Cover Me Monday #18: Night Fever

In tribute to Martin's excellent series Cover Charge, which reach its impressive fiftieth edition late last week, I am reviving one of my old series... for one day only.

Here's an original tune by the peerless Gibb brothers, which I'm sure you're all familiar with...

And here's a cover which sounds nothing like the original, but does sound very much like a Jonathan Richman song. This is taken from JR's new album, Only Frozen Sky Anyway, which comes out to buy in October, but it's available digitally now. You know you want to...

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #123: Sad & Alone

Even though I'm not a football fan, I've been enjoying the show Ted Lasso very much. Louise got bored with it towards the end of the first season, she said it was trying too hard to recreate the "feelgood" tone of Parks & Recreation... and I can see what she means... but I'll take my feelgood anywhere I can get it these days.

Anyway, I finally had time to watch the end of Season 1 over the Easter holiday, and that last episode had me in tears on more than one occasion. I can see perfectly well that the show is emotionally manipulative, but so much TV leaves me feeling absolutely nothing these days, so I think it's worthy of note when something breaks through my cynicism.

There was one line in particular that made me hit pause until I had time to collect myself and carry on watching. It worked in the context of the show, but it spoke to me beyond that... and made me grateful for what I've got.

There is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and sad.

The Beautiful South - Alone

Carly Simon - Alone

The Morning After Girls - Alone

Lee Hazlewood & Suzi Jane Hokom - Alone

Utopia - Alone

Richard Hawley - Alone

The Southlanders - Alone

Marc Almond - Alone

The Bee Gees - Alone

The Mighty Wah - Alone

Sequel Songs #8: Major Tom

I have a list of Sequel Songs that I'm working my way through, but because time is limited at the moment, I've been trying to pick ones I think I can write about quickly. The problem is, when I start, I often fall down a rabbit hole...

For here

Am I sitting in a tin can

Far above the world

Planet Earth is blue

And there's nothing I can do

Theoretically, today's post was going to involve just three songs. The first, obviously, was David Bowie's first UK Chart hit, a song which was rush-released in July 1969 to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landing (the BBC even used it to soundtrack their coverage). It was inspired by Kubrick's 2001, reflecting how alienated Bowie himself felt at this point in his career (having been knocking on the door of the charts for some time, with nobody letting him in), and musical inspiration came from the kind of thing the Bee Gees were doing at that point in their career. If you're surprised by that, I'd point you towards one of my favourite Bee Gees tunes, also from 1969, and I can kind of hear where Bowie might have been coming from...

The Bee Gees - Marley Purt Drive

Although Space Oddity did make the Top Ten, it would be another three years before Bowie returned to the charts, ironically with a song that's another thematic continuation, although by this point he clearly feels more like an alien than an astronaut.

David Bowie - Starman

After that, Bowie was here to stay. Maybe it took that long for the world to be ready for him. It wouldn't be any kind of stretch to call him "ahead of his time". Space Oddity was re-issued in 1975, when it became his first chart-topper. His second chart-topper came five years later... and it was the official sequel to Space Oddity.

Do you remember a guy that's been

In such an early song?

I've heard a rumour from Ground Control

Oh no, don't say it's true

By this time, Major Tom was floating in a very different kind of space, having succumbed to drug addiction... the autobiographical elements still clearly present.

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky

We know Major Tom's a junkie

Strung out in heaven's high

Hitting an all-time low

Now, I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator. Many of you will know that others took up the story, most notably German singer Peter Schilling, whose 1982 single Major Tom (Völlig Losgelöst) reached Number One in both Germany and Austria in 1983... and though the English language version didn't make the UK charts, it did get to #14 in the US.

Schilling's song does appear to offer a little hope of a happy ending for the good Major...

