The Stafford Challenge, Day 22

Today, I've got a parody of Leigh Hunt's great small poem, "Jenny Kiss'd Me," from the 1830s. Here is Hunt's original: Jenny Kiss’d Me —Leigh Hunt (1830s) Jenny kissed me when we met,     Jumping from the chair she sat in; Time, you thief, who love to get     Sweets into your list, put that in: Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,     Say that health and wealth have missed me, Say I'm growing old, but add,     Jenny kissed me. Here's a link to this poem online. It's one of my favorite poems ever. An underrated poem by a great Romantic poet. Here's my parody. Dogsitting parody of Leigh Hunt’s poem “Jenny Kiss’d Me” Penny pooped when we went out     To walk around the block today. She peed three times to mark, no doubt,     For other dogs, she’d been this way To say she's healthy, but she's sad     Her mom has gone away on a trip. Dumb or not, we can always add:     Penny pooped. —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Silly, but I hope you enjoyed that. There's a little rhyming trick above. I do some enjambed rhyme here (where the end rhyme is completed at the beginning of the next line). Look at lines 6 and 8: "trip/D..." and "pooped." Penny, my daughter's beagle Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

Day 14 ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2023

Maureen Thorson’s NaPoWriMo prompt: “write a parody or satire based on a famous poem. It can be long or short, rhymed or not. But take a favorite (or unfavorite) poem of the past, and see if you can’t re-write it on humorous, mocking, or sharp-witted lines. You can use your poem to make fun of the original (in the vein of a parody), or turn the form and manner of the original into a vehicle for making points about something else.” Robert Lee Brewer’s Poem-a-Day prompt: “write an 'And Now for Something Completely Different' poem. This prompt is inspired by the Monty Python skits that would suddenly shift gears, but your poem doesn't have to be humorous. It should aspire to be somehow different than what you've written so far this month. ” My poem today is a parody, though not of a famous poem as the prompt asks but rather of my own foibles as a poet. The "something totally different" vibe begins with the title, which is in lower case; I always capitalize my titles. autoparody     We wore wool. We     Felt full. We Those were going to be the opening lines of a parody of Gwendolyn Brooks today until the second prompt suggested “and now for something totally different” . . . and I realized I have written mainly in form this month, so it must be time for free verse. That parody was going to make fun of holidays where we gorge: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, corned beef and cabbage on St. Paddy’s, Fourth of July BBQ. Brisket, beef brisket in a summer picnic basket. Uh-oh, I almost rhymed there. Watch out, impending rhyme flare! Can I write without decasyllabics? Can I break out of these rhythmic habits?     Maybe not haiku?     Or at least not talk in 5-     7-5 sylla—         And, oh God, heaven forbid the curtal         sonnet, to which the poetry machine         in my brain defaults. In fact, you may have         sensed I’m now four lines into a curtal         sonnet, and the next rhyme has to be “-een”         and the rhyme after that should be “-av” — STOP! Whoa, that was six lines of ten syllables each just now. The only way to stop writing in poetic form right now is to end this poem. Must stop. Must stop. Oh Wow. —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Alan also worked with both prompts today but he indeed parodied a famous poem, [Buffalo Bill's] by E.E. Cummings. Click here if you don't know that poem in order to compare with Alan's send-up. [Governor Lee’s] Governor Lee’s fucked up                           who used to                           tout a secondamendment                                                                               gospel and break the                           firstdamnedamendment       gaggeditjustlikethat                                                                                             Jesus does not recognize him                                                       and what I want to know is how do you like NRA cash Mister Death —Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

NaPoWriMo / PAD 2023 • Pick a day: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Day Three ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2023

