A lot of the time skips didn't add up; the FMC really needed to develop a backbone. Every single time the MMC messed This read a lot like a YA novel.
A lot of the time skips didn't add up; the FMC really needed to develop a backbone. Every single time the MMC messed up, she took him back.
And no matter HOW many times her magic warned her that she was in danger, she never listened. She allowed herself to be used, manipulated and attacked.
I understand that the FMC describes her blood reacting in three ways: jolt, fizz and hum but those words were soooooo overused.
This could have been an intriguing story, but alas it missed. The world building wasn't there; character development wasn't there; plot development wasn't there. It was as if I was reading the same situations, words, thoughts and motives for the entire book. ...more
FMC punished the MMC for a decision she made while in the midst of a highly vulnerable time. Since the incident happenThis story went by too quickly.
FMC punished the MMC for a decision she made while in the midst of a highly vulnerable time. Since the incident happened when she was 18 years old, it makes sense that she wasn't the best at making decisions since no teenager ever is.
However, the decisions she made after that just cemented that she likes lying to everyone.
The book was rushed, the ending even more so.
There was a lack of character voice. FMC was very very weak willed.
I'm still out hunting a good rejected mate story and this was not it. ...more
There's one MMC personality that I hate in RH books: "I don't want a mate/hate my mate/will reject my mate for [insert dumb reason here]." And tDNF 8%
There's one MMC personality that I hate in RH books: "I don't want a mate/hate my mate/will reject my mate for [insert dumb reason here]." And that is in this book. The wolf shifter is denying the FMC is his mate for an unknown reason (unknown to me because I only read 8% of the book). It's the whole of his personality. ...more
Like so many why-choose authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nLike so many why-choose authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
Four mates gave the following nicknames to ONE FMC: doe, sweetheart, omega, baby, my beautiful doe, naughty omega, beautiful omega, pretty girl, beautiful, my love, angel, my beautiful omega, and my beautiful mate.
The book was very formulaic; the ending with the ex was rushed and the situation with the parents didn't feel resolved at all.
Merged review:
Like so many why-choose authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
Four mates gave the following nicknames to ONE FMC: doe, sweetheart, omega, baby, my beautiful doe, naughty omega, beautiful omega, pretty girl, beautiful, my love, angel, my beautiful omega, and my beautiful mate.
The book was very formulaic; the ending with the ex was rushed and the situation with the parents didn't feel resolved at all....more
The FMC's nickname is kitten. This may be a DNF from me unless it gets better. Kitten?! *rolls eyes*
This book was about 150 pages longer than it needeThe FMC's nickname is kitten. This may be a DNF from me unless it gets better. Kitten?! *rolls eyes*
This book was about 150 pages longer than it needed to be. So many scenes with too much dialogue didn't add anything to the story. Those scenes were there only to pad the page count, not to add any depth to the story. The author could really use an editor and not a team of friends.
While the premise started off strong (a group of people have to go on a healing journey), there was no actual forward momentum with the plot. The book was composed of a bunch of scenes.
FMC was abused for over eight years and she doesn't go into therapy? She finally lives on her own and gets to discover who she is, but forgoes all of that in an instant after meeting her scent matches?
We had a chance to get a story about an omega who was abused, finally leaving the situation, and learning to find herself and what she likes. But we don't get that. Instead we get a story of an omega who leaves her abusive pack but only learns to find herself with the help of her NEW pack. At every turn, she needed a man to help her.
She's so blind to the world around her, she doesn't see Connor for what he is until the very end of the book and by then, they've been courting for 3-5 months?
Like so many why-choose writers, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point. This is the authors debut novel, so her writing isn't very mature and the traps she chose to follow for the A-B-O universe only highlight that point.
Here are the nicknames/terms of endearments: Kitten, pretty kitten, baby, angel, gorgeous, little muse, omega, sweet kitten, perfect omega, beautiful omega, sweetness. I was REALLY hoping we wouldn't get a "little" name and I felt such disappointment when we did.
There were over 75 spelling/punctuation/tense/formatting issues for the book.
Connor's personality is where the immaturity of the author's career really shined. FMC attempts to explain to Connor that she is going through a divorce (of sorts), pulls up the court case and tells everyone to read it. Even with the proof right at his fingertips, he still calls the FMC a liar and thinks the worst of her. Three separate people pointed out to Connor that he is acting like the FMC's ex's by willfully neglecting her, and he refuses to change. It's like the author had a certain personality written for Connor and she refused to budge.
There were attempts at making the writing and characters seem elevated, but it didn't land. Like this gem: "The thing about ice is, when put again heat, it melts, leaving nothing but a puddle where barriers should be." Wow, thanks for explaining ice melting.
