TO ME!!!
and HAPPY NEW YEAR, SUGARPLUMS! xoxoxoxoxox
Friday, December 30, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
the fairytale of new york
Hat tip to our pal, macy for reminding me of the best christmas song this little pagan baby ever heard!
cheers, sugarplums!!
cheers, sugarplums!!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
The Eulogy by the MITM for his Mother, read by his Brother on that rainy day in Los Angeles
Henry David Thoreau wrote “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Sadly, for many, this remains true and desperation keeps them from fully experiencing life. This was never the case with Carmel. The 7th ward could not contain her young spirit. She had an infectious personality that whirled around South Central Los Angeles like a gossamer dervish. She howled down Wilshire Boulevard and laughed at any hint of restrictions. She elegantly whispered through the Spanish moss of stately Savannah oaks. She was always, and at all times of her life, a woman of substance and someone to be reckoned with.
She could simultaneously madden and entertain us with her impishness and vanity. According to Carmel, Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth, Dorothy Danridge, and even Lena Horne, copied her style. She could humble us with her deep understanding of all that is beautiful in this life. She was a lover. She was loved. She had the warmth of family and lifelong friends. She was blessed and privileged in much of her life, and struggled without a husband to maintain a blessed life for her family. Exceptional is a word that comes to mind when I try to define her life.
Her affable spirit fought to stay ahead of the game as the ravishes of dementia and Alzheimer’s took her slowly from us. She would sometimes recite her favorite poem, a poem she told me she committed to memory while in high school. It is by William Ernest Henley. I think it bears reading because it is so much of what became Carmel’s raison d’être:
INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Out of the clear blue she would spout out the numbers of my father’s WWII dog tag, each digit absolutely correct. I thought it was because she had written so many letters to him when he was posted in Korea that it was burned in her memory. I asked her, “Mom, why are you remembering Dad’s ID tag number?” She looked at me with clarity, as if the dementia had left the room, and said, “Because he consumed me.” I knew I was witness to a love that was continuing and everlasting.
Many of you in this room visited Carmel over the last few years during this insidious illness. She would say to me, “Pull up a chair for so and so”, or “don’t you hear what so and so is saying?” She would laugh out loud. “Mom? What ya laughing at?” “So and so just told me the funniest joke.” Her memories of all of you did more to ease her pain than all the pharmaceutical cocktails fed into her veins.
As she lay in the hospice, watching the inevitable sunset of her life, she asked me for three things:
1. To listen to the music of Duke Ellington (Come Sunday was her favorite) and Mozart. We did and it was beautiful and serene.
2. To make her laugh. Well, that was never hard for me to do.
3. And finally, to bring her a, “very cold” mind you, Stella Artois beer. She even sat up a bit to drink it.
I can say about her something that is not oft said in our day and age – What a Woman!
I can tell you this – she loved us all deeply.
Je ne t’oublierai jamais. Je t’aimerai toujours.
I will never forget you. I will always love you.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
wednesday
the goal was to get back to blogging on a regular basis.
didn't happen.
i'm going to keep trying, but maybe, just maybe, i should try and respond to the comments y'all have left. *sigh*
the pressure is getting to me!!!
I'm kidding.
about the pressure, i mean.
didn't happen.
i'm going to keep trying, but maybe, just maybe, i should try and respond to the comments y'all have left. *sigh*
the pressure is getting to me!!!
I'm kidding.
about the pressure, i mean.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
sunday night
because, yes, my darlings, i'm blue. the MITM is back in deepestdarekestafrica. netflix streaming has become my very best friend for comedies. but have no fear, tomorrow, i hit the track and get moving again!
i'll be posting and commenting again!
thanks for continuing to drop by and for emailing!!
xoxoxoxox
Friday, November 11, 2011
today is #1's birthday!
yep, it's Captain Chaos's birthday!!! yep, our sweet angel baby is FORTY! i usually don't list the coconut krewe's ages, but 40 is a big deal! especially when,
of course, it really is relative because,
but today, i'm also,
so i did this birthday blog post because,
and finally, instead of maz jobrani and HIS birthday video (oh yeah, check him out), i thought why not this for the birthday boy...
happy birthday, #1!
of course, it really is relative because,
but today, i'm also,
so i did this birthday blog post because,
and finally, instead of maz jobrani and HIS birthday video (oh yeah, check him out), i thought why not this for the birthday boy...
happy birthday, #1!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
some wedding pictures for everyone NOT on the facebook ;)
| dinner the night before the MAIN EVENT |
| waiting for the event |
| star trek and high heels cupcake wedding cake |
| Big J's house or this is where the wedding happened! |
| super nana & the MITM |
| mr matrix & super nana say I do! |
PROOF
For supernana & mr matrix*
That one plus one equals two
is a cold equation; provable,
as we discovered, yet not true.
What follows (logically),
is the lonely pursuit of elegant theories
and severe emotional experiments
of questionable methodology
and heartbreakingly reproducible results
Until late one night we stumble
upon a new geometry
based on complementary angles of attraction -
joyously obtuse and acutely alive! -
wherein:
proof is redundant,
reason rejected,
and an older alchemy embraced
and everything, quite simply,
equals you and me as one.
by mr moose*
now, of course you know there will be more photos!
*yes, it's true, this is what we call them for reals!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
hat tip to the Jules
mr matrix LOVED the idea of a Tron disc toss!
there will be more wedding photos later...
there will be more wedding photos later...
Saturday, October 29, 2011
October 29, 2011
You are cordially invited
to
THE BEST WEDDING IN TOWN!
be there or be square, darlings!
11:30 PDT
xoxoxoxo
mr. matrix & supernana
Big J
the MITM & savannah
Friday, October 28, 2011
guess what we're doing...
| super nana & moxie (OMG! moxie is soooo cute!) |
| the not run away bride |
| mr matrix & gumby on the town |
| cali kids |
Sunday, October 23, 2011
guess who's a birthday girl today...
| OMG! that would be ME, the one and only super nana! |
yes, today our sweet angel and only baby girl was born! there was no early morning wakeup call today because i don't do that anymore. i don't have to, all the coconut krewe wakes up in anticipation! ok, maybe it's just an inside joke, but hey, they surprised me once...
UPDATE!
from supernana:
I am so thrilled by your birthday wishes. I had an amazing day and I am looking forward to WEDDING WEEK.
xoxo, Supernana
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
where i've been...
...has not been a good place, my darlings.
yesterday, it started with me yelling at the tv news anchor to SHUT UP! and degenerated from there to me just barely being civil to anyone. i have absolutely no patience or tolerance right now. maybe, it started with the saints losing and football sunday turning into a mass of bad behavior by too many coaches and a few players across the league. who knows? i don't.
delayed reaction to stress?
not enough ruffage in my diet?
not enough sleep?
i don't know. i'm leaving too many things undone lately.
too much pressure?
laziness?
again, i don't know.
all i know is that 30 minutes ago, the MITM told me that if i was going to start the day off yelling at the news on my MAC, then maybe i needed to walk away from technology today or just watch home improvement shows...
i mean, really? who in their right mind argues with mike holmes on hgtv?
yesterday, it started with me yelling at the tv news anchor to SHUT UP! and degenerated from there to me just barely being civil to anyone. i have absolutely no patience or tolerance right now. maybe, it started with the saints losing and football sunday turning into a mass of bad behavior by too many coaches and a few players across the league. who knows? i don't.
delayed reaction to stress?
not enough ruffage in my diet?
not enough sleep?
i don't know. i'm leaving too many things undone lately.
too much pressure?
laziness?
again, i don't know.
all i know is that 30 minutes ago, the MITM told me that if i was going to start the day off yelling at the news on my MAC, then maybe i needed to walk away from technology today or just watch home improvement shows...
i mean, really? who in their right mind argues with mike holmes on hgtv?