Maureen Thorson’s NaPoWriMo prompt: “Find a shortish poem that you like, and rewrite each line, replacing each word (or as many words as you can) with words that mean the opposite. For example, you might turn ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’ to ‘I won’t contrast you with a winter’s night.’ Your first draft of this kind of ‘opposite’ poem will likely need a little polishing, but this is a fun way to respond to a poem you like.” Robert Lee Brewer’s Poem-a-Day prompt: “[W]rite a connection poem. The connection poem could be technical, like a phone connection or an internet connection. But it could also refer to a romantic connection or one of a kindred spirit.” The poem I'm "opposite-ing" today is [you fit into me] by Margaret Atwood. Maybe take a look at it — such a wicked little poem! — before you read my opposite poem. I did the "opposite-ing" with everything except the first line. Oh, also, as usual, I'm doing the connection thing as well. Unhappy Couple — after [you fit into me]     by Margaret Atwood They connect together like a spoon and a mouth a grapefruit spoon a closed mouth —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] In case you haven't seen a grapefruit spoon, it's got a sharp, serrated front edge . . . probably not something you'd want to put in your mouth. Click on the image above if you want to see the serrations better. It's quite a horrorshow! Alan worked with both prompts as well. Here's what he wrote me about today's poem: "I am not sure how well this one responds to the two prompts, Vince, but it’s been nothing but disasters on the news for the past few days, mostly brought on by ourselves." We Fund Fools The Poll Players. Several at the Golden Trough. We fund fools. We Close schools. We Ban books. We Crave crooks. We Block blue. We Court Q. We Long lie. We Don’t die. —Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Brilliant satire today, Alan. I really like what you did with Brooks's original epigraph "pool players." Bravo! Everyone, in case you don't know the poem Alan's "opposite-ing" here, "We Real Cool" by Gwendolyn Brooks, here's a link to it. Friends, won’t you comment, please? Love to know what you’re thinking. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

NaPoWriMo / PAD 2023 • Pick a day: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Poetry Pubs So Far in 2017 (and One in 2016)

Friends, it's the eve of National Poetry Month, and tomorrow I'll begin writing a poem a day throughout the month of April. My poet buddy Thomas Alan Holmes will be joining me here in the blog with his poem-a-day productions as well. In the meantime, here are my poetry publications so far this year, besides the ones I've announced in the last few days. (Plus one from last year, shown below, at the end of this post.) "Head to the Sky" and photograph "Silvertone Silhouette" Published in The Ekphrastic Review (see image at right) "Space Opera" in The 2017 Rhysling Anthology Nominated for a Rhysling Award (short form — fewer than 50 lines) from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association Originally published in Altered Reality Magazine "Elegy for Iain Banks" in The 2016 Rhysling Anthology Nominated for a Rhysling Award (long form — 50 lines or more) from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association Originally published in Star*Line 39.3 Reprinted in Altered Reality Magazine "Doggie Diner, Geary and Arguello, 1969" in the ME, AT 17 series Published in Silver Birch Press And finally, from 2016, "Clerihews for a Literary Sailor" Published in the Parody Poetry Journal Here is that last one, for your enjoyment, since it's not currently available anywhere online.   Clerihews for a Famous Literary Sailor Herman Melville Was into whale kill, So he wrote the famous Moby-Dick Although harpooning was not his schtick. Herman Melville Couldn’t spell well. The real guy’s name was Israel, But Herman misspelled it as Ishmael. Herman Melville Didn't sell well. Thousands of Moby-Dick copies left over, In his attic, his basement, and his mom’s, moreover. Herman Melville Fished for bluegill. He said it was almost as fun as whale, If you don’t consider matters of scale. Herman Melville Visited Nashville. Where Moby-Dick didn’t get him too far ’Cause he couldn't sing or play guitar. Herman Melville Scared a Paris demoiselle. She said, “Mon cheri, with you it’s wrong. Your Moby-Dick is just too long.” —Vince Gotera, Parody Poetry Journal (Volume 5, Issue 2, 2016). Thanks to all the editors who published these poems: Kelly Christiansen (Altered Reality Magazine); Lorette C. Luzajic (The Ekphrastic Review); Brian Garrison (Parody Poetry Journal); Melanie Villines (Silver Birch Press); and F. J. Bergman (Star*Line). Friends, see you back here tomorrow for the beginning of NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day? Until then . . . Won’t you comment, please? I'd love to hear what you’re thinking. To comment, look for a red line below that starts Posted by, then click once on the word comments in that line. If you don’t find the word “comments” in that line, then look for a blue link below that says Post a comment and click it once. Thanks! Ingat, everyone.  ヅ

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P.S. I was wrong above. Turns out Parody Poetry Journal blogged my Melville clerihews on 30 January! See that pub here. Thanks again, Brian! (Added 3 April 2017)

