Dead Man Down

 

The only reason I went to see Dead Man Down was because a gap appeared in the listings between Iron Man 3 and Star Trek 2.  The person in charge of release dates chose wisely and earned his pay cheque.

PLOT:  After witnessing her neighbour murder a man from her apartment window Beatrice (Noomi Rapace) blackmails Victor (Colin Farrell) into killing the drink-driver who left her with facial scars.  As an uneasy alliance grows it becomes clear that Victor isn’t a cold hearted killer but a grieving father/husband who is waiting for the opportune moment to exact revenge on their killer, his employer Alphonse (Terrence Howard). END PLOT

The familiar plot is hampered by a ridiculously slow pace and for a film that clocks in at 118mins (IMDB) this was a major problem.  The lack of pace means that there was no tension and it's the first time in quite a while that I been bored in the cinema.

Colin Farrell tries hard to save Dean Man Down but the task is just too great.  Farrell is a good actor trapped in a vicious cycle of shite blockbusters that no one likes and Indie films that no one watches.  Unfortunately for Farrell, Dean Man Down is a hybrid of the two and is a shite film that no one will watch.  Not even the extended set piece of Colin hoovering his apartment with his top unzipped could raise my interest.

 

Noomi Rapace is riding the wave of the Millennium Trilogy very well but when it comes to film choices she has never done anything mildly interesting and Dead Man Down is no exception.

The action scenes are non-existent with the final battle being nothing more dramatic than a shoot-out in a mansion. *Yawn* I got secondary boredom from recalling the memory.

My review of Dean Man Down is shorter than usual (thank the gods I hear you mutter) because there is absolutely nothing to say. It’s a familiar premise rehashed in the most boring way possible.  If your script isn’t ground breaking at least have the common decency to blow shit up instead.  Dead Man Down gets 3/10. 

I will admit that the “try to spot the WWE wrestler” challenge kept me occupied but it was game over the second he spoke.

Fright Night 3D

As with my previous blog I have to start off with what now appears to be my usual disclaimer that I have not watched the original film.  This weeks remake is Fright Night and due to lack of choice it was Fright Night 3D

PLOT:  Charley (Anton Yelchin) is a reformed nerd now dating the high school hottie Amy (Imogen Poots).  Charley’s new found status is interrupted when his ex BFFF Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) begins to suspect that Charley’s next door neighbour is a vampire.  Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire.  Budweiser.  Charley seeks the help of Peter Vincent (David Tennant) a local magician/vampire slayer. Charley wears puce shoes.  David Tennant is possessed by the spirit of Jack Sparrow.  Budweiser.  Charley tries to stake Jerry.  Apparently there is 3D.  A vampire film not directed by Guillermo del Toro can be interesting.  END PLOT

The plot is fine and surprisingly engaging.  Some of the exchanges between Ed and Charley over vampire pop culture are worryingly similar to conversations I have had myself. 

The story moves relatively quickly however it fails to play up the suspense of whether or not Jerry is a vampire therefore losing some of its edge.

I am grateful that Shia LaBeouf can no longer play a teenager as he surely would have gotten the role of Charley and killed the film.  Luckily Anton Yelchin is very likeable and carries the lead role well.

Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s career is ticking over nicely and very soon he will graduate to college comedy and the next phase of his side-kick typecast career.

After David Tennant calms down he is fun and Colin Farrell eye-fucks his way through proceedings with ease.

The action scenes are quite basic however this suits the old school feel of the film.  The 3D is pretty much non-existent and was very poor to the extent that the film looked blurry and out of focus in parts.  There were a few decent 3D moments after some random vampires were staked but overall the this aspect of the film was underwhelming and unnecessary although this could be said for pretty much any 3D film.

The trailer for Fright Night looked fun but as vampires are not my genre I wasn’t sure how much I would like the film.  It turns I was pleasantly surprised as the film turned out to be very enjoyable and gets a decent 7.5/10 - I will bet getting it on dvd when it is released.

It turns out if vampires have a little more smoulder and a lot less sparkle I can get on board. 

*short sweet and more half assed than usual but I don’t care – back to the Sons of Anarchy I go*