Somewhere sometime

I don’t recall details of where it was or even when it was. Those details would be nice but not necessary. No crime was committed. Just talk.

And drinking.

The talker was a weathered man. Think Willie Nelson’s older brother.

His face turned pensive as he explained he must share a life lesson he learned.

“Don’t wait too long for love or you’ll miss it,” he said with confidence. I shook my head in agreement but since I was married I considered it a lesson I had already completed.

His tale went on to describe finding Lucy, beautiful, fun, and smart. Oh she was everything he dreamed love would be. Sadly, he quickly discovered she belonged to another. His life was forever incomplete.

“So you never found another woman to match your attraction for Lucy?”, I asked.


 

“Woman!, Ha you fool. Lucy was the best, brightest, golden retriever I ever met!”

Hey some of you might recall the hit song, “Shannon”. It was written about a lost dog.

So how bad has it gotten

So how bad has it gotten? 
The news coverage of our politics has gotten so bad that, trumpet players have taken up the cornet.

Don’t leave. I’m NOT going to write anything more on that sad subject.

extra charge for this guy's pedi

Instead let’s discuss fantasy characters and maybe a myth or two. Regular readers of A Few Clowns Short know the myth topic is seldom covered here. Really I don’t have the time to cover all the odd ideas that cross my synapses daily. Most of those odd ideas could be turned into a decent myth. I wrote about myths way back in 2011. (link )

Much like that 2011 post and many others for that matter, this post came about in a convoluted manner. Do you care? If no, then skip ahead.

I have in-laws who subscribed to the New Yorker (they would like the one liner at the top of this post). They started moving around frequently and decided to send the magazine to our house. They typically read it online anyway. You may know/experienced the high quality of writing in the New Yorker. I suspect some people may get it just for the cartoons.

I found this piece titled, “Fantastic Beasts and How to Rank Them” in Nov. 6 issue very thought provoking. (link )

I must say the first thing that caught my attention was at the very top of the page - Dept. of Speculation. 

Wow that’s exactly what I need here. I would certainly appoint myself as the first head of the department. Call myself Chief of Speculation. Enough about my organizational plans.

The author, Kathryn Schulz, writes, 

“One of the strangest things about the human mind is that it can reason about unreasonable things.”

The article centers around the workings of “willing suspension of disbelief”. I learned that idea goes back to the 1790’s. Even if you don’t belief in Spiderman or Wonder Woman you can still get very involved in their stories. How does this suspension of disbelief work? Ms. Schulz offers up various ideas about this ranging from the creature's biological makeup (size of Big Foot) to the physical nature of their powers (transformation of a vampire).

Within her discussion on judging the plausibility of fantastical beings there is a suggested game for your next party. Create a list of supernatural/mythical beings and ask your guests to rank their plausibility. I plan to try this and expect some interesting conversations. Now if it is a Christmas party, I suggest not including Santa or his elves.

Here’s my list:

• Wonder Woman
• Mermaid
• Big Foot
• Extraterrestrials visiting earth
• Angels
• Zombies
• Vampires
• Werewolves
• Flying fire breathing dragons
• Ghosts (do you agree an angel is not a ghost?)

Remember you do not need to actually believe in these creatures just rank them. If you are wondering, I rank mermaid as most plausible and flying dragons as least.

I agree with what she writes toward the end:

“Yet, in the end, what’s most remarkable is not that our fantasies contain so much reality; it is that our reality contains so much fantasy.”

And

“Better, perhaps, to know that what we feel in our happiest moments has some truth to it: life is magical.”

Unrelated to this speculation exercise - I found a TED talk that Kathryn Schulz gave on the importance of embracing our own fallibility. It was given in 2011 and still applies now as it did then. Maybe more so. Worth watching.

this or that

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...
This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause

Ok that's enough of that, I'm not marching into Hell. Too damn hot down there for me. Also, who in hell knows if they have a good internet connection there.

I have a short story to tell you.

Don't Drive Dead

The above picture came from a visit to the Auto Museum in Volo Il. last month. I was surprised by the number of cars they have, over 5 buildings of cars. Many cars from Hollywood.

My story involves a car but nothing to do with the Volo Museum.

