Snapshots Spillover: More Songs For Your Arsenal

Here are some more weapons I couldn't fit into this weekend's Snapshots, starting with a man who's often connected with Guns... Mr. Rose.

Guns n Roses - Shotgun Blues

Personally, I always found clubs to be deadly places...

Rob Dougan - Clubbed To Death

I'd be better  off with an axe, like Jack...

Feet - Axe Man

Britney Spears popped up on Saturday, but here's a cool soul nugget with an actual spear in it... 

S.O.U.L. - Burning Spear

There are many different versions of the track below (starting with Lowell Blanchard), but this is my favourite...

The Blind Boys of Alabama - (Jesus Hits Like The) Atom Bomb

And here's some guys who didn't spend all their time looking at centrefolds...

J. Geils Band - Flamethrower

Parthenon Huxley was a member of ELO II, but he should be remember for more than just that...

Parthenon Huxley - Bazooka Joe

Almost done. Here's a couple of catapults...

Counting Crows - Catapult

REM - Catapult

But we'll close today with one of my favourite songs about a gun... from a man of religion.

One Track Mind #5: Moon Shadow

"This song is really weird, dad? What's it about?"

Al Green - What's It All About?

This is the kind of question that fills me with joy, because if Sam cares what a song is about, he's clearly engaging with it. In the case of Moon Shadow though... I really don't have an answer. I have an idea... but it's not one that Cat Stevens, Yusuf Islam or Steven Demetre Georgiou appears to agree with. Neither is it an interpretation I see echoed by online "experts". Does this mean I'm wrong?

Putney Bridge - What's It All About?

Any number of poets, writers and lyricists will tell you that when they let their words out into the wild, it's not up to them to enforce an interpretation on the audience. Some writers actively refuse to discuss the "message" behind their stories, preferring to allow the individual reader or listener to infer their own meanings. Sylvia Plath wrote...

"Once a poem is made available to the public, the right of interpretation belongs to the reader..."

Run DMC - What's It All About?

Nick Cave agrees, saying that when he writes songs, he wants his listeners to come to their own conclusions. He refuses to "take away their power by attaching my own meaning to them". 

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - We Call Upon the Author

This is the power of art - we add our own connotations, beliefs, prejudices, life experiences and emotions when we consume it. As I often tell my students: in English, there are no right answers. You just need to be able to explain your own interpretation so that it makes sense to someone else. They might not agree with you, they just need to be able to see how you've arrived at your conclusions. 

The Sundays - What Do You Think?

Moon Shadow, then, is not - for me, at least - "softly tailored folderol from Cat Stevens [which] shows his whimsical side". Nor does it persuade me to "See life as it is, right now, and [not] compare it to others' lives, or other times in your life." Neither am I convinced of any religious message behind the lyrics, despite Stevens' later conversion from Christianity to Islam. Although interestingly, when that conversion took place, Yusuf Islam stopped singing any of his old Cat Stevens songs... except this one, which he later claimed was his favourite. 

In 2009, Cat Stevens tried to explain Moon Shadow to Chris Isaak...

"I was on a holiday in Spain. I was a kid from the West End – bright lights, et cetera. I never got to see the moon on its own in the dark, there were always streetlamps. So there I was on the edge of the water on a beautiful night with the moon glowing, and suddenly I looked down and saw my shadow. I thought that was so cool, I'd never seen it before."

Chris Isaak - Dark Moon

Which all sounds very positive, doesn't it? Over on the tube of you, people agree. Some call it "the ultimate optimist song". "There's something about the imagery of total freedom and dancing under the moon," says an old 'hippie kid', "which appeals to my wild self." Another youtuber, who says the song got them through a very dark period, explains, "this song is like, 'No matter how dark it gets, it can always be worse... but there's always light". 

Labelle - Moon Shadow

If you want to consider alternative interpretations to songs, youtube is definitely the place to look. In the past week, quite a few American commenters have suggested Moon Shadow as "the official song of the 2024 solar eclipse". While someone else can be found reminiscing over the time it was used in an episode of Airwolf with Jan Michael Vincent. This was my favourite though...

