Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang ( review with spoilers )

The end of the series. The end of the universe. The end of my increasingly late reviews. ( For now. )

Steven Moffat draws all the strands of his complex arc plot together ( well, most of them ) and delivers a dazzling, exciting and emotional finale. Two episodes that give the loyal viewers what they deserve: a terrifying threat to the universe, some truly epic visuals, moments of high drama for the regular cast, a satisfyingly complex story, and River Song in very tight leggings.

Via an amusingly absurd, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey message from the dawn of the universe, the Doctor and Amy are drawn to Roman-conquest era Britain, and to the Pandorica itself, buried under Stonehenge. After some wonderful moments which reference Indiana Jones ( the Pandorica's chamber ) and The Thing ( ancient Cyber-technology on the attack! ) we discover that the Doc's been tricked by a Secret Society Of Who Villains into a trap from which he can never escape, fashioned from Amy's memories. Poor old Rory, who has "died" a few times already, is brought back for a touching reunion, only to be revealed as a deep-cover Auton who kills Amy just as she remembers him. The Doctor is dragged into the Pandorica, as the assembled hordes of Daleks, Cybermen, Judoon, etc. etc. look smugly on, ignoring his cries that only he can save the universe from non-existence. The only person who could possibly save the day is River, but she's trapped in the Doc's Tardis, just as it explodes. So, basically.....

end of the universe.....

..... not quite. The second part of the story is less of a sugar-rush of huge moments, but smaller and more personal in scale. As far as any story about the death of the universe and a second Big Bang could be called "smaller scale".

The universe has gone. All that remains is the Earth, a small dot in the infinite darkness. Young Amelia Pond spends a Night At The Museum, where she discovers fossilised Daleks and the legendary Pandorica. Which opens to reveal..... Amy Pond?

"OK kid, this is where it gets complicated."

The Doctor has escaped from the Pandorica with the help of Plastic Rory, young Amelia and a total disregard for the laws of cause and effect, which can obviously only be bypassed when the timelines are crashing, the universe is shrinking, and the writer has a deadline to meet. There's also a mop, a soft drink and a fez involved ( a fez? ) but thinking about all that just gives me a headache.

The Doctor plans to reboot the universe by using the Pandorica's "Restoration Field", powered by that exploding Tardis. But first he has to get the time-loop-trapped River out of said blue box, which is exploding. In space. Oh yeah, and the Restoration Field has a habit of rebooting fossilised Daleks too, which doesn't help. Of course the Doctor manages to save the universe and set it back on track, but at the cost of deleting himself from history. He must stay behind that bloody crack in time for it all to work. ( Sorry about that "bloody crack" phrase. Ouch! )

Matt Smith has some truly wonderful scenes as the Doctor sees his life rewinding when the timelines are reconfigured. He tells young Amelia a bedtime story about the Raggedy Doctor, "the daft old man who stole a magic box".

"When you wake up you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. That's OK - we're all stories in the end."

We finally get to see Amy and Rory's wedding. All her family and friends are there, yet someone's missing. With a little help from River's Diary ( Spoilers! ) Amy remembers who ( or Who ) and calls him back to reality, for a spot of post-wedding dad-dancing. And the fairytale that is Season Five / Thirty-One / Fnarg comes to an end with a fairytale happy ending: the prince and princess say "Goodbye" to their old lives and run away with the strangely young-looking old wizard, for more adventures in ( and out of ) his magic box.

Five Bow Ties Out Of Five.

or

Five Fezes out of Five. ( "Fezes?" What is the plural of "fez"? )

Doctor Who: The Lodger ( review with spoilers )

This week's incredibly late Doctor Who review asks the question "Would you want this oddball as your room-mate?"

He thinks football is played with sticks, has an inappropriate penchant for air-kissing, carries wads of £20 notes in a carrier-bag and builds strange "art installations" in his bedroom. He doesn't even have a real name - just "the Doctor" - and introduces himself as

"Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur. But frankly I'm an absolute dream."

