Beauty and the Beast

I never had any love for Disney’s animated version of Cinderella so I went to see the live action remake with no expectations and ended up falling in love with it.  Cinderella is a gorgeous film that does not and cannot fail to make me happy.  Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite films so the remake had a lot more to live up to. The stakes were raised to an even higher level due to the very convincing trailer, but there would be no middle ground. Beauty and the Beast would deserve either love or hate.

PLOT:  Set in post-war, pre-revolution, Three Musketeer referencing, France, a widowed inventor named Maurice gets lost on his way to a market no further than half a day’s ride from his front door and stumbles upon an enchanted castle.  After Maurice is taken captive by a Beast for stealing a flower, his daughter Belle, offers to take his place as the Beast’s prisoner.  Belle and the Beast bond over their love of books and tomato soup.  However, the Beast must also learn to love and be loved in return, by the time the last petal falls on his enchanted rose, otherwise, the castle will remain enchanted forever. END PLOT

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Beauty and the Beast so it was fun to watch a familiar plot play out in another format.  There were enough new scenes, such as the section with Gaston, LeFou and Maurice in the forest, to add an element of freshness to a script I could perform all by myself. 

I would never have chosen Emma Watson as Belle but it’s hard to criticise her performance.  Watson is not on Paige O’Hara’s level when it comes to singing but I don’t believe she was pretending to be.  Dan Stevens added depth to the Beast, which is missing from his animated counterpart, but my heart will never fail to sink during the transformation scene. A Beast should remain a Beast.

Luke Evans' Gaston is perfection.  

The supporting cast has some flaws: Ewan McGregor, despite being married to a French woman for a quarter of a century, seems not to have heard his wife speak, Emma Thompson appears to have taken elocution lessons from the Artful Dodger and Sir Ian McKellen is criminally underused.  The flaws don’t matter as Ewan McGregor justifies his casting during Be Our Guest, Emma Thompson is the heart of the film and, when he shows up, Sir Ian McKellen’s voice commands the screen as much as his actual presence. Beauty and the Beast is a hard film to cast, but any film that has the wonderful Stanley Tucci overact like crazy while playing a harpsichord can’t be too far off the mark.

The songs are just as memorable as the original. I was worried that Emma Watson would not be able to handle the Belle Reprise, which is the best musical moment in the original, but she put her own spin on it and did not attempt to tackle the big vocals.  I respect her for that.  I confess that I do not have any love or affection for Be Our Guest.  My deep dislike for that song is as dark as my secrets get, but I did love this version!  There were no flat musical numbers and Bill Condon did the set pieces justice.

Beauty and the Beast is a stunning film.  The entire film has a fairy tale glow about it which makes, what could otherwise have been some very questionable CGI characters, acceptable.  The tone of Beauty and the Beast was never aiming for realism and I think this was the correct decision. 

There will be folks that did not or could not fall in love with Beauty and the Beast.  If they were to explain to me why, I would in all likelihood see where they are coming from but I will not be swayed.  It made me happy and that is reason enough for me to fall in love all over again.  Beauty and the Beast gets 9.5/10.  It would have scored a perfect 10 had there been a bit more Cogsworth.  I’ll see it again in the cinema but I’ll also purchase the bluray and actually watch it.  I can’t give it any greater recommendation than that.

Oh, and to those folks who want to boycott the film due to their homophobic or prejudiced thought processes.  Good. Don’t see it.  You don’t deserve it.

Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

The Transformers franchise helmed by Michael Bay arrives for yet another instalment of chaos and shook awake a somewhat sleepy Summer Season in the cinema.

Did we ask for another Transformers film? No; but in keeping with tradition we will all bitch about Michael Bay then flock to the cinema with such robotic social conformity that we are one sequel away from a living in a Monty Python skit.

This is one occasion when I am not jumping on the bandwagon of hate.  I am standing in front of it aiming a bazooka at those who paid to see the film then took to the internet to express their mortal offense that the film was exactly as they expected it to be.  Old dogs learn new tricks quicker.

Run! The masses are coming with pitchforks and torches as you give them what they expected! Run!

PLOT:  After the war in Chicago (Transformers 3) the Autobots have gone into hiding and are being hunted down by Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar) and his robot ally Lockdown.  Optimus Prime is broken and hiding out in an old cinema until he is purchased by inventor Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg). Once up and running again Prime reunites the Autobots and they find themselves being hunted by Lockdown and factory made Decepticons.  China. END PLOT

This is a very condensed plot because, in all honestly, I had no idea what was happening.  Attinger’s motives for joining forces with Lockdown and creating robots to kill robots in the name of preserving America didn’t make much sense and this is before we get the sub-plot between Optimus Prime and the Dino-Bots. 

I have no problem disengaging with reality and leaving my brain at the door.  I do it every day when I go to work so it is hardly a chore when I got to the cinema but the script of Transformers: Age of Extinction was a mess.  The shambolic plot threads became more noticeable due to the 2hours 45min running time.  We were treated to many battles between robots vs. robots and robots vs. dino-bots which all blended into one big metallic ball of confusion.  A good hour needed to be chopped off the running time and although this would not have improved the script it may have made the confusion less noticeable and easier to forgive.