I’m getting more absent minded or maybe I always have been. At a recent Sox game (they beat Detroit) everyone got a free lottery promotion ticket. The next day I stop at 7 Eleven use the machine and get a ticket. I'm studying the ticket as I walk back to the car. Open the door and notice a scent of cheap perfume and smoke. Weird I thought. I look down. It's NOT my car! Why don't people lock their cars? Thankfully nobody was sitting inside it. One of my daughters pointed out that I must have been dreaming of winning big. (I didn't)

fragments of a story

Thanks for reading my post. Would you like fragments with that?

I admit I got hooked on this Friday Fragment posting idea years ago. Mrs. 4444’s blog host a collection of FF postings. The idea is very simple with few rules.

Unlike the possibility of being a few fries short of a happy meal, you can’t be a few fragments short of a FF post. There is no minimum number of fragments. I don’t think I’ve ever posted with just one fragment but occasionally like today I post less than a handful. If by some lucky star (share a lucky star there are so many) you haven’t read one of my FF posts before, there are many here just click this link.

haven't yet read a scary FF post

I went missing from our connected world the other evening for 4 hours. I knew where I was, at my brother’s house. The problem was I left my phone in the car. Due to a long story of circumstances and one daughter’s failed attempts to reach me, it escalated into a neighbor needing to come into our house to check for me. She did discover my car was gone after which the ad hoc posse thought of checking with my brother.

We share house keys with a few neighbors. How about you?

are ice heads common in the North?

Someone out there is always pushing for a change. Often the change is a good thing but this one I just read about is certainly odd. Minnesota wants to leave the Midwest. Most Americans don’t spend much time thinking about our geographical regions. Well maybe a long Minnesota winter will cause you to do that. What do people think about sitting in an icehouse in the middle of a frozen lake?

The regions are typically broken out as; the Northeast, the South, the West and the Midwest. I would add Northwest and Texas (is Texas the South or Southwest or just Texas?). Anyway did you notice “the North” is not commonly used (unless you still consider yourself a Confederate). Minnesota wants to claim the region name, the North.

south end of a northern car

My old printer that died in last week (mentioned in last week's FF post) is now in fragments. I will try to find a use (not necessarily practical, maybe just silly) for its motors.  The plastics were recycled.

Well if you give a fragment, then check out the FF collection:

tell me this happens to you too

I'm out cruising the blogs.  Running down a link or two.  A post reminds me of a similar story I posted years ago.  Now I am inspired (I've lost that inspired feeling long ago) to find my old post and share the link with the blogger.  The search box I placed on my sidebar is less useful than a sidekick with no money or humor.

Fortunately, my labels/tags offer some help.  But which label should I scroll through?  I guess one with no luck.  The next one works after a few pages of posts.

Browsing over those older posts leaves me more annoyed.  Broken links, missing pictures, empty youtube clips, - wow it's starting to look like the man-cave corner of the basement.

 

This digital exercise leaves me wondering about those other social diseases sites such as the one where you get your face booked.

Given all those profound short status updates, how will anyone ever be able to quickly find that great status update written a year or was it two ago?

Twitter must be even worst.  Would anyone want to read a three year old tweet?

Oh, if you're curious and you must be if you are a blogger right?  Here's the post that reminded of this post. 

previously on Mars

When I founded the Lisleman Institute for Better Posting I toyed around with the idea of starting a space rumor group. (BTW when you toy with ideas you get to keep them unlike the shared toys in the playground.)

This space picture from Mars when combined with previous odd martian pictures would support a great rumor. There could be a martian up there that is littering Mars. Looks someone tossed a chewed leg from a their last BBQ on the ground over there. Such a low life.

Months ago it was a tossed jelly donut. (my first report on this)

All this litter will bring out the martian rats.

The rumor mill never stops turning.

Circular Notice (best kind of notice don’t you think?): This is to advise you that, unless otherwise expressly indicated, personal advice contained in this post is not intended to be used.

the woods both beautiful and scary

Summer should be planned spontaneous. Well isn't that the argument at times? Is it better to plan or not plan.  How you balance that decision is really personal choice. My wife and I traveled to both Central America and Europe with only reservations for the start and end of each trip. The middle part was filled in as we went. Making plans on the fly allows flexibility but sometimes can eat up your time searching for a clean place to rest your head.