Saturday, October 8, 2011
isn't this the BEST invite evah?
ok, so the text isn't on the cake, but it said
mr matrix and super nana are getting hitched on october 29th!
he designed the invite and used a font that looked like cake decoration piping!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and here's another pic of moxie
| moxie and the velvet sleeping bag |
UPDATE:
YEAH for mr matrix! he sent a copy with text just for all y'all! ;) xox
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
moxie madness or really, what is she doing?
| what happens when mr matrix takes moxie to visit Big J |
| when moxie met missoni |
Thursday, September 29, 2011
good day, sunshine!
some GOOD news! captain chaos and Stretch had some pictures taken the other day! february is only 5 months away! and yes, the MITM and i have started scoping out the infant toy section in everystorewesee!!!! so, the new baby will be a mini-me cap'n chaos or a mini-me Stretch....nobody's sayin!
Friday, September 23, 2011
laissez les bons temp rouler! let the good times roll
just received a condolence call from a former neighbor of carmel/miss daisy. now, this woman was half miss daisy's age when they were neighbors. in fact, i'm almost certain she's just a bit older than MY oldest child, but i digress... the lovely thing that she remembered most about being her neighbor was miss daisy coming home at 2am on a sunday morning from adaigo jazz club and wondering,"what the hell is wrong with MY life, that my 80something year old neighbor is out partying and i'm at home?" all the MITM could say was thank you for making me smile! these are the stories that are sustaining him. all the fun and lovely memories people are sharing of good times with his momma.
and then, there's all of you.
your kind words, the music, the emails have been shared. you are all part of our life and all part of the memories we have of miss daisy in blogville. yes, my darlings, she knew all about all of you and loved all the funny things you said. she always asked if i was going to tell my friends about the parties or what was going on here on the plantation.
so promise us one thing, raise a glass this weekend in her honor and we'll raise one with you and to you all!
i'll be back sooner or later. xoxoxoxox
and then, there's all of you.
your kind words, the music, the emails have been shared. you are all part of our life and all part of the memories we have of miss daisy in blogville. yes, my darlings, she knew all about all of you and loved all the funny things you said. she always asked if i was going to tell my friends about the parties or what was going on here on the plantation.
so promise us one thing, raise a glass this weekend in her honor and we'll raise one with you and to you all!
i'll be back sooner or later. xoxoxoxox
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Miss Daisy has gone home.
Carmel C. Hewlett
June 11, 1922 - September 17, 2011
May She Rest in Peace and Perpetual Light Shine Upon Her.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
today i saw miss daisy
miss daisy is in hospice care now.
the MITM, his brother and sister agreed with the doctors that this was the best move possible for her. she is unplugged and unpoked and un-prodded and now actively dying.. as she said while i was there, is the end near?
i did make her laugh again which is all i needed.
one other thing happened that made me know she knew exactly who i was...she told me she remembered my family. when we would go to the brain doctor we'd practice memory games...she'd name my coconut krewe and who they were married or engaged to. and then the puppies, ghostface killah and moxie. then she'd name her other grandchildren.
she married her first sweetheart and so did i.
she was 19 when she married and so was i.
she had 4 children and so did i.
she was an only child and so am i.
i could make her laugh and i did again tonight.
the MITM, his brother and sister agreed with the doctors that this was the best move possible for her. she is unplugged and unpoked and un-prodded and now actively dying.. as she said while i was there, is the end near?
i did make her laugh again which is all i needed.
one other thing happened that made me know she knew exactly who i was...she told me she remembered my family. when we would go to the brain doctor we'd practice memory games...she'd name my coconut krewe and who they were married or engaged to. and then the puppies, ghostface killah and moxie. then she'd name her other grandchildren.
she married her first sweetheart and so did i.
she was 19 when she married and so was i.
she had 4 children and so did i.
she was an only child and so am i.
i could make her laugh and i did again tonight.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
this is where we are today...
mr. moose summed it up perfectly with this post, so i hope you'll read it.
miss daisy is back in hospital and as she said to the MITM, in a moment of clarity late last night, "this might be the beginning of the end because it has to start somewhere."
it is what it is.
miss daisy is back in hospital and as she said to the MITM, in a moment of clarity late last night, "this might be the beginning of the end because it has to start somewhere."
it is what it is.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
sometimes you have to know when to fold them or love is saying you're sorry when you've been an ass
From: someone you all know (yeah, that would be me)
Date: September 1, 2011 9:57:17 AM EDT
To: someone else you all know (of course, it's him aka the MITM)
i'm sorry i'm so grumpy. but on the other hand, i've never really been a morning person. xoxo/me
and then a fun message from captain chaos
| Good Morning from New Mexico |
Friday, August 26, 2011
these are not the droids you're looking for...
hurricane irene is going to by-pass the plantation. thank you for your concern. we're hoping all our pals along the coast from north carolina up to maine will be safe and out of harm's way!
xoxoxo from savannah & the MITM
0910 update:
wind starting to pickup with short bursts of rain as if it you're watching a garden hose swirling unattended.
0930 update:
blue skies as if it never happened.
0931 totally unrelated update:
hat tip to debra
xoxoxo from savannah & the MITM
0910 update:
wind starting to pickup with short bursts of rain as if it you're watching a garden hose swirling unattended.
0930 update:
blue skies as if it never happened.
0931 totally unrelated update:
hat tip to debra
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
american politics or what do you know about...
read captain chaos today.
i take nothing for granted anymore.
or maybe,
i never did,
but the bottomline is,
i was born in california,
i live in georgia and
i'm not leaving the good ole u.s. of a.
no matter who runs
and wins
in november 2012.
run all your background checks,
take all your pictures,
swab all your gsr on my hands,
and what the hell, tap my damn phones,
but i ain't leaving!
BECAUSE
i believe in the concept that is America.
i believe that ignorance can be overcome.
i believe that our imperfections will save us from ourselves because we want to be better.
or maybe,
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
i take nothing for granted anymore.
or maybe,
i never did,
but the bottomline is,
i was born in california,
i live in georgia and
i'm not leaving the good ole u.s. of a.
no matter who runs
and wins
in november 2012.
run all your background checks,
take all your pictures,
swab all your gsr on my hands,
and what the hell, tap my damn phones,
but i ain't leaving!
BECAUSE
i believe in the concept that is America.
i believe that ignorance can be overcome.
i believe that our imperfections will save us from ourselves because we want to be better.
or maybe,
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
did i tell you about my shoes?
no, i'm kidding.
old joke.
there's just no easy way to say things aren't good. miss daisy is still in the hospital. the news isn't positive, but there it is. the thought was, until early today, she would be released to a nursing home, but is no longer being contemplated. at least, not this weekend. so, as sister hope's daddy used to say, pray if you do and if you don't, whistle.
super nana will be here tomorrow for a couple of days. she was in nashville for a conference and as she said, too close not to come and visit. mr. moose is also planning a trip home as soon as he can get away. the coconut krewe keeps in close contact, so a visit is, as we call it around here, extras!
thanks for stopping by and thank you for keeping in touch.
you have my heart.
xoxoxxo
old joke.
there's just no easy way to say things aren't good. miss daisy is still in the hospital. the news isn't positive, but there it is. the thought was, until early today, she would be released to a nursing home, but is no longer being contemplated. at least, not this weekend. so, as sister hope's daddy used to say, pray if you do and if you don't, whistle.
super nana will be here tomorrow for a couple of days. she was in nashville for a conference and as she said, too close not to come and visit. mr. moose is also planning a trip home as soon as he can get away. the coconut krewe keeps in close contact, so a visit is, as we call it around here, extras!
thanks for stopping by and thank you for keeping in touch.
you have my heart.
xoxoxxo
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
happy birthday, mr. moose!!!
today is mr.moose's birthday! #3 son started celebrating on sunday with the obligatory donut celebration. (it's actually a secret ritual that i've not participated in, but from what i can gather, it's the absolute best way to start birthday festivities!)
so, drop by and leave him a note if you can. he also has some great writing posted at his place!
so, drop by and leave him a note if you can. he also has some great writing posted at his place!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. MOOSE!!!
