Honourable Mention: Operation Blood Hunt

This is a 2024 film directed by Louis Mandylor and follows a special ops group pulled together to do a mission during the second world war and, of course there is a supernatural threat, betrayal and such shenanigans. It starts however, with a black and white scene in 1928 with a man (Willy Zogo) who has been injured on the neck and Murphy (Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the Mortal Instruments: City of Bones & Dracula – Season 1). They have a found a box of vials which are shown coloured in the black and white.

Cut forward to 1945 and Murphy runs a bar. A man, Richter (Louis Mandylor), enters and orders meat and booze trying to pay with some form of antiquated coins. He wars a generic black coat with SS symbols on the lapels. Murphy recognises him for what he is and yet still allows a couple of patrons/bouncers to fight with him. Eventually he is about to bite someone, and Murphy suggests if he bites their neck he’ll blow his head off.

stabity stab

Enter the Reverend (Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson) who takes a seat and whiskey. Richter says he knows who he is, and then mentions his father before running at him (there is a blurry effect when the vampire moves fast). Without getting up, the Reverend sticks a sword through the vampire, and then manoeuvres him to a bathroom where he extracts his fangs with pliers. Leaving the bathroom there are two US forces agents (in rather ill-fitting uniforms) waiting for him. They sent the vampire to get his attention – why is never clear – and want the Reverend to do a mission for them, in return they have information they’ll declassify about his father.

Louis Mandylor as Richter

Richter reappears later, whilst the Reverend is on the mission, trying to steal the vials from Murphy, who stakes him – though not through the heart as he wants him to suffer. He ends up letting Richter leave, shoots his leg as he exits the building and allows him to burn in the sun. A black and white flashback shows him with the man – who was the Reverand’s father. The bandage on his neck shows he was bitten by a vampire due to the two points of blood oozing. Murphy gives him a vial of spirit elixir and suggests it’ll hold off transformation for a month. He promises to watch the Reverend’s back as the man leaves, to lose himself out there.

in the sun

And that’s it – a fleeting vampire visitation of a nazi vampire (so coded by the SS badges on a coat that is clearly not a German officer issue) and introduced to give a bit of a muddled backstory around the Reverend, Murphy and the Rev’s missing father (who ended up at the island the mission takes place on, which is home to werewolves and we hear they turned him to try and help with his sickness – that might indicate a werewolf/vampire hybrid but we never see him). A bite turns, staking and sunlight kills, presumably they struggle hunting without fangs (that tends to be the trope when extracted, though it is pretty senseless as, well, knives…). A fleeting visitation.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

The Night of the Chihuahua – review

Director: Guillermo Grillo

Release date: 2012

Contains spoilers

I’m never sure when going in to a horror comedy, the comedy genre is so subjective and, to be fair, in my subjective view many are just unfunny. However, this Argentinean release did amuse me. Very much character driven, one might call it a situation comedy that uses horror tropes (gently) to create the situation the characters find themselves in.

Benjamín Rojas)as Juan

It starts with Juan (Benjamín Rojas) looking for an apartment. Later we found that his parents caught him cheating on his (now ex-)girlfriend, Florencia (Inés Palombo), and this move has been instigated because of that. We get a run through the apartments he views until he finds the one he wants. A note on the photography, which is black and white and sharply done throughout.

Josefina Silveyra as Malena

So his friend Pedro (Talo Silveyra) helps Juan move in – his possessions are few and mostly made up of comic books. He suggests beers with Pedro the following night but Pedro refuses, yet is evasive around the reason why. His friend gone, Juan takes a photo and posts it online. He immediately gets a message from Malena (Josefina Silveyra). He checks her profile and decides she is an attractive goth girl (he briefly met her at a comic convention). We note fangs in one picture. They arrange for her to come round the next night.

not quite a wolf

He is waiting for her to arrive when Pedro arrives. He tells Juan how – four weeks ago – he was walking from a party and became aware of a dog (he suggests wolf) and a man with a gun. He hid in a trash bin but, when he got out, the dog bit him. The bite mark has hair growing out of it. The moon comes out and Pedro changes – but he is more dog than wolf. Something smells tasty – it’s Juan. We then move into two dream moments – one of Pedro talking to his mom, who becomes a dog and one of Juan in his flat when Florencia visits and he tries to get back with her (the dialogue is repeated later when she does visit, but the scene becomes negative where his dream was positive). She eventually shows fang... He wakes and the doorbell goes – it is Malena, and he makes Pedro hide but she hears him (he goes to the toilet as he got an urge to mark territory).

Florencia's dream fangs

The film carries on in that vein. Malena is a vampire and had come to feed on Juan. Her comment after meeting Pedro about what would happen if he bit her and then mentioning hybrids like in Underworld clearly declared that to the viewer before the reveal. This is obfuscated slightly with her confession that she is a furry, in a way to explain her sudden interest in Pedro. The characters are drawn through the situation and the comedy works well but gently because of this, but there is no huge plot, just reaction to the situation. I rather liked this. 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

The Name of Fear Collection: Tales of Anton the Undying – review

Author: Scott Harper

First published: 2022

Contains spoilers  

The Blurb: Rome may have fallen, but its greatest hero still fights to keep the supernatural world in check.

