know it when you see it

For my first post of 2014, I'm digging back into my past for a story.  I am offering up a story that explains the gift of manners and respect I received from my Mom (I should give Dad some credit too but his lessons were often loud and so blunt so it wasn't always clear if there was some deeper message.)

Before I drop you into the story (actually being dropped isn't nice - hmm maybe I should ease you into the story) I must state that I've been told on occasion that I was being rude. So I have failed at manners. I'm no manners expert but I do respect people and try not to fail.

I also have failed many parents challenges over the years.  Our kids pushing me to the edge has reminded me of how difficult it is to maintain control in these situations.  Please understand I'm not judging the parents who I know nothing of their background in this story.

One thing I believe you'll agree about - bad parenting - you know it when you see it.

(one minor note - I wanted to use a picture of my own but how often do you take pictures of bad manners?  I found this attitude face on the internet somewhere. )

Summer 2005 - AA 2325 flight Chicago – Dallas Fort Worth – final destination Long Beach CA. As I work my way through another business trip which always has the potential of a small adventure, I decide to capture some thoughts of the trip. Since I was able to plan this trip, I selected a midday flight. I am not a morning person. I suspect many travelers like me judge a trip by the number of hassles encountered getting from A to B. So far it’s not been too bad. Plenty of backed-up traffic on I-294 and a filled up airport parking lot, but I anticipated that and allowed myself plenty of time.  (planning pays off the best when confronted by the unexpected) I got through security and even had time for a salad at Chili’s airport restaurant. Eating alone at an airport restaurant seems more accepted than eating alone most anywhere else.  

Row 25

My seat is in row 24, but in 25 is a young family. As I approach my seat I hear screaming and yelling. Two little girls with mom and dad are threatening my chance of a peaceful flight. The youngest and loudest one wants to play with her tray and doesn’t seem fazed by her mother’s threats. One interesting threat her mother shared with the passengers was “they have special seat in the back for children who misbehave.” She might as well told her they would strap her on the wing, she didn’t care.

Luckily I came prepared with a laptop filled with music. With all the electronic gadgets available hopefully other passengers were able to entertain themselves instead of listen to these unruly kids. The row 25 family had a DVD player for the kids. The three year-old I hear (all nearby passengers also discover this within seconds) does not want to share the view of the screen with her sister. 

Finally we landed and my hope of escape from row 25 is restored.  As we crowd the aisle waiting to deplane the kids were behind me. In this tight space bumping one another is common. So it didn’t surprise me that one of the girls bumped me a few times. It was not a big deal. What did surprise me was the mother’s response. She told her daughter that if she kept it up she would let the man (me) smack her. What a crazy thing to say. I later wondered if it was a ploy to sue me if I took her up on the offer.

My experience of traveling with a gaggle of kids has been both a joy and a terror.  Sleep schedules, skipped meals, delays, weather can overwhelm the best two year old and the rest of their family.

The one-who-knows (my wife) did a return international trip on her own with just the kids (I really had to stay - really for work). I don’t recall any crying or fussing from our kids on our long ride over to Ireland. Maybe I just don’t remember but I think the kids were excited enough about the trip that they just enjoyed the experience.  That's the key - enjoy the adventure.

Back in 1989, none of them even had CD players yet. The boom box was still popular (tape and radio) but those were not allowed in the aircraft cabin. The youngest was not 4 yet and the next oldest had just turned 9. They brought books and colored. Being an overseas flight we had music and some movies provided. But the movies shown on screens for the whole cabin don’t provide much to a little kid that could hardly see over the seatbacks.

Return trip different row
Long Beach airport – a new favorite for me. A fellow traveler pointed out as we walked across the tarmac, Long Beach airport is probably the only airport in the US with no Starbucks (anyone know if it does now?). The airport did have a coffee/snack stand.

For comparison to the early family there was family with two (maybe three – I don’t remember) young boys waiting to board the flight to Dallas. The youngest appeared to be about the same age as the young girl in row 25. They were probably closer in age than the row 25 set. The youngest boy came running through the gate area when his dad pointed out the plane. I think he was ready to run outside and jump on-board. Dad called to him to stop and he did. Unlike row 25 family, no yelling or threats were exchanged. Instead the dad seemed interested in answering his young son’s many questions. The difference in the parents’ attitudes of these families influenced the behavior of the kids. The Long Beach Dad appeared interested in making the most of what a trip can be for a young kid – a learning experience.

I'm no expert on teaching manners or discipline, but nonsensical threats only backfire. Kids learn quickly that threats are not backed by anything. You lose control at that point.

Change is constant with the technology in our daily lives. I wonder if the gadgets are used unsuccessfully to bribe kids. Disciplined kids however, I suspect come from techniques practiced since the beginning of families.

Share a comment - and thanks Mom, I think I get it now but it's still an effort to face down a tantrum.

(a few readers might remember this post - I revised it.)

will friday fragments be saturday this week

After all, our garbage pick-up was delayed one day. 

This past week we had a Tuesday-Monday. I heard that expression on a local news broadcast. It makes sense. Feeling like Tuesday is Monday after a three day weekend is very common. This had me wondering if Mrs. 4444’s FF collection activity might lean closer to Saturday.

