Boating in Coconut Grove, Danger Lurks. By Geniusofdespair

Boating in Coconut Grove -- or anywhere -- has tales of safety and of course, etiquette.

What is the woman above wearing that is really a problem for boats?

The black clunky heels of course. They leave scuff marks on the white or light color of the floor of the boat. No one wears shoes on a boat.

Now for the second tale and this one is a whopper...a true story of DANGER AT SEA.

Four guys go 20 miles offshore in this boat, pictured above. It has one engine and no kicker engine to back it up a pretty dangerous boat for offshore fishing. That is way too far for such an old engine on a 23 foot boat.

They got the 20 miles offshore where they wanted to troll and the engine conked out when they slowed down. It would not start again. They tried and tried to restart it and only the battery got drained. Apparently they had water in the fuel. Hmmm? How did that happen?

Anyway they looked miles to the East and saw a giant  gargantuan freighter coming their way. They lit a flare and then another. The container ship did not veer away from them. They called the coast guard and asked them to call the ship. Apparently the freighter was operating without looking where they were going assuming everything would get out of their way. The little pro-line owner said they were all ready to jump overboard but they didn't know which way to swim and figured they would just get sucked under the freighter as it passed. Finally the freighter came up on them and missed them by about 200 feet.

The boat called Seatow -- they were adrift in the gulf stream -- and the rescue occurred somewhere in Northern Broward County, a long way from their starting point of Coconut Grove. Thank God they had plenty of beer to tide them over during their long ordeal at sea.

What have we learned from this harrowing tale? Don't wear a bow on a dimpled butt.

How to tie up a boat. There will be a quiz. Amazing! By Geniusofdespair

watch on YouTube

Those of you who go boating will be very impressed. Others, no so much. The Will Rogers of boat lassoing.

Boating Etiquette: Music On A Boat. by Geniusofdespair

Fourth of July is coming and I dread going out on a boat to listen to OTHER PEOPLE'S MUSIC. Party and drink all you want, just stop with the loud music.

You might be playing music I like from the 500 watt mega-speakers you have installed on the front of your boat. I just don't want to hear it. Whether you play hip hop, salsa, country western or rock, it doesn't matter. People in general don't want to hear other people's choice in music, they want to hear their own.

Let me be in peace on my boat or let me listen to my own music. Your sound should end at your boat. Get the friggin' speakers off the front of your boat and be a human being and respect your neighbors on the water. Here is an even better idea. If you want to play loud music, isolate yourself from others and anchor. Better idea, don't play music at all, go out to enjoy the water and give your ears a much needed rest.

Really? Your stupid little boat needs these??

The Monica Burguera Foundation. By Geniusofdespair

The Monica Burguera Foundation was created in memory of Monica Burguera, a 20-year-old Florida International University student who died in a tragic boating accident during the 1996 Columbus Day Regatta weekend festivities in Miami, Florida. The accident took the lives of Mónica and James Noel Pou and left many others seriously injured. After this fatal accident, Mónica’s family and close friends realized the importance of boat safety education.  They will pay the $25 fee for a boating safety course.

Volvo Around the World Ocean Race. By Geniusofdespair

Warm up for 8.2-mile in-port Miami race yesterday. Groupama came in second.

The American team of Puma warming up. They came in third.

Abu Dhabi Ocean Racing won the race yesterday.  We didn't last long out there with our small boat. The seas kicked up and the sky was threatening.

The only stop in the U.S. was Miami for these boats. They leave today at 1pm. Departure ceremony is at 10 am at Bicentennial Park.  Lisbon is their next stop.

Around the World Ocean Race: Puma Has Arrived in Miami. By Geniusofdespair

Puma arrived about 3p.m. on Wednesday at Bicentennial Park, winning leg 6 of the 3,590 nautical mile race. The racing boat was greeted in Miami with rain and hail. Be sure to check out the Volvo Ocean Race Village where you can party and get to see the boats.

Miami is the only North American stop-over for the race. Watch a video on it. Here is the schedule if you go down to the racing village set up at the Park:

Watercraft Safety Foundation. By Geniusodespair

This foundation was created in memory of Mónica Burguera, a 20 year old girl who died in a boating accident in the 2006 Columbus Day Regatta in Miami. The accident took the lives of Mónica and James Noel Pou and left many others seriously injured. After this fatal accident, Mónica’s family and close friends realized the importance of boat safety education so they formed this Foundation.

They gave me a free hat and safety brochures on Columbus Day Weekend as we launched our boat. They asked for NO MONEY. I applaud people, who out of tragedy, try to help others from suffering the same fate; humanity at its best. Monica and James, you would be proud of those you left behind.