The Introvert Wins Again

We saw one lone star.
She told me that she once heard that stars can be wished upon
She asked me if that was true:
I suppose; I responded
that anything can be wished upon
if you have dreams in your heart.


Earlier we walked home from dinner in the tropical heat-
the palm trees swaying unseen in the shadows
hints of frangipani and hibiscus
blending into the city streets under the traffic.
She told me about her favorite author
with intensity and excitement.
She loves his artwork and he is a good collaborator.
“Daddy!”
Every sentence pre-punctatued with two syllables
“Daddy, Eric Carle uses so many colors and writes so many book.”
She told me that she loves books and can’t wait to read to her kids every night.
“Daddy! I hope my kids appreciate books as much as we do.”
I was flabbergasted by the words coming out of her six year old mouth.


Early, on the way to dinner, the other one asked about the Bible.
We discussed the Garden of Eden story.
The tree of knowledge-
Eve being made from Adam’s rib.
“Why wouldn’t god take the time to maker her from scratch?”
That’s a great question I told her.
Holding back from defining the biblical roots of misogyny.
“So what do you call yourself?”
Atheist.
“Mommy too?”
I think so.
“What am I?”
Whatever you decide to be when you are ready to decide.
“For now I think I believe in the greek gods.”
Those are great stories.
“Daddy? What’s the difference between a myth and a religion?”
Great question.

…

My plans to go out tonight and make a night of it have fallen victim to fatigue and exhaustion.
Instead I am back in my pyjamas at 8:45 on a Friday night.


The immediate future looks like this:
finish up this thing.
grab a glass of wine
watch The Punk Singer.

I Went To Church Today

I went to church today. Yup. Church. Me. Today.

This is not some allusion or metaphor about me sitting on a beach somewhere lost in my spiritual ramblings. It is actually what it says: I went to church today. Complete with prayers, hands in the air (not my hands, but there were hands in the air) and the ole praise Jesus and a smattering of amens. Before I get into what it was like, let me start with the why. Several people who knew I was planning on going to church today asked me why, and while I tried to think of some reasons on the spot in the social environments where they asked, as you know I am better at articulating ideas in blog form. So why did I go to church today:

Because I want to be the kind of person who says yes to life more often than I say no. I want to say yes when it is easy and fun, but I also need to say yes when it is complicated and uncomfortable. I want to know, see and feel what other people value before I make judgements, and if I am doing it right I hope not to feel the need to judge at all. I want my ideals and values to be rooted in experience and understanding.

I went to church today, because I am curious about other people’s beliefs and how they think and make sense of the world. I spend so much time glibly proselytizing my atheism that I thought it might do me some good to spend some time in a church. While there, I was thinking that maybe I need to go to a Hindu temple or mosque next, so if you want to invite me I am down to go.

I went to church today because someone who listens and interacts with my rambling asked me to come, and I felt I owed him the respect he has shown my ideas. If I am going to be passionate about my values and ideas- art, veganism, peace, music, whatever it is, then I have to respect other people’s passions and give them the benefit of the doubt.

I went to church today because if I claim to be an open minded person then I have to be open minded in action and not just words. I have to listen more than I talk. I have to take-in as much I give away. I have to learn as much as I teach.

So for these reasons and maybe a few more, I went to church today. What was it like?

It was pretty great. It was exciting, musical, artistic, joyful, passionate, warm, welcoming, intimate, communal and honest. I haven’t been church in a long, long time and the times I have been it has never felt like this. I have always felt uncomfortable and bored and disconnected. But not today. I arrived a bit early chatted with some folks about day-to-day things, had some coffee, listened to a few songs and listened to Hamish give a well researched, interesting, and personal sermon about how to read the bible.

This is not a post to argue or debate the merits of his ideas or beliefs, that is what a bottle of wine might be for, but I appreciated his sentiment, his passion and his skill as an orator. I didn’t always agree with what he said and there many times when in my mind I was saying, ‘’but, but, but….what about…..and…..but, but, but.” I let it go and listened with an open mind. It’s amazing what that can do for your intellect as well as your spirit.

At first I spent so much energy pulling away and judging the people as they smiled too wide or praised Jesus too enthusiastically. It didn’t feel real to me. The cynic in me felt they were faking it. I guess because this type of devotion is not real for me, but I tried real hard to just be there in the moment and relate to what was being said without the need to argue all the time, which is what I usually do at religious events.

Before I go on, let me say that I enjoyed my time at Inspire Church. If I wanted a community of Christians to get to know this might be where I would start. If I created a church, this might be what it would look like. If I needed this type of faith, this might be the place where I would look, but honestly I don’t feel I need it.

It was nice to see these people so happy and bonded and worshiping as a family, and although I could appreciate what it was doing for them, I knew as I walked away that Church is not for me. Not because of anything this church itself was doing or not doing, but I guess I just reject the very idea of faith.

