Shit Quotes

“Come on! Laugh at it all! Or at least laugh at something!
All the shit will still be there to deal with when you're done,
but you'll be in better shape to deal with it!”
― Shellen Lubin

“I had archives of everything that had happened since I hacked my governor module, but I hadn’t had as much relevant experience in that time. But what I did have were thousands of hours of category mystery media, so I had a lot of theoretical knowledge that was possibly anywhere from 60 to 70 percent inaccurate shit.”
― Martha Wells, Fugitive Telemetry

“They can talk, they can spit, they can bitch, they can trip, they can shit on themselves, for all I care! I don't have a problem.”
― DON SANTO

“So I shredded their cash, put it in a box with a fresh pile of the dog's shit, and mailed it back to them. Mature? No. Immensely satisfying? Hell fuckin' yes.”
― Carian Cole, Tied

“Why are some words bad? The idea that they could be bothered me as a kid. Words are strings of sounds. How could sounds be bad? But of course: words aren’t just strings of sound. They are strings of sound to which we attach meaning. And yet it’s not the meaning of words that makes them bad either. Just consider this list: poop, crap, manure, dung, feces, stool. It’s all the same s**t. And yet, it’s only “s**t” we shouldn’t say. Why is that? F**k if I know.”
― Scott Hershovitz, Nasty, Brutish, and Short: Adventures in Philosophy with My Kids

“If you let people shit all over your doorstep, you’re the one who looks like shit, not them. Go and shit on their doorstep. Or are you too liberal, prissy and up yourself for that? There’s nothing worse than dilettantes, posers and Ignavi. If you’ve got no fire in your belly, fuck off! Go and let someone shit on you. We’re not interested in coprophiliacs.”
― Mike Hockney, The Mathmos

“Suddenly I stood up mightily...bent forward a little, and in one go I produced. I turned. What a sight! What a smell! It was a magnificent log of excrement, at first poorly formed, like conglomerate rock that hasn't had the time to set, and dark brown, nearly black, then resolving itself into a dense texture of a rich chestnut hue, with fascinating convolutions. It started deep in the potty, but after a coil or two it rose up like a hypnotised cobra and came to rest against my calf, where I remember it very, very warm, my first memory of temperature. It ended in a perfect moist peak.”
― Yann Martel, Self

“Everyone goes through enough shit that we all look like turds in the end.”
― Nuclear Circus, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“Be kind
(of an asshole).

The funny thing about assholes
is they always end up covered in shit.”
― Nuclear Circus, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“A field of stiff weeds and thistles and tufted nettle-bunches. Thick among the tufts of rank stiff growth lay battered canisters and clots and coils of solid excrement. A faint marshlight struggling upwards from all the ordure through the bristling grey-green weeds. An evil smell, faint and foul as the light, curled upwards sluggishly out of the canisters and from the stale crusted dung.”
― James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

“The shit once descends into the colon, will refuse to go back. You have to face the shit. Think well before you speak”
― Vineet Raj Kapoor

“History is always written by the winner and they think their shit don't stink.”
― Sarah Biglow, Lucifer's Emblem

“Sometimes I have to ask myself why the toilet is so empty when it is so full of shit.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“It’s when we start shitting out plastic bags that we will start to realize that we have got a problem with our environment.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“When the great needs fail the need to move on the need to shit and vomit and the other great needs all my great categories of being”
― Samuel Beckett, How It Is

“Greed is when you don't give a shit about humanity.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“Laxatives will always win the race.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“Remember: Shit will always flow at its own pace.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“Sage advice: No one should disturb a man while he's on the shitter. It's his personal time.”
― Erika M. Weinert, Cursing with Style: A Dicktionary of Expletives

“As a noun, shit can pretty much be anything. It's one of the most versatile words in this dicktionary.

For instance, 'While I was shitting, my roommate was yelling some shit from the other room about how I always leave my work shit on the table.”
― Erika M. Weinert, Cursing with Style: A Dicktionary of Expletives

“The quality of toilet paper is never fully known until...shit!”
― Martin "Rainman" Leghart Jr.

“God is responsible for your shit but he is not responsible for its color.”
― P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

“The woman is a force of nature.”

Crash relaxes a bit but doesn’t move from where he’s positioned himself as a wall before me. “She sure as hell is, but she deals with enough from assholes like her coworker. Just because she’s a force of nature doesn’t mean she should have to put up with everyone’s shit.”
― Rory Miles, Shadow Slayer

“You can’t dance for shit.” He dragged me along, his footing exact, his scowl growing.

“You can’t converse for shit,”
― Jane Washington, A City of Whispers

“As I teased, I smelled the faintest waft of shit coming up from underneath her. It smelled like fertile heaven: peat moss, soil, sod, loam. It smelled good because it was her. She had a perfume, and this was her base note.”
― Melissa Broder, Milk Fed

“Therapy, in every language, means 'to take out the shit', 'to eat excrement', to harvest putrefaction'.”
― Giovanna Rivero, Tierra fresca de su tumba

“If you can't even calmly take a Shit, you are already a Slave — except you enjoy it.”
― Sino Melo

“Shitting is normal – being normal is shitty.”
― Sino Melo

“If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“Life on the road isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's not all sex and drugs and rock and roll, whatever we tell you. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you may just find yourself staying with people who believe in revolution through squalor, holding your breath and pushing someone else's shit down a plughole with a stick.”
― Steve Ignorant, The Rest is Propaganda