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Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones in Two and a Half Men (2003)

Episode list

Two and a Half Men

    • SeasonsYearsTop-rated
    • 123456789101112
  • Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, and Brian Turk in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E1 ∙ Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

    Mon, Sep 24, 2007
    Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen and Holland Taylor in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E2 ∙ Media Room Slash Dungeon

    Mon, Oct 1, 2007
    Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients; Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Ming-Na Wen in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E3 ∙ Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

    Mon, Oct 8, 2007
    Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen and Ming-Na Wen in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E4 ∙ City of Great Racks

    Mon, Oct 15, 2007
    Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen and Elijah Michael Lee in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E5 ∙ Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

    Mon, Oct 22, 2007
    Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E6 ∙ Help Daddy Find His Toenail

    Mon, Oct 29, 2007
    A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
    7.7/10 (1.4K)
    Robert Wagner and Conchata Ferrell in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E7 ∙ Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

    Mon, Nov 5, 2007
    Alan and Jake move in with Evelyn after Alan gets into a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl.
    7.6/10 (1.3K)
    Jon Cryer and Richard Kind in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E8 ∙ Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

    Mon, Nov 12, 2007
    Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.
    8.4/10 (1.8K)
    Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg, Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Robert Wagner in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E9 ∙ Tight's Good

    Mon, Nov 19, 2007
    Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
    7.9/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E10 ∙ Kinda Like Necrophilia

    Mon, Nov 26, 2007
    Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.
    8.0/10 (1.5K)
    Jon Cryer and Kimberly Quinn in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E11 ∙ Meander to Your Dander

    Mon, Mar 17, 2008
    Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.
    8.0/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen and Melanie Lynskey in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E12 ∙ A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

    Mon, Mar 24, 2008
    Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
    7.7/10 (1.4K)
    Ryan Stiles in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E13 ∙ The Soil is Moist

    Mon, Mar 31, 2008
    Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.
    8.1/10 (1.5K)
    Jon Cryer and Carrie Reichenbach in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E14 ∙ Winky-Dink Time

    Mon, Apr 14, 2008
    Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute and accompanies Jake on a double date.
    7.9/10 (1.4K)
    Jennifer Lee Keyes, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Mikki Padilla, and Jen Lilley in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E15 ∙ Rough Night in Hump Junction

    Mon, Apr 21, 2008
    Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.
    7.7/10 (1.4K)
    Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg and Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E16 ∙ Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

    Mon, Apr 28, 2008
    Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men (2003)
    Top-rated

    S5.E17 ∙ Fish in a Drawer

    Mon, May 5, 2008
    Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
    8.6/10 (2K)
    Susan Blakely in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E18 ∙ If My Hole Could Talk

    Mon, May 12, 2008
    Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than he is, has a 32-year-old son and treats Charlie more like a son than a boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend but keeps losing the book before he can read it.
    7.7/10 (1.4K)
    Charlie Sheen, Susan Blakely, and Holland Taylor in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S5.E19 ∙ Waiting for the Right Snapper

    Mon, May 19, 2008
    Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
    7.8/10 (1.4K)

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