I started thinking about this idea of being consumed by god, jesus, faith, grace whatever you want to call it, during one of the first songs. They sang something like Jesus you are my everything and nothing I have is worth anything without you, or something like that. Which got me thinking- what is my everything? Is there one thing that I pour my entire soul into? One place that holds my complete heart and mind? Do I value anything so much that I consume it and allow myself to be consumed by it?

The answer- I hope not.

The world and the pieces of me in it are too rich, too complex to be poured into a vessel as one-sided as a singular faith. How can there only be one god, one faith, one church? I have faith in so many things, so there is no way I ever want to put one name around it all. If I closed my eyes, and raised my hands and praised any one thing, I feel like I would be doing a dis-service to all things. I don't ever want to see the world through one lens, even if that lens is the all-loving Jesus.

Beyond the stories and the bible and the sin and the language of worship and redemption and all of the devil and god and heaven and hell, my understanding from today is that it all boils down to love. The divine whatever it might look like. Compassion. Peace. Empathy. I get all that. I just don’t want to dilute the image through the lens of faith in Jesus. Those ideas of divinity, in my humble opinion, do not need Jesus, a god or a church.

It's a great story, the story of the Israelites and the covenant with God, but just one in a series of others. I can't, I won't reduce the divinity into such a simple cup.

I hope that it is enough that I live a good life. Try my best to be righteous. Understand that I am fallible and broken and wonderful and in pain and full of love without having to brand myself in any one faith. Or in faith at all. There is no one thing that I feel so consumed by.

I loved seeing the people today so happy and comfortable in their faith in Jesus and their approach was refreshing and made me happy too.

But I think I will keep walking down my own road and looking to see what else I can find. I am not sure what that church looks like or if I even need one. I have met many people on this journey and we have shared many stories and songs and our own twisted sermons along the way. These meanderings seem be enough for for me. Today my searching took me into a church, and I am grateful for the hospitality. And honestly, Hamish I look forward to coming back if you will have me, you have a cool thing going.

But for me the end of the journey can never be in any one church, actually for me there is no end to the journey.

The Rapture

I’m not gonna lie; I have been a bit obsessed with the rapture. It started with a few snarky Tweets and Facebook statuses. Then I sang this song by Josh Ritter about it this morning:

I'm not afraid of the dark

When the sun goes down

And the dreams grow teeth

And the beasts come out

Cast their long shadows

Every time that they start

I'll be right here with you

I'm not afraid of the dark

and started the day reading a little Walk Whitman.

Clear and sweet is my soul, and clear and sweet is all that is not
my soul.

Lack one lacks both, and the unseen is proved by the seen, Till that becomes unseen and receives proof in its turn.

It’s not only that an 89-year-old Californian preacher could prophesize that the Rapture would begin at 6pm in each of the world's time zones, with those "saved" by Jesus ascending to heaven and the non-believers being wiped out by an earthquake rolling from city to city across the planet, but what I am most flummoxed by is the fact that while most people are casually mocking this preacher, the concept of the rapture is still believed by so many people.

Seems strange that we can all ridicule and mock deranged Harry Campers, but for most Christians the concept of the Rapture is still very real; sure they may not believe it was supposed to happen this Saturday, but many, dare I say most do, or at least should, believe that it will happen sometime.

by CharleHolton

I am trying to offend anyone, or pull the arrogant-atheist-self-righteous card, but really I find it hard to believe that people honestly believe:

...the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 4:15-17

What confuses me is that I am not sure what I am supposed believe literally and what is metaphorical. Seems unfair for people to be able to pick and choose. If the Bible is the truth than how or why do “moderate” Christians feel embarrassed when people like Camper preach its gospel. Either you believe that the Lord is coming to clean house or you don’t. If there is a deeper more sophisticated way of understand the end of days story (myth?) please by all means share them with me. I would love a book that looks at the Bible stories in a non-literal way. Is the rapture true is a metaphor? If the latter for what?

It is all the Rapture, Lord in Heaven, salvation, and “the believe in me or be punished” rhetoric that has turned me off religion. You want me to love my neighbor, help the poor, be a kind and good man, , a loving husband and father…well I am doing my best. I am aware of my shortcomings and trying to do what I can to be a good human being, but I will not be saved in the name of anyone and if that means that I cannot be raptured and saved, so be it. I don’t want anything to do with a heaven that punishes non-believers. I would literally rather burn in hell. If I am meant to be punished because I do not believe, and not rewarded for my actions, count me out. The world I see is much more subtle and beautiful than that.

I can understand, appreciate, and would love to discuss a deeper view of end of times as described by Mark Morford in his latest column:

Maybe the Rapture isn't meant to happen in a big megawhoomp zap, like a giant piñata filled with little candy Jesuses exploding all over the Colorado Rockies. Maybe it's actually an epic saga, unfolding slowly over time, like the world's longest vaguely depressing but beautifully shot documentary film. Fantastic lighting! Expert camerawork! Stirring, hardscrabble tales of love and hope! Too bad everyone dies in the end.

