Showing posts with label Hefner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hefner. Show all posts

Friday, 23 February 2024

Coffee Break #1

Johnny Cash - Cup Of Coffee

While writing last week's post about my love of a good old cup of Joe, I realised that I have hundreds of tunes in my library about said beverage... any excuse for another occasional series! This one will just be a chat, like we're sitting in a coffee shop together, shooting the breeze, maybe talking about the songs they're playing in the background, maybe ignoring them and talking random shit instead. And for those of you who don't like coffee (like Martin), I'll make sure other popular beverages are available too...

Cat Stevens - Tea For The Tillerman

Is there a better one minute song than that? Seriously, if there is, I want to know about it. I mean - look at the way it builds! I can think of 8 minute album track epics that don't develop as well as that does... and then it's gone. It's perfect... although I can't help but wonder if it would have been better if it had carried on... or if the effect would have been lost with the addition of another three verses.

Hefner - The Hymn For Coffee

Louise left her scarf at the cinema during half term, so Sam and I called back there on Saturday morning to see if they had it.

"Hi," I asked the happy chappy checking e-tickets on mobile phones, "do you have a lost and found?"

"Yeah," said Stephen Patrick Morrissey's slightly less affable younger brother, "but you'll have to wait till I've checked all these people in to their films."

There weren't really any people waiting, just a couple going through the options on the automated booking screen. Eventually they finished buying their tickets and strolled over in a leisurely fashion to be checked in. 

"I suppose you better come with me then," said the gushing usher, leading us through to a dingy corridor and a door with a security code lock on it. When he opened it, we could just about make out a huge pile of coats, bags and other misplaced miscellany dumped on the floor in the corner of what looked like a cleaner's closet. "You can have a look in there, if you want."

"Is there a light?"

"No."

And so we began to rumble through the jumble. Every time we found something that might have been vaguely scarf shaped, we had to hold it out into the corridor where there was just enough light to discern vaguely recognisable details. Eventually we found the right one and went home.

"Thanks so much," I said as we left, "you're a life-saver!"

There was no reply as the gloomy flunkey shuffled back to his post.

Belle & Sebastian - Long Black Scarf

One final thing before I leave you to your day - what the hell have they done with Google Maps? 

They've changed the look so you can now see individual buildings, tiny little house and office shapes rather than just the blocked out areas of grey that used to represent buildings. It's very distracting when you're driving (and I rely on Google Maps far more than I used to, purely because I'm often on a tight schedule to get to and from work after dropping Sam off or picking him up from wraparound club). 

REM - Maps & Legends

Now I find my attention drawn not to the blue line representing my route, but to all the little shapes - is that really the shape of that house I'm driving past? Is their garden really so big? Is there a block to represent their garden shed? Does the new housing estate they're building show up, or is it still a field? If I have a crash sometime in the next few weeks, I'm telling my insurance company to call Google for compensation. 

The Front Bottoms - Maps

It makes me wonder about the future too... how much more detail can they add to these apps? Will we soon have live satellite surveillance zapped into our phones? Will we be able to see people walking down the streets, stray dogs cocking a leg at tiny lamp posts, our own car pootling down the road, as seen from above? How much of it do we actually really need? I'm not so much of a luddite that I can't admit to finding Google Maps more useful than my trusty yet tattered old Road Atlas... but where does it all end?



Friday, 1 July 2022

Celebrity Jukebox #4: Lee Remick

 

When I started this series, Lee Remick was the obvious contender.

What do I know about Lee Remick?

Lee Remick's eyes sparkled that brilliant blue...

Her hair was just long enough so it bounced upon her shoulders...

And that's the less obvious stuff...


What do I really know about Lee Remick?

She comes from Ireland
She's very beautiful

And most of all...

She was in The Omen with Gregory Peck
She got killed, what the heck!?


I think it's fair to say that everything I know about Lee Remick, I learned from these two songs. (Oh, and the Wannadies cover version of the Go-Betweens song.) 

I can't find any other songs that mention her name, even in passing. But just one of the above would be a worthy tribute. Together, they cement her status as a legend.