Day Ten ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2014

Day Ten. A couple-three days ago, actually exactly between two days and three days, we were a fourth of the way through National Poetry Month. Today we are a third. The month is going by too quickly. Robert Lee Brewer's prompt today is for us to try to "write a future poem. The future might mean robots and computer chips. The future might mean apocalyptic catastrophes. The future might mean peace and understanding. The future might mean 1,000 years into the future; it might mean tomorrow (or next month)" (Poetic Asides). After giving some examples of poetic language used in advertisements, such as for Burma-Shave, Maureen Thorson said, "Today, I challenge you to write your own advertisement-poem. You don’t need to advertise Burma-Shave. Any product (or idea) will do. Perhaps you could write a poem advertising poetry? It certainly could use the publicity! (NaPoWriMo). Earlier today, I was having a hard time combining the two prompts. However, after reading Alan's sprightly and spicy jingle below, I was inspired to write the following ditty. It's a commercial jingle for Chevrolet twenty years in the future, but not Chevrolet the automobile company . . . it's Chevrolet the firearms conglomerate. Jingle of the Chevrolet Arms Co. in 2034 Rule the USA with a Chevrolet Using jacketed hollow-point rounds. Put them in the clay, it's their Judgment Day, If they mess with you, they’re out of bounds. On a gun range, or a holdup by a heavy, Firing is sweeter, automatic or repeater, Nothing like a heater that’s a Chevy. We don't smoke cigars, don't manufacture cars, We make you well-armed and unafraid. We don't soar to Mars, don't smash electric guitars, We just sell the best guns ever made. —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Wasn't that a fun bit of doggerel? Well, maybe not "fun" exactly since it may not be that far from the truth, except for the Chevrolet part. It's singable too. Here's a link to the original Chevrolet jingle I'm parodying in case you want to try singing my jingle: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhR8GZ_WWMM. And now to Alan's "sprightly and spicy jingle," as I called it above. Our good friend Alan says, by way of introduction to his Day Ten composition, "Today's poem combines some of the recent prompts, to write a version of a famous poem, to write a poem about the future, and to write a poem that is an advertisement. I promise that after today there will be no more versions of 'We Real Cool' in any form from me for the rest of the month." Jingle for the 2016 GOP Presidential Candidate We cold caste. We Praise past. We Uptight. We All white. We Pray sweet. We Pack heat. We Deep drill. We Soft kill. —Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes     [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] "I know this one is overtly political," Alan continues, "but recent events, including my state senate's voting to permit gun owners to open carry weapons even if they have had no training at all — one has to have training to concealed carry — have left me wondering what has happened to the American electorate to place such people in office." Well done, Alan. It was your phrases "pack heat" and "soft kill" that inspired my poem above. Alas, though, the GOP is not all-white, and I don't understand it. Nonetheless, bravo. Won't you comment, please? To make a comment, look for a blue link below that says Post a comment; if you don't see that, look in the red line that starts Posted by Vince and click on the word comments. Ingat, everyone. Anyone else want to write a poem riffin' on "We Real Cool"?   ヅ

POEM-A-DAY 2014 • Pick a day in April: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Day Eight ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day 2014

Day Eight. Yesterday I said we were roughly a fourth through National Poetry Month. I probably should have said we were a little under a fourth. And today we are a little over a fourth. The exact fourth would be 7.5, which would have been when . . . exactly at midnight last night. Wait, I posted yesterday's blog almost at midnight, so maybe my comment about yesterday being a fourth was almost exactly right. Robert Lee Brewer has a "Two for Tuesday" prompt again: write a violent poem / write a peaceful poem (Poetic Asides). Maureen Thorson suggests that we "rewrite a famous poem, giving it our own spin. While any famous poem will do, if you haven’t already got one in mind, why not try your own version of Cesar Vallejo’s 'Black Stone Lying on a White Stone'? If you’re not exactly sure how such a poem could be re-written,' check out this recent poem by Stephen Burt, which riffs on Vallejo’s" (NaPoWriMo). Thanks, Maureen and Robert. Trying today to mix all three prompts — love these Tuesdays. The famous poem I'm rewriting is William Carlos Williams's renowned note to his wife. My revision tries to be violent and then peaceful, though maybe it's just silly. Which is, of course, just fine. This is just to say I have jumped onto my head from the top of the icebox Forgive me that was a bad joke to distract you from the missing mangoes delicious sweet so cold at peace in me —Draft by Vince Gotera    [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Apologies to WCW. Parody, right? Our good friend Alan starts us off on his poem today: "I am a bit disappointed that Southern Appalachians have become American exotics again, so I am taking yesterday's prompt to write a love poem to 'an inanimate object,' in this case an abstract concept, and pushing my facetious button." Four-Lane Highway 36 Love Poem Oh, stereotyped southern Appalachia, today my heart is full as ashtrays outside tanning booths. Your love is Oxycontin, Sugar, and it makes my head spin around like a lost wheel into trackside seats in the Waltrip section. You kiss as soft as pajama pants cuffs frayed as the bitten fingernails of the pre-dawn Walmart shoppers. Without you, my life would be as colorless as your patches of hair where the peroxide hasn’t grown out. You are free as a ten percent sales tax, safe as a stand-your-ground neighbor, faithful as a Republican representative elected on a “family values” platform. I love you slow. I love you slack. I love you banged-up, scabby, and dirty until the sun comes up and you disappear like a third grade-graduated Li’l Abner knock-off pursued by a frigid schoolmarm secretary around the cement ponds of summers past. Those mall girls have nothing on you; my love is as everlasting as God, as true as a bullet, and as deep as my debt. —Draft by Thomas Alan Holmes     [Do not copy or quote . . . thanks.] Love the lines "You are free as a ten percent sales tax, / safe as a stand-your-ground neighbor, / faithful as a Republican representative" . . . so sarcastic. And also love the transient but momentary hope in "patches of hair / where the peroxide hasn’t grown out." Again, a keeper, Alan. Map from Southern Appalachian International Film Festival (SOAPIFF) Won't you comment below, please? To write a comment, look for a blue link below that says "Post a comment"; if you don't see that, look in the red line that starts "Posted by Vince" and click on the word "comments" later in that line. Ingat, everyone. Hope your week is going well.   ヅ