Across the stratosphere, a final message

"Give my wife my love," then nothing more

Far beneath the ship the world is mourning

They don't realize he's alive

No one understands, but Major Tom sees

"Now the light commands, this is my home

I'm coming home"

Iffypedia suggests other artists sought to continue the narrative, though Empty Glass by Canadian band The Tea Party feels more like a Bowie tribute song...

Where do we belong?

Could you help us, Major Tom

'Cause nothing's making sense

I listen and lament

A star man will come

When diamond dogs run

We need ground control

We're losing our souls

The Tea Party - Empty Glass

And if we include that, we should also offer space to the Conchords...

Flight of the Conchords - Bowie's In Space

Another Canadian, K.I.A. offers a different perspective on Major Tom's story, from his earthbound wife...

K.I.A. - Mrs. Major Tom

A version of that song, sung by Sheryl Crow, appeared on William Shatner's fourth album, thematically based on Bowie's character, entitled Seeking Major Tom. The album also included Shatner's own version of the Peter Schilling song...

William Shatner - Major Tom (Coming Home)

And here's a direct retelling (but not a cover version) of the original tale by LA rock band Shiny Toy Guns...

Shiny Toy Guns - Major Tom

And a different take, in French, from Plastic Bertrand...

Plastic Bertrand - Major Tom

Meanwhile, Major Tom crops up in all kinds of other bizarre places, including...

Def Leppard - Rocket

Lana Del Rey - Terrence Loves You

Five Star - Rain Or Shine

Falco - Satellite to Satellite

Wall of Voodoo - The Grass Is Greener

Kitchens of Distinction - Japan To Jupiter

I think it's fair to say Major Tom has really made the grade. No wonder the papers want to know whose shirts he wears.

However, you may have wondered about my earlier comment, "I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator." Did David Bowie have anything else to say about his greatest creation. Well... yes, it seems he did. Many believe that his 1996 collaboration with the Pet Shop Boys contains an update on the Major Tom story...

David Bowie & The Pet Shop Boys - Hallo Spaceboy

But I'm told that Major Tom's final appearance comes in the the video to the title track of the final Bowie album, Blackstar. Many people (including the director) believe that the dead astronaut seen at the start of the video is Major Tom at the end of his journey...

Conversations With Ben #14: Mr. Blobby & The Super Gonorrhea

Rol: One of my greatest musical heroes just died.

Ben: The man who wrote the Mr Blobby song?

Robert Blobbert?

Obviously.

I always imagined it was BBC interns in the Blobby suit that Edmonds played some weird fetish game with by making them wear the suit...

Who was the death?

Jim Steinman.

The Footloose guy? Wasn't that the other day?

I only saw it today. He didn't write Footloose. That was Kenny Loggins. He did write Holding Out For A Hero, but that's a lesser work. He also wrote all the good Meat Loaf songs, plus Total Eclipse of the Heart and some stuff that Celine Dion murdered, but was done far better by others.

Chuck Berry + Phil Spector + Springsteen + Wagner + a shameless sense of melodrama and hyperbole = Jim Steinman.

Wagner as in...?

Or Wagner as in...?

Richard.

Seems like it could be a little of both, actually.

I think that's a fair point.

Did I ever tell you about how one of my old best mate's girlfriend's parents were Rod Stewart and Tina Turner tribute acts? Big ones.

They had a house in Penistone. One of the massive ones on the river.

We used to stay over a lot. They were really nice and loved hosting us all the time. They had a recording studio in their garden where they, and other tribute acts would record. 

One of the most surreal moments in my life is waking up, hungover, walking into their kitchen and seeing Rod Stewart, Marc Bolan and Meatloaf smoking weed.

Sounds like that Pulp video...

I don't think I've ever seen the video. I thought it was the video to Disney Time. No idea why.

And now I remember that Disney Time is on Cocker's solo album.

I'd forgotten that track completely.

Some forgettable tunes on that album. Especially when it starts with the swagger of Don't Let Him Waste Your Time. It definitely trails off.

