I

I put my shields

before my eyes

I want to immortalize my fantasies

and feel warm in the cold

and pretend you care

and worship this love

and see you ego to rule your life

while hope still shines

against every odd

Naked eyes

naked hope

naked dreams

and naked wishes

because two people

they never bound forever

nothing prepared me for this

and I am here

squandering hallucinations
III.

Nothing prepared me for this

for this anguish

for this immortalized fears

where we split our heart

our lives

where we watch the dark clouds

where the bright light blinds

where the coulds and shoulds

become memory
IV

The soles would be damaged

they are begging for mercy

they are making agreements

they nod to one truth

that is not theirs

that is not their ancestors

that puts an ending point

that let them blind

and forget
V

Nothing else matters

life is like being trapped

as a game

where you don't know the rules

and ignore your skills

letting go your courage

as if you once had some

You were with the perfect ones

but your pure heart

it is falling down

in the feelings

feeling anguish

and wish

living wishing

living to find

that pure feeling

and to forget
VII

My smile seems hazy

but I can't see

as you lighten up the candles

the temples

worshipping your gods

and closing yourself to ideas

that for you they seem salvation

but it is not a smile

they are tears

that you can't see

I saw you putting a rose

a rose on the grave

and the reverence

and the song

so I realized

it was a memory

there was regret

shining in your tears

crying without sound

with a single rose in the grave

They sing to the sun

as this place

was not their home

as they were trapped

as they were arrested

and they sing to the sun

with prisioner eyes

hoping to sail again

but now

they want to sail to the stars

It is possible to happy alone

it is not impossible

it is just lonely

and you can do it

if you learn

learn to find pleasure

pleasure in lonelyness

as you are the one

to gift yourself

as no one ever did

You should ski

through mud and water

through the waves of life

to congregate with the nature

and be more than a phantom

and feel free

as your feet had wings

as you could fly

like the gods

You will also lose

the winds will blow

if you had given me a chance

if you had been my company

if you had seen me

as I am

not as the world does

tonight would really be shining

forever would start tonight

Do you see me?

life goes on and on

and I´m tired of trying

do you really see me?

do you really feel?

do you really want?

life goes on and on

but we would be tied

we would be company

we would be less lonely

Sing a little song

a beauty song

a loving song

of a romance

of our past

and if you sing

leave me forever

letting go is not torture

and to sing a little song

is beautiful

but not enough

And still they say:

you are naïve

they say for me

through me

behind me

as if nothing else mattered

even the good

and the bad

even details

even my shields

and I am ok

'cause I know they can't

can't really see me

Precious wealth

I could have searched

imagining it would be about freedom

and not about greedy

imagining it could be about helping

and not about exploring other

I could have searched my freedom

or I could have renounced

in search of my freedom
XVII.

Feels like I lost my days

lost my time

and a whole new chance

sliped away from my fingers

what comforts me

is the house I turned into home

is my library with treasures

that I will never read

and to see that no one can see me

walking alone

through a path of fire and light

to a climax of happiness
XVIII.

Bring forth in my days

laughings and happiness

bring forth in my days

the loving horizon

the opportunities

a good sleep

a warm hug

and the happiness of the past

I miss a god

miss feeling faith

miss believing

miss to be naïve

and I become divided

sad 'cause the past has gone

happy for the past has gone

dreaming to live it again

without the same mistakes

Bringing me a new horizon

bring me the sweet memories

stand in my dreams

and turn them real

most people are anxious

but whatever happens

bring me a new horizon

and sweet memories

and my dreams
XXI.

Am I a beggar?

am I a king?

my loving heart loves

loves my crown

and loves to walk free

with no terms to tie me

so I don't know if

I am a king

or a beggar
XXII.

When you say it

that you can reach much more

I feel glad for you

I wonder how high you will go

and I am here to let you go

achieve what you want

and leave me forever

'cause I feel happy for you

and feel sorry for me

Our ignorance set us in ties

loneliness blinds our choices

makes a loving heart loving bad people

as if nothing else mattered

deleting memories of old learnings

in search of a climax of happiness

and the freedom over wheels

over the warm asphalt

over the desert world

over the truth that life is not an illusion

I am glad

there is no cold

there is life

despite my needy realm

where the frustrations die

despite being alone

and far from my past

I am glad
XXV.

