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 Moonglow
Copyright © 2001 Kim Carney. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Dedicated to the memory of my mother,
June Butler Breisch
 MOONGLOW
by Kim Carney

ACT i

Scene 1

(In a spotlight on a darkened stage, a SAILOR and his GIRL do

an energetic jitterbug to big band music. THE SAILOR spins off
stage, and THE GIRL continues to dance alone as the music fades
and lights come up around her on a small, unadorned room with a
bed and dresser. Two other women are fere-BENITA, a thirty­
something woman, casually dressed, and DIANE, a professionally
dressed woman. The year is 1997.)
THE GIRL. (Kicking and snapping her fingers:) Kick ball-change, kick
ball-change, kick ball-change...
BENITA. And right through here is the bathroom. See over here,
Maxine? You'll be sharing it with Betty next door. She's very nice.
DIANE. (To THE GIRL;) Did you hear that? There's a nice lady next
door. Living right next door to you. Maybe you two can be friends.
THE GIRL. Kick ball-change, kick ball-change...
DIANE. Pay attention, now. Please. You need to listen to Benita.
There might be some questions you have to ask her, and—
THE GIRL. (Holding out her hand to BENITA;) Here, you be the boy.
BENITA. What?
THE GIRL. You be the boy. I've gotta practice my boogie circle. (She
grabs BENITA's hand.)
DIANE. Now stop it, Benita doesn't want to—
BENITA. No, it's okay. I'll be the boy. (To THE GIRL;) Now, what do
Ido?
THE GIRL. You don't know how to boogie circle? What planet do
you live on? Here, I'll show you, it's easy. Me and my friend Dolores
have cooked up a really nifty routine. We start out with a basic
jitterbug... (Demonstrating, speaking in rhythm:) Then we hop...and
back...and truck two three four...voodle-ee-aki-saki, want some
seafood, mama.. .then you grab my wrist and I grab yours, and we
shimmy our other hand and swivel our feet.. .yeah...
(She drags BENITA in a circle, BENITA howling with delight.)

9
10 Kim Carney Moonglow 11

THE GIRL. Lean back! Boogie! DIANE. Mama, please, Benita isn't—
(They do the dance step.) BENITA. Why not? Sounds like the berries.
THE GIRL. Hey-bop-a-ree-bop! THE GIRL. Fantabulous!
BENITA. (Laughing breathlessly:) Wow, I feel like a regular hep cat. BENITA. Well, it's time for me to start handing out meds, so I'll let
you two alone to unpack.
THE GIRL. See? I told you it was easy. It's even better when you do
it with a real boy. Me and Dolores take turns. We're practicing for DIANE. Thank you, Benita.
the Greystone next Friday. Have you ever been to the Greystone? It's BENITA. Remember, Maxine, when you hear the bell that means
in Detroit.
they're serving dinner in the dining room. I think they're having
BENITA. No, I haven't. lasagna today. It's the cook's specialty.
THE GIRL. Oh, it's just the berries. The absolute berries. It's got a DIANE. Ooh, lasagna, did you hear that?
huge dance floor, and the best bands—one time I saw Artie Shaw THE GIRL. Kick ball-change, kick ball-change...
there, can he blow, he was—
BENITA. See you later, alligator.
DIANE. C'mon now. Mama, Benita doesn't—
THE GIRL. After while, crocodile!
THE GIRL. Oh all right, I didn't see him, my sister Janice did, but
she told me all about it in such vivid detail that I feel like I was there. (BENITA exits.)
But I've been to the Greystone lots of other times. Oodles of times. THE GIRL. I like her. She's in Latin club, isn't she?
It's always crawling with servicemen. Last time I met this handsome
sailor—I love all men in uniform, but I've got a thing for swabbies— DIANE. No, Benita is the person in charge here.
anyway, they had a jitterbug contest and we ended up winning first THE GIRL. Girls Glee Club?
prize, and—
DIANE. No, Mama, she's not in school, she's—
DIANE. Listen, why don't you—
THE GIRL. Hop...back...
THE GIRL. Oh, all right, third prize. Golly, Elaine. (To BENITA;) She
is so jealous. DIANE. Let's get you unpacked, okay? Look, you can put all your
pictures right up here on the dresser.
BENITA. You know, we have another resident here, Joe, who likes to
jitterbug. He even has a plaque in his room with some kind of award THE GIRL. Boogie two three four...
he won for dancing. DIANE. (Taking out a photo:) Look, Mama.. .here's Marc's school
DIANE. Wow! Did you hear that? You'll have something in picture. The new one. I don't think you've seen it yet.
common with— THE GIRL. Kick ball-change...
THE GIRL. So anyway, you want to come? DIANE. Look. Isn't it good?
BENITA. Hmm? THE GIRL. I know. I've seen it a zillion times. Everyone thinks Billy
is so handsome.
THE GIRL. To the Greystone. Friday night. Carol's driving her
Dad's DeSoto. If you go, that'll make six. C'mon, it'll be the berries. DIANE. It's not Uncle Billy, it's Marc.
BENITA. Well, I don't know if I- THE GIRL. How come he got the dimples and none of us girls did?
It's no fair.
THE GIRL. If you're afraid your folks won't let you, tell them
Carol's aunt will be coming along as a chaperone. That's what I tell DIANE. Look at the picture carefully. It's Marc. See? Your grandson.
my folks. Of course, they don't know that Carol's aunt is seventeen. You remember Marc, right?
She's the wildest one of the bunch! So you're coming?
12 Kim Carney Moonglow 13

THE GIRL. I wonder if that cute sailor will be there Friday night. MAXINE. What are you doing?
Probably not. He looked like Dane Clark. Did I tell you he looked DIANE. Unpacking your things.
like Dane Clark?
MAXINE. (Taking her things out of the drawer:) Well, stop it.
DIANE. Look at me. Mama. Do you know who I am?
DIANE. Mama, cut it out. We have to unpack your things.
THE GIRL. Of course I do, don't be silly. Did I tell you about the
dress I want to make? Like Joan Leslie wore in Hollywood Canteen, all MAXINE. Where's my purse?
black with sequins, and— DIANE. C'mon, Mama, we have to—
DIANE. Who am I? MAXINE. What did you do with my purse?
(MAXINE, an elderly woman, appears at the edge of the stage.) DIANE. It's right there on the chair.
THE GIRL. Stop it. You're just being silly. Anyway, I— MAXINE. (Grabbing the purse and pawing through it:) All right, what
DIANE. No, really. Look at me. Mama. did you do with them?
(MAXINE inches closer.) DIANE. With what?
THE GIRL. Kick ball-change, kick ball— MAXINE. Give me my car keys.
DIANE. Really, Mama. Look at me. Look at my face. DIANE. Mama, you haven't driven for months. Now why don't you—
THE GIRL & MAXINE. (In unison:) I know you. MAXINE. And why is that? Because you stole my car from me.

DIANE. Who am I? DIANE. C'mon, let's not—

THE GIRL & MAXINE. You're.. .that woman... MAXINE. You wanted that Buick Century from the minute I drove
it off the lot. You and that Steve. He's the one. He's the one.
DIANE. What woman? What's my name?
DIANE. Mama, Steve and I have been divorced for years, he isn't
THE GIRL & MAXINE. (Upset:) I know your name. even—
DIANE. What is it? MAXINE. Where's the phone?
THE GIRL & MAXINE. It's.. it's.. .where's Elaine? DIANE. What do you need a phone for?
(THE GIRL begins to recede from the scene and gradually MAXINE. I'm calling a cab.
disappears.)
DIANE. You're not calling a cab, let's just—
DIANE. I'm Diane. Diane. Your daughter.
MAXINE. Where's the phone?
MAXINE. I know that.
DIANE. There isn't one.
DIANE. Are you sure?
MAXINE. What do you mean, there isn't one?
MAXINE. Yes. You're Diane. Diane Nicolette Morshek.
DIANE. All the phones are up at the front office, and you—
DIANE. McMurray.
MAXINE. Then I'll go to the front office. Which way is front?
MAXINE. Whatever. Of course I know you. Do you think I'm blind?
DIANE. Now, Mama, stop it. They're not gonna let you call a cab.
DIANE. Good. I worry so much when you don't remember who I am.
MAXINE. Why not? I'm a prisoner here?
MAXINE. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're
talking about. Let's go home. DIANE. Just settle down.
DIANE. We'll put your underwear in the top drawer, okay? (She MAXINE. Listen, you do what you want. I'm going home.
starts to unpack.)
14 Kim Carney Moonglow 15

DIANE. This is your home now. DIANE. Could we just for once leave Steve out of it? He isn't even—
MAXINE. You look feverish. You might have pinkeye. MAXINE. Or what about.. .you know.. .that other girl?
DIANE. Mama, I don't have pinkeye. I'm just— DIANE. What other girl?
MAXINE. I'm gonna take your temperature as soon as we get home. MAXINE. You know.. .who looks like you...
DIANE. This is your home! You live here now. DIANE. Denise?
MAXINE. I'm talking about my house. MAXINE. She'd let me live with her. She loves me.
DIANE. You don't have a house anymore. Mama. DIANE. We've been through this a million times. Denise can hardly
cope now with all she has to—
MAXINE. What?
MAXINE. You know, you had a terrible case of the croup when you
DIANE. You sold it, remember? were a baby. It could have easily developed into pneumonia. But I
MAXINE. So, the Buick wasn't enough. stayed up all night with you, running the hot water in the bathtub
for the steam. All night. I didn't complain. I would have stayed up
DIANE. Jesus Christ... for a week. Longer. That's how much I loved you.
MAXINE. Not for Steve. Oh, no. DIANE. You need full-time care. Mama. I have to work. I have
DIANE. Steve doesn't anything to do with— obligations to—
MAXINE. And I suppose my fur coat and my diamond earrings MAXINE. I had obligations. You were always my number one
have mysteriously disappeared too. obligation, you and.. .that other girl. Always.
(DIANE begins to unpack the clothes with determination. DIANE. Oh, Mama...
MAXINE takes them out of the drawers just as determinedly.) MAXINE. And this is how you pay me back. Taking my home and
DIANE. Mama, stop it. Stop it! my car and leaving me without cigarettes.
MAXINE. I won't have you manhandling my things. DIANE. Well, listen, it's getting late and I have to—
DIANE. Then unpack them yourself. MAXINE. (Bitterly:) What do you care? You don't give a damn about
me. You don't give a good goddamn. Any more than he did.
MAXINE. No! I won't unpack! Because I'm not staying here!
DIANE. I've got to go now.
DIANE. Mama, how many times have we talked about this? Don't
you remember, we looked at all the brochures, we visited all those MAXINE. Boy, you've sure got his blood running through your
places and we finally agreed that— veins, don't you?
MAXINE. I never agreed to anything! Never! Never once! DIANE. Mama, don't even start with that.
DIANE. I'm sorry Mama, but you can't take care of yourself MAXINE. Go then! You're his daughter, there's no doubt about that.
anymore. You know that. It's obvious. DIANE. Jesus Christ...
MAXINE. Yes I can! MAXINE. Go! What are you waiting for? You know you can't wait
DIANE. You think I can let you stay alone after that fire you start­ to get away from me. Run!
ed? Do you remember that? It's a wonder the whole house didn't— DIANE. I'm not trying to run away from—
MAXINE. Then why can't I live with you? MAXINE. Are you waiting for me to kick your ass out? Like I did
DIANE. We tried that, remember? We— to him?
MAXINE. Oh, Steve wouldn't like it. King Steve. DIANE. Now, don't start that—
16 Kim Carney Moonglow 17

