Lois Lane #65 - The Musical Murder of Superman.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

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What was the first American super-hero comic you ever read?

For me, it's always been unclear as to whether it was Amazing Spider-Man Annual #6 or a coverless Superman comic featuring Lois Lane and a piano. The latter having been obtained from a jumble sale at my local community centre.

Because of it being coverless, just what that Superman comic was has always been a mystery to me and many years have I spent trying to track it down.

But now I've triumphed and can announce it was Lois Lane #65 The Musical Murder of Superman from way back in 1966.

Before anyone panics, I should point out that, despite its title, Superman's not murdered at any point in the story - not even slightly.

However, that doesn't matter because, as the cover reveals, it's an imaginary tale.

This is, of course, in contrast to all those true Superman tales we've read, over the years.

In it, thanks to being zapped by a statuette, Lois becomes temporarily evil and teams up with Metropolis super-criminal Lexo, to become the nefarious Lola.

What the world doesn't know is Lexo is, in reality, also acclaimed humanitarian pianist Luthor.

Now, Lois and Luthor get married and go on a crime spree together which ultimately leads to them paralysing Superman with a symphony Luthor's composed specially for the task.

With Superman out of the way, nothing can stop them! Nothing!

Unfortunately, that's when Lois' evil wears off and when Luthor's conscience gets the better of him.

You see, before he met Lois, he'd only stolen things so he could raise money for local charities. It was the bad influence of Lois that had sent him down the path of thieving for profit.

Suitably overwhelmed with guilt at their actions, the pair revive Superman from his paralysis and, still unaware that Luthor is Lexo, Superman arrests Lois, whereupon she's sentenced to ten years hard labour for her crimes. You have to hand it to the Metropolis criminal justice system, when it comes to punishment, it doesn't mess about.

Luthor, of course, cannot stand to see his beloved Lois in prison and launches an audacious raid to rescue her, only to quickly be shot dead by a guard.

Lois convinces the courts she wasn't responsible for her crimes - that it was the statuette that had made her do bad things - and she's released but, as the story concludes, it's made clear to us - and Superman - that she'll never, ever, get over her love for Luthor.

What a tragic little story, and I have to say it's genuinely touching to see the love between Lois and Luthor, one that means they're willing to sacrifice everything for each other. To be honest, it's a much more appealing romance than her relationship with Superman's ever been.

That aside, like all Superman-related stories from this era, it's completely daft but charming and its big selling point - apart from Luthor and Lois' marriage - is the art of Kurt Schaffenberger which is as consistently likeable as always.

Schaffenberger does seem to be one of those artists who get habitually ignored but he had a lovely style, a way with emotions and an obvious wit, and I can't remember him ever turning in an art job that wasn't completely impeccable.

The script's by Jerry Siegel, lending the tale a pleasing tie to the characters' very beginnings.

So, there you go; my twin introductions to American super-heroics were Amazing Spider-Man Annual #6 and Lois Lane #65 and, to be frank, there could be worse ways to first encounter the full colour derring-doings of colour-packed derring-doers.

And how appropriate that those two books should introduce me to the two heroes who are totemic of America's two biggest comic publishers. It's almost as though Fate itself was somehow guiding events...

Superman #276, Make Way For Captain Thunder!

It's the question we've all asked; "Who'd win a fight between Superman and Captain Marvel?"

Admittedly, I never actually have. After all, the answer's blatantly obvious. How's Captain Marvel supposed to beat Superman when he's got Rick Jones griping in his ear and singing all the time?

But, of course, there was another Captain Marvel, one who never dared speak his name, for fear of the solicitors getting involved and, in 1974, he got to meet his old nemesis from the 1950s law courts, the Man of Steel.

Except he didn't, because the foe Superman tangles with in his 276th issue bears absolutely no resemblance at all to the original Captain Marvel. Seriously, no one could possibly confuse the red and white clad Captain Thunder and his youthful alter-ego Willie Fawcett with Captain Marvel and Billy Batson.

It all begins with Willie appearing, from nowhere, in a Metropolis street, just in time to see Superman flying overhead on his way to dealing with some threat or other.

This is all very odd, as Willie's never heard of Superman before, even though everyone else seems to recognise him.

Then, while Superman's dealing with an imaginary monster conjured up to distract him while a gang of criminals rob an armoured truck, Willie decides Captain Thunder had better tackle the gang. He rubs his belt buckle, says the magic word, "THUNDER," and, in his super-heroic guise, sets off to sort out the miscreants.

There's only one problem. No sooner has he transformed into the captain than he's stricken with an irresistible urge to help the wrongdoers!

Needless to say, this quickly brings him into conflict with Superman, in a fight which only ends when Thunder gives Supes the slip by changing back into Willie.

Willie goes to see Clark Kent because he's told the reporter's a friend of Superman.

He tells Clark how he first became Captain Thunder and of how his last battle was with a gang of villains comprising Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster and the Mummy.

As he left the defeated fiends in a cage he'd created for them, they shouted a mysterious threat at him, one he only now understands as meaning they'd found a way to send him to the wrong dimension and turn Captain Thunder evil.

Together, boy and reporter set off to solve the mystery of just how he got here and how to get him back home.

But, before they can even start, yet another crime breaks out and Willie once more transforms himself into Captain Thunder, causing the resumption of his fight with Superman.

This time, the Kryptonian clobberer manages to hold on to Thunder for long enough for the out-of-sorts hero to figure out how to get back home and cure his malfeasance. With one more rub of his belt, Thunder's gone and that's that problem sorted.

So, is this the epic, no-holds barred lurch into action, destruction and chaos that Nick Cardy's cover leads us to expect?

No. Of course it isn't. It's a 1970s Superman comic. That means reading it's like putting on a comfy pair of slippers and eating some chocolate biscuits. No one is, at any point, in any peril. Despite using their most powerful blows, the two heroes totally fail to hurt each other and everything's wrapped up simply and straightforwardly with a total lack of animosity.

This makes it sound like a bad thing.

And it kind of is.

And it kind of isn't.

Like all Superman tales of this era, it's appealing because Curt Swan draws it with a charm and lightness of touch few artists could match.

In fact, the main enjoyment comes not from the somewhat low-key clash between crime fighters but from spotting all the changes writer Elliot S! Maggin makes to the character of Captain Marvel, especially the retelling of his origin, this time involving a helpful owl, a cave and an elderly native American

Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing ultimately depends on your tolerance for storytelling that lacks any desire to be dramatic.

As I've said in the past, I must have a massive tolerance for the dramatically unambitious because, as a youth, I probably had more Superman comics than books starring any other costumed American hero, and something must have been making me come back for more.

The puzzling world of Superman #271.

I have a suspicion this post's going to elicit fewer responses than any other in this site's history and arouse even less interest than that - because I'm going to try and use it to solve a mystery that's haunted me for over forty years.

And that's, "What on Earth is Brainiac on about in issue #271 of Superman?"

His plan is simple enough. In an attempt to send our hero mad, he's decided to destroy Metropolis.

Needless to say, thanks to Brainiac being incredibly stupid for a man with a super-computer for a brain, Supes soon foils his scheme and sends him flying off into space, on an outward journey from which the man of steel claims he'll never return.

Somehow, I can't help feeling the Kryptonian clobberer is being a little optimistic in that assessment.

However, there's a bigger mystery at work than just why our hero's so complacent in the face of evil.

For some reason, all the way through the tale, Brainiac insists on referring to Superman by a string of extremely odd nicknames that, on the face of it, make no sense.

However, one of those nicknames appears to refer to the county of Kent in jolly old England. This suggests the nicknames are references to Superman's other identity of Clark Kent and that they may therefore be Brainiac's way of letting his opponent know that he knows his secret identity.

Superman seems totally unfazed by this, either failing to recognise the significance of the nicknames or being already aware that Brainiac knows his secret identity and not caring about it. You see? There he is, being complacent in the presence of evil again.

Anyway, in my quest to finally discover just what Brainiac's nicknames mean, I thought I'd list the aliases he uses for Superman in this issue and see if anyone knows who or what they refer to.

And here they are:

"Old red-and-blue." (this may just be a description of his costume but I'm not sure)

"Old cigarette smoke."

"Old father of modern gardening."

"Old county in southeast England." (presumably Kent)

"Old Ohio college town."

"Old Paleolithic cavern."

"Old star of stage and screen."

"Old canvas painter."

"Old British duke."

"Old 19th Century jurist."

"Old writer of science fiction." (possibly Arthur C Clarke?)

As you can see, I've already performed veritable miracles by coming up with possible explanations for three of them but do you have any ideas for who or what the other nicknames might be referencing?

Don't forget, a free Steve Does Comics No-Prize goes to anyone who can come up with any likely answers.

World's Finest #218, Capricorn gets Batman and Superman's goat.

There are some extremely unlikely combinations in this life.

And I can't think of any of them.

Fortunately, I don't have to because one of the most unlikely of them is staring me straight in the face right now.

And that's Superman and Batman.

Given that one of them has all the super-powers in the world and the other doesn't have any, it always seemed a bit odd to me that they'd bother to team up.

Just what would Superman gain from teaming up with DC's equivalent of Daredevil?

And just what help would Batman think he'd be to the world's most omnipotent man? Basically, he'd be there just to stand around saying, "Ooh yes, you're doing very well, Superman."

I only ever got one chance to discover the answer to this question when I was a youth.

And that's because I only ever had one issue of World's Finest.

That issue was issue #218 and it made it clear to me in just thirteen pages what that answer was.

The answer is that they team up because they're useless.

It all kicks off when Batman discovers a mystery extortionist called Capricorn is on the loose in Gotham City. He's blackmailing Commissioner Gordon. He's blackmailing the mayor. He even ends up trying to blackmail Bruce Wayne.

As it turns out, he's not much of an extortionist because he's demanding nothing from them. He just seems to want them to know that he knows what they know.

This lack of actual criminality doesn't stop Batman being determined to bring him to justice.

And so it is that, for no noticeable reason that I can see, he calls in Superman who seems to have nothing better to do with his time than chase around after people who've not actually broken the law.

Then again, as far as Batman's concerned, the law seems to be whatever Batman says it is. As he and Superman break into the house of their only suspect, a man called Fabio, Bats makes it clear he can break into houses whenever he deems fit to, as long as the suspect has a criminal record and Batman wants to get into his house. When Fabio tries to defend himself from such literally unwarranted intrusion, Batman gives him a punch in the face and arrests him for trying to prevent intruders getting in.

Needless to say, it turns out Fabio isn't the wrongdoer (even though Capricorn's not, at this point, legally a wrongdoer either) and they've invaded completely the wrong house and smacked a man in the jaw for nothing. And now, thanks to that, they're starting to look a bit stupid in front of everyone.

It's at this point that Capricorn finally decides to commit a crime and kills Fabio, in order to make our heroes look even stupider.

You can't help feeling sorry for Fabio. There he is, minding his own business when, suddenly, Batman and Superman are blowing up his house and someone he's never met is out to kill him.

Suitably buttressed by this dramatic turn of events, Batman and Superman fling themselves into the hunt with renewed vigour.

And get absolutely nowhere with it.

They end up finding him entirely by accident, as Bruce Wayne inadvertently bumps into him in a health shop and eventually works out that the man who looks like a goat and buys goats' milk and then sends him a letter to let him know who he is, might be Capricorn.

Having now found his house, they swoop, only for him to escape with no difficulty at all by hiding in a water main whose lead walls Superman's X-Ray vision can't penetrate.

Thus, Batman and Superman's latest case ends in total failure.

I can honestly say that I could conduct a criminal investigation more effectively than this pair of wallies.

Do they fingerprint the blackmail letters?

No they don't.

Do they try to find out where the letters were posted?

No they don't.

When Capricorn escapes them, do they check out his known contacts?

No they don't.

