Showing posts with label Kitchens of Distinction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kitchens of Distinction. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 March 2025

Sequel Songs #8: Major Tom


I have a list of Sequel Songs that I'm working my way through, but because time is limited at the moment, I've been trying to pick ones I think I can write about quickly. The problem is, when I start, I often fall down a rabbit hole...

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do


Theoretically, today's post was going to involve just three songs. The first, obviously, was David Bowie's first UK Chart hit, a song which was rush-released in July 1969 to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landing (the BBC even used it to soundtrack their coverage). It was inspired by Kubrick's 2001, reflecting how alienated Bowie himself felt at this point in his career (having been knocking on the door of the charts for some time, with nobody letting him in), and musical inspiration came from the kind of thing the Bee Gees were doing at that point in their career. If you're surprised by that, I'd point you towards one of my favourite Bee Gees tunes, also from 1969, and I can kind of hear where Bowie might have been coming from...


Although Space Oddity did make the Top Ten, it would be another three years before Bowie returned to the charts, ironically with a song that's another thematic continuation, although by this point he clearly feels more like an alien than an astronaut.


After that, Bowie was here to stay. Maybe it took that long for the world to be ready for him. It wouldn't be any kind of stretch to call him "ahead of his time". Space Oddity was re-issued in 1975, when it became his first chart-topper. His second chart-topper came five years later... and it was the official sequel to Space Oddity.

Do you remember a guy that's been
In such an early song?
I've heard a rumour from Ground Control
Oh no, don't say it's true


By this time, Major Tom was floating in a very different kind of space, having succumbed to drug addiction... the autobiographical elements still clearly present.

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom's a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low

Now, I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator. Many of you will know that others took up the story, most notably German singer Peter Schilling, whose 1982 single Major Tom (Völlig Losgelöst) reached Number One in both Germany and Austria in 1983... and though the English language version didn't make the UK charts, it did get to #14 in the US.


Schilling's song does appear to offer a little hope of a happy ending for the good Major...

Across the stratosphere, a final message
"Give my wife my love," then nothing more
Far beneath the ship the world is mourning
They don't realize he's alive
No one understands, but Major Tom sees
"Now the light commands, this is my home
I'm coming home"

Iffypedia suggests other artists sought to continue the narrative, though Empty Glass by Canadian band The Tea Party feels more like a Bowie tribute song...

Where do we belong?
Could you help us, Major Tom
'Cause nothing's making sense
I listen and lament

A star man will come
When diamond dogs run
We need ground control
We're losing our souls


And if we include that, we should also offer space to the Conchords...


Another Canadian, K.I.A. offers a different perspective on Major Tom's story, from his earthbound wife...


A version of that song, sung by Sheryl Crow, appeared on William Shatner's fourth album, thematically based on Bowie's character, entitled Seeking Major Tom. The album also included Shatner's own version of the Peter Schilling song...


And here's a direct retelling (but not a cover version) of the original tale by LA rock band Shiny Toy Guns...


And a different take, in French, from Plastic Bertrand...


Meanwhile, Major Tom crops up in all kinds of other bizarre places, including...







I think it's fair to say Major Tom has really made the grade. No wonder the papers want to know whose shirts he wears.

However, you may have wondered about my earlier comment, "I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator." Did David Bowie have anything else to say about his greatest creation. Well... yes, it seems he did. Many believe that his 1996 collaboration with the Pet Shop Boys contains an update on the Major Tom story...


But I'm told that Major Tom's final appearance comes in the the video to the title track of the final Bowie album, Blackstar. Many people (including the director) believe that the dead astronaut seen at the start of the video is Major Tom at the end of his journey...



Sunday, 9 January 2022

Snapshots #222: A Top Ten London Underground Songs


I'm sure you left no Stone unturned in solving this week's quiz, so I'm going to award you all an Easy A. Next stop: the answers...


10. Achieved a first class grade in culinary school.


Kitchens of Distinction - On Tooting Broadway Station

9. Often seen on the corner of Sinatra Street.

Frank, turning the corner...

Frank Turner - The Angel Islington

8. Titanic confrontation.

Clash of the Titans!

