Sequel Songs #8: Major Tom

I have a list of Sequel Songs that I'm working my way through, but because time is limited at the moment, I've been trying to pick ones I think I can write about quickly. The problem is, when I start, I often fall down a rabbit hole...

For here

Am I sitting in a tin can

Far above the world

Planet Earth is blue

And there's nothing I can do

Theoretically, today's post was going to involve just three songs. The first, obviously, was David Bowie's first UK Chart hit, a song which was rush-released in July 1969 to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landing (the BBC even used it to soundtrack their coverage). It was inspired by Kubrick's 2001, reflecting how alienated Bowie himself felt at this point in his career (having been knocking on the door of the charts for some time, with nobody letting him in), and musical inspiration came from the kind of thing the Bee Gees were doing at that point in their career. If you're surprised by that, I'd point you towards one of my favourite Bee Gees tunes, also from 1969, and I can kind of hear where Bowie might have been coming from...

The Bee Gees - Marley Purt Drive

Although Space Oddity did make the Top Ten, it would be another three years before Bowie returned to the charts, ironically with a song that's another thematic continuation, although by this point he clearly feels more like an alien than an astronaut.

David Bowie - Starman

After that, Bowie was here to stay. Maybe it took that long for the world to be ready for him. It wouldn't be any kind of stretch to call him "ahead of his time". Space Oddity was re-issued in 1975, when it became his first chart-topper. His second chart-topper came five years later... and it was the official sequel to Space Oddity.

Do you remember a guy that's been

In such an early song?

I've heard a rumour from Ground Control

Oh no, don't say it's true

By this time, Major Tom was floating in a very different kind of space, having succumbed to drug addiction... the autobiographical elements still clearly present.

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky

We know Major Tom's a junkie

Strung out in heaven's high

Hitting an all-time low

Now, I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator. Many of you will know that others took up the story, most notably German singer Peter Schilling, whose 1982 single Major Tom (Völlig Losgelöst) reached Number One in both Germany and Austria in 1983... and though the English language version didn't make the UK charts, it did get to #14 in the US.

Schilling's song does appear to offer a little hope of a happy ending for the good Major...

Across the stratosphere, a final message

"Give my wife my love," then nothing more

Far beneath the ship the world is mourning

They don't realize he's alive

No one understands, but Major Tom sees

"Now the light commands, this is my home

I'm coming home"

Iffypedia suggests other artists sought to continue the narrative, though Empty Glass by Canadian band The Tea Party feels more like a Bowie tribute song...

Where do we belong?

Could you help us, Major Tom

'Cause nothing's making sense

I listen and lament

A star man will come

When diamond dogs run

We need ground control

We're losing our souls

The Tea Party - Empty Glass

And if we include that, we should also offer space to the Conchords...

Flight of the Conchords - Bowie's In Space

Another Canadian, K.I.A. offers a different perspective on Major Tom's story, from his earthbound wife...

K.I.A. - Mrs. Major Tom

A version of that song, sung by Sheryl Crow, appeared on William Shatner's fourth album, thematically based on Bowie's character, entitled Seeking Major Tom. The album also included Shatner's own version of the Peter Schilling song...

William Shatner - Major Tom (Coming Home)

And here's a direct retelling (but not a cover version) of the original tale by LA rock band Shiny Toy Guns...

Shiny Toy Guns - Major Tom

And a different take, in French, from Plastic Bertrand...

Plastic Bertrand - Major Tom

Meanwhile, Major Tom crops up in all kinds of other bizarre places, including...

Def Leppard - Rocket

Lana Del Rey - Terrence Loves You

Five Star - Rain Or Shine

Falco - Satellite to Satellite

Wall of Voodoo - The Grass Is Greener

Kitchens of Distinction - Japan To Jupiter

I think it's fair to say Major Tom has really made the grade. No wonder the papers want to know whose shirts he wears.

However, you may have wondered about my earlier comment, "I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator." Did David Bowie have anything else to say about his greatest creation. Well... yes, it seems he did. Many believe that his 1996 collaboration with the Pet Shop Boys contains an update on the Major Tom story...

