Superfights (1995)

SOMETIMES, I WORRY that I won’t see another film worthy of Trashterpiece Theatre. But then along comes a movie like Superfights, and all is right with the world.

“Superfights,” as if I have to tell you, are a type of pro wrestling/martial arts hybrid – “where no one knows the outcome!” the announcer assures us – with Superfighters sporting gimmicky nicknames such as Budokai, Dark Cloud, and Night Stalker. Mega-fan Jack Cody (Brandon Gaines) attends every event, even teaching himself the moves he sees his favorite Superfighters perform. (Conveniently, he works in a warehouse full of mannequins, which he uses as practice dummies.)

After Jack becomes a local celebrity by beating up a trio of would-be muggers, he’s recruited by Superfights president Mr. Sawyer (Keith Vitali) to compete in the ring. Jack trains with Angel (Kelly Gallant), a freakishly muscular female Superfighter who overtly flirts with Jack but may have ulterior motives. Watch in amazement as Angel trains Jack using the latest advancements in 1995 technology, including punching at a stream of light and dodging giant phallic pipes that dart out of the walls.

Oh, I almost forgot: Mr. Sawyer’s Superfights empire might be a front for extortion, drug running, mind control, and murder.

Superfights captures the pure essence of direct-to-video, B-movie action flicks of the mid-‘90s. The B-level acting. The hokey, overly serious training montages. The meathead, be-the-best mentality of the fighters. The gratuitous violence. The melodramatic soundtrack, awash in mid-‘90s synth and squealing guitar riffs. This one’s got it all, set against the martial arts hotbed of…Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

The film also features other ridiculous moments, such as Jack getting attacked by a ninja while jogging in broad daylight – a ninja who, while fleeing, literally tells Jack to “just say no” to the “vitamins” supplied by Angel as part of Jack’s Superfighters regimen.

All that being said, the fight scenes in Superfights are in-sane. Director and fight choreographer Tony Leung gives us dozens of fights featuring rapid-fire exchanges, impressive editing, and over-exaggerated impact with blood, sweat, and spit flying everywhere. It culminates in a multi-fight finale between Cody and Sawyer that’s so amazing, I immediately replayed it once the credits started to roll.

A real-life third-degree black belt, Gaines’ role in Superfights was his first and last in films; he’s now a public speaker, rabbi, and acupuncturist living in California. Gallant, unfortunately, has had her share of run-ins with the law since Superfights, including a wrongful death lawsuit and recent arrests for DUI and probation violation.

Highly entertaining and a candidate for repeat viewing, Superfights delivers the goods in both martial arts action and cheeseballiness – rightfully earning its spot in the Trashterpiece pantheon.

(Bonus: Watch for a brief appearance by wrestling legend Rob Van Dam as a doomed Superfighter. His fight was originally supposed to be much shorter, but the filmmakers were so impressed with his physical abilities that they made his fight longer and took a full day to shoot.)

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence: The Superfights get increasingly violent, leading to bloodied faces and broken bones. Superfighters beat up citizens and two-bit hoods while collecting “protection” money. Several people are beaten to death, many with blood spurting from their mouths. A man is bloodily decapitated by a ceiling fan.
Sex/Nudity: Angel is seen briefly nude from behind as she enters a shower. Jack and Angel share a kiss wearing nothing but bathrobes. Angel makes several overt advances on Jack, with lots of grabbing and groping. Sawyer and Angel are shown getting dressed post-coitus.
Language: “A**hole,” “bulls**t,” “s**t”
Drugs: Superfighters are shown taking Sawyer’s steroid-laced, mind-controlling “vitamins.” A man snorts cocaine.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she’s the kind of person who enjoys B-movies and talking back to the screen, but doesn’t mind some violence and bloodshed thrown in the mix, Superfights could be a great film for you to share. Otherwise, check it out yourself or with some friends.

Experience the awesome Superfights trailer,

then try in vain to fight your urge to see the film:

Superfights
* Director: Tony Leung
* Screenwriter: Keith W. Strandberg
* Stars: Brandon Gaines, Feihong Yu, Keith Vitali, Kelly Gallant, Chuck Jeffreys, Cliff Lenderman, Brian Ruth, Patrick Lung-Kong, Karen Bill
* MPAA Rating: PG-13


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21 Jump Street (2012)

MOVIES BASED ON OLD TV SHOWS are always a gamble. For every successful adaption like The Fugitive, there are countless misfires and failures: Bewitched, Wild Wild West, The Avengers (no, not that one; this one), and The Dukes of Hazzard, to name a few. The challenge is whether to bring something fresh and different to the property, or be faithful to the original.

