Lost in the Time Vortex: an impossibly late Doctor Who review

Time can only be experienced subjectively by any observer and, at a quantum level, time as a concept probably doesn't actually exist... which is why my Doctor Who reviews are always so late. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it...
Coming as it did only a month after the historic 50th anniversary celebration, 2013's Doctor Who Christmas special had a lot to live up to. The Time Of The Doctor was, of course, Matt Smith's final bow as the "hipster boffin" Eleventh Doctor.

The episode veered from the typical Moffatt silliness ( nudity! cooking turkey in the time vortex! ) to the equally typical Moffatt time-twisting plotlines. The Doctor finally found himself trapped on the fields of Trenzalore, facing Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels and a whole galaxy-full of evil aliens, all trying to reignite the Time War. In a breathless style that must have been baffling to the casual, mince pie-stuffed viewer, Moffatt managed to tie up dangling plotlines ( the Silence are confessional priests! ), introduce and then kill off new characters ( the flirty Mother Superious, Tasha Lem ) and address the fan-pleasing concept of the Time Lord regeneration limit. Phew! But was it any good...?

Even though this episode didn't have the scope and scale of The Day Of The Doctor
( which would have been a hard act for anyone to follow ) it seemed a fitting send-off for Chinny. In keeping with the original, twisted fairy tale vibe of Smith's first season, this episode was heavy on the myth-making, with a real sense of the weight of time as the Doctor spent decades defending the town called Christmas from seemingly overwhelming odds. ( This theme of waiting and enduring runs all through Eleven's era, from little Amelia waiting for the blue box to return, to the Last Centurion's vigil, to Amy growing old in an alternate time-stream. )
And Matt Smith pulled out all the stops for his final appearance. Even labouring under layers of latex as an aged version of the Doctor he was as subtle, playful and soulful as ever  -  flirting with Tasha Lem, dancing with the children of Christmas, castigating the Daleks and, finally, giving that wonderful speech: "I will always remember when the Doctor was me." So will we, Matt. Oh, and it was a lovely surprise to see The Girl Who Waited one last time...

 And just when it was all getting too soppy, up popped the brand new Doctor in the shape of the awesome Peter Capaldi  -  all mad, staring eyes and complaining about the colour of his kidneys. The old order changeth yet again. How long is it until Autumn? It's a good job time's only subjective...

Soundtrack: loads of old school Hip Hop from Public Enemy, De La Soul, Wu Tang Clan, Dr. Dre etc.

Doctor Who: The Day Of The Doctor

So, it's the day after The Day Of The Doctor, the 50th Anniversary Special of the world's longest-running TV science fiction show. The day after the world witnessed ( amongst other things ) the terrible events of the last day of the Time War, a coming together of different incarnations of the Doctor, Zygons running amok in Elizabethan England, discussions about Cup-A-Soup, and Billie Piper looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards...

Please don't expect any reasoned, dispassionate critical appraisal of the episode here: I absolutely loved The Day Of The Doctor! Watching it, I felt as giddy and excited as I did when first watching The Three Doctors or The Five Doctors all those years ago. More than just a backwards-looking, nostalgic excuse for a televisual knees-up, this episode was bursting with ideas, Steven Moffatt's trademark twisty-turny plotting, some wonderful acting, beautiful special effects and a genuine sense that the show was moving forward as well as celebrating the past.

Bringing in the amazing John Hurt to portray the mysterious, forgotten War Doctor was a genius move  -  confronting at last the dread decision the Doctor made to end the Time War... and his suffering ever since. Matt Smith and David Tennant were a joy to see as the two modern Doctors  -  now enjoying each others' company, now competing, both flipping between excitement and melancholy in a heartbeat. There was also solid support in less flashy roles from Jemma Redgrave and Jenna Coleman, bringing a human perspective to this tale of gods and monsters.

And then there were the cameos and unexpected nods to the past: from the names on the sign outside Coal Hill School, to the photos on the walls in UNIT HQ, to the first glimpse of the 12th Doctor ( fierce! ), to the beautiful final shot of all the incarnations standing tall together, to the shiver-down-the-spine appearance of the mighty Tom Baker. As I said, I absolutely loved it  -  and so did the rest of the family, even Sophie who hasn't watched a Doctor Who episode in about 3 years. Welcome back...  :-)

Happy Birthday, Doctor! Here's to many, many more!