Take your pick between...

White Man - (White Man) in Hammersmith Palais

Or...

The Clash - Guns Of Brixton

7. Political dove opponent resembles a slice of pig.

Hawks oppose doves. Ham-ish.

Hamish Hawk - Bakerloo, Unbecoming

I listened to that track on repeat for the entire (1 hour plus) journey home earlier this week. 

And it sounds strange
Coming from
The oldest flame at evensong
I'm no righteous type
Don't get me wrong
But how do you get off
If you never got on?

6. Sounds like something you might find in the trial of the Moors Murderers.

That would be an Ian (Brady) Jury.

Ian Dury - Plaistow Patricia

5. It's fear that makes them jingle.


The Trembling Bells - Marble Arch

4. Remember the REM LP Up? These guys have mixed feelings about it.

LP Up? Anagram!

Pulp - Mile End

3. Canadian Kathleen knew more than one, Johnny and Bobby.

Kathleen Edwards + Johnny & Bobby Ball.

The photo above is Edward Ball when he was a member of the Television Personalities. This is what he sounded like as a solo artist in the mid-90s...

Apparently Mill Hill is London Underground's least used station. And it's not even under ground! No wonder it hates itself.


Edward Ball - The Mill Hill Self Hate Club

2. Grey fart fryer.


Anagram! (No disrespect meant to the late Mr. Rafferty. Or Bob Holness.)

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

1.  First sign of male pattern baldness.

Apparently one of the first signs of male pattern baldness is kinks in the hair.

There was almost a very big clue in the photo, which I had to edit out before posting this yesterday. (Check the drumkit.)

Abba featured last week, so it was Ray had to take the top spot. (Also, this song is actually about the station, rather than the place where Napoleon fell.)

The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset

I won't be Cruella... Snapshots will be back next Saturday.

Thursday, 1 October 2020

Stressed Post Thursday

 


When you don't have a Guest Post, go with a Stressed Post.

Here's Steve Mason, getting rather stressed when his musical heroes like John Lydon and Iggy Pop take the advertising dollar...

Johnny and The Idiot pissing on a dream

And obviously, I hate it when my favourite songs end up in TV commercials too. 

Then again, I used to work in advertising, and from time to time I would have to call up agents and publishers and try to get the rights to famous songs to use in radio ads. My biggest success was getting There's Nothing Like This by Omar into a campaign for a Kitchens & Bathrooms company. (Never managed to sell them a track by Kitchens of Distinction.) If I remember rightly, it was Omar's brother-in-law who was his agent, and Omar was more than happy to take the cash. 

I lost count of the number of idiots who asked me to get Simply The Best by Tina Turner for their fireplace showroom, used Honda dealership or honey glazed donut shop... even after Ricky Gervais took the piss out of that notion in The Office.

On the office wall where I used to work, I pinned a famous Bill Hicks quote, to remind me every day just what I was doing with my life...

But do you know what? I'd go back to that job in a heartbeat if it was still there. I didn't know how good I had it.

Am I stressed right now?

Here's Steve Mason...


Sunday, 12 August 2018

Saturday Snapshots #45 - The Answers


I hope you had the time of your life playing Saturday Snapshots yesterday. And that none of you ended up a Basket Case...

A Saturday night powercut means I'm setting this to post via my phone so can't add my usual commentary congratulating the winners. Just hoping this will still post on Sunday morning as planned. I'll try to add comments later on Sunday but thanks for playing as always.

10. Je t'aime a tiny city full of serial killers.


Je t'aime is French for 'I love you'.

A tiny city full of serial killers would be a mini Ripper-town.

Minnie Riperton - Loving You

9. High ranking (southern) British martial artist and fishy western director request the pleasure of your company this evening.


The ranking system in many forms of martial arts is the Dan. Southern Britain would be England.

John Ford was a great director of Westerns. Coley is a fish.

Phew. Convoluted way to get to an undisputed easy listening classic.

England Dan & John Ford Coley - I'd Really Love To See You Tonight

8. My girl in Portugal is a honey.


"My girl" translated into Portuguese is "a minha menina".

Honey comes from bees.