"Now I know why Moonlight Shadow sounded better in my childhood. It was actually Moon Shadow!"

Mike Oldfield & Maggie Reilly - Moonlight Shadow

And let's not forget this quirky little reimagining: an animated fairy tale devised by Cat Stevens and narrated by Spike Milligan in which a boy and his cat attempt to rescue the moon when it falls out of the sky...

Faced with this overwhelming barrage of evidence that Moon Shadow is a sweet, life-affirming tune... am I the only one who finds it creepy? And by that, I mean creepy in a good way. Creepy in an excellent way!

Yes, I'm bein' followed by a moon shadow

Moon shadow, moon shadow

Leapin' and hoppin' on a moon shadow

Moon shadow, moon shadow

Have you ever seen the movie It Follows? To me, the Moon Shadow is like the monster from that film. Some kind of weird supernatural entity that's following Cat around, menacing him, threatening to rob him of his hands, his eyes, his legs and his mouth...

And if I ever lose my hands

Lose my plow, lose my land

Oh, if I ever lose my hands

Oh if, I won't have to work no more

And if I ever lose my eyes

If my colors all run dry

Yes, if I ever lose my eyes

Oh if, I won't have to cry no more

The interweb suggests all this graphic body horror is linked to the time Cat Stevens almost died from tuberculosis back in 1969. His recuperation led him to reconsider his spiritual side, and may well have spurred the fears voiced in this song.

And if I ever lose my legs

I won't moan, and I won't beg

Oh, if I ever lose my legs

Oh if, I won't have to walk no more

(Meanwhile, back on youtube, there's always some Debbie Downer ready to spoil the party...

"All I can think of is the videos I have watched from Palestinians. The boy with no arms, a missing leg (and a missing foot and ankle on the other side). Listening to this, the day after the opening of the trial in The Hague. That tragic genocide has ruined this song for me.")

And if I ever lose my mouth

All my teeth, north and south

Yes, if I ever lose my mouth

Oh if, I won't have to talk

It's great that Cat can remain so upbeat - defiant, even - while being pursued by this vicious phantom... but maybe that's because his motive isn't escape. Let's not forget, this Cat is armed and dangerous...

Cat Stevens - I'm Gonna Get Me A Gun

Oh yes. And here comes the Edgar Allen Poe twist... the Cat wants to get caught!

Did it take long to find me?

I asked the faithful light

Oh, did it take long to find me?

And are you gonna stay the night? 

Hooohahahahahahahaaa. Imagine those lines delivered in Vincent Price tones and maybe you'll get where I'm coming from. It's worth noting that Cat amps up his own delivery here, adopting a much more in-your-face singing style than the alluringly amiable tone he uses for the rest of the song. For me, that's the bit that confirms all my theories. Suddenly the tables are turned and the hunter becomes the prey. 

Cat Stevens - A Bad Night

"This song is really weird, dad? What's it about?"

It's about monsters, son. Monsters that want to eat - your hands, your eyes, your legs, your mouth. And it's about how to catch them... and make them pay.

Coffee Break #1

Johnny Cash - Cup Of Coffee

While writing last week's post about my love of a good old cup of Joe, I realised that I have hundreds of tunes in my library about said beverage... any excuse for another occasional series! This one will just be a chat, like we're sitting in a coffee shop together, shooting the breeze, maybe talking about the songs they're playing in the background, maybe ignoring them and talking random shit instead. And for those of you who don't like coffee (like Martin), I'll make sure other popular beverages are available too...

Cat Stevens - Tea For The Tillerman

Is there a better one minute song than that? Seriously, if there is, I want to know about it. I mean - look at the way it builds! I can think of 8 minute album track epics that don't develop as well as that does... and then it's gone. It's perfect... although I can't help but wonder if it would have been better if it had carried on... or if the effect would have been lost with the addition of another three verses.