David Bowie & The Pet Shop Boys - Hallo Spaceboy

But I'm told that Major Tom's final appearance comes in the the video to the title track of the final Bowie album, Blackstar. Many people (including the director) believe that the dead astronaut seen at the start of the video is Major Tom at the end of his journey...

Listening Post #10: Norman F*cking Rockwell

A few months back, Swiss Adam featured a song by Lana Del Rey and I remarked that I can only really listen to her music on compilations, a track here and there, not a whole load of them in a row.

And then, just to prove myself wrong (for the one billionth time), I started getting into her 2019 record Norman Fucking Rockwell!... or NFR! if you don't want to upset your granny. It's actually an appropriate album title, because, as usual, Lana's songs are seeped in the faded American glamour of a bygone era (although, truth be told, I thought Norman Rockwell was the guy who painted American Gothic, so I was surprised to learn that was Grant Wood, and that Norman's work was quite different... call me an art philistine, but I'm still learning) AND because Lana swears. A lot. For an album that's essentially a bunch of 70s Elton John piano ballads with the occasional nod to hip hop, it's quite surprising how many f-bombs she drops. 

Am I getting old? Swearing in music used to be quite shocking. Nowadays, everyone's at it. Especially the women! Even the latest Taylor Swift album is full of effing and jeffing. I'm not complaining as such, and I'd be a hypocrite if I pretended to be shocked or said I never used such language myself (get in a car with me and you'll hear plenty), but as a parent and a teacher, I do find it concerning. Sam's getting to the age now where he's drifting away from my music to discover his own pop. I always knew that would happen, and I'm not going to fight it because it's a necessary part of growing up and developing your own identity... but still, swear words are everywhere these days. I'm not even sure they bother with radio edits any more - though what the hell Radio One does, I've no idea. There's an argument: all this means is that the profanities we grew up with have lost their power, and that's natural ("bloody" was still a shocking word when I was a kid), but where do we go from there? Fuck knows.

I spent ages the other day editing a "shit" out of the Yard Act song below so that I could include it on an in-car CD. I'm not sure why I bothered...

(That's looking like being my album of the year, by the way. Just giving you a heads up. Can't see anyone else taking the crown between now and December.)

Anyway, back to Lana and NFR. The swearing isn't what endears me to this record, though Fuck It, I Love You is a pretty good song. Beyond the echoes of Hollywood glamour I mentioned before, I think what I like most about her writing is the way she wallows in self-pity. Always good to hear. In fact, the best two songs on the album come right at the end. First there's this...

If he's a serial killer, then what's the worst

That could happen to a girl who's already hurt?

I'm already hurt

If he's as bad as they say, then I guess I'm cursed

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

He's already hurt

Lana Del Rey - Happiness Is A Butterfly

And then comes this, perhaps her finest hour, reaching Morrissey-levels of melancholia, back when that was still a cool comparison to make (how I wish I didn't have to qualify any reference I make to the Stretford Sectarian as I do these days). If I was a teenage girl (hell, if I was still a teenage boy), I'd be playing this one on loop...

 

Snapshots #330: A Top Ten Jeans Songs

Money talks, but it don't sing and dance, and it don't walk...

Here are ten songs with jeans on.

10. Good Lord!

That's Lord David Paul Nicholas Dundas, don't you know?

David Dundas - Jeans On

9. Found amid landlocked countries.

Found amid landlocked countries.

Midland - Bury Me In Blue Jeans

8. Assist this young lady, Zeus!

God Help The Girl - I Just Want Your Jeans

7. Assess the current season.

Marks out of 10 for this winter?

Mark Wynter - Venus In Blue Jeans

6. Caters for French Vikings of all sizes.

He'll Cook for the Normans, whether they're slim or fatboys.

Fatboy Slim - That Old Pair Of Jeans

5. Spent so long on the main road, he neglected his gateaux. 

He is a lineman of the county, and he drives the main road. While doing so, he may also be guilty of leaving his cake out in the rain.

