(If you want to skip the whole story, there are picts down below)
On Sunday December 4th I was getting ready for church as normal, the boys were off playing and Ross was working. After I finished getting ready I was looking in the mirror and noticed I had a bump on my neck. My hand flew to my neck and I leaned in closer. I couldn't believe I had this huge bump on my neck that came out of no where! I decided to look it up on Google and typed bump on neck and the first words that jumped out at me were thyroid (problems) and cancer. I didn't want to freak myself out more so I quickly got off. I tried calling Ross, but of course he was in surgery, so I called my brother JD (whose also a resident). After talking to him, I was able to calm down, he told me I should go in that week and get it checked out. Well minutes after getting off with JD, Ross called. After telling him everything, he started freaking out, which of course, made me freak out.
Well after getting off the phone, I fortunately had to get everything ready for church and we hurried out the door. I say fortunately because I was able to keep my mind off things, and since it was just me with the 3 boys, my mind was pretty occupied through sacrament meeting as well. I do remember though having this thought as we were singing one of the hymns, "what if I wont be able to sing anymore", which of course made me tear up, so I pushed that thought out. I did pretty good for the rest of church until the last hour. Since I didn't have to do sharing time or anything I was just sitting with Jace sleeping on my lap, and my mind just started wandering all over the place of all these things that this thing in my neck could be, and what it could mean. And I also realized that I was absently touching my neck a lot feeling this mass, and I couldn't believe how big it felt.
When we got home, Ross was there, (he actually picked up the house for me! :] ) and I went up to him wanting him to check this thing out (and tell me it was nothing to worry about). I could tell he was trying to put on a brave face and he told me he wanted me to go to the doctor that next day to one of the Hospitalists he rotated under at St. Mary's.
I walked into my parent's house that night right up to my mom and showed her my neck. She was mashing potatoes or something and she just started going crazy on them, and said, "I told you to get your thyroid checked!" Yeah she wasn't very happy with me. (Ever since Cashel was born, I've been able to eat whatever I want, not exercise, and I don't gain any weight.) I thought the fact she was mad at me was pretty funny. :)
After dinner, Ross, my Dad, and Scott (brother-in-law) gave me a blessing. It was such an amazing blessing that brought me such comfort. I've had many blessings throughout my life, even ones of healing that have helped, but none have brought me such peace. Even now sitting here writing about it and thinking back on it, I'm filled with the Spirit. I have such a strong testimony of the powers of the priesthood, and of the gospel. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is the true church. I feel so blessed to be apart of it!
So the next day I met with the doctor Ross knows in the lounge since we didn't have an appointment or anything. He sat us, my mom and I, down and gave us a stack of papers, looked at the mass and told us he was 99% sure that it was a cyst and may be able to just be aspirate it, pulling the liquid out. I was relieved to hear that news! Well Ross had ordered a blood draw for me, as well as a ultra sound and had this doctor sign it, so that was the next stop. During the ultra sound I remember seeing the lady's face and it just looking...off, or serious. But I tried not to over think it, maybe that's just how she was.
Ross came home with the blood results, and everything was normal. But later that night, the radiologist called Ross and told him that I had a large mass that needed to be biopsied. So I spent a good part of my day trying to find a family doctor, so they could order the biopsy. I swear I couldn't get into anyone for days! After telling Ross this, he called another doctor he rotated with, Gialde. And he got me in on Wednesday morning. I was so relieved that Ross was able to come with me! Gialde told us he was 99% sure it was benign.
Well after seeing him, he sent us to St. Mary's to get the biopsy right away. It's nice having connections! :) Getting the biopsy, was not fun, but it could've been worse. I received 3 numbing shots, and then they aspirated the mass 4 times with these super long needles like 3 inches long. The lady who'd done the ultra sound was there helping, and said, "I wondered if I'd see you back here." So she could eve tell it didn't look good. It helped a lot having Ross right by me the whole time, rubbing my head.
I was honestly expecting not to find anything out until the earliest the next week, but Ross came home early the next day, Thursday, like around 3 or so, I just thought he got off early! He was acting kind of quiet, so I went up and hugged him, and then he let me know that I had cancer.
I heard the words, but it didn't really sink in. We decided to call his family and let them know (we'd tell my family later- my parents in person). Ross talked on all the phone calls, on speaker so I could hear, and I was doing ok- I just felt numb to the whole thing. It wasn't until it was almost time for Braden to get home that I got emotional. I wanted to tell him, but at the same time I didn't. It went really well telling him though. We told him I was sick and that the bump on my neck that was making me that way, so I was going to have to have surgery, like what Daddy does, to get it taken out, and then I'd be ok! He didn't seem concerned, but was asking silly questions (I think that's his coping mechanism).
That night we went to my parent's and told them, then called my siblings, and grandparents to tell them, not fun, but I could feel all their support.
That Sunday, we found out someone had told the Bishopric about it, which was kind of annoying, but whatever. It ended up being great because Bishop had us meet with him, and Pres. Aimes after church. They talked to us, gave us words of encouragement, then asked if we'd both like a blessing. Pres. Amies gave my blessing, and Bishop gave one to Ross. They were both such needed and appreciated. The spirit was so strong in that room. After the blessings, Pres. Aimes looked me in the eye, and told me everything would be ok, that I would be fine as long as I did what the doctors told me, I would be fine. I believed him, and I still do.
I met with the ENT that week and he was amazing! He sat us down and explained everything he would be doing. It calmed my nerves so much! Then we set up the surgery, January 3rd.
The night before surgery:
We decided to to a little impromptu photo shoot
Kissing my ouie
Braden didn't want to kiss my neck, so he decided to do this,
Love it :)
Braden decided it was mommy and daddy's turn
And now the boys (Jace was in bed)
The day of surgery
Goodbye kisses
Getting prepped
After surgery! Apparently the surgery went really well, they said these surgeries take anywhere from 1-2 hours, and mine only took 45 mins.
Getting ready to head home the next morning, and feeling pretty good! Still whispering.
Here's a picture (not very flattering huh?) after I had gotten my calcium and the symptoms were starting to where off. That was the position of my hand and wrist that hey were stuck in but more rigid.
I'm just so over come with emotion right now thinking back on this experience. There have been so many people that have come to our aid. Family, my parent's taking the boys while I had my surgery and the first 2 or 3 days so I could have time to recoup, Grandma Jones coming for 10 days to watch the boys, cook us meals, and clean for me following the surgery, and Megan coming for those extra days I was in the hospital to help her mom. Friends who've brought us dinners, babysat for us so I could go to my appointments or have some time to rest, and who've come and cleaned my house! It is seriously so amazing to me the love that I feel from so many people. I also know that there have been many prayers said in my and my family's behalf, and those who've fasted for us as well, and those prayers have been felt. I know the end of this journey may not be over, but I know I'll be fine, especially with so many people willing to help.