Soundtrack: All Is Dream by Mercury Rev

The Three Doctors

The BBC have posted some new images from the forthcoming Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special, The Day Of The Doctor, on their official site. I particularly like this one of Smith, Tennant and Hurt, all trying to out-grump each other. Cheer up boys... it's your anniversary :-)

And here's a nice pic of Jenna Coleman and Jemma Redgrave too...

Every Doctor has his day

Looking good for November...

Doctor Who: The Name Of The Doctor review... and some thoughts on departing Time Lords

Typical. Just as I was finally getting round to my splintered-in-time, two-weeks'-late Series 7 finale review... Matt Smith only goes and drops the bombshell that he will be leaving the show after this year's Christmas Special. I had anticipated him leaving after the 50th Anniversary Special because it would have seemed an appropriate time to go, but he was talking in interviews about coming back at Christmas... so it seemed like he was in for the long haul. But maybe not...

With two Specials yet to come to mark the end of the Eleventh Doctor's tenure, this isn't the time to get all maudlin about his departure. ( Unlike Matt in the photo above! ) I'll just say for now that I've loved his take on the Doctor ( with only a few minor reservations ) and the way he brought a lightness and eccentricity back to the part after the intensity of Eccleston and the Mockneyisms of Tennant. It's been obvious for some time that Smith's star has been in the ascendant ( heading to Hollywood to work with Ryan Gosling being the most obvious sign ) and the show obviously couldn't contain him much longer. I wish him all the best and I'm confident that the Who production team will find a suitably dazzling replacement. They haven't let us down so far.
( All this also begs the question  -  Will Steven Moffatt leave with "his" Doctor? It's obviously a possibility and again leaves the showrunner's role open for speculation. Not that I particularly want The Moff to leave  -  even though his time on the show hasn't been as groundbreaking as I'd hoped  -  but the thought of fresh blood in the Whoniverse is always exciting. )

So... The Name Of The Doctor : was it worth the wait / hype?
Actually, I'd say yes. Although the Doctor's name turned out to be a plot point and was not eventually revealed ( did we really think it would be? ) I didn't mind Moffatt's misdirection... although maybe the episode should have been titled In The Name Of The Doctor, which would have been more appropriate.
The whole episode had a suitably funereal feel as the Great Intelligence and his blank-faced Whispermen spirited the Doctor and his friends away to Trenzalore, the one place in the universe the Doctor must never go. Here, in a landscape devastated by conflict, we discovered the Doctor's final resting place and also his greatest secret.

Although, as with many of The Moff's scripts, the story didn't make huge amounts of sense it was heavily atmospheric with fine performances and some lovely nods to the show's past. The idea that the Doctor's tomb was his own deceased Tardis was a fitting, if grim, concept and Matt Smith totally sold the idea of the Doctor facing his own mortality with fear and bravery. The supporting cast all did sterling work, especially Alex Kingston ( in her final appearance? ) as a ghostly, computer-generated River Song. Strax, of course, got the few laughs in a necessarily sombre script. ( "Conference call...!")
The mystery of how Clara keeps popping up in the Doctor's life was finally solved, although this "closed-loop" kind of time paradox is one of those aforementioned moments that don't bear much scrutiny beyond the emotional impact.
Of course, the BIG moment was the appearance of John Hurt ( "as the Doctor" ) in the closing seconds of the episode. This was a hugely exciting moment, paving the way for the 50th Anniversary Special in November. Are we to expect that Hurt's Doctor is some kind of interim regeneration, maybe between the Eighth and the Ninth... and the one that pressed the button to end the Time War? Or is there more to him than that? Maybe he's the Valeyard? There are sure to be many twists and turns to come. However it pans out, November can't come soon enough...

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties. ( Or Impossible Girls )

Doctor Who: Series 7 Catch-up

If anyone out there is still reading the ludicrously infrequent postings on this 'ere blog, they'll have noticed that I'm waaaay behind with my Doctor Who reviews.
( As well as everything else, to be fair. ) It's not that I'm losing interest in the show or, indeed, the reviewing process but I've been very short on energy recently, due to my recent return to work. I'm only working half-days at the moment but even that is sapping all my strength  -  so much so that I tend to come home in the afternoons and go straight to bed. Not much time for blogging, then! Hopefully this will improve as I make a fuller return to what we laughingly call "real life"...but it may take some time. I also have some film and gig reviews to post on here too when I can get sorted. But, for now, just a few thoughts on some recent Doctor Who episodes, ahead of tonight's series finale, and presented ( in my usual, annoying manner ) in reverse order...