There was so much telling and then retelling and not a lot of showing or allowing the audience to use their brains to fill in the blank. For example, if two people share a look (that are not the author of the chapter), we see the look, then we have the POV character explain the look to each other in GREAT detail and then tell us what the look means for everyone involved.
I do hope that the author grows for book two. I also hope that she can afford to hire a quality editor so that she doesn't waste her readers time with unnecessary scenes and dialogue so we can have a valid reading experience. ...more
Currently 37% in and the FMC has said at least five times that she has body betrayal syndrome when it comes to the MMC's. How very disappointing.
Done.Currently 37% in and the FMC has said at least five times that she has body betrayal syndrome when it comes to the MMC's. How very disappointing.
Done.
There were over 25 instances that the FMC said "my body is betraying me right now" and "I don't know how to stop it" and other phrases.
There is no real forward momentum with the plot. The most exciting part was the FMC being the Alpha Slayer, but that was dropped about 20% into the book.
The ending with Earl and Tina was rushed and lackluster. The Marcus "twist" was pointless and added nothing of value to the story.
The author's writing was insipid, void and vague. There are soooo many sentences that basically say "There's something about her" or "There's something dangerous behind his eyes" or "His scent reminds me that danger is around." Oh, here's a golden line: "my wound pulls tight beneath the waistband like a moth struggling against a screen door." These phrases are supposed to convey depth, imagery and/or purpose. but they don't say anything. It's the laziest form of writing around.
This book also contains around 100 spelling, syntax, tense, punctuation and capitalization errors.
Nicknames and terms of endearments fly around in this book: some characters call the FMC four different nicknames on one page. Like so many why-choose writers, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
FMC's name: Brydgett (this is such a dumb way to spell the name, it belongs on the r/tragedeigh subreddit) Nicknames/ToE used: Brydge, sweet thing, sweetheart, girl, love, honey, babe, Gidge, omega, sexy, pretty, pretty lady, Brydgie, sweet girl.
As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this sweetheart." Not correct: "Here, drink this Sweetheart."
The author has too large of a catalog of novels to make such simple writing errors. Does she not have an editing team behind her? Could they not flag every instance of contradictory writing/personality traits of the FMC/MMC. Did the author not believe in fine tuning her story telling skills? This book was such a disappointment. The FMC was supposed to be strong in mind, body and soul but she was none of that. ...more
For a debut author, this wasn't a bad attempt at world building and writing.
A couple things dragged on: it took too long for the FMC to fully meet heFor a debut author, this wasn't a bad attempt at world building and writing.
A couple things dragged on: it took too long for the FMC to fully meet her chain/links; it took too long for the FMC to finally save all the students; the classes at the academy also seemed to drag on.
FMC is very weak when it comes to her chain/link and guarding her personal space. She allows herself to be manhandled all the time; allows people to touch her and play with her hair too much; she also forgives people too easily.
There are some plot errors/character directions that don't make sense to me. FMC will tell her roomies what she is, but not someone from her chain? That didn't make sense to me.
The beginning when the FMC was having a panic attack, the one guy kisses her to stop? That doesn't make much sense.
The author also fell into the trap of having one of the MMC's not want to "bond" with the FMC because "he's so tortured" and he's "just trying to protect her." *rolls eyes* He's 28 years old, grow up and be an adult.
The one thing that I did not like about the world building was that it was very confusing at points. It appears that there are several powerful people out there, but they all cozy up to the monarch. And like, what is the role of royalty? It seems like the world and the politics are only half thought out/developed.
This wasn't an amazing book, but it wasn't bad either. I'm intrigued enough to read book two when it releases and hopefully some of the writing will have tightened up by then. ...more
Like so many why-choose writers, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nLike so many why-choose writers, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
Four mates gave the following nicknames to one FMC: Princess, sweetheart, bumblebee, little bee, beautiful, precious girl.
Oh, and of course can't forget the "good girl" thrown around every once in a bit.
I commend this author for choosing to write about a subject that isn't often explored in writing: the bond control/manipulation of alphas, sexual assault of men and how toxic control and obsession can really become.
However, this author did not make smart decisions for her characters and fell into traps that so many other A/B/O universes do. There was so much BBS it was unnecessary to keep pointing it out as the body betrayal of the FMC was front and center.
There were so many character driven actions that didn't make sense and several plot holes that were glaring. First, at one point the FMC says she won't struggle against her captors. The next page, the FMC is being described as struggling heavily against the hands that hold her. Second, the MMC's have been under control of someone for years but they turn around and mimic that behavior towards the FMCV. She doesnt want to be called nicknames, they dismiss that. She doesn't consent to talking, they dismiss that. She doesn't consent to being kissed, they dismiss that. The MMC's know what its like being tracked, so they track the FMC and order her around.