MAXINE. (Advancing on DIANE:) Because I'll do it. MAXINE. Let them. Maybe they'll use strong-arm tactics, punching
me and handcuffing me and force-feeding me through a tube. I'm
DIANE. Don't you start, now. Mama. I mean it, you're not gonna get sure you'll want to watch.
away with that stuff here.
DIANE. Jesus, Mama...
MAXINE. (Swinging at her:) Go! I said go!
MAXINE. I thought you had to go.
DIANE. (Grabbing her wrists:) Mama, now stop it. Stop it! This is why I
can't let you live with me anymore. Because you keep acting like this. DIANE. Don't you want to walk me to the door?
MAXINE. What? MAXINE. No thank you. You want to leave, leave.
DIANE. You've got to stop this hitting business. Do you remember DIANE. Okay then.. .bye-bye. Mama. I'll come and visit soon.
what you did to Marc? MAXINE. Don't do me any favors.
MAXINE. Let go of me, I don't know what you're talking about. (DIANE approaches MAXINE and tries to hug her. After a
DIANE. Well, I'll tell you, you took a heavy, glass ashtray and- moment of stony refusal, MAXINE suddenly throws her arms
around DIANE and hangs on.)
MAXINE. I said let go! (She jerks away.)
MAXINE. No, please! Please don't leave me here! Don't leave me!
DIANE. I mean it. Mama, when you start that business here they
are going to restrain you. You know what that means? They're going DIANE. Aw, Mama, don't. Stop. Let go.
to tie you down. You're not going to like it. MAXINE. (Pathetically:) I promise I'll be good. I'll do whatever you
MAXINE. But you will, won't you? want, Punkin.
DIANE. What? DIANE. It's not—
MAXINE. You can't wait for them to humiliate me, can you? MAXINE. I won't hit you anymore. And I'll be quiet. I can—I can—
DIANE. Jesus, Mama... DIANE. Please, Mama, it's not that you're—
MAXINE. Listen, don't call me that anymore, okay? You don't call MAXINE. Don't leave me here. (Collapsing on the bed in tears:) Please
me Mama, and I won't call you.. .whatever your name is. don't leave me here!
(DIANE sighs. A bell rings brightly.) DIANE. Please, Mama. Don't. Here, get up, okay? Please get up.
DIANE. Oh, listen, did you hear that? The dinner bell! It's time for (MAXINE sobs.)
dinner! DIANE. I'll tell you what. (Beat.) What if I stay for dinner with you?
MAXINE. (Surly.) I'm not hungry. MAXINE. Dinner? Who cares about dinner?
DIANE. They're having lasagna. DIANE. We'll go have dinner and well talk, okay?
MAXINE. So? MAXINE. And then what?
DIANE. You like lasagna. DIANE. And then.. .well see.
MAXINE. Never had it in my life. MAXINE. You'll take me home?
DIANE. You've got to go in to dinner, they're gonna wonder where DIANE. No, Mama, I can't take you—
you are.
MAXINE. Don't leave me! Please, Punkin, please—
MAXINE. Let them wonder.
DIANE. I don't know, maybe they'll let me.. .stay for a little while.
DIANE. They'll probably send someone to get you.
MAXINE. Yes. You'll move in with me. Well move in together.
18 Kim Carney Moonglow 19

DIANE. No, I can't move in, I— DIANE. To eat lasagna, remember?

MAXINE. There's plenty of room. You can sleep in the bed. I'll sleep THE GIRL. La-what?
on the floor. DIANE. Spaghetti.
DIANE. I can't- THE GIRL. Oh, good. I'm starving.
MAXINE. I don't mind the floor. DIANE. But, you know. Mama.. .now that I think about it, I probably
DIANE. Mama, I can't move in, I have Marc to take care of. won't be able to spend the night here with you.
MAXINE. Who? THE GIRL. No?
DIANE. Marc. My son. Your grandson. DIANE. No. In fact, I can't even stay for dinner.
MAXINE. He can move in too. Tell him to bring a sleeping bag. THE GIRL. Okay. (They exit as the lights fade.) Mary Lee read a
Please? (Pathetically:) Please, Punkin? recipe in Ladies Home Journal where you take Spam, add cream of
mushroom soup—
DIANE. I guess maybe...I could stay for a night. One night. Until
you get a little more used to the place. We'll see what Benita says. (They exit. Lights fade to black.)
MAXINE. It doesn't matter what she says. You're staying, and
that's that.
Scene 2
DIANE. So let's go eat.
MAXINE. Oh, I don't know. I'm so upset I couldn't eat a thing. (A sitting room in the facility. JOE, a fairly vital-looking elderly
man, sits on a couch next to THE GIRL. There is a coffee table in
(THE GIRL appears on the edge of the scene, faintly practicing front of them. He stares at the TV. She eyes him flirtatiously.)
her jitterbug.)
THE GIRL. Hi. (He smiles and nods.) You're Bob, aren't you?
DIANE. They're having lasagna.
JOE. What?
MAXINE. (Beat.) That's like spaghetti, right?
THE GIRL. You're Bob Morshek, aren't you?
DIANE. Benita says it's really good here.
JOE. No.
THE GIRL & MAXINE. I am a little hungry...
THE GIRL. Aw, c'mon, I know who you are. I used to see you around
DIANE. Then let's go. school all the time, till you joined the navy.
THE GIRL & MAXINE. Have you ever had Spam? JOE. How'd you know I was in the navy?
DIANE. Many times. THE GIRL. What, are you kidding? Everybody knows. Your mom
THE GIRL & MAXINE. I love Spam. has the flag in the window. With two stars. One for your brother too.
DIANE. (Beat. Guiltily.) Say, Mama...how do you feel about Frank JOE. Sorry, ma'am, you must have me confused with somebody else.
Sinatra? THE GIRL. I know who you are. You were on the baseball team
THE GIRL & MAXINE. Are you kidding? Frank is the absolute with my brother Billy.
berries! (THE GIRL takes over as MAXINE recedes and disappears.) JOE. Not me.
THE GIRL. You remember the time Janice and I first heard Frank THE GIRL. I'm Maxine Hopper. Everybody calls me Max.
singing "I'll Never Smile Again" on the radio in the showroom at
Sears and Roebucks? Janice fainted right there all over the Kenmores. JOE. Hi Max. I'm Joe.
(Singing:) "I'll never smile again..." Hey, where are we going?
 19

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20 Kim Carney Moonglow 21

THE GIRL. Kidder. Anyway, Billy's at Fort Custer in Battle Creek. THE GIRL. Golly, what a grouch. Billy didn't tell me you were such
Basic training. He hates it. He's afraid the war will end before he a grouch. He always said that you were one of the nicest—
gets a chance to blast some Gerries. jOE. (Firmly:) I'm sorry, ma'am. I really don't mean to hurt your
JOE. What? feelings. But I don't know Billy and I don't know you and I don't
want to dance. Capice?
THE GIRL. Gerries. You know. Krauts.
(THE GIRL gasps and starts to cry as BENITA enters with a
JOE. Germans. basket of laundry.)
THE GIRL. You're quick. (Beat.) So do you want to dance? JOE. Oh, for the love of—
JOE. What? BENITA. What's going on? Maxine? What's the matter?
THE GIRL. Want to dance? I don't usually ask the boy, but it seems THE GIRL. He yelled at me!
like you're never gonna get around to it.
JOE. I didn't yell at her.
JOE. Oh, no thanks.
THE GIRL. He swore at me in a foreign language. I think it was
THE GIRL. What's the matter, you don't know how? German.
JOE. Sure, I know how. I just— JOE. I said "Capice."
THE GIRL. Then what's the problem? Let's cut a rug. THE GIRL. See?
JOE. Well, I'll tell you... I don't do so much of that anymore. JOE. That's Italian.
THE GIRL. Why not? THE GIRL. Oh, so you're one of Mussolini's boys.
JOE. Well, you know, I can't quite— JOE. What the—
THE GIRL. Aw, c'mon. Let's bug! The joint is jumping, the music is BENITA. (Leading THE GIRL away:) Here, Maxine, honey, why don't
swinging— you come with me, okay? I need some help. I have a whole bunch of
JOE. Music? laundry to fold.
THE GIRL. And you're sitting here on your keester like some old THE GIRL. Laundry?
man. BENITA. Do you like to fold laundry? It's still nice and warm.
JOE. I'm just trying to watch the TV, that's all. THE GIRL. Oh, good. I love it when it's straight off the clothesline.
THE GIRL. I know what it is. BENITA. Me too.
JOE. What? THE GIRL. Do you use an Ironrite? My mom can't live without hers...
THE GIRL. You don't know how to dance, do you? It's okay, don't (They exit. JOE watches TV again. GREG, a nicely dressed man
be embarrassed. in his 40s or 50s enters.)
JOE. No, it isn't that... GREG. Hi, Dad.
THE GIRL. I'll teach you. It's easy. JOE. Oh, hi.
JOE. I know how to dance. I used to, anyway. But I don't really feel (GREG sits. They watch TV.)
like it right now. I'm trying to watch the TV.
GREG. So how's it going?
THE GIRL. We'll start out with the basic jitterbug, you know, back
and forth, one and two... JOE. Good. Good.
JOE. Please, ma'am, okay? I'm trying to watch television. GREG. That's good.
22 Kim Carney Moonglow 23

(They watch TV.) JOE. Well, you know, Sunday is when we have sing-a-long.
GREG. Hey, guess what. I signed up three jobs today. GREG. It'd mean a lot to the girls. They'd love to see you.
JOE. You did what? JOE. This gal from some church comes in and plays the piano and
we sing along.
GREG. I signed up three jobs.
GREG. Jennifer's been taking lessons. She could play some songs
(JOE watches TV.)
for us.
GREG. Sold three kitchens. (Beat.) Two Crystal Customs and a JOE. Well, you see, this gal knows all the old tunes.
Poggenpohl. In one day. Isn't that something? Nobody at the office
could believe it. (Beat.) You probably sold that many in a day all the GREG. So you don't want to.
time back when you ran the business, huh? (Beat.) Well, nowadays JOE. No, no, now, it's just...
you're lucky if you sign up three kitchens a month, much less
three in one day. Three in one day is really something now. Really GREG. Just what?
something. JOE. It's just.. it's just... well, to be honest with you... (Sighs.) It's Emma.
JOE. That Pat Sajak's got a helluva head of hair. GREG. Emma? What did she do? Did she say something to you?
GREG. Yeah.. .he sure does. JOE. No, not at all. She's a wonderful girl. The most wonderful girl
(They watch TV for a long time.) in the world.
GREG. Well... GREG. I know. She reminds you of Ma, doesn't she?

JOE. Gotta hit the road? JOE. (Nodding:) So much...

GREG. Huh? (THE SAILOR, a young man in clean white uniform, enters at the
edge of the stage.)
JOE. I thought that's what you were gonna say.
GREG. Geez, Td think you'd be happy that Ma's genes have come
GREG. No. Yeah. I do. through so strong. It's kind of like she's living again, you know,
JOE. Okay then. See ya. through Emma...
GREG. Okay. Bye. (Starts to exit.) Say, Dad, how about coming to visit JOE. Hey. Did you hear that woman? That old gal that was sitting here?
for a while on Sunday? The girls would love to see you. GREG. But wait a minute. Dad, we were talking about—
JOE. Who? JOE. She said I didn't know how to dance. She was gonna teach me to
GREG. You know. The girls, Jennifer and Emma. do the jitterbug. Teach me—to do the jitterbug. Is that funny or what?
JOE. Right. GREG. (Sighing:) It's a riot.
GREG. Since Jill left, Emma's getting to be quite a cook. She fixes JOE & THE SAILOR. You don't think I can dance?
a lot of the stuff Ma used to make, you know.. .ravioli, ziti with (THE SAILOR begins to dance at the edge of the scene.)
meatballs... she even uses Ma's old recipes. You oughta see her. Dad,
it's incredible, she looks so much like Ma. JOE & THE SAILOR. Come on into my room. I'll show you my
award I won for the statewide championship. From the governor of
JOE. Yes, I remember. Michigan himself, the honorable Harry F. Kelly. C'mon, I'll show you!
GREG. Why don't you come? She'll fix whatever you want. You just GREG. Yeah, I know all about it. Dad. Listen, I'm gonna—
tell me what you want, and she'll fix it.
THE SAILOR & JOE. Tell me I don't know how to dance. Ha. I don't
JOE. Well, you know, my taste buds aren't what they used to be. know how to dance.
GREG. But you'll come, right? On Sunday? I'll pick you up about three.
24 Kim Carney Moonglow 25