Just don't call him the rot-meister.....

Gareth Roberts' newest Who confection is a fun, if lightweight, episode which revolves around a sweet love story between Craig ( a surprisingly likeable James Corden ) and Sophie ( the quirkily lovely Daisy Haggard ) , two unfulfilled twenty-somethings who find that their lack of direction isn't as scary as "some bloke" in the flat above. He turns out to be the latest "automatic alien computer-programme which routinely kills humans" and is a relatively lame menace, assisted only by some Psycho-esque music and a spooky silhouette.

This story is the most "domestic" Who episode we've seen since Season Two's Fear Her, but is much better than that dreary non-event. Roberts' dialogue is reliably funny, the 3 lead characters are warm and believable, and we get to see the Blue Peter competition winner's alternative Tardis. Not sure about all the head-butting though.....

Matt Smith's Doctor is as fantastic as usual: cooking Craig the best omelette ever, rewiring the flat while Craig and Sophie try to "destroy their friendship", showing off his football skills, talking to cats, and looking childishly overjoyed at the prospect of living a normal life. Unfortunately, Amy's sidelined in this episode - reduced to stumbling around the time-loop-locked Tardis and shouting for the Doctor. This will obviously be rectified next Saturday when the season-long arc plot ( hopefully ) pays off, and the Pandorica opens.....

Three Out of Five Bow Ties.

Doctor Who: Vincent And The Doctor ( review with spoilers )

Yet another unfashionably late mini-review.....

"It seems to me that there's so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe, if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of."

The Doctor and Amy take a trip back in time to 19th century Provence, where they meet yokels with improbable West Country accents, an invisible monster with an improbable haircut, and the world's greatest painter with an improbable Scottish accent. So is the episode any good? Probably.....

I'm just messing with you :-)

Vincent And The Doctor is a beautifully shot, wonderfully acted and emotionally draining episode. The chemistry between the three leading actors is a joy to behold, with Tony Curran's performance as vibrant but vulnerable Vincent a definite series highlight. The Croatian backdrops are exquisite, all cornfields and orange groves and swirling Van Gogh skies. While not being a fan of Richard Curtis' work over the last decade or so, I have to admit the script is fantastic - witty and scary and not afraid to confront the very adult theme of manic depression: brave indeed for a "kids' show".

Just time for two more things: the mention of poor old Rory was subtle and sad, and Bill Nighy gave us a masterclass in how to turn a cameo appearance into a showstopper.

Five Out Of Five Bow Ties. ( "Bow ties are cool." )

Doctor Who: Cold Blood ( review with spoilers )

Leapin' lizards - Just a mini-review this week, sorry. Reality intrudes yet again, leaving me with little time for blogging. And even less time to review a show about time-travellers. Excuse me, I think I just stepped in some irony, don't want to get it on the carpet.....

So, Cold Blood, part two of Chris Chibnall's Silurian morality tale. Metaphors abound as the lizard-men "illegal immigrants" mass at our world's ( underground ) border, demanding their share of the surface. While the good Doctor tries to broker a peace deal, angry and frightened mother Ambrose kills lizard-warrior-woman Alaya, pushing the Silurians towards total war.....

A fine ending to the story, again very trad Who, but very intelligent and moral, with all the characters acting for what they think are the best reasons, not just as "goodies" and "baddies": I think the Silurians' creator, Malcolm Hulke, would approve. I love the scenes in the Silurian city, but then I'm a sucker for secret underground bases and cities in fantastic fiction, and often in my dreams too. And just when we think the story is over, invasion averted, humans and Silurians at peace ( for the next 1000 years, at least ), there's a sting in the tail... sorry, "tale".....

