Snapshots #380: A Top Twelve Songs About American Automobiles

Here are this week's answers, with a Lincoln at the top of the page.

I really wanted to include this... but it would have been just too obvious.

Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen - Hot Rod Lincoln

Here's the ones that were a little less obvious...

12. Lennon's Candyman. 

Sammy (Davis Jr.)? He belongs to John. 

Sammy Johns - Chevy Van

11. Crocodile, crocodile... I'm a big fan!

Lyle Lyle Crocodile! Love it!

Lyle Lovett - Pontiac

10. Take a journey across Grandaddy's lake.

Grandaddy had a Crystal Lake. Take a trip!

Crystal Trip - Stingray

9. Pull to slow your descent.

The Rip Chords - Hey Little Cobra

8. Follows Ray Parker into the All Terrain Armoured Transport. Sirius, Polaris, Antares.

Ray Parker is followed by Jr. The All Terrain Armoured Transport was also known as a Walker, as Star Wars fans will know. Sirius, Polaris and Antares are all stars.

JR Walker & The All Stars - (I’m a) Road Runner

7. Groundhog: wood... seer. 

A groundhog is also known as a woodCHUCK. A seer is a prophet.

Chuck Prophet - Ford Econoline

6. Sean & Julian.

Second Lennon clue of the day. Sean and Julian are John's children.

John's Children - Mustang Ford

5. Bald, bony, rather confused fella.

"Bald, bony" was an anagram.

Bob Dylan - From A Buick 6

4. Spring flowers (purple).

The March Violets - Eldorado

3. Cock-up at the Ministry of Defence.

Cock-up the MOD to make OMD...

OMD - Tesla Girls

2. Dark Side of the Dean.

Dark Side of The Moon meets Dean Martin.

Moon Martin - Cadillac Walk

1. One from the Spin Doctors.

The Spin Doctors sang about Two Princes.

Prince - Little Red Corvette

The Snapshots Drive-Thru will re-open next Saturday morning at 8.30...

Self Help For Cynics #35: People Ain't No Good

Lloyd Cole - People Ain't No Good

Last week, we talked about hating people, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't really hate people, but actually it's "all just an act to paper over insecurity, a tragic lack of self-confidence and a Grand Canyon of loneliness in perpetual conflict with an innate desire to be on my own".

Felt - All the People I Like Are Those That Are Dead

Just as I thought I'd talked myself out of misanthropy, C replied...

You're in good company Rol, I think nearly all the best people I know are people-haters, which doesn't really make a lot of sense and yet somehow it does!

Richard Cheese - People = Shit

And then I remembered the postcard at the top of this page, which Louise bought me some time ago; it's pinned on the wall next to my desk. You may find it interesting to note that Louise ordered two copies. There's also one pinned up on the wall next to her desk. Make of that what you will...

I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

Depeche Mode - People Are People

The jury's still out on hating people then, but here's something I thing we can all agree on: people are very, very annoying.

James - Born Of Frustration

But why is this so?

"They just are!" I heard you cry.

Napoleon - I Try To Despise The Ugly People (But The Beautiful Ones Keep Turning Me Down)

OK, let's start with an easier question. Why does our brain get annoyed?

To answer that, we need an MC...

Ring the bell, school's back in!

MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This

Not that MC. Here's MC Flux, psychologist, neuroscientist and science communicator from the University of Colorado, as quoted in the Grauniad. He says annoyance is “moderately negative, and moderate arousal... it’s basically a flag, saying: ‘Something is wrong, and I should probably do something about it.’”

Green Day - Warning

Now, I'm tiptoeing around this subject because I don't want to get onto anger until I've read sweary Dr. Faith's next book on my reading list, Unfuck Your Anger. And clearly anger is the next step on from annoyance. However, it should come as no surprise that our old friend the amygdala is the main culprit responsible for such emotions. Healthline says,

Anger starts with the amygdala stimulating the hypothalamus, much like in the fear response. In addition, parts of the prefrontal cortex may also play a role in anger.

Frustration, such as facing roadblocks while trying to achieve a goal, can also trigger the anger response.

Now we know what's going on in our brain... but we've still not answered the big question: why are people so annoying? Or should that be: why do I find people so annoying? Are they the same question... or two very different questions?