Maybe. I love that final Pulp album though.

It's the one I've listened to the least. Listening priority in order: This Is Hardcore, His N Hers, Different Class, PULP. Does anybody even count the first two?

By Pulp do you mean Intro?

There were 4 albums before Intro / HnH. All contain interesting material, but not up to later standards.

Fairground is a terrible song and that's all I can think about with their old stuff.

Separations is the best of the early albums. Countdown, My Legendary Girlfriend in particular.

For me, We Love Life is the perfect coda to their career. I love TIH (favourite album of 90s) but I prefer that they went out on a happy note.

Scott Walker too. Pop sensibilities SW, not mad old hermit making unlistenable twaddle SW. Quite an achievement.

First text from the boss this morning came through at 6.20.

Tell her to leave you alone. That is not just not on, it's absolutely pathetic.

I have.

Send her an envelope full of flour. Make her think it's ricin or anthrax.

She'd only ring me up and ask her what I thought she should do with it.

Well, this week's Taskmaster should hopefully cheer you up. A very funny one.

One word.

Casserole.

I await the vague upward curl at the edge of my mouth.

In reply, Ben sends the following video...

I think that's the least hip song you've ever sent me. I respect that.

No. That would be this one...

I found this record in a shop years ago. And I'm still not positive that Tennille is not actually attracted to muskrats.

Nah. Captain & Tennille are acceptable kitsch.

That song should never be acceptable. And The Cap is a prick.

*Was* a prick

I didn't realise you knew him.

We used to go to the same milk bar.

I've never been able to hear Secret Smile in the same way since someone told me it was a metaphor for a vagina.

That's uncomfortable.

Maybe you're mixing it up with the film, Teeth?

Was that the Barry Gibb biopic?

That's what I thought I was settling down for...

That film would have been even scarier if her nether regions had Barry Gibb's face. And maybe a big medallion and huge white collars.

That needs to be optioned as soon as possible.

My Saturday night treat this week is my Covid jab.

Well, you're lucky. I'm still here without one.

Just got down to the under 50s. But I thought you might have been fast tracked because of your history.

Nah. That'd involve competence at a national level.

Maybe they have you down as an insurgent. You'll be last on the list, after Putin's undercover agents.

On a more positive side of all that, last year this week I was sat gasping for breath walking up stairs. Today I ran 10k for the first time in my life.

Marathon next?

I think I'm going to try for a half marathon next year. Maybe Manchester, which is flat compared to Sheffield.

Rol replies with the following image... which Ben chooses to ignore.

I wish I could grow a 'tache like that man in the background.

I have a weird obsession with middle age men and moustaches.

My hair is too blonde otherwise I would definitely just have a 'tache.

Has to be like an 80s businessman 'tache, though.

When I was a child, I used to watch the Thin Blue Line. I was too young to understand it but it had Mr Bean and I liked the moustache man.

That's a real generation gap thing. For my generation, Mr Bean was a betrayal of Blackadder, and we never forgave Atkinson.

My early years were spent watching the Three Stooges, Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes etc, so Mr Bean was right up my alley. As was Baldy Man.

I had to Google Baldy Man. Never knew he had a TV show. I only remember the Hamlet ad.

I don't remember much of it, just that I used to find it hilarious.

I miss the Hamlet ads. When I was a little, my dad smoked cigars. I loved the smell. Eventually he graduated onto pipes. Then one day, in my late teens, the doctor told him: they're killing you. So he quit. Cold Turkey.

That's admirable.

I think I'm too young to remember smoking ads.

I feel like I've seen them but not sure how much of that is due to seeing them on shows later.

I remember the billboard ads for Lambert and Butler.

TV was pretty much all smoking ads and booze ads when I was a kid. And scary ads warning us all not to die or get murdered.

And only one channel could show ads.

Indeed.

Have you seen The Offspring's Covid inspired song? It defies belief.

I last listened to Americana.

