Shit Quotes

“Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you.”
― Johnny Depp

“Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.”
― Colleen Hoover, Slammed

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”
― Mel Brooks

“Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...”
― David Sedaris

“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Shit on your whole mortifying, imaginary, and symbolic theater!”
― Gilles Deleuze, Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia

“I wonder idly how long i can go without sleep before I flip my shit and start running down the street in my underwear, hallicinating purple spiders.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.”
― Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

“It's hard to really look at somebody and go: "Hey, maybe something nice will happen." You just don't-- I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it's nice, it's going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you've just decided that something shitty is going to happen.”
― Louis C. K.

“Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ("Tolerance zero")”
― Erik Pevernagie

“oh shit it's shit”
― Stephen King, Different Seasons

“God's grace is not defined as God being forgiving to us even though we sin. Grace is when God is a source of wholeness, which makes up for my failings. My failings hurt me and others and even the planet, and God's grace to me is that my brokenness is not the final word ... it's that God makes beautiful things out of even my own shit. Grace isn't about God creating humans and flawed beings and then acting all hurt when we inevitably fail and then stepping in like the hero to grant us grace - like saying, "Oh, it's OK, I'll be the good guy and forgive you." It's God saying, "I love the world too much to let your sin define you and be the final word. I am a God who makes all things new.”
― Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint

“You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.''

''Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,'' Teresa replied. ''Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Sinner

“It's easy to talk big, but the important thing is whether or not you clean up the shit.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

“Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God's image. Either/or: either man was created in God's image - and has intestines! - or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.

The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus "ate and drank, but did not defecate."

Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man's crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man.”
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

“You have less honour than a piece of shit.”
― Alison Goodman

“It wasn't fair, but what is? Life is a crap carnival with shit prizes.”
― Stephen King, Mr. Mercedes

“If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit”
― Doug Stanhope

“This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit."

-Ty Henderson”
― Madeleine Urban

“Popatrz jeno. Kościół, karczma, bordel, a w środku między nimi kupa gówna. Oto parabola ludzkiego żywota.”
― Andrzej Sapkowski, Narrenturm

“Things are called shit for a reason, dear.”
― Chloe Jun

“Don't step on shits, don't be part of shits, don't shit on others as you escape from other bullshits." ~ Angelica Hopes, an excerpt from If I Could Tell You”
― Angelica Hopes

“Shit happens. Doesn't mean you have to step in it. But if you do I would buy a new pair of shoes.”
― Kilburn Hall

“hoo-leee shite!”
― Joseph Staten, Halo: Contact Harvest

“Nobody gives a shit that you're offended. I'm not. And my opinion is more important to me than yours.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert: Comics, Deep Thoughts and Quotable Quotes

“A young English couple was visiting with me one summer after I had been composting humanure for about six years. One evening, as dinner was being prepared, the couple suddenly understood the horrible reality of their situation: the food they were about to eat was recycled human shit. When this fact abruptly dawned upon them, it seemed to set off an instinctive alarm, possibly inherited directly from Queen Victoria. "We don't want to eat shit!" they informed me, rather distressed (that's an exact quote), as if in preparing dinner I had simply set a steaming turd on a plate in front of them with a knife, fork and napkin.”
― Joseph C. Jenkins, The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure

“I wonder either their God has turned old, sick or died, because even the religious people no more believe in shit.”
― M.F. Moonzajer

“All I can tell you for certain is that at this very moment I'm speaking to you I could do with a really foul whore – I'd like her fresh from the seat of a close stool, her arse reeking of shit, and her cunt smelling of fish. Ho there, Thérèse! You whose filthiness dates back to the Flood, you who haven't wiped your arse since you were baptized and you whose vile cunt stinks for ten miles around, bring all that over here, I beg you, and add a turd, too, if you like.”
― Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom

“But when you're caked in your own leavings, you don't really mind being hit with brutally hard jets of water.”
― Douglas Coupland, Worst. Person. Ever.