The Doors - People Are Strange

That Guardian article I mentioned earlier highlights four key answers to the first question: "uncouth habits, inconsiderate acts, intrusive behaviors and norm violations". I think a lot of these come down to what I'd label a lack of empathy, emotional awareness... or just plain arrogance. And once we get onto the subject of arrogance, I need another post. Or ten.

Dean Wareham - Heartless People

Meanwhile, therapist Julia Kristina has an uncomfortable answer to the second question...

Those unfavourable qualities, habits, or tendencies of someone else we react negatively to are really just our own shortcomings that we have turned our back on and refuse to own up to.

They always clap on the wrong beat
They're wearin' loafers on their feet
Greedy awful people!

The Stooges - Greedy Awful People

Ouch. I think I'm going to have to come back to that one as well. But just in case anyone here thinks of me as an annoying person, I consulted Indeed for some tips on how to eliminate my own annoying behaviour...

Be an active listener

This is actually really easy if you don't have much to say for yourself.

The Ramones - Learn To Listen

Focus on the positives

Easier said than done, as discussed some time ago.

Sam Cooke - Ac-cent-tchu-ate The Positive 

Speak at a normal volume

Louise does sometimes get embarrassed when we're out in public (not often, to be honest) as she claims I speak louder than I need to. I don't think I do, but then I am partially deaf...

OMD - Talking Loud And Clear

Avoid interrupting others

Science For People butts in a this point...

Many annoying people don’t even realize they’re being annoying in the first place. Annoying people might violate various social norms, be incompatible with others, try too hard to make others laugh, or even take a phone call while in a quiet library.

Did you know that you could even be the “irritating person” because you’re too positive?

Oh, yes. I knew this.

This type of positivity is known as toxic positivity—and it’s a real thing.

You don't need to tell me twice. There's a post in that as well. 

Georgie Fame - Bird In A World Of People

Clearly, I've only scratched the surface of our central question: Why are people so annoying? There's a lot more to uncover in future weeks...

Snapshots #289: A Top Ten Loud Songs

Yesterday's post started with James Hetfield from Metallica. Today, because I couldn't find any pictures of Lemmy or the dudes from Megadeth taking a photo, here's Ozzy.

And here are ten LOUD songs... sort of. 

10. Joel makes a good impression... but he's not a footballer.

Billy Joel combines with the impressionist Rory Bremner to give the name of a Scottish footballer. And the former Rockpile member (also Scottish) responsible for this 1981 classic...

Billy Bremner - Loud Music In Cars

9. Collected names.

Didn't you ever collect autographs?

Autograph - Loud And Clear

8. Dave & Roger bought a small-holding...

...and they became The Beat Farmers.

The Beat Farmers - Dim Lights, Thick Smoke (and Loud, Loud Music)

7. Find the answer in the internet: go to yahoo.

Find the answer in the internet: go TO YAHoo.

Toyah - Be Proud Be Loud (Be Heard)

6. Spider-Man spins like crazy.

Webb Wilder - Loud Music

5. Holey guitarist relocates to the North West.

The guitarist in Hole is Melissa Auf der Maur. Manchester is in the North West.

Melissa Manchester - Don't Cry Out Loud

I would have gone with the Elkie Brooks version, except Elkie featured here a couple of weeks back... and she never sang the song with The Muppets.

4. Unlike every other one that features on these pages, these guys were the definite article.

Lots of bands appear here, but these guys are THE Band.

The Band - Thinkin' Out Loud

3. Get Mrs A New Job sorted out.

"Mrs A New Job" is an anagram.

James Brown - Say It Loud - I'm Black And I'm Proud (Pts.1 & 2)

2. Shifting the string section after midnight is always a problem.

Hard work, moving the orchestra around in the dark.

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Talking Loud And Clear

1. Come see me at six, say hello after dinner. It's all inside.

Come see ME AT six, say helLO AFter dinner. 

Meat Loaf - For Crying Out Loud

More next Saturday, though probably a little quieter...

Celebrity Jukebox #30: Louise Brooks

On Wednesday, George complained about the "recent lurch to modern times" this feature had taken by featuring contemporary celebrities such as Bill Bixby and Nerys Hughes (God help him when I do my Scarlett Johansson post). And so, to keep Celebrity Jukebox's biggest fan happy, I've chosen someone today he should be more familiar with.

