dogs it's complicated

I don't have a current relationship with a dog (or a cat).  It's not like I don't like dogs.  One thing I've learned about myself is I don't want to be a dog sitter.  Dogs should be the ones sitting.  Sit!

When dogs visit they should be accompanied by their owners.  I don't want to take over any dog responsibilities.

There were a few times in my life when I was a dog owner.  Marley lasted the longest.  Waldo had to be adopted when I changed apartments and our family grew.  Waldo made it clear that I was not a great dog trainer either.  Good dog owners are also good dog trainers.

You don't need to be a dog lover to enjoy funny dog pictures.  I've used the two last pictures below before on my blog.  The top picture of Grizzly has not been posted before.  Not having seen Grizzly for a few years, I not sure he still has that baby face.

Oh one more dog related thought.  My BIL asked me the other day,

"Do you know what happens when you put your wife and your dog in the trunk and then open it awhile later?

The dog is still happy to greet you."

take it easy this post runs on fragments

Hey boys and girls it's that time again. Time for Friday Fragments post reading/browsing. FF post central is over at Mrs. 4444’s blog.

If you are a blogger and have not tried a FF post, you should because it’s easy writing. No topic to follow, questions to answer, just write down fragments of thought, life, like whatever (but don’t use “like” in that way, Mrs. 4444 might subtract points).

Hey regular FF bloggers did you notice the new FF button? (See above) I like it much better than the old one which is still available.

A bit of serendipity about that new FF button. Today in the Chicago Tribune (does Mrs. 4444 read the Chicago Tribune?) I just read a half page article about the origin of that phrase meme. Back in WW2 the British government had made posters for their war effort that read, "Keep Calm and Carry On". Thirteen years ago a bookstore owner found one of these original posters in a box of books he bought at auction. He framed the poster and hung it up in his bookstore. Later he started making and selling copies of the poster. Another Englishman, sly businessman took the poster idea and applied for and was granted a trademark on the phrase. (ridiculous IMHO)  There is an ongoing legal appeal to overturn the trademark.

don't get caught with your fuzzy slipper in your mouth

I click my own profile to find my past G+ postings. Today I noticed Google added a youtube tab. Now I can easily find my youtube uploads along with all my G+ babble. Is social media getting too narcissistic?

slow but lasting

“Can't Take My Eyes Off You” is the ultimate stalker song.

oh waterman you're fresh

Recently I texted, “Waiting for her to hold class mouse.”

Story behind the text (I still use a flip-phone so my texting words by phone keypad are kept short) 

The regular sitting arrangement for our son’s kids went absent due to illness, so we (grandparents) received the call for backup. My first assignment was kindergarten pick-up. 

The teacher spotted me as I stood outside the classroom door. She waved me in. She had just gather the kids around to show them the special treat of the week (month?). She introduced the newest member of the class, the class mouse. A cute little thing with cow-like white and black coloring. Everyone had a chance to hold it which takes a little time since the teacher needed to watch out for drops or squeezes. I don’t remember any class pets at my grade school. A school classroom would be a better place for a mouse pet than a home.

he will stop soon the fragments are starting to smell

I benefit from low expectations. Becoming an Uncle really doesn’t take any effort at all. Become a brother and someday you just might become an uncle. Now (again no effort on my part) I might become the uncle of a celebrity. I posted about it here. My nephew, Justin, read the post but didn’t drop a comment here instead thanked me via email. He replied “of course you can drive my car someday!“ So I got that going for me.

(Remember - Please take a moment to locate this planet’s emergency exits.)

bloggers on big snails

As spokesman for the Institute for Better Postings I want to share a bit of news and commentary on another spokesperson. Perhaps this spokeswoman had a few spokes stuck in her head. Perhaps it's that Florida sun.

this is not the spokeswoman it's a huge snail

This story comes to us from Florida, once known for the Florida Citrus Commission spokeswoman who disliked gays but loved oranges (extra points if you remember her name). I have no idea what she thinks of snail sexuality, but I suspect few people have ever written those words so lets move on.

A recent Chicago Tribune newspaper (extra points if you still read newspapers) printed this article from Reuters. I suspect the article might have been saved for page filler but it did include a similar nice picture as above.