Once a powerful gladiator, Anton is now a vampire enforcer tasked with eliminating creatures that expose the secret supernatural society hidden within our world. But not all monsters are willing to lay low—some passionately yearn for a return to the good old days when they fed openly and dominated humanity. These diehards will go to any lengths to achieve their goal, even if it means destroying Anton. But Anton guards a terrible ancient secret, and those foolish enough to challenge him soon discover there are things even monsters fear.

The review: An original series of stories by Scott Harper, what this collection lacks for in length is more than made up for in crisp, pithy prose that were a joy to read. The author develops an urban fantasy world, with vampires very much at the top of the food chain and primary character Anton the enforcer, or Cacciatore, for his sire and Mortark (or supernatural leader) Bregit. The vampires are powerful in this and thus the enemies they face equally powerful and the stories give a great grounding in the world the author has shaped for the novels. We also get a strong background for Anton – a gladiator before being turned – and all this conspires to make a fine opening for, what I assume to be, a series of stories.

The lore sees a vampire’s aptitude impacted by their first kill and, after the use of a stake to paralyse, they are killed through the trusty triumvirate of behead, immolate and scatter the remains in flowing water (the latter helping to dissipate the dark magic that animates them). They are shapeshifters and can slip through small openings or increase their size.

I really enjoyed this foray into the world of Anton the Undying, was heartened by the inclusion of a mythos aspect, with an old God, and look forward to future stories. Tempered with the fact that the volume is short, 8 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Looking for Something to Suck: The Vampire Stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes – review

Author: R. Chetwynd-Hayes

Editor: Stephen Jones

First published: 2014

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: In these exsanguinating stories, Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes masterfully reinvents the vampire genre as he introduces the reader to a cleaning woman who discovers she is working for Dracula's son; a couple trapped in a house created by the mind of a centuries-old vampire; a young boy whose ancestor is depressed by his undead existence; a creature of darkness that sucks the life-force from its victims, and the unusual offspring of a werewolf and a vampire who is threatened by an obsessed clergyman.

Looking for Something to Suck: The Vampire Stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes collects sixteen tales by the author known as 'Britain's Prince of Chill', including such classics as 'My Mother Married a Vampire', 'The Labyrinth', 'Birth', 'Looking for Something to Suck' and 'The Werewolf and the Vampire'. This first-ever paperback edition features an additional story not contained in the original limited hardcover edition and also includes a foreword by award-winning editor Stephen Jones, new illustrations by Jim Pitts, and an original cover painting by Les Edwards.

The Review: For many R. Chetwynd-Hayes is probably best known for the stories that were converted into film in anthologies From Beyond the Grave and the Monster Club - the latter staring John Carradine as the author himself in the wraparound. I have previously looked at the book of the Monster Club. This anthology captures his vampire stories, including the story that the Monster Club film’s vampire segment was based on, which wasn’t in the original book. The original story, My Mother Married a Vampire, is a lot darker than the filmed version, which was played solely for laughs. That’s not to say that there isn’t humour in the stories, Chetwynd-Hayes adds a pithy, very English humour to all his tales – no matter how dark they become. It is within this particularly English style, with the humour underpinning the macabre that we find the joy of the author, and it is a joy to read.

Probably my favourite, and one of the most unusual, stories in the book is The Labyrinth. In this a couple lost on the moors find a house and are invited in. But the owner describes it as a house that grew and she is not lying, a staked vampire lies in the bowels of the house, physically connected to it as the house itself has grown from the vampire and he, through the house, feeds on those trapped within.

The stories range from the standard vampire to the most unusual and the vampire stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes really do deserve to be on the bookshelf of every vampire fan. Thanks to Ian, who bought me the volume for my birthday. 10 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Race in the Vampire Narrative – review

Editor: U. Melissa Anyiwo

First Published: 2015

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Race in the Vampire Narrative unpacks the vampire through a collection of classroom ready original essays that explicitly connect this archetypal outsider to studies in race, ethnicity, and identity. Through essays about the first recorded vampire craze, television shows True Blood, and Being Human, movies like Blade Trinity and Underworld, to the presentation of vampires of colour in romance novels, graphic novels, on stage and beyond, this text will open doorways to discussions about Otherness in any setting, serving as an alternative way to explore marginality through a framework that welcomes all students into the conversation. Vampires began as terrors, nightmares, the most horrifying of creatures; now they are sparkly antiheroes more likely to kill your dog than drink you to death; commodified, absorbed, and defanged. Race in the Vampire Narrative demonstrates that the vampire serves as a core metaphor for the constructions of race, and the ways in which we identify, manufacture, and commodify marginalized groups. By drawing together disparate discussions of non-white vampires in popular culture, the collection illustrates the ways in which vampires can be used to explicitly help students understand ethnicity in the modern world making this the perfect companion text to any course from First Year Studies, Sociology, History, Cultural Studies, Women's Studies, Criminal Justice, and so much more.