Monday, 13 January 2020

Cover Me Monday #7: The Wu Tang Clan


There was a time I might have claimed to be into The Wu Tang Clan in order to pretend to be down wi' da kidz. Considering that this band came together in the early 90s though... and that's getting on for 30 years ago, in case you need that mortality check... well, I doubt da kidz have a clue who they are anymore.

Today's cover isn't by (or originally by) The Wu Tang Clan though. It's a song called The Wu Tang Clan, originally recorded by The French. I have to admit that I'd never heard of The French before, despite being a fan of Hefner. Apparently The French was a side project back in the early noughties for Hefner's Darren Hayman and John Morrison.

I probably wouldn't even known that this song was a cover... had it not come from something called The Covers EP. The covering band are Allo Darlin', and London-based indie group with an Australian singer who released three pretty cool albums a few years back, and then, I'm guessing, called it a day.


Here's the Casio-flavoured original version of The Wu Tang Clan by The French.

And below, the Allo Darlin' cover, which I find far superior. That said, credit to Darren Hayman for writing this, because lyrically, it's a belter.

She dreams of Staten Island
She never ever dreams of Walthamstow

Her friends are getting married
Getting their haircut like Jill Dando

She hopes that Terry Soanes won't ask her out tonight for the 4th time
She wants to be alone

With the curtains drawn and the stereo on
She swings her hips and dances to the Wu-Tang Clan

And RZA, Ghostface Killah, Inspecta Deck and Golden Arms
Will hold her tight and out of harm in the council flat tonight
And the thought hits her at 105 bpm
That sometimes for a second, she believes that everything will be
Alright



Wednesday, 10 April 2019

My Top Ten Librarian Songs



Ten songs about librarians. Shh!

(The Tori Amos "Greatest Hits" collection pictured above doesn't contain any librarian songs, but did order the songs using the Dewey Decimal System.)


10. The Research - Librarian Girl

Wakefield indie band from the early noughties. No relation to the Michael Jackson song (sic).

We're all looking for a meaning in a meaningless world.

9. Jimmy Buffett - Love In The Library

And I thought Jimmy spent all his time messing about on boats. Turns out he also hangs around in libraries, looking for love...

She gathered her books, walked while she read
Words never spoken but so much was said
You can read all you want into this rendezvous
But it's safer than most things that lovers can do

8. Hefner - The Librarian

He started to woo her in the most peculiar way
The librarian's dress was a fawner shade of grey
The books he was to borrow he would surely never read
They had an intellectual calibre he hoped that she would see

Been there. Didn't get me anywhere.

7. Eels - Baby Loves Me

Record company hates me
The doctor says I'm sick
The bad girls think I'm just too nice
And the nice girls call me "dick"
But baby loves me!

(And the librarian shushes him too. Poor E.)

6. My Morning Jacket - The Librarian

Simple little bookworm, buried underneath
Is the sexiest librarian, 
Take off those glasses and let down your hair for me

Steady on, fellas...

I like this song because it mentions both "the interweb" and "Karen of the Carpenters".

5. Haunted Love - The Librarian

I want to check out your books...

Innuendo never sounded so buttoned-up and proper!

4. The Divine Comedy - My Imaginary Friend

Remember the mobile library? Neil does...

Daddy drives the mobile library.
He works peripatetically.
He doesn't get much time to play with us
So we just read and make up stuff.
And it drives him round the bend,
Me and my imaginary friend.
You can search the whole library for another song that features the word "peripatetically"... good luck in finding one.


More early Go-Betweens - from their first ever single, the b-side to Lee Remick.

I know this girl
This very special girl
And she works in a library, yeah
Standing there behind the counter
Willing to help
With all the problems that I encounter
Helps me find Hemingway
Helps me find Genet
Helps me find Brecht
Helps me find Chandler
Helps me find James Joyce
She always makes the right choice

2. INXS - Heaven Sent

Tuesday she works in the library uptown
Some useful knowledge can always be found
Don't burn the library till you've read all the books
Sometimes in life you get a second look

Not a band that were known for their great literary offerings, but they sure could bang out a tune.

1. Nick Cave - There She Goes, My Beautiful World

Name-dropping the most famous librarian ever and notorious parent-abuser...

While Philip Larkin, he stuck it out 
In a library in Hull


Any librarians filed in your stacks? Dewey decimal placings will be required.

