The Yin and Yang

Events take place in around one week…
Not following any order…

Randomly:

Scenario #1: Queue at a supermarket cashier, a couple in front of us.

The woman accidentally dropped some of her items. I helped to pick it up for her, put it back, alongside her other items. Stoned face, she didn’t say thanks… it’s ok, I didn’t ask anything in return. But she could have smiled or at least looked back at me, a simple gesture. What happen to “Budi Bahasa Amalan Kita” isssh…

*****************


Scenario #2 :Hanging out with friends in Prangin's McDonalds.

After meal and chats, went to Surau for Zuhur prayers. My phone rang.

PenyiasatMisteri: “Hello… ada kat mana sekarang?”


Miss Dompet Itam: “Uhh.. Siapa ni ye?”


PenyiasatMisteri: “Saya jumpa dompet akak…Akak kat mana sekarang?”


Warkhhhh… I left my wallet and I didn’t even realize that
I am Lucky that:

1. I was thinking of going back straight home, but then changed my mind, went to the Surau instead for my prayers. If not, I would have been half way home and had to come back for my wallet
2. that young guy, who works in McD made to effort to trace me. McD is lucky to have honest staff like him :D Marilah makan di McD… chewaah promote plak!
3. earlier that morning, I went to Petronas to fuel up my car. I presented my Mesra Petronas Card to swap for points, the cashier asked me to write my name and phone number behind the card. In case I dropped my card, people can return it to me. Hahahha.. Did she have premonition that I was going to misplace my wallet later that day?? Uuu…. X-Files!

***********************


Scenario #3: Driving alone, at night.

I stopped at a traffic light, a smooth stop, I wasn’t speeding anyway. The car behind me stopped, then suddenly, it jerked off and hit my bumper… kebooom!!! It was quite late at night, and was quite a distance away from campus. The driver, a woman around 40 of age. We got down, she gave me her number to contact her to claim for the damage. Since both of us are woman, I didn’t want to risk attracting attention from possible road gangsters, I took her words since she looked trustworthy.

2 days after that, after some negotiations…. I was losing. The woman is kinda nice, but when her husband got involved, he didn’t want to pay for full repair, insisting that he would only be responsible for the part where it got hit, meaning not agreeing to pay for the whole bumper repaint.

They did agree to pay for the repair if we send to their mechanic… How can I be convinced when the mechanic said he would only paint on the spot it hit (the bumper will look hideous ok)… and with the husband saying that he can pay lesser price to this mechanic, it certainly didn’t give me an impression that it'll be a good repair. (more like cukup makan oni). Plus, it was not convenient for me to send my dad’s car to his mechanic at that time. My dad was in KL, and I had no one to fight for me. I hate to fight or beg, therefore I had no choice but to settle for the half compensation. I feel so helpless. Please tell me I should not give up on being nice to people.

*********************************


Actually there were several other things happened, and I was rushing the whole week. So many things happened unexpectedly that I had hard time adjusting and trying to settle as many things as possible. At one point, I was constantly whining in my head…

Scenario #4: In the midst of all the rush…

Drove into campus. 4.30pm. I needed to get to the office to take some forms by 5pm. The Pak Guard stopped me… I was like “ooooh no….Not now……”

PakGuard BerUniform: Student ke Staff?
Gadis Gabra: Student

PakGuard BerUniform: Nak pergi mana?
Gadis Gabra: Nak pergi Skool di bla bla bla

PakGuard BerUniform: Boleh tak tumpangkan student baru yang nak mendaftar? Ke Indah Kembara (hostel area)

He asked whether can I take a new student to Indah Kembara. I looked at where he was pointing. I saw the mom, with some luggage… but where’s the student?

PakGuard BerUniform: Student Warga Emas…
pointing at the elderly woman, about late 50’s / early 60's)

Gadis Gabra: Boleh… Masuk-masuk

= In the car. =

Gadis Gabra: Makcik datang dari mana?
Makcik_yg_Tenang: Dari Kuala Selangor…. Naik bas pagi tadi…

We chatted... But I can’t help but wonder, why was she all by herself? She took a bus all the way from Kuala Selangor... Why didn’t someone accompany her or send her here?