The review: In the same range and a year older than Gender in the Vampire Narrative, this felt a slimmer volume but did much right. There were the odd little moments, such as when Á G Marín suggests that, “Before Bram Stoker and the Dracula mythology, in fact, the stereotypical vampire was not the pale, elegant Central European aristocrat, but a plump, swollen, brownish-skinned Slavic peasant”, which is frankly poppycock. Stoker clearly continued a tradition common through that century of the vampire being a pale, sometimes elegant (sometimes not) European (not necessarily central) Aristocrat that was sparked by Polidori’s the Vampyre and was popularised on stage and through prose.

Be that as it may, this was a brief slip in an otherwise excellent volume – bar two larger issues. I felt Christi Cook, in “There’s No Place Like Home” did her own work a disservice as she concentrated on two Young Adult texts including Estrella’s Quinceañera. Whilst I have not read the text my understanding, and the impression I took from the article, is that it is not a vampire text, not even a supernatural text. As such, giving it prominence in a vampire reference work (as opposed to a work on Race in the Young Adult genre) seemed misplaced.

The other issue – and I guess it is one more of interpretation – was with David Magill’s “Racial Hybridity and the Reconstruction of White Masculinity in Underworld”. Magill drew a racial comparator between the vampires (white) and the lycans (black) and I can see the argument. For me, however, the first film (especially) is actually not a race narrative but a class narrative with the vampires being the bourgeoisie and the lycans the proletariat. The progression of the lower class from slaves/serfs to lower/working class and the eugenic/holocaust aspect drawn in the deathdealers can have a racial aspect, it is true. However, to make that the sole focus of the argument there are aspects that need to be addressed within the argument, namely that the weapon master of the deathdealers, Khan (Robbie Gee), is portrayed by a black actor and whilst the primary warrior of the Lycans, Raze (Kevin Grevioux), is black, the leader of the lycans, Lucian (Michael Sheen), is white. This, at the very least, should have been addressed in the argument.

That said, the writing was strong, the subject matter interesting and it is a valuable volume for the student of the genre. 8 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Monster Squad – review

Writer: Frank Barbiere*

Illustrator: Brent Schoonover*

First Published: 2016 (TPB)

Contains spoilers

*Barbiere And Schooinover were primary writer and illustrator but the collection contains one issue of S.H.I.E.L.D. written by Al Ewing and illustrated by Stefano Casell.

The Blurb: Hidden deep beneath Area 13 lies the clandestine headquarters of S.T.A.K.E. - a top secret division of S.H.I.E.L.D. that houses aliens, mythical beasts and all manner of extra-normals. Now, under the command of legendary soldier - and newly resurrected Life Model Decoy - Dum Dum Dugan, these monsters step out of the shadows and defend the world against threats too dangerous for normal men as the All-New, All-Different, all-too-literal Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D.!

The review: The Howling Commandos are the supernatural side of Marvel’s S.H.I.E.L.D. and in this graphic are made up of Dum Dum Duggan, Warwolf, zombie Jasper Sitwell, Vampire by Night, Man-Thing, Manphibian, Orrgo, Teen Abomination, and Hit-Monkey. Later in the run Glyph also joins the squad.

Clearly, from a TMtV point of view Vampire by Night is our main draw but also, we discover, that unbeknown to S.T.A.K.E., Dracula is being held below Area 13 and is being experimented on – the Dracula story does not come into this volume and we see his incarceration in passing only.

Vampire by Night is the niece of Jack Russell – aka Werewolf by Night. In Marvel comic cannon she has the option of becoming a vampire or werewolf between dusk and dawn – though she is human/powerless during the day and can walk in daylight. We do see her take on wolf form but it is as a wolf and not as a bipedal werewolf.

Actually, the joy of this edition is Dum Dum, the original Duggan died but his consciousness was digitized and is beamed into a supply of robotic bodies, being sent to the next when one is destroyed or very damaged. Stillwell’s zombie form is less articulate than some versions of him.

The story mainly sees the Commandos trying to gel as a team and take on Sphinx – an Egyptian myth orientated villain. It is rip roaring fun and worth a read. 6 out of 10

Realm of the Damned: Tenebris Deos (Graphic Novel) – review

Author: Alec Worley

Illustrator: Pye Parr

First published: 2016

Contains spoilers:

The Blurb: There's no one left to protect us from what lurks in the dark. There's no Hellboy, no Mulder and Scully, no Torchwood or Men in Black coming to save us. The monsters have won.

Our world now belongs to them.