(JOE rises and starts to dance feebly, doing the same steps as THE THE SAILOR. Think you're better than everyone else.
SAILOR, pretending to jitterbug with an unseen partner.) GREG. (Snapping his fingers in THE SAILOR's/aceJ Hey! Snap out of it!
GREG. Easy, Dad.. Just stop it, okay? Look, sit down— THE SAILOR. You trying to start something?
THE SAILOR & JOE. 'Course it was mostly Theresa. Light as GREG. Concentrate, Dad.
a feather. I could throw her up in the air, seemed like she could
practically fly around the room before she came back down again. THE SAILOR. Because I will kick your rear end from here to Osaka,
I'd swing her up above me... buddy boy.
(JOE recedes and disappears.) GREG. Jesus Christ...
THE SAILOR. She's kicking her feet like crazy. Then I swing her THE SAILOR. Hey, watch that gutter mouth! There's a lady present.
down between my legs, she pops back up on the other side. I roll her GREG. Where?
across my back, then twirl her around...
THE SAILOR. Right— (He turns around.) Well, she was here a minute
GREG. Okay, Dad. I get it. ago. Theresa?
THE SAILOR. Then we grab hands and go over, and under, and— GREG. Theresa's not there.
(He grabs GREG's hand. GREG pulls it away.) THE SAILOR. Well she was a minute ago...
GREG. Stop it! Jesus, Dad. GREG. Theresa is dead.
THE SAILOR. What's the matter? THE SAILOR. (Beat.) What?
GREG. I'm not dancing. GREG. She's dead. She's been dead for almost twenty years.
THE SAILOR. Uh-oh. Is the old man back? Is it time? THE SAILOR. Wait a minute. You don't know Theresa. You don't
GREG. Time for what? even know her.
THE SAILOR. To ship out. GREG. I did know her. She was my mother. Dad. And you're my
dad. Dad.
GREG. It's time for me to ship out.
THE SAILOR. Then you're.. .Robert?
THE SAILOR. Hold on. I'll grab my kit and—
GREG. I'm Greg.
GREG. No, Dad, wait. Wait. You stay here.
THE SAILOR. Who?
THE SAILOR. Oh, good. I want to pick up one of them little hula
dolls for Theresa. Have you seen them over at the PX? They got GREG. Greg.
this little grass skirt on, and the head and the hips go boing, boing, THE SAILOR. My son's name is Robert.
boing—
GREG. Robert died a long time ago. Dad.
GREG. Just.. .knock it off, will you. Dad?
THE SAILOR. What are you talking about? He's at home with
THE SAILOR. Huh? Theresa right now.
GREG. Snap out of it, okay? GREG. No he's not. He's dead. They're both dead.
THE SAILOR. (Beat.) You're one of them flyboys, ain't you? THE SAILOR. No...
GREG. No, I'm not a flyboy. GREG. Yes.
THE SAILOR. I know your type. I can tell by the attitude. THE SAILOR. My son is dead?
GREG. I'm your son. Greg Valenti. Remember? GREG. One of them. The other is standing right here in front of you.
26 Kim Carney Moonglow 27

THE SAILOR. No... GREG. I mean, did you see him over here? Dancing like a...
Swinging me around like I'm Betty Grable or somebody? Jesus
GREG. I'm your son too. That's right. Greg. You don't remember me
Christ...
at all, do you?
BENITA. He regresses sometimes. They all do. It's part of—
THE SAILOR. I don't know any Greg.
GREG, —the disease. Yeah, I know.
GREG. No, I didn't think so.
BENITA. Yes. It is.
(Suddenly MAXINE charges onstage, yelling over her shoulder.)
GREG. Well, what about his medication? Maybe his dosage should
MAXINE. What am I, a maid around this place? I'm some Chinese be changed or something.
laundress? It isn't enough that you keep me here against my will,
now you're trying to get free housework out of me? I'm telling my BENITA. The doctor's been happy with—
daughter about this. And she works for a lawyer! GREG. What's he on, anyway?
(THE SAILOR watches MAXINE with interest. He sidles up BENITA. I think he's on two different drugs—Exelon and—
to her.)
GREG. What do you mean, you think?
THE SAILOR. What's cooking, good-looking?
BENITA. I'm not sure... Do you want me to check?
MAXINE. Drop dead. (She exits.)
GREG. You don't know?
THE SAILOR. Hubba hubba... (He follows her off.)
BENITA. Not offhand, no. We have a lot of residents here, and—
GREG. (Calling after him:) Okay, Dad! I'm leaving. Dad! I- (Beat.
He sighs.) GREG. Is there someone else I can talk to? Your supervisor, or—
(BENITA enters.) BENITA. My supervisor?
BENITA. Hi. Did you find your dad? GREG. Whoever's in charge here.
GREG. Yes, I found him. He's not interested in visiting with me, BENITA. I'm in charge here.
though. He doesn't even know who I am. GREG. You don't have a boss?
BENITA. Ask him in a few minutes and he probably will. That's BENITA. Well there's the management in Grand Rapids that runs
how it is with— all the Buckingham homes in Michigan, but here on the premises.
GREG. Yeah, I know. I've heard the rap. Listen, can I ask you I'm—
something? GREG. And what exactly are your credentials again?
BENITA. Shoot. BENITA. I have a master's degree in Gerontology from the
GREG. (Beat.) When I'm not around, does he do it as much? University of—
BENITA. What do you- GREG. All right.
GREG. I mean, do I trigger it in him? Because I feel like I bring it on BENITA. But more than that. I've been working with Alzheimer's
somehow, I— patients since I was a teenager, and—
BENITA. No, no, don't feel that way, please. The dementia— GREG. Okay, just give me the doctor's name again, would you?
GREG. Or like he's faking it, to get rid of me, or embarrass me or— BENITA. The doctor?
BENITA. No way. No way at all. I see him all day long, and— GREG. The doctor who treats my father. The one we're paying for
every month. Or do you have to check on that too?
BENITA. No, of course not. It's Dr. Pava.
28 Kim Carney Moonglow 29

GREG. Right. Number? GREG. Even before anyone else knew anything was wrong, he
realized what was happening to him, and he took care of business.
BENITA. (Flustered:) Phone number? I'll go get it for you. Sold his house, liquidated all his assets, arranged for me to have
(As she is walking quickly out she almost collides with DIANE, power of attorney. Found this place and made all the arrangements
who is entering.) to live here until he dies. Did it all by himself, in his lucid moments.
DIANE. Whoa! DIANE. Wow. What a guy.
BENITA. Oh, excuse me. GREG. And I wanted to do it, I said to him, "Dad. I would consider
it a privilege to be able to take care of you, I want to help you, please
DIANE. I'm glad I ran into you. Almost. I found my mother's—
live at my house." But no, he couldn't accept that. Joseph Valenti
BENITA. I'll be with you in just a minute, okay? I have to get some never depends on anyone else.
information for Mr. Valenti. I'll be right back. (She exits.) DIANE. Geez.
GREG. (Muttering:) Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. (To DIANE;) Can GREG. Yeah.
you believe she doesn't even know what medication my dad's on?
DIANE. At least it was his decision. You don't have the guilt of
DIANE. Really? having had to put him in here against his will.
GREG. And he's been here almost six months. I'm tellin' ya. I've
GREG. I guess.
about had it with this place.
DIANE. And having him cry and beg to go home with you every
DIANE. I thought this was a good place. Compared to most of the
single time you visit.
others I checked out.
GREG. No, he sure doesn't do that.
GREG. I just think he'd be better off at home.
DIANE. God.. .1 dread coming here.
DIANE. Yeah, well.. .taking care of them full-time is a bitch. I tried
it. It was impossible. GREG. Join the club.
GREG. For you. (BENITA enters with a piece of paper. She hands it to GREG.)
DIANE. For me. (Beat.) You've got a big family? BENITA. Here's the list of medications your dad's on. And Dr. Pava's
number.
GREG. Just me and my two daughters.
GREG. Thank you.
DIANE. What ages?
BENITA. Anything else you need?
GREG. Fourteen and sixteen.
GREG. Not at the moment.
DIANE. Yikes.
BENITA. How about you, Diane?
GREG. They're great kids.
DIANE. I found my mother's glasses. In the freezer.
DIANE. Oh, I know. I'm sure they are, but I've got a great teenager
too, and we tried it, we really— BENITA. Oh no...
GREG. Or we could hire someone. The point is he'd be living at DIANE. They seem to have thawed out nicely, though. I think
home. With family. they're okay.
DIANE. (Beat.) Why did you put him here in the first place? BENITA. You want to go give them to her? I think she's in the—
GREG. I didn't. It was all his idea. Didn't want to be a burden on DIANE. No, that's okay. You take them.
anyone. BENITA. But she's only watching TV.
DIANE. Really? DIANE. (Beat.) Is she... I mean.. .how is she? At the moment.
30 Kim Carney Moonglow 31

BENITA. Pretty much herself. JOE. Huh? What are they doing?
DIANE. Then I think I'll just give the glasses to you. MAXINE. I have no idea.
BENITA. Okay. JOE. Poor thing. You must be one of the advanced cases.
DIANE. I mean, you know, if she sees me she'll get all— MAXINE. I am not. I don't belong here at all.
BENITA. I know. Don't worry about it. I'll take them to her. (She exits.) JOE. Then how come you don't know what's going on?
DIANE. (To GREG;) God, I'm such a coward. MAXINE. Because I don't want to know what's going on. Because I
have no interest in what's going on.
GREG. No you're not. Hang in there.
JOE. (Calling:) Hey, Benita!
DIANE. By the way. I'm Diane. McMurray.
MAXINE. Oh, her.
GREG. Greg Valenti. (They shake.)
JOE. She'll know what's going on.
DIANE. It's nice to talk to someone who's going through the same
thing. MAXINE. Whatever it is, you can be sure it's something ridiculous.
GREG. Yeah. To know you're not alone. BENITA. (Entering:) Hi Joe. Would you like to do crafts?

DIANE. Right. JOE. Shoot craps?

GREG. Hey.. .you wanna grab a cup of coffee? BENITA. No, we're doing crafts. We're making pot holders today.

DIANE. (Beat.) I don't know, I- MAXINE. Hmmph. See?

GREG. That's okay, if you've got something else you- BENITA. Maxine, would you like to join us?

DIANE. How about a beer? MAXINE. No thank you. You've gotten enough free labor out of me.
GREG. (Beat.) How about a shot and a beer? BENITA. Okay.
DIANE. Now you're talkin'... MAXINE. I suppose you sell them on some website, www.
potholders.com.
(They exit.)
BENITA. As a matter of fact, we donate them to a homeless shelter.
MAXINE. If they haven't got homes, what makes you think they've
Scene 3 got pots to hold?
BENITA. The kitchen staff uses them. They're very happy to get them.
(MAXINE enters the TV area with a cup of coffee. She stops to
search for her cigarettes in her purse, then rememhers she doesn't MAXINE. I wish I was homeless. A cardboard box in an alley would
have any. She sighs, then takes her coffee stirrer and puffs on it like be better than this place.
a cigarette. She sits on the couch. JOE enters and crowds in front of BENITA. So, Joe, you want to give it a try?
her, between the couch and the coffee table, to sit down.)
JOE. Oh, I don't know...
MAXINE. (Miffed:) Excuse me.
MAXINE. It's strictly kindergarten stuff.
JOE. Why, what didja do? JOE. Sure, why not?
(MAXINE, irritated, turns her back on JOE. JOE surveys the
BENITA. Great. Let me get you a rack and some bands. (She exits.)
room.)
MAXINE. Ooh, a rack and some bands. Don't forget the Crayolas.
JOE. What's going on? And the Tinker Toys.
(MAXINE ignores him.)
32 Kim Carney Moonglow 33

JOE. You got a real bad attitude, you know that? JOE. Stop what?
MAXINE. I'm sorry, was I talking to you? MAXINE. You just shot that thing at me.
fBENITA brings in the equipment.) JOE. What thing?
BENITA. Here we go. Do you know how to do this? MAXINE. That thing! One of those things there!
JOE. Why don't you show me? JOE. What things?
BENITA. First you stretch each band across the rack like this. MAXINE. You could put an eye out with one of those! You could—

JOE. Like this? (JOE shoots another band at her.)

