Showing posts with label Alison Moyet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alison Moyet. Show all posts

Sunday, 31 March 2024

Snapshots #337 - A Top Ten Resurrection Songs


For Easter Sunday, here's ten songs about coming back from the dead... along with a chap who's been resurrected many, many times over the years...


10. They grew up in the Concrete Jungle.

What else rose in a concrete jungle, but stone flowers?

The Stone Roses - I Am the Resurrection

9. Hooch & Walters.

Turner & Hooch, Frank & Walters...

Frank Turner - The Resurrectionists

8. Tight police department.

The Vice Squad - Resurrection

7. Steen, Donna, Forever, Edgar.

Springsteen, Donna Summer, Forever Autumn, Edgar Winter.

The Four Seasons - American Crucifixion Resurrection

6. TV channel that only shows Desperate shows about woodwind instruments.

Desperate Dan and Reed instruments are all you'll find on this network.

The Dan Reed Network - Resurrect

5. Heavy remains, horticulturist without the MDMA, Greg from the BBC.

A ton of ash, a gardener who's missing an E and Greg Dyke...

Ashton Gardner & Dyke - The Resurrection Shuffle

4. Heaven's Gate.

Heaven's Gate was a particularly nasty cult.

The Cult - Resurrection Joe

3. Bewildered Klan manager. 

"Klan manager" was an anagram...

Mark Lanegan - Resurrection Song

2. Oscar could have been a member.

Oscar was born to be Wilde... just like these guys.

Steppenwolf - Resurrection

1. Snooty email confusion.

"Snooty email" was an anagram...

Alison Moyet - Love Resurrection


Snapshots is reborn next Saturday morning...

Sunday, 27 March 2022

Snapshots #233: A Top Ten Devil Songs


I guess I put the clocks way too far forward this week.

The Devil made me do it... 


10. King gets hump at mailman.


I'll let Cliff's biggest fan, Charity Chic, explain this one...

"King Richard had a humpy back and Cliff from Cheers was a mailman."


9. Leo? Gemini? Yuk!


Anagram!


8. Don't jump these guys, or they'll blow you away.


Don't jump the Gun...


(60s band. Not to be confused with the 90s band of the same name.)

7. Whereas these guys can come true.


Pretty obscure, this bunch, to be fair.


6. When Midge left, he took the Boy's Club with him. 


Take away Ure and the Club from Boy George's band and all you have left is...


5. Your hair is beautiful, cock.


"Your hair is beautiful" is a line from Atomic.


4. Over the top.



3. Cover the tea, Enoch.


You cover the tea with a cosy, Enoch Powell.


2. Anytime loos.


Anagram!


1. Cocaine and Jack.


Cocaine is Charlie, Jack is Daniels.


I'll try to be a bit more organised next week.


Sunday, 24 January 2021

Saturday Snapshots #173 - Top Ten Letter Songs

 


Amazing how just adding a picture of a cat to a post can increase your hits by 150%.

Anyway, this week's answers. And yes, they were all songs about letters...


A TOP TEN SONGS ABOUT LETTERS


10. This way up.

The Box Tops - The Letter

9. Heavenly celebrities.

Stars - Elevator Love Letter

8. Alien lands on loch.

ET lands on Moy.

Alison Moyet - Love Letters

7. You're so money, Benny.

"You're so money!" is a line made famous by Vince Vaughan.

Benny is, of course, Hill.

Vince Hill - Love Letters In The Sand

6. Remedy.

The Cure - A Letter To Elise

5. Perturbing scenes.

Anagram!

Bruce Springsteen - Letter To You

4. Imaginary rabbit, goes with Duncan.

The imaginary rabbit was Harvey.

PJ goes with Duncan.

PJ Harvey - The Letter

3. Used for playing this game in Central America, centuries ago. 


The earlier form of Saturday Snapshots used an Aztec Camera.


2. A pal for Scooby Doo and Starsky & Hutch, sits on the dock.

Scooby's pal was Shaggy.

Starsky & Hutch hung out with Huggy,

Put them together with Otis, who sat on the dock...

Shuggie Otis - Strawberry Letter #23

1. Helicopter arms!

Another anagram, obviously.

More next week.  

 


Wednesday, 13 March 2019

My Top Ten Girls vs. Boys Songs



Ten girl songs versus ten boy songs. Who will come out on top?


10. Generation X - Modern Boys vs. Sheena Easton - Modern Girl

Billy Idol vs. Sheena Easton... who would you put your money on?

The boys outnumber the girl here, but they teach 'em to fight tough in Glasgow.

Sheena takes the first victory for the ladies.

9. Morrissey - Girl Least Likely To vs. Boy Least Likely To - The Battle of the Boy Least Likely To

Regular viewers will realise we can't let Morrissey win one of these - not even to a band who named themselves after one of his songs. I say because it's because he needs to maintain that perpetual losing streak, you probably say it's because he's a nazi.