I know the singer got his PhD in infectious disease over the past few years though.

That probably explains the covid germs flying around in the video.

Why would anyone want a PhD in infectious diseases?

Dunno. A mate of mine has.

He studies super gonnarhea.

Genuinely what it's called.

But spelt correctly.

Still. Could be worse.

Could have my job.

Or he could have super gonnarhea.

It's a toss up.

Saturday Snapshots #110 - The Answers

If you were a rebel without a clue yesterday morning, here comes a giant relief... this week's answers.


10. Repetitive male title can't get Minogue right.

You spell it Kylie, not...

Mr. Mister - Kyrie

9. Double Tutu for holy people.

Double Decker + Desmond Tutu.

Desmond Dekker - The Israelites

Still hard to hear that without thinking of Vitalite.

8. Sounds like a pink loft... or what happens to Neil Diamond after he stops talking and starts getting emotional.

Pink!'s real name is Alecia Moore.

Neil Diamond sang I Am I Said.

Alisha's Attic - I Am I Feel

7. Wedlock between two fellas creates powerful medicine woman.

Two men with Fred (Wedlock) in between.

Dr. Quinn was a Medicine Woman.

Manfred Mann - The Mighty Quinn

6. Unlikely weather forecast threatens us all with death.

I'm amazed that Brian got this by recognising the artist from the photo.

Another Sunny Day - You Should All Be Murdered

5. Dustin Hoffman meets girl with axe, by muddled, rackety aunt.

"Rackety aunt" is Tanya Tucker muddled up.

Dustin Hoffman was the Rain Man.

Lizzie Borden had an axe.

Tanya Tucker - Lizzie & The Rain Man

4. Bumbled horses cross the line every time.

Bumble Bees + Gee Gees...

Bee Gees - You Win Again 

3. Sovereign & subject together promise a brighter future.

Tough one this. But Brian saved the day!

Citizen King - Better Days

2. Most babies are: it's the amniotic fluid. The hell, you say!

Hell is The Underworld.

Babies are born slippy.

Underworld - Born Slippy

1. Flawless relation found beneath pitch.

Pitch = tone.

Is there are more perfect pop song? I know Teenage Kicks takes the Peel plaudits, but it doesn't contain this line...

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her

...which is surely one of the best rhymes ever written into a chart hit.

Why aren't teenage lads making noises like this anymore?



Live Fast, Die Young... but not before coming back next week for more of the same.

Hot 100 #41

Sum 41 were the obvious choice to illustrate this week's entry in the countdown... I was always partial to getting a Fat Lip from them.

There was early agreement over this week's winner, although those of you who aren't big Boss fans were keen to offer worthy alternatives.

George was obviously going to try his best to steer me away from New Jersey, with a couple of fine suggestions...

Iron & Wine & Calexico - Prison on Route 41

Eddie Cochran - Somethin' Else

My car's out front and it's all mine 

Just a '41 Ford, not a '59

No, I don't think that was suggested for #59, George, but it should have been.

And what a riff on that song! Stolen - blatantly - by Liam Lynch... Whatever!

Our other resident non-Springsteen fan is C... although I have to say, I felt she was scraping the barrel a little with her offering...

The Dave Matthews Band - #41

Not sure what my final verdict is on Dave Matthews... but he's no Eddie Cochran. He's not even Hootie & The Blowfish.

Onto those of you who accepted the inevitable but offered alternatives for variety, starting with Martin (who only owns one Bruce Springsteen album, so I might have to send him some more in the post)...

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - US 41

Pretty good, Martin, but if we're going with Tom, I'm probably going to have to bend my own rules a little and offer this one...

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - American Girl

It was kind of cold that night 

She stood alone on her balcony 

She could the cars roll by 

Out on 441 

Like waves crashin' in the beach 

And for one desperate moment there 

He crept back in her memory 

God it's so painful 

Something that's so close 

And still so far out of reach

Actually, I was rather surprised that Martin didn't suggest this one...