Jimmy Webb - Lady Fits Her Blue Jeans

4. Came last twice, but still made it to Number One.

The last letter is Z, but they still made it to the Top.

ZZ Top - Blue Jean Blues

3. Turner, Trotter, Ridley.

Lana Turner, Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter and Daisey Ridley, who plays Rey in the rubbish 21st Century Stars Wars films (not the rubbish 90s Star Wars films).

Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans

2. I can see my house from up here!

The View - Same Jeans

1. Breaks an indie mold.

"An indie mold" was an anagram that needed breaking up, to make...

Neil Diamond - Forever In Blue Jeans

(Neil was on the fencing team at NYU.)

Snapshots will be back next Saturday, but you'll only be allowed in if you're smartly dressed. No jeans!

Neverending Top Ten #6.5: The Lynx Effect

The Lynx - You Lie

Sam has started wearing deodorant. 

I'm not sure he needs it yet, he's still a few years off being a sweaty teenager, but apparently it's the thing. So his mum bought him some Lynx. Because the makers have moved away from the ridiculous notion that if you spray yourself with Lynx, thousands of teenage girls will come chasing after you (presumably with some bleach and a scrubbing brush) and now they're promoting themselves via the notion of sporting prowess - wearing Lynx will make you into a G.O.A.T.

Lana Del Rey - The Greatest

I wish I was blissfully unaware of what that stands for, but sadly I'm not.

The Bloodhound Gang - Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny

It probably goes without saying that I have a problem with Lynx. Due to "odour-linked memories", I don't get The Lynx Effect... I get The Proust Effect.

Kidsfrontiers.org explains...

This name came about because the author Marcel Proust wrote in his book, Swann’s Way, that the smell of a pastry he dipped in his tea brought on a rush of joy associated with his childhood.

Eric Mercury - I Can Smell That Funky Music

In short, nice smells evoke nice memories. 

Howell Dawdy - Smells Like Love

However, due to our storytelling brain, the opposite is also true. I don't know if Marcel Proust ever smelt Lynx deodorant, but if he did, I hope it whisked him back to school changing rooms on a wet Wednesday afternoon, when all the footy lads were raring to go, and young Proust was feeling queasy, intimidated and ready for his weekly hour of humiliation. Because that's what happens to me. One whiff of Lynx and I end up right back here...

Splodgenessabounds - Wiffy Smells

It's enough to make a grown man cry. And for a 51 year old man who's never quite managed the growing up thing... it's even worse.

Lonely Tourist - Smells Like Team Meeting 

 

Snapshots #312: A Top Ten Songs Named After Classic Novels

If you've Rushdie'd here this morning for the answers to yesterdays quiz, I hope it wasn't because you felt like a Salman swimming upstream, trying to work out the connection.

Here are ten songs named after famous novels, straight from your favourite English teacher. You might even call them "iconic", except you'd probably upset C. 

Prepare yourself for some Satantic Verses... and Heavenly choruses, of course.

10. Shot in Sarajevo. 

Archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot in Sarajevo, sparking World War I.

Franz Ferdinand - Ulysses

9. You're on your own in court.

You're about to face some Lone Justice!

Lone Justice - The Grapes Of Wrath

8. Clocking off time.

It used to be 5.30. These days, people seem to finish work at all kinds of different times.

5.30! - Catcher In The Rye

7. What time is it, Mr. McGoohan?

What time is it, Mr. Wolf? Patrick time!

Patrick Wolf - To The Lighthouse

6. Found confused in a nerd alley.

"A nerd alley" was an anagram...

Lana Del Rey - Lolita

5. A wee insect.

A midge is a wee insect. 

Midge Ure - Call Of The Wild

4. This is a fiery Topic.

A Topic is a chocolate bar. Fiery is hot.

Hot Chocolate - Emma

3. Stars of the small screen.

Television Personalities - A Picture Of Dorian Gray

2. Ask Rik when he's got himself back together.

"Ask Rik when", put back together in a different order, gives us...