Poor Rory. He didn't understand much of what was going on, but he was honest and decent; he wanted to help people and he wanted the love of a beautiful red-head. What he got was death at the hands of homo reptilia and the final indignity of being wiped from existence by that pesky Crack in time. Rory now never lived and even Amy has forgotten him. But the Doctor remembers. And, as he said, "Time can be re-written", so.....

who knows?

Maybe we'll see him again when the Pandorica opens.

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties.

Doctor Who: The Hungry Earth ( review with spoilers )

"Dear Doctor Who,

"When I grow up I want to write for your telly show. I've got a great idea for a story. It's set in a Welsh village ( like The One With The Maggots ) where people are drilling down into the earth ( like The One With The Drilling Project ). The village is suddenly surrounded by an invisible wall ( like The One With The Horned Demon ) and monsters come up out of caves ( like The One With The Cave Monsters ). Hope you like my idea! See you next Saturday,

Christopher Chibnall ( Age 8 and 1/2 ) "

The Hungry Earth does seem at times to be one big love-letter to early 1970s Doctor Who. And that's fine by me!

"We're trapped and something's burrowing towards the surface....."

The Doctor promises Amy and Rory a trip to sunny Rio ( probably feeling guilty that his evil alter-ego trapped them all in a frozen Tardis last week ) but, of course, it all goes pear-shaped and they end up in a Welsh village in 2020, where a "big mining thing" is drilling 21km into the Earth's crust. However, something is stirring far beneath the surface, and the Tardis Trio and the residents of Cwmtaff ( how Welsh is that name? ) find themselves under attack from the Silurians, led by tough lizard chick Alaya. She's come to kick ass and ( presumably ) eat flies.....

After last week's surreal shenanigans, this episode is the most traditional Who story we've seen in a long time: a small community is under siege by strange creatures, one companion is kidnapped, the other says "What's happening?" and "I don't understand!" ( a lot ), the Doctor sits down for a debate with his enemy, and the Tardis is out of control as and when the plot demands. But don't get me wrong - these are the kind of elements that make Doctor Who the show it is and always has been: a fun adventure series for kids and adults alike, often spooky, often thought-provoking, but never too serious for too long.

And there's a lot to love in this episode. The chemistry between Matt Smith and Meera Syal, as project boss Nasreen, is wonderful to behold - with Nasreen's pinging of the Doc's braces being a laugh-out-loud moment. The design work on the Silurian warrior and her briefly-glimpsed underground city is beautiful, promising so much more next week. The scenes in the darkened churchyard are atmospheric, recalling memories of The Daemons and The Curse Of Fenric for us old-timers. And I'll have to mention Matt Smith again: he really is fantastic in this episode, by turns boyish, steely, distracted and charming. And his scenes with young Samuel Davies ( as Elliot ) are filled with the childlike sense of wonder Steven Moffat has brought to this new Who era. Great stuff! I'm looking forward to next week's conclusion, which promises to be bigger and bolder in scale, with the Silurians ( or homo reptilia ) on the warpath. Hopefully Amy will have more to do than be a ( gorgeous ) damsel in distress, and hopefully the hot- weather-induced ratings dip will turn around :-(

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties. ( or Welsh Cakes. )

Doctor Who: Amy's Choice ( review with spoilers )

And when the Doctor wakes up, all his friends wake up too.....

This week the Tardis Trio find themselves in a world where they can't tell dreams from reality, where nothing is what it seems and menace lurks behind the most harmless of facades. Sort of how I feel every Monday morning.

The Doctor: "Listen to me. Trust nothing. From now on, trust nothing you see, hear or feel!"

The Doctor is visiting Amy and Rory, five years after they left the Tardis. The couple are living in a rural idyll, Amy is pregnant and baking cakes, Rory is now a doctor and has grown a rather disturbing ponytail. But then they wake up in the Tardis and it was all a dream. Or was it? They find themselves alternating behind the two realities, unsure which is real, all at the whim of this strange chap.....

The Dream Lord.