Maybe we are now experiencing some kind of spiritual downward spiral, and our salvation is not to succumbing to a lord, but to getting our collective karmic consciousness houses in order. Perhaps instead of arguing over dates when the world will end and the “winners” get to go to heaven and the “losers” burn in hell, we should decide to follow the basic tenets of all our creeds. Perhaps we focus energy on ridding our minds and hearts of violence and fill them with love and understanding.

I must say I am a bit disappointed. It would have been nice if somehow all the “true believers” would have been zapped away someplace, far away, where they can sit and read their bibles and enjoy their time alone and finally let us down here on earth get to the work at hand- living our lives as best we can.

by Karma Communications

We could final sing and dance, create our provocative art, enjoy our bodies, and hunger for knowledge in peace. No more guilt. No more sin. Just beautiful carnal animal joy. We could final begin to have a human experience here on earth. We could question everything and assign no blame. We could throw out all the dogma and gospels and listen to the earth.

I know, I know keep my hippy utopian ideas to myself…but there are more of us who are losing hope in old myths. But until more people stand up and say that we feel that it is not only Campers who is disillusioned by claiming the Rapture was meant to happen this weekend, but that the very concept of the Rapture is flawed, we will continue to be stuck in these cycles of unawareness and fear.
Tomorrow will be another beautiful day here on Earth. We will all wake up and hopefully be grateful that it all didn’t end. There is not enough time in life to waste hoping for it to end, or pining for some future reward. This is it, my one go, and  I for one will do my best to cherish and enjoy it. At least until the next Rapture.

Faithless

I was thrilled when I first heard that Sam Harris had written a rebuttal book in the form of a letter to all the angry Christians about his book The End of Faith. I was equally excited when said book arrived yesterday, but that is when my enthusiasm slowly turned to disappointment.

The book itself is a slim 90-page recap of all the arguments Harris made in The End of Faith. While I agree with nearly every single point he makes, I was let down that there was not much new material.

Having said that, although, Letter to a Christian Nation does not break new ground, Harris does an adept job of creating a nice little handbook for every atheist arguing the absurdity of religion. He says himself:

The primary purpose of the book is to arm secularist in our society, who believe that religion should be kept out of public policy.

I suppose one could say that Letter to a Christian Nation is a valuable because of its brevity not despite it. Harris makes several compelling arguments, my favorite being the following:

Consider: every devout Muslim has the same reasons for being a Muslim that you have for being a Christian. And yet you do not find their reasons compelling. The truth is, you know exactly what it is like to be an atheists with respect to the beliefs of Muslims. Understand that the way you feel about Islam is precisely the way devout Muslims view Christianity. And it is the way I view all religions.

The rest of the book is littered with sharp nuggets like the following:

Faith is nothing more than the license religious people give one another to keep believing when reasons fail.

While believing strongly, without evidence, is considered a mark of madness or stupidity in any area of our lives, faith in God still holds immense prestige in our society.

In closing, books like Dawkin’s God Delusion and Harris’ own End of Faith are much more comprehensive arguments, but Letter to a Christian Nation is a nice read. I read it in one sitting and am happy that I did.

Doubt is Humbling

A few night ago, I watched Religulous with Bill Maher, and I have been thinking about it ever since. I found a few clips on Youtube that epitomize the themes of the film, but like I always tell my students, one shouldn’t just post Youtube clips without any personal insight as to why the said clip is being shared.

The problem is that I am lazy and don’t really want to take the time to explain why I found this movie in general, and this clip in particular, so damn important. One could argue than, that I should just stew in my own reveries and leave the blog posts to more diligent and thoughtful writers. I can’t do that. I want to try and at least scribe a few paragraphs.

Religion must die for mankind to live

This is a hyperbolic statement, there is no doubt about that, but more and more I think people, myself included, are waking up and seeing that the myths in which we have ensconced ourselves are the main reasons why we are heading towards global extinction.

Now before all the religious types get worked up, let me say a few things: I see myself as a spiritual person. I believe that there is a force that runs through the universe and that there is some kind of karmic scale on which our actions are measured. I find myself occasionally in awe of the things that makes our amazing planet function in such a perfect and precise way.

Let me also say that I find the idea of Jesus as some kind beatnik rabble-rouser akin to John Lennon, spreading love and peace in his sandals in the desert very appealing. I love mysticism and the idea of the Gnostics, the Sufis, and what ever Jewish sect skews from orthodox scripture.

My problem is with the rigidity of faith. The idea that there is only one answer, one book, one faith, whatever that idea may be. It is this idea of one group holding all the answers that terrifies me. That is why I think that it is important for non-religious people to speak out and not be afraid of “offending” people. Our time has come to be heard or else we are forfeiting our freedoms, our ideas, our planet, and our future to, let’s be honest- irrational close-minded people.

In short, religion as it has been practiced and is being practiced today is dangerous, “because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers, think that they do.” I agree with Maher when he says that rational freethinkers need to stand up and not be afraid to offend the faithful. They have steered this ship in the wrong direction for long enough, let us take over for a while.

Take a look at this clip and be sure to watch the film in its entirety it is worth your time.



I also came across this fun little clip about intolerance that I felt was a nice accompaniment to this post: