A Lost Nero Wolfe Novel? You be the judge.

Back when the '80s were young I was a member in relatively good standing of the legendary mystery apa, DAPA-EM (a fiendishly clever acronym for Elementary, My Dear Amateur Press Association). The way it worked was that every couple of months thirty-odd (or thirty odd) people would print thirty-odd copies of their own fanzines and mail them off to the Official Editor, in this case Art Scott, (aka the Emperor of the Universe). Art would collate the zines, staple them into two or three volumes and mail them back to the members. Think of it as an extremely low-tech, and extremely slow, form of blogging. A wise-guy member once defined DAPA-EM as "sort of a cross between a religion and a disease." He was right.

Anyway, my contribution to the 45th mailing, in March of '82, was this 6-page zine called Fast One, in which I discuss the possibility of a lost adventure of Nero Wolfe. Incredible? Read it and see. This piece was also reprinted in the July/August (Vol. 6 No. 4) issue of The Mystery Fancier, which, to my utter astonishment, is now available as a POD book from Wildside Press. Hey Wildside, where are my royalties?

The Enduring Mystery of LANCECON '84

If you've been following our LanceCon pictorials (HERE), you may have noticed a gap of two years between 1982 and 1985. In 1983, photographer Art Scott must have stayed home in California. But in '84, Lance planned to move the convention to San Francisco, to coincide with Bruce Taylor's annual Nero Wolfe Dinner. 

But is that what really happened? Or was it all a hoax, as this antique fanzine claimed? What's the real skinny? You be the judge. 

NOTE: The cover above is pretty muddy, but if you squint hard, you'll find Lance Casebeer, the King of Paperbacks himself, wending his way through the revelry.

Flush Fiction: A Bullet for Bouchcon

(click to enlarge)

Here it is, the Worst Short Story of 1982, from the tenth issue of my old DAPA-EM zine, Defunct. I'd be tempted to call it the worst story of the 80s, or even of all time, but I ran an even worse one in 1983. 

So who is this Todhunter Lewis dude? His identity remains a mystery. As you may know, Todhunter was the middle name of both Rex Stout and W.T. Ballard, so it's possible he was some no-talent shirt-tail relative. Or not. 

Since this tale was aimed at members of DAPA-EM, last names of some characters were not stated. Everyone knew who they were. But for the record, the gang featured here includes 1982 Dapa-Emmers Art Scott, Bob Napier, Bill Crider, Walter Albert, John Nieminski, Dorothy Nathan, Kathi Maio, Steve Stilwell and Marv Lachman. I think the guy with the beer bottle in his mouth is Bill Trojan. And the guy wearing the yellow pajamas is Brian Trainer, a hard-core Portland Wolfean who never got around to joining the apa. (For a definition of DAPA-EM, see Thursday's post HERE.)

Read at your own risk! Recommended procedure: Click on each page to ENLARGE, then hit the Back button to return to the post - OR - open each page in a new window.

The Last DAPA-EM

Yes, DAPA-EM is defunct. The final mailing, No. 216, arrived in my mailbox yesterday. It was a complimentary copy, as I have been an ex-member since 1984, after spending four years in the ranks. That's me, second from left, attending the wake above.

DAPA-EM, which stands for Elementary, My Dear Amateur Press Association, was an amazing thing: A group of stalwarts so dedicated to mystery fandom that six times a year they would print up their own fanzines and send multiple copies to editor Art Scott, who would bind them together and mail the whole shebang back to all concerned. You might think of it as a forerunner of blogging. Someone once described DAPA-EM as "a cross between a religion and a disease," and I can't disagree. All of this began in the mid-seventies, and rolled on until this very moment. Over the years, 126 members have come and gone (or not). You would no doubt find many of those names familiar, because they're some of the movers and shakers of the mystery world.

Art Scott kindly invited me to contribute a couple of pages to the final mailing, prompting me to dig deep into my files. I found some stuff I still find interesting, including a horrible short story called "A Bullet for Bouchercon," and will be posting it on the Almanack soon.

For now, I present a few of the covers I put together way back when. This was the Stone Age of personal computing, of course, so I was working with press-on letters, a xerox machine, scissors and rubber cement. WARNING: Rated R for Adult Situations and Partial Nudity. Hotcha!