Luckily, the filmmaking team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) chose the former with 21 Jump Street, a radical and hilarious revival of the late ‘80s series about young undercover cops specializing in youth-related crimes. Here, two young policemen – nerdy Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and dumb jock Jenko (Channing Tatum) – are sent undercover as students at a local high school to bust a drug ring led by the charismatic and popular Eric (Dave Franco).

On the first day, Schmidt and Jenko accidentally get their undercover identities switched, sticking shy non-athlete Schmidt in the drama club and track team, and academically challenged Jenko in advanced chemistry. They soon find things have changed since their high school days: intellectualism, activism, and the environment are in, while bullying and mocking overachievers are out. And so begins a reversal of fortunes as Schmidt enjoys the immense popularity he never found in his high school days, while Jenko learns what it’s like to be ostracized and insulted by the “in” crowd.

But back to the funny, which 21 Jump Street delivers in spades. The riotous jokes come at a rapid pace – so quickly that you risk missing a gag because you’re still laughing at the previous one. (The two funniest scenes: Hill and Tatum trying unsuccessfully to make each other vomit after taking a drug, then later tripping on the same drug while trying to do various school activities.)

Hill and Tatum are one of the best odd-couple pairings in recent movie memory. And while Hill is funny as expected, the comedic skills of Channing Tatum are a revelation. Put this man in more comedies. After his emotionally stunted performance in The Vow, his turn in 21 Jump Street is a monumental redemption. Running closely behind in the laughs department is Ice Cube as Hill and Tatum’s hilariously profane police captain.

21 Jump Street also benefits from a supporting cast that knows comedy, including Ellie Kemper (Bridesmaids) as an overzealous, hypersexual chemistry teacher and Rob Riggle as a crass gym coach. (Also watch for cameos by original Jump Streeters Johnny Depp, Peter DeLuise, and Holly Robinson Peete.)

The laughs in 21 Jump Street take a back seat during the middle of the film to advance plot and character development, but they don’t stay dormant long. And that’s the beauty of Lord and Miller’s ability to balance hilarity with heart, profanity with personality. This is the funniest R-rated comedy since the original Hangover or Hill’s earlier hit, Superbad. See it now.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Nope. While hilarious, 21 Jump Street contains substantial drug use, brief nudity and sexual situations, and almost non-stop profanities. In addition, several people are shot (one person grossly loses his manhood), hit by cars, or blown up. Oh, and Tatum vomits on Hill. Don’t ask.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

My FilmMother and I watched 21 Jump Street together, and she laughed as much as I did. If your FilmMother’s cool with the R-rated aspects described above, I’d say this is definitely one you can share together.

"Ow, stop it – my nurple can't get any purpler!"

21 Jump Street
* Directors: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
* Screenwriter: Michael Bacall
* Stars: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle, Ice Cube, Dax Flame, Chris Parnell, Ellie Kemper
* MPAA Rating: R


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L.A. Confidential (1997)

IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU they were making a movie about police corruption in 1950s Los Angeles, starring two unknown Australian actors, and directed by the guy who did The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, would you believe it would win two Oscars and turn out to be one of the best films ever made?

Plot:
Against the background of 1950s Los Angeles, L.A. Confidential intertwines stories of police corruption, the battle for control of the L.A. underworld, a mass shooting in a late-night café, and a pimp who has his prostitutes surgically altered to look like famous Hollywood starlets.

Critique:

It shouldn’t have worked. A period piece, two virtually unknown foreigners as the leads, and half a dozen plotlines running concurrently over a span of nearly two and a half hours. Yet L.A. Confidential is one of those rare instances when all the elements come together to create, without hyperbole, a modern masterpiece.

From the performances of the actors (perfectly cast by the legendary Mali Finn), to director Curtis Hanson’s vision of the L.A. of yesteryear (he’s a lifelong Angelino), to the Oscar-winning script by Hanson and Brian Helgeland (brilliantly pared down and adapted from James Ellroy’s mammoth book), to the infectious soundtrack (mixing standards and Jerry Goldsmith’s score), to Ruth Myers’ costume design, all the pieces of L.A. Confidential connect masterfully into one perfect, ambitious puzzle.