The Vatican's last line of paranormal defence - The Congregation - has finally been overrun by the supernatural forces of darkness. Our heroes are all dead; only the damned remain. Among them is Alberic Van Helsing - addict, murderer, survivor - and the creatures that were once his prey now hunt him across America. But when an apocalyptic evil is resurrected in the forests of Norway, it falls to Van Helsing to become the hunter once again if mankind and monster alike are to see the dawn.

Van Helsing's quest for salvation and survival takes him through the ruins of a neo-gothic Europe, where he must face the vampire queen of the Vatican, a man-made monster with the heart of a storm, the lycanthropic lord of the forest, the mummified ruler of the slums of Cairo, and the crazed vampire demi-god who threatens to devour them all.

The review: I previously looked at the motion comic of this graphic novel and was a tad disappointed, though I did wonder how well the story would do in comic book form rather than faux-animation.

The graphic was, more or less, exactly the same story wise. I didn’t notice much of anything in this that had been cut from the running length of the motion comic. However Van Helsing’s back story was held back until much later in the story. I don’t intend to run through the story, therefore, as the previous review covers that. Pacing wise this did suit the page rather than the screen and suggests there isn’t a guaranteed medium crossover with regards pacing. Indeed it allowed a slower pace to take in the story and art as needed/desired.

However, the greatest improvement in this was having the character voices supplied by my own mind. The voice-acting in the motion comic was generally poor and the character voices didn’t crossover but, rather, my mind supplied new voices to the characters. In this way the graphic became much more accessible and superior. 6 out of 10.

Realm of the Damned: Tenebris Deos – review

Director: Tom Paton

Release date: 2017

Contains spoilers

Realm of the Damned is a motion comic, meaning that it is a graphic novel that has had the original art manipulated into animation, with soundtrack and voice acting added. In honesty I am not sure about the concept of the motion comic, it definitely lacks the flow of a traditional animation and whilst it can be said to bring the art to life, it also loses the reader’s inner voice interpretation.

The Graphic novel is of the same name and was written by Alec Worley and illustrated by Pye Parr, and I will look at that as a separate entity at some point in the future to see if it holds together as a read better than this did as a watch. The DVD has also spawned a fictional black metal band, the Sons of Balaur, who are credited with the soundtrack.

back in the day

The comic opens with an introduction to primary (anti-)hero Alberic Van Helsing (David Vincent), who gives a potted history of his young son succumbing to what he believed to be cholera, of his discovery of evil supernatural creatures in the world and of him becoming a self-appointed nemesis to them. The story then moves forward to an alternative modern setting. One in which Van Helsing has been using vampire blood to maintain his life.

Balaur reborn

Over in Norway the members of the Sons of Balaur are in a church and one band member, Thomas (Chris Casket), has had the others turn on guitarist Kristopher. The guitarist believed they were going to burn the church down, and this is true, but before that occurs they force him to wear a relic called the Mask of Balaur and nobble him with a crowbar to stop him fleeing. Outside they wait and the being that emerges from the burning church is not Kristopher but the reincarnated Balaur (Dani Filth). He kills the band, bar Thomas, who he makes his familiar.

Van Helsing

Van Helsing goes to a venue where the Damned are playing. He follows a man and woman from the gig and interrupts her feeding on the guy, using her to supply himself with vampire blood. Following this he goes to confession but the church is raided by SWAT hunting him down. He escapes into the sewers but is soon caught and taken to Rome. Now I said this was an alternate world and it is one in which the monsters have taken ascendancy. The Congregation (the Vatican’s hunters) has fallen and the New Congregation has taken the seat of Rome and they are vampires.

King of the Werewolves

They caught Van Helsing by using the female vampire as a lure and putting some form of tracer in her blood. The vampire he is taken to, Athena (Jill Janus), is Balaur’s sister and murderer and she wants Van Helsing to track him down and destroy him before he can get to her. Balaur, in the meantime, is hunting down powerful creatures (including the King of the Werewolves and an Egyptian Mummy) to try and take their powers. When we get his back story we discover that Balaur rode with Vlad Ţepeş and became a monster amongst monsters.

the Mummy

There are some interesting lore elements to this – for instance Van Helsing attempts to re-sanctify the Vatican (despite his stolen longevity making him as susceptible to sanctified objects as the vampires) and this would have worked were it not for hearing the news of Balaur’s return, which stopped the process. Indeed there is a strong religious aspect to this tale. What let it down was the narrative, which wasn’t as flowing as I would have liked – I wonder whether this will work better in the original format – and the voice acting. This veered between overly melodramatic and insufferably wooden, but it did drag the experience down. I liked aspects of this, however, and will happily suggest 4 out of 10.

At the time of writing the review there was not an IMDb page.

Undead Apocalypse: Vampires and Zombies in the 21st Century – review

Author: Stacey Abbott

First published: 2017

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Exploring how the figure of the vampire has been infused with the language of science, disease and apocalypse, while the zombie text has increasingly been influenced by the trope of the 'reluctant' vampire, Stacey Abbott shows how both archetypes are actually two sides of the same undead coin.

