Celebrity Jukebox #130: Syd Barrett

The recent peloton of bike posts over at Charity Chic blog forced me to dig out one of my few favourite Pink Floyd songs, although I think it's fair to say that it's more of a Syd Barrett solo...

Pink Floyd - Bike

I have to confess I'm not the biggest expert on Syd - I'm sure some of you know far more about him than I do - but I often think it's a shame he was (to quote iffypedia) "ousted" from the Floyd, as to me they became a far less interesting combo without him. 

And it feels like 1974
Syd Barrett's last session, he can't sing anymore
He's gonna have to be Roger now for the rest of his life

Robyn Hitchcock - 1974

His struggle with mental health and gradual decline to a reclusive existence living in his mum's old semi is well documented...

Television Personalities - I Know Where Syd Barrett Lives

...but he's remembered fondly by many and proved to be a huge influence of many of the next generation of stars, including Bowie, Bolan, Weller, Cope... and Freezer.  

Freezer - Syd Barrett's Icelandic Girlfriend

He's also to be found in illustrious company here, as Scroobius Pip lays down his Ten Commandments...

Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain

Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill

Meanwhile, Ernie's old neighbour, Martin Newell, was clearly a Syd fan...

Cleaners From Venus - A Song For Syd Barretts

Leslie Feist obviously has a little Syd obsession going on too, as she reveals here in this excerpt from her notebooks...

Why did I write down everything that entered my mind?
Check out these lines, like -
"I'm Syd Barrett and I'll swim to England in his clothes, in 20 holes"
How could I say at what point I would gain perspective, let alone know I had it?

Broken Social Scene - Hug Of Thunder

Texan indie dude Matthew Logan Vasquez is a new name to me. He's apparently in three bands: Delta Spirit, Middle Brother and Glorietta. And on his day off, he does stuff like this...

My little sister got my record collection
They tried to tell her it's a bad direction
But somehow I'm alive today
With Syd Barrett fuckin' up my brain

Matthew Logan Vasquez - Everything I Do Is Out

Tobin Sprout is not the nephew of the Green Giant - no, he's a member of Guided By Voices. And he does his own things too...

Madcaps and laughs
Syd Barrett
The last man well known to kingpin

Tobin Sprout - The Last Man Well Known to Kingpin

Back in 2011, John Wesley Harding stopped releasing material under the name he'd stolen from Bob Dylan (who in turn stole it, with a misspelling, from Wild West outlaw John Wesley Hardin). Instead, he went back to using his real name, Wesley Stace. Here he is, in nostalgic mood...

In Hastings, when I was younger
Thе sea could take you under
I never much swam in there
But I skimmed some stones and I breathed the air
The Who, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd
Syd Barrett's final show
Didn't take that long to get
To want to know the ghosts
Of Hastings Pier

Wesley Stace - Hastings Pier

And here are a few more tunes that name-drop Syd in the lyrics...

Derrotados - Syd

Raine Maida - Yellow Brick Road

Moon Safari - Diamonds

Silver Sun - Getting It Together In The Country

As is so often the case with this feature, one tune immediately sprang to mind when it came to Syd Barrett: Roddy Woomble's biggest hit. I loved this song from the first moment I heard it, though I've never had a clue what it was all about. Apparently the title comes from some nonsense Roddy shouted at his girlfriend during an impassioned argument, and the whole thing was Idlewild's attempt to write a Pavement song. So the fact that it doesn't make any sense actually makes perfect sense.

You smoke too much when
You talk too much, and
When I argue, Syd Barrett makes me laugh
I laugh at your conversational skills
Or lack of

Snapshots #312: A Top Ten Songs Named After Classic Novels

If you've Rushdie'd here this morning for the answers to yesterdays quiz, I hope it wasn't because you felt like a Salman swimming upstream, trying to work out the connection.

Here are ten songs named after famous novels, straight from your favourite English teacher. You might even call them "iconic", except you'd probably upset C. 

Prepare yourself for some Satantic Verses... and Heavenly choruses, of course.

10. Shot in Sarajevo. 

Archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot in Sarajevo, sparking World War I.