Do they look into his history for any possible clues to his whereabouts?

No they don't.

Knowing he has an illness, do they check his medical records?

No they don't.

Do they arrange for, "Wanted," posters to be printed?

No they don't.

They just give up on it all and literally sit there feeling sorry for themselves.

And don't even get me started on the fact that the pair of them happily turn a blind eye to the various criminal misdemeanours they now know have been committed by various members of the Gotham City elite.

So there you have it. Basically, if you're having trouble with criminals, don't call in Batman and Superman. You'd be better off investigating it yourself.

In fact, you'd be better off calling me in. I've seen Father Dowling. I know how these things are done. All I need do is find a nun who's a mistress of disguise, expert lock picker, safe cracker, pick pocket, poker player, pole dancer and cocktail maker - and talks like Flo Steinberg (always bring it back to comics) - and I've got it cracked.

Still, on the upside, the adventure was drawn by Dick Dillin and Dave Cockrum, so at least our heroes look better while failing than I would.

I'm sorry but how on Earth can that possibly be Alfred in disguise?

Superman comics I have owned. Part Three: The Miscellaneous Years.

At last the world can rejoice, as I reach the pulse-pounding climax of my latest feature where I ramble on cluelessly about the Superman comics I had as a child.

We've already had a look at Superman's own mag and Action Comics - but what about all those other comics I had that starred the Big Blue Cheese?

Superman gets his own 100 page spectacular, in possibly the hardest to find comic on the entire Grand Comics Database. Seriously, try to find it. See how long it takes you.

As for the comic, it's one of my faves, as we see Superman help America win The War, not by smashing up the Nazis but by typing fast and fixing an engine. Hitler must have been wetting himself.

Meanwhile, we also meet TNT - who fights crooks by throwing a child at them till he explodes - and The Golden Age Atom who's in the habit of using his observatory to look in through women's windows.

Highlight of the comic is of course the epic tale of Superman Red and Superman Blue.

You can read my review of this magnificently insane comic right here.

Straight after Jimmy Olsen's mag folded, DC launched Superman Family which, logically, started with issue #164.

None of the stories are masterpieces but we do do get to see Jim Mooney's Supergirl fight Brainiac.

You can read my review of this comic right here.

It was the battle that had to happen!

Well, it wasn't really, as it made no sense at all for Marvel and DC's top heroes to meet each other.

Inevitably, Spider-Man got overshadowed by his partner.

More annoyingly, so did Doc Ock who was treated as little more than a dim-witted flunky to Lex Luthor.

You can read my review of this epic right here.

Jimmy Olsen finds himself in a castle full of harpies and sets out to sort them out without Superman's aid.

Needless to say, the self-declared, "Mr Action," ends up needing Superman's aid.

You can read my review of this issue right here.

I don't remember too much about this one. I'm pretty sure Jimmy finds himself in the court of Kublai Khan who thinks Jimmy's Marco Polo or something. There may have been a rhino involved. There might not have been.

This was the last issue of Jimmy Olsen before it transmogrified into the aforementioned Superman Family.

To be honest, I didn't own any issues of Lois Lane.

But my sister did - and that's good enough for me.

Although, the truth is I don't remember too much about them and found the Rose and the Thorn back-up strips far more compelling. This may have been purely because the Thorn wore thigh-length leather boots and Lois Lane didn't.

I think this is the issue where I discovered that Superman shaves by deflecting his super-heat vision off a mirror and back at his own face. I have shaved by using the same method ever since.

I recall nothing of what happens within but who could forget the sight of Superman turning into a tree?

Nice to see Lois on the cover thinking only of herself and not of the actual victim of the catastrophe.

My main memory of this is the tale where a pink monster falls in love with Lois.

Wait till it sees how she reacts when it starts to turn into a tree. Then it'll see the error of its ways. Thigh-length boots! It needs a woman with thigh-length boots!

I seem to remember a  Supergirl story with the same premise as this one. I wonder if it was the same monster?

After all those years, Wonder Woman and Superman finally show some sense and get round to doing some super-canoodling with each other.