What if we just dropped the names of weekdays and just used the month and number instead? For example, instead of saying let’s meet Tuesday, we would just say let’s meet Sept. 10. Calendar sales would increase and we might get better at simple math. No more confusion about meaning the next Friday or the Friday in the next week.

One downside to my drop-weekday-names idea is the elimination of many song titles and lyrics. “Manic Monday”, “Monday Monday” song titles just would not work anymore. What would have Elton written instead of “Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting”?

I was going to research the history of day names, but I got bored and popped a bag of microwave popcorn instead. Too bad for you, I can’t share popcorn over the internet.

My idiotic idea generating ability runs almost nonstop. The other day my wife and I stopped in a Panda Express for a late lunch. I asked her if she thought anyone ever came in and asked if panda was served on the menu. She said no but suggested I could ask. I didn't. What do you think?

After a bit of sharing of this profound question with my extended family (They probably extend me too much), I came up with additional similar questions.

Should Star bucks sell venison?
Do they have Olive Oil at Popeyes?


The exchange with a SIL was good:

SIL: Does the Burger King have a Queen?
Me: No she is at the Dairy.

On the smartphone again. 

Just can’t wait to get on the smartphone again. …

(the above lyric is warning that Lisleman is working on another screwy parody. Here’s the last one in case you avoided it.) 

Ahhh, I just found another fragment at the bottom of the popcorn bag. First off, I am not a big lover (liker is not a word right?) of Facehook Facebook. I do find the sharing of pictures and event updates good. Nice people in real life can become rude a-holes on social media. It’s like a virtual traffic jam and a driver just drove on the shoulder and cut back in front of you. I find this post-this-or-you-are-bad posting very annoying and dumb. Here’s the bottom portion of that type post a friend re-posted.

I ask you if you see the logic problem with the end of this stupid FB graffiti. Actually maybe it’s a punctuation problem. My reading is - I’m against bullying so I don’t re-post. Maybe there should be a period between “don’t” and “re-post”. Really there should be a social rule against being bullied into re-posting.

if I were famous

Or even the brother of a famous person, I would be very careful with my social networking activity.

Did you know Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook fame has a sister?

If you follow any of the tech news you probably know now if you didn’t before. Mark’s sister, who also had been a FB executive at one time, was shocked to discover a detail of FB picture sharing settings. She lost the control of one of her recent pictures.

There is a bit of education in this story. Her drama occurred because after posting this family picture (a pic of her family enjoying another FB app I guess) a friend of a family friend tweeted a link to it. A hard-learned lesson in FB’s confusing privacy settings.

I believe the FB rule is friends of anyone tagged in the picture receive the posting in their feed. One very basic rule about FB - it all about spreading and sharing things easily.

So a Zuckerberg, a former company exec, gets tripped up by the creation that brought them fame and fortune. A very schadenfreude moment.

The following won’t help you understand the privacy settings but it’s funny.

I can think clearly

I can think clearly now that the sniffling annoyance is gone.

I’m at my local library. Yeah the one I pay local taxes to keep running. Money spent for a good public service in my opinion.

The first table I sat down at turned out not to be the best choice. The free (tax funded - so hey people, I chipped in on this) internet connection was initially very slow. Had it been faster my slideshow with music playing on headphones would have cancelled out the sniffling noise of that punk (he was annoying so he is a punk for now) sitting at the table behind me. Maybe it’s a cold, maybe allergies, maybe cocaine, don’t know, don’t really care. Just go perform your sniffle sonata somewhere on the other side of the rainbow. You know what, I know a expressway where you could practice.

I got up and re-located and found a better internet connection but no power outlet. That position was much better but my old battery (in the laptop not me) soon needed a recharge. Now I’m sitting in the “Thomas A. Sanchez Reading Area”. Thanks Tommy. A multi-plug extension cord between two nice chairs and table. I might start my library adventure here next time.

I went looking on Pinterest for sniffling or sniffing. There is subtle but not muted difference between sniff and sniffle. I found this interesting picture of a tobacco sniffing contest - who knew? Oh yeah maybe that punk at the other table. Both annoying and disgusting.

Source: totallycoolpix.com via lisleman on Pinterest

OMG - I’m so thankful to have a blog to complain on.
 
And I think to myself, it will be bright sunshiny night and I’ll be up all night.


another circus 

nice to be nice

I found this on Facebook.

It reminded me not to be so quick to form an opinion of others based on a short interaction.  Also, it's good to think about others and not just yourself.


The clip is worth watching and thinking about.  Be nice.

could of happened to me

The Chicago Tribune site runs a feature (service?) called "Mugs in the News".  I know various law enforcement agencies often publish mug shots too.

Today I glanced over and I just could not resist checking out the story behind this title:

Punched Slow Driver

Here's the mug shot:

Hinsdale Police Department Photo

Now first off let's be clear here, this woman has ONLY been accused of a battery offense.  So remember "innocent until proven guilty".