The boys make it one all.

8. Alison Moyet - Ode To Boy vs. Carl Barat - Ode To A Girl

Well, obviously this one goes to Alison... although that does mean the boys go one up.

7. The Seekers - Georgie Girl vs. Jack Lukeman - Georgie Boy

"Jack who?" you cry. Surely Judith Durham claims a victory here.

Except...

There's something about the perkiness of Georgie Girl that has the worst kind of 60s sound to my ears... and that Jack Lukeman track is pretty damned good, actually.

3-1 to the boys! Oh no!

6. Death Cab For Cutie - Some Boys vs. Racey - Some Girls

So to get the girls back in the game, I have to choose RACEY over Death Cab For Cutie.

Thank god I'm uncool.

3-2.

5. Voice of the Beehive - Stupid Boy vs. Garbage - Stupid Girl

Very cool Beehive song (great lyrics too), but Shirley wins this one, bringing us back to level-pegging.

3-3

4. Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe - The Golden Boy vs. John Martyn - Golden Girl

A nice simple acoustic John Martyn song vs. the operatic pomp of Freddie & Montserrat, a track from the Barcelona album which I've not listened to in ages. I was almost about to give this one to the girls too, but around the 2 1/2 minute mark, Freddie only goes and blows the bloody doors off. Wow.

4-3 to the boys.

3. Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy vs. Lucinda Williams - Lonely Girls

I'm going to confess something now... for many years, I considered Andrew Gold's Lonely Boy to be a masterpiece on a par with Morrissey's I Have Forgiven Jesus in regard to describing how my life felt... in fact I think I may have listened to it a bit too much.

On the other hand, I first heard Lonely Girls on an Uncut compilation CD and it was probably the track that introduced me to Lucinda Williams.

4 all.

2. Don Henley - Boys of Summer vs. Arab Strap - Girls of Summer

Arab Strab are hilarious, and this is one of their best.

But... Boys of Summer is one of the greatest songs of the 80s, and one of the best summer songs ever recorded. I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...

5-4 to the boys.

1. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry vs. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Too close to call, surely?



Let's call it a draw to keep everyone happy...


But what would your verdict be? Boys or girls? Whoever wins, the losers don't cry...


Friday, 23 June 2017

My Top Ten Innuendo Songs (Volume 1)


That's Gary there. He's getting down to business, apparently. Like this.  Kind of reminds me of Jermaine in Flight of the Conchords. It was Business Time For Him too. But only on a Wednesday.

When I were a lad, pop songs used to allude to matters sexual. Subtly. You know, like My Ding-A-Ling. Subtle. You listen to what the young people are listening to these days and they're doing it in the kitchen, in the hall, in the back of a Vauxhall Astra... they've got no shame. And they just come right out and say it! Where's the fun in that? Where's the phnarr? Honestly, things were so much better back in the day...

Anyway, here's ten songs that would have Kenneth Williams crying, "Matron!"


10. Adam Ant - Goody Two Shoes
You don't drink,
Don't smoke,
What do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow...
There must be something inside
All very well, Adam, but I'm not sure how subtle it is if you have to tell us it's a bloody innuendo!

9. Diana Ross - Chain Reaction

I'm really not sure I believe this one or if it's all just an internet myth, but apparently, the lyrics to Chain Reaction are really, really smutty. Barry? Maurice? Robin? DIANA!?

Say it ain't so...

(Investigate this one at your peril.)

Cards on the table though, I love Chain Reaction.

The song. I mean the song!

8. Aerosmith - Love In An Elevator

The opening to this song / video is puerile, offensive and ridiculous. I feel ashamed for admitting it makes me laugh every time I hear / see it. Actually, there's very little innuendo here, it's just pure smut. But Steven Tyler is such a rock star caricature, it's hard to be offended by it.

7. The Who - Squeeze Box
Mama's got a squeeze box
She wears on her chest
And when daddy comes home
He never gets no rest
'Cause she's playing all night
And the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box
Daddy never sleeps at night
From the same band who were just looking at their Pictures of Lily, nothing else.

6. Prince - Chocolate Box

Not one to use an innuendo when he can be Prince (Gett Off, Cream, Come, etc. etc. etc.), Chocolate Box is actually Prince at his most restrained. It's not about a box of chocolates.

5. Billy Bragg (via Woody Guthrie) - Ingrid Bergman

Who knew Woody Guthrie was such a dirty old man?

4. Grace Jones - Pull Up To The Bumper

I will hold my hand up and say that for years, I had absolutely no idea there was anything remotely sordid about this track. It's just about a traffic jam, isn't it? Isn't it?