Nightmare In Silver:
Neil Gaiman's much-anticipated follow-up to the multi-award-winning The Doctor's Wife turned out to be a bit of a mixed bag. It was certainly good to see the Cybermen return as a far more credible threat than they've been in recent years  -  their pathetic appearance in Closing Time probably being their all-time low point. The sleek, new design was a definite success, harking back to some classic 1960s Cyber-looks while boasting some cool new elements  -  the built-in gun, the exposed steel spine. However, they weren't on screen enough for my liking, being reduced to tin soldiers while the Doctor played mind-games with the Cyber-Planner infesting his consciousness. And... weren't they supposed to be silent killers in this story? After all the pre-show talking-up of that point it was disappointing to hear the old pneumatic hiss and stomping of the Cybus model return.
There were some genuinely successful elements to this story: the Cybermen emerging from their tomb, Matt Smith's turning-on-a-sixpence acting as he flipped between dual roles, the well-realised dilapidated theme park setting. But that was almost balanced out by the virtually-pointless inclusion of Clara's two young charges, the lack of suspense and the criminal misuse of the guest cast... except for Warwick Davis who was quietly affecting as Porridge. I'll give this...

Three 1/2 Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or discarded Cybermites )




The Crimson Horror:
Mark Gatiss' second script this series and the one presumably closest to his heart as it features some very League Of Gentlemen-style black humour as well as Victorian grotesqueries reminiscent of his Lucifer Box novels. This episode was just pure fun, from the incongruities of Strax and co, to the Carry On Screaming vibe of the Crimson Horror itself, from Matt Smith's Frankenstein Monster impression, to the icky revelation of Mr. Sweet's true nature. The cast gave it their all with Smith's "Northern" accent being a delight and the overly-cheerful mortuary attendant standing out amongst the guest actors. The episode belonged, of course, to mother and daughter duo Diana Rigg and Rachel Stirling as insane factory-owner Mrs. Gillyflower and her blind, unloved daughter. They were clearly having a ball playing these characters and that was communicated to the audience.
( On a purely personal note I was interested to see one of the characters was called Mr. Thursday. Possibly a reference to this blog's "patron saint" GK Chesterton and his Victorian fantasy/horror novel The Man Who Was Thursday? I'm sure Mr. Gatiss would be aware of Mr. Thursday... )

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or prehistoric blood-slugs )



Journey To The Centre Of The Tardis:
TBH I was concerned when I realised this episode was written by Stephen Thompson, the man behind Series 6's damp pirate story The Curse Of The Black Spot. He has also worked with The Moff on Sherlock, writing last season's The Reichenbach Fall, which was, by contrast, an intricately-plotted, shocking cliffhanger. Could he replicate that success for Nu Who? Unfortunately, no...

This tale of the Doctor and an unscrupulous gang of outer-space salvage merchants hunting through the disabled Tardis for a missing Clara should have been so much better. As it was, we endured interminable wanderings through corridors ( which didn't really have any Time Lord uniqueness about them ) with only the occasional view at anything more interesting within the Tardis' depths. A quick view of a swimming-pool here... a few seconds in a library there. The chance to finally see more of the modern day Tardis than just the console room should really have been a magical trip into the underworld. Instead it was more like a trudge through a muddy underpass. The revelation of the Eye Of Harmony and the exploding Tardis engines were fine moments, but they weren't enough. If only we could have seen something like the MC Esher inspired poster above...
There were some lovely moments between Matt and Jenna Louise which certainly helped ease the pain, and the "time zombies" lurking in the Tardis were very creepy, if poorly-rationalised. Just don't start me on the intergalactic rag 'n' bone men... old man Steptoe must be turning in his grave...
"Haaaarooold!!"

Two 1/2  Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Plot Reset Buttons )

So, that's almost it for an alarmingly patchy second half of the series. Here's hoping tonight's finale The Name Of The Doctor can live up to its hype...

Doctor Who: Cold War / Hide ( Reviews )

OK, two ridiculously late Doctor Who episode reviews are herein combined as one mini-review for your perusing pleasure. I've omitted the usual "reviews with spoilers" description since, surely, anyone who wanted to watch these stories has watched them by now.

Cold War:

This has to be the best Doctor Who script Mark Gatiss has written since The Unquiet Dead, way back in Series One. A tense, claustrophobic story with some great lines and a fascinating new slant on an old enemy. The Doctor and Clara are heading for Las Vegas but somehow end up on a sinking Russian nuclear sub at the height of the Cold War. Also on board is Grand Marshall Skaldak, an Ice Warrior recently thawed from a 5000-year sleep who is not happy to be there, seemingly abandoned by his people. Once Skaldak learns about the '80s concept of Mutually-Assured Destruction he's on a collision course with the Doctor to decide the fate of the Earth.