Sunday, 19 August 2018

Saturday Snapshots #46 - The Answers


  
If you're Crazy In Love with Saturday Snapshots, time to see if we can Work It Out together. Check On It below... 

(As part of my Aretha Tribute Weekend... which continues tomorrow... it seemed the right time to include Beyoncé, who surely owes her entire career to Aretha paving the way for her.)

Anyway, a full scale scrum took place yesterday morning just after 8.30 with Charity Chic, Lynchie, C - and even George (welcome back, George) fighting to see who could type their answers fastest. No, sorry, FBCB, there are no marks for neatness in the game... although I'm pretty sure you clinched the victory this week anyway. Alyson deserves credit for working out this week's stinkers - number 9 - a song I doubt anyone remembered (even I'd forgotten it) and number 3 (Martin or The Swede might have got that, but I seriously doubt it's in Alyson's record collection). Well done to you all, and thanks for playing as always...


10. Clashing with the cops... even though one of them was a cop - completely!


Clashing with the cops would be fighting with the law. Clashing because the Clash covered this song.

I'm going to have to stop using the police clue for Bobby after today... but it made more sense here than most times I've used it.

The Bobby Fuller Four - I Fought The Law

9. Donald plants citrus seeds on the White House lawn. What will grow there?


President Trump is a fool. The White House lawn is his garden.

Citrus seeds may grow into a Lemon Tree.

Fool's Garden - Lemon Tree

8. Move the pan so the babies don't get singed.


A Jamaican cooking pot / pan is called a Dutchie. This song was originally about drugs, but when this bunch covered it, they changed the lyrics so that it was about food instead. (Ironically, Dutchie then came to be drugs slang as a result.)

Babies would represent youth. Singed is a bad pun for musical AND burned.

This generation... rules de nation... with version!

Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie

7. Plan a social gathering with this luscious nomad.


The name Wanda actual means "wanderer"!

And then there was Luscious Jackson.

Wanda Jackson - Let's Have A Party

6. Will you go out with me? Yes? What do your friends call you? Like your heavenly body? (Slap!)


Will you go out with me?

Go on then.

Yes?

Yes. I Will Be Your Girlfriend.

What do your friends call you?

They dub me Star.

Like your heavenly body? (Slap!)

Dubstar - I Will Be Your Girlfriend

5. Throw the clairvoyant at that beauty spot.


Chuck the prophet at that freckle.

Chuck Prophet - Freckle Song

4. Char lady required for diminutive queen? You're not wrong!


The Queen is Elizabeth. A diminutive form of that is Betty.

If you're not wrong, you are right.

Char ladies clean up.

Betty Wright - Clean Up Woman

3. Hugh shares a sweet affection for the Go-Betweens' favourite actress.


Hugh Hefner.

The Go-Betweens' favourite actress would be Lee Remick. This is a completely different song though...

Hefner - Lee Remick

2. Why stand on the Big Bad when you could be going on David Copperfield's rug?


Why step on a big bad wolf when you could be riding on a magic carpet? (Originally I wanted to make that Paul Daniels' rug, because that would have been funnier, but I didn't know how well he'd be known internationally.)

Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride

1. Stooping to pick up a Scouse bracelet.


Explains itself, surely?

Martin did a post recently about music videos that stop the music unexpectedly half way through. There's a great example here, courtesy of Mr. Leonard Nimoy...



If I Were A Boy... or even a Naughty Girl... I'd come back here next Saturday for some Déjà Vu. See you then.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Hot 100 Countdown #83



Great 83 songs were thin on the ground, and about the only one I could find in my own record collection was this...

John Mayer - 83

I did quite like that back in 2001 - enough to swipe it from the chuck-out box, anyway - but listening back it all seems very polished and I don't particularly take to Mayer's voice anymore. Plus, Mayer appears to be a bit of a dick, having given some supremely dodgy interviews in his day. And obviously, I will not stand behind any artist who says stupid, inflammatory things in interviews.

The Swede dropped by to offer Magdalena 83 by Alan Vega - which I'm sure is pretty good since I do like a bit of Suicide every now and then... but as I couldn't find it anywhere on t'internet, and it doesn't (yet) feature in my record collection, I had to give it a pass.

