The trailer for Tomorrowland
popped up in the cinema rotation the other week and I couldn’t raise my interest above anything more committed than a half yawned “meh”. It was my loyalty to my weekly cinema trip
that got me through the door to see Tomorrowland rather than any desire to see
the film. I didn’t go to the cinema with
negative vibes; I was simply daring
Brad Bird to make me interested. He
failed.
As I have yet to make it to America
I was not aware that the entire concept of Tomorrowland was based on section of
Disney World until the opening section of the film. Any little nods or winks to this hilarious cash grab
passed me by completely. FYI I am still
uninterested. Not bitter.
PLOT: After spending thirty minutes watching young
Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) fall off high ledges in the futuristic Tomorrowland
we jump forward several tomorrows to the present day in which twenty-something
teen Casey (Britt Robertson) finds a pin which gives her a glimpse into the
Tomorrowland of the past. Casey tracks
down embittered old Frank Walker (George Clooney) and demands that he takes her
to Tomorrowland as it is her life's calling. They
spend an hour of my life traveling to Tomorrowland only for the film to remember
that absolutely nothing is at stake. Suddenly!
In fifty-eight days! The world will end as the film needs a bit of tension. Nix (Huge Laurie) starts preaching about
obesity and starvation while Casey destroys a big ball thereby saving the world
from imploding from the power of negative thoughts. END PLOT.
The idea behind Tomorrowland is
cute and had potential. Who doesn’t want
to see a futuristic world in which people mess around on jet packs? It’s the dream. Tomorrowland takes a pretty neat concept and
turns it into the most boring 2hour experience of my life as most of the events
take place on earth and is bookended by two relatively short trips to Tomorrowland. Tomorrowland got less screen time than the latest reincarnation of Godzilla. I suppose we will see more of it in the sequel. Huzzah.
Despite having a big budget the vast majority of the effects were lazy and overly familiar
– surely blue splats from laser guns are old hat now? If Tomorrowland was released in the 80’s or
90’s it probably would have been a childhood favourite along the lines of
The Goonies or Jumanji but everything about Tomorrowland felt incredibly dated
which is quite an achievement for a movie advertising the future.
I am not the biggest George
Clooney fan in this world or tomorrows but even I could see that he was slumming it and poor
Hugh Laurie really can’t remember if he is British or American anymore judging
by his wavering accent. Britt Robertson graduated
at the top of her class in the 'Maggie Grace School of Teenagering' and her performance
was equal parts open mouthed wonderment and uncharming sass. It was tough to sit through. Robertson reminded me why I refuse to have the
Nickelodeon channel on in my house. The
less said about the Athena (Rafferty Cassidy) the better.
I really wish that I could use the
argument that I was not the target audience to justify or at least soften some
of my hatred for Tomorrowland but I cannot do that. It is a family film and in
order for a film of this type to succeed it has to appeal to all members of the
family. I can’t see kids being amazed at
jet packs no matter how enthusiastic Frank Walker is for them and I can’t see
adults being fooled into thinking that it is a good film just because George
Clooney is the lead. Tomorrowland is a
complete dud. It gets 2/10.