With many nods towards such films as The Thing and Alien, this is a beautifully-directed, atmospheric episode which pushes the boundaries of Saturday tea-time, family-friendly horror as far as they can go. The lumbering, hissing Ice Warrior is a perfectly-judged updating of a classic Who "monster" and there are some fine guest performances from submarine commander Liam Cunningham and scientist and Duran Duran fan David Warner. I was particularly glad to see Warner's character survive the story: it would be great to see that ever-wonderful actor in Doctor Who again. Another great showcase for Jenna-Louise in this episode  -  convincingly scared but brave in her confrontations with Skaldak and sharing a real warmth with David Warner's Grisenko.

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Model Subs )

Hide:

After the relative misfire of Neil Cross' last episode, The Rings Of Akhaten, this story is a vast improvement and obviously a subject closer to the writer's heart. The Doctor and Clara arrive at Caliburn House in the beige days of 1974 where former war hero turned ghost hunter Major Alec Palmer ( Dougray Scott ) is searching for the ghost known as The Witch Of The Well, with the assistance of the empathic Emma Grayling ( Jessica Raine ). The Doctor blusters his way into the investigation, posing as "the man from the Ministry", but  -  of course  -  he has an ulterior motive for being there. And, this being Doctor Who, the "ghost" isn't quite what she seems...

Hide is a cracking good yarn ( as no-one says any more... ) again rich in atmosphere and detail. It's a case of "spot the references" here as time and again the story reminds the ghost story fans amongst us of classic tales such as The Haunting, The Innocents and, especially, Nigel Kneale's The Stone Tape. There's some beautiful cinematography as the characters stalk the gloomy, Gothic corridors of Caliburn House and the even gloomier woods where something strange and twisted lurks. Director Jamie Payne conjures up some wonderful glimpses of the "ghost" and the "hider", often just outside of the characters' vision, illuminated by candle light or lightning flashes. The hesitant, touching relationship between Alec and Emma is skillfully communicated by stumbling conversations and brief glances  -  a masterclass from Scott and Raine in how to suggest so much with so little. This is probably my favourite episode of the series so far with many subtle and clever touches, from Clara's "conversation" with the Tardis to the final realisation that this was a love story ( or two ) and not a ghost story. And this story is one of those elite examples of Doctor Who where not one single character dies... which is nice because, again, the show has given us two memorable characters in Alec and Emma who I'd love to see return some day.

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Pale, Ghostly Faces... )

A Doctor by any other name...

The BBC have announced today that the final episode of Series 7 of Doctor Who ( or Series 7b if you prefer... ) is titled The Name Of The Doctor. And apparently us viewers need to "stand by for something that you might always have believed to be impossible..."
Steven Moffatt's been dropping hints for a couple of years now that the Doctor's "greatest secret" would soon be revealed. But... do we need to know his real name? Won't it take away the essential mystery of the character? It's been hinted that Time Lords choose their names ( eg The Master or The Corsair ) to suit their personalities or ideals, so the Doctor must have had a name once, instead of just a title. But, whatever it might be  -  Theta Sigma? John Smith? Matt Smith?  -  wouldn't it prove to be a massive let-down once the cat's out of the bag? You can almost guarantee you'll be disappointed: it'll be too mundane, it'll be too exotic, it'll be too obvious etc. etc.
Personally, I think this will prove to be yet another piece of misdirection along the lines of The Doctor's Daughter or The Doctor's Wife. They didn't actually, really, truthfully turn out to be his real daughter or wife, did they? Moffat likes his "slutty" episode titles, like Let's Kill Hitler, which draw people in and guarantee hype and press coverage... and this particular title will certainly do that. Of course, this series finale will also lead into the 50th Anniversary special, so I wouldn't expect too many secrets to be revealed just yet...

( Oh yeah... due to various technical hitches my review of last Saturday's Cold War is even later than usual. I'll probably combine it with the review of this week's episode, Hide. Slapped wrists all round. )

Soundtrack: Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd ( RIP Storm Thorgerson )

Doctor Who: The Bells Of Saint John ( review with spoilers )

The ringing of the Bells Of Saint John is a wake-up call for the Doctor and the programme itself: yes, the Ponds have gone, but now it's time to stop moping, move on and have some fun...
It is the 50th anniversary year after all...