Sleeper - Factor 41

I was equally surprised that Alyson didn't suggest this one...

The Bee Gees - New York Mining Disaster 1941

Or even this one, from the same year...

Harry Nilsson - 1941

Thanks, guys, leave the heavy lifting to me, that's fine.

Lynchie, meanwhile, offered an alternative which was a new one to me...

The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - Born In Chicago 

I was born in Chicago 1941

I was born in Chicago in 1941

Well, my father told me,

"Son, you'd better get a gun."

Sounds a bit like what my dad told me about Huddersfield. Lynchie adds...

"The song was written by the wonderfully named Nick Gravenites, who's worth checking out."

And from the sound of that, I concur.

Today's final suggestion was a lyrical one, from Rigid Digit...

The Allman Brothers - Ramblin' Man

My father was a gambler down in Georgia

He wound up on the wrong end of a gun

And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus

Rollin' down Highway 41

All of which brings us to today's obvious choice, as identified by The Swede, Alyson, Lynchie and Martin. Inspired by the death of Amadou Diallo, an innocent young black man who was mistaken for a rape suspect by plain clothes police officers in 1999 and shot dead.



Life begins next week. We may be some time.

The Hot 100 Countdown #94

94 East were a funk band in the late 70s founded by Pepe Willie, the husband of Prince's cousin Shauntel. Pepe gave young Prince his first taste of the music biz, getting him to play guitar in the band and even write one song: Just Another Sucker.

94 East can't fill the vacant spot in this week's Hot 100 though, as band names aren't allowed. The number has to feature in the song's title... or, at a push, its lyrics...

Which is what I've had to go to for 94, since the only 94 songs in my collection were ones featuring dates, and as I keep saying, I'm really trying to avoid though (if only because, somewhere down the line, I have an idea for a similar feature involving years). So no Tempted '94, no Prayer '94 (I know, that will be the biggest blow to many readers), not even the amazing 1.1.94.

Well done to those of you who managed to dig out songs with 94 in the title: more than my record collection yielded.

The Swede came up with I'm 94 Today by Will Fyffe, which certainly pleased our Scottish contingent.

Rigid Digit offered 94 Hours by As I Lay Dying, which I quite liked... until the singer started. If "singer" is the appropriate word. Probably isn't.

Alyson offered New York Mining Disaster 1941 by the Bee Gees, which is a fine piece of music but is also a year song... and although it does have a 9 & a 4 in it, I'm not sure even I could get away with calling it a 94 song.

Onto lyrical 94s then, and I must admit that Rigid Digit had me kicking myself when he offered Ben Folds' excellent Brainwascht, a song which contains the telling couplet:

But if you had to say it all with a pop song,

Couldn't you at least have written me a good one?

There is definitely a 94 in the lyrics too... but I'm not sure I understand it in the context of the rest of the song. Unless it refers to the year... in which case: disqualified.

All of which leaves me with only my original suggestion... one which C swooped in and identified immediately, before anyone else had a chance.

Supposedly, Always Crashing The Same Car is a song about Bowie ramming his Mercedes into the car of a drug dealer he thought had ripped him off, then driving at high speed round an underground car park while Iggy Pop ("Jasmine") looks on. Rock and roll...

Jasmine, I saw you peeping

As I pushed my foot down to the floor

I was going round and round the hotel garage

Must have been touching close to 94

Next up (in case counting backwards isn't your strong point): 93. I do actually have a couple of titular 93s in my music box, and I don't think either of them relate to the year I turned 21... although they might do. Anyway, let's see what you guys come up with...

My Top Ten Kitty Songs

I was jolted awake  at 5.55 on Christmas morning, not by Sam's excitement over Santa having visited, but by Louise saying, "there's someone downstairs playing Christmas music". With my heart pounding, I got out of bed and crept to the top of the stairs from where I could hear the sad refrain of Judy Garland wishing us a merry Christmas.