enjoy your day, sugarpie!! xoxoxo
Friday, July 22, 2011
today is the 12th day
things are moving slowly downhill here. thank you all for the kind words of support here and via email. miss daisy is not doing well. she is scheduled to see her brain doctor on the 28th. there isn't much to say about her condition except the staff at the palazzo is keeping her comfortable. i just wanted all y'all to know.
xoxoxo
xoxoxo
Sunday, July 10, 2011
due to circumstances...
there is very good news and very bad news around here, m'darlings...
seems the MITM and i are going to be grandparents! captain chaos & Stretch aka The Girl are going to have a baby in february!!!!! they've also purchased their first home, as well!
there's more good news out on the west coast, but i haven't been given the OK to post any of that yet, so stay tuned for those announcements.
before the bad news, here's a cute picture of moxie taken by mr. matrix:
*deep breath* soooooo...
life has a way of giving you kisses and hugs and then sucker punching you in the gut.
miss daisy has been in hospital since thursday. the MITM is there now because we still don't know what's going on or what the course of treatment is going to be from here on out. we're as prepared as any one can be, but what do you say? what can you do? what happens next? i can't help but think of my own mother and all that transpired 22 years ago and how if it hadn't been for the MITM, i don't know how i would have gotten through it all. i was an only child, so i had no siblings to help make the difficult decisions. i am glad he has his brother and sister to share that burden. right now, so much would be easier if we just KNEW what exactly was going on. i could (and at some point probably will) go on about medical reform in this country, but for now, i am asking all of you to keep good thoughts for miss daisy in whatever way you chose because i believe in my village and its power of collective good.
seems the MITM and i are going to be grandparents! captain chaos & Stretch aka The Girl are going to have a baby in february!!!!! they've also purchased their first home, as well!
there's more good news out on the west coast, but i haven't been given the OK to post any of that yet, so stay tuned for those announcements.
before the bad news, here's a cute picture of moxie taken by mr. matrix:
| moxie at starbucks |
*deep breath* soooooo...
life has a way of giving you kisses and hugs and then sucker punching you in the gut.
miss daisy has been in hospital since thursday. the MITM is there now because we still don't know what's going on or what the course of treatment is going to be from here on out. we're as prepared as any one can be, but what do you say? what can you do? what happens next? i can't help but think of my own mother and all that transpired 22 years ago and how if it hadn't been for the MITM, i don't know how i would have gotten through it all. i was an only child, so i had no siblings to help make the difficult decisions. i am glad he has his brother and sister to share that burden. right now, so much would be easier if we just KNEW what exactly was going on. i could (and at some point probably will) go on about medical reform in this country, but for now, i am asking all of you to keep good thoughts for miss daisy in whatever way you chose because i believe in my village and its power of collective good.
Monday, July 4, 2011
July 4, 1776
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
~~~~~
happy 4th of july!
~~~~~~~~~~
read this article from the washington post about what the declaration of independence means and really says.
Monday, June 27, 2011
dispatches from the plantation shall resume shortly...
What you are is what you have been. What you'll be is what you do now.
- Buddha
Thursday, June 23, 2011
thursday UPDATE or hallelujah, our house is our home again!
the MITM and i damn near slept the whole day away yesterday!
i had started doing laundry tuesday evening and did the last load this morning! this is probably too much information, but the MITM has been wandering around the house in his jockey boxer shorts and tee shirt since tuesday afternoon! yeah, nothing says only two grown folks live in a house than walking around in your skivvies and drinking juice out of the bottle! of course, having the MITM back in the kitchen cooking again helps! (ok, helps me because he really is a great cook!) i could go on (and trust me, at some point i probably will) but not today. today, i'm folding that pile of fresh laundry and putting things away. we'll be doing saturday chores a day early and i think this weekend will be a really good one to just goof off and do absolutely nothing! (From the MITM: gourmet cooking and drinking great wines. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!)
there is no easy way to say this, but hot damn, i am so glad they are GONE!
i had started doing laundry tuesday evening and did the last load this morning! this is probably too much information, but the MITM has been wandering around the house in his jockey boxer shorts and tee shirt since tuesday afternoon! yeah, nothing says only two grown folks live in a house than walking around in your skivvies and drinking juice out of the bottle! of course, having the MITM back in the kitchen cooking again helps! (ok, helps me because he really is a great cook!) i could go on (and trust me, at some point i probably will) but not today. today, i'm folding that pile of fresh laundry and putting things away. we'll be doing saturday chores a day early and i think this weekend will be a really good one to just goof off and do absolutely nothing! (From the MITM: gourmet cooking and drinking great wines. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!)
there is no easy way to say this, but hot damn, i am so glad they are GONE!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
and it's tuesday...
...and MOVING DAY!!
yes, my darlings, as i type, (at 06h37) mr cta has put a load of laundry in the washer and already placed their dirty linen in the laundry room hamper. but, i'm jumping ahead of the story.
sunday morning it was sort of business as usual around here with us up having coffee and watching news. mr & mrs cta woke and for a change, started making breakfast early for their children. no discussion about saturday or the words exchanged between the 2 men. the MITM told him that we were going to a father's day party at 16h00 and if they would be back before then (as they have been every sunday since they got here)? the MITM offered a key, but it was declined. mr cta assured him they'd be back here before we left.
and then, the atmosphere changed...
mr cta received a call and went outside. there were a couple more calls and suddenly, he couldn't or wouldn't meet our eye, speak directly or get this, even cross paths with us. he got dressed for church quickly and went outside. we could hear mrs cta hustling the kids to finish dressing. without a word of goodbye (which has been a big ceremony with them) they were all outside waiting. a few minutes later, a cab drove up and off they went.
fast forward to 15h30 (because what we did while they were gone isn't germane to this story.)
the MITM mobile rings and it's mr cta saying that won't be back in time and would we be home by 18h00? with a very calm voice the MITM said that no, since the party started at 16h00, we wouldn't be, but mr cta should call before he got to the house and we'd make arrangements accordingly. so, onward and upward and party on, garth.... we're sitting at our BFF's dinner table and in nowhere near done when the MITM's mobile rings at 19h00. blah, blah, blah and he hangs up and says, they're in front of our house waiting. there was much said, as we pondered over the correct course of action, but i'll just leave it at i said i'd go let them in the house and come back. remember the time, 19h00 and they are now inside the house.
we came home a couple of hours later, yep, 20h30, only to find the a pot on the stove with some sort chicken melange boiling away and no one in the kitchen. we could only assume that during the time i dropped them off and the time we got home, the family was in conference because mr&mrs cta did not feed their children and themselves until almost 23h00!! (and this i can not forgive, bad parenting) we were watching tv. at one point, mr cta came over and asked if we'd seen the show before and humbling about what was it, etc. now, the MITM knows him, so he got up and said, what do you need to tell me so you can stop disturbing savannah (which already had happened and yes, i had already given mr cta a snarky answer about the show...). blah, blah, blah and the MITM returns to the living room shaking his head. he leans over and says, "mr cta wants to say something, but doesn't know how to say it, i can tell. my guess, is they will be out of here sooner than we thought."
and then it was monday...
mr cta started a discussion with the MITM (while he and i were working, of course) about what he needed to do now about employment and housing. the leads he had been waiting for from his friend in jacksonville turned out to be an temp agency the man had used while HE was in savannah! sweet mary sunshine, at that point i got up and left the room! i mean, we had given him good solid leads on jobs that he ignored, in fact, dismissed out of hand BECAUSE a friend of his was waiting to give him job leads...(wtf, right?) anyway, much talking and slightly raised voices later, it seems mrs cta didn't have to work on monday and since the MITM was going to take mr cta to print out some documents and look at some apartments, she was going, along with the children and she wanted to go to the park as a family and would the MITM kindly drop them there.
