Finding Nemo

 

The cynical part of me wants to hate Walt Disney for regularly re-releasing its back catalogue but no matter how hard I try and I just can’t.  I have too much affection for all things Disney to think ill of their money grabbing antics.

It is now Finding Nemo’s turn for a 3D conversion and although I was looking forward to seeing it again on the big screen it isn’t a film I would class as a favourite.

 

PLOT:  After his son Nemo is caught by a diver, Marlin (Albert Brooks) sets off on a long and dangerous journey to Australia to rescue him.  Along the way Marlin meets Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) a forgetful but friendly fish who offers to help him in his quest.  END PLOT

With dead mothers, overbearing fathers, physically impaired children and retarded sidekicks the plot of Finding Nemo could have played out like an after school special – luckily for us all Pixar handles the themes with ease and they never stray into cheesy territory.

 

The story of Finding Nemo is genuinely sweet but is made stronger by the fantastic characters.  Marlin and Dory are a great double team with Albert Brooks and Ellen DeGeneres voice work being top class.

Geoffrey Rush, Willem Dafoe and the always magnificent Allison Janney provide very capable support.  All of the characters serve a purpose and they serve it well – there are no weak links in the entire film.

 

Pixar have consistently raised the bar with their animation and Finding Nemo still looks gorgeous.  It is easy to lose yourself in the colours and just allow the film to wash over you – it is easily one of Pixar’s most visually stunning offerings.

Unfortunately Finding Nemo has fallen victim to the 3D craze and to be perfectly honest it is one of the worst conversions I have seen.  3D is generally added to give greater depth to the animation – Finding Nemo is the one film that didn’t require this.  I cannot look past poor 3D, especially 3D conversions, when I have been left with no option but to pay for the supposed pleasure.  I expect better from Disney.

 

Finding Nemo is a fantastic film which I thoroughly enjoy every time I watch it.  The problem is I have now seen the film in the cinema more times than I have watched it at home.  It was definitely worth seeing for nostalgia’s sake but Finding Nemo just doesn’t rank as one as Disney/Pixar’s all-time greats.  It gets an 8/10.

Green Lantern

Summer Season has arrived bringing with it the years biggest and noisiest films and quite frankly I am in my element as these are the films cinema was made for.

The main problem with Summer Season is that there is a never ending conveyer belt of said big and noisy films being produced so the quality rises and falls *like a witty pun I can't think of*

The trailer for the Green Lantern solidly put the film in the “fall” category and it was out of respect for the Summer Season that I love so dearly I was there to see it.

PLOT:  Tony Stark Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a cocky arrogant dick who gets chosen by a dying purple alien to become a Lantern.  Ryan inherits a ring and a Lantern which is used to charge the ring when the power dies.  There is no logic as to how and when the power dies and it proves that alien technology is just about as reliable as the battery on my damn Blackberry.  The entire known universe is split into a neat and tidy 3600 sections with Jordon destined to protect one of them from a fear eating cloud which suddenly appears from nowhere.  There is a love interest.  There is a training sequence which actually uses the line “gravity is a bitch”.  There are daddy issues from no less than three characters.  Mark Strong inexplicably has an evil CGI moustache.  Jordan saves the day.  END PLOT

The plot of Green Lantern is a rehash of many comic book adaptations.  This isn’t particularly a problem as like it or not all genres follow certain patterns and trends - the problem with Green Lantern lies with everything else.

I will admit that after seeing Ryan Reynolds play Deadpool in Wolverine I did go through a very short lived dvd collecting phase - it’s how I roll - but he never came anywhere close to being an actor I would actively seek out.  There were glimpses of talent in Buried when he showed (and surprised) the world that he was capable of carrying a movie based solely on performance.  In Green Lantern Reynolds regresses to an almost caricature incarnation of every other role he has played.  I think what makes it all the more offensive is the fact that he didn’t even try.

The supporting cast of the Green Lantern is unusually full of strong actors with Mark Strong (complete with a sinister CGI moustache) Geoffrey Rush and Michael Clarke Duncan  all appearing as Lanterns although in the case of Rush and Duncan their roles were nothing more than voiceover cameos.   Peter Sarsgaard is usually a reliable soul but in Green Lantern he spent most of his screen time screaming dramatically and is in no way a decent villain.