Sadly, it all turns out to be a trick to snare some villains.

This is the Tomb of the Unknown Superman.

I'm pretty sure the first Superman comic I ever owned was one I got from a jumble sale at my local community centre. It had no cover and all I can recall of it is that, at one point, Lois Lane hides in a piano. It was also the comic where I first encountered the word, "Invulnerable."

At the same jumble sale, I stuck my hand in a sawdust filled Lucky Dip and came out of it with an Ancient Briton style plastic brooch. I'm sure Tony Robinson's Time Team are green with envy.

But, Reader, if you know what that comic was, please let me know.

Batman and Superman team up to deal with would-be arch-criminal Capricorn, who ultimately escapes them by hiding in the sewers. Because they're made of lead, Superman can't spot him down there.

You'd have thought it might occur to him to think, "I can't see into those sewers, what with them being made of lead. As I can't see Capricorn anywhere else in the city, perhaps I should check inside them."

But it doesn't.

Nor does it occur to Batman either.

Nor the police.

Superman comics I have owned. Part Two: Action Comics.

Hold onto your Kryptonite, pilgrims, because the sensational new feature that's left the internet dazed, battered and reeling returns as I take a look at yet more of the Superman comics I owned as a boy.

And this time it's Action Comics that's in the spotlight!

To be honest, differences between Action Comics and the main Superman title at the time were not exactly huge, with the same creative teams and characters. Still, Action Comics did distinguish itself by having a back-up story, often featuring the Atom or the Green Arrow and Black Canary.

It was my first exposure to a Neal Adams cover as a powerless Superman finds himself held hostage and in danger of going up in flames.

It was in this comic that I first learned that Superman loses his powers under the light of a red sun.

It was also my first introduction to Supergirl.

And you can read my review of this issue right here.

Clark Kent gives Lois Lane a radioactive necklace from space and, surprise surprise, she's suddenly transformed into a monster.

Has anyone in the world of comics ever been transformed into more things by more things than Lois Lane? You would've thought Clark would've learned his lesson by now.

Maybe it's just me but I must confess I found Lois more attractive as a monster.

When Bluto kidnaps Olive Oyl, Popeye goes to Superman for help

Admittedly they don't actually say the characters are meant to be Popeye, Bluto and Olive Oyl but you'd have to be blind not to spot it.

Some bad guys try to convince Superman his dead parents are disappointed in him, in an attempt to get him to leave the planet Earth.

Needless to say, our hero sees through their ruse and soon turns the tables on them.

My review of this issue can be found right here.

When the Weather Wizard starts causing trouble from his jail cell, the Flash and Superman team up to thwart him.

Despite the cover, no Flashes were harmed during the making of this comic.

Weather Wizards, on the other hand, were not so lucky.

My review of this issue can be found right here.

When a TV chat show host is kidnapped, Superman has to prove he's faster than a speeding bullet to rescue him.

I don't want to come over like an expert but what happens in this issue is clearly impossible even for Superman, as the resolution depends on the sound of a gunshot reaching Superman before the bullet hits its intended victim. As Superman's on the other side of town from the gun, and the intended victim's only a few feet away from it, this clearly couldn't happen.

The Superman Revenge Squad fix it so that if Superman performs ten super-feats, he'll die.

But the hapless aliens haven't counted on the ability of DC comics characters to find exact lookalikes at the drop of a hat.

It's a bit worrying that, at the end of the tale, Superman opts not to apprehend the villains - so they can be murdered by their own colleagues, which seems a little bloodthirsty by his standards.

Superman comics I have owned. Part One: Superman itself.

I believe I've mentioned before the curious contradiction that I always thought I was never that interested in Superman as a child but have since come to realise I had more original American comics featuring him than any other super-hero.

Admittedly this could be because his greater fame meant his comics were easier to find in perfidious Albion than other American comics but, having said that, it's not like anyone forced me to take them from the racks.

In retrospect, I was showing remarkable taste for one so young because, while they might not have been the most knuckle-whitening tales you'd ever encounter, they do have a certain winning charm to them - and pleasing artwork by Curt Swan.