3. Cinerama - Quick, Before It Melts

David Gedge is on about a one night stand here, not an ice cream. And the perils of doing that when you've reached a certain age... or had too much beer, I guess.

He stole the title from a dodgy 60s farce, by the way...


2. Alison Moyet - Love Resurrection

One of those songs which got away with it for years because nobody really listened to what Alison was singing.
Show me one direction
I will not question again
For a warm injection
Is all I need to calm the pain


What seed must I sow
To replenish this barren land
Teach me to harvest,
I want you to grow in my hand


Let's be optimistic,
Let's say that we won't toil in vain
If we pull together
We'll never fall apart again...
Phew. Cold flannel, anyone?

1. Squeeze - Pullin' Mussels From A Shell

What goes on behind the chalets should stay behind the chalets.

Everybody knows that this is a nudge-nudge, wink-wink song... but have you EVER heard anyone use the title as innuendo in real life? Iffypedia tells us, "the phrase 'pulling mussels' is British slang for sexual intercourse, mainly used in England". Really? Not where I live, mate.





I have a load more big ones if anybody wants to see them.

Your suggestions are always welcome...


Tuesday, 22 November 2016

November #2 - Neil's First Time


2. Neil Diamond - Desiree

Although I'd planned to feature this song anyway this month (because it's been on rotation: no idea why), it became a little more timely after Alyson from What's It All About, Alfie? raised a question over at A History Of Dubious Taste about whether Neil Diamond was acceptable in these circles (since most things are, but Michael Bolton clearly isn't). Of course, we all jumped up in support of Mr. Diamond... well, Jez and I did, but I'm sure the rest of you were nodding along in silent approval.

Anyway, here's one piece evidence in the Neil Diamond Rocks case, a 1977 number in which Neil tells us about his first love, and drops in a little innuendo along the way that would make Alison Moyet proud...
It was the third of June
On that summer's day
When I became a man
At the hands of a girl
Almost twice my age...
(By the way, Alison Moyet Rocks too. Get over it.)

Built around a bassline very reminiscent of It's Still Rock 'n' Roll To Me* (Billy Joel Also Rocks... but as he released that song three years AFTER Desiree, maybe he was also a Diamond fan), Desiree has everything you could want from a pop song: a great story, a dramatic performance, and stabs that Elvis could have karate-kicked you off the stage to. Today, I'm leaving my shirt unbuttoned for Neil.





*By the way, if you have the time to watch Billy's video too, I'd recommend it for the way he dances at the drum break. It looks like he's squaring off in a pub fight, about to headbutt you. Class.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

My Top Ten Invisible Songs


After flight, invisibility would be my super power of choice. Still, while I may never soar like a bird... lately there are times I do feel extremely invisible.

When I started planning this post, I felt sure there'd be space for Genesis - Invisible Touch and The Police - Invisible Sun. And you know me, usually I'd have no shame about such inclusions. However, neither really made the grade this time round. Apologies to Sting and Phil Collins fans. You must feel just awful.(Heh.)



10. Bruce Springsteen - Hunter of Invisible Game

This year's "new" Bruce album turned out to be a bit of a contract filler, containing a bunch of songs left over from his last LP and some re-recordings of earlier stuff (the new, rockier version of The Ghost of Tom Joad was arguably better than the original).

Therefore, because Bruce didn't have to spend any time writing new material, he chose instead to become an actor and filmmaker. The internet seems divided on whether that was a sensible move or not. For all its fancy filmmaking, this feels like a Bon Jovi video. And hey, I have nothing against Jon Bon... but Bruce has always been a step above.

Still, at least it's better than Courtney Cox.

9. Primal Scream - Invisible City

Bobby Gillespie goes for a wander round town and chronicles the charming inhabitants he encounters along the way...

Flashing lights, police cars
Polysexual gutter stars
Brutal stares, skinhead crops
The corner boys look like their dogs
Kebab shops, pubs and mosques
Lapdancing clubs, synagogues
Police stations, crack house zombies
Readers' wives, suburban orgies


Pissed up girls, Kia-Ora tans
Mini skirts, one night stands
Up the duff, sun bed thighs
Missing father all their lives
Rain wet streets
Hallucination, stretched faces
Like a Bacon painting...


8. Kate Bush - How to Be Invisible

Kate finds a book of spells, the best one promising invisibility...

Eye of Braille
Hem of anorak
Stem of wallflower
Hair of doormat


Yeah, like Kate Bush could ever be invisible!

7. Paul Weller - Invisible

Another song about growing old. I've been listening to a lot of these lately, for some reason...

There was a time
I though every hair on my body was alive
Yes it was
Now you can't even see
The grey and the dye
I'm not one to give up

But I feel I'm at a loss

No Grecian 2000 here... just in case you were wondering.