Reached Indah Kembara. I took down her luggage - a trolley luggage bag and medium sized plastic bag. The trolley bag, it looked liked it just waded through rain and had some dried weed particles across it. It's like depicting the journey Makcik_yg_Tenang went through…. Ya Allah, I felt so ashamed. Makcik_yg_Tenang didn’t even show a sight of tiredness nor complained about coming here all by herself, changing buses and apparently she was waiting for a bus down the hill at the guard house, but there were no buses in campus during orientation week. She looked all set and ready for the new challenge… So much energy for a woman her age…

So I whined a little there didn’t I? (scenario 3) To respect Makcik’s will and power, I’ll stop whining in here about the other so called series of unfortunate events…. I am back to being motivated! I owe that to Makcik_yg_Tenang. Terima Kasih :-)


In conclusion:
Sometimes the world (or people) can be harsh… yes… we need to stand up for ourselves… But never use that reason to be BAD or discourteous. It's a Yin and Yang world... Which one is YOU?

P/S: I can be nice... in some cases, to certain limitations only ;-)

Vanakam... Saree for Show :P

Hmm…here, let’s stroll down memory lane a lil and check out my history with Saree. cheh... konon. In our (my sisters and I) teenage years, my mom requested we took photos wearing Sarees. Mom used to wear sarees in her younger years, and I guess she wants to see us wearing one at least once. I rebelled over it, being a tomboy at that time, Saree seemed to be too feminine and I didn’t want to be seen wearing it even for still photos. I escaped.

Then during my Uni convocation, mom proposed again - wear saree with the convocation robe at home and take some photos. By that time, long gone were my tomboy years, so I agreed. (actually kinda excited). I even tried the Gujarat look. My neighbor is an expert in Saree tying, she would help us tie the Saree for these ‘special Photo sessions' :P

Traditionally, Muslims in India would use the Saree cloth itself to drape it over to cover their hair, and the Saree will be tied neatly to cover the tummy area. Some modern approach suggests this.

Will I be confident enough to wear saree to open events? Jeng jeng jeng... After eyeing for some opportunities… decided to attack Seeta’s wedding, hehehe.

In order to boost up my confidence level, I came up with the Saree-Gang plan. Jane said YES almost immediately and Elena jumped in the wagon with excitement and no hesitation. Marlina was thrilled coz she has been encouraging from the very beginning. As written by Jane, we had a pact! = keep it a secret and as a surprise for our bridey fren, Seeta.

I have my sister’s Saree, but I needed some accessory. Jane needed a Saree. So, Jane and I went for Saree shopping at Little India, Penang before the wedding. We had fun shopping despite the global warming :P Jane got her Saree tailored, therefore she doesnt need to tie it the traditional way.

The day came… Haha excitednya! With Aunty Kala's help, my Saree looked in tact, and covered the body perfectly. Thank youuu very much :* We were a bit shy at first, but once the camera started to flash around... the model in us took center stage :P But, I must admit, I am wayyy more poised walking in Saree... heheh

Mission Accomplished. I finally get to wear Saree and most importantly.. with my lovely frens... :D:D

Last but not least,

Congratulations to Seeta and Munis...

Kopi campur Susu = Otak dan Jantung sihat?

Are you mixed blood?

Surprisingly, I still get that question. Why? Because I have small and pointed eyes a.k.a. Sepet! Mixed blood? Yes, I am! I’m mixed of O and B. My dad is an O blood type; whereas my mom is a B blood type :-) I am mixed.

Normally, people won’t take that as an answer… why oh why?

So what am I? Indian? Malay? Chinese? Bidayuh? Minah Salleh? Latina? When I was young, I get nicknamed ‘Japanese kid’. Mom said, I got a lot pinches on my cheek because I was chubby and fair. Grrrrr….

I still remember, it was distressing… people kept saying I was fairer than my sisters. I didn’t like to be differentiated from them. I looked into the mirror and kept wondering, why was I fairer than my sisters? I kept praying I’d become darker. (~wish granted, haha) Why were my eyes so small? I wanted big round eyes (~i love my sepet eyes now). I wanted to look like my elder sister and have my younger sis’ hair (~ tamak kan aku?), so that we looked like a team. Oh gosh… Lucky me, the dilemma ended when I began to accept myself just the way I am at quite an early age.