Guess what? The Burmese Python is not the only invasive species (I believe Florida's first invasive species was the New York retiree) in Florida. Today Florida is fighting snails, huge snails, big enough to carry away a small child. Why does Florida have such a constant problem with invasive species? I don't know but suspect it's the sun effect on people's brains.

Alright fine, another animal invasion. Even Illinois didn't want to be let out so we opened our rivers up to an Asian Carp invasion (see fishy news). However, the basic news of a big bad snail alone would not merit a post here at the institute (we have standards). What makes this snail article special are the spokeswoman's quotes:

"They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you ... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that,"
"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products,"

As a spokesperson myself I would never offer the hint of a suggestion that I communicate with snails. My spokesperson training tells me, her suggestive statement completely destroyed her authority on this scientific subject. That's not bad enough. No, she continues to discuss her consumption of ham sandwiches and oranges. Really, would you not agree that while eating either of these items you would certainly notice even a tiny snail inside? I would never go to her house for lunch.

loved this headline

Illegal monkey living on Frosted Flakes bites woman

Really? Doesn't EVERYONE know you don't feed monkeys Frosted Flakes. Tigers eat Frosted Flakes. I suspect that woman was a flake and probably not even frosted. 

A java macaque monkey was involved in this incident.   So was a flaky woman. 




Now a completely unrelated story -  

I read a recent post by Pam over on Empty Nest in which she gives her review the grey book that more than 50 women are talking about every 50 minutes or so.

Her post got me pondering and I post the following on my G+ stream.  

Hey shady readers or people who are attracted to the number 50 - I have not searched extensively but does anyone know of a male reviewer of these popular books. Could a guy make it through reading this stuff? I remember reading a bit of Women are from Venus and Men are from bars or something like that. It was years ago. Just wondering.

I got a few good comments on this question - you can join in here or on G+


Hey did you notice the bit of grey in Frankenstein's bride.  Just think how that story would of changed if E. L. James had been the author.

Oscar inspired

I watched it last night. I like Billy Crystal. You know way back in my previous life the Oscars were too serious for many jokes. I’m so glad they have lighten-up. 

Did you notice that “The Artist” was nominated for best original screenplay? It’s a SILENT film, as in no dialog. Maybe it could have won shortest screenplay? Alright, I know the screenplay gives screen directions and descriptions. There was writing involved, ok.
(oh BTW what award does the dog in The Artist get?)

My only screenplay playing was on Xtranormal. Remember my big hit “uncertainty principle and politics”? Yeah I didn’t think so. (the link if you care) Anyone can create a dialog but note I didn’t say “good dialog”. Do you want to try? I found this odd funny clip of a dog securing his latest treasure. Please write a dialog for this silent film. You can drop it off in the comment section.

Here’s my dialog attempt for this dog performing clip. (all spoken by the dog - a one dog show) 

He scores! 

Wooo wooo look at the size of the this baby. 

Back to my cage and enjoying all to myself. 

Damn 

Damn 

What the hell. 

Why doesn’t this work. 

Hey you human, lend a good doggie a hand here. Yeah you with the camera. Useless humans 

Oh by the way I clean this floor better with my tail than you do with your opposable thumbs. 

Useless slacker humans I’ll do it myself. 

Hmm 

Maybe if I try from inside of the cage. 

Damn still stuck 

Oops, oh no don’t roll on that dirty floor. 

Yes, yes He scores!

another circus 

faithful furry friday fragments

I have written many FF posts since I got hooked on Mrs. 4444’s meme. Typically I would start off with (IMHO) a funny line or two about her blog or maybe her cold northern midwest location. Today I start with a small tribute to Cooper. 

This past week the 4444’s family dog Cooper passed on. I only met their fun loving dog through her blog and youtube clips. This one is my favorite clip and Cooper thanks for giving me a laugh. I wish I could throw you a bone.

Holy google maps! 

I noticed a story of a mansion being listed this week for $2.7 million. But it wasn’t the money (maybe I could play rich one day and tour the home?) but its location and unique in-ground pool that attracted me to the story. The Chicago suburb, Hinsdale is not that big so I went to google maps to find the Batman pool. You can find it too but to speed your search along I’ll embed a map of it below. Anyone for a Batman themed pool party? (zoom in to see it better)



View cool pool 2 in a larger map

Random factoid fragment - there exists a massive pancake-shaped cloud of dust in our galaxy. It’s called the zodiacal cloud which sounds cool to me. A piece of it resides under my bed.

I don’t tempt fate with this now, but do you remember leaning back on your chair’s back legs as a way to impress others? 

When you lean too far and fall you instantly become the biggest fool. There must be a lesson in that somewhere.

He smelled like sweat-dried gym shoes 

with hint of mint. 

Could that be the start of a character description? I don’t even remember what I was reading when I jotted down this description. Now I’m not sure what to do with it. Maybe it’s a reminder to buy some new walking shoes and change my socks. Anyone for a mint?

(proofreading provided by C. F. Eyecare)

fly me to the fragment

Are your fragments coalesced yet? I start collecting mine days before Friday and by Thursday I’m ready to dump them on you. Don’t worry they don’t stain. You probably know what I’m talking about but if you don’t and you happened to stumble over here for the first time please take a look and then direct yourself to the Friday Fragment collector, Mrs. 4444.

 

It snowed today. Now it is January 12 so this typically would be not be anything worth reporting for a Chicagoland winter. But for some reason which I’m NOT complaining about, winter has been postponed this year.  No shoveling, no complaints.  So far, it’s not much but enough to shovel.

our grand-dog - I think she likes snow

Do you know much about black holes? I have read a number of physic books so I understand the concept. There is astronomical evidence that a big one exists at the center of our galaxy. 

One of the characteristics of a black hole is the crossing of the point of no return (fancy name is event horizon). Have you ever experience the event of not realizing the time spent following links on the internet? I think there might be black holes on the internet, so be careful.

This pinterest site shows signs of being a potential black hole internet site. I had heard of it not too long ago and thought it’s just of lots of fashion, hair styles, home decorating and shopping stuff up there. I could care less. 

Then FF collector, Mrs. 4444, mentioned it on her FF post and I respect her suggestions so I took a deeper look at it. I was surprised about the variety of things that users collect up there. You can find hunting, sports, beer, and even junk robots. I joined. I don’t have too much yet but take a look:

As we age and our focus dulls, often our conversations turn into word guessing games. Have you had this happen yet?  Don't worry there is still time.  The guessing game can provide comic relief in some situations. 

(during the middle of a possible conversation with a sibling) 

“Oh what was it I was going to say It was somewhere we were and I was laughing about something.”

“That’s pretty vague. How would I know but here’s a few clues from our conversation so far: teens, parties, the beach, seagulls, sunscreen...” 

“No that doesn’t help. Oh darn, it was a good story too.” 

“Well maybe it will come you later.” 

“Oh, oh, now I remember. Remember the time you dropped your ice cream cone on the back seat and then tried to lick it off?” 

“No not really.”

Lisleman’s news that you don’t need

Would any of you like to sponsor this news? 

Yeah I didn’t think so. Great news - what we have all been waiting for - finally

McTV is here and in high definition 

“McTV” as in a private TV channel for McDonald restaurants.

found this on Jafabrit sometime ago

Oh no there are not putting the flat screens in the stalls.  McDonalds will be rolling out their own TV programming on the flat screens in the dinning area.  So get out of the drive-thru lane and get inside for exciting Mc-shows.

The nearby Mickey D's doesn't have the programming but they did put in a nice flat screen TV.  I've enjoyed CNN while munching on my fries.

And now this breaking news on dog poop -

AshPuppie Dog Poop Incinerator

I’ve done a couple of posts on inventions lately. I'm probably wrong but I think this high tech poop incinerator is an invention before it's time.


Well thanks everyone that's it for today.


Oh wait, this breaking news just in -

Woman charged after pelting husband with cupcakes

Lisleman is off to find any crumbs on this story.

another what if by lisleman

What if someone asked me for tag line ideas for a doggie daycare?

(I’m not very knowledgeable on pet care, so please let me know if a kitty daycare exists. Cats are picky and really into themselves. Please correct my view on cats if you like. Except if you are a cat then I don’t care to hear from you.  Who let cats get on the internet in the first place?  A daycare would not be popular with cats. Cat fights.)

If I had a doggie daycare I would use these tag lines in my ads:

Your dog will lift a leg for our daycare.

Best butt sniffs in town.

The dogs are lined up to sniff your arrival.

Give your dog more than a bone to chew.

Bark, yelp, wag, roll over to a real treat.

We don't have a dog anymore.  Our schnoodle was part of the family years ago.  Sure there are times that the dog's welcome is missed but the many responsibilities of pet care are not missed.  I suspect these doggie daycare operators probably see owners who might not fit the good dog owner type.  Why have a dog if you are not going to walk it often.

Back in 2009, I learned about a new airline just for pets. Pet Airways is still in business. Here’s a funny clip from Jay Leno about Pet Airways.

dog watch dog days doggone it

I picked up one of my granddogs on Friday. She was excited to leave in my car with me but after a few blocks started whining. Maybe she expected a different trip. I have not traveled much with her. Maybe she doesn’t like my driving.

She will be “vacationing” at our house while my daughter is vacationing elsewhere.

Just to be clear. The dog pictures in this post were taken by my daughter. I have no reason to suspect the dog has a drinking problem. But she is old enough in dog years. I was able to drink a beer in front of her without her asking for one.

Another test will be walking her in front of bar to check her reaction. If I knew she could attract free drinks I would consider taking her out some night.

Based on her barking, I know she would be a LOUD drunk if she did drink. One of those blabbering drooling drunks that smell like a dog. Well she can’t help the smell, she is a dog.

I think she maybe addicted to cushions and pillows.

 

Like pictures on a Sunday? - check out Unknown Mami and her Sunday picture 

wacky wandering Wednesday

Whoa,

what the,

wow,

wait,

where is,

what if,

wish I would,

write this down,

what’s with w’s?

Analysis Paralysis - I credit a friend and co-worker with coming up with this term. He might have heard it somewhere else but I first heard him use it at work at times we were waiting and waiting for a decision from management.

Have you ever experienced it?

There has been times I think too much.

Oh that’s great idea/story/event to blog about, I tell myself. Next, I’m off looking for a little more info on it. Wait, what’s this interesting whatever? Now, I have another idea wandering around my brain cells.  Hmm, which idea do I post?

superhero fatigue - That seemed like a great blog idea a few days ago. It was mentioned on CNBC in a discussion of Hollywood and the movie industry. I have a few posts about Batman and Chicago (here’s one) but I’m not a big superhero fan. I don’t know all the X-men and don’t know if I want to. I noticed that they scraped the bottom of the barrel with “The Green Hornet”. The story never even made it as a TV series (just one season). Another “green” one is coming this summer - Green Lantern.

The comical decisions by the movie producers overplaying their superhero idea to a dull boring end, might not be my best post idea.

Whoa do you smell that?

“Don’t have a cow” is a phrase I have used. The person behind another post idea had a cow but didn’t have a horse. 

Have you heard about Luna the cow?

Photograph: Kerstin Joensson

A German teenage girl trained her cow like a horse. I stopped my research (analysis paralysis remember) before verifying my hunch that the cow jumped over the moon is reason for Luna’s name.

Now those movie producers should pay attention. A cute animal, a young girl, and dream to do something unheard of, seems like a better basis for a movie than an oversized green guy. 

This cow jumping story would make a great movie - Luna the next “National Velvet” or “Black Beauty”.

I need an agent (maybe a cow).

what do you get when you mix a

mix

my blog with ideas popping in my head = this post

mix

Labrador with a poodle = Labradoodle.

I was happy to take the latest addition to the extended family on a walk this Thanksgiving.  Our daughter and husband got their first dog, a labradoodle.  She is a very quiet well behaved chocolate curly haired puppy.

mix

over-hyped black friday promos with Christmas online shopping = frustrating slow online shopping experience.  At one point I was greeted by this nice looking lady (she doesn't look any tech I've worked with) on an error page that explained the high level of traffic was disrupting their service - try again later.

mix

reality TV wannabe with today's media = stupid acts with balloons and White House dinners getting more coverage than they deserve.

Had this aspiring media grabbing reality show bimbo looked like Sarah Palin she would have never gotten pass the security.  This couple wants attention?  Ok give them some close scrutiny via an IRS audit.  Next up - balloon boy plans to float over upcoming White House event.  I agree with Ed.

mix

Queen's rock ballad with the muppets = fun video with more than 6 million views

(here's the link if you want to watch over on youtube link)

not a cat person - good thing

Animals can be funny and I've posted a picture or two myself.

But this LOL cats thing - is it really that popular?  

Good thing I much prefer dogs.  I don't have to get hooked on this web trend and then I noticed there's the same type of site for dogs.  Now which one gets more visitors?