Summer - warm, hot, wet, long days, thunder storms, sandy beaches,

It's a time to get out into nature and enjoy.  Nature is often spontaneous.

Sharing is good but not with the insects.

don't worry it's only art

I'm sharing another travel story.  Nature has been known to surprise me with adventure even when I don’t travel far.

Back during our daughter's teen years (an exciting/scary time for parents with or without natural storms) I became familiar with a YMCA camp in nearby Wisconsin.

She started as a camper and liked it enough that the next year she sign-up as a camp counselor (started in-training then progressively advanced to more important roles).

This became her summer plan for a few years. She enjoys kids and now she has become a teacher (and mom).

Dad fishing on a wooded lake

One of my trips to the camp became very memorable, nearly in a very bad way.

As a counselor she would have sessions at the camp lasting many weeks straight. When she had a free weekend she would be eager to come back. (these were pre-smartphone days)

So one summer Friday afternoon, I hurried up to the camp. Driving to the camp was enjoyable after getting off the interstate. The two lane country road was hilly, tree lined, and offered views of numerous small lakes. A road through many woods.

Ready to go when I arrived, we quickly were off on the ride home. However, we quickly discovered a nasty surprise from nature was about join us for the trip.

The wind is very noticeable in the woods. Watching large trees sway and snap their branches is a scary sight. The bigger trees sound like old men climbing creaking stairs.

As I pulled out from the dirt (now mud) road through the camp area woods onto the two lane country road, this summer thunder storm was about to peak. I pulled over on the shoulder for a short while. We were amazed and maybe shocked to see the debris being whipped across our path.

After what seemed the worst of it, I cautiously started down that scenic-turned-scary road.

Then we both saw something shocking.

A car was racing uncontrollably towards us.

I think my daughter screamed but if so I might not of heard it because my whole focus was on avoiding a head-on collision.

The approaching car swerved, went off the road, through a ditch, through a front yard and was quickly stopped by a large tree.

Our eyes were wider than ever, trying to take in what just happened. Mind and heart racing, I finally realized we were untouched.

I pulled over again and decided I needed to go back and check. I didn't carry a cellphone back then. When I approached the car I was surprised not to see any passengers. They all had taken off.

I went up to a nearby house and got the attention of homeowner. We pieced the puzzle together - mostly likely underage drinkers who survived the crash but probably didn't want to stick around for the police report. We left.

When we finally reached the interstate and a restaurant we learned that storm carried a tornado along too.  Enough near misses for me.

Nature can be both beautiful and scary in the woods.

about fragment time

Mrs. 4444's Friday Fragment postings started before I joined in. But after writing a few, I latched on to it like a terrier does with a rag doll. Oh wait, that makes me sound like a little dog.  How about a duck taking to the water?  I should just avoid these animals.  I'm a blogger and the FF post is a fun and easy post to write (the image of the terrier shaking that rag doll still seems more exciting).  You should give it a try if you have not yet.

Mrs. 4444 (the FF blog host who started collecting these posts) has been counting her FF postings.  That doesn't surprise me with a moniker like 4444.  Her count is approaching 300 and she is offering a contest to celebrate (more about it at this link).

maybe I could try a tiger analogy

When I feel adventurous I ignore the warning and insert the Q-tip into my ear canal for a good cleaning. BTW, why is it called a canal? 
canal - noun: a long narrow place that is filled with water and was created by people so that boats could pass through it

I’ll assume you have heard of those ancient astronomical sites. Maybe you have even visited one or two of them. I have one here at home. Except the house is not really ancient (somedays I wonder).

Astronomy and my garage door -  Just like Stonehenge or some Inca temple my garage door’s position has a special alignment with the sun’s position twice a year. I should record the dates and have a celebration but before I get carried away I need to tell you a little story about it.

Ok, so this sun alignment messes up the door’s infrared safety beam on particular afternoons. Last Saturday was one such alignment day. Actually we were heading off to a celebration. She-who-knows and her mom had already pulled out of the driveway and were waiting on me in the car. I pushed the outside button and the door immediately did its halt and reverse safety move. Having worshiped the technology of the opener system, I knew the source of the problem.