The MMC's are full of big words but little action. They say that they are scared of their captor, but have done nothing to escape and in fact, do everything to make the FMC's life a living hell.
The sex scene at 85% doesn't make any sense at all, and came out of left field. It was like the author needed to have a sex scene and couldn't find a better way to incorporate it.
The storyline had promise. But the execution fell flat. ...more
There was a lot of stuff happening and the resolution was rushed, no answers given and no time really foThis is the authors debut novel and it shows.
There was a lot of stuff happening and the resolution was rushed, no answers given and no time really for the story to marinate when the big events happened.
Everything was treated with the same importance: walking down the street, walking into a room, meeting someone in a dark corner, eavesdropping on a meeting - EVERYTHING had such importance that it was difficult to ascertain what was really important.
Some events didn't make sense. Some leaps in logic didn't make sense.
The men were stupid: "You put a spell on me. I cant stop thinking about you. Stay away from me." Such immature personality traits.
We know who her fated mates are going to be, but we don't know their personalities.
Too much imagery, too much telling and not showing, and too much descriptives. The story didn't pick up until the 80% mark, before that it was dull and boring. ...more
Once I started skimming and not understanding the decisions being made AROUND the FMC, I DNF'd.
FMC is the poster child for body betrayal syndrDNF 65%
Once I started skimming and not understanding the decisions being made AROUND the FMC, I DNF'd.
FMC is the poster child for body betrayal syndrome.
Took a quick perusal of other reviews, and a reviewer mentioned that this book started off as a wattpadd creation, and everything made so much more sense.
Like so many shifter/PNR authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC, even when they know she doesn't like the name, or the name is associated with bullying. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point. As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this sweetheart." Not correct: "Here, drink this Sweetheart."
FMC's name: Iliana Nicknames: doll, baby, babydoll, my Ili-girl, Ili, babe, honey, doll-baby, baby daisy, daisy, love, my gorgeous doll, Babydaisy, Lili, pup, pumpkin, sweetie, sweetheart, babylove, beautiful babydaisy, Lee (make that one make sense), My sweet pup, and Ili-doll. Between two MMC's, we get 18 nicknames, very few are formatted correctly.
The MC's are vile people, just trash. One MMC tries to forcibly mark the FMC and she forgives him after a day. Her "truemate" threatens to rape the FMC in front of her father and mark her because he has all the power. The truemate gets angry every time he is reminded he slept with FMC's sister. He feels like just because he apologized, that should be the end of it. And the one who tried to force a mate mark? Ended up doing it during her heat and can't figure out why she doesn't trust him.
FMC is the weakest person out there. She refuses to stand up for herself, she refuses to put up boundaries, and she refuses to hold the MC's accountable for their actions. She gets angry when people treat her like a child, but still acts like one. ...more
FMC started off with so much promise, so strong in both convictions and physical strength, but once she was turned against her will, she lost everythiFMC started off with so much promise, so strong in both convictions and physical strength, but once she was turned against her will, she lost everything strong associated with her. She became a walking, talking poster child for BBS, a simpering girl and someone who doesn't have control over her emotions.
How very disappointing.
Like so many RH authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC, even when they have known each other for only ten seconds. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point.
As of right now, FMC has slept with two people but a third might be interested. So, three men have given her the following nicknames/used these terms of endearments: little one, little monster, baby vamp, love, Silver, Slayer, little slayer, Vicious, vicious creature, girl, dirty girl, darling, and my dear. ...more
There aren't that many RH books that involve baseball, so I was excited to dip into this world. However, my excitement was very short lived.
ThDNF 26%
There aren't that many RH books that involve baseball, so I was excited to dip into this world. However, my excitement was very short lived.
The author has to be new to publishing/writing books because her writing is very stunted and juvenile which is demonstrated in the dialogue. Most of the dialogue prompts lack detail and finesse. We get a lot of "Abree says" "Maya muses" "D murmurs" and other one word descriptors. When I taught, that is how we helped 8th grade students apply descriptors to their text, knowing they would eventually get taught better ways to describe what a character is thinking/feeling. This author hasn't grown her "writing chops" since middle school.
The author also doesn't know what words/nouns should be capitalized, so she tries them all out, hoping one will stick. For example, the students have to take a self-defense class, so the author made sure to include all variations of the word: Self-defense, Self-Defense, and self-defense.
And like so many RH authors, this author chose to have very dumb nicknames for the FMC, even when they have known each other for only ten seconds. I've started to realize that the less mature authors use nicknames as crutches and this book further solidifies that point. As with most KU authors, this author doesn't know how to format terms of endearment correctly. PSA to the author: terms of endearment are not capitalized unless their placement in a sentence warrants it. Correct: "Here, drink this sweetheart." Not correct: "Here, drink this Sweetheart."
There are countless punctuation problems and capitalization issues.