Louise Brooks was a Ziegfeld Follies dancer who signed a five year movie deal with Paramount in 1925 and became one of the biggest female stars of the Silent Movie era, although her career never really transitioned into the talkies and her star fell quite dramatically in the 30s.

Coincidentally, I came across a song that I never knew was about Louise Brooks while compiling my Top Ten Greek Mythology Songs last week. The intro to the video of OMD's 1991 single Pandora's Box tells how the Louise Brooks movie of the same name was banned by Adolf Hitler as "degenerate art". I bet he kept a copy for himself though. The song tells Louise's life story far better than I could...

Born in Kansas on an ordinary plain

Ran to New York but ran away from fame

Only seventeen when all your dreams come true

But all you wanted was someone to undress you

And all the stars you kissed could never ease the pain

Still the grace remains and though the face has changed

You're still the same

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark don't mention Louise by name though. To find an actual lyrical mention, we have to listen to 15 minutes of post-Fish Marillion...

Marillion - Interior Lulu

As you lie there on your bed

Beneath the face of Louise Brooks

With your makeup and your teddy bear

And your C.S. Lewis books

Bad seed

You're a bad seed

Alternatively, if you're really brave, you might try Germany's answer to Ultravox...

Deine Lakaien - A Fish Called Prince

And Pious told me even more

About stars that shine forever on

The times of Bara, Gish, Louise Brooks

And above all his queen called June

I presume he's talking about June Whitfield.

Or... you might subject yourself to some Campag Velocet. Now I'm just the right age to have been regularly reading the NME when they proclaimed Campag Velocet the next big thing. Which probably explains why nobody's heard of them since.

Campag Velocet - Sauntry Sly Chic

Louise brooks bob

Rouge red lipstick

Beauty spot

She's got what it takes

What I find most interesting about that track is that it climaxes thus...

I'm on the chaise longue 

I'm on the chaise longue

I'm on the chaise longue 

I'm on the chaise longue

Which makes me wonder if Wet Leg were reading the NME when they were 3.

Wet Leg - Chaise Longue

(Regardless, that's a million times better than anything Campag Velocet ever produced.)

Then we have John "Butter Salesman" Lydon, arriving stateside in his Y-fronts...

Public Image Ltd - Bettie Page

When Bettie Page was on the run

And my west was way out west

And Louise Brooks speak the crooks

The greatest pornographic country in the world

Welcome to America USA

Arriving in my underpants

Land of the free

Home of the naked

And the brave

And for all you 80s kids out there (not George), some Optimus Prime...

Robots In Disguise - Don't Copy Me

Was your hair cut by the council?

Two in one, Louise Brookes and Shirley Temple

One Madonna glove and a jacket too tight

Are you wearing your whole badge collection out tonight?

That made me smile.

But I think today's winner is Nashville-based, Boston born "street rocker" Tom Ovans, who... and I'm just spit-balling here... might own a Bob Dylan record. Or two.

Well, she looked like Louise Brooks from one of them old silent movies

I think it was the one where she gets beaten to death

But when her eyes caught mine down in that city of crime

I knew it was a day I could never forget

Snapshots #255: A Top Ten Greek Mythology Songs

This is Gal Gadot, the 21st Century Wonder Woman. Yesterday, we had Linda Carter, the 20th Century version. Wonder Woman is a superhero who traces her origins back to Greek Mythology. And here are ten songs that do the same...

10. Pucker up.

Pogue is an Irish kiss. As in Pogue Mahone, which tells you to kiss my... well, you know the rest.

The Pogues - The Wake of the Medusa

9. Meryl, Julianne, Nicole.

Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman starred in the movie The Hours.

The Hours - Icarus

Great song. Great band. Much missed.

8. Halfway through, it stops moving.

Midway Still - Cyclops

Extra points if you got that one.

7. What are real berks worth?

"Real berks worth" is an anagram.

Walker Brothers - Orpheus

6. Canadian city haunted by Russian ghost.

Regina is the capital of the Saskatchewan province.

A ghost is a spectre. In Russian, that might be a Spektor.