As my eyes close

feels like I lost time

no loneliness

no feelings

to feel in degrees

and my eyes close

like a blessing

and tiredness will fade

You were enough for me

my dreams were not fulfilled

there was no thing beyond expectancy

today I am believing trouble-free

seeing the starlights

knowing that you will win

that you will also lose

laughing heartily

'cause I may be important

or may be I'm not

What was left?

What was left of of our embrace?

Can't remember

nothing of that warmth

nothing of that intimacy

nothing of that trust

nothing but memory

nothing but wish

and I wonder if for you

if it was left something

something of that hug

You are inside a huge house

that is not a home

a million bucks house

a million voids

and me

as a phantom of your past

a weird shadow

that you can't control

a weird company

that makes you feel all

all alone
XXIX.

I am a phantom inside a machine

watching everyone

feeling weird

feeling lonely

and contradictions

feeling hugs that were never mine

watching millions of faces

reading billions of data

and still don't understanding

how can I do much more

and be much more

than just a phantom

Your voice was recorded

and heard that sound

that amazing voice

that astonishing tune

and it hit me

like a wound in my loneliness

with your interactions

and your truth

that will never be mine

They will never be your lovers

you seek the stars

they seek stones

they listen to your sound

but don't understand what you mean

and they fake

most of all

to make you think they get you

to abuse you

and never look to you again

People hear your voice

they will have until the sound

but ask them

what do you mean

carved in their faces

dumbness and silence

that's what you will see

that's the people you've chosen

that''s the web of your interactions

I was crying

and no one could see

tried to establish ties about my tears

tried to have just pity

and with it a bit of attention

and bit by bit

could I have a byte?

Could I have more?

You may force people to feel sorry for you

and you will get a little attention

but in the long run

it doesn't work

but in the long run

you will get rotten

you will stink

but people

people will make a long run from you

On which path and their stories

I wrap up my contradictions

to establish ties

to forget my tears

to spread laughinghs

to try again what is to be happy

on which path and their stories

on which path should I walk?

They say I missed my time

that I am just a student

that I should look to my table

and forget the window

when I don't really look to the window

when there is a world to seduce me

and to please my soul

To all the idiosyncrasies of loneliness

and wisdom that I never lived

to all the beautiful visions

that our naked eyes dindn't enjoy

to so many people I loved

with the perfect imperfection

to all the friendships

I let my love

carved into words

Together was easier

and just like water

when I could have been struggling

I just get around

I just outline

I just contour

and in what path was I walking?

I was walking to find you

to clear the noise

to state a message

to anyone who doesn´t tell a story

As my eyes closed to this is true

as my mouth closed to talk

as my ears closed to listen

as my hands closed to tenderness

as my nose closed to feel your smell

with doubts and fears

the only way for us

was a way out

a way out a story

a way out of a dying love

Those pixels I saw

they are just a picture of the past

where the boatmen lead us to a honey moon

where the river was always flowing

so that tomorrow

I´ll become the person you want

and it would only serve

to show me that I am not

who you dream about

The path dims

as the moon follow nightshadows

right after my broken dreams

and I could be desperate

trying catch someone with my tears

and instead I feel

an untold feeling of pure freedom

coming with the sunlight

Our love is dead in the sand

in the warmth and dry air

and I don't weep for a corpse in the desert

I give up

I want something new

like the songs we hear in distance

like the hope of a new love

entenring through the clubs door

Look to your heart

face it and tell

What can you achieve?

How many steps did you take?

How much of your heart did you put in?

Look to your heart

and say it

and be honest

if you are just losing your time

just dreaming

or living your dream

No matter the distance

no matter time

we are still together

and still they say:

you cultivate delusion

and I still say

I cultivate a memory castle

a place to rest with no loneliness

and as I still carry you

on my thoughts and on my heart

we are still togheter

There is no cold today

and I can walk without my shirt

feeling the sun in my skin

remembering that it was almost like this

your warm hug

was almost like this

and I walk with anxiety

'cause you went away

and I don't want the sun go down