Described by Simon Nye ( this episode's writer ) as "a relentless piss-taker", the Dream Lord delights in confusing and upsetting our heroes, as well as putting their lives in danger: in one reality they face an army of aliens hiding inside the bodies of pensioners, in the other the Tardis is dead and drifting towards a sub-zero fate within minutes.

The Dream Lord: "If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a tawdry quirk shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a First Year fashion student."

I've always been a sucker for stories like this, from the fragile realities of Christopher Priest's novels to the Hollywood surrealism of Vanilla Sky ( hey, I liked it! ) to any number of cheapo horror films dabbling in paranoia and delusions. Amy's Choice isn't exactly a classic of this sub-genre but there are some lovely, surreal touches throughout: the sound of birdsong in the Tardis signifying another change in realities, Rory's "death", the army of pensioners assaulting the country cottage, "There is an eye in her mouth!", the Tardis turning distinctly frosty.

The three lead actors and Toby Jones as the Dream Lord all give great performances, ranging from subtle to broad as and when required. Simon Nye's script isn't the full-on comedy many expected from the creator of Men Behaving Badly, but it has its moments - "If we're going to die, let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band" being the killer line. So, a fine episode, obviously an effects-lite breather between bigger-budgeted stories, with plenty of twists and turns, and a revelation for Amy - her Choice is Rory.

Three And A Half Bow Ties out of Five.

The Doctor: "Something here doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick....."

Doctor Who: The Vampires Of Venice ( review with spoilers )

"Blimey, fish from space have never been so..... buxom."

After the widescreen epic that was the last two-parter, this week's trip in the Tardis is a lighter story, almost a "romp" as nobody but journalists would say, which still finds room for bloodied fangs and human fish-bait.

"Any where you want, any time you want. One condition: it has to be amazing!"

The Doctor, concerned at Amy's recent "Do you fancy a shag?" moment, whisks her and dopey boyfriend Rory back to sixteenth-century Venice, in the hopes of rekindling their romance. Here, the new Tardis team discover the exclusive girls' school run by Signora Calvierri is a front for vampiric aliens who plan to sink Venice and populate the Med with their rejuvenated aquatic race. In an attempt to rescue a Venetian boat-builder's imprisoned daughter, Amy is fanged by vamps, Rory takes on a sword-wielding alien, armed only with a broom, and the Doctor probably wishes he'd taken them to Butlin's instead.....

As usual with single-episode Who, the story zips along without much regard for logic, taking many narrative short-cuts and dodging plot-holes as it goes. The boat-builder and his daughter are cyphers and the aliens' physiology is suspect. And, it has to be said, the climax involving the Doctor climbing a tower to dismantle some alien tech is far too familiar for anyone who's watched The Idiot's Lantern or Evolution Of The Daleks.

However, apart from a few dodgy CGI moments, the whole thing looks fantastic, with the Croatian city of Trogir standing in handsomely for Venice. The beautiful backdrop of alleyways, arches, palaces and courtyards provides a perfect setting for the Hammer-horror pastiche of torch-wielding heroes and "pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight". And the star-turn this week comes from Helen McCrory, regal and commanding but ultimately tragic as the guardian of a dying race, who shares some wonderful scenes with Matt Smith.

"One city to save an entire species. Was that so much to ask?"

And the Crack In Time arc makes its obligatory appearance as Signora Calvierri talks of the last days of her planet, Saturnyne:

"There were cracks. Through some we saw silence and the end of all things."

So, all in all, a fun episode, rating a good Three-And-A-Half Bow Ties.

Doctor Who: Flesh And Stone ( review with spoilers and controversy )

"A forest in a bottle on a spaceship in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond?"

Poor Amy. She might be impressed by that forest/spaceship/maze combo, but presumably not by having a Weeping Angel lodging in her mind and having to stumble through an army of said Angels with her eyes closed. All in a day's work for a Doctor Who companion.....