There's really not a lot of point reviewing them individually because, frankly, you could write pretty much the same review for every issue of Superman from the era in question. Therefore I shall post the covers of the ones I had, and try to recall what I can of them.

Someone's causing trouble for Metropolis. But who can it be?

In fact it's Brainiac, who shows his huge intelligence by falling for a trick that makes you wonder if he's quite the genius he keeps telling us he is.

This tale has always slightly baffled me as, all through their fight, Brainiac keeps taunting Superman with strange jibes which I suspect are meant to have a meaning. But the only one I can recall ever understanding is the one where he refers to Superman as being a county in England. I can only assume he means Kent.

Quite what his other jibes in the tale are referring to is anyone's guess.

It's one of my childhood faves.

How could it not be? It's one hundred pages and devoted to magic.

I seem to recall Saturn Girl being involved in the main story and Superman having to have her pet Proty stuck to his face in order to fool Circe, which seems a rather unpleasant fate to some of us.

There's a new hero in town, so who needs Superman anymore?

It turns out Metropolis does, as his rival's powers leave behind a wake of pollution, forcing a light-speed chase through the cosmos for the pair of them.

A scientist creates a device that can destroy the Earth if it's not kept perfectly still at all times - and for some reason Superman actually helps him with it!

I will say that something happens to Superman in this tale that stretches all credulity - not to mention the man of steel - and how he gets up and walks away from it afterwards is beyond me. I mean, I know he's Superman but he's not Mr Fantastic.

Who'd win a fight between Superman and Captain Marvel?

Obviously Superman would but, here, we get the first clash between the two - sort of - as our hero finds himself up against Captain Thunder, hero from another dimension, turned evil and gagging for a fight.

I've not read this for a while but I seem to recall that ever-annoying sportscaster Steve Lombard turns into a diamond monster and decides he's going to give Superman a slap.

I recognise the cover but have no memory at all of the contents.

The Wolf of Wall Street? That title rings a bell from somewhere.

After someone threatens to rumble his secret identity, Superman adopts a new one in a tale that's clearly at least partially inspired by the conspiracy theories about the moon landings.

Steve Does Comics leaps into the 21st Century!

Like Spider-Woman in Avengers #12.1 , Steve Who Does
Comics is surrounded by enemies wherever he goes!

As I roam the streets of Sheffield, people often say to me, "Steve, you're always going on about some old crap or other. You do know it's not still 1978, don't you?"

And I reply, "You half-witted dolt! Of course it's still 1978! Why, if it wasn't, Brian and Michael wouldn't still be Number 1 with their moving tribute to LS Lowry!"

"Get with it, grandad!" they retort. "Brian and Michael haven't been Number 1 for weeks! It's the Bee Gees now, with their latest smash Night Fever! How can you keep up with current trends if you don't even watch Top of the Pops!?!"

To address this very issue, the other day I decided to take advantage of Free Comic Day and scoop up a pile of more modern comics than I'm used to dealing with, from Comixology. To keep it balanced, I chose some titles I was familiar with and some I'd never heard of before. Having not read a new comic since 1996, I shall at last find out what's been happening in the world of panels since those halcyon days of yore.

Avengers Vol 4 #12.1
By Brian Michael Bendis & Bryan Hitch.

Hooray! The Avengers! We all love the Avengers!

On the hunt for aliens, Spider-Woman's been kidnapped by a gang of arch-villains, and the Avengers go to her rescue.

The first thing that struck me about this is every super-hero in the world now seems to be in the Avengers - including Spider-Man and Wolverine, two characters who should surely never be in the Avengers.

It's all very nicely drawn - and beautifully coloured but somewhat bland in both its visual and verbal story-telling, and the sheer overabundance of heroes and villains makes it oddly uninvolving.

Even the return of Ultron, which lends the tale its climax, seems strangely flat when it should feel like the most mind-searingly thrilling thing ever to have happened, ever.

Strange also that none of the bad guys recognise Ultron when they see him.