Oh one more bit of background. As many of you know all too well we have had cold dark winter that is not easily giving up its grip.

Quickly, I need to find an object to block the sun rays and close the door. As I try to think of what to grab, I realize the two ladies waiting in the car will be losing their patience.

I turn and take a few steps toward the waiting car and notice the windows are rolled up. With my best booming voice I yell “it’s the sun, the sun” while I thrust my finger at the bright afternoon sun. Just as I turn back to solve my personal solstice problem I spot the young neighbor woman across the street. With strange look, she muttered something but I’m not sure what.

I’m sure she was wondering why the old fool across the street was pointing and shouting “it’s the sun” like the little guy yelled “the plane, the plane” in the TV show, Fantasy Island. She probably chalked it up to a severe case of cabin fever.

Now that was one of my longer fragments but that's the great thing of the FF post - very few rules. Well, my train of thought has left the station. I'll leave you with this funny and potentially useful youtube clip.

need directions

Going nowhere? Then you don’t need directions. The world is too interesting not to know some geography. Also I know my future lies beyond the yellow brick road. I have the knack for getting from A to B (even B to A) but trying to communicate those details to a another traveler comes with difficulty.

Just pass the big clown on corner, you’ll come to an idiot in the middle with nonstop turn blinkers on. Ignore him. Check your gas gauge because you have about another 100 miles to go and you’ll be passing gas. I mean passing the last gas station. Oh don’t use the restroom there. It’s so bad you may never breathe right again.

Now remember that big oak you saw by the clown? Don’t worry, you do know oak from evergreen right? Three evergreens and an oak tree later you fork. I mean a split in the road. Stay right. Well if you miss it and go left don't worry. You will still get there if you have good shocks and no dentures. 

Now you got gas and the right fork. Correct? Ok, don’t worry about speeding until you blow by big curve warning sign. Slow down because the oncoming traffic likes to ride the center line. If you survive the big curve and you have not been pulled over by Officer Obie you’ll probably make it.  If you are arrested have Obie call me, I haven't talked him in awhile.

Eventually you reach a cemetery (most of us do) and if there’s no funeral going on, take a shortcut through the cemetery. The buried dead are laid out to the horizons but the place is easy to get through, just stay on the straight and narrow. It’s scenic and saves you about 10 miles. If you get the strange feeling your own funeral is going on, then why are you being buried in that cemetery? I didn’t think you were from around these parts.  Snap out it.

Assuming you made it out of the cemetery before dark. Did I mention they close the gates at dusk? Take a right at the road. There is almost always a deep rut on the corner so don’t cut corners there.

Just about a mile or two (maybe 3, my odometer been stuck since 60) you will come upon a big glowing neon pig. Great BBQ. But if you are coming for dinner don’t stop unless you are buying for everyone. If so, I’ll take the pulled pork with extra hot sauce. Be sure to grab plenty of napkins.

OK, just pass the BBQ place after the road drops quickly is a dirt road on the left. Don’t worry just go pass that one. Take the second dirt road on left.  If the road sign is not knocked over (most of the year it is down) you'll notice you are at the corner of Lightning and Thunder.  Thunder is not a bad road when it's dry. Often there are dead armadillos at the corner. Watch out for deer and flooding (if rained of course).

If you happen upon the mail carrier (pink pickup truck can’t miss it) going down that dirt road, you will not be able to pass him being that it’s a one lane road that drops off to a raging river on one side. If he is coming toward you, then he will expect you to backup since he is on official business. No one else uses the road except the teenage drinkers/stoners late at night. So get there before dark but not during mail delivery time.

You will find us at the end of the road assuming you don’t get stuck in the mud.  No doorbell to ring.  We will hear the junkyard dog up the road barking before you reach our property.  Wait for me to come out.  I would not want you getting accidentally shot.  I’ll leave the light on until midnight after that go get a room somewhere and call me in the morning after 10.

you can get lost on youtube

Believe me, I seldom tell people to get lost. However, if you have the time then go get lost on youtube. Come back here and tell me how it was.