Nik Kershaw - Don Quixote

We had an English teacher who insisted on pronouncing Quixote "kwik-oat". Obviously not a Nik Kershaw fan.

1. Hedge and Thicket.

Bush!

Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

Let me in your window again next Saturday for more of the same...

Celebrity Jukebox #106: Jimmy Buffett

We lost Michael Parkinson while I was away on holiday, but I couldn't find a single song that mentioned him... and I wanted to spare you all Parky's favourite, Jamie Cullum. Oh, very well then, in his honour... here's my favourite Jamie Cullum song, the one where he admits to being a Morrissey fan...

Jamie Cullum - Mixtape

Earlier this week, we also lost Gary Wright. No songs I could find name-checked him, but it does give me an opportunity to spin this in his honour...

Gary Wright - Dream Weaver

However, the day I heard about Gary's passing, news also reached me about the death of a personal favourite: the legendary Jimmy Buffett. You may well roll your eyes incredulously, but I'll never tire of this tune...

Having dipped more than a toe into his back catalogue over the years, I could name you many more great Jimmy Buffett tunes, but none are quite as good as Margaritaville, a song that gave birth to an entire industry of restaurants, hotels, casinos and even retirement homes. For a man whose music championed an idyllic beach bum lifestyle, he certainly knew how to make money. And he made quite an impression on the Celebrity Jukebox too...

If I die young let me die in California

And when I'm gone, let 'em play my favorite song

It's Jimmy Buffett to remember, 

Life's a beach, baby, enjoy it!

Lana Del Rey - On & On & On (If I Die Young)

Here's a song about smoking too much weed. No idea why that would mention Jimmy...

I don't know if I'm understood

But hearing Jimmy Buffett never sounded so good

The Offspring - Mota

Even rappers love Jimmy!

HAHA-YO - Jimmy Buffett

But wait, there's more. Specifically, Cecil Otter. Yes, you read that right. There's a rapper called Cecil Otter... 

I'm a son of a gun

The son of a son of a sailor

Jimmy Buffett

I'm a son of a gun

The son of a son of a sailor

Cecil Otter - Lakeshore Drifter

In case you were wondering what he's going on about, here's another great Jimmy Buffett tune...

Can I beat the name Cecil Otter? How about Mack Abernathy?

He's got Jimmy Buffett playin' on the radio

A jug of coffee and a roll of Skoal

Mack Abernathy - Pocket Rocket Ranger

(Skoal is a brand of smokeless tobacco, apparently. Don't ask me.)

Or you could try Del's brother from a Texan Mother, Ritchie Trotter...

I wanna sell it all and move to the coast

Take early retirement and buy me a boat

Live like Jimmy Buffett and let my worries wash away

I’d trade this 9 to 5 for the pirate life

Ritchie Trotter & The Motor Company - Son Of A Beach

...which gives me an excuse to play another great Jimmy Buffett tune...

Rocking Horse will no doubt feature on a future edition of Namesakes. Here's one band who have used that name...

Rocking Horse - Play Another Jimmy Buffett Song

This guy, meanwhile, appears to have based his entire act on Jimmy...

Coastin', coozie in my hand

Workin' on a three-day tan

Coastin', losin' track of time

Easy-goin' like the tide

Yeah, laid back, ain't got nowhere to go

Jimmy Buffett on the radio

And if you wanna know where you can find me, I'll be

Chillin' knee-deep in the ocean

Niko Moon - Coastin'

Here's a brand new tune, from a band I will be investigating further. (I told you to stop rolling your eyes like that.)

Jimmy Buffett came on, margarita

Two for one, little buzz, margarita

It's the freakin' weekend, 'nother margarita

If you got one, raise it up, margarita

Smithfield - Reason For A Rita

And here's a couple of young men whose parents must surely keep telling them to get proper jobs...

Taylor Goyette - Jimmy Buffett

Jesse K Rice - Too Drunk to Meet Jimmy Buffett

Joe Nichols sounds and looks like an old school country singer... but he's still a Parrothead, by the sound of it.