I just want to say, this could of happened to me.  I have driven through the intersection where the alleged road rage crime occurred.  I also have been accused of driving too slow.  Just the other day my MIL insinuated that I drove too slow.  But I know she would never punch me.

Also I noticed this snarky comment on the web page with the story. 

"Only in Hinsdale can you have your mug shot taken while wearing pearl earrings, a diamond necklace and a designer bag over your shoulder. However, I hope she was on her way to get a root touch-up"

Oh one very last bit of advice - don't smile for you mug shot.  No one expects you to be in a happy mood.

Manners - A Treasured Gift

Jillsy Girl started a blogging exercise not long ago called Prompt Me Wednesday.

This week we have been prompted to express (not limited to writing) ourselves on a treasured gift. I am offering up a story that explains the gift of manners and respect I received from my Mom (I should give Dad some credit too but his lessons were often loud and blunt so it wasn't always clear if there was some deeper meaning.)

Before I drop you into the story (actually being dropped isn't nice - hmm maybe I should ease you into the story) I must state that I've been told on occasion that I was being rude. So I have failed at manners. I'm no manners expert but I do respect people and try not to fail.

Summer 2005 - AA 2325 flight Chicago – Dallas Fort Worth – final destination Long Beach CA.

As I work my way through another business trip which always has the potential of a small adventure, I decide to capture some thoughts of the trip. Since I was able to plan this trip, I selected a midday flight. I am not a morning person.

As I suspect many travelers do, I judge a trip by the number of hassles encountered getting from A to B. So far it’s not been too bad. Plenty of backed-up traffic on I-294 and a filled up airport parking lot, but I anticipated that and allowed myself plenty of time. I got through security and even had time for a salad at Chili’s airport restaurant. Eating alone at an airport restaurant seems more accepted than eating alone most anywhere else.

Row 25

My seat is in row 24, but in 25 is a young family. As I approach my seat I hear screaming and yelling. Two little girls with mom and dad are threatening my chance of a peaceful flight. The youngest and loudest one wants to play with her tray and doesn’t seem fazed by her mother’s threats. One interesting threat heard that day was “they have special seat in the back for children who misbehave.” She might as well told her they would strap her on the wing, she didn’t care. Mom and Dad need to get some training from TV’s super nanny.

Luckily I came prepared with a laptop filled with music. With all the electronic gadgets available hopefully other passengers were able to entertain themselves instead of listen to these unruly kids. The row 25 family had a DVD player for the kids. The three year-old I hear (all nearby passengers also discover this within seconds) does not want to share the view of the screen with her sister.

We have landed and there is hope of escape from row 25.

As we were waiting to deplane the kids were behind me in the crowded aisle. In this tight space bumping one another is common. So it didn’t surprise me that one of the girls bumped me a few times. It was not a big deal. What did surprise me was the mother’s response. She told her daughter that if she kept it up she would let the man (me) smack her. What a crazy thing to say. I later wondered if it was a ploy to sue me if I took her up on the offer.

My wife and I traveled with all of our five kids on a trip to Ireland in 1989.   We packed ourselves into a small version of what might be called a minivan today.  Great sites were seen.  But I was reminded that young kids don't appreciate the fine differences between second and third castle of the weekend.

The hero (my wife) did the return trip with just the kids (I really had to stay - really for work). I don’t recall any crying or fussing from our kids on our long ride over the Atlantic. Maybe I just don’t remember but I think the kids were excited enough about the trip that they just enjoyed the experience.

Back in 1989, none of them even had CD players yet. The boom box was still popular (tape and radio) but those were not allowed in the aircraft cabin. The youngest was not 4 yet and the next oldest had just turned 9. They brought books and colored. Being an overseas flight we had music and some movies provided. But the movies shown on screens for the whole cabin don’t provide much to a little kid that could hardly see over the seatbacks.


Return trip

Long Beach airport – a new favorite for me. A fellow traveler pointed out as we walked across the tarmac, Long Beach airport is probably the only airport in the US with no Starbucks. Starbucks has covered the west coast very completely. The airport did have a coffee/snack stand.

Free Wi-Fi at the gate in this small airport!!

For comparison to the early family there was family with two (maybe three – I don’t remember) young boys waiting to board the flight to Dallas. The youngest appeared to be about the same age as the young girl in row 25. They were probably closer in age than the row 25 set. The youngest boy came running through the gate area when his dad pointed out the plane. I think he was ready to run outside and jump on-board. Dad called to him to stop and he did. Unlike row 25 family, no yelling or threats were exchanged. Instead the dad seemed interested in answering his young son’s many questions. The difference in the parents’ attitudes of these families influenced the behavior of the kids. The Long Beach Dad appeared interested in making the most of what a trip can be for a young kid – a learning experience.

I'm no expert on teaching manners or discipline, but nonsensical threats only backfire. Kids learn quickly that threats are not backed by anything. You lose control at that point.

Change is constant with the technology in our daily lives. I wonder if the gadgets are used unsuccessfully to bribe kids. Disciplined kids however, I suspect come from techniques practiced since the beginning of families.

Share a smile - and thanks Mom, I think I get it now.