In terms of the performances: Yes, Kim Basinger’s Oscar-winning performance as high-end call girl Lynn Bracken is good and worthy of recognition, but it’s hardly the best performance. It doesn’t even come in second or third. She’s trumped by a top-tier ensemble cast that includes:

• Russell Crowe, whose brutish Bud White has a deep-rooted issue with criminals who abuse women
• Guy Pearce as clean-cut Edmund Exley, who won’t step outside the law to deliver justice, but learns how to work the system
• James Cromwell as police captain Dudley Smith, who questions Exley’s abilities to go above the law to stop criminals and get confessions
• Kevin Spacey as slick detective Jack Vincennes, who thoroughly enjoys his gig as advisor on Badge of Honor, the hottest cop show on TV
• Danny DeVito as Sid Hudgens, publisher of the scandal magazine Hush-Hush, who’s always looking for an angle or scoop
• David Straithairn as Pierce M. Patchett, a respected businessman and philanthropist who also employs prostitutes who are “cut” to look like movie stars

With L.A. Confidential, Hanson perfectly captures the dichotomy of Los Angeles that exists to this day: The idea of image versus reality. The glitter and fame of Hollywood that masks the city’s seedy, violent underbelly. And a supposedly honorable police force that’s mired in corruption, racism, and brutality. (The fact that Hanson opens and closes the film with Johnny Mercer’s “Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive” is no accident.) It’s a world where polar opposites join forces to help each other’s cases and uncover awful truths – and where one cop sworn to serve and protect turns out to be a callous, cold-hearted criminal behind the very crimes and corruption our anti-heroes are investigating. It all culminates in a final shootout that’s a master class in choreography and editing.

L.A. Confidential is one of those films that requires a second viewing to catch everything you missed, but it’s hardly a chore to do so. Character nuances become more noticeable, the narration and multiple storylines flow together better, and terrific instances of foreshadowing are much more appreciated.

Kevin Spacey has said that if L.A. Confidential hadn’t been released the same year as Titanic, it would have won the Oscar for Best Picture. Off the record, and on the QT: He’s absolutely right.

Rating:
Is it suitable for your kids?

Despite being set in a time when movies were largely free of inappropriate material, L.A. Confidential has plenty of content not meant for all audiences. There are scenes of brief nudity, discussions of drug use, graphically violent footage of mob hits, and more than a dozen people dying by bloody shootings. There’s also frequent adult language, plus occasional glances at vintage nudie and S&M magazines. High school kids and older is probably the benchmark to use when deciding if L.A. Confidential is suitable for your kids.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Factoring in its subject matter, nearly all-male cast, and police procedural setting, I’d gamble that L.A. Confidential is more for dads. In fact, it should be required viewing for all dads who love movies.


L.A. Confidential
* Director: Curtis Hanson
* Screenwriters: Curtis Hanson and Brian Helgeland
* Stars: Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kevin Spacey, Kim Basinger, Danny DeVito, James Cromwell
* MPAA Rating: R


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A Force of One (1979)

ERNEST TIDYMAN.

That name ring a bell?

No? Okay, how about these names:

The French Connection.
Shaft.
High Plains Drifter.

Ernest Tidyman wrote all three of those screenplays (and won the Oscar for French Connection). He also wrote the Shaft book series as well as several other novels before his death in 1984.

Based on that pedigree, and the fact that High Plains Drifter is one of my all-time favorites, I searched for more films written by Tidyman. Unfortunately, he had a rather limited screenwriting career, and only a fraction of his films are available for home viewing.

Still, one of Tidyman’s credits sticks out in his filmography, compared to the classics mentioned earlier. Of all things, it’s a Chuck Norris movie: 1979’s A Force of One.

Plot:

Santa Monica, California: It’s Christmastime, and someone is killing narcotics detectives by using martial arts. Stumped, the Santa Monica police enlist the help of champion kickboxer, martial arts instructor, and Vietnam vet Matt Logan (Chuck Norris) – who helps train the detectives in martial arts and offers some insight to help determine potential suspects behind the killings.

Critique:

In A Force of One’s DVD extras, director Paul Aaron says he did an uncredited rewrite of the script to make it “fit Chuck more” (never once mentioning Tidyman by name). That explains a lot, since I can’t imagine Tidyman was the author behind such a lackluster film.

The dialogue is forgettable and by-the-numbers, accompanied by a plot, cinematography, and soundtrack that make the film feel like a glorified episode of any given cop or detective drama from the ‘70s. Some of the scenes even seem ad-libbed, and not in a good way.