we did not see or hear from them until 21h30 last night when they rang the front doorbell and i let them in. mrs cta hustled the children off to bed, so we figured they'd eaten while they were out. and then the drama began, we're watching a movie and mr cta comes out and sits on the sofa, obviously too chickenshit (yeah, i said it) to speak in a manly fashion to us. i mean, come on, it's just tv, if you have something you want to say, fucking say it! you know as in hey, sorry to disturb you, but i need to talk to you both. it was as if he thought that by his just being we would KNOW that he needed to speak to us. finally, the MITM just paused the movie and asked him point blank what is it you want to say. and like that proverbial middle button on a fat man's shirt yearning to be free, he spoke. it seems he had finally found his manhood and was going to leave us in the morning. he kept going on about how he didn't want us to be angry with them, that they were grateful for all we'd done, that please do not close our hearts to them...blah, blah, blah. the MITM assured mr cta that his anger was with the rest of his coreligionists and not he and mrs cta. that it was THEM who had offended us and that his BRETHREN were not welcome in our home. and then it began...the apartment they want won't be ready until next week, so they're going to go to a residential suites hotel. but they have no pots or dishes...my response, go to target or wal-mart. would "mr. MITM still honor his promise (passive aggressive speak again) about giving them the bed..." and could they have some linen, etc. the MITM, said yes, to the bed and no to anything else. end of discussion.
there's more, but it's done. i know that the fear they have isn't about us being angry with them. it's a reaction to coming from a police state and not really understanding that we have nothing to do with their immigration status. we can't cause them to be deported, we can't revoke their green cards. america doesn't work that way (on our level anyway...). what mr&mrs cta don't understand yet is that, we can disagree on religion, disagree on politics, even disagree on what's the best food to eat, but it doesn't make us enemies and it doesn't change a relationship, unless you want it to!
yes, my darlings, as i type, (at 06h37) mr cta has put a load of laundry in the washer and already placed their dirty linen in the laundry room hamper. but, i'm jumping ahead of the story.
sunday morning it was sort of business as usual around here with us up having coffee and watching news. mr & mrs cta woke and for a change, started making breakfast early for their children. no discussion about saturday or the words exchanged between the 2 men. the MITM told him that we were going to a father's day party at 16h00 and if they would be back before then (as they have been every sunday since they got here)? the MITM offered a key, but it was declined. mr cta assured him they'd be back here before we left.
and then, the atmosphere changed...
mr cta received a call and went outside. there were a couple more calls and suddenly, he couldn't or wouldn't meet our eye, speak directly or get this, even cross paths with us. he got dressed for church quickly and went outside. we could hear mrs cta hustling the kids to finish dressing. without a word of goodbye (which has been a big ceremony with them) they were all outside waiting. a few minutes later, a cab drove up and off they went.
fast forward to 15h30 (because what we did while they were gone isn't germane to this story.)
the MITM mobile rings and it's mr cta saying that won't be back in time and would we be home by 18h00? with a very calm voice the MITM said that no, since the party started at 16h00, we wouldn't be, but mr cta should call before he got to the house and we'd make arrangements accordingly. so, onward and upward and party on, garth.... we're sitting at our BFF's dinner table and in nowhere near done when the MITM's mobile rings at 19h00. blah, blah, blah and he hangs up and says, they're in front of our house waiting. there was much said, as we pondered over the correct course of action, but i'll just leave it at i said i'd go let them in the house and come back. remember the time, 19h00 and they are now inside the house.
we came home a couple of hours later, yep, 20h30, only to find the a pot on the stove with some sort chicken melange boiling away and no one in the kitchen. we could only assume that during the time i dropped them off and the time we got home, the family was in conference because mr&mrs cta did not feed their children and themselves until almost 23h00!! (and this i can not forgive, bad parenting) we were watching tv. at one point, mr cta came over and asked if we'd seen the show before and humbling about what was it, etc. now, the MITM knows him, so he got up and said, what do you need to tell me so you can stop disturbing savannah (which already had happened and yes, i had already given mr cta a snarky answer about the show...). blah, blah, blah and the MITM returns to the living room shaking his head. he leans over and says, "mr cta wants to say something, but doesn't know how to say it, i can tell. my guess, is they will be out of here sooner than we thought."
and then it was monday...
mr cta started a discussion with the MITM (while he and i were working, of course) about what he needed to do now about employment and housing. the leads he had been waiting for from his friend in jacksonville turned out to be an temp agency the man had used while HE was in savannah! sweet mary sunshine, at that point i got up and left the room! i mean, we had given him good solid leads on jobs that he ignored, in fact, dismissed out of hand BECAUSE a friend of his was waiting to give him job leads...(wtf, right?) anyway, much talking and slightly raised voices later, it seems mrs cta didn't have to work on monday and since the MITM was going to take mr cta to print out some documents and look at some apartments, she was going, along with the children and she wanted to go to the park as a family and would the MITM kindly drop them there.
we did not see or hear from them until 21h30 last night when they rang the front doorbell and i let them in. mrs cta hustled the children off to bed, so we figured they'd eaten while they were out. and then the drama began, we're watching a movie and mr cta comes out and sits on the sofa, obviously too chickenshit (yeah, i said it) to speak in a manly fashion to us. i mean, come on, it's just tv, if you have something you want to say, fucking say it! you know as in hey, sorry to disturb you, but i need to talk to you both. it was as if he thought that by his just being we would KNOW that he needed to speak to us. finally, the MITM just paused the movie and asked him point blank what is it you want to say. and like that proverbial middle button on a fat man's shirt yearning to be free, he spoke. it seems he had finally found his manhood and was going to leave us in the morning. he kept going on about how he didn't want us to be angry with them, that they were grateful for all we'd done, that please do not close our hearts to them...blah, blah, blah. the MITM assured mr cta that his anger was with the rest of his coreligionists and not he and mrs cta. that it was THEM who had offended us and that his BRETHREN were not welcome in our home. and then it began...the apartment they want won't be ready until next week, so they're going to go to a residential suites hotel. but they have no pots or dishes...my response, go to target or wal-mart. would "mr. MITM still honor his promise (passive aggressive speak again) about giving them the bed..." and could they have some linen, etc. the MITM, said yes, to the bed and no to anything else. end of discussion.
there's more, but it's done. i know that the fear they have isn't about us being angry with them. it's a reaction to coming from a police state and not really understanding that we have nothing to do with their immigration status. we can't cause them to be deported, we can't revoke their green cards. america doesn't work that way (on our level anyway...). what mr&mrs cta don't understand yet is that, we can disagree on religion, disagree on politics, even disagree on what's the best food to eat, but it doesn't make us enemies and it doesn't change a relationship, unless you want it to!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD!!!!!
ok, now promise me y'all won't tell anyone! but....
THE MITM WENT OFF ON MR CTA!!!!!
i had to sort of disappear into the woodwork ( i picked up my book and started reading in another room).
anyway, mr. cta said to the MITM and i quote (i mean, really darlings, did you think i was really reading?) "there is a conference of jehovah's witness in columbia, south carolina and the ward is going to pay our way to go to it on thursday of next week." well, my darlings, the MITM hit the proverbial fucking ceiling! his words and i quote exactly, "if they are willing to pay your way to FUCKING south carolina for a religious conference, then they damn sure should be willing to help you find a damn apartment! your people know your situation. you need a job and a place for your family to live!" oh yeah, he went there! it seems our dear visitors and their coreligionists are willing to abide with the non-believers (us) sheltering them and see no problem with us expending our money and hospitality to mr&mrs cta and family instead of the church members doing it. mr cta did not want to understand that asking us to continue to house them and simply wait for their return, rather than finding a place for him and his family BEFORE he went on some religious revival was an insult to us and certainly, an abuse of our hospitality. we have not asked them for a penny, nor were we doing this out of any other instinct than friendship. now, remember, mr cta KNOWS the MITM. he worked for the MITM for years in deepestdarkestafrica, so he is well aware of what it means when the MITM raises his voice. MITM flat out told him that going to "some bullshit gospel revival" rather than taking care of the business he came here for was flat out ridiculous and that the MITM was not going to subsidize any of this kinda crap. mr cta tried to counter with something about the bible and the MITM told him "you might as well be telling me something from a comic book or alice in wonderland. i don't give a fuck about your drug of choice." (just so you know, the MITM respects all religions, but not on his dime. his philosophy is, "to you be your way, to me be mine" when it comes to matters of faith. he personally thinks all religions are 95% mythology and 5% of any good to humanity, and then only in the hands of tolerant and reasonable people.)
the ultimatum is out there.
if you leave on thursday, take all of your belongings because you will not come back here.
more to come...