With visions of (at best) a burglar with a sick sense of humour or (at worst) a blood-drenched psychopath in a Santa costume, I ventured downstairs to discover...

The kitchen radio on at full blast.

Burglar?

Psychopath?

Poltergeist?

Or hyperactive kitten standing on top of the on button?

As I've already done My Top Ten Kitten Songs, here are ten kitties...


10. Sparks - Here Kitty

Ron & Russell's kitten gets stuck up a juniper tree. Bloody thing.

9. Bee Gees - Kitty Can

From 1969, when the Bee Gees were more like The Monkees. You'll have to watch it to see what I mean.

8. Bobby Darin - Pretty Miss Kitty

The airbrushed side of rock 'n' roll. Still fun.

7. The Pogues - Kitty

The Pogues did Trad. Arr. folk tunes better than most.

6. Presidents of the USA - Kitty

The Presidents are well and truly hacked off with their kitten...

Kitty up and scratch me through my jeans
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
OUTSIDE!

5. Cat Stevens - Kitty

Cat plans on partying with his Kitty.

4. Racey - Kitty

Yes, Racey.

That'll put the kitten among the pigeons.

You may know this better as the Toni Basil version, Hey Mickey! You may also choose to deny knowledge of either. But I know when you're lying...

3. Laura Cantrell - Kitty Wells Dresses

Cred instantly restored (in some quarters, at least) with a lovely bit of pedal steel and one of John Peel's favourite country singers.

2. Darts - The Boy From New York City

Racey and Darts in the same top ten? I can still irk those musos when I want to.

Sing it after me:

Ooh ahh ooh ahh, cool, cool kitty...

1. Bruce Springsteen - Kitty's Back

Those of you who know about such things will hardly be surprised to find this early Bruce number holding off all challengers at Number One. I song I loved so much, I named the novel I wrote for my English degree (my excuse for a dissertation!) after it. My tutor was scathing... but I scraped at 2:1.

This live version from '78 is amazing...


Any kitties in your collection?

My Top Ten Ingrid Bergman Songs

Yes, it's the series nobody really likes, but I do it anyway. Indulge me!

Having done Bogie, it seems only fair I give some thought to his Casablanca co-star. Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?


10. Duran Duran - Notorious

When I started in radio, this record had been out a couple of years and so the jocks (who still had free choice back then... for a short time) would dig it out and give it a spin quite often. Mostly so they could make the same gag: Mo-mo-monotonous...

Still, good memories.

Notorious is a great Hitchcock film, with Ingrid and Cary Grant.

9. Serge Lama & Carla Bruni - Casablanca

Most of it's in French, so I don't understand a word of it... except when they sing about Bogart et Ingrid Bergman...

8. Bee Gees - For Whom The Bell Tolls

Hard to imagine that Robin, Maurice and Barry were big Hemingway fans, but they did steal the title of one of his most famous novels... made into a 1943 movie starring Ingrid & Gary Cooper.

7. The Alan Parsons Project - Call Up

If Alan had a time machine, he'd use it to rescue a bunch of dead stars. Ingrid would be among them, in excellent company.

6. Siouxsie & The Banshees - Spellbound

More Hitchcock, this time with Gregory Peck. Siouxsie is a huge Hitchcock fan.

5. Sleeper - Lie Detector

She's a movie star arrangement
Got a touch of Bergman to her face
She wears suits and buys him flowers
Smokes his cigarettes and bakes him cakes
He says uh oh I love you
But I'm not sure I trust you

Weird thing is, I reckon Louise Wener had a touch of Bergman to her face too. 

4. Richard Thompson - Jerusalem On The Jukebox

In the bathroom mirror they try that Joan of Arc look again
Two parts Ingrid Bergman to one part Shirley MacLaine...