Series 7 continues after an extended break as the Doctor "luckily" runs into Clara Oswald again. This modern version of Clara is a child-minder in contemporary London who has no computer skills and rings a help-line when her Wi-fi goes down... which somehow connects with the Doctor, who's gloomily exiled himself to a 13th century monastery. ( Do we sense the hand of River Song in this? ) The Doc springs into action to again try and solve the mystery of The Woman Twice Dead. As another Steven Moffat character might say "The game is on..."

"Suppose there was something in the Wi-fi harvesting human minds...?"
There's your high concept for this episode. We're all tapping away at keyboards on laptops, netbooks, tablets... all at the mercy of a hungry alien intelligence. Well, OK, it's the Great Intelligence again  -  gifting us with a short, but very welcome, appearance from the great Richard E Grant. ( Quite poignantly, actually, for us Withnail fanatics after the recent sad passing of Richard Griffiths. ) He, or it, is pulling the strings of glacial businesswoman / villainess Miss Kizlet, wonderfully portrayed by the excellent Celia Imrie. From her eyrie atop The Shard she controls the world's Wi-fi, switching people on and off like puppets, and even managing to drop planes out of the sky onto London...

The Bells Of Saint John is a fast-paced, glossy episode with definite hints of recently-demised BBC programmes like Spooks or Hustle in its high-tech, high-rise view of London. In fact, it reminds me a lot of Partners In Crime, the opening episode of Series 4  -  reintroducing a previous character as a permanent companion, lots of scenes in offices, a power-suited woman as antagonist and so on. Unfortunately, the "minds being uploaded" concept and the head-spinning Spoonheads themselves ( robotic Wi-fi base stations ) are very derivative of that series' "Library" two-parter, which is this episode's main failing.
However, there is plenty to love here: the Doctor's "anti-grav" ride up the side of The Shard, the concept of a "snogging booth", the mystery of Clara ( what's with that leaf? ), the gorgeous location footage, Miss Kizlet's tragic fate, the witty digs at modern day life, the Doc looking cool with fez, bow tie and Pertwee-esque new purple clobber...

And, of course, the radiant Jenna-Louise Coleman, making her third "first appearance" as the contemporary version of Clara. Subtly different to her "Souffle Girl" or "Victorian Governess" iterations, this is a confident, modern character with plenty of charm, a real twinkle in her eye and that mystery at her core...
Coleman and Smith are a delight together, a fizzing chemistry between them already apparent, promising great things.

I'm torn between giving this episode a 4 rating or a 3 1/2 ( mostly due to some recycled ideas ) but, sucker that I am, looking at JLC's smile above has warmed my frosty heart, so I'll go for...

4 Out Of 5 Bow Ties ( or mediaeval bells )

PS I've been doing this Bow Tie Rating system for a long time now and I'd just like to remind everyone that it was the lovely Michelle / Mickey Glitter who first gave me the idea. Cheers!

Reasons to be cheerful...

Part One:

The Ice Warriors are back! Yay! It was confirmed a little while ago that everyone's favourite Martian marauders would appear in Season 7b of Doctor Who and now, courtesy of the ever-wonderful SFX magazine, we've had our first glimpse of their updated look. As with the Daleks and the Cybermen, the production team have realised what an iconic design the original monster had, and have only slightly tweaked it, making it more modern and convincingly real. Well, as real as Martian lizard-warriors get, anyway. Please click on the picture to see larger-scale scales :-)
I wonder what Madam Vastra would think of them...?

Part Two:

I know I keep dribbling on about Bowie's return, but I am getting pretty excited about his forthcoming new album. New single The Stars ( Are Out Tonight ) is a cracking rocker, of the sort I never would have thought The Dame would produce again. OK, it may be a whinge about celebrity stalkers and paparazzi but who's more qualified to sing about such things than Bowie? A man whose every move is scrutinised and obsessed over? Just like I'm doing now? Oh, and the video stars Tilda Swinton, which is cool.



Part Three:

Spring has sprung! It's been a beautiful day here in the Shire and has certainly been a tonic for this ol' blogger who has been feeling a bit down just lately. Being the stereotypical suburbanite that I am, at the first hint of sunshine I sprinted outside to mow the lawn. ( Well, maybe not "sprinted " ) That was about as much as I could manage in my present "delicate" condition ( I sound like a Jane Austen heroine... ) so, the next thing I knew, I was falling asleep in the sunshine, listening to a robin singing. Perfect :-)

I'm cheating slightly here  -  this pic of Hero ( with Sarah gardening in the background and Jasper looking on from the sidelines ) is from last Spring. But you get the general idea...