Hefner - The Hymn For Coffee

Louise left her scarf at the cinema during half term, so Sam and I called back there on Saturday morning to see if they had it.

"Hi," I asked the happy chappy checking e-tickets on mobile phones, "do you have a lost and found?"

"Yeah," said Stephen Patrick Morrissey's slightly less affable younger brother, "but you'll have to wait till I've checked all these people in to their films."

There weren't really any people waiting, just a couple going through the options on the automated booking screen. Eventually they finished buying their tickets and strolled over in a leisurely fashion to be checked in. 

"I suppose you better come with me then," said the gushing usher, leading us through to a dingy corridor and a door with a security code lock on it. When he opened it, we could just about make out a huge pile of coats, bags and other misplaced miscellany dumped on the floor in the corner of what looked like a cleaner's closet. "You can have a look in there, if you want."

"Is there a light?"

"No."

And so we began to rumble through the jumble. Every time we found something that might have been vaguely scarf shaped, we had to hold it out into the corridor where there was just enough light to discern vaguely recognisable details. Eventually we found the right one and went home.

"Thanks so much," I said as we left, "you're a life-saver!"

There was no reply as the gloomy flunkey shuffled back to his post.

Belle & Sebastian - Long Black Scarf

One final thing before I leave you to your day - what the hell have they done with Google Maps? 

They've changed the look so you can now see individual buildings, tiny little house and office shapes rather than just the blocked out areas of grey that used to represent buildings. It's very distracting when you're driving (and I rely on Google Maps far more than I used to, purely because I'm often on a tight schedule to get to and from work after dropping Sam off or picking him up from wraparound club). 

REM - Maps & Legends

Now I find my attention drawn not to the blue line representing my route, but to all the little shapes - is that really the shape of that house I'm driving past? Is their garden really so big? Is there a block to represent their garden shed? Does the new housing estate they're building show up, or is it still a field? If I have a crash sometime in the next few weeks, I'm telling my insurance company to call Google for compensation. 

The Front Bottoms - Maps

It makes me wonder about the future too... how much more detail can they add to these apps? Will we soon have live satellite surveillance zapped into our phones? Will we be able to see people walking down the streets, stray dogs cocking a leg at tiny lamp posts, our own car pootling down the road, as seen from above? How much of it do we actually really need? I'm not so much of a luddite that I can't admit to finding Google Maps more useful than my trusty yet tattered old Road Atlas... but where does it all end?

Snapshots #284: A Top Ten Grandparent Songs

It's my birthday today, but now that I've passed the half century, we don't celebrate them anymore.

It's also Mother's Day though, and my mum's a great grandma... as well as a great-grandma. 

Here are ten songs about grandparents...

10. Easy access acorns.

Squirrel Nut Zippers - Good Enough For Grandad

9. Bernau, Dessau, Weimar artists.

Three cities where you would find the Bauhaus school of art.

Bauhaus - Watch That Grandad Go

8. Mr. Pageboy in a muddle.

"Mr. Pageboy" was an anagram.

Moby Grape - Hey Grandma

7. Musical Miles, in the Mile High City.

John Miles made Music.

The Mile High City is Denver.

John Denver - Grandma's Feather Bed

6. Strong odour on the tracks.

There's a grand funk on the railroad.

Grand Funk Railroad - Look At Granny Run Run

5. What Billy keeps waiting for.

Billy is waiting for The Great Leap Forward.

The Great Leap Forward - My Grandfather’s Cluck

4. Mr. Owen / Anderson is finished.

Clive Owen / Anderson is done.

Clive Dunn - Grandad

And no, I couldn't bring myself to include the St. Winifred's School Choir. I do have some standards.

3. Mine king gets a peerage.

King Solomon had some mines. Burke's has a peerage.

Solomon Burke - Be Bop Grandma

2. What's new... and what's shakin'?

What's new, pussyCAT... and Shakin' Stevens =

Cat Stevens - Granny

1. It's Brew Hill!

Anagram!