Regina Spektor - Oedipus  

5. If the Hulk played violin and cello, this is what he'd call his group.

He'd be incredible with the strings, don't you think?

The Incredible String Band - The Minotaur's Song

4. When Elvis Costello meets Kathy Kirby, they drop their aliases.

Elvis Costello is really Declan McManus. 

Kathy Kirby was really Catherine Ethel O'Rourke.

Put them together and you get...

Declan O'Rourke - Zeus & Apollo

3. Late celebrity.

Midnight Star - Midas Touch

2. Confused mod.

That may be the shortest anagram I've ever featured.

OMD - Pandora's Box

1. Popeye boldly goes to kiss Kelly.

Gene Hackman played Popeye Doyle in The French Connection.

Gene Roddenberry created Star Trek.

Gene Simmons is in Kiss.

And finally, we have Gene Kelly.

Gene - Olympian

It's a Herculean task, but there will be more Snapshots next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #72 - The Answers

It may not feel much like a Pleasant Valley Sunday on the weekend we said goodbye to this gentlemen, but he certainly left us with some amazing musical memories.

RIP, Peter Tork, you and your pals made us all daydream believers...

As I type this on Saturday evening, we've had no takers for this week's number 10... which might be my first win in quite some time. Otherwise, Lynchie took the crown, with admirable support from Charity Chic, Walter, Chris, Rigid Digit and a last minute save by C.

10. King Midas's stooge sounds like the bloke up above.

King Midas turned everything he touched to solid gold.

Mo was one of the Three Stooges.

The gentleman at the top of yesterday's post was David Soul

Mo Solid Gold - David's Soul

If you've never heard that before, it's worth 4 minutes of your time.

9. Sly Lincoln reveals what you have to do (to get the answer to this clue).

Sly Lincoln is an anagram.

Lyn Collins - Think (About It)

8. Pioneering agriculturist mishears Sister Sledge's greatest tune.

Jethro Tull was the pioneering agriculturist who invented the seed drill.

Sister Sledge sang He's The Greatest Dancer.

Jethro Tull - Said She Was A Dancer

7. Maureen's below-the-belt punch is a knock out at 8.30 on a Saturday morning.

Maureen, shortened, is Mo.

A below the belt punch would be Lo.

A knock-out is a K-O.

8.30 on Saturday morning is when yesterday's post went live.

Moloko - The Time Is Now

6. Rod dates a feminist... and they both refuse to get undressed.

Imagine if Rod Stewart & Germaine Greer went on a date. I doubt either of them would take their clothes off.

Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off

5. Arse / Elbow confusion for Destiny's Child's Perfect Cousin.

Kelly Rowland was in Destiny's Child.

My Perfect Cousin was Kevin.

If your confuse your arse with your elbow, you might not know your bottom half from your top.

Kevin Rowland - I Can't Tell The Bottom From The Top

4. Is there life here? (Sorry, hang on a second...) IS THERE LIFE HERE!?! 

Is there life on Mars? Do I need to repeat that, louder?

M/A/R/R/S - Pump Up The Volume

3. Where the wildcatters found oil... devilish women buy the drinks.

Wildcatters looked for oil anywhere, but cats are Kitties and oil comes from wells.

Honky tonks are bars.

If god didn't make the angels, chances are the devil did.

Kitty Wells - It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels

2. Oh My Dog! B-29.

If Oh My God is OMG in today's parlance, Oh My Dog would be OMD.

B-29 was the first Boeing Superfortress bomber to drop an atomic bomb. The plane was named Enola Gay after the pilot's mother.

OMD - Enola Gay

1. Supermarket delivery for Hazel.

A supermarket delivery might come in a van from Morrison's.

Hazel is another name for brown eyes.

Isn't it reassuring than Van Morrison even looked like a Grumpy Old Man when he was a baby?

I'm A Believer you'll be back for more next Saturday...

Hot 100 #66

Turns out there are quite a few Route 66 Bands out there, most of them doing covers and tribute acts. But are there any "non-Route 66" 66 songs? Quite a few, as it turns out...

Martin reminds us of 66 by The Afghan Whigs... good tune.

C offers the great PJ Harvey - 66 Promises...

Charity Chic grudgingly kicks in 1966 & All That by Half Man Half Biscuit... one of the better football songs in my collection... although it's about much more than the silly game when you listen to it.