Franz Ferdinand - Ulysses

9. You're on your own in court.

You're about to face some Lone Justice!

Lone Justice - The Grapes Of Wrath

8. Clocking off time.

It used to be 5.30. These days, people seem to finish work at all kinds of different times.

5.30! - Catcher In The Rye

7. What time is it, Mr. McGoohan?

What time is it, Mr. Wolf? Patrick time!

Patrick Wolf - To The Lighthouse

6. Found confused in a nerd alley.

"A nerd alley" was an anagram...

Lana Del Rey - Lolita

5. A wee insect.

A midge is a wee insect. 

Midge Ure - Call Of The Wild

4. This is a fiery Topic.

A Topic is a chocolate bar. Fiery is hot.

Hot Chocolate - Emma

3. Stars of the small screen.

Television Personalities - A Picture Of Dorian Gray

2. Ask Rik when he's got himself back together.

"Ask Rik when", put back together in a different order, gives us...

Nik Kershaw - Don Quixote

We had an English teacher who insisted on pronouncing Quixote "kwik-oat". Obviously not a Nik Kershaw fan.

1. Hedge and Thicket.

Bush!

Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

Let me in your window again next Saturday for more of the same...

Celebrity Jukebox #45: Cary Grant (Part 2)

Film critic Pauline Kael said of Cary Grant that "men wanted to be him and women dreamed of dating him". The actor’s typically self-deprecating response to this was, "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant—even I want to be Cary Grant". It seems Cary Grant was a screen persona that Archibald Leach became increasingly comfortable playing in real life as the years went by... with a sly wink and an arched eyebrow.

Lyrical references to Mr. Grant broadly fall into four categories then.

1. Men want to be him.

2. Women want to be with him.

3. A combination of the two.

4. None of the above.

Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?

1. Men Want To Be Cary Grant

Bill Boyan – The Kind of Man I Wanna Be

My baby’s kind of fond of Cary Grant
I tried to act like him, but I just can’t
And I don’t need my name on some marquee
But that’s the kind of man I wanna be

Paper Heart – Systematic

It’s systematic
Some say I look like Cary Grant
It’s systematic
I’ll kiss you baby ‘til I can’t

Allan Sherman – Shticks Of One and Half a Dozen of the Other

All day, all night, Cary Grant
That’s all I hear from my wife, is Cary Grant
What can he do that I can’t?
Big deal, big star, Cary Grant

Allan Sherman seems to have come back from Camp Granada rather obsessed with Cary Grant. He mentions him in three or four other songs too. Go find them yourselves though, I’ve done enough for you this week.

Meanwhile, over in France...

Dany Brillant – Suzette

Elle se serre tout contre moi
Je me crois au cinema
Je me prends pour Cary Grant
Et puis on eteint la lampe

Which roughly translates as…

She hugs me tight
I believe myself in the cinema
I take myself for Cary Grant
And then we turn off the lamp

Finally in this category, we have Ray Davies, so enamoured of Cary that he’s going to use him to create an artificial man.

Tell it to the people all across the land
We’re going to build an artificial man
With the physique of a Tarzan
And the profile of Cary Grant
Superior beings being totally made by hand
Throw out imperfection
Mould you section by section
Gonna make you the ultimate creation

The Kinks – Artificial Man

2. Women Want To Be With Cary Grant

Peggy Lee – I Love Being Here With You

And Cary Grant, oh-do-dah-day
His utter charm takes me away
But don’t get me wrong
How do you say?
I love being here with you

That's a belter.

Lila McCann – Yippy Ky Yay

When it comes to what a woman needs
You ain’t no Cary Grant

Nena – Kino

Ich warte auf das Happy-End
Arm in arm mit Cary Grant – alles klar!

You can probably translate that one yourself. Good to know Nena wasn’t just about the balloons and the nuclear war though.

Deborah Conway – It’s Only The Beginning

When we go walking along the river
Watch the old men fishing the sunny side of the pier
It’s like a movie and you’re my leading man
The way you woo me, just like Cary Grant

We need more videos set on golf courses.