Bill Withers - Grandma's Hands

More of this nonsense next Saturday.

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #86: A Dog’s Life

We live in a democratic household. Therefore when one person says he doesn’t want a dog but the other two members of society vote against him, he better be prepared to get in line. To be fair, Millie the cat was on my side, but apparently her vote doesn’t count. Or perhaps it’s my vote that doesn’t count? Millie doesn’t seem overly concerned with democracy, as long as it doesn’t affect her right to hide under the bed and never come out again, an option I have considered, but ruled out because there’s too much dust under there.

So now we have a dog: a cockapoo called Bertie. And he’s an adorable little fellow who I’m sure I’ll come to love, if I don’t already… but I still don’t want a dog. I don’t want the weight of any more responsibility. Being responsible for a child and a mortgage and a job is already more than I can bear. Because with great responsibility comes great stress, and zero power. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, but I write it down to get it out of my system. As always.

I need to get my act together for Bertie though, and for the rest of society. He’s already had a rough ride having been taken in by one family and then returned to the breeder after a couple of weeks because their jobs changed and they couldn’t handle a puppy anymore. My heart goes out to him, and to all puppies going off to new families, rolling the dice on whether they’ll get a good one or not. We’ve got to do our best by him, and if that means dragging myself out of my latest slough of despond (or at least keeping my surface hid, just like Pagliacci did), so be it.

Ben Folds – Dog

Pulp – Dogs Are Everywhere

Cat Stevens – I Love My Dog

Lobo – Me & You & A Dog Named Boo

Hot 100 Countdown: #79

Bit rushed this week, so my apologies if I race through 79s. Some great suggestions for year-based songs, including...


Charity Chic - Tom Robinson: The Winter of '79


(I'll throw in one of my own at this point: The Ataris - Summer '79)


Lynchie - Smashing Pumpkins: 1979


Rigid Digit - Saxon: Denim & Leather with the following lyrics...

"Where were you in 79, when the dam began to burst?"

Well, you probably couldn't hear the dam bursting if you were listening to Saxon.

And another lyrical one from RD - REM: Ignoreland

"They hypnotized the summer, nineteen seventy nine"

Meanwhile, Alyson offered Elton John: Are You Ready For Love ('79 Version)… except, according to my research, Alyson, this would be '76 Version. If you're aware of a '79 version, I can't seem to find it. But feel free to bring it back 3 weeks hence.


Martin has known me longest though, so wins the 1979 award this week with his suggestion: Veruca Salt - Spider-Man '79. Clue - if there's a song with Spider-Man in it, there's a good chance I'll like it. However... that still wasn't my choice for this week.


The Swede offered the only non-year suggestion this week. And let's face it, if you can't have years, then streets are always a good second best... Humble Pie - 79th Street Blues. Let's be careful out there!


Onto this week's winners then, and from my record collection... still avoiding years wherever possible... it was a toss-up between two songs. The runner-up was this...


Cat Stevens - Sun/C79


Here, the 79 appears to be a room number in a hotel where The Cat had an assignation with a somewhat disreputable young lady.


This week's winner, though, was this, from the eponymous debut album - never bettered - by Vampire Weekend. M79 is a bus route in Manhattan...





78 next week, and a couple of obvious non-year suggestions spring to my mind... one of which I suspect will be very popular with some of the usual suspects... but the other might well be my pick.

Saturday Snapshots #32 - The Answers

Summertime and the living is easy. Perhaps not as easy as you lot keep proving the answers to Saturday Snapshots to be...

I think Rigid Digit took it again this week. I tried to mix it up a bit by changing the start time. Maybe next week I'll start it at 5am and see who's up then (Brian?). Well done to the rest of you who worked hard on the rest though - the winner isn't always the one who gets up first and nabs the easy ones. The true winners are the ones who work at hard the tougher ones... sometimes discovering answers involving bands you've never heard of (so top marks to Alyson for #6).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by how many Captain & Tennille fans there are reading this blog. Or maybe just people who once they've seen The Captain... have had many, many sleepless nights as a result.