THE MITM WENT OFF ON MR CTA!!!!!
i had to sort of disappear into the woodwork ( i picked up my book and started reading in another room).
anyway, mr. cta said to the MITM and i quote (i mean, really darlings, did you think i was really reading?) "there is a conference of jehovah's witness in columbia, south carolina and the ward is going to pay our way to go to it on thursday of next week." well, my darlings, the MITM hit the proverbial fucking ceiling! his words and i quote exactly, "if they are willing to pay your way to FUCKING south carolina for a religious conference, then they damn sure should be willing to help you find a damn apartment! your people know your situation. you need a job and a place for your family to live!" oh yeah, he went there! it seems our dear visitors and their coreligionists are willing to abide with the non-believers (us) sheltering them and see no problem with us expending our money and hospitality to mr&mrs cta and family instead of the church members doing it. mr cta did not want to understand that asking us to continue to house them and simply wait for their return, rather than finding a place for him and his family BEFORE he went on some religious revival was an insult to us and certainly, an abuse of our hospitality. we have not asked them for a penny, nor were we doing this out of any other instinct than friendship. now, remember, mr cta KNOWS the MITM. he worked for the MITM for years in deepestdarkestafrica, so he is well aware of what it means when the MITM raises his voice. MITM flat out told him that going to "some bullshit gospel revival" rather than taking care of the business he came here for was flat out ridiculous and that the MITM was not going to subsidize any of this kinda crap. mr cta tried to counter with something about the bible and the MITM told him "you might as well be telling me something from a comic book or alice in wonderland. i don't give a fuck about your drug of choice." (just so you know, the MITM respects all religions, but not on his dime. his philosophy is, "to you be your way, to me be mine" when it comes to matters of faith. he personally thinks all religions are 95% mythology and 5% of any good to humanity, and then only in the hands of tolerant and reasonable people.)
the ultimatum is out there.
if you leave on thursday, take all of your belongings because you will not come back here.
more to come...
Friday, June 17, 2011
a change of pace
i had driving miss daisy duty yesterday.
she was just finishing getting ready and had already dismissed her attendants at the palazzo in anticipation of the MITM's arrival, so she was surprised when i said hello. actually, what she said after i spoke was, "who's there?"
anyway, no harm, no foul, we took off on our own mad hatter's tea party ride.
this is one of those times when i wonder which one of us has dementia! the drive from the palazzo to the brain surgeon (yeah, i know the proper term for his discipline, but we make the same joke every time about the man) is about 15 minutes. oh yeah, good thing we left a bit early because i got lost! i could not find the street even though i was only at the most 3 blocks away from the man's office! i had to call the MITM for the street name, a landmark, anything that would get me there. miss daisy kept saying, "don't ask me, honey, i'm even more lost than you!" she did make me laugh when i finally figured out not only where we were going, but how i missed the street by saying maybe i should take her appointment!
this was another of those "let's see how she's doing" visits. as we waited in the examining room, miss daisy asked me if i'd ever had a song in my head that just popped in and wouldn't leave. of course, i told her about ear worms, a concept and name she found hilarious (are you rick rolling yet?) but, i digress, her song was how high the moon, i could hum it and knew some of the lyrics, but she knew the entire thing. so there we sat, humming and singing and channeling ella fitzgerald just a bit slower and office appropriate sotto voce.
and then it got better.
we did the name her 4 children and their spouses. then name all the children and their spouses. and then the great grandchildren. and my special category (makes her laugh every single time) MY granddogs! yeah, that's right, ghost face killah and moxie! miss daisy still remembers how the boys at her hair salon KNEW the answer to "guess what the rest of ghost's name is" when he stayed with me while captain chaos was in sweden. yesterday was her eldest son's only child's birthday. the commander (he's navy) turned 43, so we had a few laughs over that which is how the whole name the clan game started.
we spent a good 3 hours together. i was happy and i think, so was she.
(the MITM, on the other hand, was in the midst of his own personal hell with mr&mr cta.)
she was just finishing getting ready and had already dismissed her attendants at the palazzo in anticipation of the MITM's arrival, so she was surprised when i said hello. actually, what she said after i spoke was, "who's there?"
anyway, no harm, no foul, we took off on our own mad hatter's tea party ride.
this is one of those times when i wonder which one of us has dementia! the drive from the palazzo to the brain surgeon (yeah, i know the proper term for his discipline, but we make the same joke every time about the man) is about 15 minutes. oh yeah, good thing we left a bit early because i got lost! i could not find the street even though i was only at the most 3 blocks away from the man's office! i had to call the MITM for the street name, a landmark, anything that would get me there. miss daisy kept saying, "don't ask me, honey, i'm even more lost than you!" she did make me laugh when i finally figured out not only where we were going, but how i missed the street by saying maybe i should take her appointment!
this was another of those "let's see how she's doing" visits. as we waited in the examining room, miss daisy asked me if i'd ever had a song in my head that just popped in and wouldn't leave. of course, i told her about ear worms, a concept and name she found hilarious (are you rick rolling yet?) but, i digress, her song was how high the moon, i could hum it and knew some of the lyrics, but she knew the entire thing. so there we sat, humming and singing and channeling ella fitzgerald just a bit slower and office appropriate sotto voce.
and then it got better.
we did the name her 4 children and their spouses. then name all the children and their spouses. and then the great grandchildren. and my special category (makes her laugh every single time) MY granddogs! yeah, that's right, ghost face killah and moxie! miss daisy still remembers how the boys at her hair salon KNEW the answer to "guess what the rest of ghost's name is" when he stayed with me while captain chaos was in sweden. yesterday was her eldest son's only child's birthday. the commander (he's navy) turned 43, so we had a few laughs over that which is how the whole name the clan game started.
we spent a good 3 hours together. i was happy and i think, so was she.
(the MITM, on the other hand, was in the midst of his own personal hell with mr&mr cta.)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
from the new york times (metropolitian diary) to god's ear...
Dear Diary:
For 10 minutes on a 34th Street crosstown bus, a man loudly and persistently preached to the other passengers about Jesus Christ, salvation and the gates to heaven.
Although nobody said anything to or about him during his “sermon,” the moment he exited the bus, one passenger asked out loud, to no one in particular, “Did he get off?”
Another passenger responded: “Yes. There is a God!”
— Michael Schubert
...and like the middle button on a fat man's shirt, i am yearning to be free! today, we should find out just how concerned mr&mrs cta's fellow jehovah's witness are...
For 10 minutes on a 34th Street crosstown bus, a man loudly and persistently preached to the other passengers about Jesus Christ, salvation and the gates to heaven.
Although nobody said anything to or about him during his “sermon,” the moment he exited the bus, one passenger asked out loud, to no one in particular, “Did he get off?”
Another passenger responded: “Yes. There is a God!”
— Michael Schubert
...and like the middle button on a fat man's shirt, i am yearning to be free! today, we should find out just how concerned mr&mrs cta's fellow jehovah's witness are...