Martin suggested Wafia - 83 Days, which to be fair he caveated with "don't like very much" (alongside John Mayer... which made me question the darker crevices of Martin's record collection as much as I sometimes do my own) but then he redeemed himself slightly by offering Major Tom (Coming Home) by German Bowie obsessive Peter Schilling. That doesn't actually mention 83 at all in title or lyrics, but Martin offered the following defence: "(a) it was used as the theme for the excellent Deutschland 83 and (b) is actually quite good", which would generally be enough for me... although I haven't seen the show myself.

The only other song I'm aware of with 83 in the title comes from the soundtrack of Flashdance... but it's hardly What A Feeling!

Irene Cara - Romance '83

All of which led me to search for lyrical references to the number 83, most of which revolved around the year... but rules are meant to be broken in times of desperation. So, here's My Top Ten 83 Songs... leading up to this week's winner:

10. Over The Rhine - Ohio

It was summertime in '83
We were burnin' out at the rubber tree
Wonderin' what in the world
Would make all this worthwhile
And if I knew then I was older then
Would I see regret to the last mile?

9. Ace Frehley & Frehley´s Comet - Rock Soldiers

They don't make 'em this Ace anymore.

It was back in the summer of '83
There's a reason I remember it well
I was slipping and sliding, drinkin' and drivin'
Bringin' me closer to Hell
And the Devil sat in the passenger's side
Of Delorean's automobile
He said, "Hey Frehley, Frehley let's not be silly
There's a life out there to steal!"

8. Hefner - Lee Remick

(Not the Go-Betweens song... in case you were wondering.)

I think it was in '83 my father left the family
But came back three weeks later
For a love both firm and stable

7. Marah - The Catfisherman
I got a couple of rods; they got tape where they broke
I got a bobber, some sinkers and two packs of smokes
I got the sun goin' down and the moon comin' out
And it's 83 degrees and I'm pissin' in the river

6. REM & Patti Smith - E-Bow The Letter

Will you live to 83?
Will you ever welcome me?
Will you show me something that nobody else has seen?

5. Guy Clark - A Nickel For The Fiddler

Well, it's a fiddler from Kentucky
Who swears he's 83
And he's fiddled every contest
From here to Cripple Creek
And it's old ones and it's young ones
And it's plain they half agreed
That it's country music in the park
As far as they can see

4. Dexys Midnight Runners - I Love You (Listen To This)

You were standing next to me,
In '82 and '83,
In all that time I barely proved I love you
Well there's nothing wrong but the wrong in me
You were everything you were meant to be

3. Drive-By Truckers - A World Of Hurt

And my good friend Paul was 83
When he told me that, "To love is to feel pain"
I thought about that a lot back then
I think about that again and again

2. Pulp - Last Days Of The Miner's Strike

Well my body sank below the ground
It became as black as night,
Overhead the sounds of horses hooves,
People fighting for their lives.
Some joker in a headband was still
Getting chicks for free.
And Big Brother was still watching you
Back in the days of '83.

1. Amy Rigby - The Summer of My Wasted Youth

Summertime in '83
I didn't need a j-o-b
Cause unemployment kept me free
To study country harmony
And find somebody with a car
Drink cheap beer in the Polish bar
Take photos in the photo booth
The summer of my wasted youth



So, lyrics will be allowed for 82... as will years. Unless you have an amazing title suggestion. These are the toughest numbers. They will get easier.


Tuesday, 14 November 2017

My Top Ten Kitten Songs


This is Millie, the new addition to our family. Too soon? I did think so... but I've been proved wrong. A welcome blast of sunshine and fun in these darkest of times...

The big problem with songs about kittens is that they're rarely actually about kittens. Kitten, is seems, is a popular metaphorical term of endearment, and just about the only song on this list which appears to be about an actual kitten is about a dead one. So I'm not dedicating any of these to Millie. Ten great songs, nevertheless...


10. Bellowhead - Moon Kittens

Bellowhead go John Williams. Better than that might sound.

9. Whitesnake - Kitten's Got Claws

The thing about Whitesnake was, around about the time this came out, they were showing their kitten side more than their claws. Power ballads had taken them into the charts and their metal beginnings were all but forgotten. This was them showing they still had their claws. You won't like it, it ain't cool, but it did the job for teenage rock fans back in the mid 80s.