Karen Jonas – Mr. Wonka

Your talk you learned from great actors
The classics, the best
Your fancy yourself Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant
Can I hear you? Yes, I can
But you’re not making any sense

Hollis Brown – Death of an Actress

As Madam Faye, you won the role
You even danced with Cary Grant,
And you loved your fame

3. Men & Women Who Both Want A Bit Of Cary

Good Charlotte – Silver Screen Romance

You’re my Bette Davis
I’m your Cary Grant
Let’s make love all night
Don’t get up at the prohibition

I'm not sure why you'd need to get up at prohibition, but what do I know about metaphors?

Alphaville – Sounds Like A Melody

We need the ecstasy, the jealousy
The comedy of love
Like the Cary Grants and Kellys once before

Turns out they weren't just big in Japan.

Meanwhile, big in Germany...

Yvonne Catterfeld - Ganz großes Kino

Ich bin nicht Marilyn
Du bist nicht Cary Grant

I’m not going to insult your intelligence by translating that one either.

Diesel Boy – Me And Kate

I fell in love with the girl on the screen
Just me and Kate
For two hours tonight
We’ll orbit the earth like a satellite
I’m Cary Grant
She’s Sophia Loren

Television Personalities – Don’t Cry, Baby, It’s Only AMovie

You can be my Audrey Hepburn
I’ll be Cary Grant

4. None of the above

Lou Reed – Halloween Parade

There’s Crawford, Davis and a tacky Cary Grant
And some homeboys lookin’ for trouble
Down here from the Bronx

That’s from New York, my favourite Lou Reed solo album. Though I'm not sure Grant rhymes with Bronx, Lou.

Next, a track from a lockdown-recorded Americana album released just last year…

Holm & Tanz – A Dozen Roses

A dozen roses on the table
Wither in a week or two at most
From Cary Grant to Clark Gable
Every rose gives up the ghost

And here’s another lockdown song, from a singer who should not be confused with the Free and Bad Company bloke, because he had a ‘d’ in his name. Anyway, this Paul learned a lot during the pandemic...

Paul Rogers – Quarantine

Did you know that Cary Grant never won an Oscar?
And Paul McCartney wrote “The Fool On The Hill” alone?
I seen people playing poker, making million dollar bets
I’ve seen rednecks raising tigers just for pets

It’s a fact that Cary Grant never won an Oscar for any one film, only receiving an honorary award after he’d retired from acting in the late 60s. Which, frankly, is a scandal. As to The Fool On The Hill, I'll let Alyson tell you more about that.

Next up, Marlon Brando’s favourite band…

The Godfathers – If I Only Had Time

Today a new sun rises
Look in the mirror, there’s no surprises
Things ain’t what they used to be
Cary Grant’s on LSD

Doctors began treating Cary Grant with LSD in the late 50s in an effort to “make him feel better about himself and rid of all of his inner turmoil stemming from his childhood and his failed relationships”. And you think you’ve got it bad. In later years, he world remark, “taking LSD was an utterly foolish thing to do, but I was a self-opinionated boor, hiding all kinds of layers and defences, hypocrisy and vanity.” In my head, I can hear him saying that.

Punk from the other side of the pond now, though they sound like The Pogues...

The Swinging Utters – Playboys, Punks & Pretty Things

“A penny for your thoughts,” he says
As he swiftly slips from bed to bed
And the thoughtful ones are charmed by him
And the sexy ones turned on by him
And he’s knighted by Casanova’s kin
And his ladies would never turn on him
‘Cause he’s the Cary Grant of the party kings
And the playboy of your wildest dreams

Followed that with a great band name – Highly Suspect. This song has an opening line deserving of the Misanthropes’ Hall of Fame, but it settles down after that…

Highly Suspect – Serotonia

I wish that everyone I knew was dead
So that I’d never have to pick up the phone

We all have days like that.

I’m gonna move to California
I’m gonna melt into the sand
Slow dance with Elizabeth Taylor and Audrey
Bum a cigarette from Cary Grant

Nearing the end now, you’ll be glad to know.