With this moustache and being called Sinestro the big surprise was that Mark Strong didn't turn out to be evil in the last act.

I am quite good at appreciating a film for what it is. I went to see a summer blockbuster laden with effects and explosions so I am not going to complain about the fact that the film contained effects and explosions.

The problem with the effects in Green Lantern is that they are just plain bad - most definitely the worst of the year so far.  The idea of having a completely CGI suit may seem like a neat idea but it didn’t work.  I know Reynolds is toned to within an inch of his life but even he isn’t that sculpted.  Reynolds’ head also didn’t match the body to the extent it looked like it  was copied and pasted on via amateurish Photoshop.

The power of the ring allows you to bring your imagination to life and although this is admittedly a cool power Hal Jordan’s imagination appears trapped in a childish Acme time warp - I was half expecting him to conjure up an anvil to drop on the evil clouds head.  I do appreciate that the childish imagination is part of Jordan’s psyche but it just gave the entire film an unwelcome cartoon feeling.

I had no background knowledge of the Green Lantern comic before I saw the film but in a way this is a moot point as I am reviewing a film not a comic.  I don’t need to have read a single issue of Batman to know that Christopher Nolan made one of the best superhero films to date. 

The Green Lantern is quite simply a bad film.  It gets 3/10 - if Mark Strong and Geoffrey Rush cannot save a film then it is pretty much fucked to high hell. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Summer season is here and that can only mean one thing - yet another unnecessary Pirates of the Caribbean film.

I hold the first POTC in high regard as it is a really fun swashbuckler. It’s okay that the inevitable sequel followed but by the third over-long, bloated and self satisfied sequel came I was more than done with this franchise. The theme in Hollywood at the minute is the reboot and POTC has jumped on this bandwagon and dropped the “gangs-all-here-itis” disease that it has suffered from since the first instalment, got rid of the deadwood and come back with its latest offering Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

PLOT: Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) knows where the Fountain of Youth is and gets tricked onto Blackbeard’s (Ian McShane) ship by ex-girlfriend Angelica (Penelope Cruz) and forced to lead them to the fountain. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) chases them down posing as a King’s Privateer hell bent on getting revenge on Blackbeard for the loss of his leg and for stealing the Black Pearl, a ship in which Barbossa has himself stolen from Jack Sparrow on several occasions. There is an unrequited love story even blander than the Will/Elizabeth saga. There are mermaids who don’t get enough screen time. The badass and underused Spanish show up to renounce Pagan Fountains. I like to think that the mermaid drowned the cleric. Proceedings have a sense of deja vu about them. I still despise Johnny Depp. END PLOT

POTC recycles plots to almost criminal levels of self-plagiarism - swap Aztec gold with Fountain of Youth, the Royal Navy with Spanish Armada and Will/Elizabeth with Philip/Serena and we have a new movie. As with the third instalment this film is far too long and filled with too many Johnny Depp scenes.

The entire London section should have been cut as it added nothing to the film. There were quicker ways to get the film started and any time spent in Tortuga is always welcome fun.

There is a fine line between homage and rehash and the battle in the blacksmiths was very much an unwelcome rehash.

Johnny Depp once again has far too much screen time as Jack Sparrow. In Curse of the Black Pearl he is not the lead character - he is supporting cast and the film works so much better with lesser amounts of Sparrows own drunken brand of comic relief.

Every time Johnny Depp rocks up with his latest quirky character I roll out my “if all his performances are quirky and original then none of them are” phrase. I don't get the hype over Johnny Depp.

Depp portrayed Jack as a drunken cockney idiot whereas Geoffrey Rush is clearly enjoying himself playing a full on pirate complete with appropriate levels of RRRRR. I love the character of Barbossa as much as I dislike Jack.