Sunday, June 12, 2011
and then on sunday...
she thought she would enjoy the comfort of her home for a few hours.
but noooooooooooooo.
things change.
as the man said, things fall down.
the peace of an afternoon is gone and the world continues, just on a different axis known only to me.
i have been informed by a person who is more knowledgeable about the christian religion of our guests than myself, that the book mr&mrs cta follow declares they should NOT surround themselves or place themselves in the company of non-believers. and baby, the MITM and i have got to be the HEIGHT of non-believers in their book. so, my question, which neither i nor the MITM can answer is why after 3 weeks, mr&mrs cta's fellow religionists have not rescued them from our den of (comfortable) iniquity? yep, my darlings, this story, this saga gets more and more convoluted
but noooooooooooooo.
things change.
as the man said, things fall down.
the peace of an afternoon is gone and the world continues, just on a different axis known only to me.
i have been informed by a person who is more knowledgeable about the christian religion of our guests than myself, that the book mr&mrs cta follow declares they should NOT surround themselves or place themselves in the company of non-believers. and baby, the MITM and i have got to be the HEIGHT of non-believers in their book. so, my question, which neither i nor the MITM can answer is why after 3 weeks, mr&mrs cta's fellow religionists have not rescued them from our den of (comfortable) iniquity? yep, my darlings, this story, this saga gets more and more convoluted
E V E R Y D A Y!
*the following paragraph has been redacted to provide plausible deniability for the MITM*
and yea, who knew, right?
Friday, June 10, 2011
and the MITM said, don't make a comment, make a new post...
as sweet hope said, our village has spoken!
the MITM and i appreciate your words of support and advice. we're drawing on our l.a. roots and doing the good cop/bad cop routine. i, of course, will be the good cop (and that's only because i don't speak french *see super nana's comment*). the MITM said all ya'll will know when he's done because there will be posts about "you don't have to go home, but ya got ta' get the hell out of of here!" we're sort of writing this entry together over coffee. the children (unfed) have been sent outside by their parents to do some calisthenics. we have gone back to our regular routine, coffee, breakfast and the tv on with the morning news programs. yes, at 07h00 it was business as usual around here. mr cta did wake up around 08h00 and watched the news with the MITM, but that's as far as it got.
now, the 'rents are awake and making their way to the kitchen now. we shall see.
the issue here is the cultural disconnect. several of you touched on it. the MITM has lived in their country, so he's well tuned to the nuance of their lives that escape me. he is actively encouraging mr cta to seek employment and to use his church contacts (more about that later) to help them find an apartment. to be very clear, mr cta is not and will not be on the dole, they have money that they saved for this move. what we're dealing with is a crash course in adapting to a new culture! tough love, as daisyfae called it.
real time case in point, mr cta is fixing breakfast, his mobile rang, he answered and WALKED THE HELL OUTSIDE, food on the stove and milk warming! yes, i got up lowered the fire. he just walke d back in and i told him: you can not walk away from the stove, you can not leave the flame up HIGH, food will burn! (and i will be severely pissed off if the fire alarm goes off and my house is filled with smoke.) (i almost said that, but the MITM shot me that look, so i didn't)
i know they are feeling pressure being under such scrutiny, but seriously, better to learn some living in america rules safely, than to have something negative happen later!
that's our story and we're sticking to it!
the MITM and i appreciate your words of support and advice. we're drawing on our l.a. roots and doing the good cop/bad cop routine. i, of course, will be the good cop (and that's only because i don't speak french *see super nana's comment*). the MITM said all ya'll will know when he's done because there will be posts about "you don't have to go home, but ya got ta' get the hell out of of here!" we're sort of writing this entry together over coffee. the children (unfed) have been sent outside by their parents to do some calisthenics. we have gone back to our regular routine, coffee, breakfast and the tv on with the morning news programs. yes, at 07h00 it was business as usual around here. mr cta did wake up around 08h00 and watched the news with the MITM, but that's as far as it got.
now, the 'rents are awake and making their way to the kitchen now. we shall see.
the issue here is the cultural disconnect. several of you touched on it. the MITM has lived in their country, so he's well tuned to the nuance of their lives that escape me. he is actively encouraging mr cta to seek employment and to use his church contacts (more about that later) to help them find an apartment. to be very clear, mr cta is not and will not be on the dole, they have money that they saved for this move. what we're dealing with is a crash course in adapting to a new culture! tough love, as daisyfae called it.
real time case in point, mr cta is fixing breakfast, his mobile rang, he answered and WALKED THE HELL OUTSIDE, food on the stove and milk warming! yes, i got up lowered the fire. he just walke d back in and i told him: you can not walk away from the stove, you can not leave the flame up HIGH, food will burn! (and i will be severely pissed off if the fire alarm goes off and my house is filled with smoke.) (i almost said that, but the MITM shot me that look, so i didn't)
i know they are feeling pressure being under such scrutiny, but seriously, better to learn some living in america rules safely, than to have something negative happen later!
that's our story and we're sticking to it!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
tomorrow marks 2 weeks...
this is the day i knew would come.
the day when i started thinking when are they leaving?
i knew it would come. and so did all y'all! the initial "welcome to america" fanfare is over, banners put away, confetti cleaned up and now it's get a J-O-B, son! mrs cta already has a gig and starts next week. she does seriously intricate braiding and already has (thanks to my pal, miss carol) a job! (remember, they are here legally and green cards are in the system and will arrive soon.) she is also champing at the bit to get out and be on her own with her little family. i totally understand that concept. it's difficult enough living with your own family when you've had your own home and things around you. now, here she is in a foreign country, only knowing a bit of the language and living with strangers! so, fair play to her, she's doing her best...
BUT, (and you knew THAT was coming) she is a tad lazy. even her husband said so before they got here (to the MITM) and again many, many, many times to him since. now, i had 4 children around the same age as her 3 when i was 29. i know how difficult it can be, but holy enchilladas, batman, it can be done! this ain't deepestdarkestafrica. parents get the hell up BEFORE their children and go to bed after them! you feed them, bathe them, clothe them, discipline them, WATCH THEM and then, if you're lucky, you get a moment to sit down and relax. the children, bless their hearts, are really good kids and are already adapting to life on the plantation. they get the fact that savannah & the MITM expect good behavior and QUIET! they also already know that the both of us are saps for a kid's smile! so, i have no beef with the kids. been there, done that and yes, i cut them major amounts of slack. ok, so where am i going with this? how do you tell adults, without scaring the hell out of them, that you can't just let your children run wild in a mall, a store, the PARKING LOT or even the street in front of the house. not everyone you meet is a nice person, not every car drives slowly on residential streets and yes, i know, all y'all know what i'm talking about. so i'm guessing i'm just venting now.
anyway, the MITM had told me what to expect and i thought i wouldn't be surprised, but i am. ok, maybe, i'm surprised by my reaction to the situation. i always thought of myself as flexible and unimposing. what i'm finding is that i am not either when it comes to other people IN MY HOME. (does that make a difference?) when i was in public service, adaptability, flexibility and understanding were imperative traits. they have deserted me! now, i have to seriously do the "count to 10 before you speak" routine. what makes me think my way is the right way just because it's my home? ok, there are some things that are driving me nuts/around the bend/up a tree and generally bugging the hell out of me! mrs. cta ASSUMES that someone, anyone, ME will just watch her children and do what needs to be done. not so, missy! mr cta is equally as irresponsible, but that's another tale. this afternoon, after fixing (and eating) their brunch/mid-day meal BECAUSE mr cta couldn't do anything other than make toast and warm milk for the kids around 9:30ish, she sat on the sofa in the living room and started dozing off. at some point, she got up and went to her room and promptly fell asleep. the kids were really loud and out of my line of sight, so i went to check on WTF was going on, she wasn't there...
so, i sent them to bed.
with her.
i had a momentary pang of guilt, but that soon passed.
is this so wrong?
i KNOW i need to be a bit more generous of spirit, but as super nana once said to me when i told her to take the high road and be nice...my legs hurt from taking that hike so much, ma!
*sigh*
*double sigh*
*one of those famous irish sighs*
and then,
*one of those equally famous scottish sighs*
now, bring it on.
tell me the truth.
i need to keep my words of old lady wisdom limited to:
health (as in remember to wash your hands.)
and
safety (as in don't run into the street.)
i'm listening, blogville
(if this sounds a bit choppy, it's because i did a quick edit and not a re-write...yes, i know, even my confessions are self censored right now.)
the day when i started thinking when are they leaving?
i knew it would come. and so did all y'all! the initial "welcome to america" fanfare is over, banners put away, confetti cleaned up and now it's get a J-O-B, son! mrs cta already has a gig and starts next week. she does seriously intricate braiding and already has (thanks to my pal, miss carol) a job! (remember, they are here legally and green cards are in the system and will arrive soon.) she is also champing at the bit to get out and be on her own with her little family. i totally understand that concept. it's difficult enough living with your own family when you've had your own home and things around you. now, here she is in a foreign country, only knowing a bit of the language and living with strangers! so, fair play to her, she's doing her best...