Here’s Pete McCabe, who's having an argument with his wife about all the junk he keeps in his bedside drawers that she wants him to throw out…

Pete McCabe – The Drawers Song

There's a Cary Grant obituary looking just like me
An eight track tape that taught me we all got to be free
Birthdays cards and get well cards and playing cards, no joker
Books on Greek Philosophy and how to win at Poker
An urn that holds the ashes of my guinea pig, Alfredo
A classic meatball sandwich topped with sweet heirloom tomato

And a penultimate word from our favourite Star Wars fanboy “Geek Rock” band Nerf Herder…

Nerf Herder – Come Back Down

Celebrities, they come and go
One day you’re Cary Grant
And the next you’re Scott Baio

Note so self: got to do a Scott Baio entry here very soon.

However, I think my favourite tune today comes from a band I’d rather forgotten about. Luna were the brainchild of former Galaxie 500 frontman Dean Wareham. Rolling Stone called them “the best band you’ve never heard of”…

And at the weekly meeting of anonymous cads
You shuffle your feet and whistle out loud
Listen to what they’re saying – what a load of crap!
You ain’t no Cary Grant
But then again, who is?

Snapshots #212: A Top Ten Songs About Famous Painters

All yesterday's songs were about famous artists. Let me paint you a picture of the answers...

Special mention must go to the amazing Jonathan Richman who has written more songs about famous artists than anyone else. But he's featured here recently, and I'm running out of clues that link back to him...

Jonathan Richman - Pablo Picasso

Jonathan Richman - No One Was Like Vermeer

Jonathan Richman - Salvador Dali

Jonathan Richman - Vincent Van Gogh

10. Wilson & McDonald.

Brian Wilson & Michael McDonald!

A song about L.S. Lowry...

Brian & Michael - Matchstalk Men & Matchstalk Cats & Dogs

9. Davina, Holly, Dermot.

They're all Television Personalities.

And these guys love artists almost as much as Jonathan Richman...

Television Personalities - Salvador Dali's Garden Party

Television Personalities - David Hockney's Diaries

Television Personalities - Lichtenstein Painting

8. What if Emma & Richard were identical?

Emma Thompson & Richard Thompson are not twins.

The Thompson Twins - Salvador Dali's Car

7. A wee riddle, and jailhouse singer.

A Jimmy Riddle, and Webb Pierce (who sang In The Jailhouse Now).

Jimmy Webb - Paul Gauguin In The South Seas

6. George C. Scott & Joanne Woodward.

George C. Scott & Joanne Woodward appeared together in the film They Might Be Giants.

They Might Be Giants - Meet James Ensor 

5. Is Len nine?

Anagram!

Neil Innes - I Like Cézanne

4. Tearjerkers.

The Weepies - Painting By Chagall

3. Piano slum.

Anagram!

Paul Simon - Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War

2. Supporters of angst, kicks and wasteland.

Fans of teenage angst, teenage kicks and the teenage wasteland...

Teenage Fanclub - Escher

1. Mafia boss is spotless host.

The Don is a clean M.C.

No need to be a moaner, Lisa... Snapshots will be back next Saturday. Don't cut your ear off before then.

Hot 100 #14

Thank you to C for suggesting this week's band... 14 Iced Bears. She says...

I couldn't tell you any of their songs any more unfortunately, although have vivid memories of ordering in their singles for some devoted indie fans at the time of their release and (in my head at least) being very disparaging about their chosen name. Now I think it's rather lovely!

Indeed. And here's what they sound like...

14 Iced Bears - Come Get Me

Brian added:

I would like to back up C and proclaim that the 14 Iced Bears were awesome. Unfortunately, their sleeves were nothing to write home about. Perhaps the cover for The Importance Of Being Frank EP would suffice for art.

I'm not sure what that is above, Brian, but it was the one with the clearest 14 I could find.

Another relatively quiet week on the countdown, compared to the excesses of 16 and 17, although we're all just girding our loins in preparation for the Top Ten.

Here's what you had for me this wee, starting with Martin, who's still smarting from forgetting two Gene tracks last week...

The White Stripes - Red Death at 6.14 

...is all I have for this week. Unless I've missed something else by one of my most beloved bands...

Next up is Alyson...

Hats off to you Rol for putting this together as my brain is incapable of concentrating on anything at the moment. Yes, my choices above not really my thing, but fitted the brief.