When people get curious about my ethnicity; it’s fun to share because I am somehow promoting mixed heritage. But sometimes, it does feel weird, asked in a wrong way, they’d make you feel as though as “what” you are, is more important than “who” you are.

So if you are wondering What am I? I have one simple answer for you:

I,
I am a Malaysian.

Yes, I wanted to be darker when I was younger, and maybe I’d prefer to date a guy darker than me, I dunno about that yet… Haha :P But… I have no issues about people with dark or fair skin, or whatever their preferences towards this. For me, my concern about my skin is not the color but the complexion which I’m having some problem with. *acne*acne*kill*kill* (bimbo mode :P)

I don’t mind if some people try very hard to make themselves look fairer and use tones of whitening products, simply because it’s their choice to make (and tanning products to get tanned :P). And it’s not an issue too when someone prefers to look for life partner from certain race or color because this too, is related to preferences, familiarity and taste. Well, some ppl just fall in love regardless; and everything becomes fuzzy, hihi.

Moving to a wider scope…

What makes it hard to accept is… when people use skin color to differentiate people, to judge, or look down on people and so on.

It’s hard to change society and people, but we can change ourselves and our mindset. Do have faith and believe that even a small entity can make changes for a better tomorrow *I sound preachy lah pulak!* Mwahahaha… ok.. back to serious mode!

Before we start accusing people for being oppressive… ask ourselves, how nice are we? How good are we, in not being judgmental and prejudice towards people based on color, race, religion, economical status, standards etc. Just stop pointing fingers only to overcome your own frustrations.

If you are a Malaysian, be proud to be one and to declare as one (no matter which part of the globe you are in). Instead of bashing here and there, you can start spreading some love by living in the society and not separating them even more. Hate is not going to get us anywhere…


Black or white, Yellow or brown… we are all the same = we cannot live or function without a heart and a brain ;-)

Akhir Kata...

"Tepuk dada tanya selera."
(psst.. selera saya adalah nasi kandar kari banjir... hohohohoho)

Tak Kenal Maka Tak Cinta...

• A: Can you believe this soap? Why is that woman wearing such a heavy make-up going to sleep? =Looking at the TV=
• Z: Isk Isk… dramatic sungguh…
• A: Eh... wow… the Waja’s sport rim super cun lah! =Looking at one of the cars parked outside the restaurant=
• Z: Hmmm… I’ll save some money and have mine changed too next year.

Look right, Look left… front... nothing interesting at that moment…

• A: Should I start writing that letter tomorrow?
• Z: You should... and also finish up the photo-editing, and also start compiling your literature reviews. Keep that in mind.
• A: Ouh.. so much work need to be done, Haishh….
• Z: Dun worry, be positive… Slow and steady wins the race =smiling positively=
• A: Weeee, here comes my Roti Pisang
• Z: uuu.. still hot… where’s the fork and spoon eh?

…….

This dialog can go on forever. A and Z are the same person = me! That’s me and an example of a dialog I have when I’m dining alone. When I dine with someone, its 2 ways communication therefore I make way to listen. On the other hand, eating alone, I talk and talk... non-stop. The difference is - no one can hear my inner voice.

What is wrong with eating alone? Haha…

Some people prefer to ‘tapau’ (take-away) food rather than eating alone in a public place –restaurants etc. I used to be like that, until recent years. Undeniably, I prefer and love dining with friends, but sometimes when no one is available at that time, and I am sooo hungry I could eat a dinosour (sambil perut menari2 dangdut gerudi)… I will just hit a café or a restaurant and eat alone (but sometimes I tapau too).

But Yaaah… eating alone is kinda tricky… I can entertain myself to the extent I can be very close to laughing out loud; or seeing interesting things around, I have a tendency of changing my facial expression according to that. Euwww… creepy and so weirdo ok! Never do that in public wek! I’m getting good at controlling it… haha… (takut kena cop psiko)

Yesterday nite… I ate alone… at this mamak restaurant nearby campus. The humongous TV was playing yet another soap drama, about some hantu keliwon kot. I ordered pasemboq and waited for my food to arrive, emptily watching the TV while I was having my usual az-to-az chat.