Mine eyes have seen the youtube.

old white rocker

Confused? Of course you are. After all you are reading Lisleman’s blog. Stick around I’ll try my best to leave you that way.


Historians will look back (they better because history is in that direction) and view youtube as a social turning point for mankind. One small clip by a kid, one giant viral video on youtube. Really any site that allows me to share my garbage clips with the world is a fine place.

I stumbled on this clip of Arlo Guthrie singing "Amazing Grace" with Pete Seeger (RIP).  The fun part of this clip was not song but the stories Arlo tells.  I plan to retell his rabbit story.  ENJOY

mind if I tweet while I listen in

Been here before? If so, then you might recall I'm still a hold-out regarding smartphones. I do text a little with my flip phone but would rather just talk in most situations. I offer this background, to justify not being on twitter. Has our society reached the point where not being on twitter is something that needs to be justified? I don't think so, but tweets are very common.

no pockets no phone

I believe the following is a true story. I found it on the internet after all.

So this New York comedian guy happens to up on his apartment roof. I've only been in New York for less than 24 hours total so I assume hanging out on your apartment roof in NYC is as common as twitter.

While he up there (remember that 60's hit "Up On The Roof"? "... I go up where the air is fresh and sweet ...") he notices this couple (of course this NYC so they don't know each even though I assume they live in the same building) having a breakup. So he listens in and tweets the play-by-play.

You can find the tweets over on this page.  The whole thing is funny for everyone but the two who are breaking-up.

I got a good laugh from reading it.  Here's just three of the 48 tweets:

“I’m not looking for marriage, just what’s right below marriage” -girl  

(many tweets later)

“Look I’m not a guy who’s into labels, Rachel. You know that getting in.” -guy 

(a few tweets later)

“Are we getting pizza or what? I don’t mean to change the subject but are we?” - guy

I'm no relationship counselor but I suspect that guy is more interested in a good pizza than a good relationship.  Also if stuff like this keeps getting tweeted I might just join.

diving deep in the dryer

Just when you least expect it - the dryer goes out.

Honestly how many times have you expected/anticipated an appliance would break? Do you really think about your appliances that much? I hope not. C’mon wondering about Miley Cyrus's next dance craze might be more productive than pondering when your dishwasher will seize up. (actually now I'm wondering if Miley has ever operated a dishwasher)

Thus the dryer (fill in any appliance or car part) will break when you least expect it. I’m not suggesting a little preventative maintenance is a waste of time. Tires looking worn? Get them replaced before this happens to you:

blow-outs always come when you least expect it

But what preventative maintenance can you do for your dryer? We have cleaned the vent occasionally.

We had a bit of trouble with this not-very-old dryer before. It’s like the dryer is entering its terrible twos phase. Months ago, it didn’t want to heat. I found a thermal cut-off sensor that tested bad. I just searched my blog a bit and I guess I didn’t post about that fix. Lucky you.

the beat of a different drum

The dryer would barely start running before it shut down. If you leaned close to it, you could smell a hint of burnt rubber. (a new life as a bad air freshener?)

I figured that taking it apart couldn’t hurt (actually I did cut myself on the sharp metal edges inside) so I unplugged it and opened my tool box.

dryer guts

During that last repair job I learned that youtube is an excellent resource for home repairs (warning Miley Cyrus is also up there). Do you know what tool to use for getting the top/lid up? If you watch this youtube clip you’ll learn to grab a putty knife for that.

The motor was making an odd clicking noise even when you turned it slowing by hand (oh I did mention that the power plug was pulled). I also had noticed a small spring lying on the bottom panel. That seemed odd. Looking inside the motor as it turned, I solved the mystery. I found the smoking gun (always liked that expression but seldom get to use it. Maybe I shouldn’t have this time either?). The small spring came from inside the motor. It had broken loose and as springs do when they get the chance, sprang for it.

the usual suspect - a recognizable motor

I bought a replacement spring for 89 cents, secured it inside the motor. Then I started the hard part of reassembling the whole thing (much easier to take apart). It the process I cut my hand twice and then remembered a pair of work gloves I had. Tip - get the work gloves out with your tools. 89 cents and a bit of blood - not bad.

the guilty spring that almost escaped

Friday Fragment Labor

In case you’ve been too frazzled to look at a calendar, note that we are upon Labor Day weekend here in the US. Not sure if any other countries celebrate with us. A smart way to celebrate labor is to take a break from labor, relax, lighten-up. Following that thought today, I’m including a fragment from my past labor. Followers might be able to spot which one it is. Don’t labor too hard on it. It’s Labor Day, lighten-up.

Mrs. 4444’s blog has the FF collection so please check it out.

A little sponsorship would really be nice at A Few Clowns Short. Hey potential sponsor, for the cost of a typical marketing business lunch your company could sponsor months worth of high quality blog posting here at A Few Clowns Short.

A beverage company sponsorship would be ideal. For example: Deer Tick Beer (the beer that digs into you) would be offered a deal that includes a modified small banner ad picture.

While down in the basement man cave, I hear my wife calling (note work on soundproofing) to alert me about something the neighbor had discovered in our downspout. What? I step out into the back yard to hear the bird-stuck-in-your-drain tale. As I’m being told the story, I restrain myself from asking why the neighbor is listening to our downspout. “What are you a weirdo downspout listener?” I want to ask but don’t.

At first I figured it must be a chipmunk but in fact it was a bird. I tried a few different ideas to evacuate him but my bird negotiation knowledge is severely lacking. The sun would set in 30 minutes and the area was very muddy so after those failed attempts I did what I do best - procrastinate and think it over for awhile.

Our daughter had an outside-of-the-box-thinking idea. Her suggestion which I tried was to place a light in the downspout to scare the bird to go out the other end. Sure it was an outside-of-the-box idea but it wasn’t a bird goes out of the drain one. I think the bird enjoyed a night light.

The next morning I disconnected the downspout and drain pipe. I even stepped back and waited. Nothing but a little scratching around. I got a long stick and thought maybe I could push him out. No, but I was able to clean some debris from the pipe. I could see him and he was larger than I expected. I held the pipe down level and just waited. About a minute or so he jumped out. One jump and he was in the air. I don't think he even touched the ground first. Flew to a nearby tree and was gone. Freebird!

these birds are shot at targets which makes them angry

Often we offer up our comments and never get any feedback on them. But over at A Few Clowns Short you'll typically get some feedback. It might not be worth a damn but it's feedback anyway.

Oh the comment section is a fun place. I once replied, “The only Playboy bunnies I ever met were paper.”

As we age we go from tripping out to tripping over. Who moved that chair!

kitchen crisis

Hot Jupiter, what a bacon busting day!

The microwave died. At first we (wife was punching the buttons at the time) thought the circuit breaker flipped. I scrambled down to the breaker box and found all breakers looked ok. Time for crisis management. Do you agree the microwave is the top appliance in a kitchen? I would be cruising crackers with my only hope being a cold sandwich without the microwave. Oh, the hunger pain from the many leftovers dying a slow death in the fridge.

A quick switching around of different small appliances into the socket used by the microwave determined that the microwave had loss the power to run. The will to heat. Just a blank dark space where the inaccurate time had just moments ago beamed for all to see.

not our old microwave

I sensed my wife didn’t share my sorrow. I might have heard her say something about more counter space. Not the time to discuss counter arrangements. There are leftovers waiting nearby. Our microwave is old and rules one corner of the counter with its electric energy.

Have you had the experience of traveling to a hotel equipped with a microwave or maybe a relative’s home and then were forced to use unfamiliar controls to just heat your morning buns? Oh the thought of learning the nuances of another control panel was frightening.

Mark Twain would have loved a microwave

After operating our faithful microwave for years I had learned that quickly punching the one minute button twice would produce two minutes and I didn’t even need to punch start. I could get a two minute heating session initiated with just two button pushes.

I quickly descended into my workspace with the old microwave. I have never named things like cars or appliances so I can only write old microwave. I took a screwdriver to it. After flipping it around I managed to remove the cover. Inside the cover was its electrical schematic (a design birth certificate with symbols). I followed the circuit and discovered a fuse. The fuse tested open (bad).