From the same source I have just found something called:

Tomski - 14 Hours To Save The Earth

This is an open letter

From you and me together

Tomorrow's in our hands now

Find the words that matter

Say them out loud

And make it better somehow

Looking down from up on the moon

It's a tiny blue marble

Who would've thought the ground we stand on

Could be so fragile

This is a love song to the Earth

You're no ordinary world

A diamond in the universe

Heaven's poetry to us

Keep it safe, keep it safe, keep it safe

Cause it's our world, it's our world

Interesting, as dance remakes of Welcome To The Pleasuredome go. The lyrics you quote don't appear to come from that track though, Alyson. They come from Love Song To The Earth by Sean Paul, featuring Natasha Bedingfield & Paul "anything to stay cred" McCartney. As C remarks, it's apt to the current world situation... but doesn't have any 14s in it, I'm afraid.

Time for Jim in Dubai, who also found it tough this week...

Comet Gain - Just Fourteen

Television Personalities - 14th Floor

Rigid Digit, meanwhile, is waiting for an Ocado delivery slot so he found plenty this week...

Aphex Twin - Avril 14th

I can honestly say that's the best thing I've ever heard from Aphex Twin.

Peter Gabriel - 14 Black Paintings

Palma Violets - 14

Rufus Wainwright - 14th Street

Beck - 14 Rivers, 14 Floods

Those last two are definitely worth a click. I'll let you get back to your virtual queue now, RD... because I bet you're still stuck in it, 7 days after you left that xomment.

Lynchie appeared equally stuck for inspiration this week...

I couldn't think of any songs with 14 in the title but then I discovered... 

Tiny Tim - Fourteen

...on which is voice sounds nothing like it did on "Tiptoe Through The Tulips". It's a pretty deep voice which led me to believe it might be an imposter.

The lyrics kick off with:

Fourteen!

Fourteen girls in baggy pyjamas

What if I'd gone to the south Bahamas

...and just get weirder.

I'm only guessing here, but I don't think that's the same Tiny Tim. But thank you anyway.

Thankfully, the Swede is here to restore us to sanity...

Soft Machine - Fourteen Hour Dream

Don Bailey - Fourteen Stories Down

That is one top suicide ballad, Swede. Thank you for that.

Back to C for one final moment of inspiration...

I can't believe I didn't think of this before but having indulged in '60s psychedelia in a big way in the '80s I really should have remembered... 

The Syn - 14 Hour Technicolour Dream

And, last but not least, Brian...

Kind of quiet on the 14 front. I'll add...

Nick Lowe - 14 Days 

...from The Impossible Bird. I think this is his best album, and that's saying something. 

I seem to remember there was some discussion about this over at your place recently, Brian. I'd still always plump for Jesus of Cool, but those later albums are pretty special.

OK, time to scrape the dregs from my own hard-drive...

Manic Street Preachers - 1404

Sylvain Sylvain - 14th Street Beat

Revenge - 14K

Ralph McTell - England 1914

Scott Walker + Sunn O - Herod 2014

Counting Crows - 1492

Drive-By Truckers - Feb 14

Love - Number 14

Mull Historical Society - 14 Year Old Boy

Midland - Fourteen Gears

All of which brings us to this week's winner... and to be honest with you, I pretty much thought that Rigid Digit had walked away with it. I was all set to crown this the champion...

Guns n Roses - 14 Years

...until a final scour through the library shook out this little gem. Frankly, I'm ashamed to say I'd forgotten it... and a number of my regulars will probably share that same shame.

Take it away, Billy...

Unlucky for all of us, next week is 13. Not that we need any more bad luck at the moment. Suggestions, please...

Hot 100 #39

I'd initially thought I'd just chuck the above image on top of this week's post to see if anyone could work out why I'd done it.

Then I discovered this lot who rather gave the joke away...

Anyway, number 39 on our countdown. Thankfully not as busy as last week's entry. (But not far off.)



C started the ball rolling with a slice of post-punk goodness...

Television Personalities - Hard Luck Story Number 39

Followed soon after by Lynchie, who went all weird on us...

Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time

The above are the opening lyrics to "Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague" by The Mothers Of Invention. The vocals are stupendous, especially Nelcy Walker's soprano voice backed by Ray Collins & Roy Estrada. This track led me to purchase "Cruising with Ruben & the Jets" - an earlier Mothers' album which has some of the best doo-wop songs ever recorded.

Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention - Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague

Lynchie's second suggestion was a bit more down-to-earth... and surely a shoe-in for this week's winner as it comes from one of my favourite albums...

A friend of mine became a father last night
When we spoke in his voice I could hear the light
Of the skies and the rivers the timberwolf in the pines
And that great jukebox out on Route 39

Bruce Springsteen - Valentine's Day

Then again, much as I love The Boss, it's only two weeks since he last claimed the top spot in this countdown. Would I really give it to him again?

Our Canadian correspondent, Douglas McLaren, was pretty sure I would...

Darn. Got beaten to the Boss, which I am guessing is the "shoe-in". Oh well. Though Valentine's Day is (in my opinion) the better song, Springsteen's "Stand On It" is a rollickin' great-balls-of-fire b-side belter that also refers to Route 39.

Bruce Springsteen - Stand On It

Nope. Not this week, Douglas. What else have you got for me?

A few other offerings as outside chances. For starters, there is last week's poster boys, UB40, with "Hold Your Position, Mk3". Not the biggest UB40 fan, but that one sits in the record collection. Lyrics mention "39 Acker Tree, Frontline"...not sure if that is an address or what?

Hardly a desirable residence, by the sounds of it.

UB40 - Hold Your Position, MK3

I feel I should mention Canada's Own Gordon Lightfoot again this week, as his offering for "40" went down fighting. The song "Drink Yer Glasses Empty". A typically Lightfoot song, semi-autobiographical I suppose given that he was in fact born in 1938, but timeless considering the world today: 

Better drink yer glasses empty now
It's time to rise and shine
There's one less cause in the world
To be leaving for
It was back in 39
When I was one year old
Sitting by the backyard fence
And the world had turned so cold...

Gordon Lightfoot - Drink Yer Glasses Empty

Another one that actually sits in the collection since I picked up a vinyl copy at a charity shop, but I am not actually all that fond of myself (outside chance perhaps?) is World Party, "The Ballad of The Little Man". The Latin Teacher in me appreciates the Classical allusion in the lyrics, though:

He's an animal but he thinks he's God
Gets him mixed up with him
And we're all at the mercy
Of this little man within
He was doing fine in 39
Thank God he did not win
He kept playing on his fiddle
As he watched old Rome cave in...

World Party - The Ballad of the Little Man

Blimey - a Latin teacher! That'll put a lowly English teacher like me in my place. But no, not World Party this week, Douglas. Anything else?

Alright, the most outside outside chance of all?

Weird Al Yankovic - The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota

Well, we crossed the state line about 6: 39
And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, fifty miles"
Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing
"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day...

It reminds me of my summer vacations as a kid. Every last one of them. And at least by mentioning in now it pre-empts its obvious chances of being a take-all winner in 12 weeks time when number 27 comes up.

Yeah, that's the winne... oh, no, sorry, it isn't. Nice try though.

Who else do we have? Ah, George...

Of course Spanish Bombs will not be featuring.........

Well, it will be featuring, George. It just won't be winning. Nothing against Mr. Strummer and co. I'm just not cool enough to worship them in quite the same way many other venerable bloggers do.

The Clash - Spanish Bombs

Spanish songs in Andalucia
The shooting sites in the days of '39
Oh, please, leave the vendanna open
Fredrico Lorca is dead and gone
Bullet holes in the cemetery walls
The black cars of the Guardia Civil
Spanish bombs on the Costa Rica
I'm flying in a DC 10 tonight

Next up was Rigid Digit, with three fine suggestions...

The Cure - 39

White Stripes - Hotel Yorba

I said 39 times that I love you, 

To the beauty I had found

That's just harrassment, Jack. You want to watch that sort of behaviour in this day and age.

And for the third and final time:

AC/DC - Whole Lotta Rosie

42 39 56 - you could say she's got it all

God loves a trier.