3. The Beautiful South - Good As Gold (Stupid As Mud)

I want my sun-drenched, windswept Ingrid Bergman kiss...

Don't we all?

2. Pulp - The Day After The Revolution

The closing track on the greatest album of the 90s, and the one that killed Britpop. I loved Britpop, but it needed killing.

Fair enough, the Bergman that Jarvis claims is over may well be Ingmar (no relation to Ingrid), but it's my blog and so I'll pretend he was singing about Ingrid just so I get to play this amazing track.

1. Billy Bragg - Ingrid Bergman

I know I featured this a few weeks back in My Top Ten Innuendo Songs, but it's worth giving it another spin without the phnarrs... because it's beautiful. Woody Guthrie lives, through the Bard of Barking.




Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake.

September #5: The Bee Gees

5. The Bee Gees - Marley Purt Drive

This'll separate the musos from the shameless...

I owe this one to the King of Music Bloggers, Any Major Dude, who included it on one of his mixes some time ago. From 1969, this is not your typical Bee Gees record. In fact, it owes quite a debt to The Weight by The Band, although the story it tells is entirely different. Apparently, Barry, Maurice and Robin were listened to a lot of country music at the time so they enlisted bluegrass banjo player Bill Keith for Odessa, the album this came from.

It's the lyrics that get me though (as is so often the case), the story of a guy with "fifteen kids and a family on the skids" who has to (quite understandably) "go for a Sunday drive". What he finds waiting on his doorstep when he gets home is another story entirely...

My Top Ten Alone... Songs

There are hundreds of great songs about being alone. So I had to narrow down the running.

Here's ten that begin with the word 'Alone'... do play by the rules now.



10. The Strokes - Alone, Together

The Strokes are OK. I still kinda prefer their dad. (See last week's Top Ten.)

9. The Morning After Girls - Alone

One of the reasons I do this blog is because it forces me to listen to songs that exist in my record collection that I've never listened to before. This was ripped from one of those free magazine CDs a few years back... and it's pretty cool.

8. The Bee Gees - Alone

Because we don't get enough Bee Gees round these parts.

7. Spearmint - Alone In A Town

According to google, this song does not exist. Which is a crying shame because it's a tragic story of Shirley Lee's loneliest student Christmas. Track it down and share his misery.

6. King - Alone Without You

Do not watch the video. Remember this song without sullying your eyeballs with the worst excesses of 80s pop nonsense. No wonder Paul King ended up working for MTV.

Na-na Na nana 
Nana Naa Na na nana!

5. The Beautiful South - Alone

Half an hour is seven hours
One day is several months... alone.

Heato at his most heartbreaking.

He knows 'hello' in 18 languages
'I love you' in only one
By the time he's got his phrasebook
His chance is usually gone

4. The Broken Family Band - Alone In The Make-Out Room

A song about being feeling terribly alone in a "happy" relationship... gone very bad.

I wanna watch you drown in a lake
Or get stamped by a bull or bit by a snake
And there is not a single doctor who will come and help you

I want you to move to Australia
With me a success and you facing failure
And all of the friends you had ignoring your calls

3. Heart - Alone

All I need is to hear the opening line and suddenly I'm 15 again and no one will ever love me...

2. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again, Naturally

First Gilbert gets dumped at the altar, then his mum and dad pop their clogs. No wonder he wants to top himself...

In a little while from now,
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promised myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower,
And climbing to the top,
Will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it's like when your shattered
Left standing in the lurch, at a church
where people 're saying,
"My God that's tough, she stood him up!
No point in us remaining.
We may as well go home."
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally

Pure suicide anthem joy. No wonder Morrissey was a fan.

1. Love - Alone Again, Or

One of the greatest songs of the sixties, just mesmerising. Love that Spanish guitar.

Pretty damned fine 80s cover by The Damned too. (Although the video features possibly the worst moustache ever seen in show business.)




Please don't leave me all alone without a comment...