DC TRIP: George Washington Slept (and Sat) Here

Yeah, we made the pilgrimage to the old wickiup George called Mount Vernon. 

George, Martha and her rugrats by a previous marriage were there to greet us.

George's ride was pimped up something like this one, from the same Philadelphia carriage maker.

He also tooled around in a covertible.

Sadly, the best stuff was inside the house - and inside the museum - where no photos are allowed. Being watched like a hawk by one of the guards, I refrained from taking illicit pictures, but luckily, a few scofflaws managed to snap some and post them online. 

My favorite room in the mansion is Washington's study. That guillotine-type dingus above the chair is a foot-operated fan. 

Employing some fancypants science, someone managed to recreate what is supposedly Washington's true face. The first time we saw it on a mannequin, it looked pretty cool, but when the same face and same expression turned up on several more Georges, it got a little creepy. 

DC TRIP: The guy who put the Washington in Washington DC

George's face is all over the DC area, and rightly so. This painting, now in the National Portrait Gallery, was done from life in 1785 by British artist Robert Edge Pine. Thankfully, this was before George's mouth was disfigured by dentures.

This bust by Jean-Antoine Houdon, from around 1786, is also in the NPG.

This statue's in the NPG, too. Don't know whodunnit.

This is a detail from a study by Constantino Bremudi for the huge "Apotheosis of Washington" in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol.

This bust of George at a toga party was done by Hiram Powers in the 1850s. It now guards the elevator in the State Department's Diplomatic Reception Rooms.

Another in the Diplmoatic Reception Rooms.

Greeting tourists on the street in National Harbor.

Here he is in full denture mode.

Rembrandt Peale painted the original version of this in 1795, and made copies, like this one in the NPG.

DC TRIP: Was Thomas Jefferson an Asshole?

In gearing up for this trip, which I knew would include a visit to Mount Vernon, I read Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow (author of Alexander Hamilton, the inspiration for the musical), which really made old George come alive. One of the biggest surprises was Chernow's account of how Jefferson conspired with James Madison to smear Washington's reputation. While strutting about like noble statemen and pretending to be his friends, they were secretly funding a newspaper that published outrageous lies about him to further their own political aims. 

Yeah. I know history is mostly subjective, but if the facts as presented by Chernow are true, Tom and Jim were a couple of World Class assholes. With that in mind, I was not surprised by the mealy-mouthed image above, found in the National Portrait Gallery. 

Or the supercilious expression in the one above, also in the NPG.  

I met him again on a tour of the State Department's Diplomatic Reception Rooms, where he's dangling the Declaration of Independence like a bath towel. 

And finally at his own memorial, where he looks like a way-less-than-jolly green giant. So was he really an asshole? I still have no reason to doubt it. 

Of Hats, Salutes and Social Status: George Washington's Rules of Civilty and Decent Behavior, Part 6

Been a while since our last Civility 101 class from old George. In this batch of rules he seems uncommonly class-conscious, always deferring to those better bred or of higher or lower station. To his credit, though, he does stand up when addressed by his inferiors (better to punch them in the nose, perhaps?). And Jeez, if I'd known wearing a hat required such etiquette, I might never have developed the habit.

26. In putting off your hat to persons of distinction, as noblemen, justices, churchmen, etc., make a reverence, bowing more or less according to the custom of the better bred, and quality of the persons. Among your equals expect not always that they should begin with you first, but to pull off the hat when there is no need is affectation. In the manner of saluting and resaluting in words, keep to the most usual custom.

27. 'Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered, as well as not to do it to whom it is due. Likewise he that makes too much haste to put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to put it on at the first, or at most the second time of being asked. Now what is herein spoken, of qualification in behavior in saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of place and sitting down, for ceremonies without bounds are troublesome.

28. If any one comes to speak to you while you are are sitting stand up, though he be your inferior, and when you present seats, let it be to everyone according to his degree.