Our final suggestion this week comes from Deano, my old pal from the land down under...

Paul Kelly - You're 39, You're Beautiful and You're Mine

A beautiful ballad where Kelly shows that love songs don’t just have to be about the young ones…

That is pretty special. Thanks, Deano.

And you all for playing, as ever. Before we get onto this week's winner (as immidiately identified by Martin, and seconded by Deano), here's a few more offerings from my hard-drive...

Lloyd Cole - 39 Down

Hank Williams III - 7 Months, 39 Days

The Handsome Family - Emily Shore - 1819 - 1939

Larry Jon Wilson - July 12th, 1939

Al Stewart - Laughing Into 1939

Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsborough - 18 - 39

Tenacious D -39

Jeannie C. Riley - Slippin' Shirley Thompson

Sippin' Shirley Thompson doesn't care
She's 39 and feelin' fine and not much up to goin' anywhere
Her husband is a bible salesman and at 39 his hair fell out
She said there's not a hair between him and the heaven that he talks about

All good songs, but the songs from our teenage years often leave the biggest impression, don't they? And that's certainly the case with this tune from Queen's A Night At The Opera album, a favourite of mine was I was 15 (even though it was released 12 years earlier). I never had much of an idea what the song was about, I just thought it was a pretty tune and Brian does a good job on vocals. Iffypedia reveals the lyrics go back to Brian's days as an astrophysicist...

The song tells the tale of a group of space explorers who embark on what is, from their perspective, a year-long voyage. Upon their return, however, they realise that a hundred years have passed, because of the time dilation effect in Einstein's special theory of relativity, and the loved ones they left behind are now all dead or aged.

You don't get that from Ed Sheeran, do you?

Oh, final trivia bit. This was George Michael's favourite Queen song, and apparently he used to play it as a busker on the London Underground. I bet the police moved him on if he gathered a crowd this big.

38 next week. I bet Douglas has a suggestion. Anyone else?

My Top Ten Mona Lisa Songs

Just managing to keep the lights on at My Top Ten at the moment. Here are ten songs about the most famous / miserable painting in the world...

10. Wolf Alice - Moaning Lisa Smile

A song about feeling bad and having a good moan to get it out of your system.

A song about blogging, then?

9. Al Stewart - Mona Lisa Talking

Much underrated, Al Stewart...

These Renaissance girls know what they're saying
There are whispers at night in the halls of paintings
You think you're the first one to come untethered
But we've been watching you forever

8. Panic! At The Disco - The Ballad of Mona Lisa

A former student used to tell me (every lesson) that I looked like the lead singer of P!ATD, to the point that he started calling me Brendon. I don't see it myself, but I've been called far worse things.

7. Grant Lee Phillips - Mona Lisa

This is really quite lovely, especially the "burgundy smile you wore yesterday".

6. Strangelove - Mona Lisa

Patrick Duff wants to kiss a girl with a disappearing smile.

5. Television Personalities - Sad Mona Lisa

She likes to go shopping on Saturdays

Especially to Kensington Market

For acid house records her mother hates

And posters of Morten Harket

Extra points for rhyming Kensington Market with Morton Harket, obviously.

4. Brad Paisley - The Mona Lisa

I feel, like the frame
That gets to hold the Mona Lisa
And I don't care
If that's all I'll ever be

Brad Paisley makes this love-song writing malarky look easy.

3. Nat King Cole - Mona Lisa

What a voice. She'd have to smile at Nat! Similar smiles for Willie Nelson, Marvin Gaye... and Deano.

2. Jens Lekman - A Man Walks Into A Bar

Jens practices his chat up lines...

How many lovers does it take
To put a light bulb into a socket?
Why did Mona Lisa smile?
I have the answer written down in my pocket.

But it's not as creepy as that might sound...

I know why Mona Lisa smiled
Da Vinci must have been a really funny guy
And laughter is the only way into my heart

1. Elton John - Mona Lisas & Mad Hatters

For all his latter-day sins, early Elton takes some beating...



I could probably have stretched to another ten. The Manics would have got in here had they not thrown acid all over the painting. Which one leaves an enigmatic smile on your face?