When you look at Barbossa and the things his character has achieved in the POTC saga it shows that we are following story of the wrong character:

The life and times of Hector Barbossa:
1) Successfully leads a mutiny on the Black Pearl
2) Locates a casket of Aztec gold and fritters it away on whores and booze in what one can assume is a right old laugh
3) On the discovery that he can no longer feel, taste or die he embarks on another epic journey to locate each piece of Aztec gold and return it to the casket from whence it came.
4) He died (we all have off days) but was also brought back to life again in time for the 3rd film. One can only assume the afterlife was a right old laugh complete with whorish ghouls and the devils ale.
5) I am sure he did something memorable in At Worlds End but I refuse to acknowledge the film exists
6) He loses the Black Pearl in an epic battle at sea with Blackbeard
7) Saws off his own leg with a sword.
8) Gets back onto dry land after the self amputation despite the life threatening amounts of blood loss
9) Wheedled his way into the Kings Court and is trusted enough by said King to captain a ship and find the Fountain of Youth
10) Is currently vacationing in Tortuga no doubt frittering away his time on whores and booze.

All of these events are explained by a single throwaway line in their respective films. Barbossa will no doubt turn up in Episode 5 with a new leg, shaved head and a Russian Bride who has a birth mark on her left foot shaped like a map to the Lost City of Atlantis and brush it off as an after effect of too much whoring and boozing. The real adventure in the POTC series takes place off screen.

POTC always picks up whenever Barbossa is on screen and when Barbossa and Jack had time together the film was noticeably lifted. The problem is these moments were often short and far apart.

Penelope Cruz was as feisty as ever. I absolutely loved the Spanish theme running through the film which even livened up the tired score. The Spanish Armada were underused and the revelation that they wanted to destroy the Fountain of Youth rather than use it for themselves seemed a bit strange as they failed to destroy the two chalices in their possession which were required to successfully avail of the fountains power. At least they weren’t as useless as the British Navy.

The fantasy creatures in this film were mermaids who were very creepy and not as shitty looking as the kraken.

Despite all the negatives I did enjoy this film and it annoys me to admit it as I really and truly wanted to hate it. There are some good set pieces and at times there were glimpses of genuine humour.

On Stranger Tides is leagues better than At Worlds End and is not a shabby way to start off the summer fluff season. It gets a 7/10. I still hate Johnny Depp.

The King's Speech

If I am going to the cinema I like to see big noisy films as let's be honest they aren’t going to look and sound half as good on even the highest quality home theatre system. The problem with this lifestyle choice is that sometimes dramas get pushed to the back of the queue. It’s nice that Oscar Season arrives during the post Christmas lull and I use the opportunity to see movies, such as The King's Speech, that would in all likelihood get lost during the busy Summer Season.

PLOT: Prince Albert (Colin Firth) is second in line to the throne and is happy to be so as it keeps him out of the public eye however after his father King George V dies and his brother King Edward VIII abdicates in order to continue his relationship with Mrs Wallace Simpson, Prince Albert takes up the crown and becomes King George VI.
The problem is Prince Albert suffers from a stammer which is exacerbated by the pressure of public speaking and with his sudden placing on the throne and the country on the brink of war he is expected to become the voice to calm the public. Albert’s wife Elizabeth (Helena Bonham-Carter) enlists the help of Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) a well respected yet unorthodox speech therapist who tries to get to the bottom of Albert’s stammer.
The two work together in order to prepare Albert for various speeches. I work at not crying my eyes out for the best part of two hours and a King is born. END PLOT

I have never been so emotionally engaged with a movie as I was during The King’s Speech. It was great to watch Albert, or Bertie as Lionel insisted in calling him, and Lionel’s friendship grow with scenes ranging from down right funny to emotionally traumatising especially the moment when Albert breaks down believing he is not a worthy King.

I have never been a big fan of Colin Firth but that changed today as he is absolutely fantastic as Prince Albert. Firth not only raised the bar but reset the standard and it will be a brave decision not to give him the Oscar for his performance.

Geoffrey Rush (a strong contender for Best Supporting Actor) was also brilliant as was Helena Bonham Carter as Elizabeth in a much smaller role than expected.

There was no weak link with the supporting cast and the movie contained a nice little moment between Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle, the quintessential Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett, meeting for the first time.

It has been a long time since I sat in the cinema as engrossed as I was during The King’s Speech. It is just excellent film in every way imaginable. If I was to pick a flaw it would be that it ended.

There were no tricks in The King’s Speech. There were no special effects. There was just Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush acting and as it turns out the simple drama was the noisiest film I have seen in a long time. 10/10.