BENITA. That's it. Here's a bunch of bands. Fill up the whole rack, MAXINE. Hey! You stop that! Do you hear me?
just like this, then I'll show you what to do next, okay? (He shoots another one.)
JOE. Okay. MAXINE. Hey! I mean it! I'm not kidding!
BENITA. I'll be right over there if you need any help. BENITA. (Entering:) How are you doing, Joe?
(BENITA exits. JOE carefully stretches bands across the rack. MAXINE. He's assaulting me, that's how he's doing!
MAXINE watches him out of the corner of her eye.)
BENITA. Joe, are you bothering Maxine?
MAXINE. You're doing it wrong.
JOE. She's bothering me.
JOE. Huh?
MAXINE. I am not!
MAXINE. You're doing it wrong. It's all wrong.
JOE. She won't shut up.
JOE. What's wrong with it? MAXINE. I'm sitting here minding my own business, that's all. I'm
MAXINE. You're supposed to stretch the band to the post directly not bothering anyone, I only told him that he's doing it wrong and if
across from the bottom. he would stretch them straight across from top to bottom—
JOE. Post? JOE. See what I mean? (He shoots another band at MAXINE.)
MAXINE. The little thingamabobs on the rack there. Look, you're MAXINE. Stop it! You stop it! Make him stop it!
slanted. You skipped some at the top. BENITA. (Trying to take the bands away:) Joe, here, why don't you—
JOE. So? Maybe I like it like that. (JOE jumps up and away from BENITA, continuing to shoot
MAXINE. It won't come out right when you start weaving across. bands at MAXINE, who wails helplessly.)
It'll be all lopsided. BENITA. Joe! Joe, stop it! Don't! Don't you... (She finally grabs him and
JOE. So? Maybe I like it lopsided. takes the bands away.) It's okay, Maxine. You're okay.
MAXINE. Suit yourself. I couldn't care less. (Beat.) All I'm trying to MAXINE. (Sobbing:) I hate this place! I want to go home!
say is, it's not going to hold together. You have to stretch the bands
BENITA. Aw, sweetheart... Why don't we go to your room and you
straight across, from top to bottom. (Beat.) But if you want it to look
can lay down and take a little nap?
like it was made by a retarded toddler, I guess that's your-
JOE. I think she could use a nap.
(Suddenly JOE shoots a band at her.)
MAXINE. Shut up!
MAXINE. Hey!
BENITA. C'mon, you look a little tired, let's—
JOE. What?
MAXINE. No! I'm not tired!
MAXINE. Stop that!
 Kim Carney Moonglow 35
34

BENITA. You just need a little rest, that's- jy[AXINE. In your room?
MAXINE. I don't want to rest! You can't make me! You can't make JOE. Yeah.
me! (She starts to advance on BENITA, her fists clenched.) jyjAXINE. No thanks.
BENITA. Okay, then, Maxine. It's okay. You don't have to take a nap. JOE. HI show you.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Look, I'm gonna
jylAXINE. I'll take your word for it.
take all the potholder stuff away. Okay? See?
(She picks up the potholder equipment, gives JOE an admonishing JOE. 1943 it was. I was home on leave right before I shipped out. We
look, and exits. MAXINE stands there wild-eyed, breathing beat out nearly a hundred other couples, me and Theresa.
heavily. After a few beats she settles down and a confused look MAXINE. Theresa?
comes into her eyes.) JOE. My late wife.
JOE. Hey, listen. I'm sorry. MAXINE. Oh.
MAXINE. What? JOE. Yep. Couples from all over Michigan. We beat them all. Even
JOE. I'm sorry. some coloreds, and you know that takes some doing.
MAXINE. You should be. (Beat.) What for? MAXINE. They can dance.
JOE. You know, for what I did. JOE. Yep. 1943. Greystone Ballroom.
MAXINE. What did you do? MAXINE. I remember the Greystone Ballroom. I saw Artie Shaw
there.
JOE. (Beat.) Huh?
JOE. Oh yeah?
MAXINE. What did you do?
MAXINE. Could he blow.
JOE. (Beat.) Who, me?
MAXINE. I'm a little tired. I think I'll go take a nap... JOE. Yeah.
MAXINE. What a wonderful place that was.
JOE. By the way, you were wrong before.
JOE. Yeah.
MAXINE. Wrong about what?
MAXINE. I met my ex-husband there. May he rot in hell. (Beat.) He
JOE. About me not knowing how to dance. I know how to dance.
was in the navy.
MAXINE. Who said you didn't?
JOE. Oh yeah? Me too. What ship was he on?
JOE. You did. MAXINE. The Idaho, the Missouri.. .1 can't remember. Some state.
MAXINE. I don't know what you're talking about. How should I His name was Morshek. Bob Morshek.
know if you can dance or not? JOE. Nope. Never heard of him.
JOE. I can. MAXINE. You're lucky. (Beat.) Handsome guy. Wavy hair.
MAXINE. Goody-goody for you. (THE SAILOR appears.)
JOE. I got an award from the Governor of Michigan. The honorable
MAXINE. Blue, blue eyes. I was in love at first sight. Who knew he
Harry R Kelly himself. would turn out to be such a son-of-a-bitch?
MAXINE. I remember him. My dad hated his guts.
JOE, You never know.
JOE. So did mine. But I was his biggest supporter after he gave me
MAXINE. But dance! Could that man dance.
that award. It's hanging in my room, right over there. Want to see it?
 1

36 __________________ Kim Carney__________________ _ Moonglow 37

(THE SAILOR dances.) THE SAILOR. May I?

JOE. I could dance. MAXINE. May you what?
MAXINE. I was always a sucker for a good dancer. THE SAILOR. Have this dance?
JOE. People used to say I should be in show biz. On Broadway. What MAXINE. Go on. You're nuts.
they didn't know was that it was Theresa. It was all Theresa. JOE. Tm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking...
(THE GIRL appears.) THE girl. Ah, why not?
JOE. Graceful as a rose petal in the breeze... (MAXINE stands and goes into JOE's arms. They dance next to
(THE GIRL dances.) THE SAILOR and THE GIRL.)
MAXINE. I had my eye on him from the minute he walked in. THE SAILOR. You're as cute as a kitten, you know that?
Seemed like he danced with every girl in the place but me. I was THE GIRL. How many times have you used that line tonight?
dancing too, with plenty of guys. I was no wallflower, believe me.
(Both couples dip.)
But I only had eyes for him.
MAXINE. Wow. You do know how to dance.
JOE. A little wisp of a thing. Maybe ninety pounds soaking wet.
You shoulda seen her when she was expecting our son Robert, she JOE. Told you.
looked like a plump little-I don't know-blueberry or something. MAXINE. An award-winner, huh?
Cutest little thing you've ever seen. But strong as steel.
JOE. That's right.
MAXINE. And he knew it too. He knew it. He tortured me all night
long, peering at me over other girls' shoulders. Those beautiful long THE GIRL. Anybody ever told you you look like Dane Clark?
eyelashes. He had eyelashes like a Disney character. I nearly melted JOE. Not lately.
into a puddle on the floor.
MAXINE. Maybe a little. Right around the eyes.
JOE. When Robert died, she was the one who held me together. She
was my strength. That little wisp of a girl. THE SAILOR. You're good. Light as a feather.
MAXINE. Finally, when the evening was almost over, he came up MAXINE. I try.
to me and just held out his hand. Didn't need to say a word. And I THE SAILOR. Smooth as silk.
melted into his arms like candle wax. It was heaven.
THE GIRL. You know. I'm a sucker for swabbies.
JOE. Yep, it was all Theresa. It was always her.
JOE. You are, huh?
MAXINE. The band was playing— MAXINE. It's been a long time since I danced.
MAXINE & JOE. "Moonglow,"
(THE SAILOR cuts in on JOE. JOE recedes from the scene and
JOE. That was our song. disappears.)
MAXINE. Yes, it was. THE SAILOR. Well you'd never know it. You're still the best dancer
to ever come out of Catholic Central High School.
JOE. (Singing:) "It must have been moonglow..."
MAXINE. Catholic Central?
MAXINE. "Way up in the blue..."
THE SAILOR. Admit it. None of the other girls could hold a candle
JOE. "It must have been moonglow..." to you, Theresa.
MAXINE & JOE. "That led me straight to you..."
MAXINE. What did you call me?
(Their singing is gradually replaced by a recording of "Moonglow"
THE SAILOR. The love of my life. Is that better?
playing softly. THE SAILOR holds out his hand to THE GIRL.)
38 Kim Carney Moonglow 39

(THE GIRL cuts in on MAXINE, who recedes from the scene and (MAXINE disappears.)
disappears.) THE GIRL. I am your wife.
THE GIRL. That's more like it. THE SAILOR. Am I a lucky so-and-so?
(He pulls her closer and they dance. He puts a hand on her rear
THE GIRL. Oh, Bob!
and pushes her to him.)
(They embrace, then kiss.)
THE GIRL. (Backing off.) Okay, swabbie, let's not get carried away.
THE SAILOR. C'mon, honeybunch.. .let's go out to the car.
THE SAILOR. What?
(THE GIRL nods. They join hands and quickly exit. Suddenly
THE GIRL. You're getting a little fresh. there is the sound of an alarm blaring. BENITA comes running in.)
THE SAILOR. You bet I am. Let's blow this gin joint and go out to BENITA. (Calling:) Joe? Maxine? Where are you going? Wait a
my Packard. minute, you can't—
THE GIRL. Settle down, boy. (She exits the same way they did. A second later the alarm stops
THE SAILOR. It's parked right outside. and BENITA enters, leading THE SAILOR and THE GIRL.)
THE GIRL. Listen, I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, THE SAILOR. We were just going out for a little air.
but- BENITA. Then why don't you go out into the courtyard? Right over
THE SAILOR. My kind of girl. here...
THE GIRL. I don't mess around with boys. My mother didn't raise THE SAILOR. (Starting to exit:) But my car is out—
me like that. BENITA. (Stopping him:) Joe, no. You can't go out that door. Come on,
THE SAILOR. I know. let's go out in the courtyard. All the autumn decorations are up, you
THE GIRL. I've got morals. Ever hear of them? should see them—
THE SAILOR. I have to get to my car.
THE SAILOR. That's one of the reasons I married you.
BENITA. But you aren't supposed to—
THE GIRL. You what?
THE SAILOR. Listen, if you knew how many trees I had to trim to
THE SAILOR. Well, it wasn't the only reason. Your cute little afford even the down payment on that Packard—
behind might've had something to do with it.
BENITA. I understand that, but you can't—
THE GIRL. Wait a minute...
THE SAILOR. Don't tell me what I can or can't do! I need that car.
(MAXINE appears at the edge of the scene.) It's my car!
THE SAILOR. C'mon, Theresa, I need you, baby. I need you now. THE GIRL. (Clenching her fists and advancing:) Let him have his car!
THE GIRL & MAXINE. Stop it! BENITA. Settle down, Maxine. I'll tell you what. Why don't I have
THE SAILOR. What's the matter? Theresa? the valet service bring your car around?
THE GIRL & MAXINE. I'm not.. .1... I have to think about this. THE SAILOR. (Beat.) Valet service? (BENITA nods.) Hey, I'm no
Rockefeller, I can't—
THE SAILOR. What's there to think about? You're my wife, right?
BENITA. Compliments of the house. Because you're such a good
THE GIRL & MAXINE. Your wife?
dancer. It's an honor to have you here.
THE SAILOR. Of course you are. Till death do us part. You
THE SAILOR. (Beat.) Oh. Okay then. (BENITA exits.) Did you
remember saying that? hear that?
THE GIRL & MAXINE. (Beat.) Yeah...
40 Kim Carney Moonglow 41