10. Young Strummer wasn't a pretty boy - and he didn't think much of you either.

Joe must have been an ugly kid?

Ugly Kid Joe - (I Hate) Everything About You

9. Muse over these siblings - their affection spills out.

Matt Bellamy is the lead singer of Muse.

The Bellamy Brothers - Let Your Love Flow

8. Followers of Paul and Jimmy are seemingly zero.

Paul Young and Jimmy Young.

The Young Disciples - Apparently Nothin'

7. She's electric - a faux murder mixes with no mutants.

Hole guitarist goes solo... and sounds better for it.

"a faux murder" is an anagram of her surname... minus the X (for mutants).

Melissa Auf der Maur - Lightning Is My Girl

6. Father John takes Pee Wee's place to date a lady plasterer cum brain surgeon.

Father John = Misty.

Pee Wee went on a Big Adventure.

Misty's Big Adventure - She Fills The Spaces In My Mind

5. Steve Rogers unites with Young, Diamond, Tennant, Hannon, Finn, Armstrong, Gaiman, Kinnock, Patrick-Harris and Sedaka. Again!

Steve Rogers is Captain America.

Those are ten Neils.

If you think that picture's scary... watch the video!

The Captain & Tennille - Do That To Me One More Time

4. A ceramic dick.

Some clues write themselves.

Moby - Porcelain

3. A bunch of hairdressers will murder me this evening.

Cutting Crew - I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight

2. Can you eat a huge apple in 60 seconds at the Regatta, boss?

Don is the mafia boss.

Henley Regetta.

New York is the Big Apple.

Don Henley - New York Minute

(Look, Boys of Summer would have been too easy.)

1. Is this Morrissey's moggy? If so, I'll shoot it.

Cat? Steven's! I'm gonna get me a gun...

Why doesn't this ever get played on the radio anymore? It's much better than Father & Son...




More next week... unless The Captain has come for his revenge.

My Top Ten Kitty Songs

I was jolted awake  at 5.55 on Christmas morning, not by Sam's excitement over Santa having visited, but by Louise saying, "there's someone downstairs playing Christmas music". With my heart pounding, I got out of bed and crept to the top of the stairs from where I could hear the sad refrain of Judy Garland wishing us a merry Christmas.

With visions of (at best) a burglar with a sick sense of humour or (at worst) a blood-drenched psychopath in a Santa costume, I ventured downstairs to discover...

The kitchen radio on at full blast.

Burglar?

Psychopath?

Poltergeist?

Or hyperactive kitten standing on top of the on button?

As I've already done My Top Ten Kitten Songs, here are ten kitties...


10. Sparks - Here Kitty

Ron & Russell's kitten gets stuck up a juniper tree. Bloody thing.

9. Bee Gees - Kitty Can

From 1969, when the Bee Gees were more like The Monkees. You'll have to watch it to see what I mean.

8. Bobby Darin - Pretty Miss Kitty

The airbrushed side of rock 'n' roll. Still fun.

7. The Pogues - Kitty

The Pogues did Trad. Arr. folk tunes better than most.

6. Presidents of the USA - Kitty

The Presidents are well and truly hacked off with their kitten...

Kitty up and scratch me through my jeans
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
OUTSIDE!

5. Cat Stevens - Kitty

Cat plans on partying with his Kitty.

4. Racey - Kitty

Yes, Racey.

That'll put the kitten among the pigeons.

You may know this better as the Toni Basil version, Hey Mickey! You may also choose to deny knowledge of either. But I know when you're lying...

3. Laura Cantrell - Kitty Wells Dresses

Cred instantly restored (in some quarters, at least) with a lovely bit of pedal steel and one of John Peel's favourite country singers.