The Doctor and co. have escaped from last week's cliffhanger with the aid of the Byzantium's still-functioning artificial gravity ( love that old SF impossibility! ) and find themselves inside the crippled Starliner, with the Angels close behind. The first scenes of the episode bristle with tension as the desperate band of clerics and time-travellers try to penetrate the ship's security systems and escape the rapidly advancing and strengthening Angels.

Bishop: This whole place is a death-trap!

Doctor: No, it's a timebomb. Well, it's a death-trap and a timebomb..... and now it's a dead-end. Nobody panic.

Even when they find their way to the heart of the ship the crisis doesn't let up: the Angel in Amy's mind forces her to count down to her own imminent death..... for fun, that pesky Crack In Time makes an unwelcome reappearance, and the Doctor's crew have to navigate through the ship's Angel-haunted "oxygen factory" to safety.

This episode is a spell-binding exercise in tension and atmosphere, a worthy successor to Steven Moffatt's previous spine-chillers like The Empty Child and Blink. And there are so many great moments: the shoot-out in the corridor, the Angels laughing and ( gulp! ) moving, the Doctor's tender moment with Amy in the forest, "Something I've... missed", Father Octavian's moving and defiant final words, the Angels forgetting the gravity of the situation, the list just goes on.

For me the best scenes are the ones set in the forest. ( Filmed in Puzzle Wood, Coleford, in my home county of Gloucestershire, fact fans! ) Director Adam Smith brings us more of that fairytale quality with which he imbued The Eleventh Hour, and the performances of Matt Smith, Karen Gillan and Iain Glenn are extraordinary. This two-parter has been one of the best Doctor Who stories since Rusty Davies brought the series back 5 years ago. And potentially one of the most controversial scenes in the show's history is saved until the last moments.....

Poor Amy wanted to see an alien planet, which she did, but the price was being terrified, mentally scarred and even bruised from climbing out of a dead starship. So she asks to be taken home where, five minutes after she originally left in the Tardis, on the eve of her wedding, Amy decides she wants something more than adventure and travel from the Doctor. She wants some Time Lord TLC. In a funny, but startlingly frank ( for Doctor Who ) scene, Amy tries to entice the Doctor into her bed. He, of course, is having none of this and decides she needs to get her priorities right. Cue the "Next Time" trailer, showing the Doc whisking Amy and almost-forgotten boyfriend Rory off to sixteenth-century Venice for a romantic date. With added vampires.

This scene has already caused a ( mild ) uproar amongst the Daily-Mail reading set who don't think such a thing as ( whisper it ) s...e...x should even be hinted at in a supposed "children's show". My 14-year old daughter Sophie came over all Mary Whitehouse-prudish and said this scene was WRONG and STUPID. She's not been impressed with this new series and the fact that Amy is now officially a "slut" ( her words ) is just the icing on the cake. To carry on the food-based metaphors I think it's just a storm in a teacup but we'll have to see what happens next.....

Doctor Who: The Time Of Angels ( review with spoilers )

River's Back! ( You can't beat the old jokes. )

And so are these guys:

It starts with a message, found in the Delirium Archive by the Doctor and Amy; a twelve-thousand-year-old distress signal, written in Old High Gallifreyan, the lost language of the Time Lords:

Doctor: There were days, there were many days, when these words could burn stars, and raise up empires, and topple gods.....

Amy: What does it say?

Doctor: "Hello sweetie....."

Aaaand we're off and running. Before we have time to er, blink, the Doc and Amy have rescued the enigmatic River Song ( who else? ) from explosive decompression, chased down a crashed spaceship, hooked up with some paramilitary priests and joined an expedition into a "Maze Of The Dead", all in a day's work!

But the main thing on Amy's mind seems to be the Doctor's marital status:

Doctor: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent lifeform evolution has ever produced and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage and I'm supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch, and assuming I survive the radiation long enough, and assuming the whole ship doesn't explode in my face, do something incredibly clever which I haven't actually thought of yet. That's my day, that's what I'm up to. Any questions?