In addition to the weak script, there’s substandard acting by nearly everyone involved – including Jennifer O’Neill, Clu Gulager, Ron “Superfly” O’Neal, and Bill “Superfoot” Wallace.

Sadly and perhaps ironically for a Chuck Norris film, the martial arts sequences are sparse. Scenes of Norris handing out ass-whoopings outside of training and kickboxing matches are limited – which leaves him lots of time to dole out dialogue in his trademark monotone delivery. The action sequences that do take place are dated and bland, with many of the martial arts fights shot in slo-mo, accompanied by cheesy sound effects.

I’m hoping that A Force of One was either a quick paycheck movie for Tidyman to help him pursue other (read: better) creative endeavors, or that Aaron’s rewrite eliminated nearly all of Tidyman’s dialogue. Because what’s left is a ponderous, underwhelming film.

Tidbits:
* Tidyman is one of the few white people to win an NAACP Image Award, an honor given to him for creating the Shaft books.
* Norris’ opponent for his big fight in the finale, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace, was also John Belushi’s bodyguard. It was Wallace who found Belushi dead from a drug overdose.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

A Force of One is rated PG. It features several bloodless killings, mostly by the breaking of necks. There are scenes of drug dealing and drug use, including men snorting cocaine and a girl with track marks on her arm. There are also a few mild profanities.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Highly doubtful. And even if she is a Chuck Norris fan, he’s made much better films than this (comparatively speaking).

Kicked him so hard, he made him blurry.

A Force of One
* Director: Paul Aaron
* Screenwriter: Ernest Tidyman
* Stars: Chuck Norris, Jennifer O’Neill, Clu Gulager, Ron O’Neal, Bill Wallace
* MPAA Rating: PG



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Moonlight (2002)

AH, YOUNG LOVE. I remember my early days of pubescence: Meeting new girls, the awkward conversations, smuggling drugs in my lower intestine…wait, what?

Plot:
12-year-old Claire (Laurien Van den Broeck) discovers a wounded, bleeding boy (Hunter Bussemaker) in her family’s garden shed. The boy was serving as a mule for drug runners, but was shot and left for dead when he didn’t “deliver” all of their contraband. Claire, who is going through puberty and discovering the appeal of boys, keeps him a secret from her parents (Johan Leysen and Jemma Redgrave) and nurses him back to health. One day, while changing his soiled drawers (stay with me), she discovers little baggies in his stool – the remaining contraband the dealers wanted before they shot him. When the drug runners realize he’s still alive (and may still have the rest of their stash), what lengths will Claire go to protect him?

Critique:

Filmed in the small European country of Luxembourg with an English-speaking cast, Moonlight is an atmospheric tale of young, awkward love between a strong girl and a shy boy, featuring beautiful cinematography by Guido van Gennep (his first feature) and a bare, haunting score by Fons Merkies. In many ways, Moonlight feels like a prototype for Let The Right One In (minus the vampire angle, though blood plays a significant role in both).

Van den Broeck carries the film exceptionally well, showing acting chops well beyond her years (she was just 13 when Moonlight was filmed) – using her commanding eyes to convey emotion and “speak” for silent, extended passages of the film.

A couple of nits: There’s a bleeding parallel between Claire and the boy (her menstruation, his wounds) that never fully comes together. And the third act tapers to an ending that’s a bit too artsy and nihilistic compared to what preceded it.

Moonlight won a handful of awards, either for Van den Broeck’s performance or the direction of Paula Van der Oest. It’s an overlooked little film if you’re searching for something interesting, intriguing, or off the beaten path.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Van der Oest must have an obsession with bodily fluids, because Moonlight has at least one graphic scene each of menstrual blood, bowel movements, urination, and vomiting. Also, the film may be a bit too “European” for some viewers’ tastes: There’s drinking, smoking, and drug-taking by Claire and the boy, and Van den Broeck is briefly topless in a sex scene with him. In terms of violence: The drug dealers beat and stab one of their own to death, Claire rips an earring off a man who gave her and the boy a ride, someone is killed with a pair of scissors to the throat, a dog is killed, and there’s an attempted rape.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

I honestly don’t know. It probably depends on her tastes. If you think she’d like an added dimension of vampires, you both might be rewarded more with the similarly-themed Let The Right One In.

There…there’s where we left the better ending.

Moonlight
* Director: Paula Van der Oest
* Screenwriter: Carel Donck
* Stars: Laurien Van den Broeck, Hunter Bussemaker, Andrew Howard, Johan Leysen, Jemma Redgrave
* MPAA Rating: N/A



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