Batman Black & White: A Black & White World
By Neil Gaiman and Simon Bisley.

A short story that works on the conceit that Batman and the Joker are basically actors playing a part and are chatting to each other whilst waiting to do their scenes.

It's all very pleasant but, as so often with Gaiman, feels suspiciously like it might, deep down, just be punchless whimsy.

Class War #1
by Rob Williams & Trevor Hairsine.

I must admit to being impressed that there're people called Trevor working in the modern industry. I like to think he smokes a pipe as he draws, and wears a cable-knit sweater.

But this is more like it. A government-appointed super-hero discovers just how bad the American government is and decides to turn against it.

I do worry that this comic's aimed at conspiracy theorists and the sort of people who have bunkers in their backyards, full of assault rifles for when, "The Day," comes. Also, the characters aren't properly introduced, making it a little confusing in places but, unlike the previous comics I've looked at here, it has a strong premise and an emotional thrust that does mean I'd be interested in seeing what happens next.

The Evil Tree #1
by Erik Hendrix  and Daniel Thollin.

This is a horror tale about some people driving around in the snow.

At least, the bit I read was.

I must admit I gave up after a few pages. It seemed like fairly standard horror fare and was very badly drawn.

Obviously, it was deliberately badly drawn, to suit its genre but the combination of ugly artwork and unengaging writing put me off before I could get very far into it.

Guardians of the Galaxy Infinite Comic #1.
by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming.

I always loved the Guardians of the Galaxy, so I was always going to be drawn to this one.

Drax is sat around, minding his own business, when he's attacked and has a fight that goes on for page after page until it ends. Then some bloke turns up and says he's needed elsewhere.

Erm, that's it in terms of story.

On the plus side, the thing's been put together with electronic reading in mind, which means it tells the tale with fresh panels popping up over already displaying pages, rather than everything appearing sequentially, demonstrating that some sort of thought's been put into its structuring.

On the downside, it has virtually no dialogue, characterisation, wit, plot, intelligence or point and the artwork is awful. Given the ambitious story-telling style of Drax's creator, I can't help feeling Jim Starlin would be turning in his grave if he were dead.

Mouse Guard Fall 1152 #1
by David Petersen.

I can't deny it, I got this one because it's about mice - and who doesn't love mice?

What happens is some talking mice set out to find a missing talking mouse but instead find he had a dark secret.

This has a children's storybook feel to it, which automatically lends it a certain charm. It's not what you could call the most involving story of all time - in fact, the writing's pretty much as dull as it could be - but it is very nicely drawn and stars mice, so it gets a thumbs up from me.

Superman: War of the Supermen #0
by Sterling Gates/James Robinson and Various.

General Zod's back, is now leader of the Kandorians and wants to invade our planet. Meanwhile, dark forces are stirring on Earth.

This is a lot more violent than the good old days of Curt Swan.

That's not necessarily a bad thing but it is a shock to the system for the older-style reader.

It all seems to be well done and its various artists make up for an appallingly bad cover by giving us a lovely - if vaguely fascistic - splash page of the Kandorians heading toward Earth to give it a good smacking.

I don't know if I like the comic or not. I'd probably have to read more in order to make my mind up.

But it does have to be said that, with his seeming inability to grasp that all Kryptonians have the same powers that he has, Superman does come across as not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Well that's all fancy blather," I hear you cry, "But which was your favourite? And what did you make of the modern world of comics?"

My favourite for writing was Class War - which had flaws but was at least taut - and, for art, it was Mouse Guard.

I can make few conclusions on the state of modern comics because I'd need a bigger sample to get a proper overview of that. But, The Evil Tree and Guardians of the Galaxy aside, the experience wasn't as bad as I'd feared.

One of the reasons I gave up comics in the mid-1990s was because of rampantly self-indulgent artwork that made it impossible to understand what was actually going on. Apart from the odd lapse, none of these comics had that flaw. And one thing that does seem to have improved since then is that not one of them was drawn by someone who draws like Jim Lee with a broken arm.