29. When you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop and retire, especially if it be at a door or any straight place, to give way for him to pass.

30. In walking, the highest place in most countries seems to be on the right hand; therefore, place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to honor. But if three walk together the middest place is the most honorable; the wall is uusally given to the most worthy if two walk together.

To bone up on the first 25 Rules (yes, there will be a test), please click on either of the labels below. 

Infirmities, Crimes and Misfortunes: George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 5

Yes, boys and girls, it's time for another lesson in courteous behavior from old Father George. I find this group to be mixed bag. While I certainly subscribe to Rules 21 and 25, and think 24 should apply to other people, 22 and 23 are going to be mighty tough. So much for my dreams of living in the White House.

21. Reproach none for the infirmities of nature, nor delight to put them that have in mind of thereof.

22. Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23. When you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased; but always show pity to the suffering offender.

24. Do not laugh too loud or too much at any public spectacle.

25. Superfluous compliments and all affectation of ceremonies are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be neglected.

Loll Not Out the Tongue and other commandments from George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 4

OK, all you cheek-puffers, lip-thrusters and tongue-lollers. Father George is putting you on alert. Also due for a spanking: You social pariahs who dare to read books in the company of others. For shame.

16. Do not puff up the cheeks, loll not out the tongue with the hands or beard, thrust out the lips or bite them, or keep the lips too open or too close.

17. Be no flatterer, neither play with any that delight not to be played withal.

18. Read no letter, books, or papers in company, but when there is a necessity for the doing of it, you must ask leave; come not near the books or writings of another so as to read them unless desired, or give your opinion of them unasked. Also look not nigh when another is writing a letter.

19. Let your countenance be pleasant but in serious matters somewhat grave.

20. The gestures of the body must be suited to the discourse you are upon.

For more swell social advice from George, click HERE. 

Bedew No Man's Face with Your Spittle -or- George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 3

Is that George Washington posing in the tricorn hat? Well, almost. Actually, that's me, channeling my inner George at the Yorktown, Virginia Victory Center.

I'm taking great pains of late to emulate old GW. To whit, I now murder my vermin, fleas, lice and ticks only in private, and whenever I see filth or thick spittle I put my foot dexterously upon it (provided it's not too deep). Will I grow up to be President some day? Stay tuned.

To see earlier posts in this series, click HERE.

11. Shift not yourself in the sight of others, nor gnaw your nails.

12. Shake not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak.

13. Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others; if you see any filth or thick spittle put your foot dexterously upon it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off privately, and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him who puts it off.

14. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon anyone.

15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them.

George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 2

I know you fans of civility and decent behavior are in a big sweat for another heaping helping of advice from young George Washington (yes, he of the cherry tree). The first five, with the skinny on where they came from, are HERE.

6. Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.

7. Put not off your clothes in the presence of others, nor go out of your chamber half dressed.

8. At play and attire, it's good manners to give place to the last comer, and affect not to speak louder than ordinary.

9. Spit not into the fire, nor stoop low before it; neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire, especially if there be meat before it.

10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.

Thanks GW!

George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 1

On our recent visit to Williamsburg, Virginia (more on that anon) and sidetrip to Washington D.C. (ditto) I was amused to find giftshops offering a slim little volume called George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. After resisting three times and feeling virtuous, I could resist no more and bought a copy.

According to legend, George was a Virginia schoolboy when he copied these rules by hand from a 16th Century Jesuit text. How much (if any) alteration Georgie made to the original precepts is unclear. But hey, if these rules were good enough for the future Father of our Country, they're good enough for me. The book contains 110 of these gems, so I'll present them here a few at a time to allow time for proper study and contemplation.

1. Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

2. When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body not usually discovered.

3. Show nothing to your friend that may affright him.

4. In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming voice, or drum with your fingers or feet.

5. If you cough, sneeze, sigh or yawn, do it not loud but privately, and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.

Words to live by.