More on the Cleave Hay(na)ku

In my previous post, I proposed a new form: the cleave hay(na)ku. The example I gave in that post worked like this, using letters to stand for words in this illustration. A B C D E F     a b c d e f In my Craft of Poetry class, we have been talking about tercets, or three-line stanzas, and of course the hay(na)ku is a tercet form. Last week, in that context, I brought up Eileen Tabios's new rippled mirror hay(na)ku and also the cleave hay(na)ku. After class, my student Jed Kurth pointed out that the hay(na)ku on the right could be a reverse hay(na)ku, like this. A B C D E F     a b c d e f Thanks, Jed. In looking at how such a format would be understood, the left hay(na)ku would read A B C D E F ; the right one would be a b c d e f ; and the combined poem (paying attention to line breaks) would say A a b c / B C d e / D E F f . There's a really cool symmetry in this set-up having four words per line, overall. Since that class three days ago, Jed has emailed me three cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right side. Three! So cool. (Friends, I'll let you work out the three readings of each cleave: left, right, and combined.) Will You? why not say you love me you want to (or) maybe not.   Ignorance was that you I searched for no one aware did know her   So Sue Me, Disney when you wish upon a star you are hungry to dine fish —Drafts by Jedediah Kurth    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Jed, these are very good. I particularly like how the combined poem reads in your last cleave hay(na)ku: "when you are hungry / you wish to dine / upon a star fish." How witty and fun! I've also written a cleave hay(na)ku with a reverse hay(na)ku on the right. Thanks for the inspiration, Jed. Hereafter forever and ever amen, but then   a long time after saying what? —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] I'm particularly proud of the combined poem in my cleave: "forever a long time / and ever after saying / amen, but then what?" Thanks again, Jed, for giving us a wider window into the possibilities of the cleave hay(na)ku. I hope, poet friends, you will give this new form a try. As I said last time, it's quite an interesting and fun challenge. Everyone, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

 

The Cleave Hay(na)ku

I was talking via email recently with Eileen Tabios, inventor of the hay(na)ku form, about her new variation, the Rippled Mirror Hay(na)ku, and I wrote one in honor (or maybe in dishonor?) of our current presidential election. Mirror I'm Donald Trump. Best president ever. Bust. President never. Donald Trump. Um . . . —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] As you can see, in the rippled mirror hay(na)ku, the reflection is vertical. The word "best" in line 3 is reflected in line 4 (in rippled fashion) by "bust." The word "I'm" in line 1 is ripple-reflected in line 6 by "Um." See here for more on this new variation. Well, I wondered, could the reflection be horizontal rather than vertical? I was reminded of the Cleave poetic form. Basically, the cleave features a left side poem, a right side poem, and then a combined poem. This is most easily explained in columns: A     a B     b C     c If we imagine the letters above are lines in a cleave poem, the left side poem would be read down as A B C, the right side poem would be a b c, and then the combined poem would be read across as A a B b C c. I'd like to propose a new variation then: the Cleave Hay(na)ku. I'll give you an example first; it might be clearer than a definition at this point. Please note: this is more of a demo than an actual poem. Mycelia mushrooms live forever like strange ghosts       do you know that people eat —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Here are the three different poems that we can read: left side right side combined       mushrooms live forever like strange ghosts do you know that people eat mushrooms do live forever you know like strange ghosts that people eat So there you go. The Cleave Hay(na)ku . . . two hay(na)ku side-by-side, where the hay(na)ku on the left is read as one poem, the hay(na)ku on the right is read as a second poem, and then both hay(na)ku are read as a third, combined poem, both first lines together, then the second lines, and finally both third lines. I hope you'll give these two new forms a try. They're quite the poetic challenges. In fact, Eileen has issued a call for rippled mirror hay(na)ku and cleave hay(na)ku here, with a deadline of 15 November 2016. In Eileen's hay(na)ku blog, there's a page documenting all the known variations of hay(na)ku. Check it out . . . there might be a form there you'd like to give a whirl. Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word "comments" in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