Can you believe this is the first time Whitesnake have featured on this blog? I can't.

8. The Kelley Deal 6000 - When He Calls Me Kitten

What Kelley did when she got out of rehab.

7. Lily Rae & The Saturday Girls - Little Kittens

Dark and creepy - Nick Cave would be proud. From Lily's debut record, available on The Indelicates' Corporate Records label. Since then she's gone on to form the band Fightmilk: also worthy of your attention.

Don't forget that little kittens have the sharpest claws!

6. Hefner - Hello Kitten

Another song about...
I'm gonna make myself go blind tonight
...well, not kittens.

5. British Sea Power - Electrical Kittens

I've featured this here before, but no reason not to do so again. My favourite song from the latest BSP album.

4. REM - Star Me, Kitten

I guess that should be **** Me, Kitten... or @%$# Me, Kitten. It's one of those songs that sounds beautiful, but if you study the lyrics you'll choke on the metaphors. Of course, you could also scare yourself half to death with the REM & William S. Burroughs version...

3. Riff Raff - Kitten

Billy Bragg and Wiggy, back when they were still in short pants.

2. Angelica - Why Did You Let My Kitten Die?

Forgotten noughties indie from half of The Lovely Eggs. Indie-girly-pop loveliness with a sting in the tail.

1. Little Willie John - Leave My Kitten Alone

"Laying in the back seat, listening to Little Willie John..."

Yes, it was Elvis Costello who introduced this song to me... but it was Robbie Robertson who introduced me to Little Willie. And the original has added meows!



Any cuddly kitten songs in your collection?

Friday, 15 January 2016

My Top Ten Hymns




This week, I give thanks for ten fine examples of pop praise.

Specials mentions to Hymns and The Verve's classic album Urban Hymns.


10. The Charlatans - I'll Sing A Hymn (You Came To Me)

I came across a good haul of Charlatans CDs in a local charity shop recently and was able to stock up my collection beyond the obvious titles. This is from their 2004 album Up At The Lake, apparently the only Charlies album never to receive an American release (not sure why, but whenever they do release records in the US they have to stick a UK on the end of their name because of an obscure American band from the 60s). Iffypedia tells me this particular song was only available on the UK release of the album - again, not sure why, it's a perfectly decent laid-back, Stonesy groove.

9. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Cannibal's Hymn
But if you're gonna dine with them cannibals
Sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten
The above might seem like a statement of the bleeding obvious, but Nick still makes it sound bad-ass. 

8. Don Henley - She Sang Hymns Out Of Tune

I originally came across this song on Harry Nilsson's album Pandemonium Shadow Show but I hadn't listened to that in years, so it took me a while when I heard Don Henley's version (on last year's Cass County) to work out where I knew it from. It was originally written by Jesse Lee Kincaid, a member of 60s folk-rock band Rising Sons along with Ry Cooder and Taj Mahal.

I've listened to the lyrics of this song a lot trying to work out what they're all about... there's a spooky, otherworldly quality to them. The People Who Are strike me as the sort you don't want to mess with.

7. The Decemberists - January Hymn / June Hymn

Two contrasting hymns from The King Is Dead album (Colin Meloy was always a huge Smiths fan). The first is an ode to shovelling snow, the second a celebration of pegging out your washing. Ironically, it's the latter which appears to steal its chords from Simon & Garfunkel's I Am A Rock (y'know, the one that begins 'A winter's day, In a deep and dark December...')

6. Roddy Frame - Hymn To Grace

Aztec Camera were a brilliant band, but I sometimes feel Roddy Frame has done better work since he packed in his famous job and turned solo. In the one-man-and-a-guitar stakes, he takes some beating.

5. The Magic Numbers - Hymn To Her

Kill all hippies.

No, I like The Magic Numbers. This is from their first album, when they showed the most promise. You have to wonder if, in our looks-obsessed culture, lead singer Romeo Stoddard's Steven Toast meets Giant Haystacks image prevented the band from getting on any magazine covers. Shame...

Of course, this wasn't the most famous song with that awful pun-title. I'm presuming Romeo stole it from the band at #3.