The review: I really enjoy Stacey Abbott’s work and this academic tome walks a line that would seem an obvious focus in the study of the media vampire – exploring the dynamics between the vampire and the zombie.

Now, of course, the zombie underwent a metamorphosis from unfortunate victim of voodoo to the cinematic phenomena we know today through the work of George Romero and, in particular, Night of the Living Dead (I am aware that there were other examples, but Romero is recognised as the primary catalyst). We also know that the film itself was part-inspired by Matheson’s I am Legend and so the vampire birthed the modern zombie (or at least acted as midwife).

Abbott argues that Matheson made the vampire literally a bacteria within the blood (I have to point out that the name ‘virus’ is used in the book interchangeably but a virus is not a bacteria). Although the book does mention the film later it would have been apropos at this point to highlight that Universal actually got there sooner in House of Dracula, in which the vampirism is caused by (and thus is) a parasite in the blood.

In the second chapter – entitled Cancer With a Purpose – Abbott holds a discussion that touches on the alarmist tabloid headlines that have surrounded outbreaks in recent years and that includes SARS. It would have been fitting to have mentioned the film Sars Wars (as obscure as it is) not only because it has the sars connection but because it was a zombie (or infected) film that gave the creatures fangs. I settled on the idea that it was zompire and that was something I felt was missing from the discussion – that merging of the two creatures. So when we had a chapter on hybrids we looked at more obvious hybrids but not at the zompire. The hybrid section did explore such characters as Alice from Resident Evil and Selene from Underworld and explored the importance of the costuming within the depiction. At that point perhaps a touchpoint with Irma Vep would have been interesting to explore.

The book did touch on the idea that the zombie, on pre-millennial TV, was often a monster of the week, whilst the vampire had its own series. However many of the examples cited were shows that also featured the vampire as the creature of the week in other episodes – not invalidating the premise and argument but worth noting. I did think that suggesting the clawing out of the grave imagery being a zombie trope a misfire as it is as much (if not more) a vampire trope.

I touch these points almost in debate however, as the book was a well written and well researched volume that is well worth a read for both fans of the zombie film and the vampire film if they like to read an academic tome (notwithstanding the very high price tag). 8.5 out of 10.

Underworld: Blood Wars – review

Director: Anna Foerster

Release date: 2016

Contains spoilers

This is the fifth Underworld film and my thoughts on the other films in the series can be found at the following links: Underworld, Underworld Evolution¸ Underworld: Rise of the Lycans & Underworld Awakening. Unusually this was the first Underworld film I didn’t see at the cinema – because my most local cinema didn’t show it! Therefore I waited for the DVD.

Now I have a bit of a complex relationship with the series. I really like the first two films (despite one of the performances in the first film) as great action films with a vaguely vampiric story (I say vaguely because it is not overt and could actually stand to have more overt vampiric activity). I was somewhat disappointed with the third film because, as a prequel, it had no sense of danger (we already knew the protagonist and antagonist both survived). The fourth film I actually liked more than others – but not as much as the first two. How would film five hold up?

Kate Beckinsale as Selene

Not brilliantly, to be honest. We get a quick resume of the first films (which manages to get part of the story order wrong – or at least the dialogue allowed such an interpretation) and then we are straight into action as Selene (Kate Beckinsale, Underworld films I, II & IV, & Van Helsing) is chased on a motorbike by a group of goons. She is caught and fights, having been shot with (I guess) harpoon like projectiles to try and capture her. She is joined by David (Theo James, Underworld IV) and the goons are revealed to be lycans (or werewolves to you and I) who are trying to capture Selene for new Lycan leader Marius (Tobias Menzies).

Theo James as David

Selene leaves one lycan alive but wounded to send the message that she doesn’t know where her daughter Eve is (as Marius is trying to get to Eve, and her blood, through her mother). David has been shot and Selene gets him to a vampire safehouse (despite the fact that she has a death sentence judgement passed against her) to remove the projectile, which seems to be burrowing into David faster than he can heal. It turns out to be a drill like thing (that stops turning as soon as removed) and is also described (by the lycans) as a tracer. Suddenly vampires are at the safehouse (it was easy to find her they say).

Charles Dance as Thomas

They are from the last great coven – the Eastern coven. At the request of council member Semira (Lara Pulver, da Vinci’s Demons: The Devil & True Blood), David’s father Thomas (Charles Dance, Underworld IV, Going Postal, Viy (2014) & Dracula Untold) has convinced the vampire council to grant Selene safe passage so that she can train a new generation of Deathdealers (lycan killing troops). They leave, Selene way too easily swayed, as a troop of lycans approach the safehouse.