THE GIRL. (Gazing with admiration:) You're the berries, you know it? Scene 4
THE SAILOR. Only when you're beside me, honeybunch. (They kiss.)
(Maxine's room. MAXINE and THE SAILOR are in bed, under
THE GIRL. Hey, what do we need a car for when we've got a room the covers. MAXINE is asleep. THE SAILOR playfully buzzes
with a bed? his finger in the air like a bee and tickles her under the arm.)
THE SAILOR. Where? MAXINE. (Waking:) What... (Sees him:) What! (Pulls away in fright)
THE GIRL. Right over there. Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
THE SAILOR. What? Hi-Ho Silver! (He starts to pull her toward the THE SAILOR. Hey, I'm sorry. I knew you were ticklish, but—
room.) MAXINE. What are you doing here?
THE GIRL. Wait! THE SAILOR. Huh?
THE SAILOR. What? MAXINE. I'll scream! I swear to God, I'll-
THE GIRL. (Quietly:) Let's wait until she leaves. THE SAILOR. Don't worry, Theresa, we're not shipping out till
THE SAILOR. Who? oh-nine hundred.
(JOE enters at the edge of the stage.) MAXINE. What are you doing in my bed?
THE GIRL. That woman. The one from the valet service. THE SAILOR. Don't worry, we've got plenty of time for— (He
touches her shoulder.)
THE SAILOR & JOE. What valet service?
MAXINE. (Jerking away:) Don't touch me! Don't touch me! You stay
THE GIRL. The one with your car. away from me!
THE SAILOR & JOE. What car? THE SAILOR. Are we playing a game? (Playfully:) I'm gonna get
THE GIRL. Your Packard, silly! you...
THE SAILOR & JOE. My Packard.. .that's right... (JOE disappears.) MAXINE. Stop it! (She smacks him.)
THE GIRL. She keeps watching us. I think she's jealous. THE SAILOR. Ow! Geez, Theresa, I don't think I like this game...
THE SAILOR. Every girl in the place is jealous of you, Theresa. MAXINE. What did you call me? What did you call me?
THE GIRL. Oh, Bob. THE SAILOR. Theresa?
(They kiss, secretly.) MAXINE. Wait a minute. Oh my god. Oh no. (She gets out of the bed,
mortified.) Oh my god...
THE GIRL. She's gone! Let's go!
THE SAILOR. It's okay, Gordy and Jim went ahead without me.
(They dash across the stage and exit, holding hands and giggling.
BENITA enters and sits down on the couch, pulling out a cell MAXINE. (Throwing his clothes at him:) Put on your clothes!
phone. She dials.) THE SAILOR. Theresa, I-
BENITA. Hi, Mama. I finally got a moment of peace. Man, these old MAXINE. Right now! Put on your clothes!
folks keep me hopping. You wouldn't believe what just— (Suddenly
there is a clatter from offstage. BENITA sighs.) I'll tell you all about it (He pulls the covers back. He wears boxer shorts. She quickly
when I get home. (She hangs up. As she exits:) Josephine! Now you turns her back to him. He pulls on a tee shirt.)
give Verna her wig back! THE SAILOR. Really, it's okay. They said we didn't have to be
aboard till—
MAXINE. Just get dressed.
42 Kim Carney Moonglow 43

(JOE appears at the edge of the scene, wearing boxer shorts and a MAXINE. Not according to her. No. She says I'm violent. She thinks
tee shirt. As he enters the scene, THE SAILOR recedes.) I'm evil.
THE SAILOR & JOE. But they said.. .they said... JOE. You're not evil.
MAXINE. I suppose you'll run and tell them all about this. MAXINE. She accuses me of all sorts of things. To hear her tell it I'm
practically a child abuser.
THE SAILOR & JOE. Who?
JOE. A child abuser?
MAXINE. I don't know what their names are. Your buddies, you
know, that whole wheelchair crowd. MAXINE. Oh, yes! According to her I'm the worst thing since Joan
Crawford. She says I hate my own grandson.
THE SAILOR & JOE. (Confused:) I don't.. .what are you...
JOE. Why in the world would you hate your own grandson?
(THE SAILOR disappears.)
MAXINE. Who knows? But that's what she says. She puts on her
MAXINE. Well, go ahead. Tell the whole damn place. They won't Dr Joyce Brothers voice and says I have "displaced anger." She says
remember two seconds later anyway. I smashed Marc in the head with an ashtray and he had to have
JOE. Remember what? stitches! Can you imagine that? That I would do something like that
to my own grandson? Who I love more than anything in this world?
MAXINE. Nothing. Nothing at all.
JOE. Then what are...oh...hey...wait a minute...wait a minute... JOE. Did you?
(Looks down at his underwear, then at the bed and MAXINE. Beat. MAXINE. (Beat. Admitting the possibility for the first time:) Maybe...
Suspiciously:) What did you do to me? (Pause.) I try to be on my guard every single minute of every single
day, but before I even feel myself starting to slip. I'm gone. Tm gone.
MAXINE. Me? I didn't do anything to you! What did you do to me, What happens to me? Me. My mind. My soul. Where am I? I'm lost
that's the question!
inside myself.
JOE. I didn't do anything to you.
JOE. Yes. That's it. Exactly.
MAXINE. Good. You didn't do anything to me, I didn't do anything MAXINE. And while Tm wandering around in the darkness,
to you. Okay? someone else—some lunatic—is inside my body, controlling me,
JOE. Okay. making me do things. Crazy, crazy things. What will I do next?
MAXINE. Now would you please put on your clothes? Put on your JOE. That's why you're in this place.
clothes! Oh my god...
MAXINE. I guess I do belong here. And even here... I mean, look at
(He turns his back and dresses. Long pause. MAXINE begins to us. Look at me. I want you to know that this is something I would
cry quietly.) never do. I would never—
JOE. I'm sorry. I am so...so... JOE. I know that.
MAXINE. It gets worse and worse. What's she gonna say this time? MAXINE. Oh my god... (She starts to cry again.)
JOE. So sorry... JOE. I wish there was something I could say.
MAXINE. Did you know I started a fire? MAXINE. But there isn't, is there? What are you going to do, promise
JOE. What? it'll never happen again? You can't make promises anymore. Neither
can I.
MAXINE. I started a fire. She says I almost burned my kitchen
down. She says I could have destroyed the neighborhood. Killed JOE. No, we can't.
people. MAXINE. It's unbearable. Life is unbearable.
JOE. You had an accident. JOE. I guess all we can do is trust in God.
44 Kim Carney Moonglow 45

MAXINE. Oh, yeah, God. He's been so generous to me. JOE. You're goddamn right it s right.
JOE. Others have had it worse. MAXINE. Whatever.
MAXINE. And that's supposed to make me feel better? TOE (Quietlyfurious:) My wife and I lost our virginity on our wedding
nioht and I never even thought about anyone else for thirty-six
JOE. I just meant—
heavenly years. And when she died I swore to God, myself, and her
MAXINE. No, today was the last straw. It's time to end it. While I'm spirit that there would never be anyone else. I made a vow. (His voice
still capable of ending it. breaking:) And I kept that vow for almost twenty years. Until today.
JOE. Ending what? (Long pause.)
MAXINE. My life. MAXINE. I'm sorry. (Beat.) I had no business saying such a cruel
JOE. (Beat.) Geez.. .1 hope the sex wasn't that bad. thing. I'm ashamed of myself.
MAXINE. (Incensed:) How can you joke about it? JOE. It's okay.
JOE. Not much else I can do. MAXINE. No, it's not. It's not okay. It's not enough I've gone wacky,
now I'm turning into what my grandson Marc would call "a regular-
MAXINE. Sure, it's a big laugh to you. You don't have any sense of bitch on wheels."
shame. I'm just another notch in your belt, aren't I?
JOE. Don't...
JOE. Hey, now, that's not—
MAXINE. No, I am. A regular bitch on wheels.
MAXINE. So how long were you watching me?
JOE. You stop it, now.
JOE. Watching you?
MAXINE. I used to be a very nice lady, if you can believe that.
MAXINE. To see when I was weak? When you could take advantage?
JOE. Of course I can believe it.
JOE. I didn't—I never—
MAXINE. (Beat.) You can?
MAXINE. Don't even bother. I know what men are like. I was
married to one. I put up with his monkey business for almost twenty JOE. I think you're still a very nice lady.
years, and when he finally ran off for good after some little skirt, I MAXINE. What do you know? You're wacky too.
washed my hands of all of you. Who needs it? JOE. Well, that's true enough.
JOE. Just because your husband was a cheat— (A hell rings.)
MAXINE. You're not? JOE. Oh. Is it dinner already?
JOE. No, I'm not. MAXINE. Where did the time go?
MAXINE. Oh, please. How many years were you and—what's her JOE. Come on, we don't want to miss our daily helping of creamed
name— spinach.
JOE. Theresa. MAXINE. Heaven forbid.
MAXINE. How long were you married? JOE. (Indicating the door:) After you.
JOE. Thirty-six wonderful years. MAXINE. (Indicating her nightgown:) I can't go out there like this.
MAXINE. And in all that thirty-six wonderful years, you never, not JOE. Oh, right.
one time—
MAXINE. Besides, you should leave first.
JOE. Never. Not one time.
JOE. Huh?
MAXINE. Right.
46 Kim Carney
ACT II

MAXINE. So it won't look like, you know... Scene 1

JOE. Oh, good thinking.
(THE SAILOR and THE GIRL slow dance upstage. The light
MAXINE. And, uh.. .what's your name again? fades on them. It is six weeks later. There is the faint sound of
JOE. Joe. a soap opera, then the lights come up on MAXINE and JOE
watching TV. Their actions and way of talking are exactly like that
MAXINE. Joe.. .what happened here stays between us, right? o/THE SAILOR and THE GIRL.)
JOE. Of course. MAXINE. Who's she? Is she the wife?
MAXINE. Good.
JOE. Hair like a haystack.
JOE. I promise. (He exits.) MAXINE. She must be the wife.
MAXINE. (Beat, dryly:) You promise... JOE. I think she's the babysitter.
(MAXINE sighs. THE GIRL appears in the background, her face MAXINE. Kissing him like that? I never do that when I babysit.
blank. As she slowly nears MAXINE, she begins to smile and
sway. As THE GIRL approaches, MAXINE's troubled expression JOE. (Pointing at the TV:) Hey, I know that fellow.
fades and she also begins to smile and sway.) MAXINE. Wow. Look what they're doing now. She must be the wife.
THE GIRL. (Dreamily.) Bob... JOE. Met him at a boxing match. He was a flyweight.
(THE GIRL and MAXINE, next to each other, each wrap their MAXINE. I love being the wife.
arms around themselves and twirl girlishly.)
JOE. Jumping Jackie Jacobs they called him.
MAXINE & THE GIRL. (Euphorically:) Bob...
(They watch TV.)
(Blackout.)
MAXINE. Goodness gracious. Now look what they're doing.
JOE. I bet the manufacturer of that pool table never intended for it
to be used like that.
MAXINE. (Eyeing him coyly:) You know, this program is giving
me ideas.
JOE. Me too. But who do we know with a pool table?
MAXINE. (Swatting at him playfidly:) Oh, you! You're terrible!
JOE. Some things are better left unsaid. (He growls sexily and moves
close to her.)
MAXINE. Stop it!
JOE. What?
MAXINE. Not here.
(She nods toward her room. They start to get up, but suddenly ]OE
pulls her hack down as BENITA crosses the room.)
JOE. Cheese it. The warden.
MAXINE. You'd think we were the only kids in the cafeteria.