4. Hefner - The Hymn For Cigarettes

Hefner have written more hymns than Charles Wesley or Isaac Watts (look: if I can google them, you can). See also The Hymn For Alcohol, The Hymn For Coffee, The Hymn For The Things We Didn't Do, etc. etc. This one's my favourite. Although I've never been a smoker, I like the way Darren Hayman pays tribute to all his favourite cigarette brands, but mostly I like it because it contains one of the greastest questions in the history of pop...
How can she love me 
If she doesn't even love 
The cinema that I love?
3. The Pretenders - Hymn To Her

Written by Chrissie's old school pal, Meg Keene, this is as close as The Pretenders ever got to becoming Fleetwood Mac. Apparently there are pagan themes to the lyrics, which would have fit the White Witch, Stevie Nicks, very well. Chrissie even sounds like Stevie on this.

Before she became famous, Chrissie Hynde worked for the NME. Among others, she interviewed Brian Eno, Tim Buckley and David Cassidy. Not Nicks though... I wonder if she was a Mac fan?

2. James - Hymn From A Village

From their second EP, released in 1985 (their first record was out in '83!). It's still a pretty powerful mission statement from a band just starting out...
This song's made up, made second rate
Cosmetic music, powderpuff
Pop tunes, false rhymes, all lightweight bluffs
Second-hand ideas, no soul, no hate
Wasn't mean to be
Built on complacency
The nightmares ride away
When you refuse to play
Oh go and read a book
It's so much more worth while
Being a song-smith crook
Study death in style
Death in style
And thirty years later, they're still at it. Their 14th album, Girl At The End of the World, will be out in March.

1. Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

I bang on a lot on this site about how much I love storytelling songs and how important lyrics are to me, but I have to confess I've never really paid much attention to the lyrics of White Winter Hymnal. I know it's about something, and there's some wonderful imagery, but the effect the song has on me is purely down to the sound: the harmonies and the canon effect work together to make this a mesmerising piece of music. When something sounds this good, I don't need to know what it's all about.

As we move house next week, I'd be thankful if the white winter can stay away this year, please.




Which is your Lord of the Dance?

Friday, 19 July 2013

My Top Ten Greed Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #3)


Back to the 7 deadly sings... with ten songs about greed (as opposed to stuffing your face gluttony).



10. Seth Lakeman - Greed & Gold
Forever the loneliest road.
9. Cracker - I Want Everything

First of a number of songs on this chart by artists who won't be happy till they've got it all. Greedy buggers.

8. Dan Fogelberg and Tim Weisberg - The Power of Gold
Are you under the power of gold? 
The late Dan Fogelberg. Top man.

7. Hefner - The Greedy Ugly People
The Greedy Ugly People are not like us,
They don't feel the love that she and I would die without.
A sweet love story about how the rest of the world are a bunch of greedy, ugly bastards...
Love don't stop no wars, don't stop no cancer,
It stops my heart.
6. The Flying Lizards - Money (That's What I Want)

There are, of course, thousands of pop songs about love of money. They deserve, at least, a Top Ten of their own. There are also about a hundred different versions of this song, originally written and recorded by the mighty Barrett Strong back in 1959. But I love this version more than any other because it's truly unique... and because the video is like 1979 in a bottle.

5. Aztec Camera - All I Need Is Everything

Poor old Roddy, he didn't quite get it all. Although going from the video, he must have been about 12 when he recorded this, so he did pretty well for such a young 'un.

4. Go-Kart Mozart - We're Selfish & Lazy & Greedy

Three sins in one! Go, Lawrence!
People like me, oh we don't give a damn
We like staying bed if we can...
3. Rufus Wainwright - Give Me What I Want and Give It to Me Now!
Give me what I want 
And give it to me now!
Don't be such a greedy sow...
...Rufus threatens, before going on to reveal his own greed...
I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
With a biblical kiss,
I will eat you, your folks
And your kids for breakfast!
And then he gets really bitchy:
I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
That I would never wish
Death upon you, your cats
And your throw cushions on Christmas!
2. Queen - I Want It All

Thus did Freddie live his life...

1. The Wonder Stuff - Give, Give, Give Me More, More, More

It's about time The Wonder Stuff had a Number One round here, considering how much I loved them. 
Well,  hope I make more money than this in the next world...
Damn right!




I know, you want them all, don't you?
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