Soundtrack: Dance Yrself Clean by LCD Soundsystem
                   The Stars ( Are Out Tonight ) by that Bowie bloke

Doctor Who: The Snowmen ( Review with spoilers )

"The Doctor does not help people. Not anymore, not ever. He stands above this world and never interferes in the affairs of its inhabitants. He is not your salvation or your protector..."

Poor old, Doctor! After losing the Ponds to the Weeping Angel's temporal trap he's exiled himself to Victorian London, hung up the bow tie and become a sort of Time Lord Scrooge, parking the Tardis on top of a cloud (!) and withdrawing from a life of adventure. His only friends are lesbian lizard detective, Madam Vastra, her wife / surrogate Dr. Watson, Jenny, and mysteriously-reborn Sontaran, Strax. While they sleuth their way around London, apparently inspiring Conan Doyle's stories in The Strand magazine, The Doctor sits in his box and broods...

...until ( you knew there was going to be an "until..." didn't you? ) he discovers the grim Doctor Simeon ( a stony-faced Richard E Grant ) and his army of ice, who have terrible plans for the human race. And just who is the mysterious Clara? The girl who, at first, seems to be a Cockney barmaid but is also somehow a prim and proper governess to two haunted children? Why does the Doctor feel they've met before?

Although the Doctor himself is in a depressed mood at the start of this story, The Snowmen is a lot of festive fun, a flurry ( sorry! ) of running around, madcap humour  -  mostly at the expense of  "potato-dwarf" Strax  -  and the typically gorgeous BBC recreation of Victorian England we've come to expect from the show.( Most of it filmed in Bristol, just 30 miles down the road from where I sit typing these witless words. ) And then there's Clara...

Jenna Louise Coleman is a delight as the perky, determined, fun-loving Clara  -  a woman able to cross the boundaries of the Victorian class hierarchy with impunity and also to deal with such futuristic concepts as telepathic snow, humanoid lizards, Humpty-Dumpty-headed aliens and deceptively-roomy blue boxes. It now seems apparent that there are multiple versions of Clara across time and space  -  the Doctor realises when this iteration of Clara ( SPOILERS! ) dies near the end of the episode that he has, impossibly, met her before in the Dalek Asylum, and we also briefly see a modern day Clara at the end of the episode. This mystery, as well as the Doctor's guilt at letting Victorian Clara down ( literally! ), is obviously the spark he needs to reawaken his passion for life and adventure, even more so than saving the world from Snowmen...

The villains themselves are probably the weakest link in the story. Yet again the production team seem uncertain about how to present a credible threat in a Christmas episode. While not as weak as last year's festive episode in the menace stakes, The Snowmen is a story which sorely under uses its titular monsters, apart from the Ice Governess character who is admittedly quite creepy. Even worse, Ian McKellen's voice-over cameo as the Great Intelligence ( oh, yes! ) is a wasted opportunity... unless it is set to be a recurring enemy, which is a nice thought but unlikely. The wonderful Richard E Grant fared better, coldly restrained as the villainous Doctor Simeon, but with some hidden sorrows revealed in his final scenes. I still wish he'd called the Doctor a "terrible c***" though, a la Withnail :-)

Where the episode did get it 100% right, however, was the introduction of the new companion to the Tardis. In a twist to the familiar scene, the Doctor and Clara ascended a dimensionally-transcendendant spiral staircase ( try saying that after a few whiskeys! ) to find the Tardis resting on a cloud, below glittering stars. A very magical scene, followed by Clara's first glimpse inside the blue box and the introduction of the new Tardis interior. As I've said here the retro stylings of Michael Pickwoad's new design seem like a step back after the funky, junky Control Rooms of recent years... but I think it will grow on me. It just needs a bit more clutter to feel authentic. Maybe a hat stand?
Similarly, the new title sequence is also something of a nod to the past, with its very colourful '70s "Time Tunnel" effect and the glimpse of Matt Smith's face appearing from clouds of stellar matter. It's a very traditional take on the Who titles and, contrary bugger that I am, I loved it!

I'll give this one 4 Out Of 5 Bow Ties ( or mince pies )

The show seems to be gearing up nicely for its 50th anniversary year, with plenty of new trappings
( companion, Tardis, theme tune, titles ) but still with a definite sense of fidelity to its long history.
Bring on 2013!