6. Alison Moyet - Invisible

There are a lot of crass numpties comparing Alison Moyet to Adele purely because both have enjoyed huge success despite not being stick insect thin... or taking their clothes off all the time in their videos. There's even a ridiculous internet rumour going around that Alison is Adele's mum. Sometimes, people are just too stupid to be allowed to draw breath.

Anyway, Alison Moyet - what a voice! It's a shame that the 80s production makes some of her best records sound a little tinny to modern ears, but Invisible is still a classic.

5. Modest Mouse - Invisible

Not sure what this impassioned Waits-ian rant from Modest Mouse is all about, but there's one line I do get:

No, you're not invisible inside your car...

How many drivers do you see every day that actually think they are?

4. Queen - The Invisible Man

Remembered fondly from the height of my Queen-addicted adolescence, this one owes much to John Deacon's throbbing bassline... ironic as, in many ways, Deacon was (and remains) the Invisible Man of the group. Also featuring an amazingly tacky computer-game influenced video that could only have been made in the 80s. Amazingly, Freddie makes those sub-Max Headroom shades look cool.

3. Aimee Mann - Invisible Ink

Aimee Mann's voice pours through my ears like world-weary honey. And that songwriting...!
But nobody wants to hear this tale
The plot is clichéd, the jokes are stale
And baby we've all heard it all before
Oh I could get specific but
Nobody needs a catalogue
With details of love I can't sell anymore
2. The Twilight Sad - That Summer, At Home, Had Become The Invisible Boy

The title comes from Stephen King's The Stand. The song: an epic, building behemoth of jangling guitars and angry lyrics that express teenage frustration and alienation perfectly.

1. Elvis Costello - The Invisible Man

One of my all-time favourite Costello songs, from his finest album (imho). Not being one to include lyric sheets with his earlier records, I spent a fair amount of my teenage years with headphones glued on, puzzling over the playful intricacies of Elvis's songwriting. The Invisible Man is a pretty straightforward idea in which Mr. C is cast as The Invisible Man because, as the fade out lyric explains "Now you won't see me..." It's the lyrics prior to this that gave me the most joy though, particularly the glorious chorus...

But if stars are only painted on the ceiling above
Then who can you turn to and who do you love?
I want to get out while I still can
I want to be like Harry Houdini
Now I'm the invisible man


And then there's the backing - thundering piano rolls from Steve Nieve and the powerfully uplifting sound of the TKO Horns who backed much of this record and made it the brightest and most life-affirming in the Costello canon...



Can you see me? Do you hear me? Will you leave a comment so I don't feel quite so invisible today...

Friday, 9 November 2012

My Top Ten Diary Songs


I never kept a diary. The closest I ever came was writing a blog. Sadly, I can find only one record about blogging. Scribbling down your life in a diary though... there's plenty to go at.



10. Bread - Diary

David Gates. Hugely unappreciated 70s songwriter. We should have more of him round these parts.

9. Pink - Dear Diary

Yes, Pink again, two Top Tens running. Have we not got over my Pink addiction yet? Really.

8.  The Ataris - In This Diary

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.

Discuss.

7. Eels - Jeannie's Diary

I don't have a chance at writing the book
I just wanna be a page
In Jeannie's diary
One single page
In Jeannie's diary
New Eels album coming in February - yay!

6. The Kinks - My Diary

Sorry, Ray Davies's diary is too full to squeeze you in today.

5. The Real Tuesday Weld - The Day Before You Came

Written by Abba, a hit for Blancmange, but it's the Real Tuesday Weld version I can't get enough of. No actual diary in this song - but if the writer had kept one, his memory of the day in question might be a little better.

4. Yazoo - Nobody's Diary

Only in the 80s could a pop band have looked like Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke. One more reason I'm glad I grew up in this wonderful decade.

3. The Beautiful South - My Book

One of my favourite Beautiful South singles, yet one of their least successful. Heaton's on top lyrical form here... what a pity Soul II Soul felt the need to sue him for it for his "Back to bed, back to reality" refrain.

This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese

2. The Bluetones - Solomon Bites The Worm

The Bluetones adapt the diary of one Solomon Grundy, esquire, for one of their greatest songs. It's a cracker. As Kevin Bacon says, doing his best Frank Carson impression on that advert. Now there's something I never thought I'd see...

1. ELO - The Diary of Horace Wimp

I found the story of Horace Wimp heartbreaking as a younger man. I could certainly empathize with his hopeless quest to find a significant other...

Wednesday. Horace met the girl. She was small and she was very pretty. 
He thought he was in love, he was afraid - uh oh. 
Thursday. Asked her for a date, the cafe down the street, tomorrow evening. 
His head was reeling, when she said yes, OK.




Those were the best entries in my diary. Which one do you keep padlocked under your pillow so your mum won't read it?

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