Next it was off to a nearby appliance parts store. This was a high amp fuse so I didn’t bother looking for it at a hardware store. I returned with a fuse transplant and hand inserted it. Screwed on the cover and gave it a quick test of warming about half a cup of water. It powered up and heated the water. Success! But I needed to perform a comprehensive test.

The old microwave has rewarded us with many a hot bag of popcorn. Popcorn is a microwave delight. I decided to do the popcorn test. Could it still power through a popcorn bag bake? It did.

However there was a problem. Mostly burnt popcorn while using the preset popcorn button. There had been the rare burnt popcorn bag in the past so I thought maybe it was just a bad bag. After thinking about running another popcorn test I realized something more than a new fuse was different during that first test. The glass plate that slowing turns the food had been taken out so that I could flip the box around to disassemble it.

Could the plate be the difference between hot vs. burnt popcorn? Another popcorn test was set-up and run. Total success! I have a theory to explain the need for the special glass plate but its technical and only a theory. More importantly the kitchen crisis was over in a matter of a few hours, a new fuse and two bags of popcorn.

light my fire

Passions
Warm glows
Playing with fire

Fire shows up often in lyrics. Remember the line "...We're living in a powder keg giving off sparks..."? Fire, explosions, we do get emotional. Even "smoke gets in your eyes" can give meaning to a song.

Past posts here have referenced Chicago Tribune columnist, Mary Schmich before. I quoted her words on life's stages in this recent post. Today she wrote about the passing of a member of the Doors, Ray Manzarek. She has the ability to describe the common feelings of events like this.

She wrote in today's column:

"At a certain point in life, every time a public figure dies, you feel the pinch of your own mortality. It's not the same as sadness, though you may feel sad.

The pinch is simply the recognition that all of us belong to a cultural moment, and famous people are the most visible representatives of our moment. When those people transit into the next orbit, they take a piece of our times and us with them. Their departure is a forecast of our own voyage out."

Like others the name, Jim Morrison, pops up in my head when the Doors music is played. Ray, I learned, was inspired by Bach in creating the very recognizable organ intro of the song.  Playing the song takes me back to a summer in the sixties.  Old songs have a way of giving me an eclipse of the mind.
 

flippy floppy fuzzy friday fragments flow fast

I wonder if Mrs. 4444 favors the “f” sound in words over other sounds. As bloggers weave a wide wonderful wacky world on the web I find my ears listening for a wobbling “w”. Elmer’s wacky wabbit expressions wrecked my wrain. I had more fun with Donald Duck sounds but those have the flying spit problem.  I like to keep a clean screen.

Even though blogs can offer sounds, most focus on words so on with the words and the fragments they make.

Oh it’s a slippery salsa slope I find myself on. It’s not just for tacos anymore. Hot salsa on Mother’s Day leftover breakfast casserole makes a Monday morning tasty. This could be the start of a salsa habit.

%%==creme tangerine==%%

Rubber cement (invented in Chicago) produces a strong, yet flexible bond. Relationships that stick like rubber cement are not easy to achieve.

%%==cool cherry creme==%%

So often we think of ideas to say after slamming down the telemarketer call. One time I started talking to the young lady on the other end and asked her why she want to work in a job that annoyed people. I suggested that she change jobs. It was a fun talk.

My brother did one better. Years ago ( prebirth for some of you) when aluminum siding was growing in popularity he had a very persistent sales call. “Ok fine if you insist come on out to the house.” So the sales guy drove out my brother's house (back then its location was more rural) . The salesman was shocked when he stepped out his car. "You have a brick house!" "Yes, I would have told you that but you didn't let me explain why I was not interested." my brother smirked.

%%==nice apple tart==%%

“It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.” Remember the movie that line comes from?

%%==ginger sling with a pineapple heart==%%

Today’s fragment separators have been brought to you by the Beatles’ Savoy Truffle. The other night I was youtube surfing old Beatles songs. I posted/shared one to FB adding these words to my post (guess the song):

All the Facebook people
Where do they all come from?
All the Facebook people
Where do they all belong?