It means nothing to me... Oh, Vienna

What struck me – as we saw the coven (again an attempt to recreate Ultravox’s Vienna video) in their giant, city central (it would appear) fortress and the lycans all hanging around the main railway station, fighting in wolfman form around the boxcars, is just what were the humans doing? The fourth film established that lycans and vampires has been revealed to the humans who had relentlessly hunted both groups down. This seems to have been utterly forgotten. The rest of the film has betrayal, fighting and some not as good as previous films transformations.

a Lycan

However, for me, it was a story too far. It did nothing new and interesting (except – perhaps – around Selene, an aspect I can’t spoil but was notable for not actually exploring what happened satisfactorily). Likewise, as Selene and David go into the frozen wastes to search out the mysterious Northern coven they (presumably) disembark their train by jumping off in the middle of nowhere (this was implied not shown) and then suddenly are riding mysteriously appearing horses – where’d they come from? What could have bolstered the film was the action but when you compare it to the first two films (the second especially) it lacked the big action set pieces that added a wow factor.

Lara Pulver as Semira

Ok, there are worse out there but this was not hitting the mark for me. 4 out of 10 is generous and reflects the fact that I have a soft-spot for the franchise still, even if this didn’t light my fire.

The imdb page is here.

The Originals – season 1 – review

Director: various

First aired: 2013/2014

Contains spoilers

A spin off from teen vampire series The Vampire Diaries, indeed the pilot episode was part of season 4 of the original show, the Originals follows the trials and tribulations of the original vampires – in the form of the siblings Klaus (Joseph Morgan), Elijah (Daniel Gillies, True Blood) and Rebekah (Claire Holt) – although we should note that Klaus is a vampire/werewolf hybrid.

The Vampire Diaries is an odd old show. The first season was awful for the first four episodes and then pulled itself up to a competent level of watchability. However as the seasons have gone on the show became lost, to the point that at season 4 I felt that the creators had plumb run out of ideas.

Daniel Gillies as Elijah

With that in mind I hoped that the originals would give it back a spark of creativity and, with the focus on adult (looking) characters, set in bars rather than high school, we might get a level of maturity setting in. After all the Mikaelson siblings are all interesting characters and, should they get decent storylines built into the series, there would be much they could do with it. Sadly that didn’t happen.

Marcel and Klaus

Having moved back to New Orleans, Klaus discovers that Marcel (Charles Michael Davis), a vampire he created, holds the French Quarter in a powerful grip. He has prevented the witches from using magic, cleared the place of werewolves and has an understanding with the human authorities. Klaus wants to know his secret and wants control of the town. Meanwhile the witches have lured Klaus to town by using Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin) – a werewolf who has become pregnant with Klaus’ child (a baby that will be born a hybrid like the father) – to try and illicit the original's help.

Claire Holt as Rebekah

This then leads to plenty of double dealing and this is also where the show fell on its backside, for me anyway. Every single episode saw allegiances change and/or a new plot strand revealed. Rather than build a solid story the writers fell back on twisted allegiances as a – quite frankly – lazy plot device. The entire season twisted and turned like a twisty turny thing so that the viewer just patiently awaited the next episode-by-episode reveal, and nothing the narrative threw at you was shocking as a result.

occasional blood cannot save us

There is no more lore to explain beyond that which was already revealed through the Vampire Diaries and whilst the idea of a more adult version of the show still appeals, and whilst the three core characters are still all very interesting, the season was distinctly average, indeed dipping below average with its incessant soap-opera-like loyalty switches. 4.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Being Human (US – Season 3) – review

Director: Various

First aired: 2013

Contains spoilers


Whilst Being Human was a brilliant concept, the BBC production went steadily downhill season upon season. The UK Season 3 had me stating, “when it is good it is very, very good but when it is bad it is a little like snogging a rotting, animated corpse, leaving a bad taste in the viewer's mouth.” Not so its American doppelgänger, which is consistently high quality.

Sam Huntingtin as Josh

Let me take my quote as a point in case. The reason I mentioned the rotting corpse was down to an episode that featured a zombie character (and a necrophilic rotting kiss). It was an excellent episode that was a one off and entered into for comedic effect. The reason that the zombie came to be was roughly story related but didn’t stand too much scrutiny in the grand scheme. The US season 3 also features zombies but their introduction is entirely story based, entered into for dramatis reasons, makes sense in the universe and is a featured plot point.

Sally in Limbo

So, Season 2 left us with Sally the ghost (Meaghan Rath) banished to limbo and Aidan the vampire (Sam Witwer, Angel & Dark Angel: Love in Vein) buried alive as a punishment. This season starts 18 months later. Josh (Sam Huntington, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night) is no longer a werewolf, having killed his maker (Andreas Apergis) but the lifting of the curse has not passed down the line to his girlfriend Nora (Kristen Hager, Valemont). They have spent the last 18 months going from psychic to psychic trying to get a line on Sally to no avail. They have also been questioning vampires to try and find Aidan.