If I was Jimmy Buffett, I'd sing about swimmin'

If I was a Stone, it'd be about Honky Tonk women

If I was Ole Blue Eyes, I'd sing Fly Me To The Moon

But since I'm just me, I'd sing about you

Joe Nichols - I'd Sing About You

Here's a genuine old school country singer, and a song he co-wrote with Jimmy... as he explains in the middle...

Jerry Jeff Walker - Railroad Lady

When I heard of the Jimmy's passing though, one song immediately sprang to my mind. It's recorded live (or made to sound that way) and features a perfectly timed guest appearance by the great man himself. It also asks that very important question, "What would Jimmy Buffett do?"

(And it's not the only song to do that, as Keith Robinette will tell you.)

So let's raise a glass to Jimmy, for whom heaven must surely be Margaritaville. And if you think it's too early in the day, just remember: It's Five O'Clock Somewhere...

 

Hot 100 #24

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the excellent Fallover 24, with their superb tune, Pessimistic Man. What finer tune could there be to issue in another bumper edition of our countdown?

Bumper being the operative word, let's crack on with your suggestions and see if anyone guessed my "obvious" 24...


First out of the gates this week was Charity Chic, certain that he'd backed the odds on favourite...

I'll save everyone the bother this week as there can only be one winner.

Gene Pitney -24 Hours from Tulsa

I've made no secret of my love of this song in the past, so surely CC takes the prize?

Erm... no, sorry. Not this time. I love the way Gene nods his head when he sings "okay" in that video though.

Martin was then straight in with the obvious follow-up suggestion...

Carter USM - 24 Minutes From Tulse Hill

Followed by Lynchie, who reminded us of Gene's lesser-spotted 24...

Gene Pitney - 24 Sycamore

It may please you all to know that they were the first three on my list. Which isn't in any order other the order I think of them or find them on my hard drive.

Jim in Dubai also reminded us of the Yachts' cover of 24 Hours From Tulsa, which featured on this blog just a few weeks back.

Martin then returned to point out that there are "shed load of different songs called "24 Hours", so take your pick from (amongst others)..."

Tom Jones - 24 Hours

Look up "over-emoting" in the dictionary and there's a link to that video.

10cc - 24 Hours

(That one almost goes on for 24 Hours as well.)

Joy Division - 24 Hours

And Martin's favourite 24 Hour song (but not mine... there's a clue)...

The Sundays - 24 Hours

While we're at it, I also found these...

Shack - 24 Hours

Sky Ferreira - 24 Hours

Todd Snider - 24 Hours A Day

Barbara Pennington - 24 Hours A Day

Eddie Boyd - 24 Hours

Eddie Boyd - 24 Hours of Fear

Edwin Starr - 24 Hours (To Find My Baby)

Athlete - 24 Hours

The Handsome Family - 24 Hour Store

The Candyskins - 24 Hours (U.S.E.D.)

The Vibrators - 24 Hour People (steals its intro from Johnny B. Goode)

Jim in Dubai added another one...

The Chefs - 24 Hours

Jim also suggested the band at the top of the page, and Twenty 4 Seven - I Can't Stand It which brings back the true horror of the charts in my teenage years. Thanks for that, Jim. I haven't slept for a week.

Now, last week, those of you who were paying attention will have notice a new rule which was imposed upon this quiz as we get nearer #1. A new rule which will henceforth be known as "The Lime Green Rule"...

Oh, one final thing. Unless they're amazing suggestions, I'm going to stop allowing lyrical 24s (and so on) as we get nearer number one. Let's face it, there are way too many. So you'll have to be really persuasive if you want to sell me on a lyrical reference from now on. Sorry.

First to fall foul of this rule was Lynchie (who did later realise his mistake) when he suggested...

Smokie - Living Next Door To Alice

'Cause for twenty-four years I've been living next door to Alice

The thing is, I really like this song. However, it has been forever tarnished in my mind by the band re-recording it with Roy Chubby Brown as (Who The Fuck Is) Alice? Which is right up there in my mind with Lindisfarne's Fog On The Tyne featuring Gazza. I'm not linking to either of those debacles though, no matter how much it upsets George, who appears to be a fan.

George did redeem himself with his next idea though...

Does 2 4 6 8 Motorway count?

No, but it's still a belter.

Tom Robinson Band - 2468 Motorway

Someone else who ignored the Lime Green rule was Rigid Digit, but fortunately both his real suggestions have featured previously back in week #36, so go find them there. In desperation he adds...

...or, how anything by Status Quo - lifted from 12 Gold Bars Vol I and Vol II

(2 lots of 12 are 24 - is that the sound of a barrel being scraped?)

Definitely. However, just to keep you and Jez happy...

Status Quo - Caroline

Next up was Douglas, limiting his own suggestions this week...

Firstly, Lana Del Rey's song "24" is actually quite lovely in her fragile sad kind of way. I know there is a lot of feeling that she went off the rails after the stellar Born to Die album, with her quest for fame and newfound penchant for explicit lyrics, but this one is back to form, I think. Sounds a bit like she's auditioning for a Bond film end-credits theme.

Agreed. And it was on my list.

Lana Del Rey - 24

Then there is Pink Floyd, with "Chapter 24". I wonder what they were smoking when they came up with the lyrics for that one?

Pink Floyd - Chapter 24

That one wasn't. But at least it's from the Syd era.

And I know it breaks your No lyrics" rule but sure the "Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go...I wanna be sedated" lyric is so iconic and so close to being in the title that an exception could be made...?

Just this once. Because the video is pretty cool.

The Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated

But still nobody guessed my "obvious" choice. Oh wait, here's The Swede, certain he's cracked it...

I'm assuming that your really obvious one must be:

Prince Far-I - Psalm 24

It certainly sprung immediately to my mind.

I'll also offer:

Clem Snide - Tuesday, October 24th

And:

Jason Isbell - 24 Frames

The last one was in serious contention, Swede.

I was about to put this post to bed when curiosity got the better of Douglas...

Okay, I'm puzzled that the "obvious" has still gone unmentioned so I will venture a few more guesses...

Mary Chapin Carpenter - John Doe No. 24

That's lovely. And was on my list.

Kings of Convenience - 24-25

That wasn't, because sadly I only own one KoC album. So far.

Stevie Nicks - 24 Karat Gold

That was also on the list. But not the winner, as Douglas himself guessed.

I feel these are getting less and less "obvious", though some are decent enough songs. But what is left? I think we are all going on strike if it turns out to be the awful Bruno Mars song I came across in my digging that I won't even mention by name...

I had no idea of the track Douglas was referring to, so I had to go investigate.

Bruno Mars - 24K

And there we have the "obvious" winner!

Only joking.

Before we get to the reveal then, here's a few more spewed up from the depths of my archives...

Red House Painters - 24

Kozelek.

Mudhoney - 24

Julian Cope - 24a Velocity Crescent

Momus - A Complete History of Sexual Jealousy (Pt. 17-24)

Another contender. Didn't make it this week, but that's not to say it won't stand a chance in 7 weeks' time.

So, which song made me smile the most this week if it wasn't 24 Hours From Tulsa?

Here comes C... not with the answer, but its inspiration...

Happy Mondays feat. Karl Denver - 24 Hour Party People

All of which leads us back to Nigel Blackwell, who's having a bit of trouble down at the 24 Hour Garage. (Presumably this was soon after visiting Argos to record this: Half Man Half Biscuit - £24.99 from Argos.)

Take it away, Nige... start doing what you can to wind up that guy behind the counter!

I’ll have ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas

Ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas

And a blues CD on the Hallmark label

– that’s sure to be good

Far fewer 23s to choose from, but the Lime Green Rule still applies. Let's see what you can come up with...

Saturday Snapshots #12 - The Answers

And we're back in the room...


10. Two things Otis claimed to have in Tramp go paseo.

 (It's OK, by the way, that's his wife.)

In Tramp, Otis tells Carla Thomas...

I got six Cadillacs, five Lincolns, four Fords
Six Mercuries, three T-Birds, Mustangs, ooh, I'm a lover

One type of Cadillac is the Cadillac Deville. Carla goes on to tell him...

You can't buy me all those minks and sables and all that stuff I want

To which Otis replies...

I can buy you minks, rats, frogs, squirrels, rabbits, anything you want, woman

Gram got Mink Deville, but thought maybe the Cadillac doubled up as a reference to Cadillac Walk.

Alyson and C got out their Spanish dictionaries to reveal that a 'paseo' is a stroll.

Mink DeVille - Spanish Stroll

9. Scottish comics get me really angry.

The Dandy is a famous Scottish comic. These guys were a not-that-famous Britpop band from Leeds.

George puzzled that one out, with a couple of hints.

The Dandys - You Make Me Want To Scream

8. Silly & lazy, yet insists on being a traditional bride.

Silly Billy apparently took his stage name from the fact his teachers called him idle.

Alyson rocked out to this one.

Listen to that intro! Then enjoy the outrageous 80s excess of the video...

Billy Idol - White Wedding

7. Like The Man says, the right Geordie goes a little French.

Van 'The Man' Morrison sang 'Jackie Wilson Said... it was Reet Petite'. (Dexys, of course, sang about Jockey Wilson.)

Reet is Geordie for right.

Petit is French for small.

Lynchie nabbed this one.

Jackie Wilson - Reet Petite

6. Big O song of the Spanish king. I was always an Atari man myself.

Roy Orbison sang about Lana.

Del Rey means 'of the king' in Spanish.

Lana Del Rey - Video Games

Chris had a few goes at this, but George snatched the victory.

5. Not Morrissey's world; not Mr. Ed or Shergar either.

Morrissey sang America Is Not The World.

Mr. Ed & Shergar were both horses... with names.

America - A Horse With No Name

Another one for Lynchie - fighting it out with George for top spot this week.

4. Add 997 to the above, supporting camping without golf in the Reformation.

In the previous picture, there were three swordsmen. 3 + 997 = 1000.

A tentpole supports you when you're camping - take away a golf tee and you're left with Tenpole.

The Reformation happened in Tudor times.

Tenpole Tudor - Swords of a Thousand Men

Another big win for George. Charity Chic wants Ed TPT's trousers.

(Another top video too, if you've got the time.)

3. A sweet Beatles girl and a jerky fellow get disconnected.

The Beatles sang about "sweet Loretta Martin" (George's missus). A jerk is an American twit.

Lynchie got the artists, Charity Chic got the song.

Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty - As Soon As I Hang Up The Phone

(IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT BEFORE YOU DIE OR YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED.)

2. Night sky obscured by Carly's coffee, "Yay!" say the upper class twits.

Carly Simon had clouds in her coffee.

Rah = yay. Apparently, Rah is also a derogatory term for the upper classes. Why anyone would want to be derogatory about the upper classes is beyond me.

The Rah Band - Clouds Across The Moon

Lynchie has no shame. (It's the only song of theirs that I know too... but I love it unashamedly.)

Another video that screams for your attention.

1. Delta, famous for 15 minute soup and a Queen simile.

Delta = D.

Andy Warhol did pictures of Campbell's soup and told us we'd all be famous for fifteen minutes.

Queen sang Bohemian Rhapsody

Similes, as I keep telling my students, mostly involve like or as.

Somehow, I've never seen the video this before. Can't understand why they never showed it on Top of the Pops. (Clue: it's NSFW.)

Another George victory.



Can't wait for next week's. #9 already has me chuckling...

My Top Ten Jeans Songs

Surprisingly, despite making Number One in last week's Top Ten Jean Songs, Bruce doesn't make the Songs About Jeans chart at all... despite that iconic image above. (However, a band of his biggest fans do feature at #5.)

Here are ten songs about pulling your blue jeans on and getting that denim all dirty...

Special mentions to The Swinging Blue Jeans, Beth Jeans Houghton & The Hooves Of Destiny, Bob B. Soxx & The Blue Jeans, Mr. Little Jeans, Pissed Jeans, and Jack Jeans (I had to link to that one).



10. Gene Vincent - Blue Jean Bop

Be-Bop-A-Lula is one of the defining records of rock 'n' roll, but Gene Vincent was never really able to bottle that lightning again. This is about as close as he got, a "minor" follow-up "hit"... although this was back in the days when "minor" hits still sold a million copies even if they only made number 49 in the charts.

9. Little Man Tate - Hello Miss Lovely (So You Like My Jeans)

Unfairly labeled a poor man's Arctic Monkeys, Little Man Tate called it a day in 2009. Which is a shame, because they wrote witty, spiky guitar pop songs... the sort of thing the radio is sorely missing these days.

8. David Dundas - Jeans On

The 70s was obviously a great decade for songs about jeans (see below) and this is the one that famously doubled up as an advert for Brutus Jeans. It seems Dundas was a member of British nobility - his full name and title is Lord David Paul Nicholas Dundas - as his dad was Lawrence Aldred Mervyn Dundas, 3rd Marquess of Zetland (also a famous tennis player in the 40s).

Well, I never knew that.

Of course, iffypedia might have made it all up... you never know.

The song was also covered a few years back by Chungking... but sadly, I can't find their version on youtube.

7. The View - Same Jeans

Scruffy Scottish indie kids - they've had the same jeans on for four days now - with their only Top Ten hit from 2007. It's rare I say this... but it seems longer ago than that.

6. Jimmy Webb - Lady Fits Her Blue Jeans

As previously discussed on this site, Jimmy Webb is god. Although he's more famous as a songwriter than a performer, he's also released a succession of excellent solo albums over the last 40 years, five of which were recently reissued in an extremely affordable box set on the Rhino label. Considering how rare these albums were prior to the box set, it's pretty much an essential purchase for fans of quality songwriting. This is taken from the 4th album in the 5 disc set, 1974's Land's End. Gorgeous stuff.

5. The Gaslight Anthem - Blue Jeans & White T-Shirts

The Gaslight Anthem always wear their New Jersey roots on their sleeves and this one describes perfectly Bruce's famous 80s dress sense... while also throwing in a sly reference to early Tom Waits.

This track's a bit of a rarity, from the 2008 EP Señor and the Queen, but it stands up as well as some of their better known songs.

4. The Donnas - Dirty Denim

Classic spunky & punky girl-pop from the California foursome led by the female Brett Anderson. In the Suede versus Denim battle, it's hard to call a winner. The other Brett never wrote anything as bitchy as this...

You look like you've only slept for an hour
You smell like you haven't taken a shower
And your hair is so dirty
It makes you look like you're thirty

Your pants are slung way too low
I see stuff I don't wanna know
I wonder why you're so moody?
Is it 'cause you've got no booty?

3. Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans

That second Lana Del Rey album - the one with Video Games on, the one that made her a star - is still an amazing piece of work, even if she's failed to live up to its potential since. The cognoscenti may have tried to expose her as a phoney or a poseur... but what do the cognoscenti know? She has a new album out this week - fingers crossed it's a return to form.

2. Denim - Back In Denim

Lawrence (he has no second name... except he does, and it's Hayward) started life in fondly remembered 80s indie band Felt. Then sometime in the early 90s, he folded up the Felt and embraced Denim - with added glam stomp. Since then, he's gone ultra lo-fi with Go Kart Mozart... but if you ask me, Denim will always be his finest hour.

1. Neil Diamond - Forever In Blue Jeans

Listen - money talks, all right? Even if it don't sing or dance or walk...

There is a popular mondgreen associated with this tune, that Neil's actually singing "Reverend Blue Jeans". Which would be wonderful... if it were true.

What can I say, if you don't appreciate a bit of classic Neil... there's something missing in your life.




Next week (if I have time) - the final part of the trilogy. My Top Ten Gene Songs.

Meanwhile, don't put your jeans back in the wardrobe just yet. Which is your Nick Kamen?