Doctor Who: Angels, Slow Invasions, Cowboys and Dinosaurs

Due to the wibbly-wobbly nature of spacetime, I'm having to write my thoughts on the last 4 (!) Doctor Who episodes after last Saturday's season break... and in reverse order. And all this without the aid of a vortex manipulator...
The Angels Take Manhattan is the Doctor's latest encounter with the scary statuary as well as the much-hyped end of the line for the Ponds. As with the majority of Steven Moffatt's episodes this story boasts some twisty-turny storytelling, a ton of great dialogue and a plot that doesn't stand up to much scrutiny. It is, however, very spooky in a Raymond-Chandler-meets-MR- James kind of way ( those cherubs! ), with some lovely location work in the Big Apple and a creepy new twist to the Angels' modus operandi. The regular cast all give fine, committed performances ( especially Arthur Darvill who is vastly underrated in my opinion ) as the characters struggle to keep their quirky family unit together, only to fail at the last hurdle. The Ponds may have outstayed their welcome but I'm still going to miss them, and the final scene, returning to young Amelia sitting on her suitcase in her garden, waiting for the Doctor, is a lovely touch.

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or authentic New York pretzels )

Further back in time, The Power Of Three also focuses on Amy and Rory and their house guest, a certain Time Lord. The world awakes one day to find countless millions of seemingly-harmless small black cubes dotting the landscapes and doing... nothing. The Doctor and UNIT ( represented by Jemma Redgrave ) are convinced that these cubes are part of an alien invasion but they'll have to wait a whole year to find out what's really going on. This is a low-key episode, in the vein of the two "Lodger" episodes, which wrings much humour out of the Doctor's awkwardness and frustration as he has to deal with domestic situations and an unusually ( for him ) linear procession of time. When the plot finally kicks in the episode loses its appeal as Steven Berkoff overacts as the personification of the alien threat, too many loose ends are left dangling and the hasty solution to the invasion is disappointing. But a beautiful little scene between Matt Smith and Karen Gillan makes it all worthwhile as the Doctor tries to tell Amy how he feels about her, all the while knowing that they are drifting apart. Sob!

Three Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Rubik's Cubes )

A Town Called Mercy is Doctor Who's first attempt at a Western since The Gunfighters, the infamously feeble, studio-bound retelling of the gunfight at the OK Corral from way back in 1966. This is a very different kettle of fish ( or fistful of dollars ) even though plenty of iconic Western tropes are present and correct: there's a shootout at High Noon, all heads turn and the piano goes silent as the Doctor strides into the Saloon etc. etc.
Script writer Toby Whithouse imbues this potentially simplistic story ( alien cyborg terrorises small Western town ) with a streak of darkness and an investigation of the Doctor's morality. Upon learning that the town's doctor ( the excellent Adrian Scarborough ) is actually an alien war criminal, "our" Doctor effectively throws him to the wolves by hauling him  past the town's boundary to leave him at the mercy of the avenging cyborg. On this occasion it's Amy who is the voice of conscience ( but... anyone remember Madam Kovarian...? ) who has to reign in the Doctor's anger. While I enjoy seeing Matt Smith's Doctor cutting loose now and then, it has all been done before.
I must confess this is the only episode of this half-series that I've only watched the once. I'll have to watch it again and revisit that town called Mercy with its beautiful
( Spanish ) landscapes and its horse called Susan...

Three Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Stetsons )

And as we finish our journey back in time, towards the Dalek Asylum, we materialise in a spaceship containing dinosaurs... and robots... and Queen Nefertiti of Egypt... and a lot of innuendo. Yep, it's Motherfudgin' Dinosaurs On A Motherfudgin' Spaceship.
The title alone clued me in that this one would be Fun with a capital F, and it definitely is. While I can appreciate the grim and gritty side of Who, I'm also a sucker for the lighter, camper stories  -  I'm a big fan of the much-derided Love & Monsters for instance  -  and this one ticks all the boxes, with its action, daft humour, cool spaceships... and did I mention motherfudgin' dinosaurs?
The Doctor assembles a gang to help him stop the titular spacecraft plummeting to Earth, including the Ponds, the previously-mentioned African Queen ( no, not the boat ), big-game hunter Riddell and Rory's dad, Brian, played by the wonderful Mark Williams.
The only seemingly sour note in the episode was the Doctor's decision to leave the excellent-as-ever David Bradley's villain, Solomon, in a doomed spaceship, with no escape. He had been built up as a cold -hearted, mass-murdering bastard, but the Doctor's actions seemed jarring in such a "romp" of a story. And have been hotly debated amongst the blogging classes. However, on thinking about it... the Doctor's killed with impunity many, many times in the past, hasn't he? Countless "monsters" and aliens have been dispatched with no public outcry because, well, they're monsters and aliens, aren't they? No harm done there. The 7th Doc tricked Davros into blowing up a whole planet once, after all. Even in recent years the Doctor calmly watched Cassandra die ( twice ) and dropped the Sycorax leader on to London from a great height. So, he's not always cute and fluffy, is he? And, he's not always necessarily in the right...