Amy: Is River Song your wife?

The Doctor/River relationship is the emotional heart of this story, but wrapped around it is one of the scariest, and strangely most old-school, Doctor Who adventures for years. Steven Moffat has said that if Blink was Aliens ( you know, face-huggers, xenomorphs, claustrophobia ) then this story is Aliens ( more action, more aliens, tough guys with guns ) and the comparison is very apt. The whole look of the episode is epic in scale, from the crashed Byzantium to the many-layered Maze Of The Dead, to River's outrageous airlock escape. But there's still time for a very creepy, small-scale scene with Amy trapped in the Clerics' drop-ship with a Ringu-like "haunted" video tape of an Angel. A video tape that starts to come to life.....

Moffatt ratchets up the tension as the Doctor and co. penetrate further into the labyrinth under the wrecked ship, only to find they are surrounded by hundreds of Weeping Angels. And the lights are going out. Brrr!! The cliffhanger is a masterpiece of script, music, and acting by Matt Smith. ( And don't forget, this is actually the first episode the new team filmed last Summer - and Smith nailed the part from day one! )

The only problem comes right at the last minute when another old nemesis of the Doctor's literally pops up to cause trouble: Graham Norton! Or, to be accurate, an animated Graham Norton ident, trailing the following episode of Andrew Lloyd Webber's latest self-promotion-fest. Aaaaarrrggghhh!!! Thanks, BBC! An object lesson in how to sabotage one of your own programmes and lose the audience's good will. Apparently the corporation received over 6000 complaints for this. What's the matter with people - don't they like being treated like idiots? Anyway, I'll leave you with the Doctor's soon-to-be-classic speech from the cliffhanger:

Doctor: Didn't anyone ever tell you - there's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continuing existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever, put in a trap.....

Bob: And what would that be sir?

Doctor: .....Me.

Oh, and Mickey? Five out of Five Bow Ties :-)

Doctor Who: Victory Of The Daleks ( review with spoilers )

Dalek: "You are the Doctor. You must be exterminated!"

The Doctor: "Don't mess with me, sweetheart!"

So, this week it's the resurrection of the Daleks ( where have I heard that before? ) in Mark Gatiss' s "Bank Holiday war movie in 45 minutes". The Doctor and Amy are summoned by Winston Churchill ( a very jowly Ian McNeice ) to the cabinet War Rooms at the height of the Blitz. Here ol' bulldog-features unveils Britain's new secret weapon, the Bracewell Ironside, a strangely familiar, khaki-clad metal pepperpot. Of course, it's a Dalek and the Doctor has to convince Churchill that his new ally is really humanity's biggest enemy..... after Mr. A. Hitler that is.

The episode's early scenes are spookily atmospheric with the servile Daleks gliding around the War Rooms, while the Doctor looks on, waiting for the opportunity to "out" them as evil space-fascists. Matt Smith is convincingly worried and rattled by the Daleks' presence until he can't stand any more and literally throws a spanner in the works.

"You! Are! My! Enemy! And I am yours! You are everything I despise, the worst thing in all creation. I have defeated you time and time again. I've defeated you: I sent you back into the Void; I saved the whole of reality from you! I am the Doctor and you are the Daleks!"

Unfortunately, after this classic Doctor/Dalek confrontation, the episode goes a bit off the boil. Like Gatiss's last Who effort, The Idiot's Lantern, all the elements of a good story are present but they don't seem properly developed. The revelation of Bracewell's identity is too much of a cliche; the Spitfires-in-space idea is a wonderfully bonkers and typically Doctor Who concept, but the way it's set up is a gaping chasm of implausibility; Amy is sidelined for too much of the story and, critically, so is the rather caricatured Churchill.

And then we come to Daleks: The Next Generation.....