47
48 Kim Carney Moonglow 49

JOE. I love a good patty melt. JOE. Well, it's nice to meet you again.
MAXINE. She's jealous because I was the first to get married and DIANE. Let me ask you.. .is your name really Bob?
I'm younger than her. And she really hates it when I talk about the JOE. (Beat.) Okay.
baby I'm expecting.
DIANE. Anyway, c'mon. Mama, we've gotta go.
JOE. What? You mean you're...
MAXINE. All righty, then. Bye-bye. (MAXINE turns hack to the TV.)
MAXINE. Not yet, silly. But I'm expecting to be expecting soon. I
can't wait to have a baby. DIANE. But Mama, you're coming with me, remember? To my
house. For Thanksgiving.
JOE. We have a baby.
MAXINE. No thanks, Janice. Tm not that hungry.
MAXINE. Where?
DIANE. But Mama, you were coming for the weekend, remember?
JOE. Right upstairs. Did you forget about little Robert? We had it all planned. Denise and Brian have come all the way down
MAXINE. Robert? from Vancouver with the kids, and—
JOE. Little Bobby. MAXINE. That's nice.
MAXINE. Oh, little Bobby Junior, huh? I guess every man wants DIANE. But you have to come, we've got everything planned, we're—
a son. (BENITA enters with Maxine's suitcase.)
JOE. He's full of piss and vinegar, that little guy. BENITA. Here's your suitcase, Maxine. You're all set.
MAXINE. I want girls. Twins. I'll name them Diane and Denise. MAXINE. That's nice.
My two little Punkins!
BENITA. (Taking MAXINE's arm.) C'mon, Maxine, let's—
JOE. Gonna grow up to be a linebacker, wait and see.
(MAXINE pulls away.)
MAXINE. And when we're old and gray, our grandchildren will
come over and we'll all play Scrabble. MAXINE. No!
JOE. Well if we're going to have that many kids, we better get started. DIANE. But Mama, everyone wants to see you. They can't wait to
see you. Denise and Brian and—
MAXINE. Started what?
MAXINE. Shh! Please, we're trying to watch the program.
(He puts a hand on her knee. They look around sneakily, then start
JOE. (Pointing at the TV:) See that guy? I used to bowl with him.
to rise. DIANE enters.)
BENITA. Now, Maxine, why don't you—
DIANE. Hi Mama.
DIANE. No, it's okay. If she doesn't want to...it's fine. Really. It's
MAXINE. Oh! Elaine! Hi! This is the boy I've been telling you about.
great. (Beat. To MAXINE.J I made your green bean casserole. You
The one that's in the navy. Bob, this is my sister Janice.
know, the one with the—
DIANE. I'm Diane, your daughter.
MAXINE. Shh!
MAXINE. I told you she was nutty.
DIANE. Okay then. Okay. Then. Bye.
(JOE holds out his hand.)
(MAXINE and JOE watch TV. DIANE turns to BENITA.J
JOE. Pleased to meet you.
DIANE. I can't believe she doesn't want to come.
DIANE. (Shaking:) We've met before, remember?
BENITA. You know how it is. Give her five minutes. She'll change
JOE. We have? her mind.
DIANE. About six or seven times now. DIANE. I guess that's kind of all she does, isn't it?
50 Kim Carney Moonglow 51

BENITA. Pretty much. That's the disease. DIANE. Did you find her?
(JOE and MAXINE sneak off in the direction of Maxine's room.) BENITA. I found her.
DIANE. Well, you know. I'm happy she's decided to be happy here. DIANE. Is she coming?
Are you kidding? I'm overjoyed. She hasn't taken a swing at me in BENITA. Could be...
weeks.
DIANE. Where is she, in her room?
BENITA. Yeah, she's really calmed down.
BENITA. His room.
DIANE. I'm sure it must be because of Bob.
DIANE. His room?
BENITA. Bob?
BENITA. Across the hall.
DIANE. Her new friend.
DIANE. (She starts to exit.) Well, I'm just gonna go tell her-
BENITA. Oh, you mean Joe.
BENITA. No, I don't think you want to go in there.
DIANE. She always introduces him as Bob. That was my dad's
name, you know. DIANE. But I'm just-
BENITA. I figured it must be something like that. Yeah, they seem BENITA. No! (DIANE reacts.) I'm sorry.. .1 just...
to have really taken to each other. They sit together at meals, watch DIANE. What?
TV together. Sometimes I even see them holding hands.
BENITA. Sex.
DIANE. You're kidding.
DIANE. Huh?
BENITA. It's so cute.
BENITA. They're having sex.
DIANE. Unbelievable. That is so unbelievable. My mother is one of
DIANE. Huh?
the world's all-time great man-haters, you know.
BENITA. Your mom and—
BENITA. Really?
DIANE. Bob?
DIANE. Oh yeah, my dad soured her on all men. She hated every
boyfriend I ever had. Especially Steve. (BENITA nods.)
BENITA. Steve? DIANE. No. You're putting me on, right? Because I told you about
how she—
DIANE. My husband. Ex-husband. (Looking around:) Where'd they go?
(BENITA shakes her head.)
BENITA. (Looking around:) I don't know...
DIANE. You're not kidding. They're really.. .They're... (Alarmed:)
DIANE. (Sighs.) My sister's gonna have a fit if I drive all the way Are you sure he's not, like, attacking her? Because I can't imagine
back to Grand Ledge without her. my mother—
BENITA. Why don't you give her one more chance to change her (BENITA shakes her head. Beat.)
mind? They can't have gone very far. You look up by the front desk,
and I'll see if they're down by their rooms. DIANE. So they're.. .my mama...
(BENITA exits in the direction that MAXINE and JOE went. (BENITA nods. After a heat, DIANE starts to giggle.)
DIANE exits in another direction. Pause. DIANE reenters. A DIANE. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. My mama who hates sex and
second later BENITA reenters, stunned.) men and...she's giving away the milk? (She laughs harder.) Oh my
DIANE. She's not up front. god! Oh my god! I can't wait to tell my sister! (Gasping:) This is too
much...too much...oh my god...thank you... Thank you! For not
BENITA. I know. letting me go in there...
52 Kim Carney Moonglow 53

BENITA. I didn't think you'd want to see it... DIANE. That's the surprise. She actually seems happy. And I told
you about my mom. She hasn't been happy for years.
DIANE. No. God, no.
(She collapses into a seat. GREG enters.) GREG. Well that's great.
DIANE. Yeah, it is. Anyway, I just.. .it makes me a little giddy, I guess.
GREG. (To BENITA;) Sorry to interrupt but I'm here to pick up my
dad. Is he ready? GREG. Good for you.
BENITA. (Haltingly:) Oh. Yes. I'm pretty sure he's ready. Why don't DIANE. How's your dad? (He shrugs and shakes his head.) Not so
you sit down and I'll get him and his things. Won't take a minute. good, huh?
(BENITA exits at a run. GREG sits next to DIANE, who is still GREG. He's disappearing a little every time I visit. Or it's more like
laughing.) I'm disappearing. He doesn't know me at all anymore. But then, why
should he? He's living in 1944. I'm not even born yet.
DIANE. Oh, hi Greg!
DIANE. My mom too. Most of the time she thinks she's—wait a
GREG. Hi there. Sounds like you're having a good day.
minute. Was your dad in the navy?
DIANE. A surprising day, that's all.
GREG. Was my dad in the navy? Oh yeah.
GREG. Oh yeah? DIANE. What did you say his name is?
DIANE. Very surprising. My mother is a very surprising woman.
GREG. Joe Valenti.
GREG. Really? DIANE. Joe. Tall guy? Lots of white hair? (He nods. She starts to
DIANE. Really. You'd be surprised how surprising. (She breaks into chuckle.) Oh my god.. .oh my god...
laughter again.) GREG. What?
GREG. (Laughing along:) She must be. DIANE. He's Bob! Old Bob!
DIANE. Oh yeah. God, I can't stop laughing. GREG. What?
GREG. (Laughing:) Me neither. And I don't even know why. You DIANE. (Laughing:) He's my mom's boyfriend! No wonder they're
picking your mom up for Thanksgiving? taking so long. She probably had to throw a bucket of cold water on
DIANE. I'm trying to. But I'm having a hard time getting her to them!
come with me. GREG. What are you talking about?
GREG. Tell me about it. DIANE. They're.. .you know...
DIANE. She's got better things to do. GREG. What?
GREG. Sing-a-long? DIANE. Doing it!
DIANE. Oh, no. She can't be bothered with that. GREG. Who? My dad?
GREG. Then what's she doing? DIANE. And my mom! Is that too funny? He's the boyfriend!
DIANE. Oh, it's just...well, she seems to have found herself a GREG. No.. .no, not my dad...
boyfriend.
(BENITA and JOE enter, JOE still buttoning his shirt.)
GREG. Here?
BENITA. Look, Joe, your son is here. You get to go home for
DIANE. She calls him Bob. Thanksgiving.
GREG. Old Bob, huh? So that's the surprise. JOE. Hi-ho! Marshmallow salad?
54 Kim Carney Moonglow 55

GREG. You bet. Dad. Aunt Dixie made a double batch this time, JOE. Right- "It must have been moonglow..."
because she knows how much you love it. MAXINE. (She slowly gives in and starts singing:) Da da da da something...
JOE. It's crap. But what can I say? She's a Democrat. (They dance and sing quietly.)
GREG. C'mon, Dad, let's get out of here. GREG (To BENITA.) So when did you plan on telling me? Or did you?
JOE. Wait a minute. Whoa. And you are...
BENITA. Telling you?
BENITA. This is Greg. You remember Greg? GREG. What you've been allowing to go on here.
GREG. C'mon, Dad, let's go. BENITA. Of course I was going to tell you. It's just...well, I-I just
JOE. Don't you touch me. What do you think you're doing, touching found out about it myself, and-
me? GREG. And why is that? With all the attendants you have around
GREG. Sorry. But we have to go now. here you can't keep an eye on the people you're responsible for?
(MAXINE comes barreling out and starts to attack GREG.) BENITA. Believe me, they can be really ingenious when they're
MAXINE. You leave him alone! trying to —
GREG. So you're blaming it on the patients?
BENITA. Maxine!
BENITA. No, of course not, I—
GREG. Hey!
MAXINE. (Squealing:) Ooh! Stop it, you fresh thing!
DIANE. Mama!
GREG. Your bosses in Grand Rapids will be hearing from me, you
MAXINE. (Pounding on GREG;) Don't you lay a hand on him!
can bet on that.
GREG. Wait a minute— BENITA. But I wasn't-
MAXINE. I'll kill you! I'll kill you! You dirty Nazi!
GREG. Is my father's suitcase packed?
BENITA. DIANE.
BENITA. But I-
Maxine! Stop it! Maxine! No, Mama, stop!
GREG. Is my father's suitcase packed?
BENITA. Morgan! Bring the—
BENITA. I'll go get it. (She exits.)
JOE. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey... (JOE grabs
MAXINE, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her arms against JOE. (Dancing:) You think that was a dip? I'll show you a dip!
her sides.) C'mere, you little wildcat. (MAXINE squeals.)
MAXINE. (Struggling:) But he—he— DIANE. Why are you so upset? What's the matter?
JOE. Ooh! She's russ! She's tuss! She's russ and tuss! GREG. What do you mean, what's the matter? I don't know if it's
MAXINE. (Weakening:) He was hurting you, he was— abuse, but it's sure as hell neglect. I think we've got some extremely
valid grounds for a lawsuit here.
JOE. Do I feel hurt to you?
DIANE. Lawsuit? What are you talking about?
MAXINE. But.. .wait a minute...
GREG. We're supposed to be getting twenty-four hour care. That's
JOE. Let's sing it. C'mon. what they advertise. We sure as hell pay for it. And letting something
MAXINE. Sing it? like this happen is—
JOE. (Swaying with her and singing:) "It must have been moonglow..." DIANE. I don't understand what the problem is.
MAXINE. Moonglow...
56 Kim Carney Moongiow 57

GREG. Listen, I know you find your mother's sex life very GREG. My father is a deeply religious, moral man. If he knew what
titillating, but— he was doing.. .the sacraments he's breaking—
DIANE. I do not! DIANE. You told me your mom was dead.
GREG, —it still doesn't excuse this place for allowing that kind of GREG. She is.
stuff to go on right under their noses.
DIANE. Well? Till death do us part, remember?
DIANE. Hey, they're not prisoners here. They're adults, remember?
GREG. Their love was deeper than that.
Extreme adults. Way past the age of consent.
DIANE. Oh, please...
GREG. They're sick adults. They have a disease. They're not in their
right minds. GREG. You don't know anything about it. She's been dead almost
DIANE. So? twenty years and he still can't get over the pain. He never even
wanted to get over the pain.
GREG. What do you mean, "So?"
DIANE. Doesn't look like he's in too much pain right now.
DIANE. Look at them. Look how happy they are.
JOE. You smell like fresh baked corn bread, you know that? Driz­
MAXINE. I take it back. You're much dreamier than Dane Clark. zled with hot, melted butter and strawberry jelly.. .mmmmm.
JOE. (To MAXINE;) Ever hear of a lip-lock? (He nuzzies MAXINE's neck. She giggies.)
MAXINE. Why don't you tell me all about it, handsome. GREG. Dad, stop it.
JOE. Goes a little something like this... (They kiss.) DIANE. What's wrong with you?
GREG. Dad, stop it. Dad! GREG. I have a responsibility to him.
DIANE. What've you got against love? DIANE. To keep him in pain?
GREG. They're not in love. They don't even know each other. How GREG. To keep him from disgracing himself.
could they be in love?
DIANE. Disgracing himself? To who? You? That's about the most
DIANE. They think they're in love. selfish thing I've ever heard.
GREG. They think! They think! GREG. You wouldn't understand in a million years.
DIANE. What's the difference between being in love and thinking DIANE. You're right, I wouldn't.
you're in love? What's love but a state of mind anyway?
GREG. I'm getting him out of here.
GREG. Okay, Tm not gonna get into—
DIANE. You know what? You're the one with the problem.
DIANE. Why can't you let your dad be happy?
GREG. Where the hell is she with his suitcase?
GREG. That's not my dad.
DIANE. You need to look into some therapy. I'm not kidding-
DIANE. What?
GREG. Let's go. Dad.
GREG. The dad I know would never do that. Ever. And he'd hate me
DIANE. I could give you some names.
for allowing him to act like that.
GREG. Oh, I'm sure you could.
DIANE. But why?
(BENITA enters with Joe's suitcase.)
GREG. We're Catholic, for Christ's sake!
BENITA. Here you go. I put his—
DIANE. Oh, c'mon—
58 Kim Carney Moonglow 59