Henry contracts the virus

Unfortunately the vampires have had their own problems – in that they are dying out as a race. A flu strain has swept across the world and it seems it was mild from a human point of view (if a pandemic) as we get the idea that it knocked an infected person out for a couple of weeks but no sense that it was deadly. Unfortunately it has left the blood of any infected person poisonous to vampires. They contract the disease and quickly, over a matter of days, turn to dust. Taking advantage of this, the werewolves are hunting the remaining vampires down whilst they are weak with hunger. Aidan finds himself dug out of the ground and turned into a one-man blood farm as there is a thought amongst the vampires that his missing of the pandemic event will cure them – it does not. Once liberated Aidan meets with his vampiric son, Henry (Kyle Schmid, Blood Ties), who has a unique method of staying fed – until Aidan wrecks it and Henry becomes infected.

Amy Aquino as Donna

Meanwhile Josh and Nora have been directed to a witch, Donna (Amy Aquino), who can return Sally from Limbo but not as a ghost. Using the heart of someone Josh has killed and Sally’s exhumed body Donna is able to return her to life. There is a catch, however, Sally cannot see anyone from her life and a complication in that she pulls her friends Stevie (Robert Naylor) and Nick (Pat Kiely) out of limbo too (they awaken in their coffins off screen and are rescued by Josh). Sally soon finds that the catch is very real as anyone she meets, from her life, dies.

Sally is feeling zombiefied

What Sally dies not know is that Donna consumes their souls – she is over three hundred years old and essentially an energy vampire. When Sally sees her brother (Jesse Rath, My Babysitter’s a Vampire) she begs Donna’s help and Donna cuts her a deal, allowing her to see people from her past in return for her soul. The curse is also lifted from Nick and Stevie, as they are all connected, but all three begin to suffer an insatiable hunger and then start to rapidly rot from the inside out. Only live flesh satisfies the hunger and soon only human flesh will do – they are the zombies I mentioned and they are full on flesh eaters but with enough sentience to be tortured over it.

Aiden's past

I don’t want to spoil how the season goes any further (I needed to touch on the zombie issue though) but I will say that we get to see Aidan’s mortal life and turning, a pureblood werewolf comes into Josh and Nora’s life and the season ends up with the genesis of a brand new monster. However, all this goes to explain why this holds together so much better than the UK version, the storylines are thought through and clearly tested against the series’ own internal logic. For instance the entire thing with Sally and Limbo matches the Annie storyline from the UK except why Sally goes over makes more sense (Annie’s plight was caused by guardians who were then steadfastly ignored) and how she came back made more sense too.

The acting, throughout, is good. The production values high. But it is the ongoing strong storyline and internal logic that makes this one of the best (and most underrated) supernatural shows on TV. 8 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

The Monster Club – review

Author: R. Chetwynd-Hayes

First Published: 1976

Contains spoilers

The blurb: Hidden beneath the streets of London is a dark and dreadful establishment known as The Monster Club, where vampires indulge in a rather different kind of Bloody Mary and ghouls tear into their gruesome repasts. Here, along with the usual monsters - vampires, werewolves, ghouls, and some of Dr Frankenstein's more freakish creations - you'll find other, less familiar ones. You'll meet the frightening Fly-by-Night, the hideous shaddy, the horrible mock, and the dreaded shadmock, perhaps the most terrible of all.

When Donald McCloud offers a starving man a meal, he unexpectedly discovers that the man is a vampire - and he's the main course! Accompanying the vampire, Eramus, to The Monster Club, Donald encounters a whole host of strange monsters, who, in a series of five linked stories, recount to Donald their monstrous exploits. But as Donald is regaled with these tales of monsters and their unfortunate human victims, it gradually dawns on him that as the only human in a club full of bloodthirsty monsters, he might be in a bit of a predicament. . . .

First published as a paperback original in 1976, R. Chetwynd-Hayes's The Monster Club was adapted for a 1981 film starring Vincent Price, John Carradine and Donald Pleasence, and both book and film have gone on to become cult classics. Told in a wry, tongue-in-cheek style, the tales in The Monster Club are simultaneously horrific, comical, and curiously moving. This edition is the first in more than twenty years and features a new introduction by Stephen Jones and a reproduction of John Bolton's painting from the comic book adaptation of the film.

The review: Though I gave the vampire section of the film the Monster Club a respectable 6 out of 10, the film as a whole is a favourite from my youth and is more than the sum of its parts. Readers may not be aware, however, that the film was based on this book. Or should I say in part based, whilst the film section the Village of Momsters was a rather accurate filming of the story in the book the Humgoo, the Shadmock section of the film was more a very loose adaptation seemed to borrow elements of a couple of the stories within as well as make much up and the above mentioned My Mother Married a Vampire was actually based on a story from a different Chetwynd-Hayes anthology.