2. Darts - The Boy From New York City

Racey and Darts in the same top ten? I can still irk those musos when I want to.

Sing it after me:

Ooh ahh ooh ahh, cool, cool kitty...

1. Bruce Springsteen - Kitty's Back

Those of you who know about such things will hardly be surprised to find this early Bruce number holding off all challengers at Number One. I song I loved so much, I named the novel I wrote for my English degree (my excuse for a dissertation!) after it. My tutor was scathing... but I scraped at 2:1.

This live version from '78 is amazing...


Any kitties in your collection?

My Top Ten Father & Son Songs... That Do Mention Fathers and Sons In The Title

Coming up on week three and this is proving the hardest (albeit most rewarding) thing I've ever done in my life. Fortunately, I'm still taking lessons in fatherhood from my record collection...


10. Chicory Tip - Son of my Father

While I have a lot of time for a great deal of 70s chart guff... this hasn't aged particularly well. Yes, kids, there was a time when all pop stars dressed like Chicory Tip...

9. Joshua Kadison - My Father's Son

A fool thinks he ain't bought and sold
Cause every man sells a bit of his soul
To bring his family home some gold
Before he knows he's gotten old

Starting a new teaching year at the same time you become a parent isn't something I'd recommend to anyone... this reminds me why I'm doing it.

8. Hank Williams - My Son Calls Another Man Daddy

Let's not bring the milkman into this, Hank...

7. Gorkys Zygotic Mynci - Sometimes the Father Is the Son

 Gorgeous song from the Welsh weirdos. Reminiscent in many ways of this next gentleman...

6. Brian Wilson - The Child Is Father Of The Man

An off-cut from the legendary SMiLE sessions, finally released in 2004, made even more special by the fact that it serves here as an intro to Surf's Up, one of the greatest Brian Wilson / Van Dyke Parks songs ever.

5. The Gaslight Anthem - Our Father's Son

Remember b-sides? Remember when b-sides used to be as strong as some a-sides?

4. Queen - Father To Son

From the days when Queen were serious Led Zep fans.

3. Peter Gabriel - Father, Son

Heartbreaking.

Can you recall
How you took me to school
We couldn't talk much at all
It's been so many years
And now these tears
Guess I'm still your child
Out on the moors
We take a pause
See how far we have come
You're moving quite slow
How far can we go
Father and son

2. Father John Misty - Only Son of the Ladiesman

Maybe a little bit of a cheat but there's both a Father and a Son in the link above and this is just gorgeous. Not that my boy will ever have to worry about his old man being described in these terms...

Couldn't see his used up body at the funeral
By virtue of the flailing of his conquests
They tied down his casket with the garter belt
Each troubled heart was beating in a sequin dress
Someone must console these lonesome daughters
No written word or ballad will appease them

1. Johnny Cash - Father and Son

Written by Cat Stevens, ruined by Boyzone... resurrected and immortalised by JC (with a little help from Fiona Apple). I love the original, but this version just floors me...





"Daddy... why do you keep making Top Tens?"

So people will leave a comment, son.

My Top Ten Newborn Songs

Sam and his mum are finally home from the hospital so my time is pretty full...but here's another list I prepared earlier. Ten songs celebrating the arrival of a new life... sort of.



10. Lloyd Cole - Brand New Baby Blues

Obscure b-side, not available to listen to anywhere on the internet, but still a damned good song. 

9. Robert Post - Newborn

Tomorrow, Robert will hop a train and come back newborn. I dread to think what the fare will be for that. I hope he booked well in advance for a sizable discount.

8. Morrissey - At Last, I Am Born

The song Moz wrote the day after finally getting a shag. 

I once thought that I had numerous reasons to cry
And I did, but I don’t anymore
Because I am born, born, born

7. Everclear - I Will Buy You A New Life

And you think you have a problem with door-to-door salesmen and Jehova's Witnesses? Just be glad you've not got Art Alexakis singing through your keyhole.