Warning: the following youtube clip may ruin your diet plan!

free nightmare for the taking

While I figure out how to write up my colonoscopy story I'm going to repost a nightmare for you. If I were to recreate the following nightmare today I would probably add in a colonoscopy part. Overall it went well, I'm just lacking the right descriptive words for it. Back in 2010 I had this post idea. Take a list of things you don’t like then use them to describe a nightmare.
 
Nightmares are storylines of some great movies.

Here’s a lists of a few of my dislikes:

• tuna fish
• leaf blowers
• losing a credit card or ID card
• missing a flight
• not being able to stop something I’m driving

You might have trouble limiting the list since we all dislike so many things.  Having trouble with your list?  Start with a sharp stick in the eye. Nobody likes those.

The great thing about creating a nightmare is the randomness it allows you. So using the above items here I go. Sorry you can’t close your eyes because you need to read along but imagine me with my eyes closed deep in REM sleep.

Packing, running back and forth between rooms and closets trying to decide what I need for my big trip. Racing the nightstand clock.

It’s hard to imagine. I have never dreamed of being invited to the White House. Mind is racing thinking about how excitingly big this is as I layout my wallet, tickets and invitation letter.

Loud droning noise increasing in volume. It’s coming from just outside my window. A goon is in our tree blowing leaves off the branches.

I lean out the window to yell, I’m falling.

The sound is gone. I’m on my feet. I can move. I join my wife arranging the suitcases into the car trunk.

We are rushing to the airport. Circling the parking lot levels looking, looking, circling. No where to park. What’s that noise? Another leaf blower cleaning off a whole closed-off section of the lot. Damn.

Security lines. Large clock hanging from the ceiling, ticking. Crowded concourse that continues forever. Reach the gate. Flight has departed. We need to pay the gate clerk to change our flight. I can’t find my credit card. I search through my wallet emptying the insurance, library, driver’s license, Starbucks card. No credit card.

We are hungry. But have no credit card and little cash. Enough cash for the vending machine. I turn and am standing in front of a large vending machine. Cans and cans of tuna fish. Nothing but tuna fish. My stomach turns.

I commandeer the airport handicap transport golf cart type thing. The crowd splits in front us as I cruise down the concourse.

Now I’m on the tarmac heading for a plane. Wind blowing. Smell of jet fuel.

I scream. I smash the brake down. Blue smoke blows out from the wheels. Jet engine roars into view. Sounds like a supercharged leaf blower. We don’t stop. My neck muscles tighten.

The sun light slams into my eyes. I look up. A concerned flight attendant shakes me and asks if I’m OK. Do I need anything. I look at my wife seated next to me.

“Did I fall asleep during the pre-flight again.”
“Yes you did.” she says with disgust.
“Hey what did you bring to eat?”
“Tuna fish, want a bite?”

gather around I’ll tell you a story

Comfortable?

No, I don’t want you comfortable you’ll likely fall asleep. Try this idea, let’s pretend Brad Pitt is telling this like he did in that Chanel #5 commercial. Or if you’re not persuaded by Brad, try Natalie Tran, an Aussie youtube wonder. Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about - good. Check Lilly’s blog for details.

A little blogging story -

Blogging is fun - sharing - exploring - and you don't even need all that clown makeup or a shave. I've had so much fun that I've created a few more blogs. It gets hard to water all the blogs in the house so those other ones are very secondary. Dark alleys ghost towns of little feedback.

I’ve been scratching and blogging for many years now. I don’t know how I could get on without either. Sure a good lotion probably would solve the first habit. But blogging? I've discovered many interesting people from around the world and learned a thing or two about something or other (like how to be vague).

I didn’t know what to expect from blogging. Blogging is full of surprises like the movie, Forrest Gump. And like Forrest, some bloggers just stop in the middle of the road and quit. I’m not ready to quit but I thought Lilly did back in 2010 (more info here if you like).

Still awake? Good, you might have noticed I’ve mentioned Lilly twice. Two reasons for that:

1- She writes a great blog and has inspired me with ideas in the past.
2- I won a giveaway she offered recently. I received the latest CD by Margo Rey. see Margo's website

Margo's pic with the album

So thanks Lilly and thanks readers because without you my blogging would be too much like my scratching.





another circus