Jim Dubai offers another football-related tune, with a 66-related artist... Mas Que Nada - Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66.

Rigid Digit throws in an extra 6 for Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast. Second Iron Maiden tune this month, but this one is PROPER metal, complete with a silly spoken intro. Class.

On the subject of 666, can I add: Route 666 by The Hamsters, another Route 666 by The Comsat Angels, 666 Conducer by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Your Sweet 666 by HIM, and 666 Post from the latest Mark Kozelek album?

Oh, and Incident at 66.6 FM by Public Enemy... and Nineteen666 by The Jesus & Mary Chain, which combines football with satanism... apt, in my opinion.

I also found the following lurking in the dusty corners of my collection...

OMD - 66 And Fading

Primal Scream - Autobahn 66

The Troggs - 66-5-4-3-2-1 (another phone number song!)

The Boys From Nowhere - 1966

This week's winning tune was obvious from the outset though.

Originally recorded in 1946 by Nat King Cole and the King Cole Trio, the song was transformed into a rock n roll standard by Chuck Berry a decade later. Since then it's been recorded by everybody from Them to Depeche Mode to Jason and The Scorchers... most famously, I guess by Mick & Keef who arguably made it their own.

Over to Lynchie, who, until he gives the public what they demand and starts writing a blog of his own, is always welcome to contribute a paragraph or two to mine...

The best version of "Route 66" is to be found on the "Got Live If You Want It!" EP released in Summer 1965. Honest!
Back in 1999, I saw The Stones live for the last time. There were 2 stages - the main stage and a smaller one (which they crossed to via a small bridge - it was the Bridges to Babylon tour!) slap bang in the middle of the crowd . They blew the place away with the the small stage opener - "Route 66". It was righteous - like hearing them do their R&B stuff for the first time!

Onto 65 next week, and with no blatantly obvious contenders (unlike this week), it could be anybody's game. Your suggestions are welcome as always...

Hot 100 Countdown #88

I set quite a challenge with my Number 88 choice, offering ten points for a correct guess, figuring that nobody would stand a chance.

Nobody did.

However, a couple of you came VERY close... so close in fact that you revealed to me something I didn't even know about the song I'd chosen. It's not an original. It's a parody! More on that in a moment...

First, the runners-up...

The Swede suggested Rocket 88, one of the forerunners of rock 'n' roll, originally recorded by Jackie Brenston and his Delta Cats... with a little help from Ike Turner (Brenston was Ike's saxophonist). It's been covered since by all manner of rock 'n' roll greats, but its place in the history of rock 'n' roll would surely guarantee it a place in this countdown... if it wasn't for a certain other song we'll get to shortly.

Other possibilities included...

ELO - Latitude 88 North

OMD - 88 Seconds In Greensboro (Rigid Digit's second choice)

Cher - 88 Degrees

Sum 41 - 88 (thanks to C)

And lyrically...

Placebo - Hang On To Your  ("Two fat ladies on my back and now it's 88")

Paul Weller - Two Fat Ladies (imagine sitting between Weller and Brian Molko at the bingo)

Bruce Springsteen - Spirits In The Night (in which Bruce takes us up to Greasy Lake via Route 88)


All of which brings us to my choice, an irresistible hymn to all the geeky girls the singer had dated in the past. It's a track I stumbled across when it went viral a few years back and being a bit of a geek myself, I loved all the lyrical references...

Colleen was from a comic book 

Her spandex bursting at the seams 

Belinda dressed up all in brass 

Fulfilled my Princess Leia dreams 

Connie turned me on to Sandman 

Death had never looked so fine 

Gretchen was a vampire slay'r 

Showed me her stake, I showed her mine 

Adam Fromm - 88 Lines About 44 Fangirls

Of course, I really should do my research. Because up until last week, I had no idea that this was actually a parody of a much older song by an American band from the 70s and 80s called The Nails. I do not claim to know everything, so I'll happily tip my hat (and award points to) Alyson, Rigid Digit and Swiss Adam for directing me towards the original... which I also now love... though not quite as much as the Adam Fromm version. You never get over your first love.

Eighty-seven? No definites, it's a pretty open field. Any ideas?