As the new, Technicolor Daleks roll off their production line, it becomes clear that this whole episode exists just to introduce a new Dalek race for the Doc to fight, to basically push the Reset button to pre-Time War days. And whereas the 2005-model Dalek was mostly faithful to the classic design, except for a few tweaks to make it seem more solid and menacing, the 2010-plate Skaro mutant is a whole new tincan. They now come in a range of colours ( fantabulosa! ) and are much chunkier, with a tank-like shape and deeper bases. In fact, a kind of cross between the Peter Cushing movie versions and the "Remembrance" Special Weapons Dalek. Respect to the production team for having the Dalek-balls to redesign such an iconic image, but they do seem plastic-y and more toy-friendly. I'm not sure if I like 'em or not: I'll have to sleep on it. ( That said, we have been amazed for years that Lego have never come out with a Doctor Who range of toys. These new Daleks seem custom-made for the Danish plastic brick empire. James would certainly love it! )

All in all, I'd give the episode 3 or maybe 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. If I did star ratings.
( Should I do star ratings? All the genre mags seem obsessed with them. ) There were some lovely moments in this episode - Churchill picking the Doctor's pocket for the Tardis key, the haunted look in Matt Smith's eyes as he faced the triumphant Daleks, that wonderful bit ( or bite ) with the Jammie Dodger - but I wouldn't call it a real "Victory". And, sadly, the ratings would also support that. To end on a positive note, the Amy Pond mystery deepens: why is she unaware of the Daleks?

"They invaded your world, remember. Planets in the sky - you don't forget that. Amy..... tell me you remember the Daleks....."

Doctor Who: The Beast Below ( review with spoilers )

"Life on a giant starship: back to basics - bicycles, washing-lines, wind-up streetlamps. But look closer - secrets in shadows, lives led in fear, a society bent out of shape, on the brink of collapse, a police state!"

The Beast Below, the second episode of the Matt Smith / Steven Moffat Doctor Who, is a surreal, strange sort of, er, beast. The idea of the Doctor finding himself in a claustrophobic, repressive microcosm of Great Britain and bringing down the status quo in the space of one day could easily have come from Sylvester McCoy's time. And so could some of the dialogue: "Hold tight - we're bringing down the government!" But there are also parallels with another 2nd episode: Chris Eccleston's The End Of The World - the new companion's first trip through time is to a vast construct in space after Earth has been deserted, due to the Sun roasting the planet; the companion begins to understand the Time Lord's burden as he talks about his dead race; the Doctor and the companion share a moment by a huge picture-window that looks out on the stars; a female aristocrat makes a sacrifice to help save the day. So, many familiar elements, but the story also has the Grand Moff's own twist, his "fairy tales with fangs" approach:

For starters, Starship UK is a wonderful conceit: the whole of Great Britain ( well, minus Scotland ) bolted together into one giant, bustling, clanging starship, drifting through the universe, looking for a new home. The sinister Smilers ( see above ) are purpose-built to creep out the kiddies with their painted-on smiles and revolving heads that reveal their frowning, snarling other sides.

The Starwhale concept is almost a melancholy, heart-rending take on the Discworld's Great A'Tuin and makes for a poignant climax to the story. As well as some extremely gross humour and glorious Moffat dialogue:

Amy: "This whole place is a mouth? We're in a mouth?!"

The Doctor: "Yes yes yes! But on the plus side - roomy!"

Also in keeping with fairy tales we see children being an integral part of the story, and one of those classic fairy tale characters, the queen in disguise, walking her subjects' streets in a hood and a mask:

"I'm the bloody Queen, mate. Basically, I rule!"

The story also serves to bring the Doctor and Amy closer together. She makes a deadly mistake and takes her position as companion for granted. The Doctor loses his temper ( good to see Smith "do" anger ) and threatens to take her home. Quick-thinking Amy redeems herself by sussing out the mystery at the heart of Starship UK, saving both the human population and the Starwhale, and going on to show the Doctor that she is beginning to understand him and they can work well together. They'll need to, 'cos next week they're up against the Daleks.....

Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour ( review with added spoilers )

"An alien convict is hiding in your spare room, disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house. Any questions?"

The Eleventh Hour is the story of Amelia ( later Amy ) Pond, the girl who waited, and the Raggedy Doctor who returned to save her. It's Steven Moffat's regenerated Doctor Who: new leading actors, new title sequence and theme music, new Tardis, new bow tie, new adventures in time and space.

The Atraxi: "You are not of this world!"

The Doctor: "No, but I've put a lot of work into it..."

First things first ( and that's a really dumb phrase when you think about it ) - the 11th Doctor is here! Matt Smith is a delight as the bonkers, uncoordinated, reckless new incarnation of our favourite Time Lord. He absolutely nails the part in his first appearance, equally at home sharing fish fingers and custard with young Amelia, or facing down an alien eye-in-the-sky, or racing around an English village like a demented giraffe. No doubt his take on the Doc will be plagued with the familiar whinges for a while - "he's too young", "he looks weird", "he's not David Tennant" - but for me at least he da man! And that scene on the rooftop, where the multi-tasking Doctor chooses his new look, frightens away scary alien bounty hunters and reminds us of past glories, all at the same time, is sure to go down in Who-history as a classic moment.

OK, what else?

The good: I love the new Tardis interior, with its Jules Verne meets Willy Wonka vibe; the hints of things to come - the Pandorica, "Silence will fall...", the cracks in reality - are tantalising; the whole fairy-tale look of the show, especially night-time scenes, is wonderful - as in the actual sense of wonder - something lacking on our telly screens of late; the new title sequence, while not as innovative as I might have hoped, is a perfect introduction to the show, and I definitely prefer the new logo to the old.

However, that brings us to.....

The not-so-good: The revamped theme music is a let-down - for the first few bars the music is unrecognisable, but when the familiar refrain kicks in it seems too bland, all the mystery drained from it. Hopefully it'll grow on me.

The villain of the piece, Prisoner Zero, is fine in shape-shifting, human-imitating mode ( especially as played by the wonderful but under-used Olivia Colman ) but is a dud in ropy CGI snake-thing mode. Shades of the Mara!

But these are minor quibbles. The episode was great fun and a fine introduction to the new team. Speaking of which, and last but not least ( another dumb phrase! ) we come to:

The Doctor: "Amy Pond, the girl who waited. You've waited long enough."

Karen Gillan is great as Amy, the girl who waited for her Doctor to return. And waited. And waited. It'll be interesting to see how their relationship develops: Amy has known the Doctor all her life but he let her down by disappearing for 12 years - and then another 2! She's joined him on his adventures through time and space but won't take him for granted and is certain to challenge him when he needs challenging. There's more for us to learn about Amy and her life and there are hints that the Doctor knows more about her than he's letting on. This is obviously a thread that will develop throughout the season: I can't wait! Karen Gillan's performance in this first story is fiesty, sassy etc. etc. ( you know - all the usual companion cliches ) but also subtle. Watch her facial expressions when dealing with her "boyfriend" Rory, or when downplaying her kiss-o-gram "work" or her "Raggedy Doctor" childhood stories. Subtle and funny. Karen Gillan is definitely an actress to watch, so I'll finish with a totally gratuitous photo of the lady herself, wearing not very much.....

See you back here next week for The Beast Below.

The Eleventh Hour

Just a few images from The Eleventh Hour, Matt Smith's first triumphant outing as The Doctor. ( Beware - here be minor spoilers! ) Proper review to follow when I can stop my head from spinning.....

New Tardis interior ( SPOILER! )

Please shut your eyes if you're spoilerphobic, but below are pics of the new Tardis interior from Doctor Who Series Five / Thirty-One / Fnarg, courtesy of Radio Times.

Shiny!