A quick check at Alexa (page ranking site) shows the cats having a huge lead.  The lolcats.com site comes in at a rank of 52,406 and the laughoutloaddogs.com comes in at a rank 312,942.  

Do you think dogs deserve better?

Good heavy metal parody on LOL cats - Enjoy 

solar info link

Bless the beast except swine

Just a quick post -
My daughter and I had a good laugh reading the caption under a picture in the local paper (not the above pic).

There's a picture of a Reverend blessing a dog. I couldn't easily find the picture but just picture a dog being held up getting blessed. The funny part is the newspaper caption:

"... the Blessing of the Beasts worship service that took place Aug. 29 at .....
Cats, dogs and a parrot were blessed at the service, which was followed by a PORK CHOP DINNER served by the congregation's United Methodist Men's group."

I capitalized the dinner selection. We found it funny that they would have this carnivorous dinner along with the blessing of the beasts. I'm guessing swine is NOT included in the blessing.

Some veggie type dinner would have more appropriate - don't you think?

Oh the above pic is from a recent cook-out that was unseasonable cool. Need to keep the dog warm.

up in the air news

Because of my past career ties to the airline industry (see background if you're wondering), I probably notice airline news more than some. I find some of it interesting. Hope you do too.

(please note these stories are not related to each other - they just involve airlines or flying)



So has your dog or cat been pestering about their vacation plans?

You need to check out Pet Airways.

We love our pets and spend quite a lot of money on their well being. Now you can fly them in the main cabin on the first pet only airline. There is even a a pet-attendant that's on-board watching over the pet passengers.

I suggest they equip the planes with in-flight Wi-fi so they could offer a web cam of the flight.

(photo from Pet Airways)

Now this passenger on a recent United Airlines flight was acting like an animal. Too bad Pet Airways isn't flying yet maybe they could find a cage for her.

Passenger tries to bite flight attendant

"...fell to the floor and began "snapping like a dog" trying to bite a flight attendant's leg, the court papers said."

According to the story in the Chicago Tribune last week she was returning to the UK after hooking-up with a Californian she meet on the internet. OH the stories you hear about internet relationships. Maybe it didn't go well.

Her flight back sure didn't go well. They were forced to land in Maine and put her under arrest. Besides disrupting the flight it was said that she drank some hand lotion - strange?

And to wrap-up my "up in the air new":
When you have no choice and you are going down - go for the porta-potties.

Remember the water landing on the Hudson? Smaller plane and less water - Out in Washington a pilot landed his Cessna 182 on a group of porta-potties - shitty landing. He walked away but I don't think he cleaned up much after using them.
(this clip doesn't have sound)


Story here.

Share a smile

mini bull

-----
Since I posted this, my records show that this picture is very popular. I also consider it a very cute picture. Mini Bull and toddler - great combo

But the picture site I used for the blog Imageshack must have some limit on the number of times the picture is shown. Over the months I noticed this picture (and others ) don't always display. Any readers know more about this problem - please comment below.

Here's where I found the picture :
Little Moos picture web album

And here's the picture again (if imageshack is displaying you get the picture twice)


-----
I learned today that there are miniature cattle. In fact there are various breeds of mini cows and mini bulls. Now I don't have the land or inclination to become a cowboy anytime soon but it might make sense to start small.

One big benefit of the mini cattle is less feed and land for grazing. I read at one site that 3-4 acres is enough for a few of them.

So if I ever move out to some western state maybe I could start ranching on a real small scale. Might not be a bad idea for getting fresh milk.

Some people get them for pets. Remember the pot belly pig pets about 20 years ago?? I think a mini bull would be better.

Thanks to Little Moos for the above picture.
Here's some reasons to go small (maybe W should try this in retirement)


I wonder if they can moo very loud.

=========moooore info=====================
This link has other links about mini cattle and also an active message board.
Link

==============update=====================
If you happened here looking for mini cattle info those links above should be good, but if you are interesting in odd fun stuff check out my other blog.

If you want a list of other strange posting I've done here then click this.
==============yet another update =============
Well I wish I had more mini cattle/cow/bull info or stories to share but I don't.
Here's some more posts about pets.
Also, I checked those links above in the original post and they are still good links.
thanks for stopping by.
OH if you know MORE about mini cattle/cow/bull PLEASE leave a comment below.