The book takes the form of a portmanteau, with prologue, epilogue and interludes introducing human Douglas to vampire Eramus and then to the monster club itself. Within are five stories. The first is the story of the Vampire and the Werewolf, told by their hybrid offspring Manfred the werevamp. The next three stories centre on hybrids of one sort or another (though the story of the Mock involves some full on vampire characters too) and the final story is of the Fly-by-night, an Australian monster now found as an immigrant in Britain.

The joy of R. Chetwynd-Hayes is in his inventiveness and also in the actual prose. It is a sprightly style with an ever present undercurrent of humour that works especially well for its dark nature. The book was devoured by me in a day and left me hungry for more of Chetwynd-Hayes’ prose.

The vampire lore is fairly standard – sunlight burns, crosses repel and a stake through the heart followed by decapitation finishes one off. The main piece of lore however is a cross-monster rule that suggests “vampires sup, werewolves hunt, ghouls tear, shaddies lick, maddies yawn, mocks blow, but shadmocks only whistle”. To get to the bottom of that lore I’ll direct you to the book and say no more as I really don’t want to spoil the stories at all. Of course the book does come highly recommended. 9 out of 10.

Vampire Diaries – season 4 – review

Director: various

First aired: 2012-2013

Contains spoilers

I’d said, when I watched Season 3 of this show, that it was losing me. This season it definitely lost me.

At its heart, if you like that sort of thing, I guess there is a show that might offer something but to me it felt like the creators of the show had plumb run out of ideas.

Elena feeds

At the end of last season Elena (Nina Dobrev) was turned into a vampire and so that is a major thread of this season – she’s a vampire, she doesn’t want to feed, she’s sired (essentially an emotional slave) to emasculated bad boy vampire Damon (Ian Somerhalder), she’s switched her emotions off and become a psychopath, they’re on and overwhelming her – all whilst looking for a cure for her. That sums it up and it annoyed, she annoyed and it wasn’t Nina Dobrev’s fault because she was good as Katherine (her doppelganger) so it must have been a writing/direction issue.

Kat Graham as Bonnie 

The main thread is that there was a witch, Silas, who became immortal and, when the powerful witch who did this discovered he loved another, was magically frozen in place with a cure to his immortality in his hand. The idea being that he could kill himself (or a hunter could kill him, we’ll get to them). As this would mean he spent eternity with his love the witch created the other side – a limbo for magical creatures who die, so that he would never reach his love (in heaven, we assume). So the show sees him manipulating events – local witch Bonnie (Kat Graham) is the key to lowering the veil (as the removal of the other side is called) – and he is the new big bad.

Silas in tomb

There were several problems with this. Firstly Bonnie allows herself to be manipulated despite magic that involves sacrificing 36 people (the murder of 12 humans and 12 hybrid werewolves/vampires occurs before she finds out but she goes along with the slaughter of 12 witches), which just didn’t gel. Secondly he’s a vampire and yet we have already met the original vampires. Thirdly it is pointed out that he can’t do magic and yet can get in everyone’s heads and make them see what he wants (whilst vampires can manipulate a dream state that is much further than that). Fourthly, with limbo gone why would every supernatural creature killed come back to life (as the show maintains) surely they’d finally pass over to heaven/hell or whatever pixie-land awaits them?

Ian Somerhalder as Damon

Whilst all this is going on the Damon character is still emasculated. The scripts tried to give him an edge but it was unbelievable – probably because (as a friend pointed out) Damon was a bad assed, serial killing sociopath who everyone now simply accepts. The same can be said of original vampire (and werewolf hybrid) Klaus (Joseph Morgan) who you can see being manoeuvred into a sympathetic position when it was his ruthlessness that made him a fun character. This is partly to do with the fact that the original vampires are getting a spin-off show, entitled (with originality) as The Originals. This series was 23 episodes as a disjointedly positioned introduction episode for that series had to be crowbarred in. Beyond that the series felt about as twice as long as the thin storyline demanded. It was like the story had no steam to propel it on – new character April (Grace Phipps) underlined this as she was introduced but then had precisely zero (bar some cipher work) to do.

a hunter and magic tattoo

I mentioned the hunters and this brings us to the subject of annoying coincidences. It transpires that there are five hunters, sporting mystical tattoos that grow when they kill vampires, created by witches to kill vampires but, more specifically, Silas. The Original vampires met them only once in their long lives and yet we come across two in this episode and, as they are replaced when they die, Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) becomes one as well. We never see Silas’ face, even his messed up ‘true face’ is a lie, and this is because it turns out at the end of the series that Silas has a doppelganger who is someone we know well in the series. Another annoying coincidence.

perhaps the show needs a stake?

There are plot holes I can’t mention due to them being a spoiler too far, but the show – for me – was poor both because of these and because it had no forward impetus. I said last review if they kept travelling in the direction they had chosen it would drop to being a below average show. It has. 4 out of 10 – and I was tempted to drop a little lower still.

The season's imdb page is here.