POEM-A-DAY 2014 • Pick a day in April: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Day 15 ... NaPoWriMo / Poem-a-Day

Friends, today marks the halfway point of National Poetry Month. Hope you're continuing to read a poem a day or write a poem a day. And, most important, having fun! At NaPoWriMo.net, Maureen Thorson suggests we “pen a parody,” reminding us “a parody doesn’t have to be mean to be good — sometimes a gentle ribbing is sufficient.” At Poetic Asides, Robert Lee Brewer tells us: “use the following five words in your poem: slash, button, mask, strap, and balloon.” At Circle the Block, Andrea Boltwood says the magic word “limerick”! Okay, I'm mashing all three up again! More silliness today. Prompts: Write a Parody, a Limerick, and Use The Words Slash, Button, Trap, Mask, Balloon For Maureen Thorson, Andrea Boltwood, and Robert Lee Brewer There once was a poet named Brewer Who said, use these words and no fewer: Slash, button, and trap, Mask, balloon, and — oh, crap, I've run out of wo-ords, for su-ure. —Draft by Vince Gotera     [do not copy or quote ... thanks] Once again, a memory poem from Catherine, off prompt. And, as we’ve seen all month, marvelous stuff, friends. Performance “All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten.” — Robert Fulghum This morning’s sunrise like cotton candy singes dew coated lilac and sweet pea, leaving a bee’s nectar breakfast and a memory of old Elk Park School, Mary Margaret Julian, who held me on her perfumed lap after lunch, before afternoon cookies and juice. In kindergarten, I wore a grass skirt, sang about going to a hukilau, a huki huki huki huki hukilau, cast my net into the crepe paper sea, then let the sweet coconut milk of success fill my belly, while parents clapped genuine as the plastic lei around my neck, tipped my top hat to the crowd, delighted to present the next act, Jimmy Bailey, tamer of tigers and lions. My glory cut short by a whisper in my ear that changed my line, roared into a mirror for weeks, to a meek, “Ladies and Gentleman, Jimmy Bailey is not here.” I sunk behind the stage, wore another mask the ringmaster’s mistake quickly forgiven. As the tightrope walker, I stole the show a skill, a lesson, I learn again each day, so I swallow the morning as the last gray-sky square sleeps, lilacs blushing in the sun. —Draft by Catherine Pritchard Childress     [do not copy or quote ... thanks] Our featured poem-a-day site today is Chromapoesy by Anna Montgomery. Like yesterday's featured blog — in fact yesterday's blogger, Aprille, told me about Anna's site — today's NaPoWriMo blog incorporates various media and approaches: poetry (of course), photography, audio, video, art, music, voice, and so on. On Day 12, Anna posted a lovely videopoem, "Thresholds." My favorite post is from Day 2, a beautiful poem titled "Blush of Dawn," accompanied by Anna's lovely photo of Petra. Brava, Anna! Well, so much for the Ides of April. Fifteen poems down, fifteen to go. Hope that Tax Day goes well for you tomorrow. If you’re not in the US, bless you for not having Tax Day tomorrow. And please leave us a comment below, Tax Day or no Tax Day. Many thanks. Ingat. POEM-A-DAY 2012 • Pick a day in April: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30