BUT, (and you knew THAT was coming) she is a tad lazy. even her husband said so before they got here (to the MITM) and again many, many, many times to him since. now, i had 4 children around the same age as her 3 when i was 29. i know how difficult it can be, but holy enchilladas, batman, it can be done! this ain't deepestdarkestafrica. parents get the hell up BEFORE their children and go to bed after them! you feed them, bathe them, clothe them, discipline them, WATCH THEM and then, if you're lucky, you get a moment to sit down and relax. the children, bless their hearts, are really good kids and are already adapting to life on the plantation. they get the fact that savannah & the MITM expect good behavior and QUIET! they also already know that the both of us are saps for a kid's smile! so, i have no beef with the kids. been there, done that and yes, i cut them major amounts of slack. ok, so where am i going with this? how do you tell adults, without scaring the hell out of them, that you can't just let your children run wild in a mall, a store, the PARKING LOT or even the street in front of the house. not everyone you meet is a nice person, not every car drives slowly on residential streets and yes, i know, all y'all know what i'm talking about. so i'm guessing i'm just venting now.
anyway, the MITM had told me what to expect and i thought i wouldn't be surprised, but i am. ok, maybe, i'm surprised by my reaction to the situation. i always thought of myself as flexible and unimposing. what i'm finding is that i am not either when it comes to other people IN MY HOME. (does that make a difference?) when i was in public service, adaptability, flexibility and understanding were imperative traits. they have deserted me! now, i have to seriously do the "count to 10 before you speak" routine. what makes me think my way is the right way just because it's my home? ok, there are some things that are driving me nuts/around the bend/up a tree and generally bugging the hell out of me! mrs. cta ASSUMES that someone, anyone, ME will just watch her children and do what needs to be done. not so, missy! mr cta is equally as irresponsible, but that's another tale. this afternoon, after fixing (and eating) their brunch/mid-day meal BECAUSE mr cta couldn't do anything other than make toast and warm milk for the kids around 9:30ish, she sat on the sofa in the living room and started dozing off. at some point, she got up and went to her room and promptly fell asleep. the kids were really loud and out of my line of sight, so i went to check on WTF was going on, she wasn't there...
so, i sent them to bed.
with her.
i had a momentary pang of guilt, but that soon passed.
is this so wrong?
i KNOW i need to be a bit more generous of spirit, but as super nana once said to me when i told her to take the high road and be nice...my legs hurt from taking that hike so much, ma!
*sigh*
*double sigh*
*one of those famous irish sighs*
and then,
*one of those equally famous scottish sighs*
now, bring it on.
tell me the truth.
i need to keep my words of old lady wisdom limited to:
health (as in remember to wash your hands.)
and
safety (as in don't run into the street.)
i'm listening, blogville
(if this sounds a bit choppy, it's because i did a quick edit and not a re-write...yes, i know, even my confessions are self censored right now.)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MITM!
he's older than he was yesterday
and
he's considerably older than ME! (by six months)
anyway, this year marks the first year in more years than any of us can even remember that he's been home on his birthday! in fact, it's such a surprise, we have nothing planned, except, some cake and ice cream. of course, with mr&mrs cta and their children here, it's almost like a party every day. (ok, not really. explanation to come later)
i'm just glad he's home!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MAN IN THE MOON!
xoxoxoxo
WEDNESDAY UPDATE:
Thank you all for the birthday greetings! the MITM
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
MR.CTA - the Backstory - MITM
There's a line from the great movie Apocalypse Now that comes to mind when I meet people like Mr. CTA - "The light and space of Vietnam really put the zap on his head." When I first met him it was in the capital of a shithole of a country in Africa. You just knew this guy was bright, wrapped to tight to survive much longer under the daily bullshit of a police state, and getting by each day by being as professional as possible, smiling on the outside and silently screaming on the inside. If anyone ever needed to get out of Dodge it was him. That was seven years ago.
I had never even heard of the diversity visa program other than the scams that were being run over the internet to separate people from their money by promising to get them a green card visa to the U.S. if they paid some money in advance to some Ahmed, Mohammed, Dajingbye, Lucky Garang, etc. in London, or Paris, or Brussels. Guys used to bring these things to me all the time to ask me if it was legit. And they never were. And people wanted to come to the home of the brave and the land of the free so bad they kept getting conned. Go figure. It's not the bullshit they see in Hollywood movies or regurgitated MTV crap that makes them want to come here. What it is is the concept of Freedom - that's it, plain and raw and simple. We have nothing else to offer them. They see through the commercial crap, that's easy. It's like an Egyptian told me once - you promised us Chauteabriand and Mozart if we played by your rules - all we got was McDonalds and Michael Jackson. Ah, but freedom, that's a whole different beast. They know about it because they know its absence. It's something that burns in your soul late at night. It's something that once it infects you nothing less will suffice. And even those who bury it deep in their innards as they carry out the will of dictators to get money and power know that it is something of value, even if they have already sold their souls to the enemies of all that is sacred.
So Mr. CTA comes to me a few years ago and says he and the missus need an address of someone in the U.S. to put on their application for the diversity visa program. The program takes in up to 50,000 people a year into the U.S. from countries that are underrepresented in the U.S. immigration rolls. I checked out the paperwork and went to the U.S. Embassy to ask about the program's legitimacy. Now if you know anything about U.S. Embassies in Africa you know that they are always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to information about what's really going on. And the boys and girls who man these post are always a brick short of a full load when it comes to assessing who are the bad guys and who are the good guys in Africa. So I was, necessarily, a bit wary about the information I would get. But wonder of wonders - it was legit. I figured what are the odds - I gave Mr. CTA the greenlight for our house.
I sit here now in the U.S.A. with Mr. and Mrs. CTA and their three children buying lotto tickets in their names. I figure if Mrs. CTA won the diversity visa - what are the odds???
More about all this later....
MITM
I had never even heard of the diversity visa program other than the scams that were being run over the internet to separate people from their money by promising to get them a green card visa to the U.S. if they paid some money in advance to some Ahmed, Mohammed, Dajingbye, Lucky Garang, etc. in London, or Paris, or Brussels. Guys used to bring these things to me all the time to ask me if it was legit. And they never were. And people wanted to come to the home of the brave and the land of the free so bad they kept getting conned. Go figure. It's not the bullshit they see in Hollywood movies or regurgitated MTV crap that makes them want to come here. What it is is the concept of Freedom - that's it, plain and raw and simple. We have nothing else to offer them. They see through the commercial crap, that's easy. It's like an Egyptian told me once - you promised us Chauteabriand and Mozart if we played by your rules - all we got was McDonalds and Michael Jackson. Ah, but freedom, that's a whole different beast. They know about it because they know its absence. It's something that burns in your soul late at night. It's something that once it infects you nothing less will suffice. And even those who bury it deep in their innards as they carry out the will of dictators to get money and power know that it is something of value, even if they have already sold their souls to the enemies of all that is sacred.
So Mr. CTA comes to me a few years ago and says he and the missus need an address of someone in the U.S. to put on their application for the diversity visa program. The program takes in up to 50,000 people a year into the U.S. from countries that are underrepresented in the U.S. immigration rolls. I checked out the paperwork and went to the U.S. Embassy to ask about the program's legitimacy. Now if you know anything about U.S. Embassies in Africa you know that they are always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to information about what's really going on. And the boys and girls who man these post are always a brick short of a full load when it comes to assessing who are the bad guys and who are the good guys in Africa. So I was, necessarily, a bit wary about the information I would get. But wonder of wonders - it was legit. I figured what are the odds - I gave Mr. CTA the greenlight for our house.