When I decided to DNF the book, it was mostly dialogue and insipid dialogue at that. There were PAGES of "girl talk" that just didn't need to happen; paragraphs of "guy talk" that could have been summarized and what makes it worse is that we would have to read all of this banal dialogue but then read a recap of the conversation "the next day."
At only 26% in, these flaws manifested themselves so I decided to not continue with the book, no way was it getting better. ...more
Hale hasn't really changed her writing style or elevated her stories for a more mature audience, despite having an extensive catalog.
There are a lot Hale hasn't really changed her writing style or elevated her stories for a more mature audience, despite having an extensive catalog.
There are a lot of inconsistencies in this book, which a good content editor would have pointed out. FMC tells Puck not to touch her, he backs away. Next day, he touches her and she doesn't do anything. The day after that, he goes to touch her and says "I remember that not being touched is important to her" [paraphrasing] and pulls his hand away.
FMC begins the story by saying she is unable to get close to anyone and she can never tell anyone anything. By the end, she is telling anyone everything.
She refuses to take OTC meds from one MMC, but allows him to know where she lives. The next day, she allows a different MMC to give her OTC meds and a concoction of unknown origins.
Ender was the most annoying MMC tropes out there, and his kind appears in almost all of Hale's writing. He hates the FMC [insert dumb reason here] and she rarely pushes back against his verbal abuse.
There was also a lot of repetition in events. People had their nose broken several times, 'cause ya know, violence solves everything. FMC hits her head and "everything fades to black" about the same amount of times as we see a broken nose.
At this point, Hale has run out of ideas and her stories aren't original nor are her cliffhangers.
Dumb nicknames in this book: little flower little warrior birdie my love ...more
Oh man, the book DRAGGED even at the point when I decided to DNF. I've read some of Frame's other works and I thought she was getting better atDNF 33%
Oh man, the book DRAGGED even at the point when I decided to DNF. I've read some of Frame's other works and I thought she was getting better at chopping down her word count and making a story move, but alas, I was mistaken.
The nicknames are TERRIBLE: little star, little storm, little treasure, little omega, love, sweet girl, baby, sweet omega, baby girl. Discounting the little star nickname (because thats from her brother), the FMC has 8 nicknames from 4 mates. One mate gave her 6 names. SIX from one person.
AT the point when I DNF'd, the story was just another copy and paste of SOOOO many out there: Alphas hate all omegas because one used them; one alphas is hell bent on being an asshole to the FMC just cause, one alpha hates himself and one is a Dom.
The plot is similar to so many others. There was NOTHING new here. And it was just so boring.
FMC REFUSES to be strong and stand up for herself. She submits ALL the time. She refuses to speak in full sentences, unless she is angry to which *everyone* finds cute and adorable.
I'm still on the hunt for an A-B-O book where the omegas aren't walking BBS flags. ...more
FMC was manhandled twice by the band that she was supposed to be professional around and chose not to set any boundaries. One of the MMC's threDNF 25%
FMC was manhandled twice by the band that she was supposed to be professional around and chose not to set any boundaries. One of the MMC's threatened sexual punishment if he didn't comply immediately with what the guy asked. The nicknames started already (sweet girl) even though they are supposed to be professional. ...more
Man, I have NO IDEA why I thought reading book 2 would be any better than book 1, but it wasn't: it was worse. Again, not much in plot development hapMan, I have NO IDEA why I thought reading book 2 would be any better than book 1, but it wasn't: it was worse. Again, not much in plot development happened until the last 30%. I just can't continue on. What a cool idea made so bad by poor execution, a weak FMC, bland MMC's and stunted writing.
Everyone in the story acts like they are 12-15, not in their earlier 20's.
Also, in addition to the author copying some of the broader elements of the Harry Potter series in book one, we get another addition to "didn't i read this in HP?" There's a room with keys that all float around and they need to find the right key. *rolls eyes*
As for the people in this book? The one MMC rapes her in the bathroom. She keeps saying no, but he doesn't care. Another MMC also refuses to respect her boundaries, and touches her anytime he wants and refuses to allow her personal space. The other MMC keeps having sex with her, while telling her he hates her and then when someone asks if she is sad about it, she says "maybe." All of the MMC's say that she is resilient, strong and feisty. What girl are they fucking? Because it's not the FMC. She is the most weak willed, weak in personality and weak in character that I have ever seen.
Author needs a new set of editors because these ones are failing her hard. There was no direction to this book, comma splices were out of control, nicknames are still being formatted incorrectly and there's some general formatting errors that should not be in this book. The author has a large enough catalog that readers shouldn't be subjected to half-assed editing.
Frequency in word repetition: Midnight: 15 Little: 140 Gape: 40 Murmur: 54 Mutter: 58 Silver: 70 Grumble: 40...more