The Bees - A Minha Menina

7. After a couple of weeks sightseeing, kick off your shoes and hit the sofa.


Explains itself.

The Tourists - So Good To Be Back Home Again

6. Half a gross of Cale hunting a red mermaid.


Half a gross is 72.

J.J. Cale.

The Hunt For Red October.

Mermaids swim.

JJ72 - October Swimmer

5. Bet you felt a proper one before that fall. Smooch one of your crimefighting ladies to help you feel better.


Pride goes before a fall.

If you're embarrassed, you might feel a proper Charley.

Charlie's Angels were crimefighters.

Charley Pride - Kiss An Angel Good Morning

4. Heroic cop loses his G-string across the channel.


Heroic is daring, minus a g = Darin. A cop is a Bobby.

Across the Channel is...

Bobby Darin - Beyond The Sea

3. Win a designer scullery!


A designer scullery would be a kitchen of distinction.

You win prizes.

Kitchens of Distinction - Prize

2. Take pride in your centrefolds with pierced bellybuttons.


Taking pride in yourself is self respect.

Centrefolds are often pierced through their bellybuttons by staples.

The Staple Singers - Respect Yourself

1. Part time docker and grainmaker has a laugh.


A docker is a stevedore. Part time would make him merely Steve.

A grainmaker would be a Miller.

Laughing is for Jokers.


Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. American Idiots and Geek Stink Breaths need not apply.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

My Top Ten Lauren Bacall Songs



"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow"

Quite a few of the songs featured in My Top Ten Humphrey Bogart Songs also made mention of his fourth wife and the greatest love of his life, Lauren Bacall. So you might think I'd struggle to put together a Lauren Bacall Top Ten without some crossover. Au contraire...


10. Kevin Roth - Just Like Lauren Bacall
She knew 
Just what to do
When the boys came...
I will hold my hand up and say that I'd never heard of Kevin Roth until very recently. Iffypedia doesn't tell me much about him either, other than he's "is an American folk singer and Appalachian dulcimer player who has released forty-five albums".

FORTY-FIVE ALBUMS? Dude needs a bigger iffypedia page.

9. ABC - Love Conquers All

 Another of Sheffield's greatest pop bands...
When Bogart saw Bacall
He knew that love conquers all
8. Alabama 3 - Wade Into The Water

Time for your baptism... Alabama-style.
I got as drunk as Bogart, you were just smokin' like Bacall
7. Kitchens of Distinction - When In Heaven
Imagine what could happen after this drink: I'm wearing wings
Join Lauren Bacall, float up to heaven's gate
Wearing danger smiles. She'll meet with the stars
They'll break down doors
Those shining pearls float off in space
I'm raving beautifully
Well, you're definitely raving, Patrick.

6. Pavlov's Dog - Mersey

Smoothy 70's AOR. You can't beat it.
And all the other times
That I wished that you were here
And everything went crazy
When my head filled up with beer
I played that I was Bogart
And that you were my Bacall
And everything just shattered by curtain call
5. The Clash - Car Jamming

Meanwhile, Joe is certain he saw Lauren Bacall in a traffic jam. There are worse people to get stuck behind.

4. Thea Gilmore - Movie Kisses

Poor old Thea, such a cynic...
Here it is
The not-so-happy-ending
We've done
Our picket fence defending
We did Bogart and Bacall and now the spotlight's gone and anyway
All those movie kisses just last too long
3. The Wedding Present - You Jane

I doubt this will be the last time we'll hear from David Gedge in this particular series...
There’s really no need to explain
He’s Tarzan and you’re Jane
He’s Bogart, you’re Bacall
I’m sure he has it all
2. The Amazing Rhythm Aces - Hit The Nail On The Head

Another forgetten gem from the greatest decade.
I can tell you're from down south
The way you say ya'll
You look at me over your shoulder
Just like Lauren Bacall
1. Jesse Malin - Wendy

One of Jesse's very best. (And he'll be back again tomorrow with another one.)

Wendy took me with a smile
Country lips and Bacall style
Through Tangiers or to Bombay
Her self-portrait in the USA



    Which one makes you want to whistle?


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