6. Depeche Mode - New Life

I have no idea what this is all about, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing to do with having a baby. Still... vintage Mode.

5. Cat Stevens - Here Comes My Baby

I challenge you to listen to the intro of this song and not feel just that little bit better.

4. Bright Eyes - The First Day of My Life

The idea of a song written from the perspective of a newborn baby sounds like cheese on a stick. Thankfully, it's Bright Eyes... not Sting.

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said "this is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"

3. Black Box Recorder - New Baby Boom

A first love song for our brand new son... courtesy of Sarah Nixey, Luke Haines and John Moore. (His two dads?)

2. Suzanne Vega - Birth-Day (Love Made Real)

I've already posted and will post a lot more songs dealing with what it feels like to become a father. This is one of the best I know about what a mother goes through...

Shakin' all over like an old sick dog
There's a needle here, needle there, tremble in the fog
It's a tight squeeze, vice grip, ice and fire
Hot little treasure and the wave goes higher

1. Elbow - Newborn 

I'll be the corpse in your bathtub...

...isn't, perhaps, the most romantic opening to a love song... but that's Guy Garvey's gift: to find beauty in the bleakest of places.




Which one would you want to enter the world to?

My Top Ten Tramp Songs

This Top Ten is specifically about hobos, bums and "gentlemen of the road". Not any other kind of tramps. We'll get to them. 


Special mention for The Trammps, Supertramp, The Drifters and The Vagrants... and Bruce, of course, because tramps like us, baby we were...


10. Cat Stevens - The Tramp

The only bed he knows is the floor...

9. The Hollies - Lonely Hobo Lullaby

Classic mid-70s ballad from the Hollies, sadly never a hit.

8. Stereophonics - More Life In A Tramp's Vest

Remember when the Stereophonics had potential? Every time I listen to a track from that superb debut album, I shake my fist at the sky and scream, "WHAT HAPPENED!?!"

7. Thea Gilmore - Brother, Can You Spare Me A Dime?

Written back in the "great" depression, recorded by everyone from Bing Crosby to George Michael to Mandy Pantikin (Saul from Homeland!) but it's Thea's version that breaks my heart.

6. Terry Bush - Maybe Tomorrow

You'll know this better as the theme tune to The Littlest Hobo.

Sorry, I've got something in my eye. 

5. Marah - My Heart Is The Bums On The Street

Probably my favourite song by Marah, though the live version on youtube doesn't really do it justice.

4. Frank Sinatra - The Lady Is A Tramp

OK, I'm bending the rules with this once, since the lady in question isn't without a home to call her own. Then again, neither is she that other kind of tramp. And let's face it, I could hardly leave it out. Although Frank's version is best, look who else recorded it...

Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga

Frank & Ella 

William Shatner

Frank & Luther Vandross

etc. etc. etc.

3. Roger Miller - King Of The Road

He's a man of means, by no means. So are The Proclaimers.

And, if you've never heard it before, check out Jody Miller's response song, Queen of the House.

2. Otis Redding & Carla Thomas - Tramp

This came very close to hitting the top spot, and on any other day it might do. It's also one of my favourite men & women bickering songs (one day I'll compile a list), basically just one big argument between Otis and Carla, with some hilarious trash-talking and zinging comebacks. My favourite is the bit where Carla calls Otis a tramp for not being able to afford to buy her all those minks and sables and stuff she wants and Otis replies, "I can buy you minks, rats, frogs, squirrels, rabbits, ...anything you want, woman." to which Carla comes back,  "Look, you can go out in the Georgia woods and find them, baby." Makes me smile every time I hear it.

It seems this was a subject close to Otis's heart. See also: Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out.

1. Cher - Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves

I seriously consider this to have one of the greatest first verses of any pop song ever written. 

I was born in the wagon of a travelling show
My momma had to dance for the money they'd throw
Papa would do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel, sell a couple of bottles of Dr. Good...

But what do I  know?



Which one are you taking with you when you hit the road, Jack?