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Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones in Two and a Half Men (2003)

Episode list

Two and a Half Men

    • SeasonsYearsTop-rated
    • 123456789101112
  • Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E1 ∙ Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

    Mon, Sep 19, 2011
    After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house--until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife has just left him.
    5.5/10 (3.8K)
    Ashton Kutcher and Stephany Jacobsen in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E2 ∙ People Who Love Peepholes

    Mon, Sep 26, 2011
    Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with Evelyn, but Alan sees an opportunity to return to the beach house when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
    5.3/10 (2K)
    Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E3 ∙ Big Girls Don't Throw Food

    Mon, Oct 3, 2011
    While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
    5.3/10 (1.7K)
    Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg and Jon Cryer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E4 ∙ Nine Magic Fingers

    Mon, Oct 10, 2011
    Alan starts working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place could be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex-girlfriend Courtney.
    5.6/10 (1.5K)
    Jon Cryer and Courtney Thorne-Smith in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E5 ∙ A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

    Mon, Oct 17, 2011
    Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.
    5.8/10 (1.4K)
    Ashton Kutcher and Judy Greer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E6 ∙ The Squat and the Hover

    Mon, Oct 24, 2011
    Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's former shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
    5.6/10 (1.4K)
    Angus T. Jones and Macey Cruthird in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E7 ∙ Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

    Mon, Oct 31, 2011
    Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal; and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
    5.9/10 (1.3K)
    Jon Cryer and Taylor Cole in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E8 ∙ Thank You for the Intercourse

    Mon, Nov 7, 2011
    Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous of Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
    6.6/10 (1.4K)
    Jon Cryer, Conchata Ferrell, and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E9 ∙ Frodo's Headshots

    Mon, Nov 14, 2011
    Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and that he must move out immediately.
    6.4/10 (1.4K)
    Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E10 ∙ A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

    Mon, Nov 21, 2011
    After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
    6.2/10 (1.3K)
    Ashton Kutcher and Judy Greer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E11 ∙ What a Lovely Landing Strip

    Mon, Dec 5, 2011
    Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.
    6.3/10 (1.2K)
    Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E12 ∙ One False Move, Zimbabwe!

    Mon, Dec 12, 2011
    Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a brother from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
    5.7/10 (1.3K)
    Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, and Sophie Winkleman in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E13 ∙ Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

    Mon, Jan 2, 2012
    When Walden's mother and Bridget try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?
    6.6/10 (1.2K)
    Ashton Kutcher and Sophie Winkleman in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E14 ∙ A Possum on Chemo

    Mon, Jan 16, 2012
    Zoey pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair; Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.
    6.3/10 (1.1K)
    Ashton Kutcher and Sophie Winkleman in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E15 ∙ The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

    Mon, Feb 6, 2012
    Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoey, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.
    6.4/10 (1.2K)
    Jon Cryer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E16 ∙ Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

    Mon, Feb 13, 2012
    A torrential storm strands Alan and Walden at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day.
    6.6/10 (1.1K)
    Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E17 ∙ Not in My Mouth!

    Mon, Feb 20, 2012
    When Zoey doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately going after another woman.
    5.5/10 (1.2K)
    Patton Oswalt in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E18 ∙ The War Against Gingivitis

    Mon, Feb 27, 2012
    Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea--and a few secrets.
    5.6/10 (1.1K)
    Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E19 ∙ Palmdale, Ech

    Mon, Mar 19, 2012
    Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
    6.3/10 (1K)
    Jon Cryer and Courtney Thorne-Smith in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E20 ∙ Grandma's Pie

    Mon, Apr 9, 2012
    Zoe is upset to learn that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture; Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and planning to move in together.
    6.0/10 (1K)
    Talyan Wright in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E21 ∙ Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

    Mon, Apr 16, 2012
    Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter move in with him; Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
    6.1/10 (1K)
    Kathy Bates in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E22 ∙ Why We Gave Up Women

    Mon, Apr 30, 2012
    Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle-aged woman to tell Alan to make some lifestyle changes after his heart attack.
    6.2/10 (1.1K)
    Jon Cryer in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E23 ∙ The Straw in My Donut Hole

    Mon, May 7, 2012
    Alan decides to take advantage of his family's and Walden's guilt after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
    5.7/10 (1.1K)
    Alem Brhan Sapp in Two and a Half Men (2003)

    S9.E24 ∙ Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

    Mon, May 14, 2012
    Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
    6.4/10 (1.1K)

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