues

Not advisable under any circumstances.

6. Blink 182 - A New Hope

And of course I'd do anything for her
I'd search the moons of Endor
I'd even walk naked through
The deserts of Tatooine

Princess Leia, where are you tonight?
And who's laying there by your side?

5. Ash - Lose Control

The opening track on their debut release begins with the sound effect of a Tie Fighter. The album is called 1977... the year Star Wars was released and Ash were born.

4. The Real Thing - Can You Feel The Force?

Good old disco: never shy to jump on a bandwagon. The Real Thing had three great singles. This was the third, and least. But I'll let them have a pass because the other two were stone cold classics.

3. The Supernaturals - Star Wars

Sadly unavailable anywhere online, this obscure Supernaturals b-side (from their excellent single I Wasn't Built To Get Up) tells of a young man forced to choose between Star Wars and his girlfriend. Turns out it's no competition...

2. Neon Neon - I Told Her On Alderaan

AKA Gruff Rhys of the Super Furry Animals plus some bloke called Boom Bip. Obviously he let R2D2 choose that name for him.

1. Bellatrix - Jedi Wannabe

Bellatrix is a star in the Orion constellation. They were also a turn-of-the-millennium Icelandic indie band... and this was their finest 3 minutes.




Sometimes I set myself these Top Tens as a challenge. Could you do any better?

My Top Ten James Bond Themes

Apparently there's a new James Bond film out this week. I know, I wish they'd spend a little more money promoting it too, it can be very easy for low-budget films like this to slip through the cracks and not find their audience at the multiplex. Still, if you can't find a cinema in your local area that's taking a punt on it, here's a reminder of some of 007's greatest hits. I actually quite like Adele's new theme song... but not as much as these...


10. Jack White & Alicia Keys - Another Way To Die (from Quantum of Solace)

A little too derivative to be considered classic, but Jack White has a License To Kill.

9. a-ha - The Living Daylights

I never rated Timothy Dalton, he's probably my least favourite Bond (Lazenby might clinch it... were On Her Majesty's Secret Service not such a great film despite him). That whole "new man" thing was such an 80s blunder for a character like Bond. This was by far the best thing about The Living Daylights.

8. Rita Coolidge - All Time High (from Octopussy)

Written by John Barry (and Tim Rice), hence: ace. Even better: the Pulp cover version. 

Speaking of Pulp, how much better would Tomorrow Never Dies have been if their theme tune had been chosen over Sheryl Crow's?

7. Shirley Bassey - Diamonds Are Forever

John Barry again, with Don Black on lyrics, and - of course - the immortal Dame Shirley on diamonds.

6. Nancy Sinatra - You Only Live Twice

So good, Robbie Williams stole its timeless intro for his second biggest hit. Barry again.

5. Paul McCartney & Wings - Live & Let Die

Possibly the first Bond film I ever saw, so Roger Moore and his eyebrows were officially MY Bond... as a kid, at least. I like Macca's original, but I do prefer Axl's sneering cover. It's just so nasty.

4. Shirley Bassey - Goldfinger

Barry, Bassey... and a young Jimmy Page on guitar. Or so legend has it. 

3. Louis Armstrong - We Have All The Time In The World (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

Whenever I'm stuck behind a car driving at 20 miles an hour, I call the driver a 'Louis'. Well, it's better than some of the words I might choose.

As mentioned previously, though I don't particularly rate Lazenby, OHMSS has possibly the best Bond plot ever. That final scene is just a killer. And this - John Barry and Hal David... well, nobody does it better.

Or do they...?

2. Carly Simon - Nobody Does It Better (from The Spy Who Loved Me)

Written by Marvin Hamlisch and Carol Bayer Sager (of You're Moving Out Today fame), this is the song that most says Bond to me... well, apart from our far too obvious Number One. (Aimee Mann does a lovely cover too.)

1. John Barry - The James Bond Theme

Not the Moby version, the David Arnold version or the one where some idiot decided it might be a good idea to let random tone-deaf Irish egomaniacs with a God Complex have a go. The original... and still the best.




Those were my best Bonds... but which is your Nobody Does It Better?

My Top Ten Songs Named After Hitchcock Movies

After last week's Top Ten Psycho Songs, I was inspired to compile a list of songs that share a name with other famous Hitchcock movies...

10. Duran Duran - Notorious

Hands up if you, like me, used to sing "Mo-mo-monotonous!" whenever this came on the radio. Looking back through nostalgic goggles, it's not that bad.

Is it?

9. Ash - Spellbound

Tim Wheeler's got us in his spell...

8. The Libertines - Vertigo

There may be a U2 song with the same title. You won't find it here.

7. Foo Fighters - Rope

Wonder if the Foos recorded this in one take, as Hitch tried to do with Rope?

6. Television - Torn Curtain

Very unsettling, like all the best Hitchcock movies.

5. Screamin' Jay Hawkins - Frenzy

Great lip-gargling on this track from 1957.

4. Beth Orton - Shadow Of A Doubt

It's true that I have got a head full
Of voices saying the first thing that's in their heart
And I go to throw a ball with my best intention
And it gets caught up and carried away
In completely the opposite direction

3. Elvis Presley - Suspicion

From the legendary songwriting partnership of Pomus & Shuman. Gee. Knee. Us.

2. Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman - Psycho

Of course, the Elvis Costello version is better, but I made that a Number One already. So here's the wonderful Amanda Palmer with her slightly less wonderful hubby on vocals. It shouldn't work... and yet, it kinda does.

Download this, free & legal, along with Amanda's version of Lana Del Rey's Video Games, and more... by clicking here.

1. Elbow - The Birds

Like much of Guy Garvey's songwriting, there's a drama here that's really quite sinister...

The birds are the keepers of our secret
As they saw us where we lay
In the deepest grass of springtime
In a reckless guilty haze

OK, those were my favourite songs that share a title with Hitchcock films. Do you have a Rear Window, North By North West or To Catch A Thief in your record collection?

My Top Ten Psycho Songs

"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."

10. Space - Mister Psycho

Hey, remember Space? Bunch of Scouse psychos.

9. Tindersticks - 4.48 Psychosis

At 4:48
When sanity visits
For one hour and twelve minutes I am in my right mind
When it has passed I shall be gone again

8. The Ramones - Psycho Therapy

If ever there was a band who needed to self-medicate...

7. Spearmint - Psycho Magnet

You are the star
I am a psycho-magnet

6. Imelda May - Psycho

She goes with a psycho.

5. Richard Thompson - Psycho Street

Richard Thompson looks through a mirror darkly crack'd and sees the Neighbours theme tune, distorted and disturbing.

A man has an inflatable doll made that looks exactly like his wife
He murders his wife, dissolves her body in acid, and marries the doll
Three years later he leaves her for another doll

4. Black Box Recorder - Child Psychology

Life is unfair: Kill yourself, or get over it.

3. Huey Lewis & The News - Hip To Be Square

If you don't know what this is doing here, you probably shouldn't click the link above. specially if you're offended by gratuitous violence against yuppies.

In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

2. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer

I hate people when they're not polite.

1. Elvis Costello - Psycho

Many artists have covered Leon Payne's dark and haunting first person psycho narrative, but Elvis is the one who nails it for me. Sends shivers down my spine every time... especially the bleak twist at the end.



Those are the songs that set my sanity slipping. Which one sends you to the rubber room?