Michael Bay does not understand subtlety but the cinema is the perfect place to experience his patented “the noisier the better” brand of action.  The effects were stunning and the even though the robot action became confusing in parts there can be no denying that the Autobots look amazing. Despite the impressive special effects the action was at its strongest when it involved the human characters – I will never find a character in peril at a great height anything less than stressful.

Transformers: Age of Extinction marked a complete change in cast which was sorely needed. Sam Witwicky, his girlfriends, his family and their yappy dog had outstayed their welcome after the first instalment.  Michael Bay deserves high-fives all around for replacing Shia LaBeouf with Mark Wahlberg.

I am a fan of Mark Wahlberg as he is always entertaining to watch and although I don’t believe that Wahlberg is capable of inventing anything more technical than a two layered meat sandwich I took to crackpot inventor Cade Yeager with ease.  Yeager is accompanied by his teenage daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) and her oddly accented boyfriend Shane (Jack Reynor).  Their banter doesn’t always hit the mark but they were entertaining and the film was at its strongest when they were on screen.  TJ Miller was also a welcome addition to the cast but unfortunately his screen time was cut short.

Over on the dark side we had Kelsey Grammar and he was fine as a corrupt government agent but the undisputed star of the show was Stanley Tucci who was clearly having a blast.  Tucci got the obligatory 12A “fuck” and I was happy for him. 

The oddest double act of the year might just be  the best!

 

Overall Transformers: Age of Extinction is by no means the best that film I will see this summer but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself.  I can understand where the hate comes from but only up to a point - if you are still shocked by the quality of a franchise at the fourth instalment you are more at fault than the filmmaker.  Please feel free to remind me of this statement when I review Paranormal Activity 5.

Transformers: Age of Extinction gets 5/10 which is deservedly higher than Maleficent or Godzilla.  It would have scored higher if it were an hour shorter.  If there is to be a fifth film, and I have no reason to believe there won't be, I wouldn't be unhappy to see Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel bring the rain once more.

Jack the Giant Slayer

My interest in Jack the Giant Slayer was non-existent until I noticed Stanley Tucci in the trailer.   Tucci is one of those actors who can transform a film with nothing more than a cameo so my curiosity was piqued.

Nicholas Hoult’s status was high after Warm Bodies and Brian Singer gets the benefit of the doubt because of X-Men.

Jack the Giant Slayer couldn’t fail. Could it?

PLOT:  Jack (Nicholas Hoult) swaps his horse for some beans and unwittingly grows a huge beanstalk which joins earth with a land filled with man eating Giants.  After Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) gets kidnapped by the giants Jack, Elmont (Ewan McGregor) and Roderick (Stanley Tucci) set off to rescue her.  As Jack and Isabelle climb down the beanstalk they are followed by the giants who are determined to go to war.  END PLOT

Everyone knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, a popular fairy tale that can be read in about 5mins.  The idea of stretching this story over the course of a 114min (IMDB) film was a major mistake.

The plot is paper thin and straddles along the line between old fashioned and lazy.  The premise of an overbearing father sending a team of manly men to rescue a damsel in distress just doesn’t work anymore, at least not on such an obvious manner.

Brian Singer has proved that sometimes short children’s stories should remain as they were intended.  A trip to the editing room to trim the film down to a 90min family film would have removed the dud and unfunny filler scenes which brought the film to a halt. 

Nicholas Hoult is fine as Jack and has a quintessentially British charm.  I am paying him a compliment but he needs to choose his next couple of roles very carefully as there is a change he may evolve into Hugh Grant albeit a less creepy version. Eleanor Tomlinson as Jack’s love interest is fine in a thankless role.

Stanley Tucci is restrained and not allowed to steal the show.  This was a wasted opportunity.

The supporting characters are a tale of two Ewans.  Ewan McGregor, with hair styled so perfectly that it will cause Jason Bateman is exhale sarcastically when he sees it, is great fun as Elmont.  McGregor is clearly having great fun and it comes across very well on screen.  Ewan Bremner as Roderick’s lackey falls flat on his face and is embarrassing to watch.

The giants looked impressive but their overly Northern Irish accents meant that they were more annoying than sinister.  It is hard to take a threat seriously from a group of people who sound like they are from a housing estate in Belfast regardless of their height advantage.

Overall the effects were decent but the film didn’t come to life until the Giants clambered down the beanstalk and attacked the city.  Unfortunately by this stage it was too late as the only thing I was interested in was leaving the screen.

Jack the Giant Slayer doesn’t work as it is too predictable to be considered an epic tail and takes itself too seriously to have any tongue-in-cheek humour.   It gets a 4/10.

 

I am now terrified that Brian Singer is going to ruin X-Men.  This is not something I ever thought possible.