GREG. (Snatching the suitcase:) Thank you. ITI come by next week for JOE. She's my wife, flyboy. So don't you go getting any ideas.
the rest of his things.
MAXINE. Now Bob, don't fight.
BENITA. Oh. Okay. Fine.
GREG. Did you hear what she called you? She called you Bob.
DIANE. What? You're leaving for good?
JOE. What did you want her to call me? Mortimer Snerd?
GREG. C'mon, Dad.
GREG. How about your name?
(He grabs JOE's arm. JOE pulls away. BENITA takes over.)
(JOE ignores him, twirling MAXINE.)
BENITA. Joe, listen to me. Your son is here to—
DIANE. You're wasting your time.
GREG. I can handle him myself.
GREG. Look at her. Dad. Look at her!
BENITA. Okay. Fine. (She exits.)
JOE. I'm looking. Man, am I looking!
GREG. We have to go now. Dad.
GREG. Look at her face. Concentrate on her face.
JOE. Hey, do you mind? Tm dancing with my wife.
JOE. Nothing I'd rather do. (He stares at MAXINE.) Perfection.
GREG. She's not your wife.
MAXINE. (Coyly.) Oh, you.
JOE. Oh, I get it. (Beat.) A flyboy.
GREG. Is she your wife? Is she Theresa?
GREG. I'm not a—
JOE. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
JOE. Get your own girl, buddy. This one's taken. (He turns back to
dance with MAXINE.) GREG. But is she Theresa Valenti? The woman you slept beside for
40 years?
GREG. (To DIANE;) Would you mind?
JOE. (Beat.) She needs me. You understand.
DIANE. Mind what?
MAXINE. Bob, let's go outside. It's stuffy in here.
GREG. Taking charge of your mother.
JOE. I go where you go, my little Hottentot...
DIANE. (Folding her arms:) No way in hell.
(They start to exit. GREG grabs JOE's arm.)
GREG. Dad. 0OE ignores him.) Dad!
GREG. No, Dad.
MAXINE. Bob, what does that man want?
MAXINE. Who is he. Bob?
JOE. He thinks I owe him money.
JOE. Some joker who needs his windows wiped is what I'm
GREG. Dad... thinking. (He prepares to fight with GREG.)
MAXINE. Well, get rid of him, okay? (To GREG;) Shoo! MAXINE. Now, Bob! Remember your asthma.
GREG. Hey- GREG. I'm not fighting you. Dad.
JOE. Listen, flyboy— JOE. Just what I thought. A yellow-belly.
GREG. (Angrily:) I'm not a flyboy! I'm your son! Tm your son! MAXINE. I think he's Mexican.
JOE. I have a son. His name is Robert. You ain't him. GREG. But I am taking you out of here.
GREG. Jesus Christ... JOE. You and what army, flyboy?
JOE. Hey, watch that gutter-mouth! There's a lady present! (GREG sighs in frustration and turns away.)
GREG. And who is that lady. Dad? Who is she? DIANE. See? He's never gonna leave her.
60 Kim Carney Moonglow 61

MAXINE. You're fantabulous. JOE. Goodbye, my love! I'll be back! I promise!

JOE. I've got what they call.. .what do they call it? MAXINE. I'm going too! I want to go too!
(Suddenly GREG turns around.) JOE. Take good care of little Robert!
GREG. (Urgently:) Wait. I forgot to tell you. The old man is back. (GREG pulls him away and they exit.)
JOE. (Beat.) The old man? MAXINE. Wait! Bob!
GREG. Yes. The old man is back and he's...he's...mad...he's really (She tries to follow, but DIANE holds her back.)
angry... DIANE. No, Mama. You can't go.
JOE. Uh-oh. MAXINE. Where's Bob? Where is he? Where is he?
GREG. He says we're shipping out at oh-six hundred, and any DIANE. Settle down now. Mama, okay?
seabee who isn't aboard and ready for action will take a nice long
vacation in the brig. MAXINE. (Pushing DIANE away:) Where is he? I want to go!
JOE. (Beat.) We better go. DIANE. Look, let's-
DIANE. Now wait a minute. MAXINE. Bob?
GREG. Yes, we have to go immediately. DIANE. Mama, he's—
DIANE. That's not fair! MAXINE. (With growing panic:) Bob? Where's Bob?
MAXINE. Bob? DIANE. He'll be coming back soon. Why don't you—
JOE. Duty calls, Theresa. MAXINE. Why did you leave me? Bob? Bob! (Collapsing down to the
floor:) Bob! Where are you? Bob!
MAXINE. But what about the party?
DIANE. (Her arms around MAXINE, lowering to the ground with her:)
JOE. I have your picture in my kit bag and I'll kiss it every night. Benita! Benita!
GREG. Let's go. (Lights fade to black.)
DIANE. No! (The strains of "Moonglow" play slightly discordantly. The stage
JOE. Where's Gordy and Jim? is dark. Upstage there is a flashbulb-like hurst of light, which
illuminates THE GIRL and THE SAILOR in a sequence offrozen
GREG. They're already aboard.
snapshot-like tableaus which tells the story of Maxine and Bob-
JOE. Then I'd better hurry. they meet, they dance, they kiss, they fight, he leaves, she reaches
DIANE. How can you do this to him? You're manipulating him, for him, she is alone and crumbling, she lays in a heap on the floor.
you're— She is gone.)
GREG. Get a move on, sailor!
MAXINE. What about the baby? Scene 2
DIANE. You call yourself religious?
(Four months later. MAXINE, withered and withdrawn, sits on
JOE. Just let me kiss my wife goodbye. (He kisses MAXINE.) Write me! the couch, a blanket around her shoulders. BENITA enters with a
GREG. Hup! Hup! bunch of lilacs and a vase.)
DIANE. You're evil, that's what you are. You're the devil!
MAXINE. Bob?
62 Kim Carney Moonglow 63

BENITA. Look, Maxine, lilacs. The courtyard is full of them. They BENITA. Yes, she has.
don't usually bloom until May—they're early this year. Aren't we GREG. God...
lucky? (She takes a big sniff.) They smell like heaven. Here, smell.
BENITA. So what did you want to talk about?
(MAXINE turns away. BENITA arranges the lilacs in the vase.)
GREG. About how wrong I was to take my dad out of here. I was
BENITA. Okay, then, you can just look at them. (Picks up MAXINE's just... I don't know what I was thinking—well, I do know what I was
drink.) Can you drink the rest of your Ensure? It's strawberry, the thinking, and it was wrong. It was so wrong.
kind you like. (Beat.) Please drink some, it's good for you. Please?
For me? BENITA. Listen, you were—
(GREG enters and stands watching BENITA, uncertainly. He clears GREG. Stupid. Thinking I could take care of him myself. How
his throat nervously.) stupid was that? People tried to warn me, but I just knew I could do
it... Shit. I mean. I'm sorry, but Jesus, what a disaster. After the first
BENITA. (Startled:) Oh! Mr. Valenti. week I was ready for the loony bin.
GREG. I'm surprised you remember me, after—how many months BENITA. I know it's hard.
has it been?
GREG. So I finally went and put him in Mercy, and it was even
BENITA. Oh, I couldn't forget you. worse than this place. (Beat.) I mean, not that this place is bad. This
GREG. Listen, I want to apologize for that. place is good, really good.
BENITA. For what? BENITA. Mr. Valenti-
GREG. You know, the complaints I made to your bosses and GREG. I didn't realize how good until I put him in that dump. He
everything. just got worse and worse...
BENITA. Oh, that. BENITA. He would have gotten worse here too.
GREG. You didn't deserve that. I mean.. .1 know that now. I was out GREG. See, I don't think so.
of line. Way out of line. BENITA. Why's that?
BENITA. Hey, if you thought I wasn't doing my job, you had every GREG. (Indicating MAXINE;) This place has her.
right to—
BENITA. Listen, Mr. Valenti...
GREG. No I didn't. I was just angry. At.. .you know.. .the situation.
And I took it out on you. I was a total dick. I mean, I hope I didn't GREG. Please. Call me Greg.
cause you too much trouble. BENITA. Greg, you can't—
BENITA. No trouble at all. My bosses know me very well. GREG. If he could just see her again I really believe it would—
GREG. Good. I'm glad. I'm sorry. Really sorry. (DIANE enters and sees GREG.)
BENITA. What can I help you with, Mr. Valenti? DIANE. Whoa.
GREG. I was wondering if I could talk to you. Just.. .for a minute... GREG. Oh. Diane. Tm glad you're here.
BENITA. Sure. I was trying to feed Maxine, but apparently she's not DIANE. What the hell?
very hungry.
GREG. I was just telling.. .uh...
GREG. (To MAXINE;) Hi, Maxine. Maxine?
BENITA. Benita.
(MAXINE is oblivious.)
GREG. Benita here that I realize I made a huge mistake when I—
GREG. She's gotten worse, huh?
DIANE. (Urgently:) Are you bringing your dad back?
64 Kim Carney Moonglow 65

GREG. He's out in the car. DIANE. You can see into the future, huh? Man, you must kill at
DIANE. (Hugging him:) That's wonderful! That's just wonderful! Did the track.
you hear that? He's bringing his dad back! Did you hear that. Mama? BENITA. (Sighs.) Do what you have to do, Diane.
Bob is coming back! Bob! (To GREG;) Well, go get him!
DIANE. (Angrily.) You don't know my mother. You don't even know
GREG. Okay! I'll be back in a minute. (He exits.) her. This woman is strong. And stubborn. She's a fighter. And if we
DIANE. Oh my god, this is so great! Isn't it great? can just give her something to hold onto, if we can just—
BENITA. It won't work, Diane. BENITA. It's not up to us! It's not in our power, don't you understand
that?
DIANE. What?
DIANE. Why don't you go to your office or something?
BENITA. It's not gonna work.
BENITA. Diane, I'm just trying to—
DIANE. How can you say that? Of course it'll work! He's just what
she needs! DIANE. I know what you're trying to do. We don't need your
negativity, okay? That doesn't help us one bit, okay?
BENITA. No he's not.
BENITA. Okay. (She exits.)
DIANE. Of course he is. They have a very, very deep—
DIANE. She doesn't even know you, does she. Mama? She doesn't
BENITA. No they don't. know how strong you are. And you are. Mama! You are a strong,
(DIANE stares at her.) strong woman.
BENITA. They really don't. (Takes MAXINE by the shoulders and tries to look into her eyes.)
DIANE. I'm surprised at you, Benita. I thought you'd understand I know you're still in there. Mama. I know it. Come out. You can
better than anyone how they've been wasting away from missing come out!
each other. I mean, what, you think it was just a coincidence that she (There is no response from MAXINE.)
lost her appetite and quit talking the day he left? Look at her.
You have to come out. Mama. Because Bob is back! He's home on
BENITA. Diane— leave from the navy and he can't wait to see you.
DIANE. Remember how she was just a few months ago? How full (No reaction.)
of life she was? She glowed. And it was all because of him. God, if
I could ever have someone look at me like that... Anyway, I know You remember Bob, right? You love him. And he loves you. Mama.
Bob really, really loves you. You remember Bob? Bob?
when she sees him again—
BENITA. You're looking for logic where there isn't any. (Behind DIANE, GREG enters leading JOE, sunken and shuf­
fling.)
DIANE. What's logic got to do with anything? We're talking about
MAXINE. (Spotting]OE:) Bob?
love.
BENITA. It's a progressive disease, Diane. It doesn't go backwards. DIANE. Yes! (She turns to see where MAXINE is looking. Ecstatically:)
Yes, Bob! (Running to GREG;) Did you hear that? She knows him! She
DIANE. It will this time. knows him! That's the first word she's spoken in weeks! I knew it
BENITA. No it won't. It never does. would work! (To MAXINE;) Look Mama! It's Bob!
DIANE. Oh, so every case is the same? Every patient is exactly MAXINE. Bob?
the same? DIANE. Yes! Bob!
BENITA. No but- GREG. Look Dad! Look! It's.. .your old friend.
JOE. We got lots.
66 Kim Carney Moonglow 67

DIANE. Yes! Pardon? GREG. (As they exit:) We sure do. Dad. We sure got lots.
JOE. We got lots. Jhanref ^ ^ demstated:) But y°u didn,t even Sive it a
GREG. That's the only thing he says now. I don't know what it means.
(BENITA enters.)
DIANE. Oh. Look Mama! It's Bob! He said he'd come back and he did.
DIANE. Did you see that?
GREG. Why don't you sit down. Dad?
BENITA. I saw.
DIANE. Yes! Sit right here! Right next to Theresa. Look, Joe, it's
Theresa! WJaS, tSingrit Was working... (As BENITA leads
GREG. I.. .1 don't think you should call her that. NE off and the lights fade, bitterly:) He wouldn't even give it a

DIANE. What? (To JOE;) Sit down, Joe.