Suddenly a man around 40+ of age came to my table and held on to the chair diagonally opposite of me.

• A: Ohh.. he wants to take the chair…
• Z: Erkk.. but there’s so many empty tables around.

Then, he pulled the chair and sat.

• Errr… excuse me… why is he sitting here?
• Omg… is he going to lecture me for something I did? What did I do just now? =Usual paranoid attack=
• Nah... he won’t attack… this is a public, open place.

I looked at him… he looked back.

He looked relaxed.

I looked back… he looked at me blankly.

• Z: Ok… this is scarryyy…… Atta… help!!!!!

I looked back at him , my face expression all distorted with confusion and some hints of fear. He looked back and snapped

• Encik Konpius: Ehhhhhh…. Alamakkk!! Ehh...Salah meja!!! =Looking shocked and startled=

me =terlopong luas=

• Encik Konpius: ...saya ingat bini saya…. Ehhh! bini saya kat situ.

He thot I was his wife?? He quickly stood up, pointing to where his wife is seated; two tables away, behind me.

• Encik Konpius: Errr.. minta maaf.. minta maaf… salah orang.
• Me, Dazed: ha… err.. oh… takpa-takpa…. (its ok)

He quickly walked back to his wife. Behind me, a table with a group of girls, giggling “Dia salah meja ka… hihihi”

I sat there, didn’t want to turn around. I was confused for a while... and then I wanted to laugh... I wanted to laugh out LOUD… but how could I??? I am eating ALONE!!!! Haissshhh…. These are some of the challenges of dining all by yourself!

I finished my meal. Then walking to the counter, I passed by the couple. Both of them smiled coyly. They were going back themselves, and were getting in their car by the time I came out.

• Encik Konpius: Sorry naa tadi.. tersilap meja. terkejut ka tadi
• Missy Dazed: =smiling politely= Ha’ahh.. errr takper2…
  Isteri Mithali (wifey): Hehehe… Mintak Maaf naa.. dia terkonfius tadi
  Missy Dazed: Hihihi.. takper2.. terkejut sikit je tadi…

I smiled and waved my hands before heading to my car.

Ok… Lesson Learned!

Next time I eat alone… I should put a signboard beside me

“Saya bukan bini anda, sila cuba meja sebelah”

Akhir Kata...
"Tak kenal maka tak cinta, tak kenal maka memang tersentak"

a Picasso feat

Ain

i am 5 years old

(these 2 lines above are typed by Ain herself with my close supervision) haha
She'll be 5 this October... wow, time flies...

After reading "Keracunan Ubat Gegat" post, you guys must be impressed by my hidden talent in arts, kan. Ahaks... Admit it guys... haha... And guess what, I have a successor! My niece. Hihi...

This is her drawing, she made this when she was 3 years old.
Title: Aunty Nina (its me she drew)
Her description of this drawing: Aunty Nina, there's a fish in her stomach.

After one year....
This is not me she drew. Haha... if she meant to draw me like this, compared to her previous drawing, it means I have put up so much weight after one year :P

Most of her drawings look like fish... kuikuikui..


Her other not so fishy drawings :D


Drawing of her with her mom and her baby bro, Meem.


Tadaa... my very own masterpiece:

I drew this when I was 5+. I got scolded for drawing this in my mom's diary... gagagga... but ouh, that's the reason why it's still here until today :D Mom wrote some recipes, tailoring sketches and some important event dates in it, she keeps some of her diaries all these years. Now u know where I get the sense of nostalgia from :D

zleen and arts... so inseparable

Look at my 2 decades old drawing, it looks like it belongs to some european art musem, doesn't it? Oh yeah... I should start working on my masterpieces... Maybe I can open an art gallery in future eh.... hmmm.... and a roadshow too... hmm....

Okeeiii...

before you turn blue and fall into syncope... here's a confession: I am not an artistic person and have no van-gogh talent. I guess... i prefer writing over drawing :P hehe

My elder sis is the creative & artistic one... we'll see how her kiddo, Ain progresses ;-)