Phew! Heavy, maaaan! Anyway, I'm giving this:

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or dinosaur eggs )

Doctor Who: Asylum Of The Daleks ( review with spoilers )

Asylum Of The Daleks is a big, bold, surprisingly dark story to launch the new series of Doctor Who. A galaxy ( at least ) away from glossier, Earth-bound fare like Partners In Crime or The Eleventh Hour, it immediately immerses the viewer in the madness of the Daleks and the marital problems of the Ponds.

The Doctor, Amy and Rory are all abducted by the Skarosian mutants, whisked away to a space-station and summoned to the Dalek Parliament, where the Prime Minister ( Dave Dalek? ) enlists them at gunpoint in a mission to infiltrate and destroy the legendary Asylum Of The Daleks. This is a planet-wide dumping ground for the most insane and unstable of the pepper-pot-shaped fanatics and only The Predator ( aka the Doctor ) is capable of carrying out the raid.

Down in the Asylum the Time Trio have to face versions of some familiar Moffat tropes: reanimated corpses, memory loss, infantile jibes at the Doctor's features... as well as some old school body horror, straight out of the Eric Saward era...

This is an atmospheric, creepy episode which goes some way to restoring the Daleks to their position of ultimate Who-foe after a couple of ill-judged stories. It's good to see that the production team have back-pedalled a bit and reintroduced the bronze, 2005-vintage Daleks and given the "Tellytubby" models a darker paint job. It's also a treat to see some "classic"-era Daleks lurking in the Asylum ( especially the Special Weapons Dalek! ) even if they're not quite as prominent as the pre-publicity led us to believe.

Matt Smith is fantastic as ever, again reminding us that his characterisation of the Doctor is at its best when he's being quiet and subtle and conveying a universe of hurt mostly with his eyes. Karen Gillan has a big, going-for-the-Bafta moment... which doesn't quite convince, to be honest. The Ponds' relationship problems apparently stem from her inability to have any more children, following the events of Demon's Run and the birth of Melody/River. But, as in last year's Night Terrors, I found myself asking why the characters can't just adopt or foster children? It might not be so "dramatic" but, out in the real world, there are hundreds of children needing loving families, and to reflect that in a family-friendly show could be both appropriate and touching. But unlikely...

Of course, the big surprise of this episode is the first appearance of Jenna-Louise Coleman, who brings a wide-eyed but confident joie de vivre to the part of Oswin... until the truth about her existence is revealed and she sacrifices herself to save the Doctor and her own soul. It's going to be interesting to see how JLC will return to the show at Christmas: will she play an ancestor of this character or will she be reborn through Moffat-patented wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey plot magic? Time will tell. I'm definitely looking forward to her Tardis debut and, hopefully, to a companion who doesn't scowl quite so much. Sorry, Amy...

Anyway, I'm going to award this episode:

Four Out Of Five Bow Ties ( or Sink Plungers )

Jenna-Louise Coleman

( Spoiler alert! Please look away now if you haven't watched Asylum Of The Daleks yet... )

Steven Moffat managed to yet again pull the metaphorical rug out from beneath the feet of Doctor Who fans by including new star Jenna-Louise Coleman in the first episode of the new series... three months before we expected to see her. And, in the words of Stevie Wonder, isn't she lovely?

Jenna looks stunning in her little red dress ( bit of a '60s Star Trek vibe here ) and gives a flirty, sweetly cocky performance as computer-hacker-with-a-twist Oswin. It remains to be seen how her character will reappear at Christmas, if indeed she can play the same character after this episode's tragic twist. And... is she really going to be called Oswin? I mean... Oswin?? Various spoiler sites are claiming the character's name will be Clara, with "Oswin" apparently being the surname. Let's hope so...

I'll hopefully have a review of Asylum... on here very soon, but I may have to re-watch it first to get my head round the various twists and turns :-)

It's obviously Amy's turn to die this season...

Doctor Who Series 7 - coming soon - and featuring the Special Weapons Dalek! Yay!

And ( deep breath... ) Dinosaurs On A Spaceship!!!! as seen in this new trailer. Enjoy.