(As poignant music plays, GREG slowly crosses the dimly-lit
GREG. Theresa. She's not Theresa. stage carrying a three-cornered, folded American flag. He stops
DIANE. To him she is. That's why this will work. It's the only way it mid-stage and THE SAILOR comes up behind him, and places
will work, don't you get it? his hands on GREG's shoulders in a comforting way. They exit.)
GREG. (Beat. With great effort:) Look, Dad. It's Theresa, see? There
she is. Your wife.. .your love.. Theresa. Sitting right next to you.
Scene 3
(JOE looks at MAXINE. He stops fidgeting. Their eyes lock.
MAXINE slowly extends her hand to JOE.) (A few weeks later. MAXINE lies in her bed, curled up in a fetal
MAXINE. Do you dance? position. BENITA sits nearby. DIANE enters hurriedly.)
DIANE. How is she?
(JOE slowly lifts his hand to MAXINE's. DIANE and GREG
zoatch with their breaths held. Just before they touch JOE jerks his BENITA. Oh, Diane, I'm so glad you made it.
hand back in horror.) DIANE. Is... Is she—
JOE. (With increasing agitation:) We got lots. We got lots. We got lots.
BENITA. No. I thought we already lost her once, but.. .maybe she
We got lots... was waiting for you.
(He stands up, panicky and upset, knocking over the vase, saying DIANE. (Taking MAXINE's hand:) Mama? (To BENITA) Can she
"We got lots" and wandering in a different direction than the exit. hear me?
GREG hurriedly crosses to him.)
BENITA. On some level, maybe.
GREG. Dad! It's okay. Dad. I'm here.
DIANE. (Anxiously:) I don't understand, why is this happening
(When GREG puts an arm around him, JOE begins to settle down, now? It's too soon. Way too soon. I mean-
still muttering "We got lots.")
BENITA. Her system started shutting down this morning.
GREG. I'm here. We'll go now. Let's go. (He starts to lead JOE out.) Sometimes it happens quickly. &
DIANE. But wait! You can't leave yet! He'll settle down. DIANE. My sister is on her way from Vancouver. Her plane gets in
GREG. It's no use. at seven. 6
DIANE. Please! Give it a chance! It was working! BENITA. I don't think she'll last that long.
GREG. I'm sorry, Diane. DIANE. I still don t get it. All the people in my support group their
JOE. We got lots. parents have hung on for years, and my mom hasn't-I mean I
thought Alzheimer's— '
68 Kim Carney Moonglow 69

BENITA. It's unpredictable. And every case is different. (THE GIRL enters slowly.)
DIANE. But she, she.. Jesus... THE GIRL. I always used Butterick patterns. They were way better
than those crappy McCall's ones.
BENITA. There aren't any rules. I mean, look at— (She stops herself.)
DIANE. (Unaware o/THE GIRL.) And then when we were older we
DIANE. Who? decided we didn't want to dress alike anymore...and we were so
BENITA. Joe Valenti died last week. afraid to tell you...
DIANE. What? THE GIRL. I know. I listened outside your door.
BENITA. I went to the funeral. Greg was devastated. DIANE. But you brought it up before we did, remember? You said
"I think you girls are getting a little bit old for this dressing alike
DIANE. Good.
business." And all we had to do was agree...
BENITA. Come on, Diane...
THE GIRL. I had to save face somehow, didn't I?
DIANE. I'm sorry, but he deserves it. It's all his fault. If he had loved
DIANE. And how you used to fuss over us when we were sick...
his father enough to—to—
THE GIRL. Vernor's and Vicks VapoRub.
BENITA. He loved his father very much.
DIANE. And how you played Scrabble with us and taught us all the
DIANE. Then it's my fault. I should've made him listen, I should've—
show tunes and gave us boyfriend advice...
BENITA. Don't go there, Diane. It doesn't help one bit.
THE GIRL. DIANE. (In unison:)
DIANE. It's just so unfair. .. .that you never, ever listened .. .that we never, ever listened
BENITA. I know. I know... (Pause.) I'll leave you alone with your to... to...
mom now. DIANE. But...maybe we should've. I should've anyway. Oh, shit.
DIANE. But what should I say to her? What should I— Mama.. .you were right about Steve all along.

BENITA. Just tell her goodbye. And it's okay to let go. THE GIRL. Thank you.

DIANE. Thank you, Benita.. .thank you. DIANE. Jesus, Mama, I should've listened to you. Why didn't I listen
to you?
(BENITA exits.)
THE GIRL. For the same reasons I didn't listen to my mother when
DIANE. (DIANE leans close to MAXINE.) Hi, Mama. It's me, Diane. she warned me about Bob. Because he was cute.
I'm here with you. (She takes her hand.) Denise is coming too. Mama.
She's flying down from Vancouver to be with you. She'll be here in DIANE. I always gave you such a hard time.
just a few hours. Just a few hours. Mama. So if you can hang on... If THE GIRL. We gave each other a hard time.
you can just hang on then you'll have both your girls with you. Isn't
DIANE. I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter.
that the way you want it? Denise loves you so much. Mama. She'd feel
just awful if she wasn't here to say goodbye. You know how she is, THE GIRL. You were better than your sister.
she'll take it as some kind of personal thing. She'll blame me for not DIANE. I should've been more understanding, I should've been
calling her early enough. She'll say I planned it that way, like I was more patient with you. And I shouldn't have let anyone take Bob
the one who forced her to move to fucking Canada... Sorry, Mama... away from you. I should've done something.. .anything...
oh shit... (She starts to cry.) I'm acting petty and selfish and all the
ways you told me and Denise not to act like with each other...and THE GIRL. Like what? What are you, a magician? Let it go, honey.
at a time like this... God, am I fucked up... Sorry, Mama... Anyway, Let go.
I just want you to know that I remember—and Denise does too, I DIANE. (Pause.) You can let go. Mama. Whenever you have to.
know she does—what a wonderful mom you always were. How you Whenever you want to.
sewed us all those cute little matching outfits when we were little...
70 Kim Carney
Also available at Playscripts, Inc
THE GIRL. You sure?
DIANE. I'll let go too. Miracle on
THE GIRL. Oh, good. Thank you. (She twirls.) Freedom is wonderful. South Division
DIANE. (Listening for a breath from MAXINE;) Mama? (She lays her
head on MAXINE's body.) Oh, Mama.. .for the rest of my life nobody's Street
ever gonna love me as much as you did. by Tom Dudzick
THE GIRL. I still do. I always will. (Beat.) Don't worry, Punkin, we'll Comedy/Drama, 85-95 minutes
meet again. 3 females, 1 male
(THE SAILOR appears and she turns to him.)
Meet the Nowaks of Buffalo, NY. Clara and her three grown kids have
THE GIRL. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta fly. always known they were special, ever since the miraculous night in
(She runs into his arms and he twirls her around. "Moonglow" 1942 when the Blessed Mother appeared to Grandpa in his barbershop!
plays as the lights fade on DIANE, and THE GIRL and THE Since then, the neighborhood has looked upon the Nowaks' 20-foot
SAILOR dance away.) commemorative shrine as a beacon of hope and faith amidst the urban
rubble. And now daughter Ruth unveils her plan to write and star in a one-
End of Play
woman show about the family miracle so the "whole world will know!"
However, as her plans for theatrical immortality unfold, the entire family's
faith is shaken to the very core when a deathbed confession causes the
family legend to unravel. The results are heartfelt and hilarious. (Included
is a guide for turning this play into a Christmas Play.)

The Spoon
River Project
adapted by
Tom Andolora
based on Spoon River Anthology
by Edgar Lee Masters

Play with Music

85-95 minutes
5 females, 6 males (10-18 actors possible)

In this beautifully haunting play based on Edgar Lee Masters' Spoon River
Anthology, the former residents of Spoon River examine life and the
longing for what might have been. As the citizens reflect on the dreams,
secrets, and regrets of their lives, they paint a gritty and honest portrait
of the town as all of their pasts are illuminated.

Order online at: www.playscripts. com

 Also available at Playscripts, Inc

25 Questions for a
Jewish Mother
by Kate Moira Ryan
and Judy Gold
Memoir/Comedy
60-70 minutes
4 females (1-21 possible)

Part memoir and part stand-up routine,

this hilarious and affecting play breaks
down just what makes Jewish mothers
so lamentable, laughable, and lovable.
Comedienne Judy Gold and playwright Kate Moira Ryan seamlessly weave
Kim Carney
actual interviews with Jewish mothers across the United States together Kim Carney is an award-winning playwright whose work has
with memories from Gold's childhood and her own experiences as a been seen throughout Michigan and across the country. Last
Jewish mother in order to create a performance piece that explores it all: season, her comedy The War Since Eve had an extended run at
from rugelach to rabbis, matzoh to marriage, Ann Landers to Anne Frank,
Ann Arbor’s Performance Network theatre, where Moonglow
and guilt to G-D.
won Best New Play awards from both the Ann Arbor News and
the Lansing State Journal before being optioned by Broadway
producers. Other plays include The Home Team (American
Consider the Theatre Critics Award nominee), Maggie Rose, Labor Day, Only
Me and You, and Nooner. Carney is a graduate of Wayne State
Oyster University and a recipient of its Arts Achievement Award, as
by David MacGregor well as a member of the Dramatists Guild.
Comedy, 100-110 minutes
3 females, 2 males (4-5 actors
possible)

When Gene breaks his leg

after proposing to girlfriend Marisa, he begins to feel some odd changes.
It turns out the oyster shell that the doctor left in his leg to assist with his
healing is causing him to slowly transition into a female—just the way an
oyster does. Can Gene learn to live his life as a different gender, and will
he—or she—be able to feel the same for his fiancee? Consider the Oyster
is a funny and surprising exploration of gender and our changeable
human nature.

Order online at: WWW.playSCHptS.COm

Moonglow
by Kim Carney
Comedy/Drama
100-110 minutes
4 f, 3 m
Set: Suggested locations consist of a bedroom and
Ih::. lounge area in a home for the elderly.

Maxine, a feisty, bitter Alzheimer’s victim, doesn’t want to move

into a nursing facility. But when she meets Joe, a widower who
shares her love for dance, her outlook begins to change. Although
the two clash when lucid, their hazy memories overlap, and they
begin an affair that rejuvenates and fulfills them. But can these
lovers — played simultaneously by an elderly twosome and a
young, vivacious couple - stay together despite their families’
wishes and their fading vitality?

o * MADEt'hneUSA *
28506