I sit here now in the U.S.A. with Mr. and Mrs. CTA and their three children buying lotto tickets in their names. I figure if Mrs. CTA won the diversity visa - what are the odds???
More about all this later....
MITM
Monday, May 30, 2011
sweet mary sunshine!
i don't even know where to start!
the family went downtown yesterday and also, out to tybee beach! as far as they're concerned my little town is HUGE and the beach an absolute miracle of nature. you have to remember they're from a landlocked country and this trip was the first time not only outside of their country, but outside of the capital! anyway, i've asked the MITM to do a post about the field trip because i wasn't there! (i had wait for the luggage duty!)
the MITM and i really appreciate all of your kind words. doing this for mr&mrs cta is one of those things we had to do! i like to think of this as part of our american dna, we help, we try to do the right thing, we are at our core, as a nation, good people. mr&mrs cta have said this over and over again, americans have been kind, generous and good them since the moment they touched down in d.c. just the story of going through customs was an experience beyond anything they expected. they have lived in a police state and not matter what, we have elections and wake up the next day, to the same society, the same rules, the same EVERYTHING, just a different guy or gal at the helm. no military coups, no militia standing guard, no secret police coming to the door because you voted the wrong way! sometimes, we need to be reminded that no matter what, we are damned lucky kids!
ok, yes, you can remind me about all of this when i start complaining about the renewal of the patriot act! but no matter what, it still nothing like living in deepestdarkestafrica!
the family went downtown yesterday and also, out to tybee beach! as far as they're concerned my little town is HUGE and the beach an absolute miracle of nature. you have to remember they're from a landlocked country and this trip was the first time not only outside of their country, but outside of the capital! anyway, i've asked the MITM to do a post about the field trip because i wasn't there! (i had wait for the luggage duty!)
the MITM and i really appreciate all of your kind words. doing this for mr&mrs cta is one of those things we had to do! i like to think of this as part of our american dna, we help, we try to do the right thing, we are at our core, as a nation, good people. mr&mrs cta have said this over and over again, americans have been kind, generous and good them since the moment they touched down in d.c. just the story of going through customs was an experience beyond anything they expected. they have lived in a police state and not matter what, we have elections and wake up the next day, to the same society, the same rules, the same EVERYTHING, just a different guy or gal at the helm. no military coups, no militia standing guard, no secret police coming to the door because you voted the wrong way! sometimes, we need to be reminded that no matter what, we are damned lucky kids!
ok, yes, you can remind me about all of this when i start complaining about the renewal of the patriot act! but no matter what, it still nothing like living in deepestdarkestafrica!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
just a quickie
1. you haven't lived until you've watched Raiders of the Lost Ark with 2 little boys (7 and 9) in FRENCH!
2. although watching a grown man aka the MITM introduce said little boys to Raiders of the Lost Ark comes a close second!
3. giving 2 little boys a football makes you a STAR! (that's a soccer ball for everyone on this side of the pond)
4. daughters seem to be spoiled everywhere!
i'll try and answer all the comments tomorrow while the family is at church. have a great weekend, my darlings! xoxoxxo
2. although watching a grown man aka the MITM introduce said little boys to Raiders of the Lost Ark comes a close second!
3. giving 2 little boys a football makes you a STAR! (that's a soccer ball for everyone on this side of the pond)
4. daughters seem to be spoiled everywhere!
i'll try and answer all the comments tomorrow while the family is at church. have a great weekend, my darlings! xoxoxxo
Friday, May 27, 2011
how come nobody told me...
that i needed to remember what little children liked?
that children ask for milk?
that these children drink powdered milk because fresh milk (outside of a hotel) is unavailable BECAUSE refrigeration isn't available on a regular basis in middle class homes?
little details we forgot
BUT, it's all good for now. fresh strawberries, some juice, an omelet, little beef sausages and biscuits while the MITM and mr. cta make a quick run to the market seem to have calmed the children and made mrs. cta feel a bit more comfortable.
and LOTS of coffee for the grownups!
i'll be adding to this today...
you guys are going on this ride with me!
Afternoon Update:
the MITM is taking the family clothes shopping. why you might ask since they just arrived and almost all of their luggage arrived. (i'm standing duty waiting for its arrival) here's what happens in most third countries: family members helped themselves to mr&mrs cta's belongings BECAUSE "hey, you're going to America what do you need this for?" as mr. cta told the MITM, they looted us! now, even with this, he and his missus brought gifts for us and the coconut krewe! (FYI: coconut krewe, if you're reading this, a package will be sent to super nana & j-man's home) another exciting thing has happened. i'll spare you the details about howi asked a former colleague to send out a press release, but on monday, mr&mrs cta are going to be interviewed by one of the local stations about their experience and why they wanted to come to america.
but seriously, we hear so many stories about illegal immigration, it will be a great chance to hear a positive story about a program the state department and immigration services handle that really works! and for me, it just seems so damn appropriate that on memorial day weekend a family that wants so much to be part of what our country stands for and what so many men and women have fought and died for, will have a chance to tell their story and to become part of the story of us.
OH MY GAWD, IS IT REALLY ONLY 20H29?
what a day for mr&mrs cta and family! the MITM took them shopping and mrs. cta was as he said "almost catatonic" by the time they left TARGET! mr. cta found heaven on earth in the camera department and the children were in shock at the sheer immensity of the store! and then they went to the grocery store...
the MITM has been in the marketplace in their hometown and trust me, just one aisle of an american grocery is a dream to an african! mr. cta was astounded that there was an entire aisle devoted to pet food! mrs. cta wanted to buy a HUGE smoked turkey just because it was there! the MITM convinced her that it would still be there tomorrow and another would be there next week...we'd bring her back to the market again. this is gonna be fun!
tomorrow cooking with gas lessons start!
i am going to sleep!!!
good night, gracie
that children ask for milk?
that these children drink powdered milk because fresh milk (outside of a hotel) is unavailable BECAUSE refrigeration isn't available on a regular basis in middle class homes?
little details we forgot
BUT, it's all good for now. fresh strawberries, some juice, an omelet, little beef sausages and biscuits while the MITM and mr. cta make a quick run to the market seem to have calmed the children and made mrs. cta feel a bit more comfortable.
and LOTS of coffee for the grownups!
i'll be adding to this today...
you guys are going on this ride with me!
Afternoon Update:
the MITM is taking the family clothes shopping. why you might ask since they just arrived and almost all of their luggage arrived. (i'm standing duty waiting for its arrival) here's what happens in most third countries: family members helped themselves to mr&mrs cta's belongings BECAUSE "hey, you're going to America what do you need this for?" as mr. cta told the MITM, they looted us! now, even with this, he and his missus brought gifts for us and the coconut krewe! (FYI: coconut krewe, if you're reading this, a package will be sent to super nana & j-man's home) another exciting thing has happened. i'll spare you the details about how
but seriously, we hear so many stories about illegal immigration, it will be a great chance to hear a positive story about a program the state department and immigration services handle that really works! and for me, it just seems so damn appropriate that on memorial day weekend a family that wants so much to be part of what our country stands for and what so many men and women have fought and died for, will have a chance to tell their story and to become part of the story of us.
OH MY GAWD, IS IT REALLY ONLY 20H29?
what a day for mr&mrs cta and family! the MITM took them shopping and mrs. cta was as he said "almost catatonic" by the time they left TARGET! mr. cta found heaven on earth in the camera department and the children were in shock at the sheer immensity of the store! and then they went to the grocery store...
the MITM has been in the marketplace in their hometown and trust me, just one aisle of an american grocery is a dream to an african! mr. cta was astounded that there was an entire aisle devoted to pet food! mrs. cta wanted to buy a HUGE smoked turkey just because it was there! the MITM convinced her that it would still be there tomorrow and another would be there next week...we'd bring her back to the market again. this is gonna be fun!
tomorrow cooking with